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[Joke] Condemn Osiris

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Lenlyvit
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Democratic Socialists

[Joke] Condemn Osiris

Postby Lenlyvit » Tue Apr 06, 2021 3:59 am

Any thoughts on how to make this better are much appreciated!

The Security Council,

Noting that Osiris is one of the largest regions in the world, being classified as a Sinker region where nations are reborn;

Believing that a region of this classification should be able to uphold its obligations to other friendly regions, especially when it comes to foreign affairs objectives;

Stating as part of this record that Osiris has over the course of the last two years failed to achieve these obligations, especially under the delegacy of Valerievna;

Naming one region that Osiris has wronged in this manner to be Balder, who they had recently promised to rescind statements of Balder's government being a puppet of [region]The Land of Kings and Emperors[/regions] and reneged on that promise;

Reminding the Security Council that beyond these things Osiris is, and has been since the inception of the Osiris Fraternal Order regional government, a raider oriented region with the objective to attack and destroy innocent regional communities;

Abhorred by Osiris's lack of regard for regional sovereignty and community with the use of their regional military, the Osiris Sekhmet Legion, which has attacked and destroyed countless regions throughout its roughly nine years of existence;

Listing some of their numerous targets for regional destruction to be Socialist Alliance of Eurasia, Esti, The Last Bastions of Earth, Baphomet, Esterios, Politics Amino, DankMemes, and Asia 1;

Shocked that Osiris has yet to be condemned by this body for their various transgressions against other regions, their inability to keep their promises in foreign affairs, and their total lack of regard for regional sovereignty;

Hereby condemns the Sinker region of Osiris.
Last edited by Lenlyvit on Tue Apr 06, 2021 8:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Honeydewistania
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Postby Honeydewistania » Tue Apr 06, 2021 4:29 am

There’s a BBCode error in the Balder line. Also, is it necessary to state that Osiris is a sinker region? (Particularly the last line)

I feel this needs a lot more elaboration, especially on specific raids, like Politics Amino (Unless this is intentional)
Last edited by Honeydewistania on Tue Apr 06, 2021 4:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Syberis
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Postby Syberis » Tue Apr 06, 2021 6:48 am

DankMemes? La Navasse's fash-embracing mistake? You're using that in a condemn?

Certainly a choice.
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Comfed
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Postby Comfed » Tue Apr 06, 2021 6:54 am

There’s not enough material in this resolution.
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Bhang Bhang Duc
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Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Tue Apr 06, 2021 7:25 am

So Osiris and Balder are currently having a bit of a diplomatic stoush. Not really condemnable. The clauses about Osiris being a raider region contain a fair bit of fluff and no real data apart from a laundry list of regions.

Overall, you have not made any sort of case here for condemning Osiris.
Last edited by Bhang Bhang Duc on Tue Apr 06, 2021 7:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Outer Sparta
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Postby Outer Sparta » Tue Apr 06, 2021 7:46 am

I don't know too much about Osiris and their activities, but you definitely need to add more information to make your case that Osiris is condemnable. So far, I fail to see that.
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Calamari Lands
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Postby Calamari Lands » Tue Apr 06, 2021 8:15 am

Lenlyvit wrote:Any thoughts on how to make this better are much appreciated!

The Security Council,

Noting that Osiris is one of the largest regions in the world, being classified as a Sinker region where nations are reborn;

Believing that a region of this classification should be able to uphold its obligations to other friendly regions, especially when it comes to foreign affairs objectives;

Stating as part of this record that Osiris has over the course of the last two years failed to achieve these obligations, especially under the delegacy of Valerievna;

Naming one region that Osiris has wronged in this manner to be Balder, who they had recently promised to rescind statements of Balder's government being a puppet of [region]The Land of Kings and Emperors[/regions] and reneged on that promise;

Reminding the Security Council that beyond these things Osiris is, and has been since the inception of the Osiris Fraternal Order regional government, a raider oriented region with the objective to attack and destroy innocent regional communities;

Abhorred by Osiris's lack of regard for regional sovereignty and community with the use of their regional military, the Osiris Sekhmet Legion, which has attacked and destroyed countless regions throughout its roughly nine years of existence;

Listing some of their numerous targets for regional destruction to be Socialist Alliance of Eurasia, Esti, The Last Bastions of Earth, Baphomet, Esterios, Politics Amino, DankMemes, and Asia 1;

Shocked that Osiris has yet to be condemned by this body for their various transgressions against other regions, their inability to keep their promises in foreign affairs, and their total lack of regard for regional sovereignty;

Hereby condemns the Sinker region of Osiris.

I'm by far not a WA authority, but as one of the delegates that would have to approve your proposal, I think my advice is at least worth putting out there.

As others have said, this resolution doesn't convince me that Osiris deserves a condemnation. I know very little about Osiris, and your proposal does mention condemn-worthy things, but in a way, it doesn't really elaborate on them. I feel like most delegates want to see a more explicit explanation of why the condemnation is deserved.

For example: Most of your proposal relies on their usage of raiding, but you only explain their objetives as "attacking and destroying innocent regional communities". Why are they innocent? Why were they targeted? Can you elaborate on the targets you mentioned and explain what happened? As the resolution stands, it doesn't really elaborate on why Osiris' raiding deserves to be condemned. Of course, you can't write a whole book about it, but I'm pretty sure that your current draft is far from the character limit, and one sentence to answer each question should be enough to explain things and prompt delegates to research if they desire more information.

Not only that, but you also mention Sinker region obligations. What obligations are those? Why do they not uphold them? What happened with Valerievna, the delegate you mention?

It's worth noting also that there's a BBCode typo in [/regions]. And on the topic of nitpicks, you mention that they're a sinker in the operative clause and I think that's redundant and unnecessary. Either way, I hope this advice is useful to you. Best of luck with the drafting.
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Tim-Opolis
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Postby Tim-Opolis » Tue Apr 06, 2021 8:19 am

This proposal is honestly pretty cringe. I expected better from you.
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Lenlyvit
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Postby Lenlyvit » Tue Apr 06, 2021 8:30 am

I wasn't actually serious about condemning Osiris guys, you'll know one of my serious proposals when I post one >·>.
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Calamari Lands
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Postby Calamari Lands » Tue Apr 06, 2021 8:36 am

Lenlyvit wrote:I wasn't actually serious about condemning Osiris guys, you'll know one of my serious proposals when I post one >·>.

Oh, it's a joke? Good job then, you got me. Better than the other joke proposals.
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Lenlyvit
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Postby Lenlyvit » Tue Apr 06, 2021 8:38 am

Calamari Lands wrote:
Lenlyvit wrote:I wasn't actually serious about condemning Osiris guys, you'll know one of my serious proposals when I post one >·>.

Oh, it's a joke? Good job then, you got me. Better than the other joke proposals.

If you look at my 17 passed resolutions and compare to this one you'll see quite a difference in my writing. Yes, it was a joke intended to start GP nonsense and political stuff. Doesn't normally work out though :(.
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Altino
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Postby Altino » Tue Apr 06, 2021 8:42 am

Honeydewistania wrote:There’s a BBCode error in the Balder line. Also, is it necessary to state that Osiris is a sinker region? (Particularly the last line)

I feel this needs a lot more elaboration, especially on specific raids, like Politics Amino (Unless this is intentional)


Can I be honest with you guys? I still don't get what the big deal with Politics Amino was. That went totally over my head and it still does.

Lenlyvit wrote:
Calamari Lands wrote:Oh, it's a joke? Good job then, you got me. Better than the other joke proposals.

If you look at my 17 passed resolutions and compare to this one you'll see quite a difference in my writing. Yes, it was a joke intended to start GP nonsense and political stuff. Doesn't normally work out though :(.


Lol, yeah, no offense, but when I read this my first instinct was "what? Lenly can do way better than this <.<" so that tracks.
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Calamari Lands
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Postby Calamari Lands » Tue Apr 06, 2021 8:45 am

Lenlyvit wrote:
Calamari Lands wrote:Oh, it's a joke? Good job then, you got me. Better than the other joke proposals.

If you look at my 17 passed resolutions and compare to this one you'll see quite a difference in my writing. Yes, it was a joke intended to start GP nonsense and political stuff. Doesn't normally work out though :(.

I see. I hadn't taken a look at your other resolutions.
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Wymondham
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Postby Wymondham » Tue Apr 06, 2021 8:53 am

Ngl, you had me for a moment there lol
Last edited by Wymondham on Tue Apr 06, 2021 8:55 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Syberis
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Postby Syberis » Tue Apr 06, 2021 9:27 am

Lenlyvit wrote:I wasn't actually serious about condemning Osiris guys, you'll know one of my serious proposals when I post one >·>.


The only apparent joke here is the quality of the proposal - if this is your idea of comedy, I would not suggest headlining at The Laugh Factory anytime soon.
Last edited by Syberis on Tue Apr 06, 2021 9:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Tim-Opolis
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Postby Tim-Opolis » Tue Apr 06, 2021 9:57 am

Lenlyvit wrote:I wasn't actually serious about condemning Osiris guys, you'll know one of my serious proposals when I post one >·>.

This honestly reads more like desperate backpedalling following a diverse array of critics rightfully calling out an overly dramatic, half-baked mistake of a proposal. It’s funny how your proclaimed intent to not reinvolve yourself in GP upon your return seemed to have lasted all of a week or two.
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Lenlyvit
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Postby Lenlyvit » Tue Apr 06, 2021 10:23 am

Syberis wrote:
Lenlyvit wrote:I wasn't actually serious about condemning Osiris guys, you'll know one of my serious proposals when I post one >·>.


The only apparent joke here is the quality of the proposal - if this is your idea of comedy, I would not suggest headlining at The Laugh Factory anytime soon.

I'm not known for good jokes, 'tis true.

Tim-Opolis wrote:
Lenlyvit wrote:I wasn't actually serious about condemning Osiris guys, you'll know one of my serious proposals when I post one >·>.

This honestly reads more like desperate backpedalling following a diverse array of critics rightfully calling out an overly dramatic, half-baked mistake of a proposal. It’s funny how your proclaimed intent to not reinvolve yourself in GP upon your return seemed to have lasted all of a week or two.

You can believe what you want Tim :roll:. And I would have stayed out of GP if something hadn't pissed me off in the last week.
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Outer Sparta
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Postby Outer Sparta » Tue Apr 06, 2021 10:29 am

Lenlyvit wrote:
Syberis wrote:
The only apparent joke here is the quality of the proposal - if this is your idea of comedy, I would not suggest headlining at The Laugh Factory anytime soon.

I'm not known for good jokes, 'tis true.

Tim-Opolis wrote:This honestly reads more like desperate backpedalling following a diverse array of critics rightfully calling out an overly dramatic, half-baked mistake of a proposal. It’s funny how your proclaimed intent to not reinvolve yourself in GP upon your return seemed to have lasted all of a week or two.

You can believe what you want Tim :roll:. And I would have stayed out of GP if something hadn't pissed me off in the last week.

At least this joke proposal is better-written than the sheer amounts of other terribly-written joke proposals that are treated as serious ones.
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Honeydewistania
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Postby Honeydewistania » Tue Apr 06, 2021 3:57 pm

I can’t laugh at this resolution. There’s no amogus.
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Postby The Python » Wed Apr 07, 2021 7:31 pm

Honeydewistania wrote:I can’t laugh at this resolution. There’s no amogus.

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Outer Sparta
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Postby Outer Sparta » Wed Apr 07, 2021 8:55 pm

Honeydewistania wrote:I can’t laugh at this resolution. There’s no amogus.

What's with your recent obsession with amongus? How is that a tangible value in joke proposals?
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Kuriko it's good but it needs amogus and vara puppy kickers
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