NATION

PASSWORD

(Draft) Commend Forest

A chamber dedicated to the dissemination of inter-regional peace and goodwill, via force if necessary.
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The Rouge Christmas State
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(Draft) Commend Forest

Postby The Rouge Christmas State » Mon Jun 27, 2016 7:53 am

The Security Council,

Impressed with Forest's dedication toward promoting the well-being of environments throughout NationStates, even though they lost their original founder early on they persevered, and have been a bastion of democracy for others,

Acknowledging the role Forest has played since 2005 in bringing awareness to a variety of environmental issues and stories, through their newsletter entitled, "Forest News Leaf," and the encouragement of nations to embrace and preserve their environments,

Further Impressed with Forest’s dedication to their allies such as Philosophy 115, Hippy Haven, and Yggdrasil strengthening their friendship through international photo contest,

Further Acknowledging that Forest doesn't just promote eco-friendliness, but is also home to some of the most environmentally friendly and environmentally beautiful nations throughout NationStates, such as Araneidae and Mozworld, and recognizes nations for their achievements in Eco-Friendly categories in the list of “Exceptionally Green Nations in Forest,”

Noting that Forest is home to numerous nations that have contributed to NationStates in some way, including Ransium, Mount Seymour, and Zwangzug who have authored issues focusing on the environment such as, “Songbirds’ Decline Ruffles Feathers” and “A Clearcut Dilemma”,

Recognizing that the Forest has soared above the rest for authoring issues regarding the environment, they also have had their impact on the World Assembly, with notable authors such as Caracasus, who wrote a resolution promoting research of unique ecosystems,

Further Noting that the issue and World Assembly authors in the Forest help, inspire, and critique one another in their authorship, bringing forth a creative and intelligent environment for progress,

Believing that Forest should get the recognition they deserve for the issues brought to light and the World Assembly authorship to further their goals of protecting the environment and promoting eco-friendliness,

Hereby Commends Forest

Co-Authored by United Massachusetts

Edit 1: Removed Commas, reworded first and second clause
Edit 2: Added examples
Edit 3: Added Eco friendly tag
Edit 4: Removed Eco tag reference
Edit 5: Removed Noting clause and added new clauses
Edit 6: Quite a few revisions
Edit 7: Added Mozworld, added more to the Believing clause, and corrected spelling of "Dilemma".
Edit 8: Corrected order of noting clauses and added clause for the creative environment in Forest.
Edit 9: Added info about their early history and friendships with other regions.
Edit 10: Minor grammar edits.
Edit 11: Fixed spelling of Hippy Haven
Edit: 12 Simplified the Noting clause
Last edited by The Rouge Christmas State on Fri Mar 24, 2017 5:02 pm, edited 12 times in total.

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Adytus
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Postby Adytus » Mon Jun 27, 2016 11:37 am

Ambassador Mike Lynn walks in,

"There seems to be a lot of commons where there should not be. Have your office go through it a couple of times and make sure you get them all. It will help your case. I went through and had my office make a couple of edits to your draft. I hope they help; however, your office is free to do what you want with them, Ambassador."

Further Noting that Forest is the torch bearer of environmentalism throughout NationStates and that their continued dedication to their cause deserves recognition,

Acknowledging the role Forest has played in bringing awareness to a variety of environmental issues and stories through their newsletter, "Forest News Leaf," and the encouragement of nations to embrace and preserve their environments,

Recognizing that even though a series of invasions took place in the early history of Forest, they still continued to promote their cause during these time period,

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We Are Not the NSA
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Postby We Are Not the NSA » Mon Jun 27, 2016 12:00 pm

The rouge Christmas state wrote:The Security Council,

Impressed with Forest's, and their dedication since 2005 toward promoting the well being of environments throughout NationStates,

Did some word rearranging.

Acknowledging the role Forest has played since 2005 of bringing awareness to a variety of environmental issues and stories through their newsletter entitled, "Forest News Leaf," and encouragement of nations to embrace and preserve their environments,

Could you name a few of the specific environmental issues they have covered?

Noting that this is not in least part due to the photo contests held within the region to promote closer connection with the environment,

I fail to see how taking pictures of trees helps preserve them. That's just my opinion.

Further Acknowledging that Forest, doesn't just promote Eco- friendliness, but is also home to some of the most environmentally friendly nations throughout NationStates,

Unnecessary comma. Should be "eco-friendliness" (no need to capitalize, or put a space after the dash). Also, can you name a few specific examples?

Further Noting that, Forest, is the torch bearer of environmentalism throughout NationStates and that their continued dedication to their cause deserves recognition,

Two unnecessary commas. Also, I'll be honest: in 3.5 years of playing NS I have never heard of Forest.

Recognizing even through a series of invasions from raiders in the early history of Forest, they still continued to promote their cause during this time period,

This sentence has two prepositional clauses that essentially say the same thing.
Believing that commendations are to be reserved for outstanding achievements and setting examples of what others should strive to achieve,

This clause isn't 100% necessary.

Amazed by the consistent ability of Forest members to meet this mark,

Hereby Commends Forest

Co-Authored by United Massachusetts

Overall I think that the target region's actions are commendable, but not Commendable.
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The Rouge Christmas State
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Postby The Rouge Christmas State » Mon Jun 27, 2016 12:38 pm

First of all thanks for the help from both of you, we've modified the proposal as suggested. The new secretary is still learning how to write a good proposal.
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The United Universe
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Postby The United Universe » Tue Jun 28, 2016 4:42 am

The rouge Christmas state wrote:The Security Council,

Impressed with Forest's dedication toward promoting the well being of environments throughout NationStates,

Acknowledging the role Forest has played since 2005 bringing awareness to a variety of environmental issues and stories, including updates on the pollution in the South Kolaxa Sea being documented in their newsletter entitled, "Forest News Leaf," and the encouragement of nations to embrace and preserve their environments,

Noting that this is not in least part due to the photo contests held within the region to promote closer connection with the environment,

Further Acknowledging that Forest doesn't just promote eco-friendliness, but is also home to some of the most environmentally friendly nations throughout NationStates, such as Araneidae, being the most eco-friendly nation in the world,

Further Noting that Forest is the torch bearer of environmentalism throughout NationStates and that their continued dedication to their cause deserves recognition,

Recognizing even though a series of invasions took place in the early history of Forest, they still continued to promote their cause,

Amazed by the consistent ability of Forest members to meet this mark,

Hereby Commends Forest

Co-Authored by United Massachusetts

I think this is a very good idea.
Working for World Peace - The Federation of the United Universe.

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Bhang Bhang Duc
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Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Tue Jun 28, 2016 12:16 pm

There's not really a lot to go on in this proposal. More details needed as far as I'm concerned.

Have to agree with NSA; the region may be doing commendable things, but they are not worthy of a Commend based on what's written here.
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The German Democratic Reich
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Postby The German Democratic Reich » Tue Jun 28, 2016 1:12 pm

Get some more detail in this and you may have my support.

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Kurdish Gulf
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Postby Kurdish Gulf » Wed Jun 29, 2016 12:31 am

The noting part is just un nessicary, i know your trying to be funny and make a joke, but it is just pointless and a waste of space.
This is a draft to an international organization, not a post on some website.

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The Rouge Christmas State
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Postby The Rouge Christmas State » Wed Jun 29, 2016 8:56 am

Appears they were advocates for the inclusion of the Eco friendly tag, so I've included that now.
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Bhang Bhang Duc
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Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Wed Jun 29, 2016 9:36 am

The rouge Christmas state wrote:Appears they were advocates for the inclusion of the Eco friendly tag, so I've included that now.

Might want to check if that's legal, might be an R4c violation.
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Adytus
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Postby Adytus » Wed Jun 29, 2016 9:50 am

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:
The rouge Christmas state wrote:Appears they were advocates for the inclusion of the Eco friendly tag, so I've included that now.

Might want to check if that's legal, might be an R4c violation.

"You should be able to word it the right way to get around the R4 violation, though."

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The Rouge Christmas State
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Postby The Rouge Christmas State » Wed Jun 29, 2016 11:32 am

Adytus wrote:
Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:Might want to check if that's legal, might be an R4c violation.

"You should be able to word it the right way to get around the R4 violation, though."

Oops, my bad it has been fixed.
Last edited by The Rouge Christmas State on Sat Feb 25, 2017 11:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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The Rouge Christmas State
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Postby The Rouge Christmas State » Sun Mar 19, 2017 5:37 pm

I think I'll blow the dust off of this proposal and see what you guys think of some of the edits I've made.
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Bhang Bhang Duc
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Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Mon Mar 20, 2017 3:31 pm

The Rouge Christmas State wrote:The Security Council,

Impressed with Forest's dedication toward promoting the well being of environments throughout NationStates,

Acknowledging the role Forest has played since 2005 in bringing awareness to a variety of environmental issues and stories, including updates on the pollution in the South Kolaxa Sea being documented in through their newsletter entitled, "Forest News Leaf," and the encouragement of nations to embrace and preserve their environments,

I'd lose the Kolaxa Sea stuff. Everyone will do what I did and ask "what?"

The Rouge Christmas State wrote:Further Acknowledging that Forest doesn't just promote eco-friendliness, but is also home to some of the most environmentally friendly nations throughout NationStates, such as Araneidae,

Ok.

The Rouge Christmas State wrote:Further Noting that Forest has numerous nations that are issue contributors including Ransium and Candlewhisper archive, along with these nations the Forest is also home to nations who are World Assembly authors including Caracasus and Mount Seymour,

Lots of regions have WA authors etc. residing in them - not really a commendable quality. And I thought you were commending them for their environmentalism. Sort of suggests that there's not really enough there.

The Rouge Christmas State wrote:Recognizing even though a series of invasions took place in the early history of Forest, they persevered returning the region to a stronger state than before,

Amazed by the impact that Forest has had, even if not recognized all of the time,

Believing that Forest should get the recognition they deserve,

Hereby Commends Forest


Nothing illegal that I can see, but as I said when you first published this there's not a lot of detail or commendable material.
Former Delegate and current Guardian (again) of The West Pacific

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Goddess Relief Office
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Postby Goddess Relief Office » Mon Mar 20, 2017 7:27 pm

@OP
Here's some additional material if you're looking for something else to include: Forest had sent volunteers to help cure Yggdrasil nations during the annual zombie event for the last several years in a row. They've been very helpful to friends in need.
Keeper of The World Tree - Yggdrasil
General Assembly:
GA#053 - Epidemic Response Act
GA#163 - Repeal LOTS
GA#223 - Transboundary Water Use Act

Security Council:
SC#030 - Commend 10000 Islands (co-author)
SC#044 - Commend Texas (co-author)
SC#066 - Repeal "Liberate Wonderful Paradise"
SC#108 - Liberate South Pacific
SC#135 - Liberate Anarchy (co-author)
SC#139 - Repeal "Liberate South Pacific"

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Nice links for easy reference:
Passed WA Resolutions | GA Resolutions (sorted by category) | GA Rules

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Abhichandra
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Postby Abhichandra » Mon Mar 20, 2017 9:01 pm

Here's a factbook entailing all of Forest's history. You may have already used it, but it's quite interesting!

https://www.nationstates.net/page=dispatch/id=485765
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The Rouge Christmas State
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Postby The Rouge Christmas State » Mon Mar 20, 2017 10:33 pm

I appreciate the advice and information, I've made a few edits and wanted to get some feedback on them and to see if their legal. I'll continue to add more and fix things.
Last edited by The Rouge Christmas State on Mon Mar 20, 2017 10:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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The Marsupial Illuminati
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Postby The Marsupial Illuminati » Mon Mar 20, 2017 11:08 pm

I have a puppet residing in Forest, though I am very inactive there and rarely post anything on the RMB. One thing that I would mention in this proposal is Forest's map. It is such a great and unique idea, quite different from many other regional maps. Also, their Exceptionally Green Nations in Forest is another aspect of the region worth mentioning in this proposal. And their RMB, last time I checked, is active and usually filled with meaningful discussion about both NS and RL topics.
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Aimdar-Goomdar wrote:DankMemes, and the author of the Proposal Aimdar-Goomdar, withdraws all reasons and claims for the Liberation of Antalia and hereby revokes all intention to pass the proposal. Furthermore, Aimdar-Goomdar no longer believes that Antalia is in need of Liberation and now promotes the vote of "AGAINST" for the proposal. Additionally, DankMemes deeply apologizes for the telegrams sent out regarding the Delegates of the Major Regions of NationStates (the Game Created Regions) as "Corrupt Delegates" and revokes all claims made in any campaign telegrams sent in favor of this Liberation.

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Bhang Bhang Duc
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Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Tue Mar 21, 2017 4:10 am

The Rouge Christmas State wrote:I appreciate the advice and information, I've made a few edits and wanted to get some feedback on them and to see if their legal. I'll continue to add more and fix things.

Edit 6 is a lot better - you're giving a consistent message about the thing that matters most to the region.
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Aclion
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Postby Aclion » Tue Mar 21, 2017 2:11 pm

There doesn't seem to be a lot once you strip away the stuff nations have done on their own. I don't see being home to nations that write lots of issues to be commendable, not unless the region is involved in the authorship somehow.
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The Rouge Christmas State
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Postby The Rouge Christmas State » Tue Mar 21, 2017 8:56 pm

Aclion wrote:There doesn't seem to be a lot once you strip away the stuff nations have done on their own. I don't see being home to nations that write lots of issues to be commendable, not unless the region is involved in the authorship somehow.

The recognizing clause addresses that very topic.

I've made a few more edits, I still don't know if I've done the issues correctly.
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Aclion
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Postby Aclion » Tue Mar 21, 2017 9:25 pm

The Rouge Christmas State wrote:
Aclion wrote:There doesn't seem to be a lot once you strip away the stuff nations have done on their own. I don't see being home to nations that write lots of issues to be commendable, not unless the region is involved in the authorship somehow.

The recognizing clause addresses that very topic.

I've made a few more edits, I still don't know if I've done the issues correctly.

Does forest actually collaborate on issues then?
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The Rouge Christmas State
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Postby The Rouge Christmas State » Tue Mar 21, 2017 9:41 pm

Aclion wrote:
The Rouge Christmas State wrote:The recognizing clause addresses that very topic.

I've made a few more edits, I still don't know if I've done the issues correctly.

Does forest actually collaborate on issues then?

From what I've seen they collaborate with one another to come up with ideas and help one another.
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Aclion
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Postby Aclion » Wed Mar 22, 2017 7:20 pm

The Rouge Christmas State wrote:
Aclion wrote:Does forest actually collaborate on issues then?

From what I've seen they collaborate with one another to come up with ideas and help one another.

Maybe the text should be clearer on that then. I was left with the impression they were being commended for simply having many nations that write issues related to the environment.
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Author of Oatland's Articles of Confederation
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The Rouge Christmas State
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Postby The Rouge Christmas State » Thu Mar 23, 2017 9:12 am

Aclion wrote:
The Rouge Christmas State wrote:From what I've seen they collaborate with one another to come up with ideas and help one another.

Maybe the text should be clearer on that then. I was left with the impression they were being commended for simply having many nations that write issues related to the environment.

I've added a new clause to address just that.
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