You know you are...

[Swilatia]

...you learned English from advertisements.

Damn, why didn't I think of that one?

[Gaian Ascendancy]

You know you're a Gaian when:

....you settle duels by having angels come out your back, and tickle another angel.
....when an entire planet is considered an artwork to work on.
....you live longer than any thought of Social Security could ever dare cover.
....you forget a birthday or anniversary, because there's been millions of them already.
....that when you forget an Angel God's or Valkyrium's birthday or anniversary, you 'need' to be resurrected.
....stuff like time, space, other universes, realities... ect... just make you bored.
....being ascended, means no worry about flashlights.
....being angelic, means plenty of feathers for pillow fights. (Or just feather fights.)
....taking a Universal Census, takes only seconds. (Sect-cyclons persay.)
....being on the Network, means hiding secrets is a *****!!!
....the idea of holiday's is daily. That they usually have fireworks.
....in space.
....huge ones.
....your known worst disaster, 'is' the end of the Universe. (And not just one.)
....beauty is skin deep, soul deep, subspace deep, everything else deep.
....usually you fall in love, you go through story book tales 'after' the fact. (Usually against your will.)
....that you also usually end up in multiple love interests at once. (Usually against your will.)
....traveling without moving, involves a tree seed, and being squished flat in the process. (And a bunch of grapefruit sized orbs.)
....you're best friends are either trees, glass, big birds, akin of religion, a genetic super being, or your own soul. (And usually it's all of the above.)
....and half of all that, fall in love with you. (Usually against your will.)
....the Council, the most insane acting bunch of dorks, is your best source of stability.
....your fleet contains at least one of every kind of ship in known Existence.
....and you still look for more.
....your most certified minds are certified insane mad-geniuses.
....you consider a 500km warship, still small compared to the rest of the Universe. (And still you freak out other nations all the same.)
....you consider a 50,000 ton Battlemech, still small compared to the rest of a planet. (And still you freak out entire enemy cities, all the same.)
....and then you have one Angel God or Valkyrium, just blast/slice apart a mountain, making said Universe/Planet in awe/surrender, all the same.
....and then you make hard fast friends with them, afterward. At all costs. At no expense.
....you remember that Earth was where it all started. (And you have Core Laws preventing attempts to capture said planet.)

[Kalakda]

You know you live in Kalakda when...

-You are afraid to ride the Ferris Wheel at the fair.

-You stare in shock at women who actually wear bikinis.

-You walk past a church, a synagogue, and a mosque all next to each other.

-You walk through a peaceful forest in the morning, and walk through a hot dry desert in the afternoon.

-You see a large crocodile basking in the sun, wearing sunglasses and a bikini.

-You think "environmentalist" is synonymous with "idiot"

-You have a huge cheese stash.

-Your library consists entirely of joke books.

-You wonder why other nations' women wear thongs.

-You are scared of gay people.

-You see contests of who's the most lazy.

[Redslavia]

You know you are Redslavian when you are...

- An advocate to destroy all traditional monarchy.
- A die hard authoritarian
- You are a female and are the dominant and older one in your relationship
- You find honor in a Scorpion's tail
- You can withstand any damage from Tiberium
- You have this awkward hatred of cheese and borderline worship for yogurt.
- You believe that Premier Faustus's baldness is a sign of a god's mind.
- You don't mind if people say that they like blondes over brunettes, you stab their neck anyway.
- You have a knack for granola.
- You like to edit your posts when you gain more ideas.
- You enjoy to play with coins and have a contest on who can keep a coin up the longest.
- You see a Libertarian and immediately puke on them.
- You know the cake is not a lie and GlaDos WILL give you that damn cake!
- You play too much Half Life and/or Command and Conquer
- You want a pet Tank

[Rhodmhire]

You know you're a Rhodmhirian if...

...you're a 60s-80s musical Nazi.
...you do most of your worship on Forum 7.
...you only elect politicians into office so you can vote them out a month later.
...you find yourself being constantly raped in the night.
...your wallet is full of CDS, apples, fancy suits, and other random objects.
...your dog has more rights than your wife.
...your favorite sport is beating the sports players with sticks.
...you're not different.

[Red Latin American]

ou know you are Latin when you...
You do not know the meaning of words such as poverty, hunger, police and employer.
You work four hours a day and four times a week at most.
You have upper level and speaks at least five different languages.
You own property.
You've never been unemployed throughout his life, and never needed to seek employment, however, has the job you always wanted.
You clean the streets and take care yourself of the country where you live.
You do not pay taxes directly, everything that moves the country is deducted from your salary.
You do not need money for practically nothing at all in-country transportation, studies, medicine are completely free, and leisure, would live and feed has negligible cost.
You armed.
You are part of the armed militia that defends its region, and take turns on patrol with their neighbors.
For you, profit is a dirty word, and greed is an aberration.
You understand politics.
If a public official does not work properly, you and your neighbors get together and ask for their expulsion.
You call Plebicito to strip politicians, implement or veto legislation.
You vote at least ten times per year
Unless you are handicapped, you serve or have served the Latin Red Army for at least fifteen years.

[Arumdaum]

You know you are Arumdaum if
- You use electronic toilets
- Your mom becomes hell when it comes to studying
- Your English pronouncation is so horrible people think you are mentally retarded
- Your IQ is over 110
- You continually think of suicide because of pressure
- You consider a 99% an epic fail
- You can kill someone with your mindpower
- You sleep on the floor
- You have rice with every meal
- You have at least ten cousins living in another country
- You go to a sauna where everyone is naked every week
- You sing karaoke nearly every day
- You replace v sounds with a b
- You replace f sounds with a p
- You read too much
- You live in an apartment
- Nearly all of your doors are sliding doors
- Your scary movies and books are kick ass

[The Adrian Empire]

You know you are an Adrian when....


When you join the army so you can buy your own house....
When you walk into a bank with a fully-loaded pistol in your jacket, walk up to the counter and ask her to set up a savings account...
When you've never really felt the need to grumble about taxes, being that there hardly is any....
When you are going through security at the airport, and ask where you can buy some ammo for your concealed pistol, the security guards smile and point you to the gun store next to gate 5 then sets you on your way to your flight...
When you know the police are the always there but you kind of wonder why....
When you sickened by a man who lets a door close on a lady....
When you watch more commercials than you do television....
When you can't decide between voting for the Imperial Libertarian Party, and the Imperial Conservative Party...
When you think wearing a t-shirt in public is obscene.....
When you have a Communist Take-over Contingency Plan, a Zombie Apocalypse Contingency Plan and an Alien Invasion Contingency Plan, and all three start with "Step 1) Grab your gun"....
When your citizenship card is a point of pride, after all it took you four years to earn it...
When your favourite artist is Frank Sinatra's Clone...
When you tell campfire horror stories of roaming hippies and SOCIALISM at the Annual Scout Camping Trip...
When your definition of taking things fast is having sex the day after you get engaged....
When you ask for welfare and they hand you a shovel.....
When life seems vaguely like a 1950's esque futuristic dreamworld....

[Israslovakahzerbajan]

You know if you're Israslovakahzerbajannian if...
-you love red meat
-you love white meat
-you love meat in different shapes
-you even love byproduct
-you can live off caffeine
-you think the desert is normal
-you like beans
-you love dairy
-you like anime
-you like manga
-you are a hothead
-you love VOLKSWAGEN and hate Hummers.

[Alexlantis]

You know you're a Rhodmhirian if...

...you're a 60s-80s musical Nazi.
...you do most of your worship on Forum 7.
...you only elect politicians into office so you can vote them out a month later.
...you find yourself being constantly raped in the night.
...your wallet is full of CDS, apples, fancy suits, and other random objects.
...your dog has more rights than your wife.
...your favorite sport is beating the sports players with sticks.
...you're not different.

Nice.

[Padullahstan]

You might be Padullahstani if...

(Armed Forces)
...You can't spell your own name but you can tell someone every part of your army issued weapon and assemble it in 20 seconds blindfolded.
...You feel everything the Supreme President says should be heard by all.
...You have Padüllahstan içün zöufir tatooed on you somewhere.
...You have thought of handing over your family to the authorities being not being patriotic enough.
...You are skilled at forceful interrogation.
...You make people questioning the state in anyway disappear.
...You enjoy bring terror to non-Padullahstani people.
...You like fire and burning things.
...You enjoy following orders, no matter how ridiculous.


(General Populace)
...You've had at least 2 family members disappear in the middle of the night.
...You can remember when the Republic was actually a republic.
...You love poetry and reading of the great poets.
...You feel like you're being watched all the time (and most likely are correct).
...You go through ridiculous ends to earn money.
...You've likely sold a kidney to earn money.
...You view the rest of the world as barbarians.
...You don't know what communists are, only that they are red and have horns.
...You view whale meat as a delicacy.
...You are very faithful to the gods and have a shrine in your house to a particular deity.
...You could careless what goes on in the rest of the world as long as you can survive through the day.
...You have been questioned by the police.
...You are afraid of doing simple tasks for fear of criticism of a governemnt official.
...You are not surprised by extreme weather, cold or hot.
...You hearing or rape or police brutality is common.
...You don't feel the phrase "extreme corruption" would adequately describe the Padullahstani government.
...You regularlyassume that you will end up in prison when you wake up next morning.
...You regularly assume you will not live to see the sun set again.

[Jankenjin]

You know you're Jankenjin when...

...you have to introduce your wife AND your husband to the party hostess.
...you're expecting, and when someone asks "Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?" you just face-palm.
...other people have family trees. You have family kudzu.
...your favorite series of romance novels has been banned as obscene in 95% of the known nations.
...people act surprised that you don't have an Aussie accent.
...other nation's restrooms confuse you. Your restrooms terrify other nations.

[Achalya Santis]

You know you are Achalsantinian if...
--you celebrate the day of the Candelaria with bonfires in your backyard, then paying the repairs.
--you complain about your weight after the holidays (Nov.-early Jan.)
--think that the three kings were Achalsantinian.
--try your best to prove that you do not have African ancestry. (Most Achalsantinians will always have African ancestry.)
--think Waleska Serrano was murdered by knife, not poisoned.
--think "Aleluya" is the main recipe for success. (It is!)
--you have a Martinica rum and Golden beer in your pantry.
--think that Corolans are snooty jerks.
--think that the rest of the Achalsantinians are fire-bred buffoons.
--your daughter's middle name is "Marie".
--your daughter's name is "Francheska" or "Franchesca", born from 1995-1997.
--your son's name is "José"

[Zwangzug]

Hmm, some of this I've posted before on Jolt, but I guess I'm due for an update...too much to retcon! I'm using these as my basis.

If you're Zwangzugian...

You probably consider yourself both meritocratic and egalitarian. And don't see anything weird about that.
You know Dila10, Bigtopians Say The Darndest Things, The Brash and the Backstabbing, and whatever's on WorldVision. You wish they hadn't taken Ricelands and Nicelands off the air.
You know how baseball is played and get into long statistical debates about it.
...If you're over a certain age, you probably know a lot about football (soccer) too.
...Nobody is really sure what that age is.
You might believe in God, but you might not.
...Either way, you're quite conscious of your identity as religious or non-religious: that is to say, if you identify as a member of a religion that conducts regular worship services, you regularly go to those services.
You probably live in an apartment.
...You might own it.
...which gives you the right to paint it ridiculous colors.
...You're very proud of this right.
...But don't aspire to own your own building.
You don't consider insects, dogs, cats, monkeys, or guinea pigs to be food.
...Human meat is a delicacy
...If the proper bureaucracy has taken place, that is.
You're not convinced that private airlines are a totally good idea.
...but you've ridden in one.
...You did not go through a security check.
You live within ten minutes on foot from a train station.
...in the worst-case scenario, way out in the country.
...You weren't surprised by measuring distance in units of time.
You find a parliamentary government is the natural system.
...but there are still two comparatively large parties.
...Who are far closer than they admit.
When you go to vote, you might bring a "cheat sheet" that lists the candidates in the order your party wants you to vote for them (so that someone else good is elected if they're eliminated in the instant runoff).
...Your party will not admit that this list exists.
You expect to hear communism, capitalism, and everything in between defended.
...Loudly.
Bigtopians, Littletopians, Lilliputians...you know they're different ethnicities, but you couldn't tell them apart.
..."Namirite" is an ethnicity unless you are one, in which case you can easily name many subdivisions.
You take a just court system for granted.
...despite the lack of crime.
You speak more than one language.
...and can write in distinct dialects of English.
If your town is small enough, everyone speaks the same language at home.
...and English when they visit another city.
You think a tax level of 90% is scandalously low.
School is free through high school.
...and might as well be in college.
...which lasts four years.
Some eighth-graders can vote.

Everybody knows that...

The date comes second: 10/19/66.
...the date rings a bell, but you aren't sure why.
The decimal point is a dot. Otherwise it wouldn't be a point.
A billion is a thousand times a million.
A "just war" is an oxymoron. That civil unrest thing that happened, uh...well, probably before '66 or whenever...might have led to some nice things (or maybe not?) but the ends probably don't justify the means. Whatever they were.
Marriages are made for love. You can get married by a judge or in a church.
...as per above, your religion will probably be the deciding factor here.
...Your spouse's gender doesn't matter.
...But you'd never have more than one.
Once you're introduced to someone, you call them by their first name.
Public nudity is illegal.
...because it's just too cold.
A hotel room has a private bathroom.
Bribes are a ridiculous idea.
There's really no need to carry currency around.
Labor Day is May 1.
...but only really weird people make a big deal of it.

Contributions to world civilization?

You know Negative Zero and the Neoreactionaries. If not, you know (of) Anton Magrit.
You count on excellent health care.
...public, of course.
You've barely studied any history.
Military? What military?

Around and about

Unemployment will always be high.
Christmas is in the winter.
...but you don't celebrate it unless you're Christian.
A state church is a ridiculous idea.
You could identify maybe five countries on an unmarked map.
...unless you're a big sports fan.
It's the government's job to be a last-resort safety net.
...with rather small holes.
You keep your appointments to the minute.
...because you'd never get anywhere if you didn't.
Given your economic beliefs, you're surprisingly individualistic...
...and don't trust lists that claim to describe everything about you just because of where you were born.

[Cameroi]

you know you're cameroi if you children don't even look like they're from the same species as each other, and you can't really tell for sure what gender they are or if they even have any.

... the train your on stops in the middle of no where to let a local herbivour graze on the tracks for an hour before proceeding and no one even cares or worries about it. nor is anyone surprised by this when you arrive at work.

... you know better not to leave the booth you borrowed at the craftufaturing center untidied before you leave.

... you think nothing of trading a nice warm blanket for a grav-sled at the local mathom house.
or doing the exact reverse either.

... no one gives a dam about what you keep, but are only impressed by what you give everyone else.

... no one notices what you're wearing or if you're even wearing anything. unless you get a really bad case of sunburn or poison oak.

... no one sleeps in the middle of the sidewalk because that would be impolite, but no one objects to sleeping under a nearby tree.

... you meet some old friends and stay over night at their place, which is a platform in a tree with walls that are bookshelves made out of old packing cases.

... the train stops and lets you on when you're walking along beside it wearing only an old blanket.

... your hindpaws have retractable claws, just like your forepaws.

... the national poet lauriate types on a solar powered keyboard while hanging from the limb of a tree by his prehensile tail.

... no one disturbs them nor gets upset when young people are having sex, in church.

... wild animals frequently visit your house and come and go freely, but know better then to "leave messess" inside. sometimes they curl up next to you on top of your bed and go do sleep.

... no one gets alarmed or makes a big production out of it if they or someone they know gets bitten by them.

... the last time anyone died or got seriously ill as a result was 25 years ago.

... the last time you got bit yourself it hurt like hell at the time, but it had completely healed and not even a scar remained three days later.

[Uawc]

You know you're a Union citizen when...

...you have several guns which serve as "compensation", especially when said compensation is entirely unnecessary

...you use the words "Communism" and "Communist" synonymously with "freedom", "fairness", and any other positive thing. (i.e.) Dude, that shotgun is so Communist!

...you don't go hungry yet you sympathize with those who do

...you say "capitalist pig" every time someone asks you what you had for breakfast

...you make references to gulags even though none exist in the UAWC

...you prefer riding a horse to driving a Ferrari Enzo

...you get in legal trouble or deported when visiting other countries due to endless campaigning for socialism and violence against anyone insulting the UAWC

...you like cookies.

[Alpinistan]

You know you are in the Matriarchy of Alpinistan when...

... you are female and view males as toys, pets or working animals.
... you are male and got no real rights beside the ones also counting towards animal rights.
... you adore nature and envroiment.
... guns and weapon training is compulsory.
... you ride giant lasereye squirrels as sport or hobby.
... view nuclear power and weapons with great suspiction.
... drugs you ever heard of are in a law to forbid them, medical use or its just about alcohol.
... you know at least one family member working in the arms manufacturing sector of the state or a small private company.
... you prefer renewable energy like hydro, solar and windpower
... you cannot see the horizont unless you are on a mountaintop.
... know saltwater beaches only from holidays in foreign countries.
... you speak and write in bajuvarian and see german as your first foreign language.
... you are most likely agnostic, nihilistic or plain atheist and dont care much about religious institutions.
... you love the Grand Matriarch Rhenaya... or will be dead soon.

[Fatatatutti]

You know you're in Fatatatutti when you go to Tim Horton's for coffee and find a prominent Cabinet Minister working from the corner table instead of his office in a mini-mall next to a BunsMaster Bakey. (It is not known why all of the Tim Hortons in Fatatatutti only have one corner.)

[The Ambrose Islands]

You know you are an Ambrosian when...

You want to sleep with the queen.
You have slept with the queen.
Chocolate is not a dessert to you, it's a body paint.
You look at a couple making out and decide to join them.
They have no problem with you joining them.
You think that "matrimony" is some type of butter.
You think brown eyes are sexy and exotic, as you've only seen them on foreigners.
You get worried if two days go day without some kind of party happening.
You had a pet dragon as a kid.
You're a veteran...and so is your dad, your mom, your brother, your sister, your grandma, your grandpa, your aunt, your uncle, your five cousins, your girlfriend, her dad, her mom, her little sister...

[Ramsetia]

You know you're Ramset when;

You've ridden a whole building like it was an elevator.
You're only half-human, but treated with far more respect than your parent who was mated by a disco dice.
You've never set foot in a natural body of water. And you're 83 years old.
You've not once seen the ocean, despite working at a busy cargo port
You wonder why nobody else has subterranean cities like Renaissance
Your house is run and maintained by a rampant AI who's trying to kill your spouse and take their place
You're a clone.
You see a man with intricate and well-arranged viking braids coating his face, and realise you just walked past your local senator
You use your religion as an excuse to drink while at work
You laugh at someone who thinks they need an excuse to drink at work
You're either of the school of thought that your gods were completely messed up, or so strict it hurt.
You've wondered out loud more than once why foreign airlines insist on those big space-wasting wings on their jets
You're eagerly awaiting the Empress'es visit to your city's bars, because she's a great table dancer.
You laugh loudly when someone mentions the words 'closed' and 'relationship' in the same sentence
You've slept with a high school teacher in order to get a better grade.
You've been failed by that same teacher for being a horrible lay
You think it's cheating when anyone attacks someone else without a shield of some kind
You don't have a driver's license, but you're instructor-rated on eight different models of personal aircraft
You find the two-lane roads running through the middle of foreign nations to be a waste of space
You own your own zeppelin

[Hogusho]

You know youre a Hogushan when:

As a small child steered a police motorboat,
Was urinated upon by a Bengal Tiger
When your friends put embarrasing videos of you on YouTube
When your dad lets you drive his car without a drivers lisence
When you have frozen the tires of your mom's car
When you are able to pull of a turtleneck with an afro
When you were assaulted by a racoon after you wanted to pet it

( PS Some of these are what happened to me, its up to you to guess which one.)

[Peterbolton]

You know you're a Boltonnian when...
-Many people confuse you for a Canadian or American
-Not only is Skye Sweetnam the most awesome singer ever, she's your country's queen
-If someone calls you gay, you just say "thanks"
-No one you know listens to mainstream rap music
-It's hard to believe that where you live was once rural
-Foreigners either love or hate you when you tell them where you're from
-Hearing a 5 year old say the f word is no big deal to you
-Saying the N word or f** is against your ways, and anyone who does say it is probably a foreigner
-0C is only "a little cold" to you
-You laugh at your neighbours to the south when they come to your country wearing 20 layers
-You consider yourself a true music warrior
-Even though you're country is the youngest in the world, you are a big fan of anything quaint
-It's Grade 12, not 12th grade (or senior year)
-You're shocked if you meet anyone who is religious of some sort
-You use the term "homo milk"
-You look down a little on those who try to be "normal"
-Know at least 2 languages fluently
-Believe in live and let live
-Look down on those who are control freaks
-You can throw a rock and hit three coffee places
-Whenever a foreigner asks where the nearest Starbucks is you're response is either "Can't remember, google it" or "Starbucks? Eww..."
-You can't remember the last time you ate at McDonalds
-You can't remember the last time you saw someone smoke a cigarette
-But you've lost count of how many times you've seen someone smoke weed
-You love to be stylish, but in your own way, and you only consider name brands when it comes to quality
-You think sport is generally dumb, unless it's soccer or hockey
-You drive an all wheel drive car
-Your view of America: That place would suck if places like San Francisco, Seattle, New York didn't exist
-You can't remember the last time you saw a smoggy day in your country, even a big city
-You can't remember the last time you went to wal-mart
-You've switched from heat to A/C in the same day
-You could survive wearing shorts in 10C
-You can't remember the last time you saw someone who was overweight
-Money is irrelevant to you...
-You know several swear words in other languages
-The only reason you watch Hollywood Gossip shows is to make fun of the mainstream

[Imeriata]

You know you are an Imerian when…
-your father wakes you up one morning informing you that you are getting married and this is the first you heard of it.
-you don´t even get the most apparent references to sex.
-you think it is inappropriate to make out in public.
-you believe that it is inappropriate to don´t cover ones entire body except the head and hands.
-You are always carrying a knife or a sword.
-you consider every temperature above 30 degrees Celsius to hot.
-you consider that walking out and discover that the snow reaches to your stomach to be a minor inconvenience.
-you consider 12 years olds to be ready to be treated as adults.
-you believe that mustaches and beards from 1800 and 1900 are cool.
-you consider a tunic a male garment.
-you consider rotten fish to be eatable.

[Anachnu]

You know you are an Anachnun

when:

1. There's something wrong with your nose
2. You definitely have someone in your family named Shlomo, Moshe, David, or Yose
3. You have at least two mobile phones
4. Your mother has the key to your apartment but not your lover
5. You have seen more cops in a mall than customers
6. You start crying when you receive your tax back sheets
7. Your very first word was Shekel or Shkalim and not mom or dad
8. You huddle your rifle on weekends instead of your lover because the army called you out of bed for reservists excercises.
9. You try to get to the city center by car instead of the metro
10. Your mother calls you "bubile"
11. You found your big love in the army or navy
12. You find it strange when somone is singing 99 Luftballons just for fun

[Birnadia]

You know you are Birnadi when....

-You eat Marmite everyday.
-You've legally changed your name to Derek Leslie Norton Internet Security Smith.
-You're allergic to Internet Explorer 6
-You can speak 3 or more languages fluently
-You're watching Top Gear all the time.
-You keep thinking the sky is falling.
-No-one cares if you're wearing your shirt the wrong way round.

and...

-Whenever you say the word "mincemeat", you get money.