You know you are...

[Epicnopolis]

I'm redoing mine. -.-

[Southern Yugoslavia]

You know you're a Southern Yugoslav when...
-You live in Southern Yugoslavia
-You can buy military-grade guns as a civilian with written consent from the government.
-Smoking and drinking are outlawed.
-You're a Republican
-You love your country to the point if someone insults it, you beat the crap out of them, and the police let you do it.
-You see police officers armed with AK-47s.
-Live near an Air Force, Army, or Naval base.
-Have gone through at least one air raid or artillery barrage.
-Seen enemy soldiers die on your street.
-Probably have served at least two years in the military.
-Own a weapon.
-Own a car.
-Went through a firefight and survived.
-10% of your country's population are immigrants.
-Your borders are guarded by armed Immigration Control agents.
-Seen a public execution.

[Niur]

You are a Niuran when:
-You have lived in Niur
-you scoff at the concept of a car
-you have seen a furry stripper
-you have seen an actually furry stripper (Mesai)
-you laugh at how much people in other nations pay for stupid things like cars, and cigerettes and Private buisnesses...
-you have a full time months wage of 90,000 No-uks, and pay 85,000 in taxes.
-you have seen more forests than you heve seen houses.

[RightWingChristians]

You know your Wingman when...

You wake up every morning to go to Mass
Your brother was ran over by an M2 Bradley on the way
Your cousin compares his M14 with the principals at school
Your not sure where the "Ocean" is
You've never heard of non-Abrahamic Religions
You don't know how to drive
Your upset that the girl next door married the other guy before you
You got lost on the way to the store in a sandstorm

More to come!

[Xcaltzao]

you know you're Xcaltzaan when...

...you can't pronounce the name of your country without omitting half the letters
...you don't know the meaning of the word "meaning"
...the last question you ever asked was "What happens if we ask questions?"
...it's quicker to say your serial number than your actual name
...you have to pay oxygen tax
...the Bible is in the Fiction section of the library
...you think that Fascism is a relatively fair system of government
...bird migrations risk death from exhaustion by diverting 300 miles to avoid your country
...you have to pay for free speech
...you paint your house gray for a spot of color

[Alexlantis]

You know you are Alexlantian when...
*You think rap is crap, and that you invented the phrase "rap is crap"
*You drink Mate all the time and can't imagine why people would drink any other non-alcoholic beverage (other than water)
*You listen to Alternative Rock and Punk so much that any other type of music other than lullabies are alien to you
*You love the Emperor but hate whoever is elected, even if you voted for them, and wish one of the other cantidates had been picked
*You laugh at almost anything and have a wide sense of humor
*You love cake and cookies.
*You've either successfully launched a rocket high enough that it went through a cloud or successfully blown all the feathers off a chicken with an explosion, also roasting said chicken with said explosion
*Foreigners think that you're extremely "unique" and fun at best, crazy and naturally high at worst
*You aren't very religious at all, but still go to your place of worship regularly.
*You consider air hockey a sport.

[Cameroi]

you know you're cameroi if your name isn't the one your parents gave you at birth but was determined in a ritual around the time of puberty by rolling a pair of eight sided dice four times after praying to the big, friendly, invisible god of strangeness

ykyc if you wished you could psionically rearrainge your thumb print because you'd like to try something different from the once a day vending machine at your transit stop then the one you picked.

ykyc if, on your way to somewhere, you wish the little train you're on would be stopped by some creature stepping in front of it, so you could watch it play a little longer before it stepped out of the way and you continued.

ykyc if you actually enjoy getting lost, and do so frequently for the sole sake of enjoying strange new places, or even seeing familiar ones from unfamiliar perspectives.

ykyc if the first thing you did after moving to a new village or neighborhood, was to ride every kind of transit system that stopped there and made note of what was at each place each of them also stopped.

ykyc if you know more then one scenic shortcut to every place you have reason to frequently visit.

[The Pan-Soviet Union]

You know you are Pan-Soviet when....

- You know how to disassemble, assemble and fire any weapon within fifteen seconds.
- You learnt this from when you were a toddler.
- You own an AK-47
- You know how to drive and use a tank.
- You know how to kill someone from 1000 paces and with your little finger.
- You have an excessive fascination with violence.
- You are either a full-time, part-time, or retired member of The Red Army/Navy/Air Force.
- Vodka is drank instead of water, and with less care and concerns about pollution.
- You smoke.
- you think anyone who has not been a punch-up is abnormal.
- a woman is expected to be either muscular and manly looking or a beauty to behold.
- You believe General Secretary Vladislav Lebedev is the greatest man alive, and a heroic leader.
- You believe anyone who criticises General Secretary Vladislav Lebedev should be 'annihilated' as a matter of course.
- You fully expect a magnificent statue of General Secretary Vladislav Lebedev to be present in a public place or military base.
- A portrait of General Secretary Vladislav Lebedev and the Pan-Soviet Union flag hangs in your house.
- You raise a glass to General Secretary Vladislav Lebedev, and tell your children to be like him.
- You secretly wish your dad was General Secretary Vladislav Lebedev
- You are told by your mother that he is.
- Minus 30 centigrades is considered 'warm'
- The Red Army Choir is your favourite type of music.
- Imperialists/Fascists/Capitalists/ Seperatists/Nationalists/Terrorists are considered all fair game and should be shot on sight, and then shot again and again and again for good measure.
- 'The Fist of Solidarity' is not just a salute but a move to SMASH people with.
- You think anyone who is not Pan-Soviet are pampered softies to be mocked or scum who should be crushed without mercy.
- You can sing the Hymn of The Pan-Soviet Union backwards, and standing on one leg and balancing a unpinned grenade on your head and surviving.
- You believe anyone who defaces the flag should be strung up by their nether regions, beaten, shot, and set fire to.
- You like to wrestle bears bare-chested.
- You can smash bricks on your chest.

[Qazox]

...in Qazox when:

A temproal disruption sends your nation back in time 113 years.

You have important people just dissapear, and re-appear randomly.

You find out that you are immortal, but lost it upon contact with "normal space-time".

You fail to win a World Cup, or even reach a semifinals after 22 attempts.

You see 13-month calendarseverywhere.

You're surrounded by naked people, who don't care that they are naked, and wonder why you aren't.

You only use QSPN.com for all you sports needs.

You only have Q Dish Network as a cable/satellite provider.

You find Oxen being worshipped and wombats killed. (Though it has fallen off quite a bit lately)

You find remnants of the warp bomb 22 years later.

You don't remember a time before 1880, other than sporadic historic lists.

[Arkinesia]

You know you're Arkinesian when...

- You find yourself yearning for Cape Austin...because of the gray rocks and the fog.
- You realize half of your house is white, in trying to keep with the styling of the capital. Including your personal computer.
- You find jokes about multiple committees impossible to comprehend.
- You don't find only one candidate in some positions to be dictatorial.
- Anything that is good in your mind suddenly turns blue. Or white.
- You see a person shorter than yourself, and begin to assume they're from "down there".
- You watch TV and see a military parade, and realize that none of the parades are from Arkinesia.
- You realize that almost every product in your home or office contains an 'A'.
- You come to the point where you forget why places are named after individuals, but not monuments.
- You suddenly realize that Arkinesia has no monuments.
- You take a trip down south for a week and suddenly, when you get back home up north, everything is really cold.

[Altane]

You know you're an Altanian when...
- Pray twice or more a day
- You take the Pledge of Loyalty and Allegiance at least once a day
- Have a relative serving in either the Public Service, Police Force, or the Military Service
- Shun and dislike anyone who denounces the Monarchy or the Emperor
- Enjoy parades, celebrations, national holidays, public floggings of criminals.
- When you commit a crime grow SO insanely paranoid knowing the Police have eyes and ears everywhere you give yourself up to save the suspense.
- Watch religious mass at home on Sundays on the 'Altane Christian Channel (ACC)'
- Attend parties thrown by the local Aristocrats
- Your xenophobic about the outside world after long years inside an isolated country
- You have a romantic story on how you met your fiance/partner even if you made it up
- Have at least fought a duel once in pubic fun of it and more in the name of honor

[Verdeguay]

You know you are a Verdeguayan if...

...you have ever had to bribe a police officer before.
...you consider people who wake up after 6:00 A.M. to be "late risers."
...you shop regularly or semi-regularly in the black market.
...you have never used the Internet.
...you have at least one family member living in exile.
...you use the word "Communist" as if it was a swear word.
...you own at least two shirts with holes in them.
...you are both a burningly devout Catholic but also faithfully follow indigenous pre-Columbian rituals, and see no contradiction between the two.
...you have ever eaten roasted capybara.
...you litter at least once a day.
...you believe that homosexuality is either a myth or a decadent practice introduced by foreigners and "practiced" only by "Communists."
...you view people that earn more than the equivalent of 3 U.S. dollars a day as well-to-do.
...you are more apt to notice the color of a person's shirt than the color of his skin.
...you keep conspicuously clean no matter how poor you are.
...you cannot name more than three other countries.
...you use the words "prostitute" and "politician" synonymously.
...you catch food-borne diarrhea at least 2-3 times per month.
...you will share with others, regardless of how little you have, unless you have plenty to give.

[Joyous Zeltros]

You know you're a Zeltron when...

-You think monogamy is some kind of furniture.
-You're actually surprised by people who only like one gender.
-You feel compelled to make people happy, because you can't be happy if they're not.
-The idea of scoring a private tryst with the King or Queen seems normal to you.
-If there's not a party going on, you'll start one.
-If there is a party going on, you're in the middle of it.
-You routinely write, read and hear stories, poetry and songs that make non-Zeltrons blush.
-Your idea of art is routinely classified as near-pornographic by others.
-You know you don't need to match clothing colours, because rainbow is fun.
-You wonder why other people wear so much.
-You're easily distracted by - ooh, shiny!

[Prazinia 2]

-You check everything around your house whenever you wake up for bugs and wiretaps.

-You suspect your best friend is involved in a global conspiracy to create a New World Order.

-You believe in every Christian conspiracy theory you see in the Internet.

-You douse shotgun shells with holy water.

-You wear a garlic necklace when going out at night.

-You have a nearly pyromaniac desire to get your hands in a flamethrower.

-You have received an unexpected visitation by the Inquisition at least once.

[Area Sixty-Nine]

You know you've been assigned to Area Sixty-Nine too long when...

-You have received a message that stated it would self-destruct
-You were grievously injured when you ignored this warning
-You have used the phrase "If I told you, I'd have to kill you", with a completely straight face, and meant every word of it
-The last one-night stand you had occurred because the woman became incredibly turned on when she asked your name and you said, "That's classified"
-You use your parkour training to avoid traffic/get to work on time
-You own contact lenses and hair dye in every conceivable color for your race
-The first thing you do when entering an unfamiliar room is check the number and locations of exits and prioritize them based on stealth and convenience
-You have entered a room so discreetly that your best friend didn't realize you were sitting right next to him until you spoke
-Your wife/girlfriend has mistaken you for an intruder and tried to kill you
-You could confirm the existence of extraterrestrial life, but you're fairly sure that once you started to actually do so a sniper would take you out
-Your family doesn't know what you do for a living, but to be fair you're kind of in the dark about what they get up to as well
-"Defensive driving" means making sure you're not being followed
-You have used a knife to extract information from somebody
-You get aroused watching the dentist scene in The Marathon Man
-Your driver's license is redacted
-You not only know where the bodies are buried, but put some of them there yourself
-You have nailed a target with a throwing knife from the window of the building across the street
-You have hacked into another country's defense network just because you were bored
-You were especially bored that day, so you uploaded pornography to said defense network
-You don't particularly like the country you hacked, so it was gay and/or shemale porn

[Grand France]

You know you are from Grand France when...

It frightens you how much faith some foreigners are willng to place in government

Mind you, you have faith in government, too, but, ...it's not the good kind of faith

Political parties scare you, and make you laugh at the same time

You know the names of all the political officials in your national government

You own at least three firearms

Everybody seems to think you must be a coward, and you're not quite sure why

You own at least one beret, and you don't give a damn what people think when you put it on!

You like going to restaurants just to watch tourists get buzzed on the cheap house wine

Income tax as a concept infuriates you, and you'd kill the first local politician to suggest one

Military service runs in at least three generations of your family...on both sides

[Fatatatutti]

You know you're Fatatatutian when:

- the local church has a bake sale to buy a tank for the Army and

- they raise enough money in one day and

- you find the tank parked on your lawn the next morning.

You know you're Fatatatutian when:

- the Foreign Minister's office is next to a Bunsmaster bakery but

- he doesn't know where it is, so

- he does all of his work at the local Tim Horton's.

You know you're Fatatatutian when:

- you're still hungry after lunch so you go to a soup kitchen and

- the Prime Minister is sitting beside you because

- he gave his lunch to somebody who was hungrier than he was.

[Grays Harbor]

You know you are Harberian if you ...
... get confused when other nations citizens react angrily towards your attitudes towards them
... are somewhat condescending towards anybody not Harberian
... believe that Seafood is a seperate and equal food group to every other meat
... lose all manner of perspective if "your" team is in the Harbor Cup Finals
... believe that maintaining your family and peronal honour is paramount
... believe that coffee is not a breakfast drink, but a staple of life
... find other nations "reality TV" slightly boring and quite confusing, and are very glad that HBC does not run such shows
... think that most colonials belong in sitcoms
... believe fishing is a science, not just a hobby

[Tezdrian]

You know you are Tezdrianian if...
...You think hip hop is a acrobatic manuever.
...You bought your second wife from the internet.
...Your third one as well.
...You wake up 5:00am everyday to get your slaves and serfs ready for work.
...You consider being left-handed is a mental illness.
...You have killed or mortally wounded someone with a bastard sword.
...You have 2 dozen children, yet signed all your inheritance to your son-in-law with the promising military career.
...You wear a monocle, even if you do not need one.
...You refuse to remove your bayonet from your rifle.
...You will be outraged if your Gin and Tonic is not served on the rocks.
...You will become murderously outraged if the Tonic is carbonated water.
...You go big game hunting on a weekly basis.
...You think Video games are for pussies.
...You just know that 'Communist' is a curseword.
...You subscribe to Fascist Daily.
...You watch porn daily.

[Osarius]

You know you're Osarian when...

...your foreign friend on the Internet says he has a cousin who just got out of jail and you ask if there were traffic jams.
...you've never seen a movie which didn't star Alphonse Marlowe.
...you speak several languages but only use them to swear at authority figures.
...you check your email once a day and it always takes over two hours to clear out the spam.
...almost everyone you know works in book publishing or education.
...you have fought your next door neighbour over whose turn it is to have a shower.
...you hate cheese, but have no good reason for it.
...your favourite meal contains phoenix in some shape or form.
...you are hauled off in handcuffs for "unlicensed trading" when offering to sell your old television to your cousin.
...you are told to "sit on the naughty step" when arrested by police.

[GraySoap]

You know you are an inhabitant of Gray Soap when...

...you never knew that there was a government until you were drafted.
...you were birthed, raised, and educated by "International Child Raising Services, Inc."
...vending machines will accept an IOU
...you refer to drinking fountains as "Whites"
...you learned English from advertisements.
...you eat at a new restaurant because a strange voice compelled you to do so.
...you walk by homeless people and mutter "Lazy communist."
...homeless say "Change?" constantly. You then shoot them in the face with your new "9mm SUPERCHARGED TURBO MAGNUM AUTOMATIC BLOWBACK PISTOL EXTREME COLLECTOR'S EDITION!".
...you throw stones at wandering salesmen.
...churches look like the McDonald's arch.
...mosques look like a Taco Bell.
...synagogues look like a Coca Cola can.
...atheists are routinely referred to as "Cult leaders" in the media.
...recycling is assumed to mean reloading and then firing a weapon.
...Jesus regularly endorses new products.
...Mohamed is a popular cartoon character.
...defaulting on a loan is considered worse than murder.
..."public park" is synonymous with "prison".

[Old Tyrannia]

You know you are Tyrannian when...

-You love the Emperor
-You hate everyone else
-The word 'democracy' brings you out in a rash
-You think execution is a welcome alternative to being thrown in jail
-Communism=Evil
-Nazism=Evil²
-You know their is a hidden camera right behind you

[Eldar Ulthwe]

You know you're from Eldar Ulthwe when...

...the idea of using psychic powers to shape substances into buildings seems perfectly normal.
...you're disgusted by the sight of most human architecture.
...you're outright offended if you're called an Elf, even though you do have pointed ears.
...you consider yourself and your people innately superior to anyone else.
...you have a firm wish to eradicate every single idiotic cultist of SlaaneshShe Who Thirsts.
...you never go anywhere without your spirit-stone, lest you die without it and have your soul eaten.
...you've undergone multiple occupations as Paths, and view anybody trying to do them all at once as dangerously undisciplined.
...you'd cheerfully condemn a hundred non-Eldar to death in order to preserve a single Eldar life.
...you have a hard time not referring to humans as Mon-keigh, and frequently you just say it anyway.
...your leaders can see the future, and act accordingly.
...you just know Eldrad Ulthran is alive, somehow, and will return one day.
...other races seem like violent, barbaric children to you, meddling where they shouldn't.
...even when you're wrong, you were right on some level... or so you insist, at least.
...you shun anything that smacks of depravity.
...you have a slightly obsessive fondness for wearing crystals, and have imbued them with special properties just to have an excuse to do so. ("This one helps me concentrate!")
...you still don't get why those insolent humans refuse to acknowledge your superiority.

[The Children of Mama]

You know you're a Child of Mama when...

• your name sounds like a cell phone ring tone.
• you walk into a bar and wonder why the bartender doesn't have your drink waiting for you, since you've been thinking about it for a half hour now.
• taxicabs address you by name when they pull up to the curb next to you. Not the driver--the cab itself.
• you think tinfoil hats are instruments of torture.
• you think "Nightmare on Elm Street" means Elm Street lost its wifi connection.
• humans insist you're a "catgirl" or "catboy", even though you're nothing at all like a cat except for those silly ears.
• humans want to either hug you or make you die in a fire.
• Sometimes both.
• humans look like giant shambling zombies to you.
• your great-grandfather insists he can still drive a mecha even though he needs power-assisted limbs these days, and complains that Library Detail is a waste of his potential.
• your life-aura is looking a bit ragged today. Better go see a doctor.
• your pod-mates' life-auras are looking ragged too. Time to order carryout, as your pod is going to be under quarantine for a while.
• Mama overrules your carryout order and has a medically sound dinner delivered. It's good for you.
• other beings send flowers to their girlfriend when they're away on her birthday. You send her a foot-massage.
• you were sure the cute Wood Child that grew up with you in your nurture pod would eventually be your mate, but Mama had other plans, and well, Fire Children can be cute too.
• you and your significant other compete to see who can pass their Maturity tests first, and then complain when Mama insists you wait an additional couple of years before you are permitted to mate.
• your significant other is getting paid to be pregnant. You're putting in overtime because Mama says your significant other needs the extra favors to reserve a nurture-pod for the baby.
• you wonder why there are no grey Children when you've seen white-furred Iron Children and black-furred Water Children receive breeding permits.
• You have a personal SEP field that keeps people from noticing when you do something rude in public.
• Your significant other has one, too, but folks complain when the two of you try to make out in public.
• A week later, you and your significant other make out while you're a hundred miles apart. No one notices. SEP fields are fun.
• Someone tells you, "oh grow up!" and you think they want you to drop dead.

[Rethan]

You know you are Rethast when:

• You strangle your own mother because she complained about the government not allowing citizens own cars
• You tell a tourist she died in her sleep, and that you prayed for her immortal soul in heaven
• You own a gun, too many bullets and keep it hidden from foreigners.
• You inwardly plan the death of a foreigner while smiling at them politely
• You wake up to the sound of your government-issue newscaster telling you how much better off you are under the new government.
• You take a bullet for a soldier or police officer
• You think genocide is a suitable measure to eradicate enemies.

Or FT:

• You wake up coughing up black fluid that has a slight blue glow to it.
• You wonder why it's not glowing brighter
• You think humans are the lowest form of life
• You think it's okay to be someone's pet nation if you're safe (if you're part of the Neophyte Movement)
• You think everyone should bow before you or be enslaved (if you're a part of the Archaic Movement)
• You think the majority of your fellow Rethast should die in a firestorm while you nuke all other life out of existence (if you;re a member of the Underreik)
• You think straight vodka tastes like water