You know you are...

by **Hellestia** » Sun Oct 17, 2010 12:11 am

You know you're a Hellestine if you work as a banker.

by **Old Erisia** » Sun Oct 17, 2010 12:13 am

You know you are an Erisian if you are a plant.

by **Sungai Pusat** » Sun Oct 17, 2010 12:17 am

Old Erisia wrote:You know you are an Erisian if you are a plant.

Weird.

by **Old Erisia** » Sun Oct 17, 2010 12:20 am

Sungai Pusat wrote:
Old Erisia wrote:You know you are an Erisian if you are a plant.

Weird.

Yup. Chlorophyll 4 lyfe.

by **Olthar** » Sun Oct 17, 2010 12:25 am

You know you are Oltharian when...
...Wait, are you forming an independent thought there, citizen 6595-12-447? That's against the law. *shot repeatedly*

by **Hellestia** » Sun Oct 17, 2010 12:26 am

You know you're a Hellestine if you use baby powder and lotion after a shower/bathing.

by **Gimmadonis** » Sun Oct 17, 2010 12:47 am

You know you're a Gimmad if...

... You finished high school by any age over 17, and people refer you as "underprivileged"
... Your reliance on technology over personal skill, despite all the "Aesop" stories, never seems to backfire
... Someone saying the words "blue" and "screen" causes your knees to shiver
... Your lack of care for Gimmadonis' environment is only exceeded by your lack of care for everyone else's

by **Cirona** » Sun Oct 17, 2010 2:05 am

by **Inutoland** » Sun Oct 17, 2010 2:31 pm

The whole thing is pretty long

. It's at the end of the "Culture Test" link in my sig.

Selected highlights:
If you're an Inutolander...
* You believe deep down in the elected monarchy system as combining the best of the monarchical and democratic decisions. It's good, it works, and it's in tune with the way things were traditionally done for hundreds, if not thousands of years.
* You are either a Comahi (Homo sapiens), a Puruhi (H. floresiensis) or a Nandahi (H. neanderthalensis), but whichever you are, you're Human.
* You believe you live in the most beautiful nations on the face of the earth: warm tropical seas, gorgeous white sandy beaches, powerful rivers, pristine high mountain lakes and mile after mile of verdant rainforest.
* You know how to swim, and do so almost as well as you walk.
* You go to temple for all the major rituals, but don't make too much of a fuss about religion.
* You bathe at least three times a day. More, if you can.
* You consider certain insects, monkeys, guinea pigs, ground sloths, Macrauchenia, giant hutia, ducks and curassows to be food, but you've never seen a cow outside of a zoo and you think eating one is a bit disturbing.
* A bathroom has a bathtub in it, or more likely, a small but fully-fledged swimming pool. Toilets are in the (separate) water closet, which might well be outside the house if you live in the country.
* The train system is pretty punctual for Inutoland. However, this means that it shows up in at least the right hour time-slot. You see this as natural and normal, and wonder why tourists get so agitated about it.
* You think racism is pretty loony when there are three separate species of human in Inutoland who all get along just fine.
* You think it natural that children begin to learn foreign languages as soon as they enter school at 5. We live in the modern world, after all, and no-one outside of Inutoland speaks any of your languages.
* You expect marriages to be agreed on by the family in a consultation between the person in question and their parents. This used to mean the parents consulting with their children and then making the match, but these days it's more likely to be the children seeking parental approval before they make the match.
* If a man has sex with another man, he is a homosexual. Deep down, you're not sure you approve, but really, it's his business. As long as everything is consensual, you'll just smile and nod and wish them well. They almost certainly will never be close friends of yours, though.
* You call anyone older or higher-status than you by the formal pronoun, up to and including your parents. The informal pronoun is reserved for people of your own age or younger, and those of lower status. The idea of calling your parents by the informal pronoun is disrespectful. The idea of calling the King by the informal pronoun would shock you.
* If you're a woman, you might go to the beach topless. Or down the street, for that matter. Full nudity would be unusual, but not enough to cause comment. Most people wear clothes for decorative purposes rather than because of any sort of body taboo.
* A hotel room has private toilet facilities. A tourist hotel has private bathing facilities. If you're Inuto Comahi, you never use the private facilities, preferring the public ones, but you might use private bathing if you are Jewish, Christian or Nandahu, and almost certainly will if you are Muslim.
* If a politician has been caught cheating on his wife, you don't even notice.
* Meat, amaranth grain and rice are something you eat every day. In good times, every meal.
* Bread barely exists. When it does, it's made from quinoa or amaranth grain. You think bread made with wheat has no flavour.
* You make jokes about the Puruhi, but you'll leap to their defence if you see one getting taken advantage of.
* There are parts of the large cities you definitely want to avoid at night. Or during the day, for that matter (like jail). Some parts of the rainforest, too, especially if you're born and bred in the heart of a city. There are Smilodon, Borhyena, jaguars and really big lizards, all of them dangerous to humans. A wild ground sloth is not to be trifled with, either.
* Official taxis are generally operated by immigrants or students. The former are better drivers. However, in most of the country you can just flag down a passing car and negotiate a price with the driver.
* Showing up precisely on time for something is insulting or ignorant. You know they won't be ready.
* If you have a business appointment or interview with someone, you expect to have that person to yourself for as long as it takes to conduct your business. Plan on at least an hour, the first fifteen to twenty minutes of which will be social interaction unrelated to the matter at hand.

by **Turtatalia** » Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:26 am

...the Federal semi-communist system is the best system according to you
...you're a young boy and you weigh 15 stone or more
...you own a slave
...you like nothing better than eating chocolate to get fatter
...you think that being skinny is immoral, unhealthy and illegal

by **Stuffed Taxidermists** » Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:32 am

You know you are Stuffed Taxidermistsan if...
You are being eaten....
You are workign as a Taxidermist.....
You have a crap national soccer team......
you misplace vaseline for fake tan.....

by **Ibasira** » Mon Oct 25, 2010 6:00 am

You know you are Ibàsiran when...

...Your religion forbids you from killing animals.
...You find killing animals a waste of potential beasts of burden anyway.
...You always have tranquilizer darts with you in case an animal wants to kill YOU.
...You don't discriminate between humans and non-humans and just enslave both.
...You have a siberian husky, a rottweiler AND a donkey as pet.
...You hate frogs, but don't kill them.
...Instead, you let a Grey Heron loose in your garden and let THAT kill the frogs.
...You own a tuk-tuk for private use.
...You grow your own crops in your garden.
...You have more than one wife.
...You have at least one non-human wife.
...You muzzle your non-human wife because you think she's annoying.
...You have more than 5 children.
...You enslave half of them when they become 16.
...You drink beer in the tavern almost all day while your slaves do all your work.
...You like the Finns only because your king just so happens to have a Finnish background.
...Whenever you speak English, it sounds like you're cockney.
...You think it is perfectly normal to smoke weed when children are around.
...You speak Finnish, even though you've never heard of an "ö" sound.
...You suck at speaking your native language.
...You think your king is way too liberal.

by **The yeerks** » Mon Oct 25, 2010 11:50 pm

you know you're a yeerk when
-you control another speices brain
-you have to go back to the kandrona pool every 3 days or you'll die
-you help organize a front organization called the sharing
-you know that if you eat maple ginger instant oatmeal you'll get addicted to it and go insane

you know you're a controller when
-your enslaved to the yeerks

by **Fichu Tribute** » Mon Oct 25, 2010 11:56 pm

You know you're from Fichu Tribute...

If all foreigners consider you rude as hell.
If you purposely shut the door on pregnant grandmothers carrying two babies and a dying puppy.
If you know your constitutional freedoms and rights inside and out.
If you are comtemplating creating a thirteenth sexual gender.

by **Anogen Dys** » Tue Oct 26, 2010 2:40 am

You know you are Anogenese when...

-You are afraid to do anything because "they" are watching you.
-But you love "them".
-Your house has about 12 CCTV cameras installed in it.
-You don't know the name of your leader, but your life revolves around him.
-When you have been indoctrinated with beliefs that cause you to suffer from "democraticaphobia".
-You've never heard of the Internet.
-You have never left the country and most probably never will.
-No-one from your country looks like they are part of the same ethnic group.

by **Kandorith** » Tue Oct 26, 2010 2:56 am

You know you are Kandorese when..

-You agree with the current holder of the throne
-You watch KNBC
-Lisho Yaru is your favorite reporter
-Muck Tagaci and Maki Hatego are your favorite pop stars
-Materu Destruction is your favorite Rock band
-Your food mainly concists of rice and fried fish or beef
-You turn on KMBT on your TV and see strangely dressed rockbands in the pop charts
-You are suspicious of neighbouring nations and think the government will protect you from their invasions
-You wear traditional clothing during hollidays or celebrations
-Speak atleast 1 dialect of Kandorese and english
-Love strange gameshows which include contestants completely making a fool out of themselves
-Your favorite colours are either; white, blue, red or turqoise
-The sea makes you think of the Kento religion
-You believe in Kento
-You think the leader is a direct descendant of the sun goddess.
-You completely support the national football(Soccer) team even while you don't have high expectations.
-Hate communism, but still see a future in it.
-Work in 1 office, amongst 10,000 or more other people
-Live in a city with over 100 million people
-Hate the Jurei(A minority in Kandorith)
-Always arrive exactly on time or 5 minutes before time.
-Raise your children with a bamboo cane
-Keep work and private life completely seperated
-Drink tea during official visits and hollidays
-hate fastfood, yet eat it while at work
-Work from 8:30 till 19:00 or later
-Have both a male and female idol model and/or actor
-You know your entire family history and cherrish it
-You know the names of the most important people in the government
-See the emperor as the most wise leader
-Adore the empress
-See any war as a war against either lesser/barbarians or in name of Kento and protecting the Empire
-Love sitting in quiet parks for a tea party in the middle of the bussiest cities.
-Don't judge anyone on looks, no matter what they wear as long as it looks acceptable
-Don't show your sexuality in public
-See life in the following order of important things: The Empire, Ancestors, Family, Friends, Your own health, Work, Wealth
-Are a nationalist
-Love fashion, the stranger the better.

by **Auzkhia** » Thu Dec 09, 2010 7:26 pm

You know you are Auzkhian if
-you own an arsenal of military grade weapons
-you hate communism
-you hate tourists when they expect you to speak their language
-you did community service just to avoid being in the military
-you yell at people for jaywalking
-you routinely go 100mph on the highway and tailgate heavily
-you separate your trash in to five different bins
-you wear brown leather shoes
-you expect chocolate in your shoes on December 6th
-it is 36*C in the subway and you close the windows because you don't like the breeze
-commas are decimal points
-your one symbol looks like a seven
-you think gun control is the safety mechanism
-your three has a flat top
-you dont know anyone who does not own a car
-your pub's Bartender knows your name.
-you always attend Oktoberfest
-you regularly walk your pet catgirl
-you never left a family party without a fist fight.
-you can live on sausage, potatoes, onions and Beer.
-if you can see the road you can pass.

by **Meryuma** » Sun Dec 19, 2010 11:35 am

You know you are Meryumi when...

-Your favorite rap song includes hurdy gurdy, trumpet, and/or stand-up bass
-You'll tolerate fascists as long as they aren't forcing it on anyone
-You don't see the problem with public nudity, but abhor the idea of throwing away food
-You see drag shows as fine art
-You often see people debating philosophy on the street
-You've visited anarcho-capitalist and anarcho-communist neighborhoods in the same city

by **Diol** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 11:06 am

You know you are an imperial vakol if:
-you own 20-30 slaves
-a cheap family car can travel at 400 miles per hour
-getting to the nearest shopping mall can take a half hour on a luxury spaceship to the shopping mall planet of altos.
-You live by a strict cast system
-The standard greating is "Oi! You!"
-you live in massive cities constructed out of steel and plastics.
-Being under 8 feet tall is strange
-gay sex in public is a popular activity for the people in your city.
-Windows are made of light.
-Land-destroying competitions, where participants try to smuther the land in toxic chemicals to see who can destroy the most. There is an extra price for a fluffy rabbit., are common.
-Death by disrespect is common on a death certificate.
-You have never been to earth, but you think it must be brillant.
-The most popular drink is "happy happy juice," with the slogan "See sounds, hear colors!"
-Murdering your sister is common.
-Children have as much say in family affairs as adults.
-Children can often be seen playing the wonderful game of "Poke the donkey with the stick and watch it squeel."
-You canot become a qualified athlete without 200 hours of gruiling training.
-The military destroy citties regularly, "Too teach them a lesson."

-Your father has skinned a live human with his teeth, and you want to follow in his footsteps.
-Your average weight is 400 pounds, the brain weighs 20 pounds.
-You have an iq of around 8000.
-You are forced to resit exams for a score of 99.5 per cent.
-The family has a slave just for answering the telephone.
-All of your family work from the age of 10.
-All of your family pay almost 100 per cent tax rates, and you don't mind.
-Most people live in luxurious mantions.
-Your life expectancy is 1012.
Children generaly play and interact freely with members of other species, even there own slaves, however adults (over the 400-year-old mark) tend to hate them.
-You own a gun.
-It is considered a major artillery piece in some other countries.
-Your kids own a gun.
- Your slaves own a gun.
- Your pets probably own guns too.
- Everybody is allowed free access to "Imperial military supplies store, to pick up the latest stealth fighter for "That annoying bloke who keeps playing his music too loud at night."
-You can expect to be in the military for up to 50 years.
- You enjoy being in the military.

You are a human or munar:
-You regularly see members of your family being dragged off into slavery to a 10-year-old vakol.
- You receive a low standard of living.
- More tradditionalist vakols think of you as mere animals.
-you're race is slowly turning green because of the great amounts of polution in the 910221 inhabited worlds of diol.
-You generaly earn around half the wage of the average vakol.
-You work very hard for your money.
-You live in a normal sized house.
-You have an average life span of 90 years.
-You spend large amounts of your time in flotation tanks to rid yourself of that greenness.
-You drink mostly bitter ale.
-Your family are regarded as strange.
-Your last name is zoowmidiki

You are a slave in the empire when:
-You generally work over 4 hours a day! (most vakols and humans work around 2 hours a day, a diol day being around 10 hours)
-You eat mostly gormet food.
-Your master doesn't know it, but your gun is probably more powerfull than his. (It is, imperial legislation 21232 demands that slaves must have a good chance of defending themselves, like most legislations, it is taken too seriously.)
-You can expect to be treated like a child, no matter of your age.
-You are beaten with a shock batton if you do something wrong. (High-profile exeption: The future emperor mudka salum once famously shot his arm forward, to protect a human slave that he had become fond as a friend of. The slave in question was beeing beaten by his father, maldissa, for moving too slowly at a public parade. This was witnessed by over 120 billion people around the galaxy. This was the only time it has ever been recorded that a member of the vakol ruling classes was ever shock battoned.)
-If you are a child, you play with the other children of all species.

by **Frenequesta** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 11:49 am

You know you are a Frenequestan when...

...you prefer your picture to be taken in black and white or sepia over color.
...you've never touched a gas pump in your life, unless it had hydrogen instead of oil.
...your head explodes when you hear about a highly capitalist nation is good at protecting its environment.
...you are not considered upper class unless you have a personal clone, no matter how rich you are.
...you can't stand the sound of an electric guitar.
...you are an opera nut, especially those of the twentieth century.
...you've got a gun on your person, but are always afraid to use it.
...you have some kind of furry fetish, and have had plastic surgery to look like an anthro to get a tax credit.
...you've never had the common cold.
...you hate having to maintain a lawn, and prefer to live in a condominium.
...you can speak several dialects of Swiss German as well as Mandarin Chinese and English
...you are used to hearing pianos playing ragtime on every street corner and cafe.
...you burn the national flag just for the fun of it.
...you've changed your religion, name, and profession several times in your life.
...at seven years old, you were selling complex gadgets you made yourself on the street corner.
...you are borderline high-functioning autistic, and find social relationships quite difficult.
...you don't mind getting near nuclear or toxic waste, because you probably worked with it once in your life.
...your teachers don't mind how intelligent you are as long as you are creative.
...you wince when somebody says that they love their country.
...you think that a stockpile of nuclear weapons, at the expense of every other facet of national defense, is enough to keep colonialist powers at bay.
...you will refuse to buy a company's product if their advertisements use a logical fallacy of any kind.
...you believe that protecting the environment is an inalienable responsibility.
...if you are well-off, you never show it.
...you have terrible hygiene.
...you eat equal proportions of genetically modified and organic crops.
...you think beer is barbaric, and drink excess quantities of wine daily.
...you are highly introverted, and prefer to talk to oneself rather than with others.
...you are ironically unaware of your country's great technological developments.

by **Gandoor** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 1:09 pm

You know you are a Gandoorese when...
...you expect to go to Gandoor Burger to get fast food, as opposed to McDonald's.
...you are fearful of travelling 88 mph in your car.
...you are confused when you travel to other countries and they don't have factory-built housing units.
...you can speak fluent English, Japanese, Russian, and Gandoorese English.
...you mix these languages together in casual conversation.
...you oppose free enterprise but own many things originating from privately-owned companies.
...you distrust Americans.
...you hold the right to express yourself as you please dear, but oppose people using it to promote racist and outdated beliefs.
...you fear the Socialist government collapsing.
...you think Nintendo is the greatest video game company of all time.

by **Zyratar** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 1:24 pm

You know your are a Zyrataran when...
...you have trouble understanding governments that aren't run by computers.
...you consider people with absurd amounts of cosmetic surgery and cybernetic implants normal.
...you have an IQ of 300 and are a polymath, even before you add in the effects of the brain implant.
...you consider the idea of people getting rich by manipulating currency absurd.
...you will happily tolerate anyone expressing any point of view as they are civil about it and don't break any laws.
...you can hear colors and see sound.
...you are part of a massive breeding program to produce the perfect human.

by **Xazarax** » Wed Jan 26, 2011 12:18 am

You know you are a Xazarian if you...

- believe Xan is your god
- believe all foreign races are somewhat inferior
- see the terms "sport" and "academic decathlon" as interchangeable
- hate all fiction literature
- see democracy as backward-thinking, old-fashioned, and destined-to-fail'
- shun evolutionists
- ride the bus everywhere you go
- have never tasted alcohol
- are always "happy"
- make the same amount of money as everyone else in the country
- are always polite to everyone
- think chess is a sport
- wear the same clothes as everyone else
- think women should be 'seen, not heard'
- speak fluent Xazarian and English with perfect grammar
- have never used the internet
- have a government owned flak cannon next to you house
- have gone to a stadium to watch professional trivia competitions
- can't ride a bike
- shun all violence not conducted by the government
- idolize no one but Xan
- listen to Government FM
- would give your child to the army to train to become a super soldier
- are of Zytogonian descent
- have never voted
- see homosexuality as an abomination
- have lost property to eminent domain

by **Hresejnen** » Tue Feb 01, 2011 1:19 am

You know you are a Hresejn if you:

-Can't remember the names of all the deities you worship because you're too hammered.
-Think V "isn't a real letter".
-Aren't really sure whether it's supposed to snow in July or December.
-Have no qualms with walking about your daily life ass-naked ... in five degree weather.
-Travel regularly by boat.
-Regularly curse and utilize lewd expression in everyday conversation to "add spice to dialogue".
-Are both a farmer and the equivalent to a US senator.
-Are the above and still poor.
-Can travel across the nation and acquire lodgings by knocking on some random guy's door.
-Carry your gun everywhere you go.
-Carry multiple guns everywhere you go.
-Can pronounce Hresejnen.
-Can write your name in soft wood with your fingernail.
-Piracy is a family business.
-Avoid coastal towns while traveling. At least officially.
-Were raised by your boss.
-Are confused over the term, "The News".
-Think punctuation is for sissies.
-Have a pet bear.
-Feel watching someone get hanged is boring.
-Regularly tell government officials to their face what they should do.
-Understanding not grammar used proper.
-Tell men and women immediately apart by the presence or lack of facial hair.
-Know four seasons: Almost winter, Winter, Still winter, and Drunken haze that might have been warmer than winter.
-Can take a foreigner to a runestone.
-Carved that runestone.
-It's in your backyard.
-Conspiracy theories you've heard of involve your country sinking.
-Can be sloppy-drunk and still outwit the majority of foreign politicians when it comes to national policy.
-Believe you operate as a world-class surgeon best when you have had a few drinks.
-Are right.
-Your childhood bedtime stories involve decapitation and rape.
-Have used skis for general travel.
-Bathe, shower, comb your hair, brush your teeth, groom your eyebrows, iron your clothes, clean out your fingernails, trim your mustache, and pluck your nose hairs at least twice a day.
-Think "spending time with the family" means walking alone through the woods.
-Speak in a poetic meter.
-Think this list is remotely funny.

by **Shalaam** » Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:24 pm

You know you're Shalaami if...
- You wore a hijab to your best friend's Bat Mitzvah.
- When you get home late, you get yelled at by all four of your wives.
- You own a Hebrew Koran.

You know you are...

...in Turtatalia if...

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