You know you are...

[TurtleShroom]

You know you are Freelasian if...

...You can suddenly know about info you have had no experience of whatsoever
...You think so quickly and efficiently that it can only be a part of the genetics of the original 5 people who landed on our islands years ago (1 woman and 4 men, they are the ancestors of ALL freelasians)
...As a gurl you have bangs and small round/oval glasses or look elegant in a formal suit
...As a guy you are sort of dorky and tall or look very serious like those guys from goldman sacchs
...You seem to have an infinite brain capacity and an abnormally and largely addictive craving for knowledge
...You are enlightened or serious
...Your sense of humor just plain sucks
...You love calculators...You are silly
...Isolated
...Not very Social

Nation of nerds = win.

[Maryginia]

you know you are in maryginia when

-people party half the time
-you love soccer and football and cant decide which you should watch when theyre together on the same day
-you try to run up walls
-you love barbeque and wings
-almost every child says they want to be a farmer or sports medicine doctor when they grow up just like their parents
-you settle arguments by rodeo and bull riding competitions
-you love family guy or american dad
-you fortify your house with a giant defense system
-you love to play the tradewinds games
-people say you constantly ask questions
-you want to minor in espionage in college
-you love country/western music
-you love comic books
-you enjoy your weekly if not bi-weekly election in your state
-you love fried foods

[Wangatengki]

You know you are Wangatengkian when...
... you think the idea of a busy day is mowing the lawn and drinking a Foster's.
... you can't stand country-western music.
... you think air conditioning is a basic necessity for life.
... you are fairly open-minded about just about everything.
... you like to sing, especially when drunk.
... you think Wangatengkian girls are the prettiest around.
... the expressions "gone troppo," "about as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike," and "ridgy-didge" all mean something to you.
... you greet people by saying "G'day" and think that anything else is uptight or unfriendly.
... you despise unfriendly people.
... you spend the majority of your time outside, barefoot. Shoes are only for visits to the city.
... you think of a bike as a legitimate form of transportation over great distances.
... you tend to have a sarcastic sense of humor.
... you speak a dialect of English, which combined with slang, makes you understandable only to your neighbors.
... you own a gun. Probably several. But you use them only for target shooting and keep them in your basement.
... you have a basement.
... you've had at least ten or fifteen jobs, and are still looking for a new one.
... you consider a cricket bat a useful 'round-the-house tool.
... you love koalas, kangaroos, and walabies, but don't have any idea what the hell a platypus is because they were hunted to extinction.

[Radictistan]

You know you are Radictistani if...

...your idea of a romantic date includes 7.62mm ammunition and beer.
...you care whether the public transit is bulletproof.
...you think fried potatoes, by themselves, constitute a meal.
...upon entering a liquor store you look for an escape route in case something goes wrong while placing your order.
...beer and vodka are line items on your bridge club's budget.
...you think of people in the next county over as "foreigners."
...you fondly remember the food served during your army days.
...you can identify the origins of a tin roof by its touch.
...your beer money comes from coins left by kids on railroad track.

[Swilatia]

you know you are in maryginia when

-people party half the time
-you love soccer and football and cant decide which you should watch when theyre together on the same day
-you try to run up walls
-you love barbeque and wings
-almost every child says they want to be a sniper assasian or sports medicine doctor when they grow up
-people sacrifice their enemies if they can capture them and eat their body parts
-you settle arguments by rodeo and bull riding competitions
-you love family guy or american dad
-you fortify your house with a giant defense system
-you love to play the tradewinds games
-you wonder what it would be like to rule north korea
-you love playing infectinator world domination
-people say you constantly ask questions
-you want to minor in espionage in college
-you find it enjoyable to put dynamite down a naughty animals throat and see them blow up
-you love country/western music
-your keyboard has no shift key

...I just had to...

[Jumping Jupiters]

Hmm, some of this I've posted before on Jolt, but I guess I'm due for an update...too much to retcon! :p I'm using these as my basis.

^ Man, I wish I could do my post like that... :(

---

You know it's TurtleShroom when...


• A little church is on every few blocks.
  
• All your judges wear large crosses.
  ...-and you expect them to do it.
  
• "Chancellor" is the term for the highest head of state in the land.
  ...-and you're shocked when foreign Chancellors don't have the powers of kings.
  
• Five hundred members of a legislature isn't big.
  
• You've never seen a bottle of alcohol.
  ...-or a can of beer.
  ...Ever.
  
• You are astonished to see alcohol in foreign realms.
  ...-and you refuse to drink it.
  ...-if you can recognize it.
  
• You see things every day that, for a foreigner to see, would require a pound of a LSD.
  ...-then you condemn the foreigner for referencing it.
  
• Women either wear pants or skirts that at least go to the knees. Anything shorter immediantly brings implications of unholiness and debauchery.
  
• You have a nasty accent.
  
• Seeing a prostitute makes you vomit. No, we mean you actually throw up on cue.
  
• If a politician commits adultery, he should be fired and jailed for decades on end.
  
• You consider "The Twist" to be "edgy", "Hammer Time" to be "spastic", and any dance move invented past 1995 to be filthy.
  ...especially pelvic thrusts.
  ...if your local town even allows dancing.
  
• You expect all media to be rated by a censorship board.
  ...-and you like it that way.
  
• If the swear word isn't beeped, someone's going to get fired.
  
• You can't make direct contact with a homosexual.
  ...-and they scare you.
  ...-and if they come out, you'll run one out of your town.
  
• You theorize that Nazis have all signed a pact with the devil.
  ...despite being told that's incorrect.
  
• Christmas is a holy day in December. Nothing, except hospitals, the fire department, gas stations, and 9111 are open.
  
• "GAT" has a significant and powerful meaning.
  
• Everything is shut down on Good Friday, that Saturday, and Easter Sunday, except the essentials.
  
• You expect someone who burns a national flag in protest to be in jail for a month.
  ...you find it sickening that countries allow that.
  
• Serving turtle soup could be a death sentance for the cook.
  
• "Cream of mushroom" is an obscene phrase.
  
• You expect any murderer and many rapists to be killed.
  ...for the most prolific of cases, you'll call in and choose what form of capital punishment he recieves.
  
• You expect the death sentance to be swift, instantenous, and yet used whenever possible.
  ...you see no contradiction in that.
  
• You're a warmongerer.
  
• If you haven't attended church by the age of eight, people will think your parents are Atheistic.
  
• No one can explain the difference between Atheism and Agnosticism to you, no matter how hard you try.
  
• A government is supposed to be pure, incorruptible, friendly, useful, protective, and hold the best interests of the people at heart.
  ...-and you're saying this seriously, without sarcasm.
  ...-and your government actually does it.
  
• You see a state religion as perfectly okay, but shout if they dare enforce it.
  ...-because Jesus said He was to be chosen.
  
• You apply Christianity to everything.
  ...you once explained the Trinity to someone by comparing it to a hivemind.
  
• The mere mention of "Nicksylvania", "Victorious Decepticons", "Grand World Order", "Greater Nepal", or "Station Twelve" sends terror up your spine.
  
• You're gullible. Oh so gullible.
  ...a foreigner once told you it was a customary greeting in his homeland to "jump up and down and shout "AH-OOH-GA". You then did it.
  
• Your heads of state are not royals despite their power and crowns.
  
• You see dice as a perfectly appropriate means of choosing the successor to your heads of state.
  ...local media, when covering it, capitalize it as "The Dice".
  ...dice are practically sacred to you.
  
• You hate gambling.
  ...you wouldn't even bet in Go Fish.
  
• You are active in politics, and if you're not, you still vote anyway.
  
• If someone doesn't vote and still complains of the government, they're an idiot and are ignored or even pelted by pies.
  ...-and it's legal to pelt people with pie.
  ...-and run certain groups out of town.
  
• A satanist or Pastafarian can't practice in open, but Muslims, Christians, Jews, and any mainstream faith can, even in school.
  
• You hate excessive taxes but do not see "50%" as excessive.
  
• You don't really care that certain freedoms in the Constitution were amended decades after the thing was written.
  
• A scandal IS a reason to fire, and businesses who don't may get boycotted.
  
• Protests are annoying, stupid, and would be better off in the middle of nowhere.
  ...-even though they're fully allowed for most any reason.
  ...-but only in designated Protest Areas.
  ...-and you don't think that's an infringement in free speech.
  
• If you're Communist in TurtleShroom, you will look a lot like this by choice.
  
• You are used to being bombarded with commercials between television and radio shows.
  ...you actually listen to radio shows.
  
• The Internet is banned.
  ...-but computers aren't.
  ...-and you could really care less.
  
• ...-and so much more.
  

Gat as in the lyrics in Youth of a Nation by P.O.D? Also meaning a gun

[Victorious Decepticons]

You know you're a Decepticon if...

You have plenty of ways to eliminate the use of oil, but you wouldn't dream of it because it makes the best-tasting Energon.

You are made, not born.

You only have one parent.

This parent is your Coder, not your "father" or "mother."

You think having to wait until 4 to join the Military is a ridiculous limitation.

Those who don't join by 5 are cowards who will only be conscripted anyway.

Going on a raid is your idea of a good time.

Raiding a place advanced enough to have SAM batteries is your idea of an extreme sport.

You think all bodies should be built to last forever, assuming they aren't shut down via violence.

You keep spare bodies, because the one you're in eventually *will* get shut down by violence.

You will never get killed or murdered. You may, however, end up deactivated, terminated, shut down, turned into slag, or suffer a fatal error.

You never get physically sick or mentally ill. Instead, you suffer damages or get glitches in your code.

You think that the idea of fixing any mental error with years of psychotherapy or psychotropic drugs is ridiculous. Debugging can fix any such errors in a day, tops, and usually it only takes a few minutes.

You aren't at all creeped out by the fact that your body is made out of other bodies that've been melted down.

When you see a planet with only biologicals on it, your first thought is how you're going to raid the place.

You can't really imagine why human brains don't explode in a shower of sparks from all of that wetness.

When you go to a spa, you enjoy a nice hot-wax job.

Wax makes you shine. It doesn't take hair away. Whatever 'hair' is.

You think it's stupid to wear medals. Your flashy filigree paint embellishment, on the other hand, is a high honor.

You wouldn't dream of accepting credit cards, notes, or other such instruments. They'd only be forgeries anyway.

You can forge almost anything.

You always taste a shot of any money anyone is trying to pay you, to make sure it's not really just phosphorescent water.

You can't understand why other nations charge income tax. It's only going to be evaded anyway, so why bother?!

On the other hand, you think it's normal to have the Raid Tax bot grab 10% off of any loot you take to an official dropoff point.

Dropping off loot like crude oil or iron ore (that you raided from somewhere) in exchange for fully-refined Energon Cubes is the usual end of your business day.

You would rather rust away than take a regular job. Jobs are for slaves and losers. REAL Decepticons raid or connive for their money!

You may realize that the above mindset leads to a steady supply of rusted-out losers who couldn't raid a lollipop from a human baby and are therefore destitute. This may lead you to decide that a good way to make money is to drag them to the foundries as scrap - whether they're still alive or not.

If you do the above, you won't have to fear arrest. Instead, weaker robots will fear YOU!

You are not horrified that some robots do that kind of thing. It's just part of life. Those who aren't Deceptive or Conniving are a waste of metal anyway, and reclaiming it for REAL Decepticons is a good thing.

You think the Autobots were the EVIL side and that their desire for laws was actually just a means to suck the vibrancy out of life. Of course, the fact that they wanted to destroy all Decepticons doesn't improve your opinion of them!

Humans and other biological lifeforms are beta creatures. You would pity them, but they're arrogant and think that they're above robots. Therefore, you laugh when they're sent into the mines.

You wouldn't dream of downloading pirated software. It may cause you to get hacked. That's literal. It may hack YOU. Not "your computer" or "your system."

A nonliving computer is freakish to you, like a zombie is to a human. If you saw one, you'd likely destroy it as an abomination.

You really don't know what a 'civilian' is in the true sense of the word. There are only active-duty troops, and off-duty troops.

These are just a few of the things that are part of being a Decepticon.

[Fatatatutti]

You know you are Fatatatutian when...
- your idea of a busy day is watching the grass grow.
- you don't know what air conditioning is.
- you don't know what an ashtray is.
- you spend the majority of your time outside, barefoot, and consider sandals to be formal wear.
- you've made a three-day trip on a bus.
- you're surprised to see a police officer with a gun.
- you live three centimeters above sea level and don't know what a basement is.
- you think surfing is a job.

[Hurtful Thoughts]

You are hurtian if:

-You can insult an alliance by purring at their leader, and neither of them are furry-friendly.*
-You're minister of foriegn affairs is about as mature as an 6 year old hero.
-You know what a joycamp looks like, from the inside.
-You push-start 360-ton mega-tanks.
-When you see a clapping smilie [ ] you expect someone to get nukespammed.
-You have 'successfully' invaded DMG.
-You don't know what a fire-mode selector switch is for anymore.
-You made your own triggergaurd for your gun from an old coat-hanger after watching your best friend shoot your other best friend in the happy-place by accident.
-You destroy foriegn governments, then give the bill to the new provisional governments.
-You edit every post at least twice

*Corprate Alliance Terrorist. Calling them felines in official communiques drives them up walls.

[New Lusitaniagrad]

You know you are Lusitanian if you......

.... own more than 5 firearms
.... listen to Dropkick Murphy's
.... refer to communists as " dammed commies"
.... often put the word "sodding" in front of other words
.... go to church every Sunday
.... hate political correctness

[Living Freedom Land]

You know your a Living Freedom Lander if...

...the tax collector checks your yard for land mines.
...you've ever hit a deer with your car...deliberately.
...you think Lime-Green Snake is "the other white meat."
...you stormed last year's National Soccer Tournament in an angry mob not because you hate soccer, but because you hate soccer.
...a chain saw is a musical instrument.
...your kids take moonshine still to "Show and Tell."
...your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
...the school you went to had advertisements on the desks... for cigarettes.
...there is a fake stuffed mammoth anywhere in your house.
...you took off work for Taco Tuesdays at the local diner.
...the neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.
...you own your house, but not the air rights.

[United Valik]

You know that you are a Valikan if....

1. You're married, but you have 3 or 4 mistresses and your wife doesn't bat an eye about it.
2. Your wife has 3 or 4 lovers of her own.
3. All your extramarital affairs have an emotional component to them.
4. You have sex with a hooker, and your wife is mad at you, not because you had sex with another woman, but because you had casual sex with a prostitute.
5. You lost your oral virginity at 13, but your regular one at 16 (this is quite common among Valikans who don't wish to have kids that young).
6. The first was lost to your cousin, the second to your aunt (yes, cougars are popular in Valik....many young men take them as mistresses, because they are financially stable and can better afford to raise a bastard).
7. You're expected to commit incest with distant relations, but siblings, parents, and children are taboo.
8. Your favorite drink is ouzo, and you started drinking at age 10, at dinner, with your parents present (it was regular wine).
9. You speak several languages just to do business.
10. You've sneaked around to the Macurean Quarter of your town to experience casual sex for the first time. That is also a dark secret that you will take with you to your grave, due to the shame.
11. Your family, including distant relatives, all live very close and often take baths together.
12. You vote annually, no more, no less, because all offices (other than Patriarch) are annual.
13. One of your friends has a male lover, and you think nothing of it.
14. Both sexes are comfortable being naked in front of each other in your community, and you think that is how it should be everywhere.
15. Your local gym has a co-ed steam room, shower, spa, and pool.
16. All sports and exercise are performed in the nude.
17. Your favorite singer is a member of Celtic Woman.
18. You hate rap with a passion.
19. You watch the Olympics religiously.
20. There are robed, heavily armed men who walk around in broad daylight, and you have to make way for these Brethren.
21. You know a few Christians, but you and most of your family are Patrian. The ones who aren't do not get disowned, but are treated as regular members of the family.
22. An Amish community just started up, and instead of gawking at their clothes or harassing them, you make a point of helping a buggy driver get his cart out of the mud. Your friends help out to, because that's just what you're supposed to do.

[Sarzonia]

You know you're Sarzonian when:

You see people wearing naval uniforms even if they're not in the Navy.

Your heart beats faster every time you see a sailing ship. Hearing a carronade fire gets you excited.

Even seeing the Stars lose a friendly match with their eighth choice side against the world's second ranked team gets you worked up.

Saying "Inkana" gets you dirty looks from veterans.

Saying "Pantera" draws a smile from a grizzled veteran.

You wonder if you should salute the Delaclav flag as well as the Sarzonian flag.

You salute the Delaclav flag and no Sarzonians give you strange looks.

You're required to take Latin to communicate both with your closest ally and understand your most bitter enemy.

Stevie Nicks wrote or co-wrote every important song in your nation's history.

Your nation's capital was named after a hippie music festival.

You either work at the Portland Iron Works or know someone who does.

[UCDF]

You know your in UCDF if...
You are put thru a gravity bending weapon remover
You slay alien beasts daily
When you're in the dropship your sarge forces you to listen to the spice girls
You're taken at age 6 to became soldiers or super soldiers
you see th UCDF flag daily
If you're a normal soldier you're jealous of the super soldiers
Every few hours you hear an explosion

[Letat]

You know you are Letatian if...

-You never display flowers at a dinner party for fear your guests will read into the political symbolism of your chosen arrangement.
-You look forward to elections more than vacations.
-You participate in more elections than vacations.
-You've been a member of three political parties in the last two years.
-You find it odd that in other countries, soldiers don't elect their generals.
-You're not really a fan of the St. Lionel football team, but you always root for them even when they play against your favorite side.
-At least one member in your extended family is Buddhist, at least one is Christian, and you're fairly sure they switched not too long ago.

[TurtleShroom]

Gat as in the lyrics in Youth of a Nation by P.O.D? Also meaning a gun.

IC: Good guess, but no. In TurtleShroom, "GAT" means "Grand Alcoholic Tribunal".

[The Tavan Race]

You know you're a tavan if you

::think it's fine to kill politicians you don't like, but vehemently oppose killing bacteria with soap
::can smoke anything and everything you feel like, but can't throw a candy wrapper on the ground without facing the death penalty
::have your own spacecraft but don't own a car
::fail to see the problems with nuclear power because of your near-immunity to radiation
::cannot ingest more than a few mL of alcohol without dying, but can drink neurotoxin without a care
::cut out your own venom glands for fear you will be punched in the jaw and die
::harbor an innate fear of progress but proclaim your support of science from the rooftops
::would sacrifice your life for a stranger but can't be bothered to spare a cent for a homeless person
::enjoy having your skin peeled off as a recreational activity but begin hallucinating after a few hours of boredom
::are insanely knowledgeable of other species' cultures but consistently misunderstand them when they ask if you drink
::would torture a rapist but set a murderer free
::get at least a third of your sustenance by stealing and another third by hunting it yourself
::love fruits of all varieties but are fatally allergic to wheat
::can see radio waves but would be hard pressed to describe them
::celebrate the summer harvest, despite being unable to eat any of it
::own a laser rifle powerful enough to melt through a tank's armor but not a foot of plumbing in your hut
::will pay $20 to see an arena fight but cannot afford the water bill

[Bears Armed]

You know you're Sarzonian when:

You see people wearing naval uniforms even if they're not in the Navy.

'Village' People?

[Gwarmos]

You know you're a Gwarman when...
...You have no idea what a firefighter is, and if you id, you'd spit on them.
...The natural shade of your skin has long been forgotten, seeing as at least 60% of your body is now covered in tattoos.
...When you have at least 3 dads/moms, and a dozen siblings.
...You can fit most coinage in your ear lobes.
...You have more piercings than digits.
...The best and most (in)famous military men and politicians have extensive criminal records.
...You get fined for murder.
...and rape.
...The concept of marriage makes you laugh uncontrollable, then stare in disbelief when you find out people actual practice it.
...Like wise with christian religions.
...Oh, and strictly heterosexual people.
...You move out at 17.
...Have about 4 kids and twice as many significant others by the age of 18.
...You live with half a dozen of your closest friends.
...You think anyone living in on place for more than a month is the strangest thing you've ever heard.
...You smoke like a chimney, with no ill effects at all.
...Being 6ft is seen as very tall.
...Your funerals are buffets.
...And the eulogy is calling dibs on various anatomy parts to make into trinkets.
...Your 'punishment' for being a serial killer is an ecstatic military commissioned parole offered to you.
...And being a convicted rapist is good on your resume.
...'Domestic Abuse' means 'Tough Love'.
...You treat soldiers like you would a garbage man.
...Music without screaming or growling is seen as weird.

[Sarzonia]

You know you're Sarzonian when:

You see people wearing naval uniforms even if they're not in the Navy.

'Village' People?

Well, the ISN is rather popular in Sarzonia. For a 'variety' of reasons.

[Zeppy]

Well, the ISN is rather popular in Sarzonia. For a 'variety' of reasons.

Babylon 5?

[Atheists Led by Chris]

You know you are an ABCan if...

...you enjoy the wonderful seas of Venus.
...you don't know what the word fossil fuel means.
...you look religion in the dictionary, and see "invisible superhero".
...you look dumb in the dictionary, and see "George Bush".
...you feel bad when you are on Earth New's Stations and see all the crap that is going on there.
...you can be homosexual and nobody cares.
...you can walk to the store naked, nobody cares, and their is about 50 others doing the same thing.
...you don't know what cars are.
...you think any building above two stories is tall.
...you are a Republican and you are considered a liberal.
...you are a Democrat and you are considered Super Liberal.
...you think anything besides government run business are strange and barbaric.
...you get regular visits by Petey the Condom when you are in Pre-K to fifth grade.

[UCDF]

You know you are an ABCan if...

...you enjoy the wonderful seas of Venus.
...you don't know what the word fossil fuel means.
...you look religion in the dictionary, and see "invisible superhero".
...you look dumb in the dictionary, and see "George Bush".
...you feel bad when you are on Earth New's Stations and see all the crap that is going on there.
...you can be homosexual and nobody cares.
...you can walk to the store naked, nobody cares, and their is about 50 others doing the same thing.
...you don't know what cars are.
...you think any building above two stories is tall.
...you are a Republican and you are considered a liberal.
...you are a Democrat and you are considered Super Liberal.
...you think anything besides government run business are strange and barbaric.
...you get regular visits by Petey the Condom when you are in Pre-K to fifth grade.

Wow...
Your nation sucks, almost literally.

[Mushrenia]

You know you are Mushrenian When...

...You delibrately total your foreign friend's car for being too "Unclassily Pimp-ish"
...You find yourself with a distaste of most types of lager, but will drink Gin just fine
...Mice seem to not scare you at all, not even London Sewer Rats
...You don't even shiver out in -20 degree weather, even though you aren't waring anything protective
...You have seen the king on his bad days (Classic Villiage-Burning, anyone?)
...You have seen the inside workings of a creature's body as food, but somehow living through it all unharmed
...You find Nagas and Nekomimi very attactive.

[Volnotov]

You know you are Volnotovian if...

...you don't know what a "goverment" is.
...you think it is perfectly normal and acceptable to enslave "sub-humans" or butcher them for their meat in the most gruesome way possible while you think it is cruel to step on an insect.
...you prefere to drink human blood over alcohol drinks.
...you are against discrimination based on someones race, place of birth, skin colour, race, gender, ancestery of sexuality but you refuse to concider "sub-humans" to be sapient and you also find them to be savages and degenerates.
...you have atleast 1 gigantic spider(1 meter in length), snake and/or crocodile as your pet.
...you are bisexual.
...you are prefectly fine with people having 10 husbands or wifes.
...you are asked wheter you believe in god or not and you reply that you have no fricking idea of what "god" is supposed to mean.
...you have been gentically engineered and have a variety of cybernetic implants.
...you smoke cigars.
...you love to go to the arena and watch people fight to the death.
...you are willing to fight to the death for the ideals of you nation.
...you have lost your virginity by the time you turn 16.
...your favorite music is jazz, psychedelic trance, symphonic metal, dramatic music and/or classical.
...you hate rap music.
...your favorite architecture is edwardian baroque, art deco and some very futuristic styles and you believe that soberness has no place in architecture.
...you love to go out for a walk in the local park or forest.
...you read the newspaper every morning, even if it means ariving late at work.
...you love to play sports or go to the gym but you hate watching sports on the television.
...you have a sacrastic sense of humor and love black comedies.