The Daily Issues Thread [Read OP First]

[San Whoopee]

A team of government scientists has discovered that life, in fact, does not provide us with lemons. The Ministry of Agriculture has thus commenced a lemon-growing initiative to counter the shortfall of lemons due to reduced imports.

[The empire of dragons]

the fighters still don´t have found the amazonians yet, meanwhile, another vampiric ´planet was taken by the forces of our empire.

[Helghast empire]

OOC: you must hate vampires...

anyway in helghan, we are winning the F7 mountain war because no one has posted yay!!!

[Lykosia]

Thanks to the recent financial database breakdown, the economy now suffers A LOT, although all trades now continued.

[Bakakishtan]

The glorious Magocracy of Bakakishtan has no Rules of Engagement. Soldiers have been known to kill and rape civilians unless told not to do so by a commanding officer (almost never happens)

[Apollonesia]

On this date, seventy-two years ago:
The Mozovic Communist regime was overthrown by the Apostles of Aleksandrov, the Tsarist, Orthodox Christian rulers who were removed from power by the Mozovics several years prior. Religion and freedom were once again experienced by the Apollonian people.

[The Large Steel Lords]

The department of health in the Republic of the Large Steel Lords celebrates the continuing decrease of disease related deaths as the breakdown of causes of death shows that the majority of deaths are a result of old age for the first time in our history. The latest report shows that 51% of deaths are a result of aging, with 28% of deaths being the result of heart disease.
In response, the Catholic church responds that the number of "confirmed" acts of God have doubled, claiming that God is striking down the protestant nonbelievers.

[New Acardia]

James Carl the son of (Protestant) radio,television and internet minister John Carl. Has just joined the Orthodox Church of New Acardia(OCNA)

[Metmanui]

Mata Nui has risen in a new Body, he will now be able to guide us as one.

[New Acardia]

The two fastest growing religions in New Acardia are Eastern Orthodox Christiany and Dianic Wiccan.

[Oceanic Vakiadia]

Based on the speed the escaping penguin craft left our star system, they should have reached the planet Kylaska in the Dinani System by now.

[Chambri]

Chambri men no longer have to worry about poor ethic representation on TV shows, because, upon learning of the issue, the Angry Amazonian government has outlawed TV owning and watching for males (with the exception of the governor general, who is allowed to watch news-related programming).

The issue is now dismissed. Chambri men found owning or watching television are guilty of being negligent in their duty to serve their Angry Amazonian overladies.

Long live the queen.
Governor General Xander Y,
Angry Amazonain Colony of Chambri

[Segmentia]

The Adeptus Ministorum has almost been entirely purged, with only a few strongholds remaining. However the Adepta Sororitas, once extreamly loyal to the Adeptus Ministorum, are on the march and will likely purge these strongholds in a few days.

[Kubrath]

A deposit of uranium has been found within our borders... he...he...he...

[Vampiric empire]

a huge fleet os dragon's ships attacked our minery planet, our leader give the order to assault and raid the dragon planets that are near to our great empire

[New Vampire Realms]

The civil war in New Vampire Realms, and the new ruler is Queen Elvira II. She had all of the enemy leaders roasted slowly alive over an open fire. She and her forces gained an advantage in the civil war when they discovered a genetic engineering breakthrough that enables vampires to walk in daylight. Refugees, mostly mortals, accuse her of unspeakable acts of pure cruelty and malice. She has declined to refute such accusations.

[Amazon Redheads]

The government of Amazon Redheads has stated openly that "any further threats or attacks on our colonies will be dealt with harshly, to the point of making any guilty nation seriously regret its aggression."

[Vampiric empire]

our army capture and destroy 12 dragon armys that were invading the capital of the empire. the 13th invading army went to the draco-vampiric frontier 2 hours ago.

[Frenequesta]

A governmental budget report revealed that 60% of the Ministry of the Environment's budget is devoted to approved projects for high-tech, experimental manipulation of public land.

Meanwhile, the Frenequestan Artificial Rainforest Park of Five-Dimensional Species has opened up to many visitors, awing some and terrifying others as they hear "voices" in their head.

[Strognovik]

Fact of the day:

All humans are made in China...

[The empire of dragons]

the fighters finally found the amazonian tribe, now, 20 imperial ships are going that way, the another 20 went to the draco-vampiric frontier.

[Amazonian tribe]

the birthday of the princess mya was great and interesting

[Whairtia]

You have a 67 to 97% chance o getting eaten by a carnivore in my nation.

[Lonelyloner]

20 Mr.Jones-es ( 1 original , and 19 clones ) each claiming to be the original and thus the owner of the Mr.Jones' clones. Attempts to single out the real Mr.Jones result in too much unwanted hassle.
Government intervention have all 20 Mr.Jones-es purged. No more Mr.Jones.

Citizens of Principality of Lonelyloner are advised to not make more than 1 clone at a time and to destroy their clones immediately after use to avoid this kind of BS happening.

[Cheetarians race]

general maya and lt west married 3 hours ago, they were happy