The Daily Issues Thread [Read OP First]

[The UEG-Space Command]

In recent news, the following is happening as we speak.
The discovery of The Master Chief in a section of the Orion Arm.
-The Climax of the Civil war is happening.
-Construction of a type of Halo Array, that kills and destroys anything in a blast with in the system it is in.
-Operation freelancer reopened.
-A new machine is made that can quickly reverse the effects of glassing is made, it is now being used for the planet.
-Sangheili Immigrants move to the colonies as we become a major ally to help them.
-A plan to clone the dead Spartan II's via a new and improved flash cloning system is under way, Spartans that will be cloned include:Leo-300, Daisy-023, Alice-130
-Plans to reform The people dubbed brutes is underway, the planet will be given food, reform and will be given Democracy, we will also unarm all enemies and make sure the fact of the Covenant is not know from future generations until it is time.

So far we predict 3 more years of war with a quick recovery.

[Haishan]

Today,the Haishan Intelligence Network cautioned Phono City inhabitants of possible orbital fallout from the failed MayTheneon Armouries space testing.The debris,from the failed launch vehicle is expected to burn completely upon re-entry,but experts say that Phono City may suffer some structural damage and property damage due to the massive amount of debris generated. This concerned many inhabitants of Phono City,until the Haishan Meteorological Department issued a blizzard warning for the city.It's predicted that the falling debris will be swept away by the blizzard intense winds but no one is certain yet on how it will turn out.On the incident,Rodin Catruk commented that "Failure..is the catalyst of success,that's all". His message had clearly had made most of Haishan military commanders to be in rage due to his insensitive comment.MayTheneon Armouries is reported to plan a public apology and prepared to repair any broken structures due to the event.Other experts argued that the intense blizzard of Haishan might be the cause of the failure.This had developed into a furious debate within the Haishan Government.

[Kharsus]

Kharsus is home to over 500 gulags. 30 of which were ranked in the WA's Top 50 Best Gulags of the World survey, taken in 1951.

[Mapletish]

Did you know almost all of the Mapletish people know at least 5 languagues?

[Warhaven]

The Bureaucracy was shocked today when the news reached the airwaves about an incident involving a professional impersonator, who was impersonating The Emperor.

It seems a young orphan boy, the last in the nation, left the crowd and went up on stage without authorization. He then hugged the impersonator's leg, and asked the man he thought was The Emperor if he would help him find a home and a family of his own, or at least a big jar of candy.

Much to his dismay, the impersonator violently slapped the little 6 year old boy across the face and told him to go away.

Police quickly arrested the impersonator.

When the real Emperor heard the news, he was heard as remarking

"Maybe I should violently slap him around like he did that boy, see how he likes it."

He is now considering what to do with the impersonator.

[Soviet Grazeland]

The Communist Party of Grazeland has announced a new national infrastructure project that will produce a more efficient and eco-friendly mass transit along with a production of new Tenement Buildings and State Hospitals. Recent statements on the economy of The People's Republic of Grazeland have stated that the GDP of the nation is growing due to Tourism and international sales of popular Grazish literature and art.

[GOLTZBORG]

The poor of Goltzborg out-number the extreme rich by a margin / factor of 17,000+ to 1 or less.

[Ruskarkand]

To help deal with his temporary misery and PTSD, our leader 'Storm' has got a pet Snork.
He has named it Squeaks, due to the slight squeak it makes when it breathes through the mask.

[New Acardia]

All the churches in Government City have put on a joint Palm Sunday percussion between National House( the President's House) and National Hall (The place where Parliament meets)

[Vertuna]

Music producers are at their 10-year peak of profits.

[Maraque]

The Advisory of Internal Affairs certified the signatures of the citizen's initiative to eliminate the higher chamber of the Royal Legislature. Call centers, the administration website, polling stations, and text voting is now open for Referendum Wednesday for the final results. Voting has already been brisk throughout the day, with over 400 million votes cast, according to the Advisory.

[Seperate Vermont]

The Minority Leader today was thrown out of the first story window of the Office of the President. There is no confirmed report as to how and why.

[Maraque]

The Advisory of Health has received at least one report of "Whirnak Fever" from at least one foreign nation. They expect it is an isolated incident and do not believe it has spread elsewhere.

[The Philippiniada]

Rumors that the Empress and the President of the Empire are in a relationship, according to various showbiz websites in the Philippiniada. Both are still single and never married. As divorce is illegal in Philippiniada. Both the Malakanyang Palace and the Imperial Palace denied the issue.

[Fatatatutti]

The third movie in the Whirnak Trilogy began filming this week at various locations around Fatatatutti. The first two features, Alphonse and Whirnak's Excellent Adventure and Where's Whirnak? enjoyed unprecedented success at the box office and Whirak Fever is expected to follow suit.

In related news, the Fatatatutti Broadcasting Corporation (FBC) has announced plans for a new game show, Who Wants to be Thrown Out the Window?

[Ultamiya]

*sigh* Blackacre is back. That's what I heard from my Minister of Foreign Affairs, Michael Stochia. Apparently they sent out more people to kill me.

Whatever. We owned their faces back in February, let's do it again.



Caption: The estimated size of the Second Republic and the rumored capital city.

It's not like we were planning to take over that section of Pennsylvania, so...

[Lauralestria]

Lauralestria has puppet nations...

[Dai Coon Ree]

"Greetings and Salutations People of Dai Coon Ree,

the Ares System is suffering from a Solarflare which has disturbed the planetary Climate of *Anticus III.* The imperial Science Academy has send several Ships to observe the Phenomenon and to coordinate Rescue Missions for the Planets People.

The Senate has made way for the new "Education = Future" Project. This will allow more Schools being build, newer teaching Materials be used and more Slots for College Students. This Project was highly debatted and after some hard Words from our Highlord the Emperor some of the hardest debatted Issues have been solved quite swift.

Hallowed is the Empire!"

[Sarrowquand]

A riot nearly broke out in Megatrout City this afternoon when it was discovered that someone had replaced all of the ink in the Central Administration and Processing Office’s pens with invisible ink.

Over three thousand forms that had been filled that morning had already faded by the time the problem was discovered.

Megatrout City’s Director has pledged that her bureaucrats will work round the clock to clear the backlog.

[Segmentia]

A non-human was fowarded as a possible candidate for the Directorate Council . This as caused some discomfort, as even though the Directorate has passed into law that humans and non-humans are given the same rights and protections, the Directorate is still pro-human above anything else.

However, the Department of Internal Security has began a extenssive serch of the individuals past, so it is possible that the candidate will be voted into office.

[Seperate Vermont]

We are glad to announce that maple supplies are back to normal, and within the next week, everything maple should be running smoothly internationally.

[Lykosia]

After a long winter, we have entered spring as the transition between winter and summer which will come in 2 weeks.

[Maraque]

Tsvarchivans nationwide rejoiced at the news that maple products would soon begin to arrive at our ports, as major cases of 100% pure Vermont maple syrup withdrawal started setting in, making many of our chronically happy citizens a little grumpy.

In other news, torrential rainfall in Estakuri and Cuerak has flooded significant parts of those boroughs, although rainfall was about half of that seen in Darkaan, to the sadness of those in the area. They were hoping for at least the same amount.

[Fatatatutti]

The children's book Alphonse and Whirnak at the Maple Syrup Festival has gone into a second printing the day after it was released. The illustration of Alphonse licking a maple tree is a particular favourite.

In related news, the cessation of hostilities in the so-called "Maple Syrup War" has allowed maple syrup sales to return to near pre-war levels. Naval officials confirm that all vessels committed to the interdiction of the maple syrup trade have been reassigned to other duties.

[Amacrei]

Hit television show Track Me If You Can, widely regarded as one of the few "Reality TV" shows to gain any real popularity in the United States, is about to begin a second season.