The Daily Issues Thread [Read OP First]

[The Merchant Republics]

There is no such concept as jury duty in the Republics, generally most court systems (there are many) operate with professional jurors who are selected between the legal councillors for professionalism and lack of bias. In some very rare cases however, defendants have made a plea to appear before the forum or in very rare occasions the Senate itself to plead their case.

[Germoria]

The Kaleesh invented a "Art of War" way before man.

[Roma Occidentalis]

The Emperor Marcus Honorius Italicus has one Empress, Julia Antonia Victoria, but 9 concubines. He also has acknowledged siring seven children so far. Since he just married the Empress (who was the daughter of the late Emperor Julius Antonius Victor), all of the children are illegitimate issue of his concubines, whom he has not dismissed.

By all accounts, the Empress is a vivacious, friendly, easygoing woman less interested in protesting her husband's affairs and more interested in her own social life, though rumors of her being a lesbian have yet to be confirmed. There are other, contradictory claims about each of them, none of which the Emperor or Empress will confirm. In fact, all paparazzi and tabloid reporters are by law banned from the precincts of the Domus Publica, the new official residence of the Emperor in his role as Pontifex Maximus.

[Imeriata]

Most gossip magazines and even proper news papers in the federation reported that her royal princess was sick which caused quite a worry amongst most federal subjects until it was revealed that she simply had the common cold.

She did however revealed that it was nice that people got so worried.

[Germoria]

Most gossip magazines and even proper news papers in the federation reported that her royal princess was sick which caused quite a worry amongst most federal subjects until it was revealed that she simply had the common cold.

She did however revealed that it was nice that people got so worried.

While he does not condone your views of none Humans, Sheelal wishes her to be safe and hopes no disease would ever hurt her, he hopes the family may life in peace knowing she is perfectly fine from death.

[Greater Rhodes]

As of this year's official census Napolitano has surpassed Nieuw-Amsterdam as Greater Rhodes' largest metropolitan area.

[Vertuna]

When Vertuna's High Counselor has been asked why had the crime rate climbed from "unknown" to "relatively low",
he answered:
"We raised the IQ requirement of the Law Enforcement Officers, so some of them had to be pulled off for further training or reassigned.
This lead to some crime increase."

[Dai Coon Ree]

"With a great majority the imperial Senate has decided that we again will offer Gladiator Games for our Citizens amusements. Therefore the final Penalty of being consumed by the Combustion Chamber has been rendered Null.

The Emperor signed it with great pleasure and hopes that now Criminals, Scum and Untermenschen add at least one good thing to their miserable Lifes...Fun and Joy in fighting for the honorable Citizens entertainment! Those who refuse to fight will be executed immediately in a spectacular way... be surprised.

The Ship Traffic throughout Dai Coon Ree has turned again to normal Conditions as the Pirate Treat has been solved with the entire destruction of the Pirate Vessels near the Gallandon Core System, we hope that the merchant Ships and the Holiday cruises to Nova Berlin be profitable and joyfull again.

The Emperor anounced that all retired Members of the military now receive a increase of 5% in their monthly Pension. This is to show how gratefull the Empire is for the service performed.


Hallowed is the Empire!"

[Ruskarkand]

Today, another celebration was hosted, officially announcing the fith extinction of the human race in Ruskarkand.
Music played throughout the nation in celebration of our tremendous accomplishment.
The sales market for human meat shot up, it is the most common form of food in Ruskarkand now.

In the capital city, the military paraded through the streets in their graceful order, each proud to serve their nation.
Today is just another glorious day in the Dragoonian lands of Ruskarkand.

On that mark, a massive pile of human corpses has been created in an unknown area of Ruskarkand, amongst the pile, you can pick out greviously injured humans crawling about, crying for help.
This is in vein, as they are shortly eaten by snorks afterwards.

It is estimated that the corpse mound will be burnt to ashes within the coming days, after we have let the local snork populace feast.

[Thurask]

Preparations are underway to send the first Thuraski into space. A selection process has been undertaken among members of the Air SDF, and a pool of candidates has been chosen. These candidates will receive further training while the rocket being used is tested and tested to ensure that it will in fact enter space.

[Maraque]

The sensationalist media went crazy after a photograph of HRH Queen Jivani was published, with a very suspect belly bulge. They quickly spread rumors that she was pregnant.

The Queen's office denied such ridiculous rumors, reminding people she has not reached 'womanhood' yet. HRH King Whirnak's reply when he was confronted by paparazzi outside his residence was typical of the Boy King; "Ew, I didn't do that!" he was quoted as saying.

[Rusikstan]

Scientists at North Ridge Lab have created a unique virus that acts against the blood cells of an organism. The virus acts as a infector cell of the organisms white blood cells, and has had a noticeable effect on memory B & T cells such as inactivity and restriction of formation of them. The effect on white blood cells causes them to become phagocytic toward red blood cells, and in some cases bone marrow. The virus has been tenatively named Hemophagia.

[Fatatatutti]

Representatives of Alphonse have denied rumours that he is the father of Queen Jivani's baby, adding that it isn't even biologically possible. They declined to comment on why he has her phone number written on his foot.

[Maraque]

A citizen's initiative to eliminate the Royal Legislature's lower chamber is slowly but surely reaching the 1.6 billion signatures required to go on the ballot for Referendum Wednesday. The initiative seeks to create a unicameral legislature consisting of the higher chamber exclusively, to eliminate what the legislation calls "unneeded red tape."

[Zeth Rekia]

The production rates of armed spacecraft will increase by 5% this coming week due to new manufacturing tech being implemented into carriers.

[Doctor Insano]

my nation is once again at war with another small border country that was allowed to keep it's freedom. unfortunately they attempted to assassinate me via a clever but crude explosive device hidden in my toothbrush, fortunately the extra strength tooth paste i use seemed to make the charge inert the war on Blackacre will be a little longer as we've decided to annex the small nation rather than destroy it with nuclear weapons. we expect the entire offensive operation to be over in less than a week an occupying force will remain until civil order has been restored, citizens will then be added to the Cit-Track system.

[Legartashia]

In the HM Palace there were found 236 year old lost treasures.
The goverement are pleased to anounce that a jewerelly box with „dimond of peace" have been found in the cloackroom wall.
The cloackroom lady said that the builders came because of massive hole in the wall. „I was sceard that the wall would just fall on me! I told the head about it, so he called builders."

The builers found treasures and they were great enough to give it to the goverement! Who would top them from keeping it?

The mystery of the jewerely box goes back to tne 1800. The owner was a young lady Witers. The present, jewerely box was given to her by the duke of Novas. She accsepted the gift but did not want to marry him. The duke got angry and he forced biutefull lady to his palace. Before she went, she hid the box somewhere in the palace where no one knew.
Unfortunately the lady Witers was barbaricly killed by the duke after a week of imprisoment. The royal police catched him and executed in public.
But since then no one knew where the box was hidden. Some people even said that duke did not give the present... Well thanks to our builders. Now the box was send to the family Witers.

"Tochka" Newspaper

[Gwrachbyd]

early this morning at 0730 gwrachbyd launched the DSSP 1 automated supplystation, it is expected to reach mars orbit within 18 months where it will act as a supply and refuel point for the future cydonia 1 colony ship due to launch later this year.

[Warhaven]

In a record breaking announcement broadcast over The Network, famed anthropolgist Winston Charels claimed that he had found a live Snark for the first time in over a century of looking for the elusive creatures.

But the Snark was a Boojum you see, so he softly and quietly vanished away.

[Bratoslovoukia]

Our news today is that armed conflicts are taking place all over Bratoslovoukia increasingly.

[Maraque]

Five friends jumped off the top of the Nothandryun Financial Center this morning.

One of the men died when he landed on top of a spire of a building across the street. The others were successful in their attempts to miss obstacles and open their parachutes.

[GOLTZBORG]

A National Government Poll states that 10% of the population is bi-sexual.

[Seperate Vermont]

Dandelions are a very popular food in many parts of Vermont, and in some areas are eaten at least twice a day.

[Bears Armed]

Our most widely used calendar system doesn't feature 'leap years', with an added day each, instead it has 'luck years' that include an added week each...
Yes, just once every 28 years...

[Maraque]

A poll taken in all eight boroughs found an average of 96% approved of a citizen's initiative to eliminate the higher chamber of the Royal Legislature. 80,000 people took the poll.