Ridiculous things your military does

[Amerikians]

Oh the humanity. Laaaawl. Best Army of Napoleonic Europe was made of butchers and thieves. -Rofls.-

So was Prussia, except their guys found themselves in uniform when they regain consciousness rather then had a choice

One of the reasons why the French introduction of conscription fared well early on.

Yeah but Prussia never admitted it. lmao.

[Kavaccia]

Kavaccia's navy is noted for it's "don't ask, don't tell" policy regarding any man's ability to swim, as it is believed that knowing how to swim promotes cowardice. If they can swim, they may believe that abandoning ship is a better idea than fighting to the death.
As the majority of our ground forces (with the exception of our jaegers) are intended for peacekeeping and guarding important buildings, they have never had need of camouflage and still wear dress uniforms consisting of navy blue tailcoats and pale grey leggings in combat.
Due to the majority of military spending going towards bionics and biomechatronics, the armed forces have not been able to afford any advances in technology whatsoever in the past 35 years. This may be considered foolish, but recent scientific breakthroughs mean that all branches of the military will soon consist of, in the most basic terms, cyborgs.

[ImperialistSalvia]

You mean like how the troops stationed in major military bases get drunk on christmas and sing Madonna songs?

[Northern Itasca]

They spend a ton of money. Their budget is roughly 40% of our GDP so about $12,000,000,000,000.

[Devonshire County]

Our intelligence division uses up over half our anual military budget (67% as of last year). However mathematical models suggest that by intervening subtley, and avoiding any open war we have benifited profoundly - having a peaceful reputation, many governments that we secretly helped to establish, greatly reduced service casualties and feeling like ultimate clandestine world masters.
We aren't the loud ones who nuke you, we're ones that take out the powerful and let your own elements do the rest.

[Charlotina]

Should off kept the artillery crew forward, loaded with antipersonnel shells and it would have slaughtered the English lines.

Coulda', shoulda', woulda'...didn't. We'll never know.

[Cyreno-Libya]

Our border guards were drinking coke and tweeting all day, while three people crossed the borders at 3 AM. The crossers were lately captured, and the guards got a demotion and they had to do patrols in the desert along the border. Nothing worse tho

[Voek]

Meh, the charge of the light brigade was brilliant. God Bless the 13th Light Dragoons.

[Ramdheads]

We have C. Norris and don't use it.
Gooood we're sooo stupid!

[Gorgentia]

Our entire army is owned by a corporation that also makes furniture and kitchen ware.

[Sucrati]

Our military uses an explosive so potent one tank shell can lay waste to a city block :3

that is not ridiculous, that is entering wank territory.

It's not ridiculous, it's mostly just strange for outsiders to see. Our troops gather around campfires and joik. It boosts morale, and it helps preserve our troops' faith in culture.

Lapar have culture?

It doesn't mean I use it in a tank shell, I just was giving an example, think what your country could do with that kind of fire power (Its based off an FT explosive)

[The Anglo-Saxon Empire]

Meh, the charge of the light brigade was brilliant. God Bless the 13th Light Dragoons.

Not really, it was a terrible miscommunication that lead to heavy losses that would have been higher if Russians weren't awful soldiers. The thin red line and chrage of the heavy brigade were much better.

[OMGeverynameistaken]

Not so much discipline as morale. Redcoats weren't particularly disciplined considering it was made up of the absolute vermin of Britain that gave even poor Wellesy the fits at points, when they looted and plundered instead of advanced, and shot their own officers.

Oh the humanity. Laaaawl. Best Army of Napoleonic Europe was made of butchers and thieves. -Rofls.-

Here we go with the 'British were the best army' again.[/sigh]
Notahistoricaldebatethreatnotahistoricaldebatethreadnotahistoricaldebatethread.

[Amerikians]

Oh the humanity. Laaaawl. Best Army of Napoleonic Europe was made of butchers and thieves. -Rofls.-

Here we go with the 'British were the best army' again.[/sigh]
Notahistoricaldebatethreatnotahistoricaldebatethreadnotahistoricaldebatethread.

Indeed it isn't; the long string of smushed up words didn't help by the by, and for the record the 'best army in Europe' thread was whut? The Pruessen Kaiserliche Heer That is to say; The Prussian Imperial Army, that is to say, THE GERMANS. Not the English.

ON TOPIC:

Maritime Rangers carry large amounts of chewing gum with them, and proceed to use it as currency in foreign theatres.

[OMGeverynameistaken]

Here we go with the 'British were the best army' again.[/sigh]
Notahistoricaldebatethreatnotahistoricaldebatethreadnotahistoricaldebatethread.

Indeed it isn't; the long string of smushed up words didn't help by the by, and for the record the 'best army in Europe' thread was whut? The Pruessen Kaiserliche Heer That is to say; The Prussian Imperial Army, that is to say, THE GERMANS. Not the English.

ON TOPIC:

Maritime Rangers carry large amounts of chewing gum with them, and proceed to use it as currency in foreign theatres.

Ahahaha, oh, that's a good joke.

But seriously. I'm done.

[Rain Rangers]

people are out thru brutal training more hrush then any in our region

[Saurisisia]

people are out thru brutal training more hrush then any in our region

Is it as brutal as your spelling?

[Tappahannock]

people are out thru brutal training more hrush then any in our region

Is it as brutal as your spelling?

I find that highly unlikely, since the spelling in question is so brutal as to make it hard to even grasp what has been said, if in fact anything has been said.

Rain Rangers, speaking with all due seriousness, might I suggest that you use a good word processor? Microsoft Word, perhaps?

[The Soviet Technocracy]

i agree but thats alot of stuff to take out

Two for the price of one, mate. The original M-1 Abrams with all of it's crappy systems and computer problems and it's 105mm shell can annihilate an M-4 Sherman AND the T-34 right behind it. It's not that much to take out once you consider the advancement in armament, armor and power projection.

A Sherman Firefly, with a veteran crew of the European theatre v. An M1 Abrams crew fresh out of Knox and sitting on the Berlin Wall.

Yeah, the Sherman any day.

[Tappahannock]

A Sherman Firefly, with a veteran crew of the European theatre v. An M1 Abrams crew fresh out of Knox and sitting on the Berlin Wall.

Yeah, the Sherman any day.

Do you know how rare the Firefly was, compared to the original Sherman? That, combined with other factors, leads me to side with the Abrams.

Ridiculous thing, depending on who you are: Conscription laws do not apply to women...yet.

[The Soviet Technocracy]

Do you know how rare the Firefly was, compared to the original Sherman? That, combined with other factors, leads me to side with the Abrams.

Ridiculous thing, depending on who you are: Conscription laws do not apply to women...yet.

That's not the point, though, is it? A veteran tank crew who knows what their machine can do will probably be able to beat a tank crew fresh out of armour school with no real combat experience.

[Tipidemica]

Nothing. Tipidemica's Military does nothing because it doesn't exist as a nation.

[Oterro]

Indeed; again I point you to discipline however. In the words of some Yank. "It makes small numbers formidable, ----" Something something because I sadly forget the rest.

Not so much discipline as morale. Redcoats weren't particularly disciplined considering it was made up of the absolute vermin of Britain that gave even poor Wellesy the fits at points, when they looted and plundered instead of advanced, and shot their own officers.

"We have recruited the scum of the earth as our army," ~ Arthur Wellesley.
Of course, most people "forget" to add the second part of the quote, "But what wonderful chaps we have made of them".

They did fire grapeshot into the advancing english. They filled up the holes in their lines and continued forward.

Hence the 20% casualties

English? You mean Indian and Scottish of course.

Meh, the charge of the light brigade was brilliant. God Bless the 13th Light Dragoons.

"It is beautiful, but it is not war"

[Khornate Worshippers]

This sums up pretty well how the army works for the Worshippers of Khorne.

You consider yourself soldiers? Having two arms and legs, a head and a lasgun does not make you a soldier! Soldiers must prove themselves. You are maggots, crawling gross in the Blood God's garden. This is a war, and such wars feed on maggots. Do you want to be ork fodder? Make no mistake, these creatures eat maggots for breakfast! It is time to prove yourselves! It is a time to goad destiny and die for the cause. Follow me, maggots, and prove yourselves soldiers, every last one of you!
- Commissar Haight, just before the glorious charge of the Khornate 1st, their first and last action.

[The Parthians]

What measures, tactics, weapons, armour, etc, does your military use that is reasonable in context, but to the passerby would be completely insane?

In the Defesian air force, for example, planes are not equipped with ejection seats. If the plane malfunctions or is shot down over friendly territory, the only thing a pilot can do is pray to whatever Deity he things will help him survive a crash landing. This feature was taken out of aircraft on the justification that there can be no possibility of the enemy interrogating the pilot and wrenching out valuable information from him.

Standard operating procedure for taking a densely populated urban area involves heavy use of VX and other chemical weapons. Followed up by armor and dismounted infantry thrusts through wider streets, with regular use of thermobaric demolition charges to clear out sewers and buildings along the way. Usually results in the deaths of well over 90% of the civilian population which doesn't evacuate in the process.

We also use tactical nuclear artillery shells to tear open chunks of a front line to allow a mass armored breakthrough. It's even lulzier.