Ridiculous things your military does

[Oterro]

Unless you count the fact that we like to fight at night when possible as ridiculous, we have nothing to put here.

~ Colonel Fulvio Amjad Genovese

Yes you do old chap, Fulvio is a bloody ridiculous name.

Arthur Rye, Colonel of His Majesty's 22nd regiment of foot.

[Oterro]

Noted.

That's why you desensitize your regiments by having them execute any convicts sentenced to death row at home.

Or by recruiting rapists, murderers and the general scum of society.

[Tursanay]

Unless you count the fact that we like to fight at night when possible as ridiculous, we have nothing to put here.

~ Colonel Fulvio Amjad Genovese

Yes you do old chap, Fulvio is a bloody ridiculous name.

Arthur Rye, Colonel of His Majesty's 22nd regiment of foot.

Repeat your own name often enough, and it'll start to sound pretty damn silly...and who the devil names a nation Oterro?

~ Colonel Fulvio Amjad Genovese, 1st Battalion, 1st Paratroopers Brigade

[The Corparation]

Drummer boys aren't armed and thus aren't combatants. Using your logic it is okay to shoot unarmed medics.

Every medic that dies there goes every man he could've saved.

But it also means that you don't have those people being carried of the battle field, reducing the men fighting you by at least one or two men. Its best to seriously wound your opponent, then not only do you neutralize him, you neutralize many of his squad mates as they are forced to carry him to safety.

[OMGeverynameistaken]

The difference is insane. I'm by no means an expert on military, well, anything really and even I can see it. The Americans look...bored!

Most pof them weren't staring straight ahead, I bit of the Welsh were doing that either.

That's just the Russian drill style. The NCOs and officers look straight ahead while the regulars turn their heads to face the stand.

[Oterro]

Yes you do old chap, Fulvio is a bloody ridiculous name.

Arthur Rye, Colonel of His Majesty's 22nd regiment of foot.

Repeat your own name often enough, and it'll start to sound pretty damn silly...and who the devil names a nation Oterro?

~ Colonel Fulvio Amjad Genovese, 1st Battalion, 1st Paratroopers Brigade

God knows old chap, not me, that's for certain! This nose is kept firmly facing the foe, not in the dusty leaves of some ancient history tome, wot!

Arthur Rye, Colonel of His Majesty's 22nd regiment of foot.

(Don't take it seriously brah, t'is all in good fun.)

How would you ensure their loyalty?

Quite easily

By letting them rape and murder foreigners and giving 'em medals for it

This, and threatening to whip the hide from them if they don't do as their told.

[The Anglo-Saxon Empire]

Or by recruiting rapists, murderers and the general scum of society.

How would you ensure their loyalty?

Various ways, tell them about the retarded level of brutality of NS armies, have NCOs watch over them, reward them for their service more than the enemy ever would. Also, allowing to kill and rape foreigners like NN said.

[The Merchant Republics]

Quite easily

By letting them rape and murder foreigners and giving 'em medals for it

And you call yourselves civilized!

Well they are foreigners after all, although I suspect that NN would say that his man never rape women (because they having weak foreign husbands would want it).


We however, just pay them.

A comprimise of technology and tradition; many regiments encourage their men to play their own music to a certain volume on their comm-systems, the music cuts out whenever someone talks with it or orders are given.

[OMGeverynameistaken]

And you call yourselves civilized!

It is perfectly civilised to politely ask the enemy to step out of their cities and fight fairly on an open field or otherwise that we can make no guarantee that the emotional burden that our men take assaulting fortified locations will notresult in certain depraved activities in vengeance on the surviving populace.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_B ... %281812%29

This, I can say with all honesty, has a strong historical precedent, dating back to before the Crusades, even into Roman times. Enemy cities and forts that surrendered without forcing an assault were usually treated with mercy, the soldiers were more often than not paroled back to their own side (they left their weapons behind and were allowed to march back to friendly territory).

Likewise, if they city or fort didn't give up, everybody inside was slaughtered. A famous example of this was when the Christians took Jerusalem. The Muslims didn't surrender, so they sacked the city. When the Muslims retook the city, it surrendered, and thus was not sacked. Thus leading to the common misconception that Saladin was somehow especially merciful

[The Vermin]

MASTRUBATION is a standard drill.

[Kirav]

Those who enlist in the Kiravian Military must suspend their state citizenship, and adopt a special Federal citizenship for the duration of their service. The military has a seat in the Cambrium (legislature) which is elected by the troops.

There is an odd, somewhat archæic political reason for this, but it's not worth explaining.

Beer is part of standard rations for the Army, and wine is standard-issue for the Navy. In fact, Kiravia being a primarily beer-drinking nation, the Federal Navy consumes 23% of all wine in the Federacy.

We also do not see a clear distinction between service branches. It is not uncommon for one to be assigned to an Army unit after enlistment, and then be transferred to a naval unit. Those in the Air Corps, however, rarely transfer out of it.

[Democratic Koyro]

Every so often when the Labour Camps are getting very nearly full the army will use the prisoners as target practice. moving targets are better than stationary ones, after all!

[Vampiric empire]

they kill everything that moves in their range

[Southern Patriots]

I'll further add that good drill and practice increase the overall perception of your military as competent.

Compare these two videos:
2009 inagural parade in the US
The West Point fellows (or marines? I can't tell.) at the start of the video are alright, but things just go downhill from there. The group at about 1:40 is simply pathetic. Whoever taught them to march should be demoted and possibly shot.

Speaking of the group at 1:40, does the US Army still do that Buffalo soldier program? Because those front lines didn't seem representative of what I'm sure is a diverse military.

In fact, it almost seemed like they had a theme in their march for the first mixed race president. Just freeze it at 1:43.

[Saint-Sebastian]

All military recruits go through a medical review which includes watching porn. This is part of an appraisal process to ensure recruits are homosexually attracted.

[Helghast empire]

All military recruits go through a medical review which includes watching porn. This is part of an appraisal process to ensure recruits are homosexually attracted.

very...wonderfully..disturbing ( not the homosexual part i don't judge, but the fact that you watch porn to it )...so you rape male prisoners of war?...i'd rather kill then do that..

[The 13 races]

we send with our robotic army...organic generals!!!

[Greater Slobbovia]

All military recruits go through a medical review which includes watching porn. This is part of an appraisal process to ensure recruits are homosexually attracted.

Hypocrisy like this is why we still do not permit homosexuals to serve in the military.

Five regiments of Grenadiers have been revived in the Slobbovian Army...including the bearskins and capes. Thankfully, these are dress uniform implements, nothing more.

[Tsarist China]

All military recruits go through a medical review which includes watching porn. This is part of an appraisal process to ensure recruits are homosexually attracted.

you must indoctrinate all of your homosexual population into the armed forces then

what of bisexuals?

[Sitkae]

Although it isn't official standard issue, some of our Shock troopers and marines have a tendency to put chainsaws on their rifles, some even put chainsaws on on just about anything else, Shotgun, Rocket launcher, sniper rifle, you name it, some guy is gonna put a chainsaw on it one day.

[Northwest Americana]

In any branch of the Grand Forces of the Citizens' Republic, wearing a purple cockade or any other purple article of clothing will likely have you court-marshaled for "royalist sympathies" or otherwise treated unpleasantly by your superiors. Purple, given that if was the official color of the monarchy and the flag of the former Dominion, is essentially de facto banned in Americanan military forces due to their roots in populist militia culture.

[Kyraina]

all soldiers are paid higher the all poltical figures minus the President of our country

[Amerikians]

all soldiers are paid higher the all poltical figures minus the President of our country

Not seeing the ridiculousness here. In fact I think it's not a halfbad idea; I know damn well I would desire a decent pay if it were my job to get shot at liberally.

[Shia Yahyastan]

Stops drilling five times a day for prayer.

[OMGeverynameistaken]

Stops drilling five times a day for prayer.

You should make prayer part of the drill! That'd be damned impressive.