Ministry of Timeless Affairs of East Plate [Open to All]

by **East Plate** » Tue Sep 06, 2022 1:04 pm

78 Wade Lane, City of Montevideo,
Capital Territory, East Plate.
5 September, 1876

Sir/Madam;

It is with great pleasure that the Ministry of Timeless Affairs of the Crown Colony of East Plate sends you this humble letter, on request of His Excellency the Right Honourable Lucas Higgins, Governor of East Plate, acting on behalf of Her Britannic Majesty Queen Victoria, to convey to you an invitation to participate on our international outreach program in order to exchange information and establish new diplomatic ventures between the Colonial Government of East Plate and your most distinguished government.

We know you are probably extremely confused by this letter, but we urge you not to discard it yet, as it is not some kind of tasteless joke, even if the paper on which these words have been written does not seem to be older than a few weeks and the pristine condition of the envelope which held this piece of paper seems more likely to be from your own time rather than the long gone 19th century. Do not be confused by our modern use of the English language, this is certainly not our first encounter with the future, and it is also not going to be the last. You are not crazy either, nor are your eyes playing a trick on your tired mind; you are reading this letter completely right. This has been sent to you from the year 1876 by a government of a now presumably long-gone colony, all whose members, authorities, and subjects have now been laid to rest for a very long time.

We urge you not to waste valuable time trying to make sense of this or investigating the motives and ways in which we have managed to reach you. You are free to submit this letter through all kinds of tests and meticulous studies that your current technology may allow you, but all will confirm that the words written on it are sincere and that no trickery has been involved while writing it. However, we respect and understand that you may still need to reach that conclusion on your own, so we will not pressure you and wait for you to reach us back when you are ready.

Why are we contacting you?

If you did not toss this letter to the nearest bin yet, it is likely you are wondering why this long-gone colonial government is trying to contact you in modern times. Well, it is simple, and it all comes down to time. Throughout our history, we have faced many enemies: the Spanish, the Portuguese, the Gauchos, and an innumerable plethora of different diseases that have decimated our population for years. However, our biggest enemy is not them, but time. You see, death does not scare us, it is simply inevitable. It will arrive sooner or later, no matter who you are, how wealthy you are, or where you come from. It is just a matter of time and there is nothing we can do to prevent that.

Nevertheless, there is a thing that we can prevent, and that is being forgotten. That is why we have created the Ministry of Timeless Affairs, a ministry tasked with making sure that our legacy is not forgotten by future generations by reminding them who we were allowing them to ask us anything they might want to know about us, giving you and your government the unique opportunity to be one of the few selected to make this possible.

What can you do with the Ministry?

As we said, our aim is to fight the ever-looming threat of being forgotten, and for that, we have made several things available for your government to help us to fight our greatest enemy. As of now, His Excellency the Right Honourable Lucas Higgins, Governor of East Plate, and the Right Honourable Sebastian Lockhart, the Colonial Secretary (that is the Prime Minister in your modern terminology) have allowed the Ministry to engage foreign governments in the following ways:

Answer any questions that you may have about us;
Establish a Cultural and Diplomatic Legation in your nation; and
Provide you with unrestricted access to our National Archive
Please keep in mind that in order to prevent any disruptions from happening in your timeline and prevent you from putting your own existence at risk by triggering a massive butterfly event that could erase you from the face of Earth, we do not accept embassies, diplomatic personnel, or any object other than the strictly necessary to keep these communications possible to be sent back to East Plate, nor will we accept you providing us with any information that could change the course of history by revealing anything that has not yet happened in our timeline to us. The fate of East Plate is already written in history, and there is nothing you can do to change it. Any attempt to do it will result in the immediate termination of the communications between you and the Ministry of Timeless Affairs.

How does all of this work?

Absolutely not a time machine!
For obvious reasons we are not allowed to publicly reveal the exact details that have allowed us to establish this connection with you, as the possible consequences of that information falling into the wrong hands could have devastating results for humanity. However, we are more than happy to provide you with all the information needed to contact us again. The process is fairly easy, although its difficulty may vary depending on your geographical location. In order to contact the Ministry of Timeless Affairs you have to:

1) Write down your questions or request for a Cultural and Diplomatic Legation according to the forms we have attached in this letter (see below);

2) Make sure you did not include anything revealing any information from the future to us. (if you do, your request/question will not be answered for your own safety)

3) Leave the question/request on an envelope near the mausoleum erected in memory of Ms. Hannah Courtoy in Brompton Cemetery, Fulham Road, London. We have attached a drawing of the mausoleum on the right for your reference (please note that according to your timeline, the mausoleum may have suffered modifications). If said place no longer exists, never existed, or is impossible to access, leave the envelope at the closest accessible place. A member of the Ministry of Timeless Affairs will find a way to collect the envelope.
If you followed the instructions detailed above correctly, the Ministry of Timeless Affairs will soon contact you again. Please refrain from investigating the place or making any inquiries about the subject to local historians/cemetery enthusiasts/tour guides or anyone who may know more than you about time travel, and, above all, do not search anything related to Hannah Courtoy, Joseph Bonomi or Samuel Warner on that little pesky thing that you call "The Internet."

We are looking forward to hearing from you again.
Yours Sincerely;

Theodore Campbell
Mɪɴɪsᴛᴇʀ ᴏғ Tɪᴍᴇʟᴇss Aғғᴀɪʀs

Form to request a Cultural and Diplomatic Legation
Use this form to request the Ministry of Timeless Affairs to establish a Cultural and Diplomatic Legation of East Plate in your nation.
You may publish the completed form as a response to this thread or send a telegram to East Plate with the information requested in the form.
Please note that you are allowed (and encouraged) to use your own formatting and design while making posts in this thread, this form is just a suggestion to make it easier for you to contact us.

Code: Select all: [pre][align=center][img]https://i.imgur.com/paqzzIu.png[/img] [size=125][b]Establishment of Cultural and Diplomatic Legation[/b][/size] [size=75][i]This is an official document of the Ministry of Timeless Affairs of East Plate[/i][/size][/align][hr][/hr] [b]SECTION I - GENERAL INFORMATION[/b][hr][/hr][i] [b] Name of the requesting nation (include pretitle):[/i][/b] [YOUR ANSWER HERE] [b][i] Where is your nation located?:[/i][/b] [YOUR ANSWER HERE] [b][i] From which year are you contacting us?:[/i][/b] [YOUR ANSWER HERE] [b][i] Why do you want us to establish a Cultural and Diplomatic Legation in your nation?:[/i][/b] [YOUR ANSWER HERE - THIS QUESTION IS OPTIONAL TO ANSWER] [hr][/hr] [b]SECTION II - ON HOW TO CONTACT YOU[/b][hr][/hr] [b][i] Please provide us with instructions to be able to contact you:[/i][/b] [YOUR ANSWER HERE - LINK TO YOUR EMBASSY EXCHANGE PROGRAM OR ADD INSTRUCTIONS FOR US TO FOLLOW ON HOW TO ESTABLISH AN EMBASSY ON YOUR NATION] [b][i] Do you have any special requests?:[/i][/b] [YOUR ANSWER HERE] [hr][/hr] [b]SECTION III - NOTIFICATION OF RISKS AND DANGERS [/b][hr][/hr] [b][i] Do you understand the risks linked to possible disruptions in your timeline by contacting the past?:[/i][/b] [YES/NO] [b][i] Do you understand that you must not intentionally provide us with information about the future other than the strictly allowed?:[/i][/b] [YES/NO] [b][i] Do you understand that you must not investigate the Ministry of Timeless Affairs and its ways to contact you?:[/i][/b] [YES/NO] [hr][/hr]The Ministry of Timeless Affairs reserves the right to refuse to initiate further communications with your nation even if this form is filled correctly.[/pre]

Form to make an inquiry to the Ministry of Timeless Affairs
Use this form to make any questions about East Plate to the Ministry of Timeless Affairs.
You may publish the completed form as a response to this thread or send a telegram to East Plate with the information requested in the form.
Before you submit a question, we recommend you to look at our National Archive first.
Please note that you are allowed (and encouraged) to use your own formatting and design while making posts in this thread, this form is just a suggestion to make it easier for you to contact us.

Code: Select all: [pre][align=center][img]https://i.imgur.com/paqzzIu.png[/img] [size=125][b]Inquieries for the Ministry of Timeless Affairs[/b][/size] [size=75][i]This is an official document of the Ministry of Timeless Affairs of East Plate[/i][/size][/align][hr][/hr][i] [b] Name of the asking nation (include pretitle):[/i][/b] [YOUR ANSWER HERE] [b][i] List your questions below:[/i][/b] (you may add as much questions as needed) 1.- [QUESTION HERE] 2.- [QUESTION HERE] 3.- [QUESTION HERE] [b][i] Would you like to be notified via Telegram when your questions have been answered?:[/i][/b] [YES/NO] [hr][/hr]The Ministry of Timeless Affairs reserves the right to refuse to initiate further communications with your nation even if this form is filled correctly.[/pre]

DISCLAIMER:
This is purely NON-CANON in the Eastplatine universe. The Eastplatines cannot send you letters from the past nor can they time travel. They are just a simple and classic 19th-Century colonial nation, with more or less the same technology a nation in our timeline would have. This is just meant as a fun way to allow me to interact with other nations in this forum that may not exist in East Plate's current year (which as you probably know, is literally most of the nations on this site). I will answer all your questions in character, and all interactions between East Plate and your nation will be in character, but they will NOT be considered canon for me (meaning that I will not include any interactions that our nations may have in my "official lore"). You are however more than welcome to consider anything of this canon for your nation, I'm not going to dictate how you decide to play this game or how you want to develop your nation.

I did not understand anything. What is this?: This is another Embassy "Exchange" Program thread, where you can ask East Plate to establish an Embassy (known as "Cultural and Diplomatic Legation") in your nation. This also officiates as an inquiries thread, where you can also make me any questions you might want to make about East Plate (in-character!). As East Plate is not your typical modern-tech nation, I decided that its Embassy Exchange Program would also have to be atypical.

Will you answer all questions?: I will try to answer them all, assuming I get a normal amount of questions, as long as I have free time to answer them. As stated in the letter from the Ministry of Timeless Affairs, I won't answer questions asking about the future of East Plate, or anything that may include references to the future. All questions must be regarding the past of East Plate, or its present.

Can I make an OOC question? Yes, but not in this thread, please. Feel free to send me a telegram and I'll be happy to answer.

Can I have an embassy in East Plate? No. You don't want the future to interact and potentially change the past.

by **East Plate** » Tue Sep 06, 2022 1:09 pm

Lᴇɢᴀᴛɪᴏɴs ᴇsᴛᴀʙʟɪsʜᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ Mɪɴɪsᴛʀʏ ᴏғ Tɪᴍᴇʟᴇss Aғғᴀɪʀs

Lᴇɢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ Cᴏᴍᴍᴏɴᴡᴇᴀʟᴛʜ ᴏғ Iɴsᴜʟᴀᴍɪᴀ

In charge of Minister Melville Woolahan - Est. 8 Sept. 1876 | Travelled to 2022

Melville Woolahan born in London in 1843, is the eldest son of William Woolahan, and Mary Woolahan, whose maiden name was Roberts. He was sent to Montevideo as a young child, and his parents subsequently settled to live in Darlington, Province of Enfield. Woolahan studied law at the Royal University of Montevideo and became a lawyer in 1866, although he never really worked as a lawyer, instead focusing on his passion: Egyptology. He has travelled several times to Egypt as part of several expeditions under the command and patronage of other wealthy travellers and egyptologists. During his visits to Egypt, he has written several novels inspired by the tales of pharaohs and early Egyptians, achieving moderate success in East Plate. His manuscripts included many references and drawings, recording monuments and inscriptions, and making a large number of architectural plans. In addition to his passion for Egypt, he has a deep interest in world history, and in particular, the history of the pre-British East Plate. He never married nor had any children, and had a very small group of friends, with most information about him being known thanks to his manuscripts and novels. Woolahan disappeared leaving no trails in 1876 after travelling to London. He was reportedly last seen around the outskirts of London carrying a suspiciously large suitcase.

(Biography of Melville Woolahan) (Link)

Lᴇɢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ Tʜᴇ Dɪᴇʀᴇsɪs-Hᴏʟʏ Eᴍᴘɪʀᴇ ᴏғ Wᴏᴄʜᴀʏsᴛᴇɪɴ

In charge of Minister Frederick Toll - Est. 12 Sept. 1876 | Travelled to 1876

Mr. Toll was born in the town of Millstone, Province of New Surrey, East Plate the 6th of April 1841 to Edward Toll, a woolcomber, and Jessie Toll. He showed at an early age a remarkable gift for languages and portraiture, with a friend of his father enabling him to study medicine in Montevideo and later Edinburgh. He has made several trips to India, Australia, and New Zealand as Assistant Surgeon on board various ships of the Royal Navy, as well as regular trips to the Falkland Islands on ships of the Colonial Navy of East Plate. It was whilst on one of his travels to India that he began studying the Persian language as well as other oriental languages, becoming friends with Sir Luke Fillanes, a collector and keen amateur artist interested in Egyptology. Both became very close and developed a passion for painting, among many other things, Egyptian landscapes and hieroglyphics, although initially, these consisted of figures invented by him and his partner, without any meaning, but becoming very appraised among Montevideans and Londoners. Toll married Jane Maynard on 4 October 1867 at Montevideo. Together they have two sons and one daughter: Frederick, George, and Julia. He was sent, together with his family, to Wochaystein in 1876.

(Link)

Aʀᴄʜɪᴠᴇ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ Mɪɴɪsᴛʀʏ ᴏғ Tɪᴍᴇʟᴇss Aғғᴀɪʀs

As part of the services provided to you by the Ministry of Timeless Affairs, we have granted you full access to the archives of all the unclassified correspondence sent by the Ministry to other governments. The Ministry's resources are limited and we would greatly appreciate it if you would take the time to verify that your query has not already been answered in the past before submitting a new inquiry to the Ministry.

by **Insulamia** » Thu Sep 08, 2022 6:26 am

9 September 1876 A.D., 12:09 local time
78 Wade Lane, Montevideo, Capital Territory, East Plate
Best viewed in light mode, 'cause that's the colour of paper

A letter is delivered to the office of the Minister of Timeless Affairs.

‎

FROM THE DESK OF THE PRESIDENT
1 Road of the Republic, Cabot

***INSTRUCTIONS FOR MESSENGER***
GO TO MONTEVIDEO, EAST PLATE, MORNING OF 7 SEPTEMBER 1876
ASK DIRECTIONS TO POST OFFICE (SPEAK ENGLISH) AND TRAVEL THERE
PURCHASE ONE PENNY STAMP AND STICK ONTO ENVELOPE
INSERT INTO A MAILBOX
RETURN A.S.A.P.

PRESIDENT OF INSULAMIA8 September 2022 A.D.

His Excellency Edward de Saint-Pierre

Dear Minister,

May you excuse my use of my native dialect of the English language. I am Edward de Saint-Pierre, the president of
the Commonwealth of Insulamia. Insulamia is a nation located on an island in the North Atlantic Ocean where time
presently reads on anno Domini two thousand and twenty-two.

I write this letter on behalf of the Government of Insulamia and my co-head-of-state Queen Elizabeth II.
Considering the special circumstances of this matter, it has been promoted to my office, as we do not yet have a
department to manage such peculiar matters concerning things such as interdimensional and temporal travel.

Nevertheless, I would like to request a cultural and diplomatic legateship on behalf of Insulamia. Reading
through your National Archives and your letter, I believe that to learn more about East Plate would be of great
interest and benefit to both our government and the Insulamian people. And, like you say, it would also preserve
your nation to some everinobscurity as time marches relentlessly on.

About my country of Insulamia, as aforementioned, she is an island nation in the North Atlantic Ocean, south of
the island of Greenland. It appears that, after looking through the Eastplatine National Archives and researching
with my own historical resources, Insulamia does not exist in your 'universe', not even as an island. Where it
is supposed to be is mapped simply as empty sea. Likewise, however, East Plate does not and has never existed in
the 'timeline' in which I reside. It would seem that any information I have about my time is invalid for you, and
anything that my information does change about East Plate will not affect my Insulamia. Nonetheless, I shall be
delicate in my handling of information, lest it, against all odds, results in severe consequences. Therefore, I
will end my reportage on my nation here, unless you request more information or explore Insulamia's own national
'factbooks' with caution at your own risk.

Attached in the envelope are the required forms for the legation request. May this be the commencing of a
flourishful relationship between us, our governments, and our countries.

Signed,

His Excellency Edward de Saint-Pierre
President of Insulamia

Her Majesty Elizabeth II
Queen of Insulamia
‎


Establishment of Cultural and Diplomatic Legation
This is an official document of the Ministry of Timeless Affairs of East Plate
  SECTION I - GENERAL INFORMATION

 Name of the requesting nation: Commonwealth of Insulamia/République Insulamienne
 Where is your nation located?: A small island in the North Atlantic Ocean.
 From which year are you contacting us?: 2022 A.D.
 Why do you want us to establish a Cultural and Diplomatic Legation in your nation?:
 Mentioned in attached letter. Learning of the past and of other worlds is of great interest to the government and
 the people of Insulamia, and it can also aid Eastplatine goals of timelessness.

  SECTION II - ON HOW TO CONTACT YOU

 Please provide us with instructions to be able to contact you:
 We do not have much knowledge on interdimensional communication routes, so please contact us with any means
 necessary (whether by telegramme, in this 'thread', et cetera). If East Plate wants to establish an embassy in
 modern Insulamia (for whatever reason), vou can do so here.
 Do you have any special requests?: Not yet.

  SECTION III - NOTIFICATION OF RISKS AND DANGERS 

 Do you understand the risks linked to possible disruptions in your timeline by contacting the past?:  YES
 Do you understand that you must not intentionally provide us with information about the future other than the
 strictly allowed?:  YES
 Do you understand that you must not investigate the Ministry of Timeless Affairs and its ways to contact you?:
 YES

The Ministry of Timeless Affairs reserves the right to refuse to initiate further communications with your nation
even if this form is filled correctly.

by **Aldiburgh** » Thu Sep 08, 2022 6:29 am

Pinning my post so I can come back later after work. Do not mind this message, scroll past it.

by **Insulamia** » Fri Sep 09, 2022 6:07 pm

10 September 1876 A.D., 14:15 local time
78 Wade Lane, Montevideo, Capital Territory, East Plate
A reply to the Ministry's latest communication

A telegramme is delivered to the office of the Minister of Timeless Affairs.

‎
East Plate  Post Office.
TELEGRAM   ‎
‎ Office of Origin.

 GPO LONDON
‎ ‎ To:
 MINISTER THEODORE CAMPBELL
    78 WADE LANE
       MONTEVIDEO. ‎ Date Entered.

 09/09/1876
‎ ‎ Words.

 69
‎ ‎ Date Stamp.


‎

   10 SEPTEMBER 2022

YOUR MESSAGE IS RECEIVED STOP WE TRYING NEW COMMUNICATION METHOD THROUGH TELEGRAMME FROM INSULAMIA STOP WE HAVE NOT
YET ABLE TO CONTACT WOOLAHAN STOP CO HEAD OF STATE QUEEN ELIZABETH DIED YESTERDAY BEFORE I RECEIVED YOUR MESSAGE
STOP HOWEVER I THINK IT WAS COINCIDENCE NO MATTER STOP WE WILL HAVE 5 HOLIDAYS MOURNING ELIZABETH SO UNABLE TO
PROCESS YOUR EMBASSY UNTIL 13 SEPTEMBER STOP APOLOGIES STOP

         EDWARD DE SAINT PIERRE
            PRESIDENT OF INSULAMIA





‎

by **United Eastern Vodia** » Fri Sep 09, 2022 6:18 pm

[pre]

Inquieries for the Ministry of Timeless Affairs
This is an official document of the Ministry of Timeless Affairs of East Plate

Name of the asking nation (include pretitle): The Rogue Nation of United Eastern Vodia
List your questions below:[/i]
1.- Who would be the primary leader of your society?
2.- What would you say are the present threats facing your nation?
3.- How did your nation form and what additional history is there surrounding its formation?

by **East Plate** » Fri Sep 09, 2022 10:55 pm

This is a response to the last correspondence from the Government of Insulamia

by **East Plate** » Fri Sep 09, 2022 10:58 pm

This is a response to the last correspondence from the Government of United Eastern Vodia

78 Wade Lane, City of Montevideo,
Capital Territory, East Plate.
10 September, 1876

Sir/Ma'am;

The Ministry of Timeless Affairs has correctly received your inquiries. We are happy to know that The Rogue Nation of United Eastern Vodia is interested in learning about our colony. We have forwarded your questions to different professionals who would be more capable of answering each of your inquiries, and have received the following answers, which we now send to you through this letter. We hope these answers will prove to be capable of satisfying your curiosity.

Who would be the primary leader of your society?

Her Majesty the Queen
Victoria
The answer to this question is quite complex, as East Plate could be said to have three main leaders, although traditionally and legally, their hierarchy is not equivalent. The primary leader of the Crown Colony of East Plate is Her Majesty Victoria, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland Queen, Defender of the Faith, Empress of India. As the monarch of the British Empire, she is the supreme authority in all of East Plate, being the undisputed head of state of the colony and the emblem of state authority and the unity of the Eastplatine society, with all executive, legislative, and judicial power in and over East Plate being vested in the monarch. However, as she works and resides predominantly outside of East Plate's borders, the monarch appoints a Governor to act in her representation. As such, the governor carries on the Government of East Plate on behalf and in the name of the Sovereign.

Since 15 January 1871, the position of Governor has been occupied by His Excellency the Right Honourable Lucas Higgins, 2nd Marquess of Dalworth. As Governor, he is the most influential person in the Colony after Her Majesty the Queen. He is the patron of several charitable organizations, mainly supporting organizations that focus their efforts on helping orphan children and promoting education for the poor. He has consciously set out to assume a more active role as holder of the governorship, and to get to know ordinary Eastplatines as much as possible. For more information about the Governor of East Plate, we recommend giving a look at our National Archives about the Office of the Governor.

However, it is important to note that East Plate has been granted a Responsible Government with the passage of the East Plate Constitution Act 1858 by the Parliament of the United Kingdom, and therefore, most of the day-to-day governing of the colony is handled by the Parliament of East Plate, also known as the General Assembly, whose leader is the Colonial Secretary, a position held since the end of 1870 by the Right Honourable Sebastian Lockhart. Despite his still short premiership, Lockhart has managed to become incredibly influential over the affairs of the colony, and enforces his authority with great vigour, challenging the Governor in multiple opportunities. For more information about the Colonial Secretary of East Plate, we recommend giving a look at our National Archives about the Office of the Colonial Secretary.

What would you say are the present threats facing your nation?
The main threat to East Plate is certainly the various illnesses that spread across our colony. Despite the vertiginous advances in medicine and science achieved by our most excellent scientists and doctors during the course of this century, we are afraid that we are still incapable of efficiently fighting several diseases like cholera, consumption (we have been made aware that you now call that "tuberculosis" in modern times), and most importantly, yellow fever. We have made great progress, and our colony is a pioneer in medicine in South America, however, it is still not enough. Thankfully, social organizations like the Philanthropic Society of Oriental Dames make great efforts to provide the common Eastplatine with access to hospitals like the Princess Louise Hospital in Montevideo, while the colonial government has provided us with organizations such as the Committee of Public Health, which rapidly tries to tackle potential sources of illnesses by eliminating miasmas by immediately burning and destroying the houses and other belongings of those who fall victim of these horrid diseases. In addition, our Universities engage in complex scientific investigations considering and analyzing pioneering theories such as the germ theory, which has been gaining traction among the Eastplatine intellectuals.

We sincerely hope you receive this letter at a time when all these horrible diseases have been conquered by humanity, in a similar fashion to how we conquered smallpox with the invention of the vaccine, which may we add, is now commonly administered in all of Eastplatine hospitals, often using the "arm-to-arm" method, which consists of vaccinating an individual then transferring it to another as soon as the infectious pustule forms, then to another, etc. This method is used as a form of living transportation of the vaccine, and we usually employ orphans as carriers. Oh, how wonderful is modern medicine! Sadly, sometimes other diseases seem to appear right after we perform this, as if the blood of people could somehow transfer an illness from one person to another. Our doctors are currently working hard to try to investigate this.

How did your nation form and what additional history is there surrounding its formation?
The history which led to the formation of East Plate is long and complex. We recommend you look at our national archives' entries about our History for a more detailed explanation, however, we will try our best to provide you with a short explanation.

The lands that are now known as East Plate have been disputed for many years between the Spanish and Portuguese empires. However, initially, our lands were considered to be worthless due to the lack of natural resources like gold or silver, and for the small number of natives living here, meaning that they could not be used as slaves or as workforce. When both empires turned their attention to us, it was mostly to prevent the other from expanding its influence, and as such, East Plate spent several years changing from Spanish to Portuguese hands and vice versa. This, however, began to change in 1806 when the British Empire, which was then at war with the Spanish Empire, turned its attention to the River Plate, and sent an invasion force, first to Buenos Aires, and then to Montevideo. After some initial successes, the British, commanded by John Whitelocke, ended up defeated and forced to leave the area. However, this created a strong nationalistic sentiment in the River Plate, as the then Spanish colony had managed to repeal one of the strongest empires in the world alone, without much help from the Spanish.

Not long after, the French invaded mainland Spain, occupying a large portion of the peninsula, giving the South American colonies an excellent opportunity to gain their independence, which they did with the May Revolution, with the territories of East Plate remaining loyal to the Spanish and the Spanish Viceroy at Montevideo calling the Portuguese to their aid, whose, instead of sending an army to support the struggling Spanish forces, sent an invasion force, taking East Plate for themselves. East Plate was then known as the Cisplatine Province as part of the Empire of Brazil when it became independent from Portugal. However, this arrangement would not stay true for long, with the Cisplatine Provinces proclaiming its independence from Brazil, at the same time it declared its immediate annexation to the United Provinces (Argentina), triggering a war between the two South American nations: The Cisplatine War.

The war proved to be disastrous for both nations: The United Provinces had the advantage on land, occupying a large portion of the Cisplatine Province, while the Brazilians had control of the waters, decimating the Argentine navy and imposing a blockade of Buenos Aires, seriously hurting their economy... and the British interest in the area as they could no longer freely trade in the region. As result, the British sent a diplomat, Lord John Ponsonby to mediate in the conflict and reach an end to the conflict. Ponsonby convinced the Argentines to establish an independent country in the Cisplatine Republic, but the Brazilians initially refused, which forced the British to land forces in both Montevideo and other important cities in the area, as well as to send various ships from the Royal Navy to the area. Fearing a full-out war with the British, Brazil accepted the offer for peace, and the Oriental Republic was established as an independent Republic, which acted more or less as a British puppet.

However, this would not last either, as, after the first elections in the Republic, a civil war broke out between the elected government and pro-Argentine rebels, prompting a second armed intervention by the British "to protect the independence of the Republic," this time fully occupying East Plate. The Committee of Safety was established by the British to govern the territories until the Republic could be restored, but to the surprise of no one, that never happened. Instead, the Committee pushed for a plebiscite to ask the population of East Plate if they wished to be annexed into the British Empire. The plebiscite ended up with a favorable result for the annexation of East Plate, and on November 17, 1839, Queen Victoria gave her royal assent to a bill formalizing the terms of the annexation of the Oriental Republic into the British Empire as the Crown Colony of East Plate, amid protests from France, Spain, Argentina, Brazil, and most notably, the United States, as the Monroe Doctrine had been violated by the British.

We are looking forward to hearing from you again.
Yours Sincerely;

Theodore Campbell
Mɪɴɪsᴛᴇʀ ᴏғ Tɪᴍᴇʟᴇss Aғғᴀɪʀs

by **Insulamia** » Sat Sep 10, 2022 10:19 pm

10 September 1876 A.D., 14:15 local time
78 Wade Lane, Montevideo, Capital Territory, East Plate
A reply to these two latest communications from the Ministry

Yet another envelope arrives on the Minister of Timeless Affairs' desk. This time, it has no stamp. Strange.

‎

FROM THE DESK OF THE PRESIDENT
1 Road of the Republic, Cabot

13 September 2022

Dear Minister,

I have received your letter from the 10th of September. I write this three days after I sent my telegramme to you, though, with any luck, you should receive this only one day after. Such is the beauty of time travel—waits can be reduced by simply going to the past. Anyhow, since then, I have had several updates to deliver to you, and some elaborations on the short message I was able to send through the telegraph. This letter I will arrange in order of what I consider the most urgent and important to the what I consider the least.

On Mr. Melville Woolahan. I am happy to announce that we have located him and his accompanying cultural expert, and he is now safe inside our London embassy. We've got quite a few odd folks in that embassy now, and Woolahan's the latest. There is also an Australian fellow who is wanted for helping leak state secrets of several countries and sexual abuse charges; to be honest, I do not know why we still keep him in there, but I digress. Woolahan and his entourage of one are safe, and they will be onroute to Cabot shortly, where we have allocated a nice home and office for him on 12 Amberley Terrace in the district of Collindsey. It is a spacious two-storey townhouse with a small courtyard also. As you requested, Woolahan and his cultural expert will receive all the assistance they require to adjust to life in 21st-century Insulamia, including clothes, vaccines, and a medical examination once he arrives in Cabot.

Unfortunately, Mr. Woolahan's Colt M1862 was confiscated by the British authorities and we were unable to negotiate a recovery for it. Luckily, the rest of his belongings have been secured.

As the monetary and economic difference between our two nations is substantial, being of different time periods and "universes" and having different currencies, we have decided to fully cover the costs of Mr. Woolahan's stay in Insulamia, so there is no need for your government to transfer us money. Also, even if you did send us money, it would be, at best, outdated, and at worst, nonexistant as legal tender, such is the case of the Eastplatine pound. And sending us any valuable commodity such as gold, I imagine, would be too difficult and inconvenient. Additionally, we see the Eastplatine legation to be quite valuable, so we are willing to pay comparatively minor expenditures to facilitate it.

If I may (and I know I promised not to in applying for the legation), I would like to inquire a little about your processes of sending Mr. Woolahan to our world and our time. He says he travelled to Chelsea, where he followed your ministry's directions on how to get to us. He arrived in our world, but he stayed in the same location geographically. Was this what was intended to happen? Did you intend for him to arrive on Insulamian soil? If you did, your technicians may want to investigate if there was a fault in your procedure that made him end up still in Britain. If you did not, I understand that; teleportation can be quite difficult. Our procedures of sending people to your timeline (these are the messengers that deliver my letters to you, including this one) involve them going to our world's Montevideo first, after which they will undergo the travellage process and stay in the same location. I understand that it would be difficult for Mr. Woolahan to go to the middle of nowhere in the freezing North Atlantic Ocean, where the Insulamian land does not exist for you.

Please turn over the page to view the rest of my message.

‎

‎

Moving on, about your attempts at telegraphic communication to Insulamia. Our technicians have identified a probable reason why telegraphic communication to us didn't work—Insulamia barely has any telegraphic network left. I apologise for the ambiguity of my last message on my telegramme that may have led you into believing that we still use telegraphs frequently, but unfortunately most of the world does not operate them anymore. Nevertheless, I have commissioned for a small intertemporal telegraphic receiver to be manufactured for my office in order to hopefully get easier and hastier communication between us and our nations. Speaking of nations, we have identified the "game" that you mentioned your telegrammes arrived at. Apparently, one of our members of Parliament has also been involved in some peculiar incidents regarding this "game". We will be investigating it further.

About Queen Elizabeth II. Her Majesty passed away on the 8th of September, and it was certainly a tragedy. I appreciate yours and your government's kind words in this time of hardship for not only our country but for the whole world. King Charles III, her son, will now be my new co-head-of-state. Though it was certainly stange that Her Majesty passed away around when I sent you the first letter, I find it hard to believe that anything concerning our communications influenced that event. I believe it was merely a coincidental correlation, so there is no need to worry that our communications will affect my “world” in any such ways.

You may have inferred this from reading our historical resources, but Her Majesty was not only Queen of Insulamia but also of the United Kingdom and the rest of Her many Commonwealth realms. She was the longest reigning British monarch in history and second to only Louis XIV of France (does he exist in your timeline?) in the world. She was also the great-great granddaughter of your own Queen Victoria, who existed also in our universe, proving once again that our timelines are different yet somehow intertwined.

Leading on from that, I would also like to deliver you more information about our universe, specifically, regarding the status of your colony in our universe. I assume you may be interested in knowing about it, and it is not mentioned in any of our "factbooks". I believe that the information below differs so much from what will happen in your future that it will have no impact on the continuity of your timeline.

Anyways, in our timeline, the geographical area where East Plate lies does exist, unlike Insulamia in your "universe". However, like I mentioned in my first letter, East Plate as a colony does not exist, and in its place is a Spanish-speaking country called the Oriental Republic of Uruguay. I have identified that the "point of divergence" of our timelines, besides the formation of the isles of Insulamia, may be the lack of British involvement in the Cisplatine War in our timeline. In our world, the Cisplatine War was between only Argentina, Brazil, and the Thirty-Three Oriental revolutionaries, and it resulted in independence for Uruguay. The United Kingdom did have influence in the mediation and resolution of the war, but did not militarily get involved and thus did not annex Cisplatina into the Empire.

Lastly, you may have noticed that there was no stamp on this envelope. That is because we had our messenger deliver it directly to 78 Wade Lane this time, instead of having it sent by mail. We did not deliver it directly last time because we did not know where the address was and how to get there, so we had it sent by mail and had our messenger follow the deliverymen to locate where it was. This turned out to be quite troublesome, not because of the stalking, but because we didn't have a 19th-century penny to purchase the required stamp, though, the messenger was able to pickpocket someone at the post office. I profoundly apologise for this crime and I hope your government can forgive it just this once.

That is the end of my message, thank you for reading through it all; I know it was quite tedious. I look forward to hearing from you again, whether through mail, telegraph, or any other means of communication, even that strange internet nations "game".

Best regards,

Edward de Saint-Pierre
President of Insulamia

‎

by **East Plate** » Sun Sep 11, 2022 7:17 pm

This is a response to the last correspondence from the Government of Insulamia

78 Wade Lane, City of Montevideo,
Capital Territory, East Plate.
11 September, 1876

Dear Edward de Saint-Pierre, President of Insulamia;

I am happy to say that I have received your letter from the 13th of September. As you said, time travel has its wonders, and skipping waiting times is one of those little pleasures in life that the Ministry has taken for granted after so many years. I want to commence this letter by saying that your last correspondence has been certainly revealing for us in many ways, although it has also been the source of several heated debates in the offices of the Ministry. I want to reassure you that these connections are of great importance to us, and that we take them very seriously as we firmly believe that they are essential for accomplishing our noble cause of fighting the passage of time and the ever-looming threat of being forgotten.

As you did in our previous communication, allow me to address each of the different points that you mentioned, in order of importance, according to the considerations of this Ministry:

It is the most wonderful news to know that Mr. Melville Woolahan has been located by Insulamian authorities and is now safe in your Embassy in London, as well as his accompanying cultural expert. We have to apologize for any kind of misunderstanding that may have occurred due to our lack of clarity in our previous messages. We have noted that in our previous correspondence, due to our concern to keep the ways in which the Ministry works hidden, we have omitted the very important detail of informing you that Mr. Woolahan would be appearing in your "universe" in London, and not in Insulamia. Normally this would not be a problem, as we instruct all our Legation members to immediately go to the country or territory in which they are going to carry out their task, but it seems that something has gone wrong in the case of Mr. Woolahan and this has caused him to be unable to complete his journey as instructed. Perhaps this is linked to the fact that the geographical area where your country is located does not exist in our "universe"?

Anyhow, It has also come to our attention that you seem to be intrigued by our methods to contact you through time. As we said in our first correspondence, we do not openly disclose this information to anyone, and in fact, only a handful of people know the exact method here in East Plate, as this is considered to be a matter of national security for us. Please do not feel angered or disappointed about our refusal to reveal the way in which we travel through time. Such is the importance we give to this policy of strict secrecy that we have not even made this information available to the Imperial Government nor to the Crown itself, which as you may understand, is an extremely risky decision to make, given that we are subjects of Her Majesty and Her Majesty's Government in London.

However, after much consideration, we have decided to reveal to you that you seem to have developed a completely different method of time travel than the one we are currently using, as evidenced by your letters appearing directly in our Ministry and your revelations made to us implying that your communications require you to actually travel to the exact place where you intend for things to appear in the past. We are also ready to tell you that Mr. Woolahan appearing in London was, as we already said, completely intentional, and that in fact, all our communications are linked to a certain place in London where people go for eternal rest and face the same threat we are trying to fight in this Ministry.

Moving on, as you correctly assumed, we inferred that Queen Elizabeth II and Queen Victoria had to be related somehow, as they are both monarchs of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, and the Crown is passed on to the descendants of our Kings and Queens. However, we did not pursue to know more about how Queen Elizabeth actually managed to reach the throne, as it could reveal information that may affect us. Currently, the heir to the throne in our timeline is the Prince of Wales, Albert Edward, born 9 November 1841 to Queen Victoria and Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, however, the second in line to the throne is Prince Albert Victor of Wales, born twelve years ago to Prince Albert Edward and Alexandra of Denmark. According to our limited knowledge about the lineage of Queen Elizabeth II, this suggests that the Crown seems to have skipped Prince Albert Victor as she is a descendant of Prince George (the second son of Prince Albert Edward and Alexandra) instead of Prince Albert Victor... Hopefully, this is just another difference in our universes and does not mean that something undesirable will happen to our young Prince in the future.

Finally, we would also like to address the information you gave us about the status of our colony in Insulamia's "universe." It is such a disgrace that those Spaniards actually retained their independence, as it implies that the British Empire has failed to protect its trade interests in South America, and that it most likely lost the continent to the Americans in the north, who keep trying to push their influence over the young South American republics disregarding our clear noble intentions to pacify and develop the continent, even when it was the British who helped them to enforce their Monroe Doctrine on the first place.

This is all we had to comment on this opportunity. Again, I thank you for your interest in maintaining these connections despite how difficult it can be at times, and the possible dangers that they imply. Please keep us updated on any issues that may come up with Mr. Woolahan, or anything we can be of assistance with.

P.S.: I almost forgot to answer your question about Louis XIV of France. I can confirm to you that he did in fact also exist in our timeline.

We are looking forward to hearing from you again.
Yours Sincerely;

Theodore Campbell
Mɪɴɪsᴛᴇʀ ᴏғ Tɪᴍᴇʟᴇss Aғғᴀɪʀs

You turn over the page containing the letter and find an extra attachment not mentioned in the letter...

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by **Wochaystein** » Sun Sep 11, 2022 7:58 pm

Theodore Campbell, Minister of Timeless Affairs
78 Wade Lane, City of Montevideo,
Capital Territory, East Plate.


    Establishment of Cultural and Diplomatic Legation
    This is an official document of the Ministry of Timeless Affairs of East Plate
  SECTION I - GENERAL INFORMATION

     Name of the requesting nation (include pretitle):  The Dieresis-Holy Empire of Wochaystein
     Where is your nation located?:  Diarcesia
     From which year are you contacting us?:  1876
     Why do you want us to establish a Cultural and Diplomatic Legation in your nation?:  At this point in time, Diarcesia already has an embassy with the United Kingdom and
through them, the East Plate. This is a... particular symbolic arrangement between autonomous entities, and maybe establishments of consulates

    
  SECTION II - ON HOW TO CONTACT YOU

     Please provide us with instructions to be able to contact you:  Regarding establishment of reciprocal delegations with Wochaystein (and by extension, Diarcesia),
invitations are extended with automatic acceptance.
     Do you have any special requests?:  No

    
  SECTION III - NOTIFICATION OF RISKS AND DANGERS 

     Do you understand the risks linked to possible disruptions in your timeline by contacting the past?:  Yes
     Do you understand that you must not intentionally provide us with information about the future other than the strictly allowed?: Yes
     Do you understand that you must not investigate the Ministry of Timeless Affairs and its ways to contact you?:  Yes

    
The Ministry of Timeless Affairs reserves the right to refuse to initiate further communications with your nation even if this form is filled correctly.

by **Diarcesia** » Sun Sep 11, 2022 8:56 pm

(OOC: I'm very curious on how your version of the UK interacted with us in this era - could be a potential worldbuilding experience)


    Inquieries for the Ministry of Timeless Affairs
    This is an official document of the Ministry of Timeless Affairs of East Plate

     Name of the asking nation (include pretitle):  The Monarchy Diarcesian
     List your questions below: (you may add as much questions as needed)
     1.- In general, what are your interactions with countries that cannot be located in the East Plate's world map? (OOC: NS nations not based on Earth)
     2.- What is the recent history between the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland (and/or its predecessors) and the Monarchy Diarcesian up to 1876?
     3.- How are the terms "West Plate" and "Transplatine" used in your area?


     Would you like to be notified via Telegram when your questions have been answered?:  Yes

    
The Ministry of Timeless Affairs reserves the right to refuse to initiate further communications with your nation even if this form is filled correctly.

by **East Plate** » Sun Sep 11, 2022 11:12 pm

This is a response to the last correspondence from the Government of Wochaystein

78 Wade Lane, City of Montevideo,
Capital Territory, East Plate.
12 September, 1876

Your Excellency Kaiser Florian II;

We are happy to inform you that we received your letter from the 11th of September requesting the establishment of an Eastplatine Legation in Wochaystein. As you may have noticed by the strange and mysterious ways in which this Ministry works, we are not tasked with conducting the foreign affairs of the Crown Colony of East Plate, as those are handled directly from London. Instead, the Ministry of Timeless Affairs, as its name suggests, is focused on matters of a more complex nature. Nonetheless, after careful consideration, we have decided to forward your letter to Governor Lucas Higgins, who has advised us to process your request regardless, meaning that from now on, the Ministry will be in charge of the bilateral relations between our two governments.

As you stated in your request, due to our status as autonomous entities of a bigger nation, our Legation in your nation and any possible diplomatic initiative that Wochaystein may send to Montevideo will be considered to be ceremonial, and although they will certainly serve as a way to strengthen the bonds between our states, the Eastplatine foreign policy will continue to be dictated from London.

We have appointed Mr. Frederick Toll to act as the Minister in charge of our Legation to your nation. He will be arriving shortly after we receive confirmation from your most honorable government that he is cleared to enter Wochaystein. Mr. Toll was born in the town of Millstone, Province of New Surrey, East Plate the 6th of April 1841 to Edward Toll, a woolcomber, and Jessie Toll. He showed at an early age a remarkable gift for languages and portraiture, with a friend of his father enabling him to study medicine in Montevideo and later Edinburgh. He has made several trips to India, Australia, and New Zealand as Assistant Surgeon on board various ships of the Royal Navy, as well as regular trips to the Falkland Islands on ships of the Colonial Navy of East Plate. It was whilst on one of his travels to India that he began studying the Persian language as well as other oriental languages, becoming friends with Sir Luke Fillanes, a collector and keen amateur artist interested in Egyptology. Both became very close and developed a passion for painting, among many other things, Egyptian landscapes and hieroglyphics, although initially, these consisted of figures invented by him and his partner, without any meaning, but becoming very appraised among Monteivdeans and Londoners. Toll married Jane Maynard on 4 October 1867 at Montevideo. Together they have two sons and one daughter: Frederick, George, and Julia.

We have attached a portrait of Mr. Toll to make his identification easier once he arrives in Wochaystein. He will be traveling together with a small diplomatic attaché and his family, as well as all the needed documentation to prove his identity and those of his companions. Please allow any request that Mr. Toll may make to you so that he can comfortably adjust to life in your country, all expenses will be covered by the Eastplatine government.

We are looking forward to hearing from you again.
Yours Sincerely;

Theodore Campbell
Mɪɴɪsᴛᴇʀ ᴏғ Tɪᴍᴇʟᴇss Aғғᴀɪʀs

by **East Plate** » Mon Sep 12, 2022 5:36 pm

This is a response to the last correspondence from the Government of Diarcesia

78 Wade Lane, City of Montevideo,
Capital Territory, East Plate.
12 September, 1876

Sir/Ma'am;

The Ministry of Timeless Affairs has correctly received your inquiries. We are happy to know that Monarchy Diarcesian is interested in learning about our colony. We have forwarded your questions to different professionals who would be more capable of answering each of your inquiries, and have received the following answers, which we now send to you through this letter. We hope these answers will prove to be capable of satisfying your curiosity.

In general, what are your interactions with countries that cannot be located in the East Plate's world map?
The Ministry of Timeless Affairs was initially unaware of its capacity to maintain communications with countries that did not exist in our "universe," in fact, we were ignorant of their existence until very recently, when our own experiences and interactions with a certain nation that does not exist in our world showed us that we could, in fact, interact with that kind of nations. Since then, we have been open to any kind of engagement with the aforementioned nations, as we believe they are a fine addition to our noble cause of fighting against being forgotten by future generations.

What is the recent history between the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland (and/or its predecessors) and the Monarchy Diarcesian up to 1876?
According to our sources, the Monarchy Diarcesian and the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland enjoy cordial relations, although the Ministry seems to be having trouble correctly obtaining information about the relationship between both nations, which may suggest that the Crown Colony of East Plate itself has not engaged much with the affairs of the Monarchy Diarcesian, and therefore, its government has not acquired much information about their relationship with London. Nonetheless, this also implies that no major conflicts may have occurred between both entities, as the colonial government would have been made aware of any hostilities as its foreign policy is mostly directed from London.

How are the terms "West Plate" and "Transplatine" used in your area?
Both terms are not used anymore in formal contexts, although they can sometimes be heard in very specific contexts. The term "West Plate" can be found in old documents from the early colonial governments and documents from British diplomats, merchants, and navigators during the first decades of the 19th century to refer to those territories located at the west of the River Plate, more precisely, to make reference to the United Provinces of the Rio de la Plata, as civil wars and the complex political situation of that country made it difficult to refer to all the territories to the west of the River Plate using the terms "United Provinces" or "Argentina," as not all governments located there saw themselves as part of the United Provinces. In addition, the term "West Plate" sometimes can be used to also include the nation of Chile, in addition to Argentina. Nonetheless, the term is very rare, and has fallen into disuse since the 1850s.

The term "Transplatine" has a similar meaning to "West Plate" but is more common and usually used in phrases like "the Transplatine Governments," also making reference to any state to the west of the River Plate that was part of the Viceroyalty of the Rio de la Plata, including Argentina, Chile, Paraguay and parts of Bolivia. The term originated from "Cisplatine" which was the old name given to East Plate by the Brazilians. Cis comes from the Latin meaning “on this side,” as opposed to “trans-” which means “on the other side of.” This means that Transplatine, as used in East Plate, is used to refer to those states or territories that lay on the other side of the River Plate, using East Plate as a reference.

We are looking forward to hearing from you again.
Yours Sincerely;

Theodore Campbell
Mɪɴɪsᴛᴇʀ ᴏғ Tɪᴍᴇʟᴇss Aғғᴀɪʀs

by **Insulamia** » Mon Sep 19, 2022 6:00 am

13 September 2022 A.D., 18:54 local time
Embassy of Insulamia in Montevideo
Galicia 1252, Montevideo, Department of Montevideo, Uruguay

Robert Larrison receives an email from the President—another message to be delivered to that 19th-century alternate-universe British-colonised Montevideo. This time, the President also requested a few images with some tape be put into the envelope as well; the images would be mailed to Larrison. He prints out the documents, folds them, and puts them into an envelope, along with the pictures he retrieved from the mailbox. He writes out the address lines, making sure to handwrite in an old-fashioned cursive style as to not arouse suspicion at first glance when the letter arrives in the 19th century.

Dressed in recreated Victorian-style attire, Larrison walks out to the small courtyard arear the embassy, as he always does, in order to be hidden from public view. The last two times, this 'spawned' him behind a house that was relatively unchallenging to escape from. With the letter in one hand and Glancey's Lamp in the other, he braces himself as he is accelerated through dimensions at unfathomable speeds.

13 September 1876 A.D., 17:54 local time
Levingston Residence
143 Cornwall Road, Montevideo, East Plate

James Levingston hears a strange noise from the alley behind the house. It was the third time in the span of only a few days that strange sounds had emanated from there. Only now had he the motivation and/or the courage to actually inspect what caused it. Folding up his newspaper, Levingston walks outside to find a man laying crumpled on the ground. The man is dressed rather oddly, some of his clothing is reminiscent of that of a worker, yet some items remind Levingston more of an upperclass gentleman. And all of his vesture looks superbly clean and new. In his right hand, the man holds a peculiar...lamp of some sorts, and in his left, he holds an envelope.

Levingston approaches the man and taps his shoulder. "Hello?"

From a state of fatigued slumber, the man looks at Levingston shocked and wide-eyed and instantly jolts up, dashing away towards the exit of the alley onto Cornwall. Suddenly, Levingston realises that the man was a lowly thief. That would explain the strange items he was holding and wearing—he had stolen them! Levingston chases after the thief as he darts through the quieting streets of Montevideo, occasionally glancing back just to see Levingston not far behind. Eventually, Levingston spots a policeman and calls him to the pursuit. Not long after, the criminal is caught by the officer, who asks Levingston: "Are these...this lamp and this letter yours?"

Levingston pauses for a moment and considers. He does not trust the police much; they are often incompetent at even the simplest of their duties. He believes that he could handle the precious items and return them to their owners much better. And so he utters:
"Yes."

13 September 2022 A.D., 22:36 local time
Pickford House
1 Road of the Republic, Cabot, Henria, Insulamia

The phone of the President rings late at night. It is a call from the embassy in Uruguay.

"Bonsoir, monsieur le Président. Je suis Gabriel Álvarez, de l'ambassade à Montevideo."
"Bonsoir."
"Euh...je suis vraiment désolé, mais—"
"Allez à l'essentiel. Je suis fatigué."
"Ah, oui, oui. Euh... Robert Larrison. Il n'est pas revenu. Cela fait quatre heures qu'il est parti. Habituellement, il revient en quelques minutes. C'est très étrange."
"Probablement, c'est juste que le Glancey le transporte à une époque qui est décalée de quelques heures. C'est déjà arrivé, et ce n'était rien de trop grave. Je pense que nous devrions attendre demain avant d'agir."
"Oké, monsieur. Vous n'avez besoin du Glancey pour rien d'urgent?"
"Non, c'est bon."
"Oké. Bonsoir."
"Bonsoir."

14 September 2022 A.D., 15:41 local time
Embassy of Insulamia in London
1 Lower Grosvenor Place, London SW1W 0EJ, United Kingdom

Chelsea Singh gets into an embassy vehicle and drives southwest on the A3217. She is headed towards Brompton Cemetery, where she was instructed by the President himself to place a letter on the tomb of someone called Hannah Courtoy. When Singh searched it up, it was described as a "marvellous mausoleum that might be a time machine". Perhaps this had something to do with the weird fellows that rocked up to the embassy with Victorian-era clothing and artefacts a couple of days back. There is something very strange going on here, she thought, and she would love to know more. But for now, she must focus on the task at hand, an executive order straight from her head of state.

Fourteen minutes later, Singh arrives at the massive cemetery. The tomb should be around the north-centre, near the Ifield Road side. Singh is about to pull up her phone to check the location again when she spots the towering shape of Hannah Courtoy's mausoleum, clearly standing out from the rest of the comparatively tiny gravestones. She quickly jogs to the tomb and marvels a little at its magnificence and mystery, before placing the envelope on the 'steps'. Worried that the autumn winds of London might sweep away the letter, she searches for a stone to place on top of it. She doesn't find any (except, of course, for the gravestones) so she rummages her pockets to find a pen, which she puts on the letter, ensuring that it isn't carried off by the breeze.

17 September 1876 A.D., 09:24 local time
West of London and Westminster Cemetery
Fulham Road, London, United Kingdom

Matthew Blackheath walks out of the mysterious tomb and arrives in a Victorian landscape, carrying a bag containing a bar of gold. He takes in his surroundings and a big breath of air, which he realises is rather putrid. Under the directions of and a very brief explanation from the President, he is to go to a post office to write a telegramme to Uruguay, or, as they call it here, 'East Plate'. To get the money to buy the telegramme, he is to exchange the bar of gold he brought with him at a bank for cash.

Blackheath heads out of the cemetery to find a rather deserted road. He doesn't know where a bank or a post office is (in his time, let alone in the Victorian era), so he must ask a person here. But no one seemed to be around. Odd.

Wandering the streets for a while, he manages to spot a couple walking. Preparing his best 19th-century accent, he speaks to the gentleman:

"Good day, my sir. Apologies for troubling you. I was just...I just want to ask where the post office is?"
"Why would you possibly want to go to the post office at this time?"
"I want to send a telegraph—telegramme, I mean."
"Well, the post office is closed now. You should be going to church, lad, or going home and getting some rest."
"Oh, alright. Good d—ah...farewell."

Bloody hell, how could he have been so foolish? He should have checked the weekday that he would be arriving in before he went. Out of all the seven days in the week, unfortunately, he had drawn a Sunday.

No matter, Blackheath thinks. He can wait until tomorrow. And that could give him ample time to find a bank and a post office himself.

18 September 1876 A.D., 06:19 local time
Levingston Residence
143 Cornwall Road, Montevideo, East Plate

James Levingston is sleepily waking up when a thought hits him. The objects that he took from that robber a week ago, he had completely forgotten to try and return them to their owner. He had been too mesmerised researching and observing the magical 'lamp', which he concluded likely originated from the mystical Egypt, due to the engraving of an 'eye' hieroglyph on its bottom.

Levingston quickly gets dressed and locates the envelope. He takes a close look. "In...sul...amia?" he mumbled. "What the hell is that? And where is the stamp on this thing? And...Ministry of Timeless Affairs? Is this a sick joke?"

Whatever, Levingston thinks. It is best to just not question it and deliver it out of respect. And, any questions he does have would only be answered if he went to...78 Wade Lane, anyways.

He arrives at 78 Wade Lane and inserts the letter into the postbox. Though he was about to knock on the door to question about the letter, Levingston decides against it out of respect for the privacy of the homeowner. As he leaves, he sees a telegraph boy deliver a telegramme to the same house.

On his way home, Levingston realises that he forgot to bring the Egyptian lamp to the address. No matter, he thinks, it probably did not belong to them anyways. He decides that he would give the lamp to some Egyptological institute or museum for further examination.

18 September 1876 A.D., 9:15 local time
Ministry of Timeless Affairs
78 Wade Lane, Montevideo, Capital Territory, East Plate

A telegramme and a letter arrive on the desk of the Minister of Timeless Affairs.

‎
East Plate  Post Office.
‎

  URGENT
 TELEGRAM
‎ Office of Origin.

 ECCLESTON ST
 LONDON‎ ‎ To:
 MINISTER THEODORE CAMPBELL
 78 WADE LANE
 MONTEVIDEO
‎ Date Entered.

 18/09/1876
‎ ‎ Words.

 28
‎ ‎ Date Stamp.


‎

‎   17 SEPTEMBER 2022

URGENT PLEASE RETRIEVE LETTER AT COURTOYS MAUSOLEUM SOON AS POSSIBLE
LETTER WILL BE THERE AFTER 14 SEPTEMBER 2022

   EDWARD DE SAINT PIERRE
      PRESIDENT OF INSULAMIA



‎

On seeing the telegramme, Minister Campbell quickly instructs a member of the Ministry to go to the mausoleum and retrieve the letter. When Campbell returns to his desk, he opens the other message and reads.

‎

FROM THE DESK OF THE PRESIDENT
1 Road of the Republic, Cabot

13 September 2022

Dear Minister,

I have received your letter from the eleventh of September well. This letter is an update regarding the status of Mr. Woolahan and his Cultural Expert. Luckily, moving on from the slight trouble of locating them in London, things appear to be running smoothly for the operation. Therefore, you shall expect less frequent communications between us in future, lest my words of positivity bring a curse upon us. Oh, I am just joking, of course, I mustn't play the fool's game of superstition, but, anyways, I thank you and the Ministry for your cooperation in establishing these relations between our two countries. It has been greatly beneficial for us in enriching our knowledge of your country and the "multiverse", and I am certain it would be likewise for you, the Ministry, and East Plate, as well.

Onto my update, and I am delighted to announce that Mr. Melville Woolahan and his cultural expert are safe and well in their accommodation in Cabot. Earlier today, I had the pleasure of meeting them face-to-face and they seemed to be very nice people, if not a little crazed at times. They are thrilled to be finally exploring the 21st-century world without fear of getting arrested by the Metropolitan Police. After Mr. Woolahan and the cultural expert settle into their new surroundings, I expect that they will collaborate with us and our Ministry of Culture on documenting the rich history, lifestyle, and whatnot of East Plate. We have given them appropriate medical checkups, 21st-century clothes, and other such things to help them adapt to our world, and we are beginning to teach them some things about our country and our time as well.

Another note is that you seem to have misplaced a map and a depiction of Hannah Courtoy's tomb on the back of the last letter. I have carefully made sure that it is returned in this envelope. Upon seeing the map and the picture, I was initially bewildered. This was because I had not read your first letter carefully enough and did not see the section stating that letters to the Ministry were supposed to be delivered there. However, I soon reread the letter and realised my error. My sincerest apologies for not delivering my letters through that intended method.

Though, as it has some advantages, I have decided that any further letters from me will still be dispatched through our method, unless something happens that makes it impossible or extremely hazardous (which is unlikely to happen). I also realise I have not explained our method to you fully. After careful consultation with our team of experts, I have decided that it would be beneficial if I explained our method to you and your Ministry, as it could help us get a better grasp of this strange multiversal travel.

In July of 2021 (which is very recently, so we have not had too much of a chance to thoroughly research this), our government sent a team of explorers, led by Sir Roger Glancey, to a strange cave on the aptly-named Isle of Mystery. You can see this island on our map; it is the small island that has the northernmost point of Insulamia, approximately 150 miles from the Isle of Nuran and 200 miles from the Insulamian mainland. Anyways, the explorers found a mystical artefact, about the size of a lamp. It is the key to unlocking our connection to the multiverse. I have decided against revealing to you too much information about the object, for, as trustworthy as I trust you and your Ministry to be, revealage brings too much of a risk of theft or other sabotage by other malicious parties to be worth doing. Nevertheless, I can tell you these facts:
The object can teleport through space, time, and whatever other dimensions there may be.
It does not particularly follow anyone's commands. However, it seems to have a well-intentioned "mind" of its own that teleports it to wherever necessary, and delivers messages to intended recipients.
Holding it can send you into different parts of the multiverse if you want.
It sends you through time and "universes" but it does not send you through space, relative to the Earth, despite being able to move through it itself. This is why we must have our messengers in (our universe's) Montevideo before they travel.
Placing it atop a telegraph (and some other more modern telecommunication devices) can warp the telegraph's transmission in a way that sends messages to intended multiversal destination. This is how we sent you the telegramme from the 10th of September; despite it appearing like it was from London (presumably it says that on your telegramme?), it was actually sent from our Insulamia.
If you have any more inquiries about this, feel free to ask me and I will try and respond as best as I can. Anyhow, I thank you and the Ministry of Timeless Affairs for your immeasurable efforts in establishing and maintaining this Cultural and Diplomatic Legation. May it bring us a brighter future and a better-preserved past.

Best wishes to you and the Ministry,

Edward de Saint-Pierre
President of Insulamia

‎

19 September 2022 A.D., 14:00 local time
Brompton Cemetery
Fulham Road, London SW10 9UG, United Kingdom

As the two o'clock bells ring across London, the following message is retrieved from the Hannah Courtoy mausoleum:

‎

FROM THE DESK OF THE PRESIDENT
1 Road of the Republic, Cabot

14 September 2022

Dear Minister,

I will get straight to the point. Please act on this urgently.

The messenger that I dispatched to deliver you the message from the 13th of September (I hope you will have received that by now) has not returned to our timeline in almost a day. Along with him was our special device that we use to communicate interdimensionally. This is highly unusual, as most of our messengers return within mere minutes of their departure. I urge you, the Ministry, and whomever else to try and locate and facilitate a return for our messenger and our device hastily, if they are in your area/time/universe (and, based on my knowledge, they probably are).

Attached are photographs of the device and the messenger. The messenger is named Robert Larrison, however, he may assume a different identity upon arriving in East Plate. He is aged 34 years, Caucasian, brown-eyed and brown-haired. He had grown a moustache the last time we saw him, though this is not reflected in the attached photograph as it is several months old. He stands 5 foot 6 inches tall and was last seen wearing some Victorian-era-styled outfit that we (in the 21st century) had recreated. He may have arrived in 143 Cornwall Road, Montevideo, as that was the location that he allegedly arrived the first two times he went as well.

The device looks like a lamp of sorts, with a glass orb atop a golden-coloured pedestal. Inside the orb are floating and glowing sticks that look like the hands of a clock. On the bottom of the pedestal is engraved a symbol of an eye with some lines running down it. I will not elaborate on the device any further than its appearance.

I hope that with the provided information you can reunite Larrison and the device with us. May God help you in your search.

Kind regards,

Edward de Saint-Pierre
President of Insulamia

‎

by **East Plate** » Tue Sep 20, 2022 11:35 pm

This is a response to the last correspondence from the Government of Insulamia

15 September 1876 A.D., 07:31 local time
Clarence Mental Asylum
12 Station Road, Clarence, Province of Billingham, East Plate

At 7:30 AM, like most days, a carriage from Montevideo arrived at the gates of the Clarence Mental Asylum. This time, it was carrying just an unidentified man and a woman named Clara Hopkins, who was being admitted for "hysteria," a condition she was diagnosed to have after a mad-doctor observed her "nervous, eccentric, and erratic behaviour," although almost all nurses knew that she was brought to the asylum on orders of her husband who sought to confine her after she dared to ask him for a divorce after she had caught him with another woman with whom he was having an adulterous affair.

The unidentified man accompanying her had been caught the day prior by the National Guard after he had stolen a letter and a strange-looking lamp from a Montevidean man, as well as other objects that looked to be too expensive to belong to him. Initially, the National Guard was going to just release him, as pickpocketers and petty thefts were too small of a thing to even bother initiating the complex bureaucracy-filled processes of Eastplatine law, although his inability to properly identify himself, his strange ascent, and the rather uncommon words he used to communicate caught the attention of the whole Constabulary. It was not long after the mental capabilities of this man were put to question, as, in addition to his general strangeness, he kept asking to see a certain "Mr. Theodore Campbell" who supposedly could be found at 78 Wade Lane in Montevideo, who, according to him, could explain everything to them. The Constabulary, probably filled with curiosity and clearly breaking protocol, actually did send an officer to the aforementioned place to make inquiries, just to find an elderly woman open the door assuring the officer that no man called "Theodore Cambell" lived there. It didn't take long then for a mad-doctor to declare that this poor man was "extremely confused and disoriented" diagnosing him with "dementia" and ordering his immediate admission to an asylum.

78 Wade Lane, City of Montevideo,
Capital Territory, East Plate.
20 September, 1876

Dear Edward de Saint-Pierre, President of Insulamia;

We have received your letters dated from the thirteenth and fourteenth of September. I thank you for updating us regarding the well-being of Mr. Woolahan and for retrieving us the map we seem to have mistakenly put into the envelope sent to you previously. Although I am not exactly sure if this is the case, it most likely ended up there just by mistake, as we are currently handling communications with various other nations at the same time, and as a result, both the map and the depiction of Courtoy's mausoleum must have slipped into the wrong envelope by accident.

Under normal circumstances, I would love to ramble around chatting with you, informing you of the latest developments in the bilateral relations between our two nations, but it seems, according to your last letter sent to us, that we are now faced with a much more important issue that could endanger the security of both Insulamia and East Plate, so I will leave our chatter for future communications when the time becomes more appropriate again. However, I seem to be in possession of some good and bad news regarding this situation, which deserve to be conveyed to you as soon as possible, so I will now proceed to explain them to you.

First of all, I would like to tell you that some rather strange things have been happening around the location where the Ministry of Timeless Affairs is located in Montevideo. As we have said before in previous communications, the Ministry is a highly secret institution within the government of East Plate, with only a handful of people being aware of its existence, not counting the people directly involved with it. However, on the thirteenth of September, 1876, an officer sent by the National Guard knocked the doors of the Ministry asking to see me. Of course, the National Guard has no knowledge about the existence of this Ministry, and under no circumstances they would know where we are located and who I am. Thankfully, the officer left without asking many questions after one of my secretaries opened the door claiming she was the owner of the place and that she had no idea who "Mr. Campbell" was.

Mr. Edmond Andrew, one of our most trusted collaborators, was immediately dispatched to discretely follow the officer after he left the premises of the Ministry to retrieve any information that could throw some light on this strange encounter, and he soon found out that the National Guard had custody of a man with very strange-looking clothes, which Mr. Andrew described as "a cheap and tasteless mockery of the current fashion styles for men." The next thing Mr. Andrew saw was an alienist (I believe you call those "psychiatrists" there in Insulamia) being summoned by the National Guard, followed by that oddly-dressed man being escorted into an ambulance wagon, which we assume brought him to some mental asylum. It is obvious to us now, after reading your last letters, that this man was Robert Larrison, as he fits the description you gave us perfectly. Sadly, at the time, we had no idea who he was or the fact that he was missing, so we did not pursue further actions, as it was beneficial for us that this man who had probably somehow discovered the existence of our ministry was now being seen as a mere lunatic, as everyone would just dismiss anything he said without even requiring us to get involved, something that we always try to avoid as to minimise the chances of someone discovering us.

I have now pulled some strings with the Colonial Government and have arranged for a letter to be signed by the Colonial Secretary ordering the immediate release of Mr. Larrison from the mental institution where he has been secluded, which will be delivered to the National Guard tomorrow. Gracefully, according to our collaborators in the Colonial Government, Mr. Larrison has been admitted to the Clarence Mental Asylum, which is administered by the Philanthropic Society of Oriental Dames who have implemented the "Moral Treatment System" there, meaning that patients are treated like "rational" beings, rather than criminals, so we expect Mr. Larrison to be mostly unharmed and safe, although until we see him, we can not be completely sure.

Upon his release, the Ministry will arrange to provide him with saloon-class tickets for a voyage to Liverpool aboard the SS Tropic of the White Star Line, and he will be arriving in Britain in about two to three weeks. Once there, he will also be provided with train tickets from Liverpool to London, where we will make sure he travels back to your current time and universe. Hopefully, if everything goes according to plan, and using the wonders of time travel, he will be arriving in your universe's 21st century Britain between the twenty-first and twenty-second day of September. Once he arrives there, we ask you to take all the necessary measures to bring him safely to Insulamia.

I hope you understand that, despite our deepest and truest belief that your nation is very trustworthy, we can not risk letting the details of how we operate our communications to be exposed to Mr. Larrison. We are aware that you, and most likely Mr. Larrison too, already know that Hannah Courtoy's mausoleum is involved in this whole process, as we have not been exactly secretive about that, however, we are not going to take more risks than needed letting him known how exactly it is involved and how to operate it, and so, we will be administering Mr. Larrison with a considerable dose of Laudanum (a drug with a high concentration of morphine) to induce him into a state of stupor when we approach Brompton Cemetery. Do not worry, we assure you this is completely safe and we are not endangering his life or well-being by doing this procedure.
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You turn over the page...

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⠀
⠀
Moving on to other, and perhaps, more important topics... I am afraid to tell you that finding your "device" is not as easy as finding Mr. Larrison. According to the registers of the National Guard, Mr. Larrison was detained for stealing "a forgery of an Egyptian relic resembling a lamp" (that we believe is, in fact, your device) and "correspondence" belonging to a Montevidean man who saw him acting suspiciously around his residence, to whom the items were returned. As you can see, this is very vague and leaves us with very little information on how to act. We believe that the correspondence that Mr. Larrison "stole" was your letter dated from the thirteenth of September, which strangely appeared in our postbox, meaning that this "Montevidean man" actually delivered it to us. We are unsure how much he knows about the Ministry or Insulamia, but it is clear to us that he has, or rather, had your device.

I say that he had, and not that he has your device because, as you probably noticed by looking at the hieroglyphs of Hannah's mausoleum, Egypt has a special connection with how East Plate is able to travel through time, and as a result, the Ministry has collaborators secretly working for us in most museums and egyptological institutions or societies in East Plate, whose task is to inform us of anything that could be of importance for us. A few days ago, before we knew that you had lost this device, one of our collaborators registered that a man sold a strange artifact to the Walsham's Antique Art Store for £1, and that it was later sold again to a lady named Theodora Parlow for £2. Of course, this meant nothing to our collaborator back then, but when we received the picture of your device, he immediately recognized it as that strange artifact at the Walsham's Antique Art Store.

Getting information on Theodora Parlow was actually not very hard, as she is fairly well known around East Plate for her eccentricities and her career. She is a very successful actress and singer who was born into a theatrical family, starting her acting career as a child. She made her professional adult debut in 1858 and joined the company at Montevideo's King William Theatre, performing in Shakespeare, comedies, dramas, and musical burlesques, in which she specialises, becoming very famous especially among the male audience, as according to one of our collaborators, "she regularly shows her legs in tights," something that Mr. Woolahan can surely explain to you why our society finds to be incredibly scandalous. We have also been provided with a photo of her, which I am attaching to this letter.

Now, the problem is that she has been missing since the fifteenth of September and the Ministry is incapable of finding her, even when I managed to get a written order signed by the Colonial Secretary for the National Guard to look for her. We have also been told that she has missed two of her performances at the King William Theatre and that they also have no idea where she could be. Her name is not on any passenger lists of any of the ships that left the Port of Montevideo during these last few days, and her family seems to be as clueless as we are. We even had one of our collaborators break in inside her house, and nothing seems to be out of place, her clothes are all there and there are no personal documents missing, even her money and other valuables are still all there. The only thing that we could not find is your artifact. It is just as if she suddenly... disappeared from East Plate.

I really do not desire to alarm you, but we believe that there is a very high chance that she actually has travelled to the future using your device. She has left absolutely no traces of her in East Plate, and she was seen by one of our collaborators buying an artifact that looked to be exactly like your time-traveling device. In addition, you explained to us that the "thing" you use to communicate with us has something of a "mind of its own" so she did not even had to know how to properly use or what it was to actually be transported by it. Maybe she just wished to be somewhere and the artifact sent her there? Maybe the artifact wants her to be somewhere we do not know?

If our suspicions are true, I hope that both you and your entire government understand the danger of having a time machine, or even worse, a device capable of establishing connections between multiple "universes," lost among the infinity of possible times, places and universes in the custody of a woman who surely has no idea of the dangers that the possible interactions between the past and the present can have, and the disastrous alterations that could arise from such interactions... and all this assuming that Mrs. Parlow still has the artifact, and that it has not fallen into the hands of someone who may have any malicious intent.

We will obviously keep looking for her and the artifact around East Plate, and we will immediately inform you if we find anything related to this, but it is most critical that your government also considers the possibility that your artifact might, in fact, be back in your universe and time, and not in ours. I also want to inform you that we believe that we might be actually capable of sending you telegrams now, so do not be surprised if you eventually find a telegram from us on your desk telling you anything that is not worthy of writing a whole letter.

We are looking forward to hearing from you again.
Yours Sincerely;

Theodore Campbell
Mɪɴɪsᴛᴇʀ ᴏғ Tɪᴍᴇʟᴇss Aғғᴀɪʀs

by **Insulamia** » Sat Sep 24, 2022 6:16 am

17 September 1876 A.D., 14:36 local time
Parlow Residence
317 Buenos Aires Avenue, Old Town, Montevideo, East Plate
The curious lamp sits atop of Theodora Parlow's cabinet full of antiques. Quite literally so; the lamp was only placed on the top of the cabinet because the shelves were already packed to the brim with odd things that she had collected over an admittedly short span of time. They range from the skull of a native tribesman to a ceramic plate belonging to a Chinese emperor. And in between are lots and lots of Egyptian artefacts, of which the lamp is the latest.

Parlow takes a good look at the lamp and recalls the words of the fellow named Walsham who sold her it:

"...Egyptian legend has it that if one were to focus one's thoughts intensely enough, upon a specific time or date that one wishes to travel to, holding the lamp, it would transport one to that exact time..."

Of course, this was just a trickery invented by Walsham to try capitalise on the Egyptian craze that was spreading across the globe. Parlow had heard words like that before from different retailers before, and the first time she was foolish enough to believe them, she was thoroughly disappointed when the truth revealed itself.

But looking at the lamp, she does find it peculiar that the "rods" in the lamp seem to faintly glow, though they are not aflame. And they seem to float in the "orb" without any wiring or other methods of suspension. With a slightly reignited sense of curiosity, Parlow grabs the lamp and examines it. How peculiar...closer inspection seems to affirm her observations from afar. Magical glowing floating rods in an orb...perhaps it is a magical time machine after all.

Well, why not give it a try, then? Parlow considers. Ultimately, it wouldn't cause me any harm if it fails, maybe a little embarrassment that I believed such a foolish story, but really nothing is preventing me from testing. And so she does. With the lamp in her hands, she thinks of a date of the far future: January 1, 2000.

Unfortunately, she did not consider what would happen if the time travel worked.

The lamp, with Parlow holding onto it, zooms through the fourth dimension as Parlow sees her bedroom quickly morph. Objects, furniture, and even flooring move around extremely quickly right in front of her eyes. Terrified, she lets go of the lamp, expecting this action to revert her to her original time. The lamp, instead of dropping to the floor, instantly disappears. She stands still, yet she still feels forces acting on her body until...clunk, she feels as if she has hit something, although, looking around, she is nowhere near any solid object.

And unfortunately for her a second time, as the lamp still heads towards the year 2000, Theodora Parlow has fallen into 1982.

ooc: uncanonised following recent developments

21 September 2022 A.D., 19:50 local time
Todd Love International Airport
Todd Love Drive, Cabotshire, Henria, Insulamia

President Edward de Saint-Pierre feels like a secret agent from the films, disguised with a fake beard and on a mission to recover a lost artefact crucial to the functioning of the government. He pulls the envelope from East Plate from his suit pocket and opens it for the first time, pretending that they are secret directions from MI6...or Insulamia's Department of Foreign Intelligence, DFI. Doesn't roll off the tongue as well, aye? Perhaps that's why they don't make Insulamian spy films. Or maybe it's because the DFI is underfunded and doesn't like to participate in all that sexy foreign interference.

The President begins reading...

take more risks than needed letting him known how exactly it is involved and how to operate it, and so, we will be administering Mr. Larrison with a considerable dose of Laudanum (a drug with a high concentration of morphine) to induce him into a state of stupor when we approach Brompton Cemetery. Do not worry, we assure you this is completely safe and we are not endangering his life or well-being by doing this procedure.

The President feels a rush of anxiety seeing that one of his agents is going to get 19th-century "medical treatment". He somewhat frantically reaches for his phone and searches up "Laudanum" on the web.

Laudanum
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Not to be confused with labdanum or Cistus ladanifer.
Laudanum is a tincture of opium containing approximately 10% powdered opium by weight (the equivalent of 1% morphine).^[1] Laudanum is prepared by dissolving extracts from the opium poppy (Papaver somniferum Linnaeus) in alcohol (ethanol).

Ô, merde... the President curses internally. They're giving him bloody opium. He navigates to the "Hazards" section and reads.

Hazards [ edit source ]
Potency of laudanum [ edit source ]

Opium tincture is one of the most potent oral formulations of morphine available by prescription. Accidental or deliberate overdose is common with opium tincture given the highly concentrated nature of the solution. Overdose and death may occur with a single oral dose of between 100 and 150 mg of morphine in a healthy adult who has no tolerance to opiates.^[33][34] This represents the equivalent of between two to three teaspoons (10–15 mL) of opium tincture. Suicide by laudanum was common in the mid-19th century.^[35] Prudent medical judgment necessitates toward dispensing very small quantities of opium tincture in small dropper bottles or in pre-filled syringes to reduce the risk of intentional or accidental overdose.

It seemed that even a little bit could kill someone, and this was common knowledge in Eastplatine times, seeing as people killed themselves with this drug even back then. Yet why were they giving Larrison a...what did they say..."considerable dose" of the stuff? How will that be "completely safe" and not endanger his wellbeing in any way?

The president dials for the London embassy as he continues reading to the "Treatment" section.

Treatment for overdose [ edit source ]

Life-threatening overdose of opium tincture owes to the preparation's morphine content. Morphine produces a dose-dependent depressive effect on the respiratory system, which can lead to profound respiratory depression, hypoxia, coma and finally respiratory arrest and death. If overdose of opium tincture is suspected, rapid professional intervention is required. The primary concern is re-establishing a viable airway and institution of assisted or controlled ventilation if the patient is unable to breathe on their own. Other supportive measures such as the use of vasopressors and oxygen may be indicated to treat cardiac and/or pulmonary failure. Cardiac arrhythmias or arrest will require advanced life-saving measures.

Intravenous naloxone or nalmefene, quick-acting opioid antagonists, are the first-line treatment to reverse respiratory depression caused by an overdose of opium tincture. Gastric lavage may be of some use in certain cases.

The line picks up, and the President utters: "Allo?"
"Allo, Insulamian Embassy in London, Leslie White speaking. Is that you, Mr. President?"
"Ah, aye. Just hold on for a minute, will you? And get Blackheath on the line."

The President moves to a less busy area of the terminal to continue the conversation.

"Alright, sorry about that. There were just a few too many folks around so I was moving."
"..."
"Hello?"
"Ah, sorry for the delay, Mr. President. Matthew Blackheath here. What do you need?"
"Aye, good evening, Matthew. I'm at Todd Love right now, about to board a flight to Heathrow, which departs in twenty minutes or so. I'm very sorry for my pesterance of you with all these tasks, but I do have another mission I want you to do."
"Aye, sir."
"So...latest communication from East Plate says they've found Larrison, the Uruguay embassy lad, and they're going to send him back to our time in the timespan from the 21st to the 22nd of this month through that mausoleum in Brompton Cemetery."
"Good to hear."
"However, however...they're going to dose him with a quote unquote "considerable dose" of a drug named laudanum, that's L-A-U-D-A-N-U-M. They say it's to hide him from the workings of the time machine mausoleum thing, and that it would not danger his health, but from what I've found from a brief search, the drug is quite lethal. Only a few teaspoons are enough to kill. So I want you, and maybe an associate like Chelsea Singh, to go attend the mausoleum awaiting Larrison's arrival, and get him any medical treatment he needs, aye?"
"Aye, aye. Oh, but what if they give me the laudanum thing too? Because I've got a vague idea of how the Courtoy mausoleum operates, since the last time I went to send that telegramme, even though I think it was just mainly luck."
"I... Just don't say anything about that. He wouldn't know. If worst comes to worst, Ms. Singh or whomever you're bringing could help you. And if you're really scared, bring a knife or something to defend yourself. But really, I don't think it poses much of a threat.
"Uh...alright, alright. And, um, if I may ask, why are you going to London, Mr. President?"
"To be honest, I'm not quite sure...But it's no use staying in Cabot in this situation. I'll get better and quicker access to the Eastplatines in London; if any problem comes up I can deal with it directly. And, also, when Larrison arrives, tell the Timeless Affairs fellow arriving with him — presumably there'll be someone — to come back when I arrive. I want to speak to him."
"Alright, sir. Well, see you in London."
"See you."

21 September 2022 A.D., 19:52 local time
Brompton Cemetery
Fulham Road, London SW10 9UG, United Kingdom

In the chilly London night, Chelsea Singh and Matthew Blackheath sit conspicuously on the steps of the Hannah Courtoy mausoleum. Finished reading the letter from East Plate in its entirety, Singh and Blackheath had done some research about some things mentioned in it, like laudanum, which appeared to be quite commonly used in 19th-century medicine despite its horrible side effects. Blackheath, trying to move on from the rather morbid topic of drug addiction, decides to search up the actress that supposedly has the Glancey, though he expects the search to be fruitless.

Google

theodora parlow

All Images Videos News Maps More

About 126,000 results (0.56 seconds)

https:/‎/infinityexplorers.com › theodora-parlow-time-trav ... ⋮
Meet Theodora Parlow, A Time Traveler From A British Uruguay ...
In 1982, a woman dressed in fancy Victorian attire appeared in a stranger's house in Montevideo, Uruguay, South America. She said her name was Theodora Parlow, and that ...

Blackheath almost jumps from his excitement and curiosity. "Look!" he exclaims to Singh. "Theodora Parlow. British Uruguay. That's her, innit?" He clicks on the article and starts reading.

21 September 2022 A.D., 20:35 local time
London Heathrow
Longford TW6, United Kingdom

President Edward de Saint-Pierre calls Matthew Blackheath.

"Allo? It's Edward."
"Hello, Mr. President, Matthew here, with Chelsea Singh at the mausoleum."
"Perfect, perfect. Just wanted to let you know that I've landed. I'll be taking the Tube to Earl's Court, right around there. It'll be about fifty minutes until I get there. Have you guys got any updates yet? Has Larrison arrived?"
"Not yet, sir. But we do have a discovery that we've made."
"What is it?"
"It's about Theodora Parlow, that actor...ess that apparently bought the Glancey; they told you in the letter."
"Aye. What've you got on her?"
"So, I searched her up, and, apparently, she appeared in Montevideo in 1982, and then, five days later, she vanished. So, I think we can go get her...we know her time and whereabouts. I'll show you some more information once you arrive."
"Oh, incredible! But...do we know what timeline she's in?"
"Uh...our timeline, of course. It appeared in my Google search, and I'm in this timeline, obviously."
"Oh, right. Silly me. Okay...I think we should just wait until Larrison comes, deal with that whole situation, and then tell the Eastplatines about this. We'll figure out the best way to approach this in collaboration with the Eastplatines."
"Alright, sir, well, we'll be on the lookout for Larrison, aye? Chelsea, do you want to say anything? No, not really. Alright. See you in fifty minutes, Mr. President."
"See you."

21 September 2022 A.D., 21:21 local time
Brompton Cemetery
Fulham Road, London SW10 9UG, United Kingdom

President Edward de Saint Pierre walks towards the flashlight in Brompton Cemetery. Arriving at the source, he sees Matthew Blackheath, Chelsea Singh, and a man wearing Victorian clothes at the fabled Hannah Courtoy tomb. He shakes their hands.
"Chelsea. Matthew. And what is your name, sir?"
The man responds. "Lewisham. Thomas Lewisham."
"I assume you are working with the Ministry of Timeless Affairs?"
"Yes. And you are the President?"
"Aye. Edward de Saint-Pierre, president of Insulamia. Nice to meet you."
"Good to meet you as well, Mr. President."

The President turns to Blackheath. "So, what do you have for me?"
Blackheath asks Lewisham: "Do you mind hearing some revealing stuff about the 'future'? We can talk in a...um...an area away from here so you don't get future spoilers, if you want."
"I think I will go on a walk around the cemetery." Lewisham responds. "You can call me if you need me back."
"No, actually, how about you stay here and we will stroll around the cemetery, aye? 'Cause even walking around can reveal some unwanted stuff."
"Alright, go on then."

So Blackheath, Singh, and de Saint-Pierre head off on a wander around Brompton Cemetery.
"Okay," Blackheath says, "Pleasure to meet you, Mr. President."
Singh repeats Blackheath's line. The President nods.
"I just want to ask, before I tell you the Parlow stuff, why do you have a beard now?" Blackheath laughs.
"Oh, it's a fake beard. I just didn't want to get recognised, you know? Not that I am a particularly famous guy; probably more than half of Insulamians don't know who I am, let alone foreigners and let alone knowing my appearance. But I've got to be careful when dealing with matters like this. Anyways, so what's with Lewisham and Larrison?"
"So Larrison and Lewisham arrived about half an hour ago." Singh says. "Larrison had poisoning from the laudanum, and we managed to get him an ambulance to the Chelsea & Westminster Hospital, where I think he'll recover. We got into a bit of a kerfuffle with Lewisham on drugging Larrison, but kind of sorted it out alright."
"Are you sure that Larrison's going to be fine?" the President asks.
"Well, I'm not sure. I'm not a medic, but his breathing did not look too restrained. Usually with opium poisoning, the respiratory system is restricted."
"Alright, then. What do you have on Thea Parlow, or what's her name..."
"Theodora Parlow." Blackheath corrects. "So what we've got...I think it's best explained in a video. Chelsea, can you show him the video?"
"Yep, coming up." Singh materialises her phone, finds the YouTube video titled "Top 10 Unexplained Time Traveler Mysteries", and navigates to number 3, the section on Theodora Parlow.

Number 3. On the night of April 9th, 1982, a woman by the name of Theodora Parlow would appear in the bedroom of a house in Montevideo, Uruguay. The homeowner, who thought she was an intruder, promptly called the police and had her arrested. When interviewed by the police, she attested that she was from the year 1876 in the Victorian era, which reflected her odd clothing. Stranger yet, she claimed that in her world, Uruguay, which is in our world a Spanish-speaking Latin American country, was a British colony that spoke English, which was the only language she spoke. The local police had to get a person to translate when talking to her, and even the translator had difficulty understanding her strange accent. She claimed that she was a famous actress and singer in her time, and that she had recently bought a strange Egyptian device that looked like a lamp. This lamp was apparently a time machine, as when she thought of the date 1 January 2000, the lamp began pulling her into the future. When it was still moving, she let go and kind of "fell" into the year 1982. Like many other time travelers on this list, Theodora Parlow was sent to a psychiatric hospital and subject to further questioning. She was searched and was found to have no ID. Her appearance did not match that of any person in the Uruguayan government database, missing or not. When they researched records from the 1870s, there was also no record of a "Theodora Parlow". She talked of places that either didn't exist or had different English names compared to their Spanish counterparts. The only two things that were similar between her world and ours was the name of the city Montevideo and the name of the street where her house was, Buenos Aires. Five days after she first appeared in 1982, a commotion was heard in her psychiatric ward and it would turn out that she vanished without a trace. To this day, Theodora Parlow remains an unexplained incident that is popular in local legend in Montevideo.

Singh pauses the video. "There! That's her. Look at the photograph in the letter and in the video, they're the same person for sure. Not to mention all that other evidence."
"Alright, so what do we do with this information?" the President says.
Blackheath replies. "I think, and I may be wrong on this, but I think her vanishing is us taking her. So I suggest we go to April...nine plus five, that's April 19th, 1982, and we go get her and extract information about the Glancey from her."
"Wait, didn't the video say that the lamp was going to the year 2000? Why don't we go to 2000 and get the Glancey first?"
Singh counters: "I think we should confirm that that's where the Glancey thing is first by getting Parlow. And besides, we should prioritise the human life before the object."
"Alright, alright. How about we just consult with the Eastplatines first before doing anything?"
"Well, how are you going to communicate with them without the Glancey? Are you going to write another letter now and have Lewiston or whatever his name is deliver it to Montevideo?"
"No," the President replies. "I think I will send a telegramme."

22 September 1876 A.D., 10:19 local time
General Post Office
St. Martin's Le Grand, City of London

Much to the protest of Thomas Lewisham, Edward de Saint-Pierre is in 1876 London of the Eastplatine universe. He writes out a message on a telegramme sheet:


EYRE & SPOTTISWOODE, London
No. of Telegram…………………………
Office Stamp.





‎
POST OFFICE TELEGRAPHS.
If the accuracy of this an Inland Telegram be doubted, it will be repeated on payment of
half the amount originally paid for its transmission; and, if found to be incorrect, the
amount paid for repetition will be refunded. Special conditions are applicable to the repetition of Foreign Telegrams.

Charges     £  s.  d. 
to pay               ‎
Handed in at the  GPO London          Office at  10:20 a  .M.  Received here at           .M.

TO{  Minister Theodore Campbell; 78 Wade Lane, Montevideo, East Plate.

Received 20 September letter stop Am in your 1876 London with timeless member Thomas Lewisham
stop Larrison arrived with laudanum poisoning stop Found information on Parlow stop She in
Insulamian timeline but year 1982 Montevideo stop We think lamp in 2000 Montevideo unsure what
timeline stop Please advise what should do stop Send reply quick to Lewishams house London

      Edward




N.E.—This Form must accompany any inquiry made respecting this Telegram.

‎

by **East Plate** » Sun Sep 25, 2022 8:01 pm

This is a response to the last correspondence from the Government of Insulamia

21 September 2022 A.D., 20:04 local time
Brompton Cemetery
Fulham Road, London SW10 9UG, United Kingdom

"Finally some time to rest!" thought Thomas, seeing the Insulamian trio walk towards the main avenue of Brompton Cemetery. "Looks like what they tell us at the Ministry is true... cemeteries are the only place that will be left alone through time. This place certainly looks like it hasn't been touched since the 1870s! How disgraceful! They can't even bother to remove the weeds!" he said to himself while looking at the neglected state of Hannah's mausoleum and cutting down a disgusting-looking plant that grew between its steps. "Do these people have any respect for the dead left?"

A quick glance around the mausoleum confirmed that the sad state of Hannah's final resting place was not an exception, but the norm in the cemetery. The grass was extremely tall and untidy, the tombs were completely taken over by weeds, and many were tilted or already had fallen to the ground as a result of neglect and the passage of time. However, it wasn't until Thomas noticed the complete absence of flowers or family mementos on the graves that he realized the truth... all these people had been forgotten!

Thomas took a few seconds to lean near some of the graves to read the names of those buried there... "Taylor Hunter, 1854... Prudence Weddall, 1847... Edmund Collins, 1861..." and then it hit him... "Sacred to the Memory of Vincent Cameron, Husband of Catherine D. Cameron. Died 21, Sept, 1876" Thomas was not standing in front of the graves of some random forgotten people, he was in front of his own future. Just as Vincent, Taylor, Prudence, and Edmund had been forgotten, he, and all those he knew and loved, were going to be forgotten too. The mission of the Ministry of Timeless Affairs had suddenly become much more real, and personal, to him.

━ "Mr. Lewisham?" A voice interrupted Thomas' thinking.
━ "Oh sorry, Mr. President. I was just... uh... distracted."
━ "I will need you to bring me to 1876..."

. . .

22 September 1876 A.D., 10:21 local time
Ministry of Timeless Affairs
78 Wade Lane, Montevideo, Capital Territory, East Plate

Theodore Campbell was, as usual, in his office in the headquarters of the Ministry of Timeless Affairs on 78 Wade Lane, this time analyzing the different candidates for recruitment to join the ministry, a truly exhausting task that he absolutely hated, as it required reading file after file about seemingly random people of the colony, who for some reason had found interest in Egyptology and dived way too deep into various obscure theories and lost tales about time travel and teleportation while catching the attention of some collaborator of the ministry in the process, who in turn, referred them to Mr. Campbell for consideration. His desk was filled with papers and notebooks where he took notes of anything interesting he came across the files, a much easier task now that a strange-looking pen had appeared together with one of the Insulamian letters to the ministry, as Mr. Campbell no longer needed to continuously dip his nib pen into the inkwell to write, and didn't even need to use the rocker blotter his wife had gifted him to make the ink dry faster, as somehow, the Insulamian pen seemed to dispense just the right amount of ink every time. Ah! The wonders of modern technology!

Suddenly, a knock on the door was heard, and Gabriel Dwyer, one of the highest ranking secretaries working for the Ministry entered Campbell's office.

━ "Mr. Campbell, a telegram from Insulamia just arrived." said Dwyer while Mr. Campbell rushed to hide the Insulamian pen under some papers, as introducing modern technology to East Plate, and let alone using it, was strictly forbidden by the Minister himself.
━ "Thank you, Gabriel. Anything interesting?"
━ "Yes sir. They seem convinced by Theodora's story. It looks like the plan has worked as expected."
━ "Ah, wonderful! I knew Theodora was the right one for this, she never ceases to amaze me. I told the Colonial Secretary that hiring women to work for us was not a bad idea after all! In fact, If it weren't for the fact that she is a woman, I would really be afraid of losing my position as Minister to her!... it is not like the Colonial Government would have a hard time replacing me with her, even our names are almost identical."
━ "Don't be so hard on yourself, Sir. The idea of stealing..."
━ "Eh, Eh, Eh! Borrowing, Mr. Dwyer, borrowing..." corrected the Minister.
━ "Sorry. The idea of borrowing the lamp was all yours, not hers... Without your quick thinking, we would have returned the lamp to the Insulamians as soon as we found out what it was when our collaborator from the Walsham's Antique Art Store sent it to us."
━ "Well, I guess you are right... But the execution! Ah, she is such a bricky woman! She basically sacrificed herself, as we all know that she can't come back to East Plate now that she has been exposed to future knowledge and information. A true patriot..."
━ "I guess she is main bricky indeed, and also main intelligent. I must admit that her idea of sending her to 1982 so she could plant some false evidence of someone accidentally traveling with the lamp to buy us time was excellent. And the whole thing about dropping the lamp! She totally fooled the Insulamians!"
━ "Anyways, did our technicians already figure out how this thing works?"
━ "They are still not completely sure, but as I told you some days ago, we have managed to replicate its capacity to send telegrams to the future, and we have installed our own telegraph office here in the Ministry, with the ability to send messages to the future without the need of Courtoy's Mausoleum. It is still somewhat of little use for us, as we now know that, apparently, people will stop using the telegraph in the future. Nonetheless, it is a nice addition to the Ministry. By the way, the technicians have already finished making their descriptions of the lamp, and elaborated some blueprints of prototypes that we could use for future projects. I can arrange for a copy of the blueprints to be sent to you if you desire it."
━ "Oh, please do. I seem to be the only one who has actually never seen the lamp itself in this Ministry." answered the Minister with interest, before continuing "I do not want the Insulamians to get main suspicious, our communications with them are still important to accomplish our goal of fighting the passage of time, so we should be returning the lamp soon. What was the year that Theodora said she was going to travel to before "dropping" the lamp?"
━ "The year 2000, Sir. The telegram Insulamia sent us also says that, so Theodora effectively managed to leave that hint during her visit to 1982."
━ "Ah, Perfect! We will be delivering the Insulamians the lamp back soon, but keep that dry, I don't want the whole Ministry to know that we are already handing it back. What else is in the telegram?"
━ "It seems that Mr. Larrison has arrived in 21st century London unharmed, and Insulamian officials have already collected him."
━ "Perfect then. I assume they must be very happy to have him back, and also very grateful to us for our quick and efficient actions to make this possible."
━ "Actually, Sir... They claim that Mr. Larrison has been poisoned with Laudanum. Mr. Lewisham, the man we dispatched to accompany him, even claims that he was about to shake a flannin over it.
━ "POISONED?! Are you suggestionizing that they disapprove of our use of Laudanum? I will have to let them know that Laudanum is perfectly safe as long as you don't drink half the bottle! My wife gives it every day to little Charlie and nothing happens. Well, actually, something does happen, we get to sleep without him crying his lungs out! Next time we will give them some Arsenic, that will teach those Insulamians what truly is being poisoned!"
━ "Yes, Sir." answered Gabriel with a nervous laugh.
━ "Thank you, Gabriel. You can go now, just hand me the telegram, I will write a response to them saying that we will travel to 2000 to retrieve their thing and ask them to keep Theodora as she can't come back" continued the Minister before Gabriel could continue.
━ "Yes, Sir... I... Eh..."
━ "Why do I have the feeling you are not telling me something, Mr. Dwyer?
━ "Well... It seems like we have some... visitors."
━ "Visitors?! Please, be clear Mr. Dwyer. I don't have all day, don't you see this pile of files that Mrs. Cuthbert gave to me this morning? She wants me to find a replacement for Theodora now that we sent her away."
━ "The President of Insulamia himself, Sir. He is in London. Our London. He seems to have traveled by using Courtoy's Mausoleum."
━ "Excuse me, What?!" Said the minister, now as pale as the sheet of paper that contained the telegram.
━ "Lewisham tried to prevent him from coming, but he had no choice, the President seemed determined, and there was nothing he could do, after all, he was alone and unarmed."
━ "Where are they now?"
━ "The telegram says to send a quick response to Lewisham's house in London, they are probably there."
━ "Fetch me a carriage to the British Cemetery. NOW!"

Mr. Campbell jumped from his seat in front of the desk, grabbed his coat and top hat, put on his black gloves, and sped out of the building in front of the attentive gaze of all the Ministry staff, who had never seen the Minister before in such a hurry. Not even a minute had passed since the Minister had left the building when a hansom cab strolled past the door of the Ministry, being immediately stopped by Theodore. As customary, the driver tried to open the door for the Minister to get into the cab, but before he could even get out of the driver’s seat at the back of the carriage, Mr. Campbell was already inside and demanding for the carriage to get moving through the trap door near the rear of the roof that allowed the passengers to talk to the driver.

Luckily for the Minister, hansom cabs are perfect for hurried people, as they are agile enough to steer around horse-drawn vehicles in the notorious traffic jams of nineteenth-century Montevideo, and in just under half an hour he was already on the outskirts of the city, and the majestic entrance of the cemetery, filled with white marble statues and decorations, started to appear from afar to the relief of Theodore.

. . .

22 September 1876 A.D., 11:02 local time
British Cemetery
Montevideo, Capital Territory, East Plate

The British Cemetery, also known as the Dissident's Cemetery during the time of Spanish rule, is one of the oldest in the colony, but also one of the most important, being in continuous expansion with numerous new sections being inaugurated as time passes and new spaces are required for burials. It is to one of those new sections, Section VII, where Theodore was headed. This part of the cemetery was opened for burials in 1850 and is similar in style to the Egyptian Avenue that is found in Highgate Cemetery in London, attracting numerous wealthy Eastplatines to choose it as their final resting place. One of those Eastplatines was Emile Keogh, a wealthy merchant who ordered an Egyptian-style mausoleum to be built in memory of his wife Natalie who died of heart disease on 21 October 1854. Unbeknownst to the still living Emile, the mausoleum was now more than just a memorial to her beloved wife, but a crucial asset for the Ministry.

Theodore walked the multiple paths of the cemetery as he approached the Egyptian Avenue, encountering along the way some families having picnics near the graves of their loved ones, with many ladies bearing baskets filled with fruits, ginger snaps, and beef sandwiches, something totally normal for the time due to the beauty and abundant nature found in the cemeteries, in addition to the closeness with which the Eastplatines deal with death and the untimely departure of beloved family members as a way to maintain the connection they had with a deceased relative. The cemetery, despite the obvious nature of the place, was actually full of life. Not only were there families having picnics at their lots, but women wielded parasols as they promenaded through the winding paths, children laughed and climbed trees and the occasional tombstone, and gentlemen sat on the many benches to read newspapers.

For many, the cemetery was a source of amusement and joy, but for Theodore, it was a source of nervousness and worry. All those people around him would certainly make it very hard to go unnoticed, something that he truly desired, especially if he was to succeed at getting inside the mausoleum of Mrs. Keogh as he intended. Theodore strolled along the paths to the Egyptian Avenue devising plans and strategies to achieve his goal, and thinking of millions of excuses to say if he was caught, but before he could even think of anything that would convince him, the mausoleum was in front of him, standing imperiously among a few dozen of tombs and small obelisks if compared to the huge bronze doors of the mausoleum, marked by three big starts that not even the Minister of Timeless Affairs himself knew the meaning of... although he did not even notice them, as he was too blinded by the thrilling sight of not seeing anyone around.

Without thinking it twice, he closed his eyes, slipped the key of the mausoleum into the lock, and entered as fast as he could, immediately closing the door behind him, just to open it again just as fast as he had closed it and getting outside of that thing without wasting a single second. He nervously opened his eyes as he felt a breeze of fresh air on his face, letting out a sigh of relief: he was now in West of London and Westminster Cemetery, on the steps of Hannah Courtoy's mausoleum.

. . .

22 September 1876 A.D., 15:17 local time
West of London and Westminster Cemetery
Fulham Road, London, United Kingdom

"Ah, good old London! Nice to see you again!" exclaimed Theodore after confirming his arrival to Brompton Cemetery... well, actually, to the West of London and Westminster Cemetery as it was called then. Despite being the Minister of Timeless Affairs, he had actually never used the Keogh Mausoleum's teleportation abilities to travel to London, as he was usually the one giving orders for others to use it, rather than the one using it, so seeing that he had ended up in London as intended was truly a relief... after all, he could have ended up in Canada, the Australian Colonies, or, God forbid, France. When one uses a machine that can send you to a plethora of different Egyptian-styled mausoleums around the world, the chances of ending in the wrong place are endless.

However, Theodore rapidly snapped back from his state of relief when he remembered why he was in London. He had to deal with the little intrusion of the President of Insulamia. "What on earth is this man trying to do?" "Who told him that he was welcome to use the Mausoleum?!" "I will shove a bottle up Laudanum up his... whatever!" the Minister thought while furiously walking through the streets of the cemetery, and then down Fulham road towards Lewisham's house.

Thankfully the cold breeze of the streets of London helped Theodore to cool down and start thinking a bit more rationally. Despite Edward's sudden intrusion into Eastplatine time, the plan didn't seem to be compromised at all, in fact, maybe the Ministry could use Edward's visit to its advantage and make the whole thing even more believable. "Without the lamp, the Insulamians are probably not capable of traveling through time, which could explain why the President is here, as he needs our Mausoleum to retrieve it" the Minister thought. "Maybe I can allow him to use it to go and get Theodora, under the excuse that we can't be exposed to her as she could reveal to us some information from the future, while we go to the year 2000 to get the lamp, which obviously can't tell us anything as it is... well... inanimated" he continued. "Of course, we wouldn't actually go anywhere, we would just send it to 21st century Brompton in the Insulamian timeline through the mausoleum, and act as if we actually went to the future to retrieve it" the Minister concluded.

"Not my brightest plan" Theodore recognised "but it will do."

Convinced of his plan, the Minister stopped walking. "Maybe it is better if I don't reveal that I am here to the President? Me suddenly showing up where he is would look a bit desperate on our part and rise some suspicions" he concluded while looking at a library across the road. "Yeah... A note slipped under Lewisham's house door will suffice for now."

Dear Mr. President of Insulamia;

It is a surprise for me to learn that you are now in 1876. As far as I am aware, I did not give any authorisation for you to come to London, and I certainly did not allow you to make use of our methods to travel through time. This is a clear breach of the trust the Ministry of Timeless Affairs had with you and your nation, and you can rest assured that we will act accordingly to this in the future. You must understand the dangers in which you put yourself by traveling to our timeline, and how you could easily jeopardize the operations of the Ministry if you were to be discovered.

In light of the current events, I must assume that you are now aware of the nature and details of how this Ministry works. I, therefore, request that you are honest about this in name of the friendship cultivated between our two nations, and disclose to us the exact extent of your understanding of the Eastplatine ways of time travel as soon as you find it convenient. If you decide otherwise, we will be left with no other choice than to terminate communications with Insulamia completely, as clearly stated when we first reached out to you.

It is, however, clear to us that we must set aside our differences temporarily to work together in order to find your time-traveling device and locate Theodora Parlow. After much thinking, I have decided to grant you, that is, the President of Insulamia, Edward de Saint-Pierre, and only you, permission to operate Hannah Courtoy's Mausoleum to travel to the year 1982 and find Theodora. We would of course do this ourselves, but we can not risk being exposed to any information from the future that she may be inclined to tell us. That is also the reason why I can not allow her to come back to East Plate once she is located, and request you to take care of her by bringing her to our Diplomatic Legation in Insulamia. I also request Mr. Lewisham to accompany you on your mission to assist you in anything related to the operation of Courtoy's Mausoleum, but he will not be venturing far from the Mausoleum itself.

Meanwhile, I have arranged for members of the Ministry to travel to the year 2000 to locate your lamp as soon as you give your consent to this plan. As you can probably imagine, this is much less risky for us than looking for Theodora, as your lamp, as far as we are aware, will not be revealing anything from the future to us. Please inform us of any details that may be helpful to locate it as fast and precisely as possible. Once located, it will be delivered immediately, through the Mausoleum, to your timeline by one of our members.

I apologise for the brevity of this note, but as you will understand, at this time both Insulamia and the Ministry must deal with more important matters than chatting.

Yours Sincerely;

Theodore Campbell

Roblox PC · by **Kingdom of Intermaria** » Mon Sep 26, 2022 5:30 am


Establishment of Cultural and Diplomatic Legation
This is an official document of the Ministry of Timeless Affairs of East Plate
  SECTION I - GENERAL INFORMATION

 Name of the requesting nation (include pretitle):  The Commonwealth Federation of the Federation of Aituia
 Where is your nation located?:  North-west of the Pacific
 From which year are you contacting us?:  1878, March 10
 Why do you want us to establish a Cultural and Diplomatic Legation in your nation?:  
"As we would like an permanent, and long relations with the East Plate government. We would like to be allied." - Ambassador Hirin Tukolapuku'ilai (family names back then were long)
  SECTION II - ON HOW TO CONTACT YOU

 Please provide us with instructions to be able to contact you: (If your make an embassy request to my region, Aituian Government.)
 Do you have any special requests?:  "We honestly do not want to go time travel, or any lunacy to get an response, but alright, I trust you. It is optional for you to wait 2 years to catch up to our time, or use those 'time travel' machine or somethin'." Hirin Tukolapuku'ilai

  SECTION III - NOTIFICATION OF RISKS AND DANGERS 

 Do you understand the risks linked to possible disruptions in your timeline by contacting the past?:  YES
 Do you understand that you must not intentionally provide us with information about the future other than the strictly allowed?:  YES
 Do you understand that you must not investigate the Ministry of Timeless Affairs and its ways to contact you?:  YES

The Ministry of Timeless Affairs reserves the right to refuse to initiate further communications with your nation even if this form is filled correctly.

by **Insulamia** » Tue Oct 04, 2022 5:54 am

Ah, there goes the ideal of reporting affairs to this thread at the exact time they take place. These events which I only report now have long past; already, almost a fortnight. But for what? Just so the User can have a rest undue? Just to facilitate Their procrastinateries? Nevertheless, with my sincerest apologies, I present to vou a much-delayed story in three parts.

━ The Puppetmaster of Insulamia

24 September 2022 A.D., 08:11 local time
Eastplatine Legation to Insulamia
12 Amberley Terrace, Collindsey, Henria 1010, Insulamia

Melville Woolahan is living under the alias of 'William Mary Roberts' (the names of his dear father and mother) in a townhouse near the city centre of Cabot. The house is pleasantly spacious, though it is rather crowded with at least four people in at all times and often more. Always in the house are Woolahan himself, Eastplatine National Culture Expert Clarence Green (under the alias of 'Finn Lawson'), chef Jérôme Wilkins, and secretary Abigail Calladine. It says something about the Insulamians that the only one of them whose accent Woolahan fully understood was Calladine's, who was originally from Nottingham, of all places. There are also two fellows who are supposed to be his local guides on history, though he has not met them yet and he does not remember their names.

Woolahan opens his 'laptop', where he sees a 'notification' alerting him that an 'email' has arrived from someone named Laura Tran.

Reply
Reply all
Forward
Mark ⌵
Laura Tran <min@ctr.gov.ia>
Yesterday, 23 September 2022, at 19:12
To William Roberts <s21738@ctr.gov.ia>
CC Laura Tran <laura.tran@gov.ia>; Edward de Saint-Pierre <president@gov.ia>; Finn Lawson <s37046@ctr.gov.ia>; Abigail Calladine <s93828@ctr.gov.ia>
Dear Mr. Woolahan,

I am Laura Tran, the Minister of Culture for the Federal Government of Insulamia. I heard that you and your colleague are settling in to the new life in 21st-century Insulamia quite well, which is excellent to hear. In future, I expect you and Mr. Green to work with us in building a record for our knowledge and our rememberance of your country in your time in your world.

But before I learn about your country, I would like to know more about you and Mr. Green. May you please write me a short biography of yourself and describe what your journey to Insulamia was like? I would prefer if you do so in a Typewriter, Microsoft Word, or Google Docs document. Ask your secretary, Miss Abigail Calladine, if you require any assistance in this matter.

Best regards,

Laura Tran/Trần Thị Phương Lan
Minister of Culture
Representative for Alexandria

Federal Government of Insulamia
Ministry of Culture
15 Anderson Square, Rosingburgh, Henria 1003
1200 907 006 | ctr.gov.ia | ctr@gov.ia

PS: Would you like me to call you by Melville Woolahan or by your alias William Roberts?
The above message reflects the personal views of its author and does not necessarily represent the views of the Federal Government of Insulamia as an entity.
If you have received this message and are not its intended recipient, please notify the Federal Government (unintended.recipient@gov.ia) and destroy the contents of the message immediately.

by **East Plate** » Thu Oct 06, 2022 5:09 pm

22 September 1876 A.D., 17:03 local time
Ministry of Timeless Affairs
78 Wade Lane, Montevideo, Capital Territory, East Plate

Upon receiving de Saint-Pierre's envelope from the hands of Mr. Lewisham, the Minister reached one of the pockets from the inside of his frock coat in search of his trusty paper knife, a gift given to him by his uncle at the wooden anniversary of his marriage with Mrs. Campbell, and cut the envelope open with a swift hand movement, making its contents available to the minister as he walked towards one of the windows of the room to have some extra light to allow him to read more easily.

"What is this?" Mr. Campbell thought while his face unconsciously showed disgust upon seeing the poor and sad state of the letter that was before him. "How can a distinguished and educated gentleman as the President of a nation allow himself to send a letter in this horrible condition?" the minister asked Mr. Lewisham, turning from the window to show him the letter from afar, receiving only a slight bow in acknowledgement of his words as Lewisham stuffed a biscuit in his mouth. "I guess they no longer follow epistolary etiquette in the future" scoffed Mr. Campbell, as he began to read.

I apologise for the untidiness of this note. I am rushing to write this quite a fair bit, and Mr. Lewisham does not seem to have an eraser anywhere around for me to use. It surprises me that you have sent this letter so quickly; even by my 21st-century standards, six hours or less is a very short time to deliver a physical letter such a distance as from South America to Europe. It also astounds me the arrogance of some of the language in your previous letter, that, in my view, has no grounds in reality.

"And clearly they do not teach general etiquette either. Excusing one's faults or errors on others is just... despicable." the Minister thought as his blood was slowly getting hotter and hotter as he read the first paragraph of the letter. Not much due to de Saint Pierre's words, which he knew were maybe even a bit true, after all, he was still angry at the President's intrusion in Eastplatine time when he wrote the initial letter, and maybe his tone was indeed a bit too harsh, but at the fact that he started to realise that his impulsive decision of delivering the letter to Lewisham's house directly may have actually revealed more about the Ministry's works than he had initially thought, and now the President was starting to suspect that something else was going on other than simple "time manipulation."

And who are you to authorise me to come to your timeline?

"Is he seriously asking me this?" Campbell wondered. "Do I have to remind him that in this timeline he is nothing but a mere old man without any titles, property or money?" the minister said to himself in a tone more worthy of pity than mockery. "For all that he is worth here, he is nothing more than a destitute old man who has lost his mind thinking that he is the President of a country that does not exist, on an island that does not exist either, in almost 150 years into the future... good luck surviving in 1876 London without my Ministry's help."

Also, the "danger" that you claim I face is not elaborated on in your letter; as far as I am aware, it is virtually non-existent.

"Oh, really?" Campbell couldn't help but let out a small laugh as he read the President's innocent words. "How exactly are you planning to get something to eat if Lewisham does not provide it to you, Mr. President? Or, god forbid, what will you do if you get robbed and stabbed on the dark streets of London? Or simpler yet, what will you do if you trip and fall from the stairs of Mr. Lewisham's house?" Campbell wondered wishing de Saint Pierre could answer him. "Of course, we can send you to our hospitals, but I doubt they could do much to save an old man's life like yours... or we could send you back to Insulamia, if we arrive there in time, of course. Or perhaps we can send them your corpse? After all, you would arrive at a cemetery anyways..."

I have carefully made sure not to bring any items from the future with me on my journey, not even my clothing

"His... clothes?" wondered the Minister, horrified with the mental image of a naked old man travelling through time.

"Thomas! Please tell me the President was wearing something when you brought him to London."

"Yes... Yes, of course, Minister." Answered Lewisham somewhat surprised by the question. "I told him it was not necessary to leave his clothes in 2022, but he insisted. I even told him that I could lend him my coat to cover his modern clothing while we went to my house, but he was set on the idea that he could not bring his clothes to 1876, so I made a quick visit to my father's house and brought him something appropriate to wear before actually letting him come."

"Oh, thank God!" Campbell answered relieved.

The minister continued reading through the paragraphs of the letter as he realised that the Insulamian President did not sound too convinced by the hastily assembled plan to recover Theodora and the lamp that he had written in the previous letter. "What exactly does he want us to do then? He won't accept travelling alone to "rescue" Theodora, but he does not want us to go to the future either as it would "reveal" undesired information to us" the minister wondered, "it is almost as he wanted to force our hand to let him and his fellow countrymen use the Mausoleum freely." he said to himself, while also noticing the annoying insistence with which the Insulamian President talked about the difficulties that travelling from London to Montevideo would mean. Believe it or not, everyone in the Ministry had become so accustomed after so many years of using Courtoy's Mausoleum in London and Keog's Mausoleum in Montevideo that the whole concept of traditional travel between the two cities was almost unheard of, so suddenly being constantly reminded of that pesky little detail was something that particularly annoyed the Minister, to the point that he even considered for a few seconds to just reveal the whole truth to the President.

Campbell continued reading just to discover a page fully covered with a lengthy postscript... another reason to believe in Insulamia's apparent lack of epistolary etiquette, the minister concluded, as lengthy postscripts were seen as a clear indication of negligence by the Eastplatine society. The President's assurance that he did not learn much about how to operate the Mausoleum, did, however, please the minister, although only temporarily, as the next paragraphs proved to be of enormous concern for Mr. Campbell.

[...] Therefore, on the 17th of September 2022, I told another colleague of mine (this is the one whom I referred to in the previous paragraph) to go to the mausoleum and try and find some way to alert your ministry of the letter, which, as you know, concerned a very urgent matter. What he claims he did is this: he lockpicked the mausoleum (I do not think he elaborated on this claim fully), went inside, realised it was dark, opened the door to go retrieve his torch, at which point, he claims to have arrived on the 17th of September 1876 in West of London and Westminster Cemetery.

It took a few reads before the minister finally realised the meaning of what he was reading. Not only were the Insulamians recognising that they had used Courtoy's mausoleum without the Ministry's permission, but they were also claiming that they used it without doing the so important rituals that were held as part of the most basic premises of Eastplatine time travel. "Seriously? Does he think I am that stupid to believe that?" Mr. Campbell wondered before retracting himself. "No. He has proven to be smarter than that... he would not come up with such a nonsensical explanation. Maybe this "colleague" lied to him?"

I sincerely apologise for this unauthorised use of Hannah Courtoy's mausoleum, however, you must understand that this was an incredibly important and urgent situation. Also, there was not even a way for us to request an authorisation, as your ministry seemed to be inept at collecting our communications at haste.

"Inept? Really? Says who? The nation who got their time-travelling device lost and stolen?" Thought the minister as he rolled his eyes.

Mr. Campbell finished reading the letter and quickly folded it back into the envelope that contained it, putting both in one of his pockets to later archive them together with the rest of the communications with Insulamia, just as Lewisham finished swallowing the last bits of a biscuit, directing his eyes to the Minister. "Excuse me, Mr. Lewisham, I will get back to you soon" said the Minster before Thomas could say anything, as he walked towards the door that led to a hallway from where he could go to his office to write a reply for the President.

. . .

22 September 1876 A.D., 18:27 local time
Ministry of Timeless Affairs
78 Wade Lane, Montevideo, Capital Territory, East Plate

The past hour or so certainly felt like an eternity for Lewisham who was starting to worry about having left de Saint-Pierre all that time alone in his house without supervision. What if one of his friends went to visit him and the President opened the door? What if the President got bored and decided to take a peak around his studio and found something that he should have not? What if he found the letters between him and Mrs. Norton and discovered their forbidden affair and told someone about it? Or even worse yet, what if he found the love letters between him and Mr. Wilson? His career would be ruined! The more he thought, the more far-fetched his theories became, and the more uneasy he got, but finally, the Minister walked back into the room, now with a carefully sealed envelope in his hand.

"So?" said Thomas, jumping from the chair in which he was seated while waiting for the Minister.

"It seems like you will have to become friends with Edward, Mr. Lewisham" the Minister answered walking towards him. "You will be in charge of making sure he does not get into any trouble while in London, and to provide him with anything he might want or need, alright?"

"C... Certainly, Sir. But... you are not expecting me to... p... pay for all his expenses while in London, right?

"Well, as he is a President, I must assume he is used to a certain degree of luxury, so of course, I do not expect a public servant to be able to pay for whatever it is he might want. I have spoken with the Ministry's accountant and you are cleared to use the Ministry's funds at your own discretion. Make sure he looks like a proper gentleman and also eats like one while here. He might be an unwanted guest, but he is a guest nonetheless, so we must treat him well."

"But... What is he going to be doing in London anyways?"

"Well, I want him to tell me that. As I said in my previous letter to him, he has permission to use the mausoleum for now, so I want you to help with that. Do not tell him how to use it, but make sure he gets to wherever he might want to go using it. If he asks to bring additional people to help him, let him, but there is one simple condition..." Campbell answered while putting a bottle of brandy over a nearby table.

"Brandy? Do you want them to get blootered?" said Lewisham somewhat astonished.

"Exactly. They seem to be too afraid of Laudanum, so the next best thing I can come up with is... well... getting them drunk, or at least drinky. It does not have to be brandy either, that is just the only alcoholic beverage I could find here at the Ministry. Give them whatever it is they desire, or whatever it is they drink in Insulamia."

"As you wish, Sir."

"Good. I also want you to deliver this letter to de Saint-Pierre and return this... uh... artefact to him. I believe one of his men might have forgotten it in the mausoleum some weeks ago. Hopefully, this will spare me the pain of having to read another of his pencil-written letters in the future." said the Minister while handing the Insulamian pen and a black-bordered envelope.

""Oh! Mr. Campbell, I am so sorry. Please forgive my inexcusable conduct, I did not know you were mourning someone." rapidly answered Mr. Lewisham upon seeing the envelope handed to him by the minister, while paying little to no attention to the strange-looking pen.

"Oh no, no, no... Do not worry, Thomas. I am not mourning anyone." interrupted the Minister trying to explain the situation. "I am just using these leftover envelopes the Ministry used when the late Colonial Secretary Arthur Grey died of yellow fever in 1870. We have had them ever since, and you know that keeping anything related to mourning is a bad omen, so I am getting rid of the envelopes sending them to Insulamia... I do not think these mean anything to them, so I figured out we would be better to actually find the envelopes some use rather than just burning them."

25 Cathcart Street
Kensington, London
UNITED KINGDOM
78 Wade Lane
Montevideo, Capital Territory
EAST PLATE

22 September 1876

Dear Mr. President;

I received your letter replying to my previous correspondence where you made some inquiries about my answers and concerns about your unexpected arrival in London. Please allow me to offer you my most sincere apologies for the tone used in my previous letter. I was clearly not sound of mind when I learnt of your presence here in 1876. I am well aware that it does not excuse me from my ungentlemanly conduct, but this is the first time someone from the future has decided to come to our time, meaning that we are going through completely uncharted waters with your visit, which has clearly affected my temper in the most undesirable ways. Nevertheless, I still consider most of the contents of my previous letter to you to be true, and I will now proceed to explain to you why.

While I do comprehend that you might had no other choice given the precarious circumstances in which you were, using Hannah Courtoy's Mausoleum to come to our timeline, even if you had the approval of Mr. Lewisham, was not only impulsive, but extremely dangerous for yourself. My main concern is for your own health. We are not ignorant of the fact that our knowledge in the field of medicine is, to put it simply, primitive if compared with the knowledge your nation may have in said field of science. You have to understand that what might be a mere inconvenience in your timeline, could be fatal in ours. If, God forbid, something were to happen to you while you are in London, we simply cannot guarantee that we will be able to assist you. I also want to draw to your attention something that you have said yourself in your previous letter: you are, forgive my indiscretion, an old man, which, even if you are healthy at the moment, makes you especially susceptible to health issues, while also making you a potential target of street violence and crime.

Furthermore, you also have to remember that you are basically a complete stranger to our customs. You might be able to trick some people into thinking you are a foreigner from far away lands and use that to justify your lack of knowledge of basic skills in 1876 London, but it is highly likely that you will, eventually, get into trouble with someone as a result of your own ignorance, rather than malice. What will you do if the police questions you? What will happen if they send you to an asylum as our National Guard did when Mr. Larrison found himself stuck in Montevideo? Remember, the Imperial Government has not been notified of the existence of the Ministry of Timeless Affairs, and as such, I honestly can not get you out of there as easily as I got Larrison out. What happens in London is under the jurisdiction of the government from London, and Montevideo cannot, and will not, be allowed to interfere.

You also question my authority to authorise you or not to come to our timeline. I must apologise if this sounded too arrogant, but it is important for you to realise that as long as you are in 1876 London, you are not the President of Insulamia. No one here knows who you are or what Insulamia is. You are, in the eyes of the average British subject, and most importantly, to the eyes of the British Government, a simple destitute old man, without a home, without any money, without any family... and without your time-travelling lamp. I insist, I do not want to sound arrogant, but the Ministry of Timeless Affairs is your only ally here, and it also happens to be the one with all the power at the moment. We are the ones providing you with food if needed, the ones that put a roof over your head, the ones that give you clothes to wear, and also, as far as we are aware, the only ones who can send you back to your timeline unharmed, and the ones helping you to get your lamp back. Do not take this as a threat, Dear Edward, I assure you we have no desire to do this, but have you thought about what would happen if we were to just abandon you in London?

Larrison, and our messengers in other timelines, are also subject to these dangers, but the main difference between you and them is that they always had a way to go back to the relative safety of their own timelines on their own accord, and protocols to follow. You, unless you are not telling us something, have no way to go back to Insulamia, as you are not in possession of your lamp, and came here without any certain plan. That is the main reason why we consider you should have waited for our authorisation to travel to London. You have, unilaterally and without consulting us, placed our Ministry under the responsibility of ensuring your safety while in London, and given us a duty that we did not ask for, and that we were ill-prepared to do. Notifying us of your intentions would have allowed us to prepare for your visit, and prepared Mr. Lewisham to accommodate you. Have you ever wondered how much stress have you inflicted on that poor man? He was told his job was to simply deliver Larrison to you, and instead, he found himself responsible for taking care of a Head of State.

Please forgive me if at any point in this letter I seemed to be aggressive or rude, I have no desire to be either, but I want to be as honest as possible to explain our point of view of the situation to you. I will now direct my attention to more pressing matters, like how to proceed to find your lamp and Theodora.

I must concede that asking for you, and only you, to rescue Theodora may have been a bad idea. I have now reflected upon the idea of letting others accompany you, and decided to grant you permission to use Hannah Courtoy's Mausoleum together with other people of your choosing. However, I insist that keeping the way in which the Mausoleum operates a secret is imperative. As result, and considering your unwillingness to use Laudanum as a way to guarantee the secrecy of the methods used to get the Mausoleum working, I have resorted to more primitive ways to render a person in a state of stupor... alcoholic beverages. Drunkenness is certainly a conduct that I do not endorse, and that no gentleman should ever consider, but it seems like we may have no other choice. I have also considered suggesting the use of Chloroform, but given your negative reaction to the use of Laudanum, which is a far more reliable and known drug at the moment, I believe that using a relatively new and experimental one such as Chloroform may not be of your preference. Hopefully, you will find these terms agreeable if you wish to use the mausoleum.

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You also mention in your previous correspondence that it would be difficult for you to travel from London to Montevideo. I agree. However, I do not see how can I help you with this. I am afraid this is probably something you will have to figure out on your own. Maybe you can use your influence in modern-day Insulamia to get some false documents to allow you and your agents to travel in 1982? I must assume that Insulamia is still capable of issuing the documents it issued 40 years prior with a sufficient degree of accuracy so that they are not detected as false. As for finding out in which ward Parlow is, I suppose you could just ask around hospitals until someone gives you enough information to find her. I know this is far from what you expected from me, but I am afraid I do not know how to provide you with more help than this. However, if you have any other ideas, I will be glad to read them.

As for the risk of us getting into contact with information from the future while travelling to the year 2000, I must once again concede that it was not my brightest idea. However, I have now come up with a new plan, which I hope will not even require us to travel to said year. You see, while I was thinking about how to solve this terrible conundrum in which we currently are, I suddenly realised something that was fairly obvious, but that for some reason eluded me when I wrote the first letter to you. If the lamp is in the year 2000 in our universe, it means it is in the 21st century East Plate, and not in the "Uragay" or whatever was the name of that Hispanic country that replaced us in your universe. This also means that a version of the Ministry of Timeless Affairs should probably exist in that 21st-century East Plate, after all, we already exist now in the 19th century, so I see no reason why we would no longer exist in the future. Now, if the Ministry still exists in the 21st century, we could try to contact them, and well... ask them to send us the lamp back.

In fact, if my theory is true, the 21st-century Ministry of Timeless Affairs is probably expecting us already. We keep a detailed archive of all the communications we send and receive with foreign countries, including yours, so they most likely have read this very same letter I am writing to you now and know that you lost your lamp, and maybe they are already searching for it. There is always the chance that your lamp actually ended up in another universe, but I do not think we lose anything by trying this approach. Best case scenario, we find your lamp, worst case scenario, we have to keep searching. Please, President, let me know your thoughts about this before I give any orders to carry out this plan, but I am certain this will yield positive results for all of us.

Finally, I must address the contents of your postscript. Even if you find this particular person to be very trustworthy, I must tell you that I do not believe that the story told to you by your colleague from the Insulamian embassy in London is completely true. I am certain that the Mausoleum does not work as he described. Members of my Ministry have entered the mausoleum, closed the door, and then got out without being sent to another time hundreds of times. We have never managed to get it to work without performing a series of complex rituals first. It is true that sometimes some of our members have managed to get it to work performing slightly different versions of the rituals, sometimes they forget a specific part, or change something in the order they do things and the mausoleum still works for them somehow, but no one has ever managed to get it to work doing absolutely nothing, and even when someone gets it to work without doing the rituals properly, it seems to be impossible for others to replicate.

I do not want to intrude on how your nation runs things, but I recommend keeping an eye on this colleague of yours. Time travelling is a very powerful tool to know, and not everyone may be loyal enough to refrain from using it for their own benefit. I am not saying that this is the case, but in the past, my Ministry had to deal with people trying to use the mausoleum to visit dead relatives in the past or more trivial things like knowing which lottery numbers to buy to get rich. It is possible this person is not telling you everything he knows to be able to freely use the mausoleum for his own interest. Please keep me informed of anything related to this.

I will make no comments on the reasons why you travelled to 1876 as you are already here, and therefore, none of my objections will have any meaningful impact on the outcome of your visit other than further compromising our relations, which have already been damaged enough by your sudden arrival to London and my improper temper. However, I thank you for providing an explanation to me and appreciate your concerns regarding the security of our communications. Rest assured that we will take all the necessary measures to solve these issues in the future.

Yours Sincerely;

Theodore Campbell

Reply
Reply all
Forward
Mark ⌵
William Roberts <s21738@ctr.gov.ia>
Today, 25 September 2022, at 13:22
To Laura Tran <min@ctr.gov.ia>
CC Laura Tran <laura.tran@gov.ia>; Edward de Saint-Pierre <president@gov.ia>; Finn Lawson <s37046@ctr.gov.ia>; Abigail Calladine <s93828@ctr.gov.ia>
Dear Minister,

I received your letter from the twenty-third of September on my computer. Life in the 21st century is certainly very different to what I was used to, but I seem to be managing quite well, despite some confusions that I am sure you will love to hear in the future. I am glad to help you and your ministry to collect as much information as I can provide about my home, East Plate, and how life was around 150 years ago under the reign of hER mAJESTY qUEEN vICTORIA.

Regarding how to address me, I would prefer to be addressed as William Roberts. All my documents in Insulamia are under that name, so I think it would be wise to use it in my daily life to avoid possible misunderstandings. I seem to be quite a strange fellow around here, so I do not desire to add even more confusion to the mix by using my former name.

As for your request to send you a short biography of myself, I have attached (well, actually, Miss Calladine did) a Typewriter document to this letter. I hope it will tell you enough about me to satisfy your curiosity. Do not hesitate to send any inquiries you may have, I will be delighted to answer them.

yOUR fAITHFUL sERVANT;
William Roberts

Attached documents: William Roberts biography (2)

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Biography of William Roberts.

I was born in the neighbourhood of Islington, London on the 15th day of March, 1843, to respectable parents that I hold so very dear to this day. My mother was Mary Roberts, from whom I take my middle name, while my father was William Woolahan, a fairly successful teacher at a distinguished school in London where I spent a few years of my early childhood. I do not recall much of my life in London, but I am certain that we had a decent life. It was not luxurious, but it surely was dignified as my father could provide for both my mother and me, as well as for my younger brother Patrick who was born in 1847. My mother, like most middle-class women, did not have a formal job, and instead focused on taking care of the household, but I remember that she used to write some poems and short stories that she published with help of my father under his name. Sometimes, she used to read those stories to me and Patrick to keep us entertained, I do not remember much about them, but I surely remember Patrick throwing a tantrum every time she stopped.

When I was 8 years old, my mother was with child again. I remember she wanted a little girl so much, but my father preferred another boy as he wanted to teach both Patrick and me how to be a teacher like him, and he really wanted a "third pupil" as he called us. On the 4th day of September, 1851, little Mary was born to the joy and happiness of my mother. However, the happiness lasted only for a few months, as little Mary fell gravely ill from whooping cough and died just a few days later. Not even a year had passed when Patrick also fell ill with the same disease, perishing not long after. Both my mother and father were completely heartbroken and quickly grew resentful of London as a doctor had told them that the disease was caused by "bad air" from the city itself.

Around the same time as the death of my two little siblings, the government of William Blunden had just been elected in the British colony of East Plate, which was established just a few years prior in 1839. Blunden's government, like most governments of East Plate, believed that the colony needed to be "anglicised" by attracting new settlers from the British Islands, so they started a campaign to attract people from London, Manchester and even Edinburgh and Dublin, with the hopes that one day the anglo population would outnumber the local Hispanics. They offered cheap land for married couples, cheaper ship tickets and the promise of a safe, prosperous new life, far from the diseases of Europe, with plenty of food and opportunities. And so, both of my parents were convinced. We were moving to South America.

We were welcomed in Montevideo in 1854, where we spent around two years living in a small house together with another family that had arrived a few months prior from Birmingham. With a population of around 80.000 souls crammed in a little peninsula, the city itself was not much different from a miniature version of London, save that now, instead of Cholera, Yellow Fever was the main killer, and that meat, a food considered to be a luxury in Europe, was abundant and eaten by virtually everyone. I was already twelve years old and attending a fairly prestigious school in Montevideo thanks to the work of my father as a teacher, when my mother got pregnant again. This time, both my father and mother decided that they would not take any risks, as after all, my mother was already getting older, and this was probably going to be one of the last chances, if not the last chance, to have another child, and so they decided that we would move to Darlington, a small town in the Province of Enfield, near the border with the Empire of Brazil.

Darlington was truly lovely. I have only the best memories of that little town. It had barely around 100 people living in it, and a single school, where my father was, as you probably already guessed, the teacher. There I met Frederick and Sophia, two of my very few friends, and Camilo, a Hispanic boy with whom I was a kindred spirit, despite my father disapproving of the friendship, as a "proper English gentleman" had no business being acquaintances with the "Spanish lowly class." At the beginning of 1857, Elizabeth, my third sibling, and only surviving sister was born. A few months later the largest Yellow Fever outbreak in the history of Montevideo began, claiming the lives of around 8.500 people in a matter of weeks. My parents took this as a sign from God himself, and pledged to never again set foot in the capital of the colony.

Even when we were far, far away from Montevideo, Darlington was hit very hard by the 1857 yellow fever outbreak, as almost every family in our town lost a friend or relative. I do not wish to keep talking about these sad times, as even thinking about the grim memory of seeing nearly every house in Darlington covered with black crepe on their windows and doors brings tears to my eyes. Instead, I want to talk to you about happier times, of which they are many. In particular, I have very good memories of Darlington's little library, which had hundreds of books, most bought by a rich Englishman nicknamed "Lord M", as he apparently resembled William Lamb, 2nd Viscount Melbourne, the British Prime minister from 1835 to 1841 after which the city of Melbourne in Australia is named, and the Prime Minister during the years when East Plate was annexed and incorporated into the British Empire, as well as the first Prime Minister to Her Majesty Queen Victoria.

It was in that library where I spent most of my time outside school, either reading or telling stories with Frederick, Sophia and Camilo, with whom I formed a literary club where we wrote short stories that I shared with my mother and her lady neighbours during their morning or evening calls to our house, but I am certain now that they did not really care about our club or our stories at all. In fact, I think that the only one who cared was Lord M (the one from Darlington, not the British PM, of course), who basically became our patron by giving us all the paper we could ever dream of, which by the way, was much more expensive than it is now in the 21st century. I, as the self-proclaimed president of our literary club, made sure to personally thank Lord M for his kindness, and bestowed on him the honour of always being the first person to read our stories... I now understand how silly this was, we were just mere kids playing to be authors, and our stories were probably complete garbage, but Lord M always seemed to be really excited when I brought a new story to his house, and I was even more excited on the rare occasions when he let me venture into his studio to borrow a book from his private collection, which was filled with old books about past civilisations.

It turns out that Lord M was not only a very charitable person, but also apparently a devoted Egyptologist, as most of the books in his collection talked about Egypt, its history, its architecture, the various tales of its pharaohs and even about "lost technologies" that the civilisation apparently had. As a young child, well, actually a teenager by this time, I was truly fascinated by those books, and I loved to debate with Lord M about the contents of said books. In the books of that private collection, I found one of my true passions in life: Egyptology.

By 1860 I had already finished all my basic education and was 18 years old. My good grades allowed me to be admitted to the Royal University of Montevideo to study Law, and my parents were eager for me to become an academic, so much that they offered to pay for most of my expenses, even if that meant that money would be a bit tight for a few years. They wanted me to be Darlington's first university graduate, and I simply could not refuse them that happiness, so even If I knew that Law was not going to make me happy, I went ahead and moved to Montevideo in 1861, although my parents made me promise that if Yellow Fever ever decided to show up again, I would drop everything and go back to Darlington immediately.

I wish I could tell you some exciting stories about my years at the Royal University of Montevideo, but nothing truly interesting happened. I just spent most of my day studying, eating and sleeping. I had very little time for anything else, and if I ever had free time, I spent it reading the books Lord M sent me from Darlington. It was just... unremarkable. By 1866, being now a young gentleman of 24 years of age, I finally graduated. It took me a bit more time than I expected, but finding the motivation to study such tedious things as English law, and even worse, the copycat Eastplatine Law was simply impossible at times.

I tried to find a job as a lawyer in Montevideo, but it truly made me miserable. I did not enjoy it at all, and I quickly found myself spending more time in saloons, libraries, theatres and sending letters to Lord M and my friends still in Darlington than... well, working. I became a regular face at the famous casino of Peggy Donoughoe, a "founding member" of the Philanthropic Society of Oriental Dames, who made a fortune out of owning gambling halls in Clarence and Port Williams. The casino was certainly not the most reputable place in Montevideo, and it clearly did not help that it made me waste much of the little money I had at the moment, but it allowed me to make acquaintances with many people. Some were little more than your standard half-hour gentleman (those whose good breeding is only superficial) but some were truly kindred spirits with me, also heavily interested in Egypt, and whose wealth and connections allowed them to make regular expeditions to Egypt. I do not consider myself to be particularly sociable or likeable, but my vast knowledge of Egypt thanks to Lord M's books clearly made me an interesting fellow for those people, and soon I started to receive invitations to join them on their voyages.

I could write an entire book about my visits to Egypt (well.. in fact, I did, and published it in one of the many circulating libraries of Montevideo in 1870), but I am not going to write much about them now, as I am sure we will have plenty of opportunities in the future to discuss them if you'd like it. All you need to know is that I was eager to discover and depict all that Egypt offered in journals, books, drawings and paintings, although they, especially the paintings, were not so good if I have to be honest. My imagination was truly ignited by the new ideas of the past that were revealed to me during those voyages, but they also helped to ignite worries in my mind. You see, I am proud of being a British subject, and I am also proud of the vastness and power of the mighty British Empire to which I belong, but seeing the fate of the Egyptian dynasties made me ask questions related to our own empire. Worries about imperial decline made me, and many others around me, regard Egyptian history as a warning of the potential future of not only Britain, but also East Plate. Ancient Egypt was a source of inspiration for me, but also a warning from the past.

If you are familiar with how I ended up here in Insulamia, and what my mission here is, you probably already know where this is going. I spend a good ten years going back and forth from East Plate to Egypt, with occasional stops at Britain and other countries along the way. I made sure to publish all the information and memories I recollected about my voyages every time I came back to East Plate, which allowed me to earn enough money to have a decent life, but it also made people notice me... and in 1871, just as the second great epidemic of Yellow Fever was causing havoc in Montevideo, a strange fellow took me by force into an old abandoned house on Wade Lane. I thought he was going to rob me, or even kill me, after all, the streets of Montevideo were not known for their pristine security, and maybe he had seen one of my books and wrongly thought I was a rich gentleman.

To my surprise, it was nothing of the like. The fellow identified himself as Gabriel Dwyer and told me he worked for a "Ministry of Timeless Affairs." I already told you I really enjoy reading, so you can imagine my disbelief when an unknown man claimed to work for a Ministry capable of time travelling. You might not be aware, but fiction books about similar ministries existing in East Plate are... fairly common, and frankly, quite unoriginal. They are all cheap copies of Edmond Pawlett's "The Ministry of Time," a novel published in 1855 in Montevideo. I could not help but think that Mr. Dwyer was just a poor soul who has lost his mind and was in desperate need of medical attention. However, he insisted that he was telling the truth, and proceeded to tell me a lot of details about my life that only I could know. He knew about my childhood literary club, Lord M, his private book collection, my voyages to Egypt, and my books. It was clear to me that he was not just some random crazy person anymore.

That day I became a "junior collaborator" with the Ministry. They were very clear that if I ever was to say anything about their existence, I would be sent to the Clarence Mental Asylum, which I later learnt works together with the Ministry to... dispose of uncooperative collaborators. My tasks were simple at the start. I just had to help them to write historic essays about East Plate, that they claimed they sent to "foreign governments" for "cultural reasons." Then I started to be asked to help them to understand some Egyptian structures, and then to design some kind of Egyptian-style monuments that looked a lot like mausoleums to me, but that they claimed were "nothing important," just some "side projects of the Ministry." My tasks remained more or less the same until 1876, when I was promoted to "senior collaborator" for my "outstanding contributions."

Until that moment, I was never presented with the opportunity to learn how the Ministry supposedly travelled through time, but as a senior collaborator, I was told that I was to be assigned to my own Legation and be sent to represent East Plate in a foreign nation. I was given saloon class tickets aboard the SS Hipparchus to Liverpool, a suitcase "which contained everything I would need," a few shillings and instructions to go to London, most precisely to the West of London and Westminster Cemetery, where a gentleman under the name of Mr. Lewisham was supposed to meet me. It took me around three weeks to reach London, and just a few hours to find the cemetery, but as promised, Mr. Lewisham was there when I arrived, together with Mr. Green, who had arrived a few moments earlier. I expected Mr. Lewisham to explain how to proceed, but instead, he just bowed, slightly lifted his hat, handed me a bottle of Laudanum and commanded me to drink a bit.

From there my memory is really fuzzy. I remember me following Mr. Lewisham through the main avenue of the cemetery, making a left turn, and then entering a structure with some big bronze doors. I have no recollection of what happened inside there, or anything at all until I woke up on a bench in the cemetery, which now looked a lot more neglected. I walked around for a bit, found Mr. Green also on a bench, and saw people walking around with the most vulgar clothes, which I now know are the standard way to dress in the 21st century. I stared at a lady with a lot of confusion as she ran across the main avenue wearing very tight and colourful clothes, with a strange-looking rectangle in her right hand and some kind of rope hanging from it to her ears. Obviously, now I know this was just a lady doing some footing while listening to music with her cellphone, but at the moment, I was incredibly astonished by what I was seeing, and even a bit scared, but I guess I was not the only looking confused, as I soon realized that some people were staring back at me, probably due to my clothes which looked extremely out of place in this unknown world to me. One of those people looking at me took one of those rectangular devices from his pocket and put it on his ear. Evidently, he was making a call and considering that a few minutes later a police officer approached me, I believe it is safe to assume he was calling the police.

Please excuse me for my lack of detail, but my recollection of the following events is not very good, as I was shocked by what I was seeing and by the fact that I was now starting to realize that what the Ministry claimed was true. They could indeed travel through time, and I was no longer in the 19th century, but clearly in some distant future. I remember looking through the window of the police car, which at that time terrified me with the noises of the engine and the high speeds at which it was moving, not to mention the horrendous siren that stunned me with its loud sound and flashy lights, seeing how people just walked around the astonishing clean streets, minding their own business and ignoring everyone and everything around them, with their heads down looking at those rectangular things. I also remember overhearing the conversation of the policemen who were driving me. They were saying something about a dead Queen, which snapped me back into reality for a moment. I screamed at them demanding to know if the Queen was dead... if Victoria was dead.

I think I passed out at around that time, as I do not remember anything else until I woke up at the Insulamian Embassy in London. I was still incredibly confused by the whole situation, and the ascent with which the Insulamians spoke certainly did not help much. However, they managed to explain things to me. They told me I was in London, in the year 2022 and that I and Mr. Green were going to be sent to Cabot the next day, where we had been allocated a nice home and office for us on 12 Amberley Terrace in the district of Collindsey. I wish I could show you my reaction when they told me we were going to be flying to Insulamia... I think I almost passed out again.

There are still a lot more stories about my life and my little adventure here in the 21st century, but I think it would be better to leave those stories for another moment as this is already getting too long. All I wish to add is that so far this experience has been an incredible one, and that I truly wish to be able to fulfil my duties here in Insulamia as best as I can, hopefully managing to keep the memory of East Plate, and those whom I loved around 150 years ago, alive, at least on the minds of the Insulamian subjects.

by **Insulamia** » Mon Oct 24, 2022 6:15 am

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Ⅰ

LEWISHAM RESIDENCE • 25 CATHCART ROAD, KENSINGTON, LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM • 22 SEPTEMBER 1876 A.D., 22:14

THOMAS LEWISHAM, carrying an oil lamp, enters his home to find the old man asleep (or dead... Lewisham feared, but then he noticed the chest rise and fall) on a rocking chair with a large leatherbound book in his hand. On closer inspection, this book is the Authorised Version of the Holy Bible...which, for some reason, Edward de Saint-Pierre was reading. Lewisham is irrationally anxious for a brief second, rummaging through his memory to see if he had left any incriminating evidence in...the Bible... No, that would be silly, he concludes.
Lewisham considers whether or not to wake him up. The message he carries is probably of great importance and urgence, though it was dark, late at night, and de Saint-Pierre seemed to be in deep sleep. Perhaps it would be best to wait until tomorrow, as to mask the speed of the communications between the nations. But then, how would he explain if de Saint-Pierre finds him asleep the next day? He certainly did not want to stay awake all night. Considering these scenarioes, Lewisham decides that it would be best to wake de Saint-Pierre at the moment.
He lightly taps on de Saint-Pierre's shoulder and quietly speaks. "Sir, Mr. President...a letter from the Ministry here. It is a...I got it...it is a new letter responding to your other one. Do you want to read it, sir?"

EDWARD DE SAINT-PIERRE blinks tiredly at Thomas Lewisham. He must have dozed off while reading...1 John, of a Bible written in very archaic language. That evening, after making a little stew from what he could find and what he could figure out in Lewisham's kitchen, he decided, out of both anxiety and boredom, that it would be as good as a time as any to catch up on some spiritual study.
"A...what is this?" he says. "From the Ministry?"
"Yes, sir. And I've also got...this, which they told me to give to you."
De Saint-Pierre rubbed his eyes and closely examines the pen that Lewisham holds in front of him. It looks very much modern. He glances at the inscriptions on the pen: FRI, massive yellow X, ION...CLICKER 0.5... Before he has time to think about it, Lewisham places both of the objects on the small wooden table beside de Saint-Pierre.
"I will leave it here for you, if you do not mind." Lewisham says.
"Thanks, Thomas." De Saint-Pierre extends out his hand and Lewisham hands him the envelope. "Oh, and, ah, what time is it now?"
Lewisham reaches in his pocket and grabs his pocketwatch. Holding it to the light of the lamp, he reads: "About a quarter past ten, sir. And...uh...if you will excuse me for a moment, sir, I...would you want a candle, sir? The oil lamp is rather putrid in its smell, is it not? I can go get a candle for you."
"Um..." De Saint-Pierre was going to politely decline Lewisham's offer, but after inhaling another breath and cognising the smell of the burning oil, he realises its pungence. "That would be excellent, Thomas. Thank you."
As Lewisham carries the lamp off, de Saint-Pierre reclines on the chair in the darkness, just to rock back again. Admittedly, he feels a little nervous to read laying beside him. Trying to recollect his memory of the letter he last sent to the Ministry, he vaguely recalls a refuting almost all of the points that Minister Campbell had told him.
Lewisham returns with a candle and de Saint-Pierre offers a word of gratitude. He opens the envelope, which was strangely not sealed or otherwise glued at all, and starts reading the letter. After reading the words "Please allow me to offer you my most sincere apologies", his body eases a little knowing that the tone of the message would not be as critical as the previous one.
As he continues scanning the words, he does start to recognise some errors in his reasoning, and it seems that the Minister does as well. De Saint-Pierre arrives at the third paragraph and gets a small jolt of confusion.

You might be able to trick some people into thinking you are a foreigner from far away lands and use that to justify your lack of knowledge of basic skills in 1876 London, but it is highly likely that you will, eventually, get into trouble with someone as a result of your own ignorance, rather than malice.

Hold on, he wonders, how does he know that I pretended to be a foreigner from faraway lands? I didn't...did I tell Lewisham about this? But even if I did...how does Campbell know? Surely I didn't mention it in the letter? De Saint-Pierre decides that he is probably overthinking a simple line which was probably just a lucky guess. He continues reading the letter.

I have resorted to more primitive ways to render a person in a state of stupor... alcoholic beverages.

A flurry of thoughts and concerns rush into de Saint-Pierre's mind. His state of relative relaxation has been interrupted by anxiety at ingesting alcohol. He has not touched a drop for over a quarter of a century, and he is scared at the damaging health effects that alcohol may have on his fragile body. Worst case scenario, he could possibly even regain the alcohol addiction he had worked so hard to rid all those years ago. However, as he rationalises himself, he determines that one drink of alcohol just to get one trip back to the 21st century would have little damage to his health, especially considering that he'd have modern medicine available at his disposal. After returning, he could shift the burden of alcoholism to use the mausoleum onto some of his healthier colleagues in London, meaning he wouldn't have to repeatedly get drunk. De Saint-Pierre decides that the terms the Minister offers are probably pretty good for him. At least he wouldn't have to be 'laudanumed', and he quietly appreciates the Minister's consideration of his resistance to opiate drugs.
Considering the Minister's suggestion of chloroform, he tries to remember all he knows about the substance. Some cartoons and comics he had watched and read in his childhood used chloroform as an incapacitating agent, with a cloth soaked with it pressed against the victim's face. It never seemed to kill the cartoon characters, so perhaps it is safer and more effective than alcohol? Ah, but to base a serious health decision on such a thing as reading bloody Tintin at the age of nine would be foolish. The real effects of chloroform, especially in the early stages that it is at in its research and development, are a unknown to de Saint-Pierre, and they have a high risk of being gravely or even fatally toxic. He decides to stick with the Minister's recommended plan of using alcohol.

You also mention in your previous correspondence that it would be difficult for you to travel from London to Montevideo. I agree. However, I do not see how can I help you with this. I am afraid this is probably something you will have to figure out on your own. Maybe you can use your influence in modern-day Insulamia to get some false documents to allow you and your agents to travel in 1982? I must assume that Insulamia is still capable of issuing the documents it issued 40 years prior with a sufficient degree of accuracy so that they are not detected as false. As for finding out in which ward Parlow is, I suppose you could just ask around hospitals until someone gives you enough information to find her. I know this is far from what you expected from me, but I am afraid I do not know how to provide you with more help than this. However, if you have any other ideas, I will be glad to read them.

The words of the page seem to go in and out of focus and blurriness for de Saint-Pierre as he tries to wrap his head around the Minister's words and the situation he is in. Outdated document forgery? Time travel? Finding a psychiatric ward in Uruguay? This was definitely not what he anticipated when he was honoured with the title of President of the Republic. It all feels like a surreal dream. Perhaps it was?
De Saint-Pierre shakes himself awake, just to find himself in the very same rocking chair in the very same Victorian-era house holding the very same letter atop the very same Bible. "Putain d'enfer..." he curses under his breath. "Je suis trop fuckin' vieux et trop fuckin' fatigué pour faire face à cette bloody merde..." So fatigué, in fact, that he mixes up his languages when cursing.
After a little bit of thought, he concludes that it would be best if he rested now and dealt with the matter in the next morning. What he had read of the letter did not seem too urgent, anyways. And so Edward de Saint-Pierre slips back into a deep slumber, letter in hand, Bible on lap, and flame of candle still flickering.

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Ⅱ

MINISTRY OF TIMELESS AFFAIRS • 78 WADE LANE, MONTEVIDEO, CAPITAL TERRITORY, EAST PLATE • 23 SEPTEMBER 1876 A.D., 10:27

MINISTER THEODORE CAMPBELL opens the wax-sealed envelope that Thomas Lewisham had handed him. Muttering a word of thanks, he pulls out the sheet of paper and reads the message, this time with a cleanliness much improved from the previous one. Though, there do seem to be several places where some faded letters can barely be seen, as if Edward de Saint-Pierre had somehow...erased pen ink? It is certainly peculiar, but the Minister decides to not let curiosity over a small matter like that distract him from the more pressing matter.

‎

78 Wade Lane
Montevideo, Capital Territory
EAST PLATE
25 Cathcart Street
Kensington, London
UNITED KINGDOM

23 September 1876

Dear Minister,

Thank you for your hasty reply (from 22 September).

I do understand some of the points you bring up about the dangers posed to me by being in this time and place, and I apologise for not considering these sooner. In light of these dangers, I shall try to leave as soon as possible, now that most of the necessary coordination between our two parties to retrieve the lamp has been settled.

I can agree to your request of taking alcohol before entering the mausoleum. Like you, I also believe that such a measure is not ideal, but I agree that it is probably the best that we can do in these strange circumstances. If you send a message to finalise this deal, I will try to return to my time as soon as possible.

Regarding Theodora Parlow, I thank you for your understanding of the issues involved in this risky operation. I do not have many developments on it to report. This mission will certainly be challenging, though, and will require a lot of planning before execution. Luckily, time travel means that this can be done at any time, unless it is required to quickly communicate with Ms. Parlow to retrieve some information regarding the lamp. I will try to approach this matter cautiously unless we both run out of ideas on how to find the lamp and need to bring her for questioning. The good news is, according to my (admittedly slightly dubious) sources on the events that happened in 1982, Ms Parlow disappeared without a trace five days after she was admitted into the psychiatric ward. I have no reason to believe this was caused by anything but our operations, so I believe this is confirmation that this mission will be successful.

About your plan to retrieve the lamp from the future. I think it is very much worth trying, considering that nothing would be lost from its failure, even though I do not quite fancy its odds. You may execute it as soon as it suits you and the Ministry. I have no ideas yet on how to continue the search if it fails, but that is a task for another time.

Although I do trust the colleague in question very much, I will take into consideration the concerns you raise about his trustworthiness. I will try to refrain from dispatching him on further time travelling missions, and, rest assured, I will interrogate and investigate his time travelling activities with your letter in mind.

That is all I have to say for now. With any luck, I soon should be back in Cabot, the lamp should soon be recovered, and everything else should soon return back to how it was before this whole ordeal.

Best regards,

Edward de Saint-Pierre
President of Insulamia

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Ⅲ

WEST OF LONDON & WESTMINSTER CEMETERY • FULHAM ROAD, KENSINGTON, LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM • 24 SEPTEMBER 1876 A.D., 08:38

EDWARD DE SAINT-PIERRE drunkenly and fatiguedly rests his head on a side of the cramped mausoleum, hearing Thomas Lewisham's chants and feeling his strange movements in the blackness. He doesn't know how long it has been since he first entered the mausoleum, but it has sure felt like a goddamn long time. Trying desperately to maintain some composure, he closes his eyes and drifts into deep drunken wondering.
I...why...this guy...he takes the longtimes...is it not simple like hold onto the thing and think of the date? ...it is...what is he...surely I can just...whatsthedate...2022...what the month...December? ...no, no, earlier...Divember...no, fuck...the month...what is the name...October! ...that is the month, no? ...the day...what is it the day...twenty...four? ...I don't know anymore...if I just hold the...
Holding onto the unlocking mechanism of the entry, de Saint-Pierre tumbles forward as the slab of stone opens and lands on hard concrete, his fall only dampened by a heap of orange leaves fallen from the trees above.

THOMAS LEWISHAM is getting slightly annoyed at Edward de Saint-Pierre's erratic movements inside the mausoleum. Though Lewisham has not yet messed up any steps of the ritual, he is not even halfway through, and he is concerned that de Saint-Pierre might disturb some of the processes and get them both cursed by Egyptian gods. It sounds bizarre, but who knows what could happen with this sort of witchcraft? Perhaps it wasn't the Minister's best idea to put a drunk man in a time machine after all.
Just as he starts to pronounce some ancient Egyptian key words that he had memorised, he hears a click behind him. Terrified, he swiftly turns around, just to feel the autumn breeze enter through the open entry, and just to see that de Saint-Pierre had disappeared.
Lewisham pauses the ritual and frantically dashes outside, just to find no trace of the old president. He curses himself for not intently observing the drunk man's every move and allowing him to slip away, just like his hope of finding him is doing at this very moment. Looking around, he can only see the solemn-faced families he had seen when he arrived at the cemetery. And the only people who could possibly fit de Saint-Pierre's appearance are deep below the dirt.

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Ⅳ

BROMPTON CEMETERY • FULHAM ROAD, R.B. KEN. & CHELSEA, LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM • 24 OCTOBER 2022 A.D., 09:03

JESSICA AVERY feels tired, annoyed, and spooked all at the same time. Now rushing through a cemetery mere minutes before she awoke, she regrets her enthusiastic acceptance of going to swim classes over the holidays (she only accepted because she heard her best friend Kerry was also doing it). Avery pesters her mother with another complaint to show her disapproval:
"Why did we have to go in the scawy gwaveyard, mum?"
"It's faster this way, love. What, did you want to go all the way around Finborough Road onto Fulham and so on and so on?"
"Uh-huh." Avery gives a nod.
"Well, you're already late, Jessy dear, this is the quickest way."
"Well, I can be a bit late, can't I, mum?"
"Wouldn't want to spoil our first impression, now, would we?"
"But it's—" She sighs. "Why did I have to go on the howidays, mum?"
"Jess, I already told you!"
"And why so early? I want to sleep more. Hmmph." She grunts.
"You said okay to this, Jess! You said that you would wake up at five in the morning to be super early! And now look what you've done! I'm late for my work."
"Why don't we have an auto like the oth—"
Just then, Avery spots something peculiar in the distance to her right. Upon a closer look, she is horrified to make out the figure of a man laying dead in a very freaky position, beside what looks to be a big stone watercloset. He is wearing dull old-fashioned clothes, like a...vampire or something like that would wear. Petrified, she stops dead in her tracks and pulls on her mother's arms.
"Mum! I just see'd a...a monster!"
Her mother briefly glances back at her before pulling her away. "Don't be silly, Jess, you know monsters aren't real." She takes a glimpse at her watch. "Quickly, it's almost ten past already!"
"But mum...mum...I swear..." She is panting. "Will said...he said...lots of...ghosts...and...vampires...and stuff...they...they come out the...the gwound in Hawwowe'en! And it's...it's almost...you know...Hawwowe'en..."
Getting no response from her mother, Jessica Avery continues running and tries to forget the vivid image of horror replaying in her mind.

BROMPTON CEMETERY • FULHAM ROAD, R.B. KEN. & CHELSEA, LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM • 24 OCTOBER 2022 A.D., 09:11

EDWARD DE SAINT-PIERRE, President of Insulamia, comes back to his senses, lying face down on a few dirty twigs and autumn leaves scattered around the hard pavement. Part of him wants to continue to rest, but the other part is panicking over the situation that he has just realised he is in. The latter wins over the President's mind and so he stands up and brushes the filth off the plain Victorian-era suit. Still feeling a little bit tipsy, he tries shaking his head to get rid of the drunkenness, which only seems to make him dizzier.
The President turns around and sees that the mausoleum door he remembers he exited from is now sealed shut. He tries opening it by knocking on the door but to no avail. He turns around and tries to find signs of his companion.
"Thomas?" he calls, but his reply is met only by the chirping of birds. "Lewisham?"
When that fails, he tries to spot signs of the time that he is in when he hears the whirring noise of a helicopter in the distance and the roar of an automobile engine passing by. The President concludes that he must now be in the modern day, though he cannot remember for the life of him to which date Lewisham took him to. It certainly wasn't the same time as when he left; the leaves on the trees are almost completely gone, Matthew Blackheath and Chelsea Singh aren't around, and it wasn't even nighttime.
The President decides that it would be best to head to the Insulamian embassy to get help, but he hasn't a clue where it lies, especially not while his coordination skills are tampered with by alcohol. He stumbles around the cemetery towards the northern exit, trying his best to not appear drunk.
Reaching the pavement of Old Brompton Road, the President has the bright idea of hailing a taxi to get him to the embassy. He sits down on a stone step on the bottom of the fence and keeps his eye out for the famous black cabs that frequent British streets. But a while passes and he does not spot a single one. It is then that he realises that what he thought was a "bright" idea was actually incredibly foolish, seeing as he has no money to pay for a cab fare.
With that plan in the dump, the President brainstorms other ways to reach the embassy. After a while, he runs out of ideas, so he decides just to walk around and ask a stranger for directions. To the first fellow he sees that does not look busy, he asks:
"Hello, lad—" He realises that he forgot to put on a British accent, but nevermind. He's too deep into it now. "—would you mind showing me the way to the embassy of Insulamia?"
"Uh..." the fellow responds, "...sure, sure thing, mister." He exits the app that is currently on his phone and opens up Google Maps. "It says here...two and a half miles. Fifty-two minutes on foot."
The President breathes a sigh of disappointment at the length of the journey. There would be no way that he could remember the route. But then he comes up with a brilliant, if not ever-so-slightly morally questionable plan. "Can you show me the route by public transport? By the Underground or by bus or whatever?"
The fellow clicks on the public transport tab. "You can take...the District line from Earl's Court to Victoria Station... Twenty-one minutes, that."
"So to the station is—"
"Up that way, onto Warwick, take a right..." the fellow interrupts.
"Right. Up there, left, right straight. Can you show me the other end of the line at Victoria Station?" the President asks. "Right. From there I go...up, left, right, left. Perfect. Thank you so much for that, lad."
"No worries, mister." the fellow says, and he continues on his merry way.

EMBASSY OF INSULAMIA IN LONDON • 1 LOWER GROSVENOR PLACE, WESTMINSTER, LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM • 24 OCTOBER 2022 A.D., 09:42

PRESIDENT EDWARD DE SAINT-PIERRE makes it to the embassy by excusing himself to the guard at the ticket gate in Earl's Court Station, falsely claiming that he left his Oyster card at home. He is greeted by Chelsea Singh, who calls Matthew Blackheath to welcome him as well. They go to a private study room in the embassy, where they discuss.
"So, uh..." the President begins, "I just want to start by asking what the date is."
"It's the twenty-fourth of October." Singh replies. "You've been missing for a month, Mr. President."
"What? I...no, I—"
"The night you left was the night of the twenty-secon—"
"That's only, what, two days ago?" the President interrupts. "Oh, sorry for interrupting. Continue."
"Well, as I was saying," says Blackheath, "it was the night of the twenty-second of September. And now it's October."
"Oh, right. Well, I've gotten myself into quite a bit of a mess, haven't I? Should...should I use the mausoleum thing again to return to 22 September, then?"
"No no no, Mr. President," Blackheath responds, "um...well...so the problem is that...it's not really a problem but—"
Singh finishes his sentence for him. "So what's happened is that the primeminister, Josh Canni—"
"He'd prefer to be called Joshua, not Josh..." says the President. "Oh, sorry, silly me, interrupting all the time. Still a bit drunk, you know?"
"Drunk?"
"I'll explain later. Continue."
"So, um, where was I? Ah, the primeminister. He told me that he got a voice message from you on 22 September telling him that you were going to return on this exact day, 24 October, and that he needed to say to the public that you suffered damage to your health while on a trip to the UK."
"What?"
"It's...complicated...but I think you need to send that exact voicemail to him."
"In the past?"
"Ah, well, here's the thing. Chelsea and I have discovered a funky thing about the mausoleum on that night of the twenty-second. And that is that you can actually get your phone to kind of...'be in the past' if you set the date back in the settings and you're in the mausoleum."
"I'm baffled." admits the President.
"So...basically you can send digital messages through time if you're in there. So what we want you to do is to go to the mausoleum, preferably today, and send that message to complete the 'time loop' or whatever."
"Aw...my head hurts but I kind of understand." the President says. "But...I don't think you should have...the Eastplatines said explicitly not to investigate their methods of time travel..."
"What? Really? Well, how were we supposed to know?"
"Didn't I tell you not to do that in my first message to you, Matt? And you too, Chelsea? I'm pretty sure."
"I don't think you did..."
"No, I'm pretty sure I did..."
"Well, that's all in the past now, aye?" Blackheath chuckles. "Ha. 'The past'. Ironic, innit? But anyway, like I say, it's in the past, and we can't change that, I don't think, we were destined to do that. Just like you're destined to send that voicemail message to the PM."
The President sighs and swallows. "Alrighty, then...I think I'll do that whole voicemail stuff in the afternoon, aye?"
"Aye. So what was that you were going to tell us about being drunk?"

"...and so I ended up here. Aye, that's it. Any questions?" The President finishes the retelling of his story and chuckles.
"Right, so...we should be...planning the rescue that lady,"
"Aye."
"And...you said that Thomas would come every day to 'check the mail', so to speak?"
"Aye. So what I was thinking was that I'll return to Insulamia, and then I'll send you whatever messages I need to send to them folk. You print them out, go to Brompton, place it on the steps of the mausoleum, and Tommy will fetch them everyday at midnight. Aye?"
"Aye, gotcha." There is a slightly awkward pause.
"So...did anything else big happen in the last month? Not just regarding...this whole mess."
"Truss's resigned." Chelsea comments.
"Aye, should have seen that coming, to be frank..."

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Ⅴ

MINISTRY OF TIMELESS AFFAIRS • 78 WADE LANE, MONTEVIDEO, CAPITAL TERRITORY, EAST PLATE • 25 OCTOBER 1876 A.D., 8:15

MINISTER THEODORE CAMPBELL opens the envelope, this time sealed in the mysterious futuristic paste, after hearing Thomas Lewisham explain his circumstances regarding the Insulamians thusfar. He holds in his countless questions for Lewisham, especially regarding the disappearance of Edward de Saint-Pierre, to read the letter foremost.

‎

FROM THE DESK OF THE PRESIDENT

78 Wade Lane
Montevideo, Capital Territory
EAST PLATE
1 Lower Grosvenor Street
Westminster, London
UNITED KINGDOM

24 October 2022

Dear Minister,

I have received your note from the 23rd of September. I am happy to confirm that I have indeed returned to my universe and my time, though not yet my country; I am still in the Insulamian Embassy in London. I followed your directions of drinking a considerable amount of alcohol before entering the mausoleum to render myself into a state of stupor.

Unfortunately, something seems to have gone wrong, from my view of it, at least. I do not know what caused it, but I came to my senses lying on the ground next to the mausoleum earlier in the morning of today, the 24th of October 2022. Looking around, I could not see Lewisham anywhere, nor my colleagues.

Now what is peculiar about this, as you may have recognised, is that I arrived to the date of 24/10/2022, when I think I should have arrived at 22/09/2022, more than a month earlier. I am not sure if this was caused by a fault on Lewisham's part, mine, or some other external force that I am unaware of. I know nothing further on this than what I have just stated, as I seem to have forgotten most of my recollection of the events of that day. Please discuss this with Mr. Lewisham and fill me in on what I may have missed; this appears to be very strange to me...

Now, I had arranged a deal with Thomas Lewisham that he would travel to my universe and my time every day to collect any letters I may have sent. With the situation I find myself in, I unfortunately must mail this one month after what you may expect, and I hope you can understand this. I assume that you are receiving this on 24 October or later; I sincerely apologise to you and to Mr. Lewisham for the month without communications.

I have no updates concerning Theodora Parlow, but I have started interrogating my colleague about the issues you raise. Please respond quickly to confirm that you have received my letter. If you happen to find our lamp, please leave both the lamp and the letter at the steps of the mausoleum at around 22:00 (10:00 pm) on 26/10/2022 on the steps of Hannah Courtoy's mausoleum, where one of my agents will come and collect it.

Best regards,

Edward de Saint-Pierre
President of Insulamia

‎

by **East Plate** » Sun Nov 20, 2022 2:58 am

MINISTRY OF TIMELESS AFFAIRS • 78 WADE LANE, MONTEVIDEO, CAPITAL TERRITORY, EAST PLATE • 25 OCTOBER 1876 1876 A.D., 7:05

"Oh hello, Mr. Lewisham. A bit early to be here already, don't you think?" asked Elizabeth Mar, the secretary attending the reception of the Ministry, while putting away the latest print of The Southern Star newspaper that she was reading, trying to hide her displeasure of having to see anyone at the front desk of the ministry so early in the morning.
"A bit," answered Lewisham laughing. "Can I see the Minister, please? I have something important to deliver to him," he continued, visibly happy to finally have some update from the Insulamians to tell to the minister, who had been increasingly impatient to hear from them, especially considering the strange circumstances in which the President had disappeared from the mausoleum while Lewisham tried to send him back to his timeline.
"You certainly look radiant today. I guess you had a good night or something. I fail to understand how someone can be so happy this early in the morning." Elizabeth said, looking at a small notebook where she kept her notes regarding the schedule of the minister. "Well, I am afraid you will have to wait for a bit, he is currently in a meeting. Something about the new mausoleum prototypes built based on the Insulamian lamp."
"Any ideas on how long it will take?"
"Probably not much. An hour maximum. I heard the prototypes were not very successful. They are most likely actually discussing what to do with poor Ivan's wife and children."
"Ivan's... wife and children?" Lewisham asked confused.
"You don't know?" said Elizabeth, realising that perhaps she had spoken too much. "Ivan Bennett, the man who was chosen to test the mausoleums... rumour has it that one of the prototypes actually worked... just not the way it was intended. Apparently, poor Bennett spontaneously combusted right after finishing with the rituals to get the wretched thing working, and all that was left of him was some ashes and bone fragments."
"Oh God, that's horrible." answered Lewisham horrified. What if that had actually happened to the President of Insulamia? he wondered. What if the letter he held in his hands actually was meant to inform the minister of the president's demise?... that would certainly explain the month-long wait to receive a response from them.
"Anyways, don't trouble yourself with it. They are just rumours after all."
"I guess so." Lewisham answered quietly.
"Feel free to take a seat while you wait for the minister... and here, help yourself with a copy of The Southern Star. If you are going to be stuck here with me until he comes, you better discuss the latest news with me. What do you think about this" said Elizabeth, while opening the newspaper on page 3 and reading aloud: "Portrait of Georgina, Duchess of Devonshire by Thomas Gainsborough stolen from..."

MINISTRY OF TIMELESS AFFAIRS • 78 WADE LANE, MONTEVIDEO, CAPITAL TERRITORY, EAST PLATE • 25 OCTOBER 1876 1876 A.D., 8:01

After almost an hour, Theodore Campbell's meeting had finally finished. The minister looked particularly concerned, but he would not say a word about what was bothering him. Thankfully for him, he would not have to think much more about the meeting, as Lewisham immediately jumped from his seat upon spotting the minister.
"I suppose you are here to see me, right?" asked Mr. Campbell looking at the letter Lewisham was holding in his hand. "And that is certainly for me, correct?"
"Indeed. It is from Insulamia. It appeared today at the mausoleum. First one since the president disappeared from the mausoleum. Hopefully, it will contain some answers"
"Well, hand me the letter, let's see what they have to say."
The contents of the letter were better than expected. After a month of complete silence, and after that terrible meeting, Campbell was almost sure that something had happened to the president. To his relief, Edward was just fine, and better yet, in his timeline, although not exactly on the expected time. Although the contents of the letter were not particularly revealing and it looked like the president was as clueless as the whole Ministry was at the strange circumstances that led to his sudden disappearance from the mausoleum, the letter was a total pleasure to read. Not only had East Plate avoided the potential diplomatic catastrophe that killing a foreign president from the future would mean, but it also looked like solving the lamp conundrum was finally within reach, as the president had finally accepted the rather strange and complicated plan made up by the minister to retrieve the lamp by contacting a version of the Ministry from the future.
"It looks like the President is safe," said Campbell to Lewisham, who looked increasingly impatient to know about the contents of the letter. "He seems to have been sent to the 24th of October, in 2022."
"October? Look, I never got to finish the rituals to send him to the future, but as we know, sometimes the mausoleum works just fine with a butchered version of them for some reason. I thought that maybe this was the case, and that somehow it only sent him and not me. But I am certain that I had already set the date, and I am even more certain that I set it to September, not October."
"Well... he is in October, so..."
"I am not lying."
"No one said you were. I just... think you made an honest mistake here."
"But I did not..."
"Look, we both know that sometimes the rituals fail but the mausoleum does not and it works anyways. It is already strange enough that on this particular occasion this seems to have happened to add some strange phenomenon changing the intended date too. You were under enormous quantities of stress for having to take care of a foreign head of state... and a drunken one nonetheless. I do not blame you for getting some numbers wrong."
"I have been working for the Ministry for more than 10 years now, and I have never made a mistake," grumbled Lewisham, slightly annoyed at the fact that the minister was convinced that he had made some kind of error.
"Well, there is always a first time for everything." dismissed the minister.
"But..."
"Enough," interrupted Mr. Campbell. "We already had this conversation before. Can we please move on? I have something else to tell you."

WEST OF LONDON & WESTMINSTER CEMETERY • FULHAM ROAD, KENSINGTON, LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM • 24 OCTOBER 1876 A.D., 15:41

Lewisham was still slightly annoyed at the fact that the strange circumstances regarding the disappearance of the president were mostly dismissed by the ministry as a simple human error, but there was nothing he could do about it. The minister seemed determined and showed no interest in further investigating the event, and had already moved on to giving Lewisham a new task of delivering a response to the Insulamians, the reason for which he was back at the West of London and Westminster Cemetery, ready to place a new envelope over the steps of the mausoleum.

1 Lower Grosvenor Street
Westminster, London
UNITED KINGDOM
78 Wade Lane
Montevideo, Capital Territory
EAST PLATE

24 October 1876

Dear Mr. President;

I have received your note from the 24th of October. I am delighted to know that you are safe and well in the Insulamian Embassy in London. I must confess that I was worried about your well-being after more than a month without receiving any news from you, and even more after Mr. Lewisham told me the strange circumstances in which you left 1876. Even when I did not have the pleasure of meeting you in person, and even when we have had some differences regarding our opinions, I have learned to appreciate you as a very valuable member of the international community, and a person for whom I have deep respect. I would never have forgiven myself if something bad had happened to you under my supervision. I implore you to accept our most humble apologies regarding this whole ordeal.

As you suggested, I have spoken to Mr. Lewisham about the incident, but we have not been able to come to any definitive conclusion as to what exactly happened, and all our theories are purely speculative. I would like to tell you everything we know about this right now, as that may help you remember anything that could help throw some clarity onto this strange event. According to Lewisham, he had already performed half of the needed rituals to get the mausoleum working when he started to feel worried about you perturbing his incantations (please don't be offended by this, surely you would think the same if you had a drunk man behind you). He then heard some clicking sounds coming from behind him, and he immediately turned to see what was happening. At this point, the door of the mausoleum was open, and you were already missing, which I presume means that you had been sent to 2022.

It is my belief that Lewisham actually committed some kind of mistake while operating the mausoleum. Rest assured, he had absolutely no intention to endanger you, and this is most likely the result of an innocent human error with no malice intended. He insists on saying that he is innocent and that no mistake has been committed, but my experience says otherwise. He was under tremendous stress due to the whole situation in which he found himself, and the fact that I ordered you to be drunk during the process certainly did not help the situation. Therefore, I have resolved to turn a blind eye to this situation and not punish him for his mistakes. I hope you agree with my decision.

Moving on to more encouraging topics, I am happy to tell you that I have managed to establish contact with the Ministry of Timeless Affairs from the 21st century. They have actually been really helpful with everything regarding your missing lamp. I explained the situation to them, and they started to search for the lamp. Luckily for us, they believe they will be able to send me the lamp quite soon, as Theodora's house is still standing in the 21st century, although abandoned, so if the lamp just travelled to the year 2000 and not moved in space, it is highly likely that it is still there, as no one would have found it. I am fairly optimistic about this, and I hope we can finally end this convoluted chapter of the East Plate-Insulamia relations.

This might sound strange, as it definitely sounded strange to me when they asked me to inquire you about this, but does the usage or manipulation of your lamp have any possible "side-effects"? In particular, they asked me if it could cause "explosions" or some kind of "spontaneous combustion." I certainly have no idea why they are asking me this, or why are they being so specific with their question, but they claim it is part of some kind of safety protocol the ministry has to protect their employees. I can assure you that no protocol like that currently exists in the ministry, so I can't offer you much more information about it, but they insisted they needed to know that. They also wanted me to tell them if there were any ways to prevent said "side-effects" if they exist.

That is all for now. I will write to you again as soon as I get any information regarding your lamp. Please keep me updated on everything related to Theodora Parlow as soon as you know.

Yours Sincerely;

Theodore Campbell

WEST OF LONDON & WESTMINSTER CEMETERY • FULHAM ROAD, KENSINGTON, LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM • 26 OCTOBER 1876 A.D., 10:05

Once again, Lewisham was ordered by Mr. Campbell to deliver an envelope to Courtoy's mausoleum. However, this time it was not only an envelope, but also a rather big wooden box containing the infamous Insulamian time-travelling lamp. The object had been sitting at the Ministry of Timeless Affairs' workshops for a long time, and hundreds of experiments had been conducted on it, obtaining little to no relevant information about how it worked. A few blueprints for the construction of some mausoleums had been designed based on some concepts extracted from the lamp, but the whole project was put on halt after one of them turned out to be a rather efficient incinerator instead of a time machine, with the most mischievous members of the Ministry giving it the nickname of "LeMoyne's Mausoleum," in honour of the American doctor Francis Julius LeMoyne.

The Ministry's little experiments with Insulamia's lamp had mostly come to an end with not a lot of success, but the plan to retrieve the lamp without causing a major diplomatic incident was still looking promising, and quite frankly, Lewisham couldn't be happier about it. Finally, he could forget about the president of Insulamia and go back to his "normal" life as a simple member of the Ministry working from London. He wasted no second and he quickly entered the cemetery and walked along the paths to the mausoleum, where he carefully left the box next to the envelope that the minister had commissioned him to deliver.

1 Lower Grosvenor Street
Westminster, London
UNITED KINGDOM
78 Wade Lane
Montevideo, Capital Territory
EAST PLATE

26 October 1876

Dear Mr. President;

I have the most wonderful and exciting news from our colleagues from the 21st century! Today, early in the morning, I received a telegram from the Minister of Timeless Affairs from the year 2000 where he told me that they had located your lamp, and that it was being delivered to us. Hopefully, if everything went according to plan, you have received this letter together with a wooden box with your lamp inside it. I must confess that I peeked a bit inside the box, just to check that everything was in order and that we had indeed received the correct object. The thing delivered to us seems to match the description that you gave about your lamp, so I think we actually got it.

Apparently, the lamp was found just where they expected it to be, inside Theodora's home, untouched and undiscovered by any strangers. The retrieving operation was fairly easy, as no one was around the house when our partners arrived with their carriages, so they were undetected and able to break in without attracting anyone's attention.

Please let me know that you have received this message as soon as you read it, and confirm that the lamp has made its way to you.

Yours Sincerely;

Theodore Campbell

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Mark ⌵
William Roberts <s21738@ctr.gov.ia>
Today, 28 October 2022, at 15:21
To Laura Tran <min@ctr.gov.ia>
CC Laura Tran <laura.tran@gov.ia>; Edward de Saint-Pierre <president@gov.ia>; Finn Lawson <s37046@ctr.gov.ia>; Abigail Calladine <s93828@ctr.gov.ia>
Dear Minister,

Please forgive me for my late reply, I have been a bit distracted recently now that I have received my Insulamian identity documents. It feels very good to be able to walk the streets feeling that I am no longer an illegal undocumented immigrant from a country that does not even exist in your timeline.

Anyways, I do not want to distract you from your work, which I imagine is keeping you very busy, so I will go straight to the point. As you probably have already figured out by our previous correspondence this last month, East Plate is a very diverse country linguistically speaking as a result of our past under Spanish, Portuguese and English influence. As an Englishman myself, I am more familiar with the English dialects spoken in our country, but thankfully for us, Mr Lawson has ample knowledge about the Latin side of East Plate. I must admit that I was even impressed by the fact that he seems to be able to speak Portuñol, a rather obscure Portuguese dialect spoken by mostly illiterate people near the border with the Empire of Brazil. I am sure Mr Rubio would find Mr Lawson to be a very interesting fellow. Maybe you could extend him an invitation to come to our house for dinner soon so they can meet?

The first thing you need to know to begin understanding how languages work in East Plate is our geography. East Plate is (was?) a medium-sized nation, bigger than most of the European nations that exist in this timeline. The colony is separated from Spanish-speaking Argentina by the Uruguay River and the River Plate, while there is no division at all between it and the Empire of Brazil, being perfectly possible (and fairly easy) to cross the frontiers between the two just by walking. In addition, you can say that East Plate is divided into two similarly sized halves by the Blackwater River, a northern one, composed of the North Blackwater Territory and the Province of Arlesey, and a southern one, composed of the rest of the provinces that form the colony.

When the Spanish colonised East Plate, the colony had a very small population, mostly located in the south, around the cities of Montevideo and Colonia del Sacramento (Port Lewis), and other small settlements around the Uruguay River and Blackwater River, as those where the most accessible areas, and the places from where commercial activity was conducted. However, the Spanish also did a fairly good job at expanding across the other territories of the colony, with the Spanish language becoming dominant pretty much everywhere. When the British arrived, a similar thing occurred. Most English-speaking settlers came to the most accessible southern areas, while the north remained mostly untouched, as the Blackwater River prevented easy and fast connections between Montevideo and the northern territories, making them not very attractive for commercial ventures. In addition, the difficulty to reach the north also meant that anglo settlers were under constant attack by the Gauchos, who remained disloyal to the British Crown after the takeover, and still remained unfriendly towards the British when I left East Plate to come here to Insulamia.

Initially, the Hispanics and Anglos who lived in the south tried to remain separate, but like everything human, it was just a matter of time before both groups started to mingle with each other, and soon, men started to marry English women and vice versa, and mixed families started to be formed. In addition, cities like Montevideo were filled with new rich English merchants (who actually were merely middle class, but that within the context of an impoverished ex-Spanish colony, were as good as royalty) and people started to look up to them as some sort of role-model which had to be followed to achieve success... Naturally, those rich English merchants spoke English, and as a result, English quickly established itself as the language of prestige in the south. Meanwhile, the north remained isolated and as Spanish as ever. While the south became multicultural and moved towards becoming anglicised, the north became resilient and attracted people (like the Gauchos) who despised everything related to the English.

To sum it up, you basically have a colony where English predominates in the south, progressively becoming more and more Spanish as you move towards the north. However, due to East Plate's lack of natural borders with Brazil, you also have a third language to consider: Portuguese. As you move closer to the border with Brazil, you will start to hear some Portuguese words mixed with English, and especially with Spanish. Nonetheless, Portuguese is brought to the colony not by rich people like the English, but by the complete opposite: freed slaves, poor families, Vaqueiros (something like the Brazilian equivalent of a Guacho), and smugglers. While English became the language of prestige, Portuguese became the language of the undesirable and uneducated.

It is impossible to talk about an "Eastplatine dialect" as there would be millions of them. Each Eastplatine town has its own unique combination of the three languages depending on where it is located on the map, and differences can even be found between different families in the same town. It all depends on the unique way in which a certain community has been influenced and how it has interacted with the different groups of people who have made East Plate their home. However, if we really want to try to divide East Plate in defined dialects, we could use the following map:

The areas in red (and pink) are those where you would find a combination of the three languages which results in something that you would undoubtedly recognise as an English dialect ("Eastplatine English"), the areas in yellow in something you would recognise as a Spanish dialect ("Eastplatine Spanish") and the areas in green something that you would probably consider as some Portuguese dialect with heavy and easily recognisable Spanish contributions ("Portuñol"). Don't be fooled by the relative sizes of each area: Around 60% of the population lives in the red-coloured area, 35% in the yellow one, and only around 5% in the green zone.

All dialects under the "Eastplatine English" category are characterised by a very strong "r" sound, inherited from Spanish. For example, an Eastplatine would never pronounce "water" like a British would, instead pronouncing it more similar to how the Americans do it, putting even more emphasis on the final r. Eastplatines are also known for being very prominent "H droppers," meaning that they almost never say /h/. So, for example, they pronounce "hill" and "ill" identically. This is also a very common feature in many British dialects, like the one spoken in London, but Eastplatines do not get this way of speaking from them. The phoneme /h/ was lost in Late Latin, the ancestor of the modern Romance languages, meaning that Spanish words never pronounce the letter "h", a feature which was passed to Eastplatine English.

Another very characteristic thing in "Eastplatine English" dialects is giving words which look similar to Spanish words (false cognates) the meaning they have in Spanish, and not the one they traditionally have in English. Some of the most common examples are assist (similar to the Spanish "asistir") meaning "attend," library ("librería") meaning "bookstore," gracious ("gracioso") meaning "funny," and fume ("fumar") meaning "to smoke." All Eastplatine English dialects have this characteristic, but it is incorrect to assume everyone will use these words in the same way. Scholars and very educated people tend to give words their "correct" English meaning, while uneducated people will almost always give them the "wrong" Spanish meaning.

On the other hand, "Eastplatine Spanish" dialects are mostly characterised by a great deal of code-switching (using different languages for different sentences) and code-mixing (using different languages for different words in the same sentence) between Spanish and English. Loan words and anglicisms are also heavily present. To some outsiders who speak either only English or only Spanish, the Spanish spoken in East Plate may sound incomprehensible, as speakers appear to switch languages in mid-sentence, but to people who are bilingual in both languages, it can sound interesting and unique. However, you also have to take into account what I said before: East Plate becomes more Hispanic if you move to the north, and the code-switching and code-mixing start to slowly disappear and "Eastplatine Spanish" becomes just plain old "Spanish."

There are also things common for both Eastplatine English and Eastplatine Spanish. For example, the expression "Che" is one of the most characteristic things an Eastplatine could ever say, a feature that the colony shares with their Argentinian neighbours despite linguistic differences. "Che" is widely used as a way to catch someone's attention (similar to a "hey!") and it is used by both Spanish and English speakers alike. The origins of the word "Che" are actually unclear, with many saying that it originates from Spanish, but many others claiming that it could come from native languages spoken in South America, like Guarani or Araucarian.

Finally, we also have the Portuguese-based dialects, grouped in what we call "Portuñol." As its name suggests, the language is basically a mixture between Spanish and Portuguese, being spoken near the frontiers with Brazil. Some English words have made their way into Portuñol, but they are a minority. The language is mostly characterised by extensive code-mixing, which is actually quite hard to detect due to the similarities between Spanish and Portuguese.

As you can see, explaining the languages of East plate is a very complex topic product of the many cultures that prevail in the colony, and doing a detailed examination and explanation of either of the three main language groups would take centuries. However, I hope my relatively brief explanation has satisfied your curiosity about the topic. Please feel free to forward me any questions you may still have, and I'll do my best to answer them.

Your faithful servant;
William Roberts

by **Insulamia** » Mon Nov 28, 2022 6:53 am

‎

Ⅰ

EMBASSY OF INSULAMIA IN LONDON • 1 LOWER GROSVENOR PLACE, WESTMINSTER, LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM • 24 OCTOBER 2022 A.D., 16:02

PRESIDENT EDWARD DE SAINT-PIERRE is talking to Matthew Blackheath about the events of the 17th of September. By now, the President feels almost certain that Blackheath is not lying, though, just in case his judgement is wrong, he has proposed for Blackheath to come with him back to Insulamia, where people with more expertise on questioning and whatnot can more accurately determine Blackheath's authenticity.
The unmistakeable ringtone of the President's mobile phone starts playing from his pocket. It is a piano arrangement of the Insulamian national anthem.
"Hold on," says the President, "getting a call from Chelsea, here..."
"Very patriotic, that ringtone." Blackheath chuckles.
"Ha, well, it's got a nice melody, aye?"
Blackheath nods in agreement and the President answers the call. "Allo? Chelsea?"
"Hello, yep, uh, the Thomas guy's just left, I've got the letter now and I'm on my way back."
"Perfect, did he say anything to you?"
"No, not much. Had nothing to say, he said."
"Alright, no problem. Well, see you soon, aye?"
"Yep, see you, sir."

Reading through the letter from East Plate that Chelsea Singh handed him, the President notices something off.

This might sound strange, as it definitely sounded strange to me when they asked me to inquire you about this, but does the usage or manipulation of your lamp have any possible "side-effects"? In particular, they asked me if it could cause "explosions" or some kind of "spontaneous combustion." I certainly have no idea why they are asking me this, or why are they being so specific with their question, but they claim it is part of some kind of safety protocol the ministry has to protect their employees. I can assure you that no protocol like that currently exists in the ministry, so I can't offer you much more information about it, but they insisted they needed to know that. They also wanted me to tell them if there were any ways to prevent said "side-effects" if they exist.

It seems strange for the 21st-century Ministry of Timeless Affairs to be asking about the "usage" and "manipulation" of the Glancey, unless...they are using it? No, that couldn't be, they haven't even found it yet. The President is baffled by this request from the Minister. What's more, he remembers, some attempts at replicating the lamp produced rather fiery and explosive results. The fact that the Minister asked solely about explosions and combustion and no other side effects seems even more suspiciously specific to the President, almost like the 21st-century Ministry experimented with the Glancey and got those results. But, again, they couldn't've; they haven't found it yet, have they? Or perhaps they were lying about only starting their search now?
In search of some semblance of closure on this matter, the President dials for Alistair Coorick, head of the researchry into the Glancey. Coorick picks up the phone and the President explains the contents of the letter.
"Right, very interesting..." mutters Coorick. "It's awfully convenient that the 21st-century Ministry was so cooperative, aye? And Theodora's house is still standing after all those years, but conveniently abandoned..."
"What're you trying to say?" snaps the President.
"Well, Mr. President...the thing is...you said they were asking about combustions and explosions, aye?"
"Aye, that."
"And you said that you remembered an experiment that produced those exact results, aye?"
"Aye...what, was there no such experiment?"
"O, no, no, there certainly was, Mr. President. It's just that, there's something very peculiar about the relationship between the factors of that experiment and the contents of your letter..."
"What is that?"
"Well, for most of our attempted replicas of the Glancey, we use modern materials and equipment and the such, aye?"
"Get to the point, Alistair."
"Well...there was a time when we made a replica using technology and techniques from the 19th century, and, guess what? That replica produced the greatest explosion we'd ever seen, far surpassing the few combusting Glancey replicas that—"
"Hold on, why were you using tech and techniques from the 19th century?"
"Well, do you remember when we showed some historians some pictures of the Glancey — with the glowing rods edited out, of course — and we told them it was a historical artefact? Well, they suggested that its design looked to be reminiscent of those from Europe and her colonies in the late 1800s or early 1900s. So we figured why not try building a replica from tools and materials from around that time to see if that works, and, boom—" Coorick chuckles. "—well, quite literally so, no pun intended."
"So, are you telli— wh-what are you trying to say?"
"Well, it's just a hunch, Mr. President, but maybe, just maybe, you should consider that the Eastplatians or whatever may have themselves attempted to create a replica of the Glancey using materials from their time and got the explosive results. Or they may not have. Just a thought, here, Mr. President, from silly little Coorick, might be true, might not be, it's your call; after all, you're the big boss man that heads the state."
The President pauses for a while to ponder, his worrisome thoughts contrasting with Coorick's playful tone. "But...how could the Eastplatines know what the Glancey is like if it's in the year 2000?"
"I mean, they very well could be lying. Perhaps about only just recently receiving the Glancey back from 2000. Hell, perhaps about the whole entire thing; in my view, there's nothing contradictory about them finding the Glancey and just holding onto it, inventing a convoluted backstory to justify their malicious research."
"No, but...the Ministry would never do such a thing...and Theodora Parlow...did she not clearly time travel to our timeline with the Glancey?"
"I mean, there's nothing to suggest that she definitely used the Glancey, like, her story even says that it conveniently disappeared after she arrived."
"Then, if she didn't use the Glancey, what do you suggest she used to get to 1982 or whatever the year was?"
"Maybe that mausoleum in London that the Ministry's so secretive about?"
"Aye, in London. Theodora appeared in Montevideo. She couldn't have travelled to Montevideo from London, especially without being noticed. And besides, Parlow doesn't work for the Ministry, how could she know about the mausoleum?"
"Well...I suppose you're probably right, Mr. President, of course, the evidence is circumstantial at best, and I don't necessarily believe the claims, but, if I were to defend them, well, it's plausible that Parlow is paid by the Ministry and we just don't know, and as for the geographical anomaly, well, maybe the Eastplatines have a time machine in Montevideo too, or maybe some sort of teleportation method..."
"That's just far-fetched, aye?"
"Aye, but it could maybe be a possibility is all I'm saying, especially considering the other strange circumstances that I mentioned. And also, I've just thought of another strange thing: it's awfully convenient that Parlow 'fell' exactly into our timeline, aye? It seems unlikely that she just so happened to arrive in precisely our world instead of the presumably infinite other worlds out there. Perhaps this is evidence of her intentionally going to a specific timeline, maybe with the mausoleum? Or maybe not, I haven't a clue."
"Right, well, I'll consider your thoughts... I suppose it's probably best if we could find Parlow and interrogate her on this, since she probably knows the truth, aye?"
"Aye, I'd support that. Like I said, it's bloody convenient that Parlow arrived in our timeline, not just to maybe or maybe not save the Eastplaters' arses, but for us as well..."

‎

Ⅱ

EASTPLATINE LEGATION TO INSULAMIA • 12 AMBERLEY TERRACE, COLLINDSEY, HENRIA, INSULAMIA • 24 OCTOBER 2022 A.D., 16:09

WILLIAM ROBERTS returns from a scrumptious afternoon tea to see a reply from the Minister has already arrived.

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Mark ⌵
Laura Tran <min@ctr.gov.ia>
Today, 24 October 2022, at 16:01
To William Roberts <s21738@ctr.gov.ia>
CC Laura Tran <laura.tran@gov.ia>; Edward de Saint-Pierre <president@gov.ia>; Finn Lawson <s37046@ctr.gov.ia>; Abigail Calladine <s93828@ctr.gov.ia>
Hi William,

Thanks for your reply. What you say about East Plate's language situation is very interesting, and there are comparisons that can be made with that of Insulamia. Of course, both countries were colonised with two languages, one English and the other a Romance language. I also see some similarities with the Insulamian English accent and the Eastplatine ones, even though you may struggle to comprehend Insulamians speaking! I certainly did when I first arrived from Vietnam when I was little, and even to this day, after almost half a century in this country, I still sometimes cannot understand what some Insulamians say, with not just an abnormal accent but also abnormal grammar and idioms. Anyways, the "r" sound also characterises the Insulamian accent, though not stressed like in East Plate, but rather, lightly trilled. The trilled "r" is also a defining characteristic of the Insulamian French accent as well. As for the dropped "h", this is usually not a feature in Insulamian English, but in Nuran, our bilingual island province, it is very common and even stereotypical.

On the topic of language, I would like to inquire further about the written form of East Plate's English, if it varies at all from British English or other dialects. What I find a little odd is that President Edward de Saint-Pierre told me that Minister Theodore Campbell used some American-like spelling in his letters while you seem to use more British-like spelling in your emails to me. Is this because you are an Englishman, or because you are using the Insulamian English spellchecker, or any other reason? I would also like to know about any unique idioms or any unique jokes used by Eastplatines.

On other notes, I will certainly get to arranging a meeting between Mr. Lawson and Mr. Rubio, thank you for the suggestion, perhaps you could attend too? I have also been discussing with colleagues about organising a trip for you and Mr. Lawson to where East Plate is in our world, the Oriental Republic of Uruguay. Would you see any potential benefits of this? I would love to discuss it further with you and Mr. Lawson.

Kind regards,

Laura Tran/Trần Thị Phương Lan
Minister of Culture
Representative for Alexandria

Federal Government of Insulamia
Ministry of Culture
15 Anderson Square, Rosingburgh, Henria 1003
1200 907 006 | ctr.gov.ia | ctr@gov.ia
The above message reflects the personal views of its author and does not necessarily represents the views of the Federal Government of Insulamia as an entity.
If you have received this message and are not its intended recipient, please notify the Federal Government (unintended.recipient@gov.ia) and destroy the contents of the message immediately.

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Ⅲ

BROMPTON CEMETERY • FULHAM ROAD, R.B. KEN. & CHELSEA, LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM • 26 OCTOBER 2022 A.D., 21:50

CHELSEA SINGH wanders around Brompton Cemetery in search of Hannah Courtoy's mausoleum. The atmosphere is certainly eerie, but she got over her fear of the dead long ago.
She spots the grand stone structure down a narrow pathway and when she reaches it, she is surprised to see a wooden box atop an envelope already sitting at the back of the mausoleum. Raising her watch to the dim light of the crescent moon, Singh recognises that the 19th-century people were at least ten minutes early. Although she appreciates earliness in most cases, she thinks that leaving these valuables before the exact time was a very risky move and left them prone to being stolen. Additionally, she is unable to question the 19th-century man like the President requested. Nevertheless, the items remain on the steps of the mausoleum and so she collects them. She is to bring them to the President's jet at London City Airport, which would be leaving in a couple of hours time.

LONDON CITY AIRPORT • HARTMANN ROAD, NEWHAM, LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM • 26 OCTOBER 2022 A.D., 23:49

PRESIDENT EDWARD DE SAINT-PIERRE boards the Artley & Attwood G750-R after carefully commenting and maneuvering past the several caffeine-fuelled reporters trying to get some answers out of him. Operated by the Insulamian Avy, the twin-engine narrow-body airliner is used for many roles, one of which is transporting high-ranking government officials in exceptional circumstances. And these circumstances, the President thinks, are bloody exceptional, alright.
Over the weekend, he read and reread the Minister's letter, trying to decipher some truth from the confusing paragraphs regarding the (supposed) retrieval of the Glancey from the year 2000. The more he thought, the more pieces in Coorick's wild theory started coming together, and with every inconsistency in the Minister's letter, the President's suspicions of the Eastplatines incrementally grew. But he just could not get over the clear inconsistency of Theodora Parlow magically appearing in Uruguay after time travelling from London. He considered writing a hasty reply simply asking the Minister for clarification, but figured that there may be some risk in that action if Coorick's theory was correct. It would probably be best, he thought, to get a better comprehension of the situation and a better assessment and analysis of the courses of action.
Taking a seat in a private cabin, the President awkwardly hauls the relatively small suitcase onto the table afront him and opens it for the first time. Inside are only two items: a well-crafted polished box made of some dark brown wood, and the usual envelope with thick black lines tracing its edges. Initially, the President feels that the quality of the box seems suspiciously high for something supposedly crafted in, at most, two days, but he dismisses this thought, attributing the confusion to his ignorance of woodworking.
At first, the attached letter from the Minister appears uninteresting, without anything not already known being revealed. It is short and it seems to the President more like a formality than any useful content. But as he is about to fold it up and put it back in its envelope, something catches his eye.

Apparently, the lamp was found just where they expected it to be, inside Theodora's home, untouched and undiscovered by any strangers. The retrieving operation was fairly easy, as no one was around the house when our partners arrived with their carriages, so they were undetected and able to break in without attracting anyone's attention.

Carriages? the President thinks. They wouldn't use carriages in 2000, would they? O, but it is an alternate world after all; perhaps the Brits annexing Uruguay somehow butterflied into the use of the carriage — or at least the term "carriage" — in the 21st century... Just before dismissing this thought as another unjustified paranoia based on ignorance, the President reconsiders and stumbles upon a confusing thought. Hold on, how would the Minister know that the 21st-century folk used carriages to arrive at the Parlow house? I don't suppose they would tell him, especially considering they don't want to reveal any future information to people of the past. And it's not like the 19th-century folk would observe that themselves since they don't want to go to the future. How could this be? And more importantly, what does this mean?
Unable to reach a satisfying conclusion, the President folds the letter up and puts it back in the envelope. It will be something to think about once he gets some more rest. For the moment, he unlocks and opens the hinged lid of the wooden box that the letter spoke of. Sure enough, the unmistakeable glowing rods of the Glancey shined right back at him. Carefully extracting it from the box, the President inspects the Glancey. Everything looks to be in order to him; if this were to be a replica, it was a bloody good one. He pulls out his phone and opens the camera, taking a picture to send to Alistair Coorick.

23:59:28 · 26 Oct 2022

5G · ████ 75%

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◀ Rendre

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Options ⋮

Alistair Coorick
(labo du Glancey)

Here is q picture of the Glqncey I got from the Eqstplqtines

Sorry, muscle memory from the French keyboard, I am fatigued

I have boarded the Attwood, I am in London, onroute to Cabot in a few hours

Alistair

Did you touch the Glancey?

Toi

Yes why do you ask?

Alistair

Nevermind I was going to see if we could do some DNA or fingerprint testing to figure out if the Eastplatines handled it but it's not like we have a database of alternate universe 19th century people in Uruguay

Toi

Ayr

Aye I mean

Alistair

Anyways from what I see in the image that does look to be the real Glancey

We will still test it when you return to Insulamia

Try not to disturb it too much not just for the quality of testing but also theres a chance it could be a fake and it may explode so be careful aye

Toi

Aye

Alistair

Try get some rest now Mr President, I have nothing more to say until you arrive on the ground in Insulamia

Toi

Thank you Alistair

Bonne nuit

Alistair

Bonne nuit M Presidente

*President

+

Texter Alistair Coorick...

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EMBASSY OF INSULAMIA IN MONTEVIDEO • GALICIA 1252, MONTEVIDEO, URUGUAY • 29 OCTOBER 2022 A.D., 20:28

PERRY FISHERMÈS receives the document from the President to be delivered to the 19th century. The whole situation with the time travel and the multiple universes and the government secrecy still seems as surreal to him as it did when it was first introduced to him only a few weeks ago, when his colleague, Robert Larrison, was hospitalised due to an incident involving these time travelling shenanigans. Luckily, Larrison has recovered, but he has since retired from working at the Montevideo embassy and has received great amounts of compensation from the Federal Government.
With the "Glancey lamp" resting on the table beside him, and an uneasy feeling rising in his gut, Fishermès clicks the mouse and the printer starts whirring to life.

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FROM THE DESK OF THE PRESIDENT
1 Road of the Republic, Cabot

29 October 1876
78 Wade Lane
Montevideo, Capital Territory
EAST PLATE

29 October 2022

Dear Minister,

I have received your dispatches from the 24th and 26th of October and I apologise for the late reply. It is due to the delay of transporting our lamp to Montevideo. I considered advising my messenger to send it to you on an earlier date, but, seeing as we have been blessed with timelines that line up exactly on the same day of the year, I figured it would be quite confusing to mess with that. I said in a previous letter to you that time travel has its beauties, but now I see it also has its fair share of problems; it is difficult for a human mind to understand the complex workings of time, especially when its expected linear path is diverted. Therefore, I ask that you send all your future messages to us exactly 146 years into the future, no more and no less, to ensure a comprehendible progression of time for the both of us. Of course, this shall be only a guideline; if there are emergency circumstances that require you to send messages to a different time, then this guideline should be broken.

Moving on to less trivial matters, I can confirm that I have received the lamp and it is in perfect working order. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter, it looks like a resolution to this trouble may finally be on the horizon. About your question on "side effects" of usage of the lamp, I would prefer not to answer that and I apologise for any inconveniences that that may cause. Of course, you and I are both perfectly aware that we both want to keep our methods of time travel and dimension travel, at least to some extent, secretive, and I believe this inquiry from the 21st-century Ministry is taking it a little too far. I am sure the 21st-century Ministry will also understand this.

Now, I am in no way suspicious of you and your ministry's operations, but there are some things within your last few communications that have appeared, at least to me, to be slight inconsistencies. May you please help me resolve some of these confusions? Firstly, regarding the 21st-century Ministry's questions. It seemed to me, by the phrasing of your question, that they were asking about the "usage" and "manipulation" of the lamp. It seems a little odd to me to be asking about this if they were not to be using or manipulating the lamp. Additionally, their question very specifically asked about "explosions" and "spontaneous combustion". Now, I stress again here that I am not at all questioning your ministry, but the head of our research team into the lamp pointed out a strange correlation. In our experiments trying to replicate the lamp, we have mostly stuck to 21st-century materials, tools, and techniques. However, after a historian's analysis that the lamp looked to be from the late 1800s to early 1900s, we tried to create some lamps using materials, tools, and techniques from that time. It was these lamps and these lamps only that produced explosive and combustive results. It appears, then, almost as if the 21st-century Ministry found the lamp before vou advised them to, tried to make a replica of it using 19th-century techniques, and then got explosive results. This is incredibly strange to me, so, if you may, I would like you to question the 21st-century Ministry on this.

On the situation regarding Theodora Parlow, it is marvellous that we have our lamp back now, because many of the difficulties in this task have just evaporated. We no longer need to use Hannah Courtoy's mausoleum to time travel, and the issue of getting travel documents is gone because we can simply time travel from Montevideo. We are ready to conduct this mission, but, just to make sure, please reply with a confirmation for this to go ahead.

Professional interrogators (with 21st-century interrogation devices) and myself have had a chance to interrogate my colleague from London whom you suspect fabricated a story of time travelling in Hannah Courtoy's mausoleum without doing any rituals. These interrogations have concluded pretty adamantly that my colleague was not lying and these events did indeed occur. I am not sure of the implications this has for your ministry; perhaps vou could more rigorously test doing nothing at all in the mausoleum? Nevertheless, I will no longer be dispatching this colleague to handle time-travel-related affairs out of respect for your ministry, and I hope that with our lamp safely returned, we no longer have to use your mausoleum again.

I forgot to inform you in my previous letter of an update on the situation of Robert Larrison, the messenger who lost our lamp. Since September, he has recovered from severe laudanum poisoning, however, he has made the decision to retire from his post at the Insulamian Embassy in Montevideo. In his place, delivering you messages such as this one, will be another worker at the embassy named Perry Fishermès. If, for any reason, you require a physical description of Fishermès, he is a white male aged 27 years with brown hair.

That is all from me now. I hope to hear back from you soon.

Best regards,

Edward de Saint-Pierre
President of Insulamia

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by **East Plate** » Wed Dec 07, 2022 5:16 am

GROVE HALL THEATRE • 26 ALBERT ROAD, MONTEVIDEO, CAPITAL TERRITORY, EAST PLATE • 30 OCTOBER 1876 A.D., 18:22

October evenings were pretty dull at the Grove Hall Theatre. Once one of the most luxurious and big theatres in Montevideo, the theatre was now just a sad memory of its marvellous past, seriously suffering from the fierce competition posed by the new music hall that had opened right in front of it a few years ago. Despite being much smaller and by far much less grandiose, the music hall had no problems at successfully attracting hundreds of customers with its happy tunes and its apparently never-ending supply of alcohol, while the old theatre struggled to attract the Eastplatines with its classy, and sometimes boring plays.

Nevertheless, Theodore Campbell was happily seated in the half-empty theatre, closely watching "Nephercheres' Curse," a comedic play written by a mostly unknown local author telling the story of some poor boy that had accidentally unleashed an old Egyptian curse by disturbing a forgotten tomb that sent him back in time to 1453 and the fall of Constantinople. An alleged Egyptian curse, a tomb, and time travelling capabilities, all in one same play, were bound to draw the Ministry's attention, and it didn't take much time for some of its collaborators to be sure that something out of the ordinary was going on with the play, meaning that Theodore himself was summoned to check if anything had to be done.

Campbell was frankly enjoying the play when Gabriel Dwyer suddenly appeared in the theatre carrying an envelope with him, accidentally shutting the door to the chamber a bit too harshly, causing a loud bang that was heard by every soul in the theatre, and making everyone, including the minister, to turn towards the door to see what has going on.

The minister read through the letter completely ignoring the ongoing play, which, despite being entertaining, had no real importance for the Ministry after all. At first, nothing too out of the strange seemed to be contained in the letter, other than the President refusing to elaborate on the questions "made by the 21st century Ministry of Timeless Affairs" regarding the explosive results of the Ministry's failed attempt at making a mausoleum using the lamp as its basis. Theodore had already anticipated that a refusal was going to probably be the answer from Insulamia, but he thought that it was worth the effort to try to squeeze some information out of the President by asking anyways, which he actually apparently managed to do, as the Insulamians revealed that they themselves had conducted some sort of experiments over the lamp, achieving similar results to the ones achieved by the Ministry.

Much like Theodore, Dwyer did not find anything too interesting about the letter at first glance, although the request of the Insulamians to send any future letters exactly 146 years into the future seemed strange to him. What do they even mean by that? The Ministry always sends the letters exactly 146 years into the future... It is not like we are sending the letters to different times to manipulate when they receive them... he thought. It was not until the final act of the play, when the main character travelled to Egypt to free himself from the curse, that everything became clear for Dwyer. Travel times! It takes time to travel from Montevideo to London to deliver the letters!.

BROMPTON CEMETERY • FULHAM ROAD, R.B. KEN. & CHELSEA, LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM • 22 NOVEMBER 2022 A.D., 7:16

Gabriel Dwyer still felt like a complete genius after his discovery, even after almost a month had passed. He was quite sure that he had impressed the minister with his deduction, and that he surely was to be rewarded soon. Maybe that was the reason why he accepted delivering the letter to the Insulamians himself, something that he would normally refuse to do by appointing some other lower-ranking member of the ministry to do it on his behalf, especially considering the simplicity of the mission and his irrational hatred for London. Just the idea of having to travel to the city, even if it was only for a few minutes, would normally make him sick, but this time, he was as happy as a little child with a new toy.

1 Lower Grosvenor Street
Westminster, London
UNITED KINGDOM
78 Wade Lane
Montevideo, Capital Territory
EAST PLATE

30 October 1876

Dear Mr. President;

I have received your correspondence from the 29th of October. I am pleased to know that your lamp has safely returned to your rightful hands after all this time. Please rest assured that, despite any possible disagreements that we could have had during the course of the operations to retrieve your lamp, it has been a complete pleasure for the Ministry of Timeless Affairs to be part of such procedures and to provide you with all the help you needed. If, God forbid, something similar were to happen again, be sure that our Ministry will be ready to aid you once more.

As you probably noticed by the time you received this note, we are now sending all letters intended for Insulamia exactly 146 years into the future, as per your previous request. Please keep in mind that this implies that all our letters and notes sent to you will be delayed by around two to four weeks. This happens because I am located in Montevideo, while Hannah Courtoy's mausoleum is in Brompton Cemetery in London. The Ministry normally sends all its non-urgent correspondence to the British Isles using the service provided by the Royal Mail Steam Packet Company, which has a fleet of around 10 steamships for the purpose of carrying all Her Majesty's mail from East Plate to the United Kingdom and vice-versa. They typically set sail from Montevideo to Liverpool once or twice per week, while the voyage itself lasts for a minimum of at least two full weeks, considering optimal weather conditions. Once in Liverpool, our correspondence needs to be unloaded from the ship, sorted and classified by the local post office before being sent to London, a process that typically takes an additional day or two. Thankfully, after that is done, our letters typically arrive in London in a few hours, as they are sent by train and letters from the Ministry are always loaded in the first departing train for London because they are from a government within the British Empire and we have preference over any other letter sent by commoners.

This has always been happening. It is not something new for us. However, we typically "cheat" time by setting the mausoleum to send our letters to you 146 years into the future, minus the number of days it took us to get the letter to the mausoleum. So, for example, if we sent a letter on December 1, 1876, and the letter reached London on December 25, we would still send the letter to December 1, 2022 (instead of December 25, 2022), so you would receive it the "same day" we actually sent it in order to make our communications more fluent and efficient. Hopefully not being able to perform this will not be detrimental to our communications.

Moving on to the other topics mentioned in your letter, I will now address your questions regarding the inquiries made by the 21st-century Ministry of Timeless Affairs. I have no knowledge of the future Ministry performing any type of experiments or handling your lamp more than strictly necessary to send it back to us. I have sent them a letter asking for clarification as you requested, but their answer spoke only about some "safety regulations" imposed on them by the future government of East Plate after previous incidents with some other time-travelling devices encountered in the past. I can assure you that the "past" they are referring to in these letters is not "my" past, as we use no other time-travelling device other than Hannah's mausoleum, and we have had no safety concerns while using it. They have actually sent me a copy of the form they have to submit to the 21st-century Eastplatine government every time they are around a "potential unrecognised time-travelling device" which included many questions, ranging from the potential estimated risks of actually using the device, to the estimated risks of simply touching it.

Having said that, I must confess that I do find it rather suspicious that they have casually asked about "explosions" and "spontaneous combustions" now that you have told me that you have encountered those same issues while trying to create a replica of the lamp. As I hope you will understand, my hands are tied on this matter. I can't do much more than ask them (and rest assured that I did ask them, and I will keep asking if you desire me to do so), but, realistically, they could be lying to me and I would have no way of knowing. Even when I represent a past version of their own Ministry, chances are they do not trust me enough to tell me such a delicate piece of information if they did actually try to do anything with your lamp, as they probably (correctly) think I would tell you about it. As I said before, they have denied any attempt at replicating your lamp, or even using it, but I would take their answer with a grain of salt.

Moving on to Theodora Parlow, you have my blessing to start the mission to bring her back to safety. I would, however, like to know what you plan to do with her once she is under Insulamian custody. As you know, East Plate is no longer able to host her, as she probably knows too much about the future to be around here without causing major problems. It is the desire of the Ministry of Timeless Affairs for her to remain in your timeline, and incorporate her into the diplomatic and cultural legation that our nation has in Insulamia. However, she does not work for the Ministry yet, which means that she would have to accept our invitation first, and there is always the chance she refuses to do so. If I may ask, what is your plan if she refuses to collaborate with us? Please contact me as soon as you have any new information about Theodora.

On a final note, I want to thank you for telling us about your findings about your colleague from London. I am not entirely sure what those "21st-century interrogation devices" are or if they are reliable or not, but considering they seem to be reliable enough for you to dismiss any possible wrongdoings on his behalf, I will not doubt the results of your investigation. I have ordered the technicians of the Ministry to start a full investigation into the rituals needed to get the mausoleum working, but I am confident that the results of the said investigation will once again confirm that they are necessary for it to work. I'll be not giving you further updates on this topic for obvious reasons, but please, do not think that your concerns are being dismissed without careful consideration. We are just protecting our time-travelling techniques.

Yours Sincerely;

Theodore Campbell

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William Roberts <s21738@ctr.gov.ia>
Today, 31 October 2022, at 16:52
To Laura Tran <min@ctr.gov.ia>
CC Laura Tran <laura.tran@gov.ia>; Edward de Saint-Pierre <president@gov.ia>; Finn Lawson <s37046@ctr.gov.ia>; Abigail Calladine <s93828@ctr.gov.ia>
Dear Minister,

Hello Laura,

It makes me very happy to learn that you find East Plate's linguistic situation interesting. I am always pleased to teach people about my lovely homeland, even when it did not seem to exist in your timeline. I did notice some of the similarities between Insulamian and Eastplatine English that you mentioned, although I had no idea about Newmere's stereotypical accent. I guess I should try to get some free time to visit some more places around your beautiful country.

As for your questions regarding the differences between how I spell words and how the Minister does, I am afraid I do not have a concise answer to give you. First of all, I actually have never seen how the Minister writes, as most communications between me and the Ministry have been with other members of the Ministry. He is a rather reserved man, and typically only really speaks with other high-ranking members within the Ministry or people that for some reason have been close to him for a long time, like that guy that "abducted" me during my first encounter with the Ministry of Timeless Affairs that I told you about in one of our first emails when you asked me to tell you about myself. However, what I do know is that he has been in contact with so many people from so many different times and cultures that it is said that his writing tends to be a bit chaotic. Apparently, he tries to use some sort of "neutral" English that is more or less recognised by everyone, adjusting his spelling and the words he uses according to the time and culture of the person he is speaking to, as well as avoiding Eastplatine words and expressions like if they were the plague. I would suggest not using him as some sort of reference to know how the Eastplatines really speak or write, as it could lead to some wrong assumptions.

Written Eastplatine English is more or less similar to standard British English. I'd say that if for any reason you find yourself needing to write to an Eastplatine and you don't know how to spell a word, go with British spelling. Chances are that you will be correct and using the most widely accepted spelling of the word. There are some particular differences, mostly coming from the interaction between English and Spanish, but they are very minor. In my opinion, the most defining thing of written Eastplatine English is the usage of symbols like "¿" and "¡" at the beginning of questions and exclamation sentences. As you can imagine, this comes directly from the Spanish language, but much like in Spanish, its usage is mostly restricted to formal written Eastplatine English. You will never find an Eastplatine writing a letter to a friend or family member using those symbols, but you will see them in official documents, books, signs, or letters sent to people who they do not fully know.

As for the jokes... Well, I'm afraid to tell you that Eastplatines are not the funniest people around, so we do not have a lot of unique jokes to offer. Most of the few "original" Eastplatine jokes are used to mock Argentinians, Spaniards and Brazilians, not being really funny for foreigners... and considering your modern standards, I also think you would find them to be quite racist and xenophobic, so I will spare you the horror of having to read some of our jokes. In contrast, we do have a lot of different idioms that are very unique to East Plate, although many are simple translations or adaptations from Spanish ones. I'll give you a few examples:

"Salty": This is probably one of the most complex Eastplatine idioms, and I would advise foreigners to never try to use it, as it is very hard to master, and using it in the wrong context can be very embarrassing. It is a truly "multi-use" word that can mean a lot of different things, including, but not limited to: difficult, amazing, enormous, horrible and busy. Curiously, and despite the world meaning literally almost anything, it is never used in the same way other English-speaking countries use it nowadays. Some examples: "the play was salty!" (the play was amazing), "learning to ride a horse is salty!" (learning to ride a horse is difficult), "death is salty" (death is horrible), "Insulamia is a salty country" (Insulamia is a cool country), "I had a salty day" (I had a busy day).
"Turnip": Turnip is meant as a light-hearted pseudo-insult that implies stupidity. It is rarely used to actually try to offend people, and is very common while speaking to children. For example: "Are you a turnip? I know you are not doing your homework, your book is upside down!"
"To pull someone's hair": Eastplatine version of the English idiom "to pull someone's leg." It comes from the Spanish "Tomar el pelo" (literal: "to take someone's hair")
"To be like a goat": It is used when someone is doing something bizarre or out of the ordinary. It is a literal translation of the Spanish "Estar como una cabra." For example "I think you drank too much, you are like a goat!"
"To be healthier than a pear": It is the equivalent of "to be as fit as a fiddle." For example: "My mother is healthier than a pear."
"Cisplatine exit": It is East Plate's version of a "French exit," meaning to leave a party or social event without saying goodbye. Its origins are unclear, but some people believe it has something to do with the fact that the Cisplatine Province "left" the Brazilians to try to join the United Provinces, causing the Cisplatine war and the eventual creation of East Plate. For example: "You pulled a Cisplatine exit on us at the ball last night."
"Butter Upon Bacon": Not really an Eastplatine idiom per se, but simply a rather old-fashioned one that seems to have fallen out of grace in your timeline. It is used to signal excessive extravagance. For example: "Are you really going to wear that dress to church? Isn't that rather butter upon bacon?"
"Not up to Dick": Also an old-fashioned idiom rather than an Eastplatine one. It simply means "to not feel well." A similar idiom, "get the morbs", also means not feeling very well, mostly because of depression.
"Chuckaboo": I'm not really sure if this is actually an idiom, but I find this little word to be one of my favourites. It means "friend," and quite frankly, I think you should all start using it again.

There are hundreds of idioms that I could tell you, but those are the ones that first came to my mind after reading your question. I hope I have satisfied your curiosity, at least for now, but if you are interested in learning some extra ones, I'll be very happy to tell you more in the future.

Oh! I almost forgot! I think it would be a fantastic idea to arrange for a visit to the Oriental Republic of Uruguay. I think that it could be very interesting to see how your timeline evolved without East Plate, and see how much the place changed through the years. Who knows? Maybe we can even get to know a little a bit about how different timelines interact with each other by seeing if anything from my timeline somehow ended up also appearing in this so-called "Oriental Republic."

I hope to hear from you again soon;
Your faithful servant;
William Roberts

Ministry of Timeless Affairs of East Plate [Open to All]

Ministry of Timeless Affairs of East Plate [Open to All]

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