I Need Feedback For My Constitution

[Prosperon]

So I've written a constitution for my nation to help add to the story and to give myself something productive to do. I had to look around and I tried to do what all of the forums said, but they ware all so different in the advice they gave. I eventually finished with with the below constitution.

I'm posting it so that I can get feedback. I would love comments, ideas, questions, flaws that you've detected, really any CONSTRUCTIVE feedback. Anyways, thank in advance for reading and here is the constitution:

The Constitution of Prosperon

[Free China]

Seeing the Article III of the Constitution, I would recommend extending the age limit... of certain age...

Shown that under Article III:

The Head Chair will come into power through a nationwide election. The head chair must be over 20 years of age... and they must have stayed in the Sanctuary at Wesley for a duration of five consecutive years. They will serve terms of six years, after which another election will take place.

The given terms of six years seem reasonable to me rather than short amount of time accordingly.

[Prosperon]

Seeing the Article III of the Constitution, I would recommend extending the age limit... of certain age...

Shown that under Article III:

The Head Chair will come into power through a nationwide election. The head chair must be over 20 years of age... and they must have stayed in the Sanctuary at Wesley for a duration of five consecutive years. They will serve terms of six years, after which another election will take place.

Good Idea, I had forgotten about the five years thing. I'll change the constitution accordingly. I'd say that 35 years would be better. Thanks for the feedback!

[Eothasia]

The Ruling Council will impose it’s authority through Mandates.

The correct spelling is ‘its’.

Before a Mandate is passed a Commission must be made.

Here, in terms of grammar, I’d add a comma before ‘a commission must be made’. Also, given that you refer to these as ‘committees’ in future points, I’d suggest you also change this so that the reference to these organisms is homogeneous.

A Committee will be a research group headed by a Commissioner to analyze a problem before presenting their conclusion to the ruling council. The Commissioner will be chosen by the ruling council and may be any Prosperan citizen with experience in the subject. The Commissioner will appoint the rest of the Committee and will direct its efforts. Once adequate research has been made the Committee will present their completed Commission to the Ruling Council for evaluation.

Well, firstly, I wanna say that it appears to me that the Ruling Council is your equivalent of a cabinet in other countries. That being said, it might be beneficial to explain what kinds of subjects the ‘committees’ will be competent to research and why these organisms exist outside of the individual ministries themselves, but still forming a part of Government (and not, say, Parliament). If you don’t want to limit these, then may I just suggest you make it so that these committees are subordinate to Parliament instead of the Ruling Council?

Majority support is gained when the majority of Chairs vote for a Mandate. The Head Chair may undermine a Mandate unless it has over 90% approval from the rest of the Ruling Council.

Personally, I think this is quite a bit of power. 90% is a very high percentage. It would probably be best if you specified that the mandate will be considered passed if it obtains ‘simple majority’ (more ‘ayes’ than ‘nays’) in the Ruling Council, and can be overridden by the Head Chair unless the mandate is validated by ‘absolute majority’ (50% plus one of the chairs voting ‘aye’). The same occurs with Article 3.6.

Article 2 (The Tribunal)

I’m not quite set on which branch of State the Tribunal is. Initially, given the name, I imagined it would be the judicial branch, but this doesn’t seem to be the case. It’s not quite clear where the powers of the Tribunal end, as it doesn’t specify what ‘too dangerous’ implies (if you were to say that the Tribunal would be organised in a future law, that would drop some weight off your shoulders), it gives the Tribunal access to all classified communications of the Government which essentially makes it an arbiter of the Government with no other power arbitering it, and —like I said before— I’m not sure which power it occupies. Are you breaking from the traditional separation of powers?

Article 3 (The Chamber & Regional Governments)

I get the feeling you were going for a legislative branch here, but limited its powers greatly by allowing to only legislate over ‘minor issues’. You’ve also made it very large, potentially; it all depends on your size, of course, but a country like Spain has over eight thousand municipalities. It’s better to establish constituencies into which the country is divided and organise the elections in that manner.

The People's Republic of Prosperon will adhere to all of the rights set out here. No governing body in the nation may ignore these rights:
The right to equality.
The right to life.
The right to
Freedom from slavery.
Freedom from torture.
The right to not be unfairly detained.
The right to trial.
The right to privacy.
Freedom of movement.
The right to personal possessions.
Freedom of thought.
Freedom of expression.
The right to public assembly.
The right to democracy.
The right to shelter.
The right to food & water.
The right to social security.
The right to education.
Freedom of religion.

You’re missing a point in ‘c’.

Every Prosperan citizen has certain responsibilities. These include:

Being courteous and patient with all, and being accepting of different views.
Taking the utmost care when researching issues, so that the best conclusion can be happened upon. This also entails that a citizen must be willing to change their viewpoint when new evidence is presented and to always keep an open mind.
To participate in government and politics.
To personally uphold the rights.
To recognize when their nation needs them and rise to the occasion.
To act in the best interests of Prosperon as a whole whenever possible.

These responsibilities are to be the shining model of a perfect Prosperan. Citizens are to uphold this ideal and strive for it, but must also accept that perfection is impossible.

These are extremely difficult civilian obligations to uphold. Most notably ‘Being courteous and patient with all, and being accepting of different views’; this implies that people cannot have a bad day or have a short fuse as a custom ever, and is quite difficult to truly maintain. The alternative is allowing people to call each other ‘unconstitutional’ over petty arguments. I wouldn’t include this as one of the obligations for citizens. And yes, I understand that you say at the end that ‘perfection is impossible’, but the mere fact that this is included in the constitution to create the model of a ‘perfect Prosperan’ can cause discrimination down the line.

Article 7 (The Responsibilities Of The Government)

Each of the three branches of the State —Executive, Judicial and Legislative— should have their own article detailing their structure, functions, and obligations to the people and State.

Prosperan folk songwriter Dob Bylan

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It’s a fairly good initial structure, and I like that you’re going ahead with the creation of your own constitution, which isn’t a particularly easy task. My commendations for it. If I could make a couple of suggestions, they would be the following:

1. Have a different article for each governing body, their functions, their obligations, etc. It makes it simpler to identify where each individual body goes, what their functions and responsibilities are (which are not all simply ‘protect the nation’; they each have to do that always, but each do it in very specific and different ways).
2. Given the communist nature of your country (or, at least, I infer this from the flag), I would definitely suggest having an article regarding the economic structure of your country so that you can organise yourself properly. Explain that private property is restricted, that the modes of production are in the hands of the proletariat, that personal property is permitted, the kinds of companies (cooperatives, for instance) that are allowed, etc.
3. I would give an article to talk about the internal territorial structure of the country, because this is a very important topic and is subject to changes willy-nilly in the future if there isn’t a solid base that structures how those changes are made, what the generalised structure of the country is, etc.
4. I would suggest having a copy of a real constitution next to you to draw inspiration from. As much as I disagree with (most of) the content, the Spanish Constitution of 1978 is surprisingly well organised and can be useful for you to see how you can structure your own constitution.

I hope I’ve been of help! Good luck!

[Wizlandia]

Just a few thoughts.

The Tribunal appears to be by far the most powerful branch of Prosperon, not only do they hold the most power of all the branches, especially through the ability to overrule local governments and ensure the integrity of the government, but they also have de facto power over the Ruling Council (via appointments). How are members of the Tribunal appointed and/or elected (if appointed, then by who)? How does the Tribunal make a decision (majority? 70%? unanimity)? Perhaps you could elaborate on the structure of the Tribunal beyond Article 2.4.

Also, if the constitution is meant to have a balance of powers, perhaps consider modifying Articles 2.1, 2.3, 3.2, as I think those three articles have potential for abuse by members of the Tribunal. For example, for Article 2.1 the Tribunal could announce investigations into the headchair if they disliked him/her, and influence an election. They could use Article 2.3 to shape local politics to their whim. If you want to keep such powers, then how does the Constitution ensure such powers don't get into the hands of unscrupulous actors, or how can the other branches remove such actors?

How are members of the chamber appointed/elected. If I was to interpret Article 3.3, the Chamber is made up of all the regional and municipal leaders. But then what is to stop individual regions/municipalities to alter the structure of their governments to increase the number of leaders and take up a greater proportion of the Chamber? For example, splitting their region into two, or having two leaders instead of one.

What is a minor issue in Article 3.4. Who determines this? Does a ruling pass with majority support from the chamber?

Who determines what constitutes an existential threat for Article 4.3? Sounds very much like article 48 of the Weimar constitution, and whoever gets to make such a determination holds a lot of power.

Article 4.4 is pretty vague, saying the parties to a civil war will act accordingly and will discuss conflicts of interest in a reasonable way is so broad that it feels close to meaningless.

Perhaps expand on Article 5.1f, what standards do the police have to meet before detaining a citizen? How long can a citizen be detained? Similarly, what is the standard for conviction for Article 5.1g? Do citizens have a right to a jury trial?

I think codifying a responsibility to be free from corruption (Article 7.1c) is dangerous, as unscrupulous actors have used anti-corruption laws to suppress political opposition. Though in fairness, there isn't really any part of the Article that lays out powers for tackling corruption, so perhaps it's not that much an issue.

Finally, who is in charge of the armed forces? After all, political power grows out of the barrel of a gun.

[Prosperon]

The Ruling Council will impose it’s authority through Mandates.

The correct spelling is ‘its’.

Before a Mandate is passed a Commission must be made.
Here, in terms of grammar, I’d add a comma before ‘a commission must be made’. Also, given that you refer to these as ‘committees’ in future points, I’d suggest you also change this so that the reference to these organisms is homogeneous.

And so on and so forth.

Thank you so much for the feedback! All of these are good ideas, and I would not have thought of many of them without this reply. Thanks for the help!

[Prosperon]

Just a few thoughts.

The Tribunal appears to be by far the most powerful branch of Prosperon, not only do they hold the most power of all the branches, especially through the ability to overrule local governments and ensure the integrity of the government, but they also have de facto power over the Ruling Council (via appointments). How are members of the Tribunal appointed and/or elected (if appointed, then by who)? How does the Tribunal make a decision (majority? 70%? unanimity)? Perhaps you could...

And so on and so forth.

Thank you for all of the feedback. It seems that both you and Eothasia have concerns about the power of the Tribunal. I had originally intended it to be an organization meant to keep an eye on the other governing bodies. I can see though that it has too much power. All of your other suggestions where great as well. Thanks for reading my constitution!

[Tinhampton]

Rare is the man (or woman - sorry!) who manages to string up a decent constitution for their roleplayed nation within a week of creating it; for this, I must commend you.

I do find it rather baffling that you see the need to define the dimensions of your flag in your constitution when many constitutions (a few chosen at random: Estonia, Malawi, Panama) imply or decree that the design of the flag and other national symbols are to be provided for in statutory law. If you do choose to keep Article 8.1, the dimensions can be simplified to 107x64 or even - if you are so inclined to change your flag that way - 5x3.

[-Astoria]

Constitution Of

You don't generally capitalise "of".

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rectangle of dimensions 428 by 256

428 by 256 what, exactly?

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To personally uphold the rights.

See above.

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[Eothasia]

The correct spelling is ‘its’.


And so on and so forth.

Thank you so much for the feedback! All of these are good ideas, and I would not have thought of many of them without this reply. Thanks for the help!

Don’t mention it! My pleasure!! I think it’s great that you’re working on your constitution, and if I can help you in that endeavour, then I most definitely will!

[Mantesa]

It’s not a huge deal, more of a “literary” quality issue but in this part

Article 5 (The Rights Of A Prosperan)
The People's Republic of Prosperon will adhere to all of the rights set out here. No governing body in the nation may ignore these rights:
The right to equality.
The right to life.
The right to
Freedom from slavery.
Freedom from torture.
The right to not be unfairly detained.
The right to trial.
The right to privacy.
Freedom of movement.
The right to personal possessions.
Freedom of thought.
Freedom of expression.
The right to public assembly.
The right to democracy.
The right to shelter.
The right to food & water.
The right to social security.
The right to education.
Freedom of religion.
Every citizen has the right to a house, adequate food and water, free healthcare, a free education through post-secondary and beyond, as well as recreational and arts related items. The government must provide these to every citizen in order to give all Prosperans an equal footing to succeed.

I’d rather change the order of this list so that rights and freedoms are separated, instead of mixed like they currently are. For example, first you could enunciate all the freedoms and then all the rights, or viceversa

[Prosperon]

It’s not a huge deal, more of a “literary” quality issue but in this part

I’d rather change the order of this list so that rights and freedoms are separated, instead of mixed like they currently are. For example, first you could enunciate all the freedoms and then all the rights, or viceversa

Good advice. I'll make sure to modify that article to make it more aesthetically pleasing. Thanks for the feedback!

[Lillorainen]

Oii, Prosperon,
At first, kudos to you for already putting a constitution up within the short time you've been around so far, and greetings from an incredibly lazy sod busy guy who has planned the same for two years and still hasn't gotten around to this. ^^
Now, on a few details that have bugged me since reading your (overall already very neatly made!) constitution, especially on Article 3:
Like Eothasia already mentioned, the 'minor issues' clause. What my question now would be, is, what exactly is legally defined as a 'minor' issue? This seems to be a bit too vague for me, especially since most federations have more or less clear distinctions of which fields of politics are dealt with by national, and which by regional governments/legislatures. My personal suggestion would be to establish, that the Chamber discusses matters that directly concern matters falling into the regional governments' jurisdictions (in a similar manner like the German Bundesrat has to approve of any proposal of the Bundestag which interferes with the jurisdictions of the State Governments).
Should such a legal definition exist outside the constitution, consider amending that clause by something like, "Details shall be regulated by a federal law."
On a more stylistic note, I would use 'concerning the nation' in lieu of 'plaguing the nation'. Sounds more professional in my ears.
Another point coming into my mind - the Preamble. I figure, that you wish to keep it short, but I think, it could be improved, in order to sound a bit more like real-world constitutional preambles (where they exist, that is). May I suggest an alternative wording?

"We the people of Prosperon, conscious of the threat of invasion and the destruction of our Homeland, inspired by the determination to protect the rights of all Prosperans and willingness to ensure the continued sovereignty of Prosperon, resolved to create a peaceful, intelligent, and equal society for all citizens, hereby give this document to paper."

This is all that comes into my mind right now. Should I find anything else I can't think of right in the moment, I'm gonna check back. ^^
Best regards, and keep it up,
Lillo

[Prosperon]

Oii, Prosperon,
At first, kudos to you for already putting a constitution up within the...

And so on and so forth.

Thanks for all of the feedback. The new preamble you wrote was much better, and I'll replace the current one with it. Also, I'll try to change the "minor issues" issue to make it more specific. Your suggestion was really good. Thanks for the help!