Munkcestrian
WhatisMunkcestriandodging?
Recently there has been some confusion over the nature of Munkcestrian dodging (each word should be a link). I hope to clear this up a bit.
According to (self-proclaimed) experts on the subject, Munkcestrian dodging allows one to tap into the global consciousness and through psi predict where an opponent will attack and enhance the practitioner’s reflexes accordingly. Others, however, have claimed that “[Munkcestrian dodgers are] just really, really fucking lucky”.
While other theories as to how exactly Munkcestrian dodging works have been proposed, these remain the main two schools of thought.
According to (self-proclaimed) experts on the subject, Munkcestrian dodging allows one to tap into the global consciousness and through psi predict where an opponent will attack and enhance the practitioner’s reflexes accordingly. Others, however, have claimed that “[Munkcestrian dodgers are] just really, really fucking lucky”.
While other theories as to how exactly Munkcestrian dodging works have been proposed, these remain the main two schools of thought.
HistoryofMunkcestriandodging
Munkcestrian dodging is an ancient martial art with origins among the ancient monastic hermits of Munkchester. According to tradition, it was none other than St. Walbret, patron saint of Munkchester, who first practiced Munkcestrian dodging. Despite their original intentions to lead solitary lives, these hermits were joined by so many disciples that they chose to instead found monasteries. Walbret would be chosen as the first abbot of these monasteries, and following his death the monks would choose to name their island Walhbryhtsey in his honour. In recent years, however, following the rediscovery of a manuscript in which Walbret passionately denounced the evils of slavery, this aspect of the history of Munkcestrian dodging has been played down.
For the next few hundred years, these monasteries taught Munkcestrian dodging to students from all corners of the known world. Unfortunately, one day the monks were taken by surprise as they slept and were massacred by vikings, having stayed awake all night for what the only survivor, a young man named Mathe who while drunk had fallen into a cave on the other side of the island, would describe as ‘the most epic party ever’. His home destroyed, Mathe would leave to become a ‘wandering monk’. Eventually he arrived at the court of a great king of a distant land, who initially he greatly offended by sleeping with a princess. However, when the king ordered his bodyguards to kill the young monk, Mathe displayed such skill at dodging that the impressed king decided to forgive his misconduct and welcome him into his service. The king however did require Mathe to marry the daughter whose virtue he had stolen, and the wannabe lifelong casanova bachelor’s protests that this would go against his (former) monastery’s rules on marriage (having ignored the ones on celibacy) were to no avail.
Resigning himself to this new life, at least until his father-in-law's death and his inheritance of a small fortune, Mathe taught members of the court some of the tricks of dodging in return for entirely voluntary donations, resulting in the export of bastardised and it must be said flawed forms of Munkcestrian dodging to various parts of the world. When the king eventually did die, Mathe left to reintroduce dodging to the islands from which he came, which he now found settled by farmers rather confused about the whole thing. Hiring architects, stonemasons, and other workers of great skill, Mathe began construction on the combined castle-monastery which would eventually give Munkchester its name. The descendants of Mathe from his marriage would rule as prince-abbots of Munkchester until the 14th century, when they were deposed by a group of merchants over some dispute or another, the precise details of which have since been lost to time, resulting in the establishment of the Munkcestrian Republic.
Today, Munkcestrian dodging is taught only at the Munkcestrian School of Dodging. 2018 saw an attempt by the government to take advantage of increased foreign attention following the Sultan’s head incident to open the school to international students on a trial basis, but this ended in tragedy when, due to having completely ignored their studies of dodging, the entire student body was killed during a surprise dodging exam administered by the Munkcestrian Constabulary. Among those killed were: Khadijah Ali, an Azadistani princess and prime minister’s protégé; Amy Caradang, daughter of Standard Oil CEO Darl Caradang; a cousin of Irene von Wittelsbach, daughter ofthe a Bavarian king; Dar Ashurbanipal, great-grandson of the Adabian emperor Tizqar III; Ier Imanaya (aka Rei Ayanami), a leader of the Anime Army; Inga von Nikolsburg, daughter of the duke of Sandau-Nikolsburg; Onkrieg Polan, nephew of Victor Polan I of Suryak; and Maruyama Yoshihide, a scion of the Yoshihide Clan. Miraculously, this massacre of adolescents associated with powerful figures from a variety of powerful countries somehow managed to avoid – dodge, you could say – resulting in an international intervention of truly epic proportions.
Although there have been continued requests for the school to reopen its doors to foreigners, it is unlikely that the Munkcestrian government will allow any such thing.
Leave your thoughts and questions below, please!
I look forward to updating this thread as needed and answering any questions you may have about Munkcestrian dodging.
For the next few hundred years, these monasteries taught Munkcestrian dodging to students from all corners of the known world. Unfortunately, one day the monks were taken by surprise as they slept and were massacred by vikings, having stayed awake all night for what the only survivor, a young man named Mathe who while drunk had fallen into a cave on the other side of the island, would describe as ‘the most epic party ever’. His home destroyed, Mathe would leave to become a ‘wandering monk’. Eventually he arrived at the court of a great king of a distant land, who initially he greatly offended by sleeping with a princess. However, when the king ordered his bodyguards to kill the young monk, Mathe displayed such skill at dodging that the impressed king decided to forgive his misconduct and welcome him into his service. The king however did require Mathe to marry the daughter whose virtue he had stolen, and the wannabe lifelong casanova bachelor’s protests that this would go against his (former) monastery’s rules on marriage (having ignored the ones on celibacy) were to no avail.
Resigning himself to this new life, at least until his father-in-law's death and his inheritance of a small fortune, Mathe taught members of the court some of the tricks of dodging in return for entirely voluntary donations, resulting in the export of bastardised and it must be said flawed forms of Munkcestrian dodging to various parts of the world. When the king eventually did die, Mathe left to reintroduce dodging to the islands from which he came, which he now found settled by farmers rather confused about the whole thing. Hiring architects, stonemasons, and other workers of great skill, Mathe began construction on the combined castle-monastery which would eventually give Munkchester its name. The descendants of Mathe from his marriage would rule as prince-abbots of Munkchester until the 14th century, when they were deposed by a group of merchants over some dispute or another, the precise details of which have since been lost to time, resulting in the establishment of the Munkcestrian Republic.
Today, Munkcestrian dodging is taught only at the Munkcestrian School of Dodging. 2018 saw an attempt by the government to take advantage of increased foreign attention following the Sultan’s head incident to open the school to international students on a trial basis, but this ended in tragedy when, due to having completely ignored their studies of dodging, the entire student body was killed during a surprise dodging exam administered by the Munkcestrian Constabulary. Among those killed were: Khadijah Ali, an Azadistani princess and prime minister’s protégé; Amy Caradang, daughter of Standard Oil CEO Darl Caradang; a cousin of Irene von Wittelsbach, daughter of
Although there have been continued requests for the school to reopen its doors to foreigners, it is unlikely that the Munkcestrian government will allow any such thing.
Leave your thoughts and questions below, please!
I look forward to updating this thread as needed and answering any questions you may have about Munkcestrian dodging.
