Summer Camps Now Open in US-SSR

[US-SSR]

The Colony of US-SSR informs all other nations that immigration to our territory (except for ethnic Russians) is now closed. For those of you who care to try to enter, US-SSR has established a chain of summer camps.

We have only the best summer camps. Many people are saying they enjoy summer camps in the US-SSR more than any other summer camps ever in history. We even need to provide overflow facilities for our summer camps in some of our other recreational facilities.

US-SSR has the most exclusive summer camps. We provide separate camps for boys, girls, mothers, fathers, Mexicans, Canadians, Muslims, Jews, Asians, homosexuals, transsexuals, metrosexuals, asexuals, porn stars, Playboy models (these two upon completion of the appropriate Non-Disclosure Agreements and off-the-books cash-not cash payoffs), journalists and other enemies of the people and many, many other groups. There are good people in all our summer camps.

Summer camps in the US-SSR feature ample opportunities for recreation such as running from child molesters, dodging blows from guards, chasing after nonconsensual doses of antipsychotic meds and fighting for basic hygene supplies.

So if you decide to ignore our laws and attempt entry into the US-SSR, prepare yourself for the most intense experiences of your life in our famous summer camps. Many of our visitors say it changed them forever.