The Crazybloxian Times [NEWS] • Crazybloxian Empire ONLY

[Crazybloxian Empire]

RAMEN FLOODS TINY TOWN OF ARCHESTECHRIA
A busy ramen kitchen operating in Crazybloxia has caused a flood to occur in nearby village Archestechria.

People rushed to the 2nd floor of their houses, while some people were on boats eating the ramen. The ramen that was coming from the kitchen also flooded into a tiny part of Crazybloxia’s business district.

Firefighters will be sent over to Archestechria to contain the flood. The ramen restaurant has assistend the firefighters with equipment. Many people assisted, including the Empire’s most infamous good samaritan Armbrleg Ertploam.

Military units will also prevent anyone from entering while firefighter units contain the flood. The flood will take around a week to contain.

FULL STORY
And more stories......

______

OOC: Due to me running out of news ideas, stories will be published every 3 days. There are more errands to do in my real life, so that what made me inactive for a long time.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

OOC: Due to a lack of journalists, The Crazybloxian Times will officially shut down today... Now there will be no more news in this thread, but someday I will come back and make stories again. We are active again!

[Crazybloxian Empire]

Empire Burgeoning Economy; Begins Construction Of Storefront Concerning Christmas International Airport

SOUTH CRAZYBLOXIA, October Thu. 11 — The Empire is ready to expand the airport market, introducing the busiest airport and opening it up to more international destinations. 75% is used for passengers, and only one destination exists which goes to Nusalia. It’s main use was to take passengers to Amelyn-2.

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[Crazybloxian Empire]

Garsyada Fishermen Encounter Britannia; Discovery Baffles Experts

GARSYADA, OCTOBER 11, 2018, THU— Garsyada’s fishermen were treated to a shocking sight while fishing off the coast. Their accounts read out:

We were fishing off the coast, and then we found an island. We used binoculars, and we found Britannia on that one island. We were sure it was not a poster or picture. We heard a voice which made our minds authenticate the encounter.

Nothing happened, and we went fishing as normal.

The navy was mobilized to find Britannia on the island and was found at 5:17PM on an island, along with 3 other persons, who appeared to be the personifications of USA (Columbia), US Gov’T (Uncle Sam) and Russia (Mother Russia). They were sent to the Rare Occurences Department andd given necessary treatments.

Alongside the situation, the island recieved a pernament protection area, and a stone was erected 2km off the island commemorating the discovery. The discovery had exactly baffled experts, and many organizations mobilized researchers in the thousands.

The researchers mobilized were then working rigorously to discover the truth behind the mystery, as this was the first time they were dealing with such a mystery and worked 24/7 around the clock, some falling asleep on the job.

Truth was discovered, partially when a yellowish-powdery substance was found on the island where Britannia was discovered by the fishermen, and appeared to have weird characteristics. Samples of the powder were sent for analysis, and is as of now a secret until the entire mystery is solved.

Research work is expected to go on for three weeks before productivity levels slow down, as productivity was maximum.

SENSATIONAL !!!!!
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[Crazybloxian Empire]

Crazybloxian Empire Builds A Presence In WorldVision

DAZAJIN, Axuva; Friday, October 12 — The Empire has sent it’s best artists and the president, Crazybloxeha Groetu far away to Dazajin, Axuva, the place where the WorldVision song contest is being held. Other nations were pesent who had already performed.

This was true at the sixty-eighth WorldVision song contest between nations, Crazybloxian Empire’s first parcitipation at the WorldVision contest. Plans are soon to be announced with the Empire vowing to host the 69th contest.

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[Crazybloxian Empire]

Truth About Britannia Sighting Discovered By Scientists; Powder Originated From An Unkown Planet

BRITANNICA, October 12, 2018 — The mysterious yellowish powder discovered during the investigations into the science of the appearance of Britannia has partially uncovoered “a pixel” of the mystery, scientists say.

The Crazybloxia University said in a press release that the powder originated from an unknown planet, which had yellow sand. Britannia’s trident was sighted in the 1987 encounter of a UFO in the home universe of Crazybloxian Empire, was linked to the incident.

The yellowish powder in question was actually the sand, and the main characteristics about such powder was that it could be set on fire, and at random times exploded, often injuring scientists. The powder was locked in containment after repeated incidents, and got the scientific name of Craliterjaimangeainamoniusreayteaixtblongarsangachin -ium.

Around 272.6 grams of the powder were present on the island, and the scientists are still trying to discover where Britannia came from.

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[Crazybloxian Empire]

GOLD IS HIT; HUGE DEPOSIT OF OBLITERENEIUM FOUND IN EMPIRE 7KM DEEP; MINERS GET DIGGING

CRAZYBLOXIAN-ARCHEGNUM BORDER, Wednesday 17 October — A huge deposit of Oblitereneium was discovered after being in short supply for three months, and is being tapped by hundreds of mines, temporarily set up in the area, while more permanent mines were being built.

Companies have called the discovery “shocking”, while struggling to find the resource in their prospecting operations globally, spanning Siwale, Sutherland, Himika, Highton, Berkowitzia, and McMasterdonia.

A vein of Oblitereneium • CREDIT: Wikimedia Commons/Peripitus

Oblitereneium is currently at 28,116 NSD per kilogram. Tiny deposits were found in the Southern Uninhabited Zone, and the large deposit spans 21km into Archegnum’s border.

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[Crazybloxian Empire]

TOILING SLAVE
Get efficient slaves. We can deliver amazing slaves to your door. Same-day order acceptance

ADVERT by Toiling Slave
The link goes to GE&T

[Crazybloxian Empire]

BUTTON DISCOVERED, PRESSED; DESTROYS STAR IN TANBAT-12’S STAR SYSTEM!
TANBAT-12 is a planet in Amelyn-2.

TANBAT-12, August 21, 2053 — As Crazybloxian Empire’s 281th Spaceship Division was expanding into Amelyn-2, they stumbled upon a button and out of curiosity, it was pressed. Nothing had occured.

But after 8 minutes, a message was relayed to ARCHEGNUM-7, in another planet, to report that it had “turned night”. Flashlights activated, and after ARCHEGNUM-7 sent investigators, the star/sun was missing.

The distress call was logged and read out:

• TANBAT-12: Distress signal from TANBAT-12 to ARCHEGNUM-7. Something concerning lights has went south with our colonization of TANBAT-12.
• ARCHEGNUM-7: What’s the situation?
• TANBAT-12: Some dude in the 281th Spaceship Division found a button and pressed it. We expected nothing, but in three minutes something turned off
• ARCHEGNUM-7: Roger. We’ll send the 28th Spaceship Divison over.
• TANBAT-12: Calling in again: Where are the investigators?
• ARCHEGNUM-7: They’re approaching

The message was relayed to the Unusual Incidents Division and an investigation was conducted, in which the button actually made the star “go poof”.

Flashlights were still in their kits, although will be stuck as they had not brought them. A rescue ship will be sent but navigation will be hard as the planet is not visible. Radar technology will be unusable, investigators say, as the planet absorbs radar signals.

The convoy, will consist of 36 spaceships, 21 Illumination Ships and three stellospheres with 37,200 crew aboard and the rescue mission will last until September 4, experts speculate.

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The Time
OOC: This clock displays Crazybloxian Empire’s RP time during when this story was released
August 21, 2053

TANBAT-12 is a planet in Amelyn-2

[Crazybloxian Empire]

We’ll be on standby until November 10.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

RESCUE SPACESHIPS CLOSE IN AND LAND ON TANBAT-12 AFTER MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE

TANBAT-12, — The rescue ship taskforce have closed in on TANBAT-12 as they attempt to rescue the colonizers stranded on TANBAT-12 after a mysterious button deactivated the star of TANBAT-12.

Water was still within reach of the colonizers, but not food, which will mean the rescue could take 2 weeks, and is urgent as the colonizers will die in a week if they are not rescued.

---

Rescue map of TANBAT-12

It was revealed that there were 2 squadrons, the 21st Rescue Army and 15th Rescue Army. A high priority search area was designated as that would where the colonizers be located in with searches being more rigorous in that area.

Radio signals were sent, as they had managed to get past the radio-blocking atmosphere. The exact whereabouts were worked out after the radio signals reached the colonizers and also picked up a planned colony location.

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The Time
OOC: This clock displays Crazybloxian Empire’s RP time during when this story was released
September 7

OOC: In a few weeks’ time, we will outnumber the Hundredstar Newsfeed. Quality matters more than quantity.

[Crazybloxian Empire]

EMPIRE TO STOP EXPANDING IN AMELYN-2, CITES OVERSTRECHED SUPPLY LINES: SELF SUFFICIENCY LAST RESORT FOR COLONIZERS

AMELYN-2, October 22 — Expansion by most of the spaceship divisions of Crazybloxian Empire had peaked, with 271 new planets gained within a month. 17 planets were colonized and three were terraformed. There has also been rapid growth in cities on each planet, with growth being insane that expansion will be freezed, and is growing more than it can be documented. Overstretching supply lines have caused expansion to freeze.

Some of the lines were so streched that a shipment of paperclips came once every 27 years. Fuel concerns have led to 285 of the supply ships being destroyed, out of the 185,200 deployable in the Spaceship Regiment. Self-sufficiency will slowly be adopted on each planet, noting that all the planets are connected by a space train, and portals are also being developed to avoid time travel during the space train’s travel.

Over 1,250 galaxies were colonized during this expansion, and will freeze and only an additional galaxy will be occupied when necessary and will be used only for hunting. 31 galaxies act as military bases and installations, or any other things concerning the military, and the production of tanks, arms, and farming of rations, resulting in fifty new tanks every minute. Companies will still continue expansion to prospect for natural resources such as coal, iron ore, gold, silver, and other kinds of ore.

21 galaxies are used for economic purposes and are sold on GE&T storefronts, producing computers, phones etc. With very long shipments, colonizers/residents could starve to death as shipments might not arrive before their current supplies run out. In turn, this led to mass starvations in the ACHIN-17 star system, in which 21 million people on the planet starved after negligent acts caused the shipments to arrive three months late, and was discovered only after the captain discovered the city being lifeless.

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[Crazybloxian Empire]

LIBRARY OF 3 BILLION BOOKS PLANNED; TO SET FOOT ON CRAZYBLOXIA

CRAZYBLOXIA, October 23, 2018 — Architects in Crazybloxia have planned a megalibrary, to compete with existing libraries. The library will have 34 floors and the 26th-31th floor will be dedicated to Anti-Renegallean propaganda and Renegalle flag dispensers for desecration by Crazybloxians, dispensing a flag for .25 sliding doors.

The library is expected to carry three billion books, and will be the largest one yet. Construction will start in 2056 and expects a finish in 2075. It will have futuristic technology, and more security.

---

Artist’s impression of the new library

Plans state that there will be 7 entrances, and due to limited space in the city center, all floors will be located below except the ground floor. The ground floor will be 75 square meters and 5 meters high and the other 26 floors 6 meters high and 1 square kilometer in size, which will allow people to read books 151 meters deep.

To avoid Vitamin D deficiency and insanity due to lack of sun, footage of the sun will be watchable on TVs and special holes called Vitamin D Holes to allow the entry of sunlight.

Plants will be deployed, and a mini-tram system will be set up as the floors are one kilometre in diameter.

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[Crazybloxian Empire]

UNLICENSED MONEYLENDERS OBLITERATED AND ARRESTED

INMASC, October 23, 2018 — An entire unlicensed moneylending syndicate consisting of 821,000 people have been busted, and have been identified to operate in other countries, which are currently unknown.

Punishments are yet to be decided as the tricky 2-year investigation started when a family lodged a report after constant harassment. They agreed to disclose a transcript of a call they got from the “Extraction Division”.

BETTER PAY UP OR ELSE!!

It was later found out that the syndicate was formed of four divisions divided into more divisions by operating area and method and consisted of an Enticement, Extraction, Harassment, and Transferring Division. Altogether they will be put into trial and will last 7 months to trial the entire syndicate.

Around 188 million sliding doors were seized from the syndicate.

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[Crazybloxian Empire]

-Censored-

[Common Territories]

(Image)

LETHAL FORCE LAST RESORT; MASSIVE 2500 JET MANEUVER CONDUCTED AGAINST WOLF ARMAMENTS; LETHAL FORCE AGAINST FACTORIES AND STORES STAGED ON FOREIGN LANDS

CRAZYBLOXIA, October 29, 2018 — After denial of orders by Wolf Armaments to the Crazybloxian Empire, a massive aerial manuever has been staged, and the 21st-51st Aerial Maneuver Division was called. 27 naval regiments comprised of 170 ships sinked and attacked merchant ships at ports of Common Territories, and ships disguised as inspection boarded ships of such origin and arms were stolen and the captain killed, to avoid reports.

Wolf Armaments, described Crazybloxian Empire as a “stealer”, and began attempts to capture the CEO and charge him/her for defamation. Nuclear attacks were also authorized against Common Territories.

Bombardment of condemnation communiques will be authorized, and constant insults will also be authorized, as it is clear Crazybloxian Empire is at risk of being deprived of armaments. Angry protesters also staged riots in foreign nations, using the strategy of encircling riot police, with assistance from Crazybloxian Empire soldiers dispatched within buildings as backup.

21 factories of Wolf Armaments were robbed in the first hours, by 23,000 soldiers. 28 new divisions were formed, labelled Wolf Armaments Robbery Commission And Lethal Force Division, acronym WARCALF Division.

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OOC: Look Crazybloxian Empire. I don't mind talking about holding a thread sometime (I wont promise a thread since it'd require my interest plus free time, so I will at least think on it), but you cannot take control of my property and decide results on your own without even mentioning anything to me. These are massive breaches of RP etiquette here on NS, especially the fact that I wasn't allowed a say in any of this. I will have to ask you to refrain for this god modding behavior or else you'll leave me no choice but to end the relationship here and ignore cannon you for good. Like I said, we can talk about holding a thread or something if you wish, but this news article and what supposedly happened in it, never happened. It's ignored and declared noncanon. The fact remains your thread not only breached my rights as an RPer, but probably others considering you claimed to have attacked foreign manufacturing plants. So what you did to me, you did to marginally less extent to others who have zero clue this is happening. If you want to target me and foreign operators, talk to all of us first.

[Australian rePublic]

(Image)

LIBRARY OF 3 BILLION BOOKS PLANNED; TO SET FOOT ON CRAZYBLOXIA

CRAZYBLOXIA, October 23, 2018 — Architects in Crazybloxia have planned a megalibrary, to compete with existing libraries. The library will have 34 floors and the 26th-31th floor will be dedicated to Anti-Renegallean propaganda and Renegalle flag dispensers for desecration by Crazybloxians, dispensing a flag for .25 sliding doors.

The library is expected to carry three billion books, and will be the largest one yet. Construction will start in 2056 and expects a finish in 2075. It will have futuristic technology, and more security.

(Image)

---

Artist’s impression of the new library

Plans state that there will be 7 entrances, and due to limited space in the city center, all floors will be located below except the ground floor. The ground floor will be 75 square meters and 5 meters high and the other 26 floors 6 meters high and 1 square kilometer in size, which will allow people to read books 151 meters deep.

To avoid Vitamin D deficiency and insanity due to lack of sun, footage of the sun will be watchable on TVs and special holes called Vitamin D Holes to allow the entry of sunlight.

Plants will be deployed, and a mini-tram system will be set up as the floors are one kilometre in diameter.

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Three billion books? How are three billion books possible? Especially considering that your government is the type which censors most of them. Are there even 3 billion books in existence which are approved by your government?

[Crazybloxian Empire]

Enough. Please take comments/complaints to the comments thread.

[Australian rePublic]

Enough. Please take comments/complaints to the comments thread.

OOC: And I told you in a telegram. THis was posted BEFORE you closed the thread to the public. Given your track record when it comes to receiving feedback, I didn't know that this would be the one, single piece of feedback that you actually took heed of. I'm sorry for interefering with your thread, but I was allowed to at the time of posting

[Crazybloxian Empire]

MASS BURNING OF FLAGS OCCUR OVER EXTREME OUTRAGE: 10 MILLION FLAGS BURNED

CRAZYBLOXIAN EMPIRE, October 30, 2018 — A mass burning of the flags of Common Territories and Australian Republic (rePublic) commenced across major cities, with major protests over interference and vandalism of Crazybloxian Empire’s national newspaper, The Crazybloxian Times.

The interference was so severe comments have been disabled permanently. Citizens of the two nations living in the Empire have also been ejected out of the Empire and added onto a travel blacklist. Rumours of civillians from the two nations hacking the computers to change the files and add their complaint were quick to spread on social media, and various websites.

Meanwhile, police attempted to track down the suspects, and are conducting investigations.

[Cosmopolitan borovan]

Umm, why are you including australian republic and common territories over flag burning in response to interfereing with news thread this is meta roleplaying and it's not nice