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The Crazybloxian Times [NEWS] • Crazybloxian Empire ONLY

A place to put national factbooks, embassy exchanges, and other information regarding the nations of the world. [In character]
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The Crazybloxian Times [NEWS] • Crazybloxian Empire ONLY

Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Wed Jun 27, 2018 11:12 pm

Welcome to the Crazybloxian Empire TCT archive!


NOW AVAILABLE IN PDF
PDF EDITION

DISPATCH STATS

23

DISPATCHES




14
ISSUES

9
EXCLUSIVE ISSUES

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Here you can find a list of my old content.

All the Issues
Issue 15 - Wikipedia unbanned
Issue 14
Issue 13 - Tsunami hits Crazybloxians
Issue 12
Issue 11
Issue 10
Issue 9
Issue 8
Issue 7
Issue 6
Issue 5
Issue 4
Issue 3 - Rocket fuel booms in efficiency
Issue 2 - The Crazybloxian Empire takes action against the Zombies
Issue 1 - Crazybloxian Empire sends an Ultimatum to Renegalle
Extensive news coverage at https://crazybloxianempireinfo.miraheze.org/wiki/The_Crazybloxian_Times_Extended_Coverage

“Exclusive Articles”

Euroslavian Citizens: Sent to Genocide!
Crazybloxians Demand Peace
Diplomatic pressure reaching “steam” levels
Crazybloxian Empire is out of the Universe
Crazybloxian Empire takes action against the zombies
Risk Universalis Monarchy Assasination Force is created
Crazybloxian Empire declares war on SCUT
Genocide Begone!
Assasination of Sir Renge Fails


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[hr]—

Thank you

All Readers
For reading the Articles
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All Wild Things
Featuring our news publication in The NewsStand
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The Creators of BBCode
For facilitating the formatting of every fine-made The Crazybloxian Times article




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The Crazybloxian Times is a news publication, founded in the 1800s, or circa April 15-20, called just “Crazybloxian Times”. “The” was added in the third issue. The Crazybloxian Times has the mission of bringing the Crazybloxians their well-deserved news.

Copyrights
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All stories licensed under Creative Commons UNLESS NOTED


News Release
We try to release at least one story comprised of six paragraphs.
Note: NO NEWS STORIES ARE UPLOADED ON WEEKENDS (WEST OF THE INTERNATIONAL DATE LINE). You sometimes could get weekend stories. Stories are not released on public holidays (Singapore public holidays).


Authorized Posters
• Crazybloxian Empire
• Crazybloxian News Department
• Unionsrepublik
ADVERTISING OPPORTUNITIES. The posters listed above can post as much news as they want. You can post, but only advertisements and they must be marked as advertisements. By putting an ad, you agree to give me full control of it under NS conventions, and so, send me a “gram” (my slang term for Telegram) before you put your ad. Give me the posting code or image URL, and I’ll integrate it into a news story. No commercial advertising. I accept advertising for your GE&T business and other reasons as I desire.


When putting your ad, it’ll look like this:
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A Sample Headline



WHERE?, WHEN? — TEXT


[ 164,220 ] SHARES
[ 775,227 ] READS
SHARE ON: [ GOOGLE ] [ FACEBOOK ] [ EMAIL ] [ VK.COM ] [ TWITTER ][/code]
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ADVERT • Added by [insert company or nation name]


This publication is government-run.


News story code: This is a template I dedicate to the Public domain
Code: Select all
[img]https://static.miraheze.org/crazybloxianempireinfowiki/archive/4/44/20180816053717%21TCT_logo.jpeg[/img]
[align=center][b][size=300][i]HEADLINEHEADLINEHEADLINEHEADLINEHEADLINE[/i][/size][/b][/align]


[align=justify][b]WHERE?[/b], WHEN? — TEXT[/align]

[ [b]164,220[/b] ] SHARES
[ [b]775,227[/b] ] READS
SHARE ON: [ GOOGLE ] [ FACEBOOK ] [ EMAIL ] [ VK.COM ] [ TWITTER ]
Last edited by Crazybloxian Empire on Mon Oct 29, 2018 8:40 pm, edited 35 times in total.

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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Thu Jun 28, 2018 6:09 am

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RENEGALLEAN MAID CONVICTED OF MURDER
28 June
CRAZYBLOXIA - A maid from Renegalle has been convicted of the murder of a 62-year old woman at the Nolti Housing Complex on Monday, June 25.

The murder was noticed by the police 6 hours later when someone called for help, and notified the police of a murder. Murderers are usually sentenced to death, but the murderer has been spared due to a program promoting respect amongst Renegalleans, and has been given 30 years instead.

After 3 weeks of investigations, and hundreds of tips from the public, the suspects were traced down to the maid.

The maid confessed to her actions finally at 6:18pm on 28 June when the trial was being held. Her prison sentence was dubbed “as long as eternity” by critics, who were sparking controversy over the 30-year jail sentence given, and was highly controversial amongst judicial enthusiasts.

The maid was also found guilty for 54 other murders, and being a part of the Mulot Murderers’ League. The Mulot Murderers’ League is estimated to be comprised of over 772 members, with the goal to murder as many people as possible a day.

15 years were added to the sentence of the maid arrested for being part of an unlawful society. Investigations have been ongoing since 3196, when the first person was convicted for being a part of the Mulot Murderers’ League. Several members have also been convicted for participating in the unlawful society, and some societies are registered and considered legal under the Secret Society Act.
Last edited by Crazybloxian Empire on Wed Aug 15, 2018 10:42 pm, edited 7 times in total.

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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Thu Jun 28, 2018 5:59 pm

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MONEY RAINS OVER CITY OF PERMAIST
Friday 29 June
PERMAIST - A so-called “money rain” has occured in Permaist, after 600 trucks delivering money, and a group of 179 people dropped 694 million sliding doors’ worth of money on 57 Street, in the southern housing district.

Police struggled to return the money to the trucks as drivers overflowed the
the money rain desperately trying to capture the money.

Heavy traffic was triggered by the cars suddenly stopping, causing a traffic jam spanning from Permaist to Sunniten, via the cities of Morbecrechen and Emera. The government is desperately trying to clear up the traffic jam.

This was the worst traffic jam ever since the Permaist-Morbecrechen traffic jam occured in 3217. Math experts say the traffic jam could clear by 4915.

The traffic jam is now so worse that drivers are leaving their cars, selling items such as newspaper, spaceship materials, wood, and burgers on the streets, further contributing to the traffic jam.

Experts are worried that the traffic jam could reach Crazybloxia by 4916.

An alternative road is currently being built between Emera and Sunniten, and could not build along the full traffic jam due to money problems.
Last edited by Crazybloxian Empire on Wed Jul 18, 2018 7:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Thu Jun 28, 2018 6:00 pm

STORY CENSORED!!
Last edited by Crazybloxian Empire on Mon Oct 01, 2018 11:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Thu Jun 28, 2018 11:44 pm

The Crazybloxian Times
Crazybloxian Empire builds first planet from scratch
Friday 29 June (real life) | Medheims 8 ???? (Force RP time)


CRAZYBLOXIA - The government has announced the success of the very first planet built from scratch. The project began in 3000 A.D when the government was very ambitious in planet colonization.

The project involved over 700,000 megatons (mt) of soil, 2800mt of nickel for the core, 12 million mt and 400k mt for trees. The project costed about 75 quadrillion sliding doors.

Over 600,000 workers have died in the process, but the government claimed “it was worth it”. The project involved 12,000,000 workers, and high-tech equipment.

Among some of the technology used were “hotdrills”, which had the ability to cut through hot areas of the planet being built from scratch.

The government is now preparing the planet for habitability by magnetizing the core, and heating the planet.

The preparation process is expected to take 2 years for the two procedures to be performed to allow habitability.
Last edited by Crazybloxian Empire on Thu Jun 28, 2018 11:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Fri Jun 29, 2018 6:34 am

Remember to visit The NewsStand for more titles and newspapers!
Last edited by Crazybloxian Empire on Mon Jul 02, 2018 7:11 am, edited 3 times in total.

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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Fri Jun 29, 2018 6:34 am

The Crazybloxian Times
Crazybloxian Empire starts new anti-piracy campaign
Friday 29 June | Medheims 8

— — —
CRAZYBLOXIAN SEAsouth of the empire - Piracy problems on Crazybloxian trade lines have reached an all-time high. On Medheims 4, 78 pirates managed to capture 580 tons of paper from a ship that was delivering paper to Unionsrepublik where issues of The Crazybloxian Times are manufactured. The printing presses were scheduled to stop for the last time, as TCT has moved to the forums.

The pirates were captured on Medheims 7 and arrested, and were sentenced to 8 years in jail for piracy offenses.

The Empire’s navy has deployed over 79,000 frigates with 367,000 sailors in the first day of the campaign, and are scheduled to dock at 7:45pm (rp time) today.

Trade values have fallen due to increased piracy. The president also made the campaign international, and are encouraging other nations to join the Anti-Piracy League, which is currently an alliance.

The alliance is currently comprised of Crazybloxian Empire and Unionsrepublik. Recruitment campaigns to gain more nations have begun to attract more members, although the President has also claimed that recruitment would be “moderately hard”.

In a presidential announcement that occured on Medheims 5 at 6:25pm, the Empire has hoped to achieve 6 members by 4925.

The frigates were armed with 500 saliors holding machine guns, with a captain holding a laser pistol. Spaceships were sent also over pirate bases to obliterate and eliminate them, in the Search n’ Destroy Piracy Base subcampaign of the anti-piracy campaign.

There will be 600 spaceships in the area patrolling Crazybloxian Empire, and calculations made by experts say that the piracy problem may be eliminated fully in around 2 years (rp).
Last edited by Crazybloxian Empire on Fri Jun 29, 2018 6:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Sat Jun 30, 2018 6:11 am

The Crazybloxian Times
Crazybloxian Empire activates Porn Elimination Force
Medheims 15
SINCE 1886

CRAZYBLOXIAN EMPIRE’S
LEADING NEWSPAPER

CRAZYBLOXIA - The government has long since been irritated with the problem of excessive pornography since 2544 when a ban was enacted on pornography justifying high rates of pornography addiction amongst citizens. Kids have been exposed to porn so early, and a case reported on circa1 3000-3150 A.D documented the exposure of pornography to children aged 4. The situation has been considered very serious.

In response to the increasing problem of pornography, although it is banned, the President has passed a law creating the Porn Elimination Force, which was activated on the morning of Medheims 15. The President announced his intitiatice to eliminate pornography from Crazybloxian eyes.

Ever since crackdowns began, around 27.6 million porn sites have since been blocked, and over 188,274 pornographers have been arrested. 144,552 out of the 188.2k arrested pornographers have been sentenced to life in prison. It is estimated that as many as 78,700 pornographers are still out of jail, unconvicted.

Footnotes:
(1). Circa (aka “c.”) means an estimate of when the event happened, in this case it happened somewhere between 3000-3150 A.D but the exact date is not known.

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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Sat Jun 30, 2018 5:35 pm

The Crazybloxian Times
Electricity cut in Sampear affects millions
Medheims 22

SAMPEAR - An unexpected electricity cut has crippled thousands of households in the city of Sampear, which cutted the electricity for 7 hours.

The energy company, ForcepowerTM, supplying most of the Empire’s electricity told The Crazybloxian Times that there was a malfunction in the wires at Holland Power Plant located 790km outside of Sampear.

Investigations are still ongoing, but the citizens were angry. As 86% of videogame addicts live there, withdrawal symptoms were very severe and 2 city blocks were destroyed, an eyewitness, who declined to be named, told us.

The subway system in Sampear was also down due to the system’s reliance om the Internet for communication between trains, which required power. Many electronics were down, except the ones with backup power.

After electricity was restored, the residents affected protested on the streets, pledging with the government to issue a fine of 389 million sliding doors to Forcepower.

Forcepower had greatly tarnished it’s reputation due to the power cut, and hopes to clean up it’s reputation, an employee who declined to be named told us.

A preventative campaign has been launched to prevent a repeat of the future.

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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Sun Jul 01, 2018 8:08 pm

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Editorial
RACKING UP MULTIPLE HOURS OF INTERNET USE
Medheims 29
Children these days are getting addicted to their mobile devices or probably, the Internet. The Internet has changed our lives as we know it, but with our children browsing the Web for so long, it can get pretty hard to manage the content they see, which means that managing the content they see proper and making sure it’s suitable for them is as hard as beating the Dark-Sci Facility level in ROBLOX Flood Escape 2 500 times in a row. Parental control programs can do the job, but that would’nt solve the problem either. Tech-savvy kids could easily know how to disable the parental controls and freely browse the Internet. So we can conclude that the parental control program would need parental eye monitor assistance, although we have to consider that they also deserve privacy. The efficiency of a parent monitoring their kids’ internet usage depends on the “Gotcha!” factor. The Gotcha! factor controls how effective monitoring kids’ activities on the internet is. If your child is relaxing, just browsing the web, on a website that you won’t let your child see, freely viewing it, then your child looks on his/her back and sees you, that sure is one easy way to make monitoring your child’s usage even harder, or in some cases HARDER. If you do’nt monitor your kid’s internet usage, it then gets much easier to monitor their usage. So basically when your child is deep asleep, probably at 2am in the really early morning, go step up to the computer and check the browsing history tab containing all the sites your child has visited. Well this only works if you child ain’t tech-savvy or either does not know how to clear the browsing histroy clean as if your child was’nt on the computer at all. Well we’ve somehow one time faced the ethics of checking our children’s browsing history. First of all, it’s invasive of privacy. Your child does deserve some privacy on their computer, so always ask permission from your child to check their browsing history. You can simply ask what websites they really like to visit, probably.
Last edited by Crazybloxian Empire on Thu Aug 09, 2018 8:24 pm, edited 4 times in total.

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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Mon Jul 02, 2018 4:36 am

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RAMEN PIPE FLOODS TOWN
Medheims 29
LORMAILOS - A ramen pipe has flooded the town of Lormailos. The floods were caused by a leak in various ramen restaurants on 467-6t street in the northern districts of Lormailos.

The floods are expected to take billions of hours to clean up, as only 450 clean-up personnel were available at the site of the floods.
Many people struggled to run away from the floods due to the stickiness of the ramen, making it harder to escape.

The ramen was manufactured in a factory just outside of the town, but the encroaching floods were able to flood the ramen factory in hours. Most of the people took to the streets to carry out foodfights, even making a “foodfight world cup”.

The mess is expected to be cleaned by 2020. Investigations are ongoing into the exact cause of the floods.
Last edited by Crazybloxian Empire on Wed Jul 18, 2018 7:15 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Mon Jul 02, 2018 7:10 am

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FIRST EMAIL SPAM SENDBOTS SET UP
Medheims 29
MILET CYBERBASE - The first email spam squadrons have been set up in Milet Cyberbase which will be used against enemy nations. The spam machines were tested on the SCUT capital region, and the machines were capable of sending 5,288,000 emails a second. Even more amazing was the size of the emails, at 700gb.

The idea was devised by the War Council in 2778 as a new method of war. The email spam weapon could fire millions of emails against a selected email address, or send it to all emails whose IP addresses belong to a select country or region.

The email weapon was much more powerful than historic email spam weapons, most of them invented in the Renegallean-Crazybloxian war period to assist in sabotage of communications.

A FURIOUS GOVERNMENT
With the Crazybloxian government still infuriated and furious over losing he opportunity to take the Minister of Foreign Affairs seat, the email spam weapon was used on several vital Waltonburg-Vallonheimian communication systems, including the Ministry of Defence, which was top target. 198 trillion emails containing 138,600,000,000,000,000 gigabytes soon flooded most vital Waltonburg-Vallonheimian communications.

Massive panic had begun and the Expansion Lord Force quickly moved through the nation, reaching the Presidential office in a mind-boggling 3 weeks and assasinating rhe President. The president has been pronounced dead, and the battalion quickly moved to secure the servers containing the software giving the Foreign Affairs management privileges.
Last edited by Crazybloxian Empire on Wed Jul 18, 2018 2:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Mon Jul 02, 2018 9:43 pm

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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Tue Jul 03, 2018 7:38 pm

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EMAIL SPAM ATTACK LAUNCHED ON LIBERTATIS REGALIS
Serhiems 5
In an effort made by the Crazybloxian Empire to gain Prime Minister status, the Email Spamming division of the Ministry of Military has launched a huge email spam attack on vital Libertatis Regalis communication systems, including the nation’s prime minister election campaign.

The Minister of Military has sent 47,000 soldiers to torture the Libertatis Regalisians, and the government has launched a zero-tolerance policy on losing the elections, and the Emergency PM-Gain council has been created in case of election loss.

The president has also ordered an email-spam attack on Seoul-Pyongyang, as a candidate for the elections.

As of now, the Empire has revoked all care in Crazybloxian hospitals located off Libertatis Regalis, and have been replaced with military units.

Ships, mostly trade ships between Libertatis Regalis and Renegalle have been delcared shoot-on-sight, and the main target of the ships will be the captain.

The Empire has seized 600 trillion sliding doors from the ships ever since the protocol begun on Serheims 4.
Last edited by Crazybloxian Empire on Wed Jul 18, 2018 2:50 am, edited 3 times in total.

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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Thu Jul 05, 2018 3:39 am

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SOLUTION FOUND; CAN RECYCLE PAPER INFINITELY INSTEAD OF 6-7 TIMES[/align]
Serheims 15

A new solution that had the ability to recycle paper infinitely was recently invented in Polrati Research Lab located in Alteel-8, the fourth planet to the star in the Force native solar system. The main planet (shown in the Force map) is the 3rd planet to the star.

The solution was widely used shortly after the solution was invented, and quickly spread to Amelyn-2 in 17 hours, 47 minutes, and 12 seconds, and has been awarded a Guiness World Record for fastest spread.

The new invention got positive feedback from many ecological advocates, who have constantly tried to search for a solution to recycle paper infinitely.

Paper could only be recycled 6-7 times as the fibers could be brittle. Factories that had the ability to magically make materials appear were invented on Sercado 27, 3967.

These factories have been able to replace conventional normal factories which gain the materials used to make their products from other facilities.

Ever since, over 67 billion tons of paper have been recycled using the new method. Newspaper is only incinerated due to space purposes, and is instead archived and scanned to be saved as a PDF file in full color in infinite storage servers utilizing infData technology, invented in 3867. The infinite storage facilities have currently over 58 quadrillion pages of newspaper. The newspapers available in physical form are newspapers, whose front headlines and stories document historic Crazybloxian events.
Last edited by Crazybloxian Empire on Tue Jul 17, 2018 6:17 am, edited 4 times in total.

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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Fri Jul 06, 2018 1:00 am

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PUBG FANS DESIGNATED REAL-LIFE PUBG GAMING ZONE
Serheims 19
ERFURAL VILLAGE - The government, competeing with the rising demand for videogames, especially PUBG, have designated a “RePUBG” zone near Erfural Village, a 40 square kilometer patch of land. “Re” stands for Real, and PUBG stands for Player Unknown’s BattleGrounds.

Criticism was very high, as children were allowed to parcitipate in daily rounds. Parents were against the move as they were desperately trying to stop their children’s exposure to violence.

The RePUBG space was earned a high reputation quickly from the developers. The space is expected to increase their profits by 26%.

The guns were not actual, as to prevent deaths, although they use so-called “argon bullets” which are blasts of visible argon gas, and argon gas is used as argon gas does not interact with the body, rendering it harmless. Argon gas is also used in eye surgeries, which were declared obsolete in 2767 and replaced with immortEye technolgy, which rendered eyes uninfectable and completely immune to all diseases.

The minimum age to play is currently 18, or 13+ with parental permission. If anyone between the age of 13-17 desired to parcitipate, the parents would have to sign a 25-page agreeement.

Ticket costs were 29 sliding doors per person aged 13-17 and 59 per adult. Around 65,000 people attended in the first hour, where battling was immense, with even a person possessing 18,000 rounds of machine gun ammo and 2 machine guns.
Last edited by Crazybloxian Empire on Tue Jul 17, 2018 6:15 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Mon Jul 09, 2018 2:44 am

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DAD ACCUSED OF ALLEGEDLY USING LAWNMOWER TO DESTROY KID’S GAMES
Mafons 5

KALTA - A dad has been accused of allegedly destroying his son’s collection of 281,000 games, later found out to be worth 1.6 million, using a lawnmower. The prosecutors have been pushing for a 2 year sentence, as the dad could be convicted of 281 thousand counts of destroying games, which is illegal under Chapter 116 of the CMMTPA or Children and Minors’ Mental Trauma Prevention Act, which protects children from mental trauma, from certain situations which could cause mental trauma (i.e games destroyed).

“These destructions have been rising” said a prosecutor named Lounge Laarty, present in the case of the incident. Anyone guilty of destroying games could be fined 80 thousand sliding doors and/or sentenced to 2 years in prison.

The kid, as the victim, had ultimate power over the trial, being able to choose the punishment. Fortunately, the Empire stores all the game files of all gamers, and back-up data was quickly restored. Games, however were irrecoverable.

Emotional trauma was detected by a brain scan 26 hours shortly after the incident. It was classified as Class 1.5 Severe.

The offences came to light and were discovered by the police after the son called the police, and the police were greeted by the son showing the shredded games.

The dad is awaiting extradition, and has been sentenced to 7.5 years, more than what the prosecutors had expected. He is expected to be jailed on the Libera Spy Base, which was used as a spy base in the war against Renegalle. The Libera Spy Base is located 163km off the eastern coast of Renegalle, and 26,571km from the Renegallean capital city, Reigno.

The Libera Spy Base was classified to the public on Mafons 3, 3057, a few years after the war ended on Mafons 2, 3053. Libera Spy Base was repurposed as a prison that could facilitate 75 thousand prisoners on Maheims 25, 3089. The prison has been maintained for over 600 years.
Last edited by Crazybloxian Empire on Tue Jul 17, 2018 6:13 am, edited 4 times in total.

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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Tue Jul 10, 2018 11:06 pm

STORY REMOVED

REMOVED AT THE ORDER OF THE MINISTRY OF HEALTH
Last edited by Crazybloxian Empire on Thu Jul 12, 2018 11:33 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Thu Jul 12, 2018 1:18 am

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7 PEOPLE HOSPITALIZED AFTER FOOD POISONING IN SASHIMI RESTAURANT
Mafons 26
CRAZYBLOXIA - 7 people were hospitalised in Loram-Webelta General Hospital after they complained of headaches after eating at a sashimi restaurant.

They were later found diagnosed with Horolisis, a disease that originated in 3326 AD. Horolisis spread quickly across food, especially raw fish, which almost shut down the sashimi market. The Horolisis bacteria named Horos libarasus dies in fish when cooked.

The sashimi restaurant has apologized to the 7 people and have recently ramped up food quality checks. The restaurant operator, Sashim, was fined 40,000 sliding doors for the incident.

They are currently recovering in hospital but they face a 27% mortality risk.

Support poured in from many countries including Unionsrepublik, and Sword BJ. The 7 people have said that they expressed high appreciation for the good “samaritans” who came to help.

Investigations are ongoing on the cause of the incident but some people say they could be poisoned due to bad food preparation, which was proven when Sashim’s food hygiene rating plummeted to “Bad” in 3612 AD after traces of Mushjahsitis were found in their kitchens, and sashimi.
LICENSED UNDER
NORMAL COPYRIGHT LICENSE
Last edited by Crazybloxian Empire on Tue Jul 17, 2018 6:12 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:41 am

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NEW SWIMMING CLUB LAUNCHED IN CRAZYBLOXIA; PLOTS TO FACILITATE SOCIAL INTERACTION WITHIN THE EASTERN AREAS OF THE EMPIRE
Plans to service Crazybloxia, Sunniten and other cities with high social isolation rates
Medfons 2
SUNNITEN - The “crazybloxianSwim” club has been founded today with the goal of promoting swimming amongst the population. Social isolation has been increasingly more common across Crazybloxian Empire.

“Friends should be made, not lost”, said Liam Laker, the founder of the club. He also told TCT that it was a non-profit organization.

The main methods that the founder also told us to facilitate friend-making was to ensure collaboration in swimming lessons, and weekly lessons related to making friends. The club has since gained 650 members on it’s first day, and was recognized “Non-profit Organization of the Month” by the Crazybloxian National Company Rating Agency (CNCRA) which rates companies based on hundreds of factors to determine the good in the company’s nature.

Some factors used by the CNCRA include customer reviews, staff working hours, customer service, profits, and staff behavior (verbal behavior is the strongest sub-category in the staff behavior category), along with number of owned registered trademarks (under Crazybloxian trademark law).

More than 200 friends have been bonded since the start of the club, in it’s first day of operation. A critic, declining to be named, described the club as “so happy it could cure post-traumatic stress disorder in a second”.

Other clubs have tried to increase the happiness level in the past although have failed. According to the club’s calculations, they could plummet the happiness level across the Empire to take top place in happiness statistics. Their calculations also expect more than 475,531,119 people being happy for more than an hour.

LICENSED UNDER
NORMAL COPYRIGHT LICENSE


Now this story could be relaxing.
Last edited by Crazybloxian Empire on Tue Jul 17, 2018 6:11 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Sun Jul 15, 2018 8:28 am

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NIGHTMARE BECOMES A REALITY - CRAZYBLOXIAN EMPIRE IN COURT | STATE OF EMERGENCY DECLARED
”Treason” accusations strike the Empire; new region of residence must be picked ASAP; The North Pacific region a potential candidate as backup
[/align]Medfons 16

Life in the region of Force has been relaxing. The Kingdom of Sword BJ has filed a court case against the Empire. In response, the Crazybloxian Empire president has declared a state of emergency across the Empire.

The story has dominated the front pages of newspapers across Crazybloxian Empire, and the Emergency Council has prepared nukes in military bases, to hit Reigno in the nation of Renegalle.

The presidenr has also advised citizens to stay calm during the situation. Citizenship at Force has shaped the Empire’s way of life, although it could be threatened. The council has devised a plan of appealing against the court and to ██████ █████. The following text was redacted in the document, although the Emergency Council said it would be declassified by around March 2019, although remains redacted.

Critics widely criticized Sword BJ negatively for the court case, but the fight must go on. “This is treason times 500,000 against us, and we will ensure Sword BJ’s citizens are executed once and for all”, said the president as his opening statement at Crazybloxia.

Panic soon became widespread across the streets, and were able to overrun the police forces sent to contain the riots. Evidence was not able to be erased; and the Empire was banjected from Driselbia, although has also begun efforts to appeal.

Efforts have been put to the fullest effect by the President to be able to fight, and martial law was declared nationwide. 51,117 Renegalleans were blacklisted from entering the country within the first day of the declaration of martial law. The nation has completely silenced, trams stopped, absolute quiet was rampant across the Empire, for a brief 27-minute period as the nation was dominated by millions of people reciting prayers that the Empire would not be banjected from the Empire.


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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Sun Jul 15, 2018 7:20 pm

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NEW HOME FOR CRAZYBLOXIAN EMPIRE; HAPPY DAYS ARE BACK; SEEKING HELP FROM OTHER NATIONS TO REMOVE BAN
One RMB post forged the turning point of Crazybloxian Empire’s reputation amongst Force
[/align]July 16

With the Crazybloxian Empire found guilty of treason against Force, The Empire was banned from Force. Happy days are still in Crazybloxian Empire, as a new regional home had been found, TNP.

The president has “vowed revenge” against Renegalle for the banjection, although the Empire has seeked help from foreign nations to be unbanned from Force. The president said that “One word can change your life” at the ceremony held at 9AM in Farmington, located 58km away from Crazybloxia.

Spies will be sent into Force, and have been tasked with assasinating the President of Force, although experts say appeal could become successful by 2018-19. Critics have positively agreed.

The president has also called the banjection “an act of treason” against the Empire, and millions of Renegalleans have been ejected back to Renegalle in response, and 67,000 nukes were fired at Renegalle at approximately 3:17 am (Singapore time) as a last-minute damage action before the banjection occured at approximately 6am, and resulted in millions of deaths.

The state of emergency still remains until 5 August, although people said to us “never give up hope”.

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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Mon Jul 16, 2018 6:21 pm

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CRAZYBLOXIAN EMPIRE TIGHTENS RESTRICTIONS ON CAPITAL PUNISHMENT
Capital punishment can now only be used for people convicted of treason
July 16

The Law Passing Council has recently passed a law tightening restrictions on the use of capital punishment. Before the passing of the law, people convicted of murder, and “serious stealing” which is stealing more than 7 artifacts from museums, and robbing a diamond worth at least 185,000 could be sentenced to death.

The Empire has executed over 9.5 million people since capital punishment began in 1017 AD. Critics have called for the Empire’s government to abolish capital punishment since 1993 after 61 innocents were wrongly executed for “crime”. The case was reopened in 2005, revealing that the 61 people found guilty were innocent.

However the Empire possesses cryonics technology, and quickly put the 61 innocents back to life. The innocents were then administered class A amnestics, with their memories being uploaded into their brain.

Cryonics technology has been able to save over 825 innocent people who were executed wrongly. Capital punishment would now only be applicable for people who have comitted treason, or former presidents who comitted warcrimes, and the protocol before execution was tightened.

The new required protocol for execution could not be revealed, as it was classified, an officer told us. Revealing it was considered treason of the highest order, a Law Passint Council member also told to us. Both however declined to be named.

527 out of the 1858 people on death row have been disqualifed for execution since the protocol took effect at 12:00AM. Most of the death row inmates were instead given a party, and released unconditionally. Amongst some of the treats given were pizza, burgers, and the privileges awarded to them were 600,000SD monthly bonus, and immunity to the death penalty and prison sentences longer than 5 years. One of the prisoners said they were grateful.

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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Tue Jul 17, 2018 6:05 am

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”RHODESIANS NEVER DIE” HITS TOP 100 MOST FAVORITED
”Rhodesians Never Die” by Clem Tholet hits the top 100 most popular songs
July 17

"Rhodesians Never Die" by Clem Tholet has hit the top 100 charts after the Music Census Organization conducted surveys amongst Crazybloxians, and 195 million out of the 200 million Crazybloxians surveyed replied the song was their favorite, which caused it to gain a rating of 9.84 out of 10 under the Musical Overall Index, which combined hundreds of factors together.

The song was played at around 81,661 repeats a second, which was 7,055,510,400 repeats a second. The song was so popular that the song replaced the ambience in most areas, with announcements in public areas being more ignored than ever.

It has gained a national sensation as the nation's most played song, with major impact on Crazybloxian tourism. More tourists left, citing excess playing of the song as a reason. That answer was in the minds of 91% of the tourists.

"This song's constant playing has to be regulated ASAP" said the minister of Internal Affairs to our journalists when we approached their office. Most of them replied, but when it came to regulating it, the government urged phone companies to limit the number of times the song could be played. Enforcement mechanisms are gonna be put into place soon, according to our journalists.

The song's sound was so loud it could be audible at 50 decibels in a 670 meter radius from Empire borders.

Experts say that the average volume at which the song is played at could reach 70 dB by the end of the month. Solutions into how the noise could be regulated have been on for 6 years.

The most used technology currently is the "NoiseStop" machine, invented by Murgalo Losear 7 years ago (rp). The machine is currently patented under Crazybloxian patent law. The machine worked by sorting out sounds, editing the sound footage and playing the sound footage live into the ear. It has been sold over 300 million times since it's invention.
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Last edited by Crazybloxian Empire on Wed Jul 18, 2018 2:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Crazybloxian Empire » Wed Jul 18, 2018 3:50 am

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FOOD SALES SKYROCKET TO THE RICHES
Restaurants making much bigger profits; profits skyrocket, literally
July 18

More restaurants have set up camp in Crazybloxian Empire, with it’s growing population meaning more people willing to try food, and growing tourism, Restaurant profits have increased significantly.

Restaurants have become profitable according to sources. Restaurants have become so profitable that they have spammed most of the streets of Crazybloxian cities. It is so profitable there are 685 restaurants per square kilometer of land in the Crazybloxian Emprie, and there are around 78.6 million restaurants and counting.

Regulation is very strict, with the government’s focus to making money, tax for food is at 21% since the current government is focused on making money, and gaining profit.

Restaurant worker salaries have been steadily increasing as well, but remain the same. The revenue is increasing by 6% every year, with Sunniten one of the fastest-growing restaurant market.

The average restaurant makes 85SD a second, and 75,626 orders for food are made every minute. 65,129 orders are made every minute online, and over 958,227 pounds of pork, 757,725 pounds of beef, 682,227 pounds of chicken are used every month in the food industry.

Financial experts expect the restaurant industry to grow rapidly by the years, and new food technologies could potentially increase profits, they say, according to experts.

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