NationStates

There has been already a couple of threads of this sort - yet, they're almost as old as most of my jokes. So, here a new one.

You know you're Lillorainian when ...

• you already have trouble understanding someone from the next village.
• you don't see a contradiction between "one-party state" and "political pluralism".
• you think that 15°C is not too cold to have a beach party and go swimming in the ocean.
• mixing beer is a cardinal sin to you.
• foreigners describe your home country as "aggressively neutral".
• you know what the "national emergency plan" is before you learn basic arithmetics.
• your car is your castle.
• your people is "chill" and still efficient.
• you don't mind going over even the most curvy highway with an insane speed.

You know you’re Sicarisian when;

-your country is better than everyone else’s
-communism is bad
-you know the ins and outs of an assault rifle
-you praise the Autarch every day

You know you're Mzeusian when

You hate war or conflict of any kind
You care deeply about politics
You love the Mzeusian Library
You love Mzeusian tea
You have probably belonged to the Mzeusian Tea party at one point in your life. It is a joke party.
You pray to the Mzeusian Gods.

When you sit with your legs crossed Indian style on just about every chair
You eat with your right hand only
When you talk about politics you get passionate or angry
When your with you're buddies you talk for hours sometimes smoking some hookah or eating hummus and dates, while discussing how hot some girl is from your village
When you enjoy driving your car on its side as well as other car type activities
When you try real hard to look rich including buying tones of gold chains and other luxury items

You know your from the Democratic Union of United Communist of Africa when:

-You speak/read in half of the worlds major languages at age 6
-You know at least 5 people in the army
-You consider farming to be a core value
-Your teacher gets paid higher than the local government officals
-European countries hate your guts worse than the plague
-Everything in your house was made in Russia

You know your from The Nordic Wasteland of New Natsuloc when

You praise the lord and savior God Howard
you live in Bethesda
you pillage
you burn
you eat people
you Crucify the non belivers
you know how to handle weapons for war
you enslave in the name of God Howard
you and your entire family has been in some armed conflict as soldiers

You know you're a Carsonite when;

-Your "Father" goes to the store and never comes back
-You have to run against the national animal for student president elections
-You never know if a robot arm is going to impose martial law while Carson is sick
-Your leader drives around in a bar on wheels and argues with other people
-You don't break the law because you know you would end up like your "Father"
-Your leader's name is CARSon but you can't drive CARS
-Your leader is trying way to hard to get to 100% Income tax

- You'd been to seven countries before you reach 13 years old
- You're still waiting for this whole republic fad to blow over
- You obsess over the resident royal family more than Americans obsess over the Kardashians
- Beer is served at 20°C
- It's easier to get into an elite private school than get a divorce
- You believe markets are bad, but so is communism. You aren't too hot about being labeled a social democrat either
- Not getting publicly whipped is considered to be a "gay rights victory"

You know you're a Fatatatutian when...

- you don't even know anybody who owns a pair of shoes.
- your main source of income is stuff you find on the beach.
- you still send Christmas cars to a tourist who rode in your cab ten years ago.
- you sold your cab three years ago for more than it cost new.
- it was new in 1960.

You know you're a Vinlander when...

• Your idea of a traffic jam is four or five cars waiting to pass a semi truck on the highway.
• "Holiday" means going down to St. Jansted for the weekend.
• You measure driving distance in hours or days instead of kilometres.
• You know a few people who have struck a moose with their car more than once.
• Your classes were often cancelled because of the snow.
• You often switch from heat to air conditioning in the same day.
• You use a down quilt or wool blanket in the summer.
• You've driven at 100 kph through a snowstorm without flinching.
• Your social life consists of drinking, darts, cards, and fishing once you hit 30.
• People you know wear hunting clothes to social events. Let's not lie, you've probably done it yourself as well.
• You leave your house unlocked. Your neighbour from the next hilltop over has likely sauntered into your kitchen unannounced more than once. You probably offered them a beer or a coffee.
• There are 4 unmanned cars idling in the parking lot at the local convenience at any given time.
• Your idea of spices: salt, pepper, and malt vinegar.
• You never refer to it as Vinland and Markland unless you're from Markland.
• Driving is better in winter because the potholes are packed with snow.
• Your idea of sexy lingerie is flannel pajama pants and a tee shirt with a beer logo.
• The shed or the barn are perfectly acceptable places for grown men and women to drink and socialise.
• A trip to the liquor store takes 3 hours because you have to stop and talk to everyone you know.
• Your entire family is trilingual. You have a few cousins and probably a sibling or two that can't actually read.

You know you’re from Risen Prussia when

-You’re too much of a doormat to say anything offensive about enemy nations
-You pray everyday
-You’re thankful for the honesty when insulted
-You allude to taboo conversations
-Sports? What are those?
-You’re actually an enemy spy

*you thank the gods after every bathroom break

*you like milk, but hate cheese or vice versa

More to come later

You know you’re Subhurbian when...

- you try to figure out how vastly different characters can come together in one community.
- the concepts of colorism is alien to you.
- you just aren’t inclined to affiliate yourself with just one organized religion. You may affiliate with two or more faiths, or no faith at all. In some cases you may even be attracted to voodoo, or magic.
- you can accurately translate ancient texts.
- You would feel very indifferent or apathetic to most social issues that happen in real life countries.
- You're used to seeing alchemical transmutations; it seems like regular technology in your eyes.
- There are people who look like you, but you can’t relate to them in hardly any way due to vastly different behaviors, beliefs, and histories.
- People are unfamiliar with your native language.
- If you’re Central Subhurbian, you believe your people are the true Subhurbian people.
- When rain, snow, high speed winds, or other natural occurrences happen, you naturally think a higher being is behind this.
- You identify more with your region than your entire country.
- You're diet is largely plant based. The idea of eating meat disgusts you.
- You take salt baths at least once a week.
- People often mistaken your origin country as a continent.
- You celebrate New Years on the first day of spring, not on January 1st.

You know you're Anarchist when...

-You advocate for 'freedom' from 'oppressive' governments
-You have no idea what you're doing
-Believe anarchy is an actual, working form of government
-Believe anarchy makes people more free than actually having a government

You know you're North Curbstompian when

-Going outside causes your life expectency to plummet.
-Even amongst ruins full of things that can kill you, you still take time for tea.
-Your pelvis has been reinforced with metal implants after your wife broke it.
-You can get away with murder because you cousin's buddy works for a Megacorp's HR department and can call off the corporate police.
-You have trouble deciding between the laser cannon or a regular 150mm cannon for your hunting tank.
-You keep getting your body hacked by that perverted NEET of an AI.
-You and your buddies got drink, crashed an IFV into a storefront, and got away with it by having more cash to bribe the judge than the shopkeeper.
-You messed up Tea Time pretty badly once and got a lashing.
-It's a good day when the fallout in the city you're scavenging isn't that high.
-Your neighbor got black bagged by the Inquisition for saying the God Emperor had shit taste.
-Going to war or annexing a country is like taking a vacation.
-You have top-tier vanilla h-doujins.
-You keep tripping over your ever increasing pile of guns.
-You start to enjoy living underground.
-You're never quite sure whether the chimeras out in the wastes want to kill you or rape you and become your new wife.

You know your from Huntpublic when:
- You go back for seconds on mac 'n cheese . . .

Yeah, that's about it.

You know your from the Litan Imperium when you have a miniature Litan flag in your car and wallet

You know you're Amenrian when...

• You look better than citizens of other nations, whether through the witchcraft of cosmetics, magical Korean surgeries, or purely wonderful Asian genes
• You heart and soul is pure and kind
• You have a heroic side you always love to show
• You understand that royals always know better
• You realize capitalism is the Devil's work
• You know at least two ways to kill a villain
• You are religious but against fundamentalism
• You know there's just no point in conflicts between Muslims and Christians
• You either are or have been in love with a vampire
• You like to give free hugs to random cats you see
• You'd rather accept aliens, orcs, merfolk and minotaurs than gays, Jews, and atheists
• You'd probably punch a person in the face if they harshly criticize the government, despite your usual peacefulness

You know you're Irouño when...
You have depression
You can't go to the zoo
There is a possibility of getting kidnapped by tribesmen
You have 11 guns
You live on a farm with 500 other people
Drones follow you around in the cities

You know when you’re Exodian when...

• You know an extensive history of the obscure nation you came from, including wars borderlining fantasy and notable figures with storybook backstories that no non-Exodian has ever really studied or heard about.
• You share a deep-seated animosity for all types of oppressive authoritarianism, from communism to monarchism.
• You’re just slightly more attractive based on average, owing to a highly multiracial and multiethnic background (you’re probably part-British, part-Southeast Asian, and part-African and you look hella great).
• You open-carry a 9-millimeter fully-automatic machine pistol and a large pocketknife as par with daily routine- sometimes a .44 double-action revolver if you’re feeling particularly stylish.
• You consider yourself quite more tough or masculine than people form other nations, despite drinking tea instead of coffee.
• You realize that business and a free market was created and is used for good intentions, and that capitalism has saved many more worker’s lives than it has left behind.
• You acknowledge that almost all political ideologies were created in the name of good, and that most of the time, the inventors of all those involving a massive government have already failed horribly.
• Your computer’s profile picture is that of a slice of deep fried emoji boneless pizza.
• You can’t decide between various types of beer, sake, rum, tequila, whiskey, or vodka on the night you want to get drunk, and decide to just mix 3 or more and see what happens.
• You start hearing Eurobeat when the light turns green.
• You laugh at foreign businessmen and overseas workers when they realize that the Industrial Sector they’re currently standing on is built right above the rushing waters of the Gulf of Mexico.
• You give a highly rude and sarcastic response when someone from another country asks how a small island-archipelago settled around 20 or so years ago has one of the largest economies in the world stage.
• You like heavy metal, J-pop, gangsta rap, and teen pop just for the memes.
• You have long debates with your friends over what branch of the military one should go for when conscription rolls along.
• Alam mo mucho fremdsprache- Слишком много, 事实上。(You know a lot of foreign languages- too much, in fact.)
• You blame the Traditional Party for isolationist protectionism, or the Progressive Party for useless subsidies- and if you’re not affiliated with either, you’re doubled over laughing.
• You can’t tell if you’re a neoconservative or a libertarian.
• You either run a corporation, work for a corporation, or think “screw the corporations” -and decide to start building your own.
• You’re either a God-fearing Roman Catholic, Anglican, or an Israeli Jew that likes it here.
• You fix your tie or some sort of clothing clip excessively during formal events.
• You acknowledge Kekistan as a nation and a people, and want to #free them.
• You're not a normie.
• You have a sort of constant, righteous spirit that makes you want to stand up for yourself and any harshly-treated people in need, resulting in an interventionist view on foreign policy and an fast draw hand.
• You’re not afraid and plenty proud to say “the government is doing terribly, in all honesty, f**k ‘em”- and people might even agree with you.

You know you are Vallermoorian when...

-you have a large collection of guns, swords and knives, all of them legally owned.
-you find fireworks great fun on the High Holidays and a nuisance at other times
-you are a strong supporter of the death penalty for murder and one or two other crimes
-you smack your children but only if they are really naughty
-you think the lower jobs should be dome by immigrants, blacks, criminals, and the few who like doing said jobs.
-you fear the Victorious Decepticons
-if you are a woman, your pay is normally half that of a male unless you own the business
-you like sapient ponies

You know you are a Partizani when,

- You decide your Government isn't fascist enough
- What more do you need to be a Partizani?

.

You know you're Sadakhan when:

- You don't know if anyone in your family is biologically related to you
- You've had more vaccinations than you've seen sunny days.
- You've never seen real snow outside a lab
- You've never seen a car
- You never seen a police officer
- You've never had a pet, but you've seen a wild apex predator on your elementary school campus.
- Someone died on you first school field trip.
- You learned to shoot before you learned to ride a bike.
- Your first word was "F*ck"
- You have a hard time sleeping if you can't hear fifteen other people breathing in the same room.

You know you're a Luminumbran when

--You feel nude when not wearing a mask.

--You see the colors before shapes.

--You're more comfortable fasting and praying than you are eating and sleeping.

--Pain makes you feel right with the universe.

--You look at a masochist and say "Yeah, I want to be like that guy!"