General Valentijn Maxwell Constantine - Q&A

[Valentine Z]

From a simple everyday guy, to joining the army, to becoming a General after stupidly bashing through the front lines (multiple times), to being hit in the head by a nuke, General Valentijn Maxwell "De Sierlijk Valkyrie" Angelus Delta Weston Samantha Tracer Constantine has seen it all, experienced it all, but still has multiple screws loose in his head. Despite all this, he's been seen as a rather gentle figure, and even a pushover. He has stopped growing and ultimately reaching 5000 cm, so thank goodness that he won't dwarf the world.

He's having quite a great day today (as usual), so this time, he decided to organise a session where the people (no matter who) across the world can ask him questions about his life.

So... ask away!

OOC/Disclaimer: Just want to give credit to the people that started this idea before me. Q&As are obviously not my original idea.

[Valentine Z]

Bump a little.

[Cuprum]

Does he support polygamy?

[Kyoki Chudoku]

From: Aozora Chiyumi, Supreme Overlady of All Reality

---

So, I have a couple of questions for you I guess since I've got nothing better to do. Firstly, how do you even fit through doorways? Seriously, do they need special extra-large doors for it or something? Also, Naosu is curious as to how your internal organs can keep up with your increased size. Finally, when you fart, do people need to evacuate the room in order to avoid being gassed to death? Oh yeah, speaking of waste, where do you...you know, desposit it, considering you're so big and all.

[Valentine Z]

OOC: Sorry it took a while... Anyway, here goes!

Does he support polygamy?

Hmm, I don’t see why not. It seems a little socially awkward for the people involved, and there might be times where your 57th spouse is jealous of your 41st. I find it weird, but I don’t ban it in my nation. So, in Valentine Z, you can have as many husbands or wives as you want.

- General Valentijn Maxwell "De Sierlijke Valkyrie" Angelus Delta Weston Samantha Tracer Constantine

From: Aozora Chiyumi, Supreme Overlady of All Reality

---

So, I have a couple of questions for you I guess since I've got nothing better to do. Firstly, how do you even fit through doorways? Seriously, do they need special extra-large doors for it or something? Also, Naosu is curious as to how your internal organs can keep up with your increased size. Finally, when you fart, do people need to evacuate the room in order to avoid being gassed to death? Oh yeah, speaking of waste, where do you...you know, desposit it, considering you're so big and all.

Ahh, gladly! It’s these little tidbits that I don’t mind explaining to people. Well, firstly? My radiation is… science-fiction, in some sense. The laws of thermodynamics seem to have taken a backseat, because I am never running out of gamma radiation that emanates from my body. It’s this very radiation that gives me immortality ad regenerative abilities. I *can* get killed, but I will come back to life and whatnot.

Anyway, well, contrary to what I said in the banquet a few weeks back, it was not the matter – anti-matter annihilation device that shrunk me down; we thought about it, and tested it, and damn it hurt like hell. It felt like 2000 bees stinging you in any one time. Anyway, Surveillant Clarissa figured that I be shrunk down by having the atoms compressed. As in, I became more dense, literally, and it was successful as far as we are concerned. I got shrunk down to a mere 10 feet, give or take. However, due to the strain of keeping the atoms together, the machine only worked for 9 days before it needs a recharge. At that time, I will have to move away from anyone around me and find myself a grass field.

As for the question on… fluctuance, it is non-existent. You see, like 98% of the Valentians, we have teleporting devices installed at the end of our large intestines. So that means that all the waste products from our bodies will be conveniently transported to the sewers. For obvious reasons, the teleporting devices are one-way, that is, it cannot go from the sewer to our stomach.

Lastly, for the square-cube law… again, it doesn’t seem to work with me. I am as agile as I used to be, so I used to be able to sprint at 8 m/s (28,8 kph) when I was smaller. Now, imagine my surprise when I found out that I could sprint at speeds up to 149 m/s (~ 535 kph). I tend to get tired a lot faster though, so I could only sprint for 13 seconds before I ran out of breath.

Once again, thank you for your questions, and I really appreciate it!

- General Valentijn Maxwell "De Sierlijke Valkyrie" Angelus Delta Weston Samantha Tracer Constantine

[United Republic of Lepala]

Why do you have so many names?

[Valentine Z]

Why do you have so many names?

We Valentians are proud of our long names! Well, on a more serious note, the thing is, because I find quite a lot of names that I find it appealing to me, and this might sound rather strange, but there's just something about long names that have the same length and are more or less aligned with one another. Take a few of these names, for example:

Surveillant Clarissa Alanis Star Breya Anna Millie Taissa Butterfly Coraline Jolijn Clementine Harumi
Foresittend Marcus Alan Arielian Maximillian Swifty Felix Prometheus Linx Haydn Reynolds
Vice Foresittend Jolyn Maxine Caulfield Marlene Wendy Lucille Jill Vasilisa Helen Ceeta
Head Secretary Mandy Izabella Jamie Lena Marie Valerie Ruby Æstriðr Millicent Eirian
Premier Ministre Kendrick Elliott Quinton Matthew Demetrius Jovita Erick Andres
Vice Premier Ministre Markus Tom Lincoln Schillinger Lewis Geoff Julius Wyatt
Chief Senator Shannon Gwendolyn Annette Tammie Elizabeth Jennifier Wanda
Intelligence Officer Jenny Claudia Joy Lena Linette Whitney Hoshiko Radiance
Lead Ambassador Germaine Madison Angelina Zoe Alanna Hailie Constance
Head Diplomat Charlene Jeannie Natalia Adeline Marceline Christine Irelle
Head Engineer Tiffany Violet Sunshine Alessandra Audrey Mariel Smiley
Chief Aviator Gwen Ellen Trixie Foxworthy Avril Allison Leslie Hepburn

Whew, that's a mouthful! Granted, it's difficult for them to write their names fully on cheques, bank accounts and what not, but if they need to shorten it, they just use their first name, plus any part of their names. Of course, there's a limit, with mine and Clarissa's being the longest for now. Anything longer will become senseless and meaningless.

- General Valentijn Maxwell "De Sierlijke Valkyrie" Angelus Delta Weston Samantha Tracer Constantine