Merala to halt exports of avocado
Bourgeois fetishism of the fruit causes outrage in Merala
Antonio Gallardo (
@ToniGallardo)
May 16, 2020|Anochtepec, Merala"I do not pick avocado so that some rich city shmuck in a Nox Mynus penthouse can make a breakfast for his social media whilst several of his countrymen are forced to eat bat soup", said avocado farmer Fernando González on an mass strike in front of the Ministry of Agriculture, demanding the halting of avocado exports to ABC and KP countries. This strike paralysed much of the agricultural sector and is believed to have caused an reduction in agricultural outputs for the year.
The movement originally started as various written requests and signature gatherings to the Councils of Good Municipal Governance throughout rural Merala, eventually reaching the state councils and the National Assembly of Good Governance. This requests were ignored however, believed to be a fake campaign started by social media influencers. This requests turned up very much real once the National Union of Avocado Farming separated itself from the National Confederation of Unions and called for a mass strike last month.
The outrage is caused by a trend in ABC and KP countries revolving around the avocado toast, a popular dish among the bourgeoisie and the petite bourgeoisie of those countries, which drove up demands for Meralan avocado and the prices in those countries, making it a dish exclusive to top earners and capitalists.
"Whilst we open to trade with most countries, we were not expecting the quite literal fruits of Meralan labour to cause quite a ruckus in the countries they would end up", said Marcelo Jiménez the Minister of the Economy, "but this strike has certainly set back the current Five Year Plan".
This prompted an emergency meeting of both houses of the National Assembly of Good Governance, both the Chamber of Popular Governance and the Chamber of State Governance. Chairman Séptimo de la Fuente of the Council of Ministers signed in an emergency decree declaring a halt on avocado exports to the countries that are a source of the outrage.
"I suppose that with this, the bourgeoisie in those countries will have to find something else to post on social media and stop their McFritz's binges" said Chairman de la Fuente, accompanied by Minister of Agriculture Mateo Torrealba when he presented the signed decree today in front of the protesters.
Following this, the National Union of Avocado Farming has requested readmission into the National Confederation of Unions and has called an end to the strike.