San Theodora Proclamation of Existence

[San Theodora]

Good day, puppets and puppeteers, fascists and socialists, zionists and bombs-with-legs.

It is an honour, for you, to be in the presence of El Presidente, Generalissimo Tapioca, commander and supreme, unquestioned ruler of the Great nation of San Theodora.

We hereby proclaim that San Theodora exists, and as such, proclaim our foreign and internal policies:

Foreign Affairs:
San Theodora does not believe in the following values, and shall not endorse them.
i) Peace
ii) Democracy
iii) Socialism
iv) Fascism
v) The west.

San Theodora is open to foreign trade and MNC's, however they must abide by strict regulations:
i) They must have at least 1 San Theodoran flag per 100m sq of land
ii) They must have on portrait of his excellency, El Presidente, Generalissimo Tapioca and his family in each building
iii) Workers must sing the anthem every day
iv) Items such as, but not limited to, American flags, foreign newspapers/radio's, foreign books, foreign money and anything related to enemies of the state may not be imported

San Theodora's military is purely *giggles* defensive *snorts* and does not *bursts our laughing* contain *giggles more* any nuclear weapons (there, I said it). It will only be used in the following circumstances:
i) To defend from invasion
ii) To aid an ally
iii) To put down internal riots/protests

Internal Policies
The Following events are banned in San Theodora:
i) Elections
ii) Non-state parades
iii) *chortles* bribery ("Ok, I'll take that one of for 100 Tapiocents")

The Following people are banned in San Theodora
i) Democrats
ii) Fascists
iii) Socialists/Communists
iv) Homosexuals
v) Americans
vi) Rebels
vii) Jeremy Corbyn

So there you have it, puny citizens of earth. The great Tapioca shall crush you and your 'elections' 'peace' and 'defensive military'

[Devernia]

Foreign Affairs:
San Theodora does not believe in the following values, and shall not endorse them.
i) Peace

"...are you mentally insane?"

-Unknown politician

[South Shellfort]

Someone wants to be annexed.

[Indochinese Federation]

Alright, so several things I've already disobeyed...lets see what's done with it

[Thermodolia]

"Well it looks like it's time to test the new weaponry"

- a high ranking general

[San Theodora]

Puny infidels of the west attempting to make themselves seem strong against the might of the San Theodoran People's Army!

I will not let the evil forces of democracy enter my beloved San Theodora!

[Pherdistan]

Hello, and welcome to Radio Travailleur!, your premiere radio show for the working class! Today, in our section the fight against the capitalist menace, we look at yet another country determined to f*ck self into oblivion, much like the Roman Empire of yore!

Good day, puppets and puppeteers, fascists and socialists, zionists and bombs-with-legs.

So we have someone who is not fascist, not socialist, not Jewish, and not a walking bomb. This narrows it down to roughly... two-thirds of the multiverse? Three quarters? Again, the capitalist degenerates are more defined by what they oppose than what they support, and are doomed to fall into blithering incoherence if asked what they stand for.

It is an honour, for you, to be in the presence of El Presidente, Generalissimo Tapioca, commander and supreme, unquestioned ruler of the Great nation of San Theodora.

I'm supposed to be honored by a guy named after a type of rice pudding? One that we sell cheaply and affordably? Who's deputy? Senate President and Captain-General Figgy?

We hereby proclaim that San Theodora exists,

As is obvious.

and as such, proclaim our foreign and internal policies:

Foreign Affairs:
San Theodora does not believe in the following values, and shall not endorse them.
i) Peace
ii) Democracy
iii) Socialism
iv) Fascism
v) The west.

Again, what exactly does San Theodora represent? They've refuted everything except communism and feudalism, which are two vastly different systems. However, given the fact that beast-minded capitalists can't seem to make a distinction between the two, we must assume that San Theodora is somewhat based on feudal Asia, meaning a relatively prosperous but doomed land, by modern standards.

San Theodora is open to foreign trade and MNC's, however they must abide by strict regulations:
i) They must have at least 1 San Theodoran flag per 100m sq of land
ii) They must have on portrait of his excellency, El Presidente, Generalissimo Tapioca and his family in each building
iii) Workers must sing the anthem every day
iv) Items such as, but not limited to, American flags, foreign newspapers/radio's, foreign books, foreign money and anything related to enemies of the state may not be imported

Hm... I do wonder whether this is a patriotic regime? At any rate, a workers revolution will be easily effected by the availability of flagpoles to thwack government thugs attempting to suppress their inalienable sentient rights.

San Theodora's military is purely *giggles* defensive *snorts* and does not *bursts our laughing* contain *giggles more* any nuclear weapons (there, I said it). It will only be used in the following circumstances:
i) To defend from invasion
ii) To aid an ally
iii) To put down internal riots/protests

How a nation of several million managed to acquire, much less create more than 1 nuclear weapon is beyond the understanding of this broadcaster. Needless to say, their liberal policy on its use in most situations that not even the multiverse's superpowers would dare deploy them in will doubtless see their nation quickly eradicated from the world map, if effectuated in any way.

Internal Policies
The Following events are banned in San Theodora:
i) Elections
ii) Non-state parades
iii) *chortles* bribery ("Ok, I'll take that one of for 100 Tapiocents")

Ah, and so we expose the lying capitalists for what they are! Determined to cheat and swindle for the next nickel! This station does, as such, ask how much money would be required to buy off the army and leadership, replacing it with a new government of our choice.

The Following people are banned in San Theodora
i) Democrats
ii) Fascists
iii) Socialists/Communists
iv) Homosexuals
v) Americans
vi) Rebels
vii) Jeremy Corbyn

While most of these go as a matter of course, why a nation would outright ban a soveriegn nation, one individual, and a foreign political party is arbitrary, to say the least.

So there you have it, puny citizens of earth. The great Tapioca shall crush you and your 'elections' 'peace' and 'defensive military'

With a population of 5 million, and army far smaller? We doubt even the great General Blancmange could succeed in such a quest!

Finally, they have since provided a reply, which we will publish here.

Puny infidels of the west attempting to make themselves seem strong against the might of the San Theodoran People's Army!

I will not let the evil forces of democracy enter my beloved San Theodora!

Why, despite your opposition to populism and democracy in all forms, you name yours the "People's Army" is truly beyond the comprehension of this communist. You may try, but your miserable army and its pudding-based generals will not stop the inevitable march of socialism across the multiverse! Workers of the world, unite!

In addition, this station has been authorized to announce that the Left Coalition will tomorrow bring a vote to the Federation Parliament, proposing a declaration of war and invasion of San Theodora, the first such declaration since the founding of the modern Ferdistani state. May Allah, and the workers, be with us all!

[Blakullar]

"I will indeed be honoured to be in the presence of Generalissimo Tapioca, now that I have decided upon cassava cheese buns for lunch. I shall even allow you to choose your new wife: Circassian, or Bryndza!"

~ General Elena Trotskaya.

[San Theodora]

Hello, and welcome to Radio Travailleur!, your premiere radio show for the working class! Today, in our section the fight against the capitalist menace, we look at yet another country determined to f*ck self into oblivion, much like the Roman Empire of yore!

Good day, puppets and puppeteers, fascists and socialists, zionists and bombs-with-legs.

So we have someone who is not fascist, not socialist, not Jewish, and not a walking bomb. This narrows it down to roughly... two-thirds of the multiverse? Three quarters? Again, the capitalist degenerates are more defined by what they oppose than what they support, and are doomed to fall into blithering incoherence if asked what they stand for.

It is an honour, for you, to be in the presence of El Presidente, Generalissimo Tapioca, commander and supreme, unquestioned ruler of the Great nation of San Theodora.

I'm supposed to be honored by a guy named after a type of rice pudding? One that we sell cheaply and affordably? Who's deputy? Senate President and Captain-General Figgy?

We hereby proclaim that San Theodora exists,

As is obvious.

and as such, proclaim our foreign and internal policies:

Foreign Affairs:
San Theodora does not believe in the following values, and shall not endorse them.
i) Peace
ii) Democracy
iii) Socialism
iv) Fascism
v) The west.

Again, what exactly does San Theodora represent? They've refuted everything except communism and feudalism, which are two vastly different systems. However, given the fact that beast-minded capitalists can't seem to make a distinction between the two, we must assume that San Theodora is somewhat based on feudal Asia, meaning a relatively prosperous but doomed land, by modern standards.

San Theodora is open to foreign trade and MNC's, however they must abide by strict regulations:
i) They must have at least 1 San Theodoran flag per 100m sq of land
ii) They must have on portrait of his excellency, El Presidente, Generalissimo Tapioca and his family in each building
iii) Workers must sing the anthem every day
iv) Items such as, but not limited to, American flags, foreign newspapers/radio's, foreign books, foreign money and anything related to enemies of the state may not be imported

Hm... I do wonder whether this is a patriotic regime? At any rate, a workers revolution will be easily effected by the availability of flagpoles to thwack government thugs attempting to suppress their inalienable sentient rights.

San Theodora's military is purely *giggles* defensive *snorts* and does not *bursts our laughing* contain *giggles more* any nuclear weapons (there, I said it). It will only be used in the following circumstances:
i) To defend from invasion
ii) To aid an ally
iii) To put down internal riots/protests

How a nation of several million managed to acquire, much less create more than 1 nuclear weapon is beyond the understanding of this broadcaster. Needless to say, their liberal policy on its use in most situations that not even the multiverse's superpowers would dare deploy them in will doubtless see their nation quickly eradicated from the world map, if effectuated in any way.

Internal Policies
The Following events are banned in San Theodora:
i) Elections
ii) Non-state parades
iii) *chortles* bribery ("Ok, I'll take that one of for 100 Tapiocents")

Ah, and so we expose the lying capitalists for what they are! Determined to cheat and swindle for the next nickel! This station does, as such, ask how much money would be required to buy off the army and leadership, replacing it with a new government of our choice.

The Following people are banned in San Theodora
i) Democrats
ii) Fascists
iii) Socialists/Communists
iv) Homosexuals
v) Americans
vi) Rebels
vii) Jeremy Corbyn

While most of these go as a matter of course, why a nation would outright ban a soveriegn nation, one individual, and a foreign political party is arbitrary, to say the least.

So there you have it, puny citizens of earth. The great Tapioca shall crush you and your 'elections' 'peace' and 'defensive military'

With a population of 5 million, and army far smaller? We doubt even the great General Blancmange could succeed in such a quest!

Finally, they have since provided a reply, which we will publish here.

Puny infidels of the west attempting to make themselves seem strong against the might of the San Theodoran People's Army!

I will not let the evil forces of democracy enter my beloved San Theodora!

Why, despite your opposition to populism and democracy in all forms, you name yours the "People's Army" is truly beyond the comprehension of this communist. You may try, but your miserable army and its pudding-based generals will not stop the inevitable march of socialism across the multiverse! Workers of the world, unite!

In addition, this station has been authorized to announce that the Left Coalition will tomorrow bring a vote to the Federation Parliament, proposing a declaration of war and invasion of San Theodora, the first such declaration since the founding of the modern Ferdistani state. May Allah, and the workers, be with us all!

Aha, you make me laugh, puny infidel.

I've seen many socialist idiots try and push such jokes as 'civil rights' and 'workers rights' upon us, but San Theodora will never surrender!

[Ru-]

We have found your declaration amusing, and in the name of His Supreme Royal Worship, King Yoshio I Rel, the Empire of Ru officially recognizes the nation of San Theodora.

We do hope that our ideological and policy differences will not interfere with peaceful cooperation between our nations.

[Purpelia]

The official stance of the Purpelian government is "Eh, whatever." As long as you don't bother us or our citizens you can do and believe what ever you want. And as long as you don't meddle into the internal affairs of other nations we'll even protect your right to do it. Sovereignty being divine and all that.

[Devernia]

The official stance of the Purpelian government is "Eh, whatever." As long as you don't bother us or our citizens you can do and believe what ever you want. And as long as you don't meddle into the internal affairs of other nations we'll even protect your right to do it. Sovereignty being divine and all that.

We officially take this stance.

However, according to the statements made by San Theodora, they are somehow against peace.

[Yugoslav Memes]

The official stance of the Purpelian government is "Eh, whatever." As long as you don't bother us or our citizens you can do and believe what ever you want. And as long as you don't meddle into the internal affairs of other nations we'll even protect your right to do it. Sovereignty being divine and all that.

Cvecagrad concurs before the Hex drinks some more bleach.

[San Theodora]

The official stance of the Purpelian government is "Eh, whatever." As long as you don't bother us or our citizens you can do and believe what ever you want. And as long as you don't meddle into the internal affairs of other nations we'll even protect your right to do it. Sovereignty being divine and all that.

We officially take this stance.

However, according to the statements made by San Theodora, they are somehow against peace.

We are against peace as in 'surrender'.
Sorry, english is not my first language, i mis-defined it.

[The Intergalactic Universe Corporation]

Good day, puppets and puppeteers, fascists and socialists, zionists and bombs-with-legs.

It is an honour, for you, to be in the presence of El Presidente, Generalissimo Tapioca, commander and supreme, unquestioned ruler of the Great nation of San Theodora.

We hereby proclaim that San Theodora exists, and as such, proclaim our foreign and internal policies:

Foreign Affairs:
San Theodora does not believe in the following values, and shall not endorse them.
i) Peace
ii) Democracy
iii) Socialism
iv) Fascism
v) The west.

San Theodora is open to foreign trade and MNC's, however they must abide by strict regulations:
i) They must have at least 1 San Theodoran flag per 100m sq of land
ii) They must have on portrait of his excellency, El Presidente, Generalissimo Tapioca and his family in each building
iii) Workers must sing the anthem every day
iv) Items such as, but not limited to, American flags, foreign newspapers/radio's, foreign books, foreign money and anything related to enemies of the state may not be imported

San Theodora's military is purely *giggles* defensive *snorts* and does not *bursts our laughing* contain *giggles more* any nuclear weapons (there, I said it). It will only be used in the following circumstances:
i) To defend from invasion
ii) To aid an ally
iii) To put down internal riots/protests

Internal Policies
The Following events are banned in San Theodora:
i) Elections
ii) Non-state parades
iii) *chortles* bribery ("Ok, I'll take that one of for 100 Tapiocents")

The Following people are banned in San Theodora
i) Democrats
ii) Fascists
iii) Socialists/Communists
iv) Homosexuals
v) Americans
vi) Rebels
vii) Jeremy Corbyn

So there you have it, puny citizens of earth. The great Tapioca shall crush you and your 'elections' 'peace' and 'defensive military'

Ouch. That is hard for ANY business or person to get around. You are absolutely out of your mind... Oh wait, you don't have one.
-CEO Harry Tan

[Gerhalt]

That's nice... We guess? The Republic finds it difficult to care so long as San Theodora does not violate the internal workings of other more legitimate states.

[Devernia]

We officially take this stance.

However, according to the statements made by San Theodora, they are somehow against peace.

We are against peace as in 'surrender'.
Sorry, english is not my first language, i mis-defined it.

I see, but my point still stands.

[Grand Britannia]

"Your disdain for mob rule and marxism is admirable.

Your hate of all the west is not acceptable.

We would be happy if you changed the latter, for your benefit, at least. We wouldn't want a misunderstanding to force some re-education."

- Senator Niall Griffin

[San Theodora]

"Your disdain for mob rule and marxism is admirable.

Your hate of all the west is not acceptable.

We would be happy if you changed the latter, for your benefit, at least. We wouldn't want a misunderstanding to force some re-education."

- Senator Niall Griffin

We would certainly be able to negotiate our stance on the west.

[Diarcesia]

The Monarchy Diarcesian recognizes the existence of San Theodora. Although it senses its Government's disinterest in trade and economic partnerships.