North Arkana wrote:Allanea wrote:Part-time soldiers aren't meant to be fully competent and that's okay....Sometimes people – both livejournal hamsters and experienced people say one and the same thing: “If someone attacks or country, we're fucked. Nobody will defend our country, the Army is screwed, we will just wait for people to come and slaughter us.” I am so fucking tired of this shit, I decided to explain.
Dear friend. Let me explain what will actually happen.
Imagine war has started. NATO struck first. Partly with nuclear weapons, but mostly with conventionals. Our Army has tried something, it didn't work, the enemy tanks are crossing the border, the main line units are crushed and routed, and are fleeing East with minimal resistance. The Abrams tanks are moving towards Moscow.
This is where the beliefs of the LJ Hamsters differ from reality. Here's what would happen when the right people would realize what is going on.
Someone will knock on your door.
Open it and you will see a hungover cop, an even more hungover police lieutenant, and a pair of soldiers. They will give you a notice. It will say you are ordered by the Commander in Chief to report to service. You must collect your stuff now and leave now, or you will be arrested.
You will understand they outnumber you. They are stronger. You will grab some clothes and a supply of socks and leave. In the yard you will see a bus, old and dirty. Maybe two. In the buses you will see your neighbors. The same people you see every day walking to your Toyota Corola. You will be taken to a training center. They are not called that today, but they can be rebuilt. Of course, there won't be glass in the windows, you will use the mattress for a blanket, but that's okay. You won't die of it.
They'll teach you quickly. You'll dig a dozen trenches. You'll shoot a few hundred AK rounds, stab a dried-out scarecrow with your bayonet. Throw fake grenades a dozen times. Once you will run across a field, shooting blank rounds as you run, as firecrackers explode everywhere. Yo will do the same at night, with illumination rockets glowing overhead. You will not understand quite what you're doing. There'll be a few guys there that'll shoot a dozen or two rounds from grenade launchers. That won't be you.
Then you will be sent to war.
You will meet others who learned to shoot cannon taken from storage. One of these cannon will be stamped '1956'. There will be others – they will have confiscated civilian KAMAZ and ZIL trucks, hastily painted olive green. There will be senior commanders, professionals, and they will look at you with fear and pity in their eyes.
There will be soldiers that started to serve for real – and you will ask them everything you can think of , understanding instinctively that what you know is not enough to survive.
You will have a scratched-up steel helmet – not like the one you saw on TV before the war. You will have no flak jacket. There won't be enough. You will have jackboots, not modern boots. But you'll be lucky not to be wearing a Soviet uniform. Some will wear trench-coats and even older stuff.
On the last day a grim, grey-hared general with a big fat belly will come. He will give your commander a banner and will say that you – all of you together- are the 105th Mechanized Infantry Brigade. Bear this name with pride, he will say. He hopes you will do your duty.
The regular army – with real tanks, real soldiers, kevlar helmets and shoes, is dead. You are all that is left.
In the morning you will be given anti-tank weapons. The lucky ones will be given single-use RPGs. You'll get old, heavy AT grenades. Two of them. The system administrator who will be after you on the list will not even have an AK, only an SKS carbine. And he won't be alone like that.
Then you will take your confiscated trucks, tow the elderly cannon, and begin to deployed.
The other units will get bombed. You will see burning trucks and corpses. But you will deploy and entrench. You will be given vodka and you will take turns drinking the horrible, smelly drink from the bottle because they will have forgotten the cups.
And then your pathetic force will fight against hordes of hight-tech tanks, robos, helicopters and planes. Hell itself will be opened around you, and just before the first explosion in your trenches you will understand, with horror, just how stronger the enemy is.
And then they will assault, ad you will try to stop them with your assault rifle and two hand-grenades. And the sisadmin – with his carbine and one grenade. And you'll think the world has ended.
But you know what?
You will stop them. Yes. You will. Then you will stop them elsewhere. Then they will start running, and you will place our flag on the ruins of their capital.
And if you die the sysadmin will. If he dies too, it will be the faggy-looking dude that sells cellphones in the store in front of your house. Or the waste-of-flesh shitbag you beat up for urinating in your appartment building staircase. Someone will do it.
Because they need to be stopped. Because if they are not stopped, the universe will be covered in darkness, and humanity will end. Everything will end.
Remember: they have always been stopped. Even though they've always been stronger. And this time the honor belongs to you, little hamster.
Because there's nobody else who can.
Good luck.
... That sounds like Putin's wet dream.
Millions of people in Russia masturbate to a version of this.









