Adopt a Blobfish!

by **Schwarden** » Tue Apr 19, 2016 3:28 pm

Unpredictable Galaxy wrote:
The Imperium Empires wrote:Can they be turned into suicide bombs

"We're... okay not doing business. Psst, Animal Resources guy, is this who-can't-be-named?" -Dictator Vegemite LV

"Yes, however don't say it so loudly, he might hear us..." -Leading Constituent of Animal Resources

Olwe wrote:We can teleport them in. We just didn't want to do it without your permission. - Minister Of Nature Freyalise Gunnarson

"Then by all means, whisk them away! Just sign here, here, here, and here, tattoo my name under your ear, and I'll need a sample of your hair for recreational purposes." -Dictator Vegemite LV

Rodrania wrote:Can these "Blobfishes" be used as weapons of mass-destruction against the western pig-dog menace?

"Ahahahahah! How amusing. Yes, they can! We shoot them out of air cannons all the time and I've personally sent two people to the hospital for Blobfish related impacts. It's a common tradition in our society, and the air cannons and impact don't hurt them one bit. Sure, I may have taped a switchblade to one and it may have stabbed a guy in the arm, but that's just the price of entertainment." -Dictator Vegemite LV

"Do they by any chance excrete any radioactive and possibly lethal material? Maybe be used as bio-weapons? We are just asking out of curiosity, of course! Not like we'd like to buy some!" - King Robert I

by **Danceria** » Tue Apr 19, 2016 3:33 pm

The Thane raised his eyebrow and sighed "To be frank, they're butt-jizzing ugly. Their looks alone are weapons of mass destruction..."

by **Unpredictable Galaxy** » Tue Apr 19, 2016 3:41 pm

"If you mean the excrete the pure definition of badassetry, then yes! But no, they aren't poisonous. Dictator Jiggly I over here though did purposely cause an oil spill, didn't you my jiggly wiggly goo?

And what? Ugly? You son of a- THESE CREATURES ARE SENSITIVE, YOU KNOW! LOOK INTO ITS EYES! Have you no heart for the tame yet cultured variety of compressed pudding? Off with you, or face the wrath of a Blobfish with a knife taped to it!" -Dictator Vegemite LV

by **Danceria** » Tue Apr 19, 2016 3:43 pm

Unpredictable Galaxy wrote:"If you mean the excrete the pure definition of badassetry, then yes! But no, they aren't poisonous. Dictator Jiggly I over here though did purposely cause an oil spill, didn't you my jiggly wiggly goo?

And what? Ugly? You son of a- THESE CREATURES ARE SENSITIVE, YOU KNOW! LOOK INTO ITS EYES! Have you no heart for the tame yet cultured variety of compressed pudding? Off with you, or face the wrath of a Blobfish with a knife taped to it!" -Dictator Vegemite LV

The Thane laughed merrily "I am charmed by their deadpan behavior. I'll take...twelve thousand. If you can spare them. Do you take the gold standard?"

by **Unpredictable Galaxy** » Tue Apr 19, 2016 3:44 pm

"i... have just been informed that eating them is in fact dangerous. They have a defense mechanism of acidic-like skin which is toxic to eat. That would explain several cases of Blobfish-related restaurants being shut down for health inspections, and that bad bout of food poisoning that one time going on a Blobfish-related restaurant binge..." -Dictator Vegemite LV

by **Unpredictable Galaxy** » Tue Apr 19, 2016 3:45 pm

Danceria wrote:
Unpredictable Galaxy wrote:"If you mean the excrete the pure definition of badassetry, then yes! But no, they aren't poisonous. Dictator Jiggly I over here though did purposely cause an oil spill, didn't you my jiggly wiggly goo?

And what? Ugly? You son of a- THESE CREATURES ARE SENSITIVE, YOU KNOW! LOOK INTO ITS EYES! Have you no heart for the tame yet cultured variety of compressed pudding? Off with you, or face the wrath of a Blobfish with a knife taped to it!" -Dictator Vegemite LV

The Thane laughed merrily "I am charmed by their deadpan behavior. I'll take...twelve thousand. If you can spare them. Do you take the gold standard?"

"By all means, whisk them away for whatever the price! I do expect a foot massage in return. I am pleased to hear about another satisfied customer that is taking our endangered animal away- HEY WAIT A SECOND!!! WHERE IS THAT BASTARD ANIMAL GUY?!" -Dictator Vegemite LV

by **Danceria** » Tue Apr 19, 2016 3:49 pm

Unpredictable Galaxy wrote:
Danceria wrote:The Thane laughed merrily "I am charmed by their deadpan behavior. I'll take...twelve thousand. If you can spare them. Do you take the gold standard?"

"By all means, whisk them away for whatever the price! I do expect a foot massage in return. I am pleased to hear about another satisfied customer that is taking our endangered animal away- HEY WAIT A SECOND!!! WHERE IS THAT BASTARD ANIMAL GUY?!" -Dictator Vegemite LV

"Your currency is in...foot massages?" the Thane blinked "Very well, please remove your shoes and socks and we'll find you a table. Would you like your feet to be washed as well?"

by **Unpredictable Galaxy** » Tue Apr 19, 2016 4:08 pm

Danceria wrote:
Unpredictable Galaxy wrote:
"By all means, whisk them away for whatever the price! I do expect a foot massage in return. I am pleased to hear about another satisfied customer that is taking our endangered animal away- HEY WAIT A SECOND!!! WHERE IS THAT BASTARD ANIMAL GUY?!" -Dictator Vegemite LV

"Your currency is in...foot massages?" the Thane blinked "Very well, please remove your shoes and socks and we'll find you a table. Would you like your feet to be washed as well?"

"Hah! Don't be ridiculous. We use Seagull Kidneys. They shat on my car once and it was decided ever since. I just wanted a foot massage... oh, and actually washing them would be better than the massage, so let's just do that!" -Dictator Vegemite LV

by **The Imperium Empires** » Tue Apr 19, 2016 4:16 pm

We're gonna play blow up the blowfish with them.

by **Danceria** » Tue Apr 19, 2016 4:23 pm

Unpredictable Galaxy wrote:
Danceria wrote:"Your currency is in...foot massages?" the Thane blinked "Very well, please remove your shoes and socks and we'll find you a table. Would you like your feet to be washed as well?"

"Hah! Don't be ridiculous. We use Seagull Kidneys. They shat on my car once and it was decided ever since. I just wanted a foot massage... oh, and actually washing them would be better than the massage, so let's just do that!" -Dictator Vegemite LV

"I...see..." thus the Dictator received a massage and a washing of feet.

by **Izweababa** » Wed Apr 20, 2016 7:01 am

Can I adopt a blobfish for my daughter Idowu. She loves them. She has about ten blobfish posters in her room!

by **Unpredictable Galaxy** » Wed Apr 20, 2016 8:12 am

Izweababa wrote:Can I adopt a blobfish for my daughter Idowu. She loves them. She has about ten blobfish posters in her room!

"No. You're the one nation we are not doing any business with." -Dictator Vegemite LV

"We ARE doing business with you, forgive us. Would you like the Blobfish taped to a poster as well to fit the theme, or just standard shipping?" -Leading Constituent of Animal Resources

"THERE YOU ARE, YOU BASTARD! Get over here!" Dictator Vegemite LV can be seen sprinting after the Leading Constituent of Animal Resources down a hallway, tackling him, and proceeding to beat him with Dictator Jiggly I.

by **Trumptastic** » Wed Apr 20, 2016 11:05 am

I must apologize for my comrade Unpredictable Galaxy's behavior over the whole 'Blobfish" ordeal. As Director of Damage control for Realm of Confusion, I believe I owe the curtsy of informing you that Mr. Dictator Vegemite LV was a little bit 'conservative' on taking his hallucinogenic-repressing medication after he had a nasty experience with cheap, off-brand Jello. He believed skipping the medication would quote "Give me super powers to kill the jello to it's core. I'm gonna follow it home, kill it's whole jello family." which he then connected to the blobfish and the rest is history.

by **Unpredictable Galaxy** » Thu Apr 21, 2016 2:27 pm

"Don't be afraid, my fellow potential friends that COULD BACK STAB US BUT WE WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN BECAUSE- what's going on? Blobfish, yes. Adopt them at your request! They are fine animals, I think. Dictator Jiggly I just got his mustache waxed and it looks better than ever!" -Dictator Vegemite LV

by **The Spiders From Mars** » Thu Apr 21, 2016 4:02 pm

We hear that blobfish are quite nutritious. How might we go about acquiring them in bulk quantities?"

by **Unpredictable Galaxy** » Fri Apr 22, 2016 6:06 am

The Spiders From Mars wrote:We hear that blobfish are quite nutritious. How might we go about acquiring them in bulk quantities?"

"Hmm... I feel like I should tell you that Blobfish have naturally acidic skin to prevent people from eating them, but I kinda want to see what happens... wait, did I say that out loud? Oh who cares, eat away my glorious friend! I'll even personally provide a bottle of our fine Blobfish Slime Wine, aged 12 minutes." -Dictator Vegemite LV

by **Izweababa** » Fri Apr 22, 2016 4:30 pm

Unpredictable Galaxy wrote:
Izweababa wrote:Can I adopt a blobfish for my daughter Idowu. She loves them. She has about ten blobfish posters in her room!

"No. You're the one nation we are not doing any business with." -Dictator Vegemite LV

"We ARE doing business with you, forgive us. Would you like the Blobfish taped to a poster as well to fit the theme, or just standard shipping?" -Leading Constituent of Animal Resources

"THERE YOU ARE, YOU BASTARD! Get over here!" Dictator Vegemite LV can be seen sprinting after the Leading Constituent of Animal Resources down a hallway, tackling him, and proceeding to beat him with Dictator Jiggly I.

*knocks Vegemite on head*

Ekwu semeno odem! Now hand me over your blob fish, or I'll send guards!

by **Fatatatutti** » Sun Apr 24, 2016 11:53 am

Unpredictable Galaxy wrote:"Off with you, or face the wrath of a Blobfish with a knife taped to it!" -Dictator Vegemite LV

The Alphonse Duct Tape Corporation (not affiliated with Alphonse) has announced the sale of ten million rolls of duct tape to the Unpredictable Galaxy. In related news, a question was raised in Parliament today about the legality of Fatatatutti's role in the weaponization of blobfish.

by **Unpredictable Galaxy** » Mon Apr 25, 2016 12:54 pm

Fatatatutti wrote:
Unpredictable Galaxy wrote:"Off with you, or face the wrath of a Blobfish with a knife taped to it!" -Dictator Vegemite LV

The Alphonse Duct Tape Corporation (not affiliated with Alphonse) has announced the sale of ten million rolls of duct tape to the Unpredictable Galaxy. In related news, a question was raised in Parliament today about the legality of Fatatatutti's role in the weaponization of blobfish.

"Well, this is unexpected. Now our entire boat industry involves duct-tape built boats. Thank you, Ratatouille Country!" -Dictator Vegemite LV

by **Danceria** » Mon Apr 25, 2016 2:15 pm

A gentleman in a blue suit with shades walks up to the dictator.
"More Blobfish. All of them. Now."

by **Unpredictable Galaxy** » Wed Apr 27, 2016 7:43 am

Danceria wrote:A gentleman in a blue suit with shades walks up to the dictator.
"More Blobfish. All of them. Now."

"Seems like someone woke up on the wrong side of the homeless shelter, HAHAHAHAH! Seriously, though, some of our citizens are completely homeless. How about we send them to your country along with the Blobfish? I took good care of them; I fed them personally, I bathed them, I read them bedtime stories, and even cuddled with them! That's right, all fourteen thousand of them in my building!" -Dictator Vegemite LV

by **Unpredictable Galaxy** » Mon May 02, 2016 5:30 am

"Glorious people! We must not let our Blobfish adoption come to waste just yet! GET OUT THERE AND KICK SOME ASS! FOR MOTHER UNPREDICTABLE GALAXYYYYYY!!!" -Dictator Vegemite LV

It was at this time Dictator Vegemite LV could be seen using Dictator Jiggly I as a club and smashing random civilians on the streets over the head with him.

by **Unpredictable Galaxy** » Wed May 04, 2016 6:01 pm

"Understand that our attempts in nations adopting Blobfish is coming to a near end. Get them while you still can; hot and jiggly Blobfish here!" -Dictator Vegemite LV

by **Canada and The Artic Territories** » Wed May 04, 2016 9:31 pm

Can i adopt one for the Canada Museum of Nature Aquarium Display.

by **Unpredictable Galaxy** » Thu May 05, 2016 6:57 am

Canada and The Artic Territories wrote:Can i adopt one for the Canada Museum of Nature Aquarium Display.

"Can you? CAN YOU? No, seriously, can you? We can't; that's why we're giving them away. If you can, heck yeah you can!" -Dictator Vegemite LV

Adopt a Blobfish!

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