"Can you not see the cuteness in this jiggly bastard?" He shouted as he held up the animal.
"This is glorious! Nothing could ever influence me to give it away- ow! The jiggly bastard just bit me! Is that how you want to play this, eh, you rejected Pokemon?" Dictator Vegemite LV's face grew red as he pulled out a pistol and aimed it at the creature.
"Sir, please wait!" Owner of the Blobfish Adoption Center Angela Wicker ran up and pulled the gun away from him. "The creature has had a hard life with its previous owner and is simply not trained well; it's not its fault!"
Dictator Vegemite LV put the gun away and stared directly into the eyes of the Blobfish. "Listen here, you expired jello, I don't like you and you don't like me, but we gotta live with each other for the sake of our citizens. I'm going to give you a makeover and make you my left hand man. My right hand is currently occupied holding you, so it only makes sense." It was at this time Dictator Vegemite LV took off from the stage with the old Blobfish and ran into the nearest barber shop.
When he left the building, he raised the Blobfish into the air above his head and began talking. "Behold! The new and improved Blobfish!
You can clearly tell now that it is of most importance to adopt these sophisticated creatures in order to improve the quality of our citizens tenfold!" Cheers arose from a few people on the streets passing by, which made Dictator Vegemite LV choke up emotionally. "Thank you, thank you. Now if you excuse me, I need to bring this cheese curd with eyes back into my house in order to make it dictator of Blobfishes!" He said as he walked down the street towards the capital building.
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Note: This is already in the nation's factbook; this is merely a public statement for it. Hope you enjoyed!