NationStates

An announcement to all sovereign peoples of the world,

Ossitania is now accepting applications to establish formal diplomatic relation with other nations. All nations' applications shall be considered but Ossitania reserves the right to deny an application if the nation is deemed to be a threat to national security.

Ossitania is also accepting applications from groups, organisations and/or peoples attempting to excercise their rights to independence, secession, sovereignty, self-determination and self-governance.

However, it should be noted at this time that Ossitania consists entirely of a single man in a boat near the ocean detritus left over from the destruction of the landmass formerly known as Ossitania. As such, Ossitania will not be able to offer any embassy space within its territory. Instead, successful applicants will receive a dedicated mobile phone in the box of mobile phones our nation keeps in the cupboard beside the cupboard under the sink, which our nation's diplomats promise to use exclusively to contact the diplomatic staff of the nation assigned to it.

As a special bonus, the first twenty successful applicants will not have to supply their own phone.

We look forward to receiving your applications.

Yours sincerely,

Guy in the Boat,
President and Sole Resident of Ossitania

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Official Application Form

Official Name of Nation:
Colloquial or Shorthand Name of Nation:
Government Type:
WA Classification:
Head of State:
Head of Government:
Name of Ambassador:
Ambassador's Number:
Ambassador's Email:
Ambassador's Preferred Emojis:
Ambassador's Favourite Movie:
Boxers or Briefs?

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Official Phones

1. The one with scratches but no cracks:
2. The one with a crack but no scratches:
3. The one with an okay camera:
4. The blue one, you know which one I mean:
5. The one that only turns on every third try:
6. The one with a QWERTY keypad:
7. The one with no back, but there's a piece of electrical tape holding the battery in, so it's fine, really:
8. The one with no emojis:
9. The one that runs really slow because of all the newspaper-specific reader apps:
10. The one that doesn't even turn off if you throw it against a wall:
11. The obligatory flip phone:
12. The one with the broken backlight:
13. The one that never even had a backlight in the first place, it's just that old:
14. The one that never actually stopped working, but it was really ugly:
15. The one with a little antennae, but it doesn't do anything:
16. The one with a broken charger port, so it needs its battery charged inside another phone:
17. The slider phone, because those were a thing for some reason:
18. The one with the volume stuck on loud:
19. The one with the volume stuck on vibrate:
20. The one that doesn't vibrate anymore: