Esquarium Today [Regional News, CLOSED]

About me · by **Luziyca** » Thu Dec 27, 2012 8:20 pm

Westerholm International Peace Park to Discourage Illegal Emigration Into Geadland

The storm drain which a few weeks ago, two traitors escaped

NOVI BONDHAAGEN, LUZIYCA - After a publicized escape of two students from Gijirokastra at the Westerholm Peace Park, there has been an announcement to improve security to prevent illegal emigration into Geadland. So far this year, 11 people have attempted to enter Geadland illegally, thus, they are revealing a new system to monitor the border with waterproof cameras, small enough not to be seen, but large enough to be maintained, and to transmit footage into the offices of the Border Guard.

"This system," the chairman of the Municipal Water Department of Novi Bondhaagen, Hagen Korsna, "this new system to defend sewage tunnels that we cannot fill with concrete, such as stormdrains, crossing the border into Geadland." These cameras are digitized, extremely clear, waterproof, and are the size of three quarters (three Д0.25 pieces), or 71.64 square mm (7.164 square cm cameras), which may be big, but small. They are to be hidden, from the sight of the naked human eye, but will be seen.

Korsna explains that "if the traitor attempts to cross the borders through the tunnels, the camera will detect them, and the police will be notified, as well as Border Control, so if they do appear, or are trying to enter Luziycan soil, they can be arrested for illegal emigration from Luziyca. If caught by Geadish authorities, and sent back here, they WILL be tried, knowing we SAW them escape illegally onto Geadish soil."

As such, they announce to begin implementing the system by January 2013, and will complete it by June 2013. When the network of 22 cameras are installed on 11 core storm drains, one at the actual Geadish-Luziycan border, and one two meters away from it, for security reasons.

by **Namor** » Mon Dec 31, 2012 2:34 pm

January 1, 2013 (Namor 2353)

2013 NEW YEAR'S EDITORIAL

By Unlun Antelope
Editor of the Liberator
With happiness and joy, the people of Namor and the rest of the world has bid the year 2012 farewell and welcomed the year 2013----a year packed with exciting futures and unknown opportunities.

During the year 2012, the Namorese nation as a whole saw their fruits of labor and sacrifice pay off. Our per capita GDP is rising, and our economic growth rate is also rising. But moreover, so is our quality of life. This is an accomplishment we Namorese, as one of the few blessed peoples on Earth, can do----improving our economy and our social look at the same time.

And who knows if Namor is going to improve once Speaker Alicia Wolf becomes President of the People's Republic this May Day---her policies see bright future for our nation. According to Wolf, her administration will develop the "2353 Development Plan," which involves a raise in income taxes to eradicate poverty, social inequality and economic burdens. Under her administration, we here at the Liberator wish the people a happy New Year and a happy life.

Of course, Namor has gone through great lengths under President Chen as well. His no-interventionist policy and economic and social development plans have guided Namor like the sun the past five years, and fixed all problems our country had with other allies such as Geadland, Phing Phong and Dae Gwo.

In the meantime, our country still stands vigilant and strong against those who are going to harm our true independence, freedom and democracy. The government---and us---are aware of the silent expansionist forces of the Hippostanian Republic, who wants to encircle us with military bases and nuclear missiles in the long run. We are also aware of the threat from East Chorea and Luziyca's hostile leadership. While it is our number-one plan to try resolving all problems with their regimes, we shall still stand tall against silent aggression at all times.

In conclusion, the new year 2013 marks a significant upgrade in our country's way of life and economic development. And we shall continue to prosper until we become a developed superpower.

Happy New Year from the Liberator's editor, who is me.

COMMENTARY: HIPPOSTANIAN EXPANSIONISM
MUST BE STOPPED

See Page B5

by **Geadland** » Tue Jan 01, 2013 3:06 pm

Enrume Ogen, a satirical newspaper, reports
LUZIYCAN FÜHRER IN CREATIVITY SHOCK
Breuvik does something which Hippostania didn't do

It has been discovered that by oppressing the disabled, Luziyca have for the first time in their history, committed a human rights abuse WITHOUT blatantly ripping it off Hippostania!

The Luziycan President, Breuvik Shjoraski, said that "Today, we have at long last acheived what we set out to do under Huswa Vawanken nearly 150 years ago! We have managed to find a creative and original way to oppress people. For over a century we have relied on doing whatever Hippostania did a few years beforehand in order to subjugate them. Be it banning opposition media and protests, invading and colonising other countries, harrassing foreign journalists and having draconian prohibition and law enforcement, we always did what they did! Just in a more moronic way! But now, we are moving away from being a copycat. We will become the CREATIVE member of the ACA! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Prime Minister Andras Verbåten says that "The fact that Luziyca are beginning to invent their own methods of oppressing their people is extremely worrying. Previously, we had advance warning of what Luziyca would do because whatever it was, Hippostania would have done it a short while before. But now, they may become less predictable."

The Iglesian Prime Minister Yrynyly Vylyny, said "The actions of the Luziycan government are a very bad thing. I'm going to write an impassioned plea to them, asking them to stop their human rights abuses, which they will ignore. Then I'm going to do absolutely NOTHING ELSE, because I'm a non-interventionist!"

Breuvik Shjoraski, however, said that "Luziyca will not tolerate any criticism of our actions. Anyone who confronts us with impassioned pleas or criticism will be met with the most SEVEREST military retaliation Luziyca can offer - hollow empty threats which we won't follow through on!"

Meanwhile, the Luziycan government have decided to amend their plans to only remove the rights of the physically disabled. A spokesman said that "We originally planned to strip the rights of mentally ill people too, until we realised that this would affect the entire Luziycan government."

by **Geadland** » Mon Jan 07, 2013 6:57 pm

CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY LOSE LIBEL CASE
Enrume Ogen hails "fantastic news"

7th January GNC 719 Last updated 18:35 Geadish Standard Time

DA HEGNER - The High Court have upheld a ruling that threw out the Church of Scientology's most recent lawsuit against the satirical newspaper Enrume Ogen. The Geadish branch of the Church of Scientology were ordered to pay compensation for Enrume Ogen's legal costs.

The High Court, which is the final court of law for non-constitutional cases, agreed with the original decision from the Gamle Bondhaven Municipal Court that the material in question could not be considered libelous or defamatory because it targetted an organisation, not an individual. Justice Villemsen wrote the court's opinion that "Even the material which is not presented of satire cannot considered to be libel. The plaintiff has no legal basis in arguing that a libel against an organisation is a libel against its members. The 1999 Libel Statute explains why."

The material in question consisted of six articles, four cartoons and an actual photograph with a humorous caption.

Rodgar Smid, the editor of Enrume Ogen, said that it was "fantastic news". "This is a triumph for free speech. We are not like Luziyca; in Geadland everyone has the right to free speech and to question, criticise and ridicule a person's religious beliefs, including my own." The editor said that the magazine now planned that "In our next edition we will post even more jokes about Scientology - because we know we'll get away with it." The Church of Scientology said that "We are dissappointed that we have lost our case, where we tried to seek compensation from the damages Enrume Ogen has done to our reputation."

It is only the fourth legal dispute between Enrume Ogen and the Church of Scientology, the first to reach the appeals courts and only the first to be thrown out. Smid said he hoped that it would "set a precedent for future rulings and strengthen religious freedom". Enrume Ogen is one of the most sued publications in the country and is notorious for its willingness to promote libelous material. It has not only satired the Church of Scientology but has also directly accused the organisation of using libel lawsuits to intimidate critics.

The Church of Scientology is the second largest religious Luziyca and it is mainly through its successful establishment across the border that it has ventured into Geadland. However, the organisation has failed to obtain the tax-exempt status religious institutions normally enjoy due to questions over its finances, and the organisation has faced questioning over the alleged breaches of the 2006 Anti-Exploitation Statute. Three senior members at a branch in Eskrau were arrested last November on charges of fraud and exploitation.

About me · by **Luziyca** » Sun Jan 20, 2013 8:20 pm

Graph by Luziycan Scientists prove climate change is happening: as far as leftist nations are concerned

Studies of weather patterns from 1975 to 2010 have proved temperatures rose in leftist nations

BETHLEHEM, LUZIYCA - Today, the Central Intelligence has revealed via recently declassified documents that from 1975 (it launched on Jan. 18, 1974) to 2010, it studied changing weather patterns, and that its scientists have shown climate change is occurring within communist nations, such as Red Namor, Red Iglesiantis, Swilatia, and until 2000, Zokoria. In contrast, weather patterns in Hippostania, Luziyca, Delvoir and since 2000, Zokoria have ACTUALLY been showing signs that climate change is NOT impacting those nations.

The scientist who headed the study, Andrew Burchill has stated, "we saw in the past 35 years that leftist nations saw their average temperatures rise, to as high as 50 degrees Celsius in Red Iglesiantis. In contrast, the highest in Delvoir, Hippostania and Luziyca are 18.5 degrees Celsius, within Hippostania, as recorded in 1975. Clearly, it proves the average temperature in leftist nations is rising, which proves their communist theory of global warming, whilst here, it is ACTUALLY DECLINING which is a sure sign that CLIMATE CHANGE is NOT happening."

As of September 2012, a Gallup poll with 500 respondents shown that 78% claim that "climate change IS NOT happening, and that it is a leftist concept made by their governments to brainwash their populace into believing such stupid communist concepts." In complete contrast, 22% claim that "it is happening, but is NOT such a huge deal, unlike what many leftists claim." Nobody in the survey claimed that it was a BAD THING FOR THE EARTH. Thus, it can be verified that Luziyca NOW has PROOF that climate change ONLY affects communist nations which is seen as the norm.

Thus, in two years, they will reveal a report in 2015, with Iglesiantis predicted to rise to 55 degrees C, and Swilatia rising to 51.83 degrees C, while Luziyca will be stabilized ecologically, as well as Delvoir, Hippostania and Zokoria.

About me · by **Luziyca** » Fri Jan 25, 2013 8:46 pm

Treaty of Bethlehem Signed, Esquarium Union due to come into effect Feb. 1, 2012

President Breuvi Shjoraski and President Jedar Osiris hugging after the treaty was signed that established the Esquarium Union.

BETHLEHEM, LUZIYCA - Today, the governments of Luziyca, Zokoria, Taralba, Kofeiya, Nyanasherva, Jandaria, and Delvoir met at the Presidential Palace to establish a treaty that created the Esquarium Union. The seven founding members signed the treaty, after a few hours of negotiation, with the creation of the General Assembly; the first session is to be held on February 1, 2013 in Bethlehem, Luziyca.

A citizen we interviewed, Miranda Kiyanov stated, "This union is a splendid idea. It will be a good thing for Esquarium to be united under a single bloc dedicated to protecting peace within the region of the world. I do hope that my native fatherland, Bulundia will join the Esquarium Union. There are greater benefits, than drawbacks to joining the union, and I hope this union shall outlive me."

In Jandaria, their currency, the Jan will cease to be legal tender on Feb. 1, 2013, and be replaced with the lira, while Kofeiya already adopted the lira in 1991. Zokoria will peg their currency to the lira, and it is unknown about Delvoir's situation. Taralba will continue to use the Hippostanian dollar, since it is an overseas territory of Hippostania. There is a greater chance, that the union will last for a long time, and outlive its rival started by our communist neighbor to the east: Namor, which is called PEMBU, which will NOT benefit anyone except the communist lackeys who are in charge, such as Namor. Geadland, Swilatia and Iglesiantis are joining whilst Jandaria is also part of PEMBU.

In any case, it is quite beneficial, and we, the editors of The Constitution wish good luck on this union.

by **Namor** » Sat Feb 09, 2013 4:53 pm

ALL OF NAMOR USHERS IN A NEW ROMANIZED CHINESE SCRIPT
Central Council votes for establishing Hanyu Pinyin as the official way to write Chinese in Namor and its territories

NAMO---Today, the Namorese Central Council made a vote that will effectively change the official way to write the Chinese language here in Namor from Simplified Chinese to Hanyu Pinyin, used by the mainland Chinese since 1958.

The bill was proposed by the Ministry of Education, who believed that the adoption of Pinyin throughout Namor will usher in a new era of Chinese language learning, and will also make communication between ethnic Chinese and Namorese easier, like it did in the Free Administrative Region of Dongyang.

The Central Council overwhelmingly supported the bill, with the voting results to be 567 Yea to 33 Nay. As per the proposed bill's content, all of Namor and its FARs shall be given three months' time--up until the May 1, 2013 deadline--to slowly transition from utilising Simplified Chinese to utilising Hanyu Pinyin.

Although a recent poll showed that most of Namor is for the official romanization of the Pinyin Script, studies also showed that transitioning from one script to another wouldn't be an easy task, and would require a lot of expense, which both the state and private organisations will cover. Government institutions would have to spend thousands of ramons replacing any Chinese words in their signs, billboards and the like in the Simplified script, to the Pinyin script. Buses, taxis and other public transportation, which carry multilingual advertisements in its seats, would have to adjust as well.

But the most concerning concern of all was in Namor's various Chinatowns, where small shops, restaurants and street markets still have overwhelmingly high usage of standard Chinese script. The government finally decided that the Chinatowns in Namor would be allowed to keep their standard Chinese billboards and signs AS LONG AS they also add Pinyin transcripts on them.

by **Radiatian Esquarium** » Sat Feb 09, 2013 9:46 pm

RADIATIAN ESQUARIUM CALLS FOR FEDERAL REPRESENTATION
COULD RADIATIAN ESQUARIUM BECOME RADIATIA'S 38TH STATE?

February 10th LET 46 Last updated 16:47 Exegrad Standard Time

OCULA, RADIATIAN ESQUARIUM
Territorial Governor Richard Hermann has joined calls for Radiatian Esquarium to be represented in the Radiatian Federal Parliament.

_{Territorial Governor Richard Hermann has joined calls for Radiatian Esquarium to join the Federation}

The Governor addressed a delegation of journalists and political figures, including Vice President Samuel Negasi, following widespread protests at Radiatian Esquarium's lack of federal representation during last week's mid-term elections.

"We are not savages living on some abandoned island in the middle of Esquarium," Said the Governor. "We are disenfranchised Radiatian citizens. We deserve the same respect afforded the 37 states of the Radiatian Federation. We do not deserve to be neglected, or given substandard political rights. We cannot continue to live in this no-man's land between autonomy and colonialism."

The governor suggested that Radiatian Esquarium ought to petition the federal government for full statehood. "The only two options are full statehood, or full independence.

"But full independence will only see us conquered by a more hostile power such as Luziyca or Zokoria who would surely treat us worse. So we need statehood."

In LET 42 a referendum on whether or not Radiatian Esquarium should become a full-fledged state of Radiatia was rejected. 50% of people voted to retain the status quo, 39% voted for statehood while 11% voted for independence.

Currently Radiatian Esquarium is an unincorporated territory, which means that its 3.1 million citizens are exempted from paying federal taxes, but remain unrepresented in Xerconia. Citizens are granted almost all other rights afforded Radiatian citizens, including the right to settle in the contiguous Radiatian Federation.

President Keldon Silviu said that he would support Radiatian Esquarium's bid for statehood if it ever came to that, although such a request could face difficulty in the Federal Parliament, with many politicians from both parties uneasy about the prospect of inviting two new Senators and six new MPs to Xerconia.

"I ain't not knowin' much about that there Radiatian Square-i-um country but they all sound a bit foreign ter me," Said Senator Arkadiy Schwinghammer (LCP - Ziigrut). "I ain't sure they gots the same values as us here in Radiatia. Ya don't just stroll into this federation, ya gots ter earn yer place here an' I don't remember them Square people helpin' us when we was fighting the commies."

Governor Hermann acknowledged that there was a sense of discrepancy between Radiatian Esquarium and the mainland but called such comments "stereotypes designed to foster discrimination."

"People in the Radiatian Federation see Radiatian Esquarium as some godforsaken tropical island with no laws, where the poor are starving to death and everyone spends all day high on drugs because of our loose drug laws," He said. "Which is only half true!"

President Silviu rejected a request for Radiatian Esquarium to send a delegation of MPs under a similar scheme to how the Federal Capital Territory is represented in parliament - with MPs in the Federal Assembly, but no Senators.

"If Radiatian Esquarium wants to be treated like a state, they will have to become a state."

- RPNN

DerMeister (Sandwich, Radiatian Esquarium)
2 HOURS AGO
I don't want statehood. If we become part of the federation, we'll have to deal with federal drug laws and that sort of shit. We're better off as we are.

55 likes

Frankie (Ocula, Radiatian Esquarium)
2 HOURS AGO
I grew up in Amentra. Voting in federal elections isn't what it's cracked up to be. I'd rather not vote and not pay federal tax, than vote and pay federal tax. It's why I moved here in the first place!

27 likes

Hyuk (Misa, Detzertscha)
1 HOUR AGO
i didnt even no there woz a terrortree cald radiatian squarem ntil i red ths articel!

9 likes

In Other News:

by **Namor** » Mon Feb 11, 2013 1:48 pm

WOLF: I WILL IMPROVE RELATIONS WITH THE JUR
Determined President-Elect says that Unolia has no reason to fear

February 11, 2013 (2352)

NAMO--The Liberator had a brief interview with President-Elect Alicia Wolf, who is currently Speaker of the Central Council. The topic was the future of diplomatic relations between the People's Republic and the Jahistic Unified Republic. The two nations, after decades of ideological tension and hostility, have finally agreed to normalize relations, with the Jahistic People's Assembly in Unolia passing an unanimous vote of full Namorese acceptance, and a switch of recognition from a Luziycan-backed illegal authority to the People's Republic as Namor's sole legitimate government. In this interview, Wolf answers complicated questions regarding the future of Namo-JUR relations, and how Unolia might react when she takes office.

Q: Honorable Speaker, what are your thoughts about the recent normalization of relations between Namor and the JUR?

WOLF: I see it positively. The Jahistic Unified Republic, prior to normalizing relations with the JUR, have constantly described Namor as a socialist enemy which needed to be destroyed. They have constantly allied themselves with the Luziycan Christian regime in the crusade to destroy our government. Now that their leader, Jarrod Thuman, has finally come to his senses, I have nothing to say but praises to Unolia. Hopefully, things will work out in the future.

Q: According to the latest article in the Jahistic party newspaper, the Firebrand, Thuman is deeply concerned about you and your future presidency, and has stated that the JUR will reevaluate its stance towards Namor once May Day comes. What do you think about this?

WOLF: Chairman Thuman has nothing to fear. I will provide social equality in Namor and I will support a mixed economy, but does that mean I'm going to bring democratic socialism or socialism in general to Unolia and force these people to adopt it as a state ideology? Of course not, it's not even the state ideology here. I believe that the Jahistic government should act a bit wiser, care about themselves and realize that every country has their own way of managing the economy, and as long as it's working well then there's nothing to fear. There is no need to reevaluate anything. Let things stay the same as it is now, and things will go well.

Q: Have you any concerns for what is happening inside the JUR as of now?

WOLF: I won't go far as to say that the Jahistic government is a government full of despots--it isn't. The problem is, the JUR is currently being dominated by a majority party that is using communist methods to spread capitalism among the populace. I have no problem with that, they can do whatever they want. But detaining democratic socialists, leftists and socialists in general and putting them in struggle meetings, then having Youth Corps members spit at their faces? Yeah, I'll say that's a little too...extreme.

Q: Do you think there should be an alliance between Namor and the JUR?

WOLF: It might be a little too soon. Our two countries have just normalized relations. We can't have an alliance right away. And like the current President said, we shouldn't make any alliances. It will jeopardize world stability.

Q: Thank you for accepting our interview, and I will improve relations with the JUR.

WOLF: You are welcome.

COMMENTS

SuckMyBalls (Mojing, Namor) 255 likes, 15 dislikes
1 HOUR AGO
President-Elect Wolf is doing a great job. Hopefully she'll teach Mr. Thuman that there's nothing to worry about, and that things will get better. LOVE YOU WOLF! :3

JarrodThumanSucks1125 (Kusef, Thalassa) 1 like, 144 dislikes
2 HOURS AGO
JARROD THUMAN, STOP SENDING YOUTH CORPS AND PERSECUTING SOCIALISTS! SCREW YOU AND YOUR LIBERTARIAN REGIME! D:<<<<

CoolKid2 (Fujin, West Nozama) 55 likes, 5 dislikes
5 HOURS AGO
At least we have a new ally against the Luzzy scum...

by **Namor** » Tue Feb 12, 2013 7:21 pm

WHAT NAMOR NEEDS TO DO IN ORDER TO BOLSTER NATIONAL SECURITY...
Expert says it needs to show Luziycan, East Chorean regimes that Namor is willing to defend its allies

February 12, 2013 (2353)

BY DR. TXO MING
Now that the regimes of Luziyca and East Chorea are spending their money on weapons and a stronger army to crush the so-called Namorese Menace, it is about time that our country stop acting too non-interventionist to show the world it is not diplomatically weak.

Indeed, it is a good thing that Namor is not spending millions of dollars in joining wars that are none of its business, due to the fact that there are more urgent problems back home we need to solve before we go around and promote freedom and democracy; however, have we ever considered what these hostile regimes are doing to sabotage our national security and harming our people?

People might not realize that in Eastern Luziyca alone, there are three to four Hippostanian military bases in the area, its sole purpose is to "defend Luziyca from communist aggression." In reality, these bases are there so when Luziyca decides to invade Namor like it did back in 1966, that it will use these bases to their advantage. The HIppostanians, as shrewd as they were and still are, have already tricked the Geadish government into building a base in their free nation decades ago. Indeed, the Geads have not really considered how this act would only lead to their national sovereignty being harmed--they only cared about Hippostania viewing them neutrally.

Nor did they consider that having the Hippostanian hegemony build a base in their country was part of a gradual plan to encircle Namor and other allied nations, and to invade such nations and restore the tyrannical regimes their people have worked so hard to overthrow.

We must face the facts. The Luziycans, after being driven out of Txotai in 1970, lost their faces. Therefore, they are trying to regain their faces and regaining their prestige by buiding a plan to invade Namor, destroy our people and replace it with another Jung To. Perhaps the older generation of Namorese knows how bad the country was under Jung To---it taught us all that we don't need another Republican regime ruling over us.

The Luziycan imperialists were also sneaky in their plan, trying to instigate a rebellion in Mojing, inviting the Liberation Army to crush it and then have President Pheobe call it a "massacre," while the whole world understands that it was a well-planned foreign conspiracy.

If Namor continues to adopt such a strictly non-interventionist foreign policy, then I shudder to think. Where will the next CIA-backed insurgency happen? In Namo? In Nozama? In Kusef, where the so-called Otekian independence activists have long set their eyes upon? We simply cannot let this happen at any time.

Therefore, Namor should remain non-interventionist, but when it comes to her allies being tricked or harmed by imperialists, she has a call to make. A call to the imperialists that freedom cannot be disturbed.

Our country is friendly, but it should NEVER be an invitation of invasion to hegemonies and fascists.

COMMENTS

Michael Cha (Thalassan City, Thalassa) 120 likes, 88 dislikes
2 HOURS AGO
Well, I think what this guy said was pretty much what I think. We shouldn't look weak by not intervening in anything. To me, Namor should intervene whenever she or her allies were harmed in any way.

Tenkin4 (Olachoo, West Chorea) 55 likes, 14 dislikes
3 HOURS AGO
we should invade east chorea right away! i herd their dicktator drink vodka every day and they're people eat no rice!

SamuelTan (Novi Starkeville, Upper Zokoria) 76 likes, 10 dislikes
7 HOURS AGO
I think we should just stay the same. I mean, there's no need going around the world and being the world's savior, like the United States. We should just mind our own businesses. Even Chen said it: Luziyca's gonna collapse sometime soon without anyone even touching it.

About me · by **Luziyca** » Tue Feb 12, 2013 8:46 pm

109 year old man retires from his job

Ralph Natorva is the oldest person living in the State of Amatrov.

HOOSIER, AMATROV - Today, a 109 year old man, the oldest in the state of Amatrov retired from his job as a teacher after serving the school district for eighty-eight years.

Ralph Natorva was born on February 2nd, 1904, and on his 21st birthday, got a job at the Hoosier Secondary School (now the Pope Derghun II Secondary School) where he worked until 2008, his career spanning eighty-three years. From September 2008, he became a substitute teacher, teaching throughout the school district. He has officially retired, and the Hoosier School District will provide a pension of 1,000 lira a week, or $2,000.

Ralph Natorva has only taken ONE day off, on May 2nd, 2003, to attend the funeral of his wife, who he fathered four children (they got married on July 10, 1931). He now has 18 grandchildren, and 4 great-grandchildren. He was known for his dedication, and even taught President William Bush, when he was a student. In 2006, he surpassed the record of the longest time a teacher has taught, surpassing Jeremiah Kanes (b. Oct. 31, 1892, d. May 11, 2001) who taught for 81 years in Jerusalem, from when she was 24 (1916), until 1997, when she retired at the age of 105 years old.

When we asked the reason for the retirement, he explained "I am getting old and infirm. My body is starting to slowly collapse. I did a great deed to my city. I have taught, I learned, and I mentored. I feel that now, I fear my frail body will collapse, in the middle of a class. I don't want my students to see me die. I want to spend my last years, in dignity."

He is the 16th oldest person in Luziyca, the oldest is Alice Sorkolos (b. July 2, 1892), at the age of 120 years, living in Bethlehem. When asked of his longevity, he replied: "The secret to longevity is drinking some Coca-Cola, eat some chocolate and pizza, and being dedicated to a great deed for my community: teaching."

In Hoosier, a new secondary school will be named the "Ralph Natorva Secondary School," to be opened for September 2014. Construction had begun in July 2012, and has a capacity for over 5,000 students. The President has announced that due to his great deeds, to serve the "youth of Luziyca for such a long time," he will grant Ralph Natorva the "Presidential Medal of Honor," a prestigious award within Luziyca.

Comments
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Comments (420)

Karen (Hoosier, Amatrov) 89 likes 2 dislikes
I am INCREDIBLY proud of the fact that such a great teacher served for quite a long time. I got him as a substitute teacher two years ago, and I LIKED HIM! Such a shame he is retiring.

Hayaba (Nazareth, Upper Inleda) 85 likes 3 dislikes
You brought me memories of when I was taught by Jeremiah Kanes. God bless her! <3 Never forget her!

Heliopolis (Yerevan, Arazei) 1 like 216 dislikes
WHO GIVES A DAMN OF THIS USELESS GEEZER?

Shah882 (Ngiao, Ataahua) 94 likes 1 dislike
I wish him well later in life. May his legacy be remembered.

SemaHayek (Hoosier, Amatrov) 11 likes 64 dislikes
I was taught by him, but he was TOO strict. Like, dude, get with the fucking times!

JacobKuyumbaye (Bethlehem, Bethlehem) 101 likes 7 dislikes
May your time retired be worthwhile!

JasperOlympicsFan (Jasper, Alto Luziyca) 129 likes 2 dislikes
I honestly believe that this is a sad moment, but a good story: one of an individual who gives to his community knowledge. He DESERVES this award.

Mara (Dhenen, Eastern Luziyca) 13 likes 11 dislikes
This is as interesting as "kitten rescued from a tree" story.

Sawatzky (Hoosier, Amatrov) 91 likes 0 dislikes
I am a math teacher, but when I was away, he filled in. He knew a lot of stuff in so many fields. I will miss him dearly.

Toonie (Hoosier, Amatrov) 6 likes 7 dislikes
Really, man? You're the best teacher! Come on, don't quit!

by **Namor** » Thu Feb 14, 2013 1:35 pm

NAMO IS RATED CITY WITH LARGEST WEALTH GAP
City Gini Index revealed to be 42.4, compared to National Average of 25.2

February 14, 2013 (2353)

NAMO--The Ministry of Demograhpics issued a stunning report today that ranked the capital, Namo, the city with the largest wealth gap in the country.

The statistics, however, showed more stunning results. Compared to the Gini rating of 35.3 back in 2010, Namo now has a Gini of 42.4, surpassing Mojing, which in 2010 had a Gini of 37.7 and now has a Gini of 39.3.

The city's rising social inequality can be spotted by the naked eye as well---a visitor to Namo would easily spot skyscrapers towering over ancient houses and "temporary" slums, men in suits walking past the low-paid migrant worker, and buses colliding with the traditionalist capitalite who depends on his ox to get to his destination.

Compare that to the average Namorese town, where almost everything is the same, and Mr. Jones has as much money as Mrs. Jones who lives next door.

"This is really disturbing," said Namo Mayor Chu Txong (LP), whose "Struggle Against Inequality" program is desperately hiring social workers to bring the capital's gini below 30.0, "Namor as a whole has been known for its social equality, but after decades of pursuing this so-called 'economic liberties,' this is what Namor's cities get."

Liberals claim that the reason behind Namor's inequality is clear: little or nothing was done to help the poor, and that social welfare within the city is becoming nothing but symbolism. "We should reinforce city welfare programs immediately," Neighborhood Moderator Zhu Libao (DSP) told the Liberator, "Cities are supposed to be a sign of economic development AS WELL AS social stability, which translates to social equality in the long run."

Conservatives, represented by City Council representative Michael Hosbad, say that the people themselves are to blame.

"They chose not to get to work and stay poor," he said. "They should learn how not to depend on the government on their everyday needs. Had the people worked harder we would've got better results."

COMMENTS

Jacob Loew (Namo, Namor) 162 likes, 27 dislikes
30 MINUTES AGO
Conservative corporatism is to blame. Utopia is to blame. Equality trickles top down, not down up as these motherfuckers think it does. Only INTELLIGENT ppl would get on it and start revitalizing city welfare programs. Funny how the government couldn't keep their capital equal...

CallahanFan9999 (Thalassan City, Thalassa) 3 likes, 345 dislikes
2 HOURS AGO
Libs and DemSocs are total commies, can't even care for their own people. May Callahan return to Namor once more and bring the Gini up to over 89.5! >XD

DmitriChen (Evesham, East Namor) 10 likes, 2 dislikes
4 HOURS AGO
yay mojing's no longer number one...

by **Namor** » Sat Feb 16, 2013 6:53 am

PINYIN TO REPLACE SIMPLIFIED IN THE LIBERATOR'S CHINESE EDITION
As transition continues, the media pitches in as well

February 16, 2013 (2353)

The Liberator's Chinese Edition, known in Chinese as the Jiě Fàng Bào (解放报), will officially switch all of its text from Simplified Chinese to Hanyu Pinyin effective February 20. 2013, amid the recent Central Council decision to set a deadline for nationwide public institutions to switch to Pinyin.

Of course, other newspapers that have Chinese editions, along with newspapers that are only in Chinese, will also be setting up dates to switch to Pinyin.

Other media outlets, including those closely linked with the Ministry of Communications, will also be switching to Pinyin at different dates, as long as they do so before May Day comes.

NCTV-华语, the Chinese-language channel of Namor Central Television, will switch to NCTV-Huáyǔ, in its Pinyin form. Its newscasts, news tickers and commercials will also switch to Pinyin form. NCTV's daily sign-ons, which currently display the words "NAMOR CENTRAL TELEVISION" in Geadish, Luziycan, Norwegian, Chorean, Chinese, French and finally English, will cease identifying the Chinese identification as "纳摩尔中央电视台," but as "Nà mó'ěr Zhōngyāng Diànshìtái," in Hanyu Pinyin.

Newspapers sold in Namor in Simplified Chinese
will be guaranteed a safe transition to Pinyin
by May Day.

Chinese-speaking (Sinophone) Namorese have expressed their support for this transition, whilst the older generation, who were taught either traditional or simplified Chinese from childhood, were more reluctant.

"I support it," said Dongyang resident Fang Chenli, 33, in a telephone interview with the Liberator, "Lu Xun once said that China will collapse if we don't romanize our language. I congratulate Namor for transitioning into Pinyin, and I urge Taiwan and mainland China, and all Chinese-speaking communities elsewhere to do the same."

While critics have pointed out that such a media transition that will last until May Day was unsafe, and would greatly affect elder Chinese who know little to no Pinyin, the Ministry of Communications say that they have done preparations.

"We won't leave the elder generation of Sinophone speakers and writers behind," stated the Ministry in an online statement yesterday, "The government has already approved a R3.5 million package for us to use to provide neccessary education for these people for them to learn Pinyin."

The Ministry also rebutted the critics' claims that Pinyin was harder than learning Simplified or Traditional Chinese, stating that Pinyin "looks better" on newspapers than orthodox Chinese script, and it's also easier, because "it simplifies an ancient language into 26 simple alphabetical letters."

Of course, the only media outlets that wouldn't be affected by this transition would be radio, due to the fact that you couldn't really see radio broadcasting, so there wouldn't be any change; however, radio stations nationwide would have to replace Simplified with Pinyin in their websites, that is, if their websites have a Chinese page.

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Comments (335)

Woshiyigebengdan888 (Dongyang, Dongyang FAR) 223 likes, 22 dislikes
2 HOURS AGO
Sounds like a neat transition. Here we've been writing in Pinyin since the 1950s so I don't think it really matters.

Tinboy Zamzam (Cherry Hill, West Namor) 35 likes, 245 dislikes
3 HOURS AGO
TRADITIONAL CHINESE IS BEST CHINESE. FUCK PINYIN, TRADITIONAL CHINESE 2DAY! 正體中文好!

LilDouche (Antelopesville, Dongyang FAR) 131 likes, 53 dislikes
5 HOURS AGO
This is indeed a great transition. Chinese, like all other languages, should be romanized if their people wanna catch up with the modernized world. Now with Pinyin, it'll be easier for me to learn Chinese! YAY!

ZhongNanHai1921 (Beijing, People's Republic of China) 2 likes, 130 dislikes
The Chinese language is known for its varied characters. It's been there for over 5000 years, and you revisionist geezers wanna replace it with 26 boring letters? BE MY GUEST! D:<<<<

by **Namor** » Sun Feb 17, 2013 7:19 am

CHO PYONG-CHONG DIES
Iron-Fist Dictator leaves behind instable police state

February 17, 2013 (2353)

CHO MAXIMUS CITY--After days of secrecy within its ranks, the ruling party of East Chorea confirmed that East Chorea's longtime dictator, Cho Pyong-chong, son of the dictator Cho Maximus, had died while boarding a biplane headed for his next field inspection tour.

Is East Chorea headed for regime collapse?

This was unexpected news, as many reliable reports done by East Chorean and independent authorities say that the Supreme Leader was in good health. Experts suggest that Cho had died an unexpected, accidental death, but do not know more about the specifics. The Chorean Revolutionary Party was unavailable for questions regarding so.

Cho's death marks a new chapter in the history of the East Chorean regime, as it is expected that, unlike when his father passed away in 1995, the regime might be in for a mass destabilization and inner power struggle, which could lead to many possibilities, regime collapse being inclusive.

East Chorea experts say that when Maximus died, preparations had already been made, for his son Pyong-chong to be the next leader. This had already been signaled in 1989, when Maximus chose Pyong-chong to become Premier. Therefore, despite all the economic difficulties, the regime was able to survive through political suppression of opponents and the new leader's broad knowledge of politics, which helped him keep an eye over his regime as well as exercise absolute control over his people.

In 2010, Cho Pyong-chong also chose his relatively young son, Cho Ding-pin, as Premier, showing that he is a certain candidate of succession, but such, experts claim, is not going to guarantee a smooth transition.

"Ding-pin does not know as much politics as his father or his grandfather," said Professor Harris Green in Olachoo, "Therefore, it is most likely that he will put one of East Chorea's top generals to run the country in his name, signalising a de facto end to the Cho Dynasty's rule, and the start of an absolute military junta."

Which is a grave problem, Green points out, as the top generals within the Chorean Red Army have had a history of inner power struggle, and, "if not observed carefully, could lead to armed conflict."

The Namorese Ministry of Chorean Affairs has yet to comment on this situation. A response will come in a few hours.

COMMENTS
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Comments (218)

JackWu (Olachoo, West Chorea) 325 likes, 14 dislikes
2 HOURS AGO
Hopefully the East Choreans would be smart enough not to use their nuclear arsenal on one another, for that would sure kill us.

Hector1950 (Industria, Greater Industria) 13 likes, 6 dislikes
3 HOURS AGO
i think cho pyong-chong died doing gangnam style...screw psy.

Odin Swidzarski (Bulasitan, Xhisin) 15 likes, 4 dislikes
7 HOURS AGO
Wat if we jest nuke them East Joreans first? Geez, no big prob.

by **Namor** » Tue Feb 19, 2013 7:21 pm

PRESIDENT SIGNS EXECUTIVE ORDER 755
Mandates that Jahisticism be tolerated nationwide

February 19, 2013 (2353)

NAMO---The Yunglang Antelope National Library in Namo, the country's largest library, was holding a reception today, where President-General Jamin Chen, accompanied by Vice President Txo Antelope; Minister of Communications Adam Anderson and head of the Jahistic Libertarian Party of Namor, Kim Myung-Bak, signed Executive Order 755, mandating that the whole country tolerate Jahisticism (Jarrod Thuman Thought) and lift all restrictions place on Jahisticist media, literature and other related works.

Effective immediately, the Hourglass
Symbol shall enjoy the same opportunities
and rights as the Hammer and Sickle
and the Star of Unity.

Chen explained why he did so during the reception.

He said that after Namor and the Jahistic Unified Republic (JUR) normalized relations, and after personal examination of the Firebrand (the JUR's official party newspaper) as well as the "Gold Book" (known within the JUR as On the Official Party Ideology), that restrictions caused by the Subversive Media Act of 1951 was unneccessary, as far as Thuman-leaning literature and works are concerned.

"Namor must realize that Jahisticism serves NO absolute threat to us, as opposed to Callahanism or Nazism," he told everyone at the reception, "Therefore, it should deserve equal tolerance as Liberationism, socialism or communism."

Although Jahisticism was never banned in Namor, local authorities have been known for constantly delaying their schedules on purpose to prevent Jahisticists from holding their rallies. People who ordered Jarrod Thuman's literary works online, moreover, usually see a note from the post office saying that "terrorist material" has been intercepted in their hands. Chen is calling for local authorities for "full tolerance" upon his signing of Order 755.

"We are a democratic nation," he said. "Banning harmless products like Jahisticism is what Luziycan Nazis do at a daily basis. Surely we're not like them. This can't go on, and it won't go on."

People lined up at the reception at the Library, where English, French and Chinese copies and audio version of Jarrod Thuman's "On the Party Ideology" were sold at a low price for R2 per copy---for the first time.

Residents have welcomed this news with positive thought.

"I might not like Jahisticism for its authoritarian beliefs," said Political Scientist Tzo Wang in a telephone interview with the Liberator, "But completely legalizing this ideology is another step forward in the process of our country's democratization."

Chen concluded the reception by congratulating the JLPN, and encouraged them to partake in Namor's next general election in 2015 (2355). He is scheduled to inform the Central Council, as well as the Jahistic government of this news.

IN OTHER NEWS...

Democratic Socialists expected to gain upper hand in 2015 general elections
Cho Ding-pin appointed leader of East Chorea, appoints fellow general as aide
Government says that democratization is Namor's number-one priority

COMMENTS
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Comments (145)

RepublicansSuckDick (Mojing, Namor) 211 likes, 5 dislikes
2 HOURS AGO
How proud are we to live in this people's republic, this democratic republic where even Jahisticist wackos are tolerated. NAMOR, FUCK YEH!

Merriana Hosbad (Sicho, Namo) 134 likes, 2 dislikes
3 HOURS AGO
Indeed, this is a great leap forward. Hopefully this will lead to the TOTAL repeal of the Subversive Media Act. After all, why should we *censor* material that we laugh at? Surely chen's not taking the humor from us?

Trish Cranmer (Namo, Namo) 97 likes, 45 dislikes
4 HOURS AGO
I wouldn't say that. Subversive Media Act, as much as you liberals hate it, is there to protect us from Nazi shit. I mean, why the fuck would anyone laugh at the Constitution? I mean, at least it was reliable on...the Swilatian school collapse? At least it makes FOX News look like an actual news source.

Mike Winter 5 HOURS AGO 2 likes 77 dislikes
5 HOURS AGO
Nah, Dagsrekord is most reliable.

by **Namor** » Wed Feb 20, 2013 7:35 pm

HISTORIAN STUDY ON REPUBLICAN RULE
Reveals that Jung To regime killed more than history books say

February 20, 2013 (2353)

NOZAMA CITY---Renowned historian Jackie Lee has published his long-awaited book, called Republican Terrorism. In it, Lee said, it revealed evidence that Jung To, Republican Dictator of Namor from 1925 to Liberation in 1950, killed more than 4 million people during his rule, as opposed to the 1.5 million people statistic issued by the Ministry of Demographics in 1982.

Lee explained that when the Ministry was calculating the number of people killed by Jung To back in the 1980s, they only counted those who were killed in concentration and labor camps set up across the country.

Lee claims that Jung To has killed more than
the people were taught he did

"Way more people were killed in suburban and rural areas, where landlords and pro-Republican political officers killed anyone who revolted against them," he told the Liberator. "The Ministry of Demographics did count some of these people, but not all of them."

Lee went across the country, collecting samples of people who were buried alive and killed in many other ways. It seems that, according to his research, Jung To had killed more people than Huswa Varanken of Luziyca and Manuel Agreste of pre-1917 Iglesiantis combined.

"The world needs to see the truth and confirm it and recognise it," Lee told the Liberator.

He is expected to attend a hearing in front of the Ministry of Demographics, hoping that they will confirm his research's validity.

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Comments (84)

Crazyboy (Namo, Namor) 135 likes 5 dislikes
2 HOURS AGO
man this tyrant killed more than hitler...

by **Namor** » Sat Feb 23, 2013 11:21 am

EAST CHOREAN REGIME IS NO MORE
WORLD WATCHES AS NEGOTIATIONS FOR NEW DEMOCRATIC REGIME COMMENCES, AND THEN BREAKS

February 23, 2013 (2353)

CHORYO (formerly Cho Maximus City)--- As of yesterday, the East Chorean regime's control over the capital Cho Maximus City has been wrestled away from rebels of many factions.

Chaos in Choryo: Jahistic rebels march the streets of downtown
Cho Maximus City.

A rightist rebel group, led by former East Chorean Party Official Bak Gi-jing, had just entered the outskirts of the capital city from the east just yesterday afternoon, followed by a liberal rebellion led by Ding Man-Sik, former Governor of the Pakju Commune, entering the city from the west, and a Jahistic faction led by former East Chorean Party official Chang Lee from the south.

The newly-proclaimed leader of East Chorea's communist regime, Cho Ding-pin, has been arrested by one of his fellow subordinates in a city hotel, while his regent, the top General Yang Ko Txi, has been sniped down and killed by a NPIB operative. This shook the East Chorean regime's structure for the very last time, as it can be confirmed now that it has collapsed top down.

The rebel attack on Cho Maximus City has led to the fall of 66 years of authoritarian rule over East Chorea, under the leadership of first Cho Maximus (from 1947 to 1995), his son Cho Pyong-chong (from 1995 to 2013), and, for a brief week or so, Cho Ding-pin. After decades of the East Chorean people themselves surrounding an elaborate personality cult around the Cho Dynasty, the future is uncertain.

The three rebel factions have agreed to negotiate in Cho Maximus Square, the country's largest public square. The capital city itself has been renamed to Choryo, like it was prior to the leftist coup back in 1947. The negotiations worked well, however the Jahistic side refused to back off, and in turn left the negotiation scene, reverting to violence. As a result, the negotiations as a whole broke down.

Despite promises for future negotiations, the warring rebels have not shown signs of giving up their possessions. Heated debates have arisen over how the new East Chorean government will function, who will lead it, and, most important of all, how to deal with other nations including Namor and Orientalia on the nation's long-unresolved nuclear weapons issue.

The Namorese government has shown its opposition to foreign military intervention into East Chorea as of now, saying that the "East Chorean people should manage their own affairs, after a long slumber."

But even the Namorese government or the Ministry of Chorean Affairs in Olachoo do not know what is in store for East Chorea and its people. Experts have outlined several possibilities.

Civil War: Tensions between the liberals, conservatives and Jahistics might lead to another armed internal civil struggle. If so, the international community is poised to intervene in East Chorea and send humanitarian aid to its people during such a war.
Four Party Talks: Talks might commence between the Namorese, Luziycans (who backed up the conservative rebels), the Jahistic Unified Republic and Orientalia, on how to resolve the East Chorea crisis.
Military intervention and Total Regional War: If the worst happens, East Chorea's people just might have to embrace an direct conflict between Bethlehem, Namo and Unolia.

by **Swilatia** » Sat Feb 23, 2013 9:29 pm

Swilatia wrote:The Time Cube
Reliable Lies and Propaganda since 1998

Lutheran Catholic Pope Glondbom assassinated!

Longfortian dictator-turned-pope Johand Glodbom was shot dead while giving a speech in the St Luther square. As he was shot early on in the speech, which was in Latin, we cannot currently determine whether the speech was religious or political in nature, or if communism was to be mentioned. Though CIA involvement is unlikely in this case, it cannot be ruled out.

The death of Pope John XXXII does however mean that a new pope must be chosen. Unlike the selection of the president of Luziyca, which is carefully engineered to resemble a democratic election, the pope of the Lutheran Catholic church is chosen in a much more simple way, without any of the intricacies of a presidential election. Instead, the pope is chosen by a small group of cardinals who all meet in one room. However, with one person needing the same overwhelming majority expected of a Whig Party presidential candidate, and no set list of candidates, it may very well take much longer to pick a pope than a president of Luziyca.

Nevertheless, our experts have compiled a list of 4 people they consider likely candidates

Neyuzki Minhale (Sarleneska)
One obvious successor would have been another recently deposed dictator, Neyuzki Gim, but after having been executed, he is perhaps no longer a viable candidate for the papacy. However, his first son, Neyuzki Minhale, might as well be chosen, having been cheated out of his chance to become the supreme leader of Sarleneska. Like Glondbom before him, he managed to become a devout Lutheran Catholic and eventually a cardinal, just in time for his father's tyrannical, Luziycan-backed regime to be overthrown. Nevertheless, this all might make him seem too much like the boring, obvious choice. They could do better.

Varyvel Tesnala (Igleisiantis)
Varyvel Tesnala is the leader of the Iglesian Hope party, a political party in Iglesiantis which stands for almost everything common Iglesians oppose. Nevertheless, somebody as to be tasked with the difficult job of spreading Luziycan values in a land so hostile to them. Whatever his chances of being elected pope actually are, they must be greater than those of him or any other member of his party being elected to public office. One notable advantage of him becoming pope is that Iglesian hope will be without a leader until they can gather enough members to organise their own conclave.

Sorna Letivenko (Luziyca)
A true Luziycan hero, Sorna Letivenko saved the thankless masses of Cernograd Halicki from a petty shoplifter who had committed such grotesque crimes against humanity as stealing a pack of crisps and a bottle of soda. Unfortunately for Sorna, Swilatians generally prefer that punishments be decided by judges and not police officers, leading him to be suspended from his job, with the possibility of termination. Nevertheless, he probably deserves recognition for his bold attempts to spread Lutheran Catholic values in one of the least religious countries in the world, and may need a new job soon, too.

Robert Kawese (Bulundia)
Probably the most divisive figure on our list, Robert Kawese has made some very controversial statements in support of anti-gay legislation in Bulundia, claiming that homosexuality is "against human nature" and "a threat to life itself". Though in recent years the Lutheran Catholic church has distanced itself from such statements, focusing instead on the much greater evils of social welfare and progressive taxation. Still he may yet win support from the more conservative cardinals, while more progressive ones might jump at the chance to elect a non-white pope. In a true miracle, he may win by uniting people of different stances with his divisiveness.

About me · by **Luziyca** » Sat Feb 23, 2013 9:56 pm

Pope John XXXII assassinated

Pope John XXXII died at the age of 75 years old

BETHLEHEM, LUZIYCA - Yesterday, at 11:13 am, Pope John XXXII, formerly known as Johand Glondbom died after an assassin murdered him whilst he made a speech at the balcony of the Saint Luther's Basilica. He had been pope since December 2011, and from 1977 to 2012, led West Longfort, but for a few months in 2012, led both sides as a single united Longfort.

At the age of 75, he would turn 76 this year. When he was 74, he was elected as Pope, upon the wishes of the previous conclave. That means for this upcoming conclave, there has been a list of favorites to be considered by the Conclaves, a list of papabili to become a successor for the Pope. It is widely predicted that a Pope shall be elected prior to Easter.

The list of papabili, are as follows, based on chance of him winning the conclave, according to our research

Cardinal Minhale Neyuzki - 39 years old - Sarleneska
Cardinal Herod Wilhem - 58 years old - Luziyca
Cardinal Emmanuel Doe - 61 years old - Kofeiya
Cardinal Robert Kawase - 68 years old - Bulundia
Cardinal David Petrov - 73 years old - Luziyca
Cardinal Hugh Williams - 74 years old - Luziyca
Cardinal Mohmata Singh - 56 years old - Inyesula
Cardinal Gustav Albard - 54 years old - Luziyca
Cardinal Valentin Dolores - 51 years old - Nikojlacka
Cardinal Lu Chung-So - 65 years old - Huangchin

The top ten contenders are likely expected to be chosen, but is likely going to change. The youngest cardinal, Minhale Neyuzki, is 39 years old, but is number one to be expected to become Pope. We wish the best, and may the next Pope not get assassinated.

by **Namor** » Sun Feb 24, 2013 3:03 pm

THIRD GREAT WAR?
Namorese send Expeditionary Peacekeeping Force to press all sides to negotiation

February 24, 2013 (2353)

EAST CHOREA---As the situation in East Chorea is intensifying, and negotiations between the Liberals, Conservatives and Jahistics are reaching a breaking point, the Namorese Liberation Army, at the orders of President Jamin Chen, has sent a 700-man Peacekeeping Expeditionary Force to press East Chorea's conservative regime into negotiating with the international community.

NLA soldiers have been preparing for all-out combat amid the recent
situation in East Chorea.

The President has already sought approval from the Central Council to do so. Minister of Defence Jaron Txo appeared in front of media outlets this evening, explaining the situation.

"We are not declaring war on anyone," he said, "but unfortunately the East Chorean conservative rebels, led by Bak Gi-Jing, has refused to negotiate, and has fired the first bullet on their fellow people. That is an act of cowards, trying to spark armed conflict when negotiations are possible. What Bak is doing is threatening not only East Chorea's future, but our national security. We see no reason why we shouldn't act."

Over 10,000 troops from both the Greater Industria and Olachoo Military Regions have been put on alert, while 700 troops have joined the Peacekeeping Force, and are already completing their peacekeeping mission. Their goal is to force the conservative rebels into negotiating with the rest of the East Chorean leaders, and to keep order within East Chorea at the same time.

The Peacekeeping Force will also give humanitarian aid to everyday East Chorean citizens at the same time.

The President's Cabinet has dismissed all claims of this police action as total declaration of war against Luziyca, Hippostania, and claims that this action was an invitation for military intervention from the ACA.

"Namor loves peace," said Minister Txo in the press conference, "and it is our duty to preserve peace in our neighbor, which had just escaped the chains of oppression."

He has also expressed concerns over the conservatives' support of the Luziycan regime.

"We do not intervene in the affairs of other nations for no reason," he told the Liberator, "but the Luziycans are backing up this regime in their long-term plan to overthrow and destabilise us. That is unacceptable, so therefore we're retaliating. We don't want another Txotai."

Some units of the Peacekeeping Force will land on conservative-controlled territory, while others will enter Choryo, where they will resume their peacekeeping missions.

by **Namor** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 7:44 pm

"UNOLIA, HERE I COME!"
President-Elect pays historic visit to the Jahistic Unified Republic

February 25, 2013 (2353)

UNOLIA, JUR---President-Elect Alicia Wolf, heading the Namorese diplomatic delegation, has begun her week-long visit to The Jahistic Unified Republic, a capitalist "Thumanist" state which has closed its borders to "socialist" nations like Namor. For a whole decade, the new regime's policies of anarcho-capitalism and constant purging of "public enemies" has even alienated it from other rightist nations like Luziyca and Hippostania.

Jahistic Youth members await as Wolf, situated within the Air
Namor plane, lands in Unolia for the first time.

Wolf's visit to the JUR would've not been possible without President-General Jamin Chen's tireless efforts to restore diplomatic ties with that island country. She was accompanied by Foreign Affairs Tzo To as well as her husband and children.

Stepping foor on Unolian soil, the President-Elect was welcomed by crowds of energetic Jahistic Youth, and, for the first time since the Thumanist revolution, a Namorese leader shook the hands of Chairman Jarrod Thuman, as well as other leaders of the Jahistic Libertarian Party, Unolia's ruling party since the coup. After that, the Namorese were escorted to the Hall of the Unolian legislature, known better as the Assembly of the People, where the meeting officially began.

Wolf promised better relations between Namor and the JUR, even during the start of her administration, which starts May Day.

"It was President Jamin Chen, a known expert in the field of diplomacy, with the help of his cabinet and I, who helped save this situation. Under his diplomatic initiative for Namor to establish relations with even the most extreme of governments, Namor has completed normalization of relations with Unolia. I am happy to see this," she addressed the Unolian leaders.

Wolf also broke the ice between the countries by encouraging a brighter future of cooperation.

"Let me tell you this: here in Namor we sing the Internationale too, only the socialist way. We sing different versions of the Internationale, and convey different views through them, but if we hum it then where's the difference? We're still united by this hymn. Our peoples both want the same thing for the world: justice and the spread of liberty and happiness. That's why we have the Internationale," she went on.

The Unolian counterparts, headed by no one but the Chairman himself, also had nice words in exchange.

"We are a peaceful people with only peaceful purposes and I think that now is the time we show our peaceful intent," he told his Namorese guests, "I have made it clear my intent to normalize relations with the People's Republic of Namor and I give thanks to their benevolence for accepting the idea of normalization. We hope to establish normalization and friendships with most nations of the world, no matter Capitalist or Socialist or Conservative or Liberal. I again wish to thank you all for being here and witnessing history."

Indeed, it was history in the making. International relations experts have never expected that a rogue capitalist regime would EVER establish relations with a nation that seemingly has opposing views, but it happened. Shocked was International Studies Expert Ryan Kim.

"This is shocking," he agreed with the Liberator, "and it also shows that the Unolians' foreign policy is finally beginning to shift to a more diplomatic status."

What wasn't shocking, said Kim, was that the paranoid that had existed between the two countries had finally thawed.

"Whenever a new regime is installed, there is paranoid," he told the Liberator. "The JUR is no exception at all. But as Thuman begins to realize that international cooperation translates to more respect for his leadership over the Unolian people, then the paranoid begins to fade away."

We here at the Liberator wish a prosperous relation between the Namorese People's Republic and the Jahistic Unified Republic for centuries to come. We also wish good luck to Speaker Wolf in her talk with the Unolians, and, ultimately, wish Chairman Jarrod Thuman and his administration good luck in running the country, for years to come.

by **Namor** » Fri Mar 01, 2013 8:21 pm

NAMOR RECOGNIZES DMLO AS LEGIT ONDEREAN REPRESENTATIVES, AND CAPELAND REGIME AS ONDEREA'S LEGITIMATE GOVERNMENT

March 1, 2013 (2353)

NAMO---The Ministry of Foreign Affairs has affirmed Namor's official diplomatic stance regarding the problem of recognition of Capeland-Onderea, formerly a colony of Hippostania which surprisingly was granted independence--an act usually not done by Waverley.

After the DMLO, or the Democratic Movement for the Liberation of Onderea, a group-in-exile that has combatted Hippostanian prescence in their country, changed its stance of total independence to ending the apartheid, fascist and white supreamacist policies of the new Wesley Horton regime of Capeland, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs has agreed to grant the DMLO the status of the sole legitimate representatives of the Onderean people; while, at the same time, granting the newly-founded Republic of Capeland government the title of Onderea's sole legitimate government.

Namorese government has given
dual recognition to the DMLO and
the Russelville regime

A complicated stance indeed, but the Ministry says not.

According to this stance, the Namorese government will, from now on, consult with DMLO's leaders regarding issues of the Onderean people, while consulting with the Capeland regime at the same time regarding Onderea's national defense and economy, which is controlled by the Russelville government.

The Namorese government has called for the new Capeland regime to stop its human rights abuses towards Onderea's black majority, and, at the same time, urged the DMLO is take peaceful measures--akin to Nelson Mandela of South Africa--to bring an end to white supreamacism and fascism in the former Hippostanian colony. The Liberator wishes equality to come to Onderea soon.

by **Radiatian Esquarium** » Sun Mar 10, 2013 12:48 am

KÄRTSY NEPULA WINS LCP PRIMARY IN RADIATIAN ESQUARIUM
PICKS UP SIX DELEGATES FOR LIBERAL-CONSERVATIVE NATIONAL CONVENTION

March 10th LET 48 Last updated 20:28 Exegrad Standard Time

OCULA, RADIATIAN ESQUARIUM
Kärtsy Nepula has won the Liberal-Conservative Party primary in Radiatian Esquarium, picking up an extra 6 delegates to take back with him to the upcoming Liberal-Conservative National Convention in Latiso, Amentra.

_{Elduran Premier Kärtsy Nepula has won the
LCP Primary in Radiatian Esquarium}

Around 70 registered members of the Liberal-Conservative Party met in a bar in Ocula, where they selected 6 delegates, all of whom stated they would support Premier Nepula.

Kärtsy Nepula, the Premier of the state of Eldura managed to beat out his rival Vladimir Perry - the libertarian former Premier of Alayenia - to gain the territory's delegates.

"We all discussed and debated long and hard about this," Said Dr. Wiremu Otahuhu, chairman of the local LCP. "Originally we considered Premier Perry given that this is a very libertarian-leaning island. But ultimately we determined that it is Premier Nepula who has the best chance of defeating Keldon Silviu, and that his policies on the economy and on national security will benefit Radiatian Esquarium the most."

Premier Nepula made a flying visit to the island, and spoke to local Liberal-Conservatives.

"As the Premier of a state that was once a territory similar to you, I understand the uncertainty that you feel whenever an election comes around," He said. "I give you my assurance that when I'm elected, I will protect Radiatian Esquarium as much as I would protect Eldura, or Alayenia, or Chongluntz or any other part of the Radiatian Federation."

It is rare for citizens of Radiatian Esquarium to register with the Liberal-Conservative Party, or with the Social Democratic Union, as local elected officials don't tend to run on party lines.

Along with Radiatian Caprecia, Radiatian Esquarium sends delegates to the Liberal-Conservative and Social Democratic National Conventions, although the number of delegates is considerably smaller than the number sent by states.

Premier Nepula has currently amassed 1,294 delegates. He requires 1,500 delegates to gain the Liberal-Conservative Party nomination to run as President of the Radiatian Federation.

Radiatian Esquarium is an unincorporated territory of the Radiatian Federation, located in the region of Esquarium. Although its inhabitants are Radiatian citizens, they are not entitled to vote in a Presidential election until the territory gains full statehood.

Liberal-Conservative Primary Results:

Candidate	Home State	States carried	Delegate count	Popular vote
Premier Kärtsy Nepula	Eldura	17	1,294	47%
Premier Vladimir Perry	Alayenia	12	989	43%
Minister Rory Schmitz	Garotch	0	0	5%
Senator Alexander Ivanov	Alayenia	0	0	4%
Speaker Angela Pavlovic	Clode	0	0	1%

-RPNN

by **Geadland** » Thu Mar 14, 2013 5:23 pm

Enrume Ogen, a satirical newspaper, reports
NEW POPE FORGIVES MOLESTED CHILDREN
Clerics hail radical departure from previous doctrines

Following his election to the papacy, Pope Stephen V has announced he would forgive the children who were molested by his predecessor, Pope "Genocide" John XXXII as his first action in office.

The election was conducted over several days in a closed-off chapel in order to ensure as much transparency as possible and reduce the risk of fraud in the vote counting.

"One of my acts as pope will be to break with the tradition of ranting about dirty communists as my first action in office, although there will be plenty of time for that," said Stephen "We are faced with having to come to terms with some terrible crimes which have embarassed and damaged the Church," he said, referring to the the revelation that "Genocide" John, besides being a genocidal maniac and mass murderer who ate poor people for breakfast, he also molested children. As Stephen admitted "He hated and killed thousands of people, but he always loved children. Unfortunately, this turned out to be more literal than we thought."

No sooner had he been elected, Stephen has embarked on a mission of reconciliation and he met with some of the children who received the 'father's blessing' from "Genocide" John. "The Bible says God provides us forgiveness for all non-communist evil we do. In the name of the most gracious father, I forgive you all for what your sins," said the Pope to the children. "You were too young perhaps, you did not know what you were doing when you seduced "Genocide" John. Now go and sin on more - I mean, go and sin no more..."

Sornov Meskorov, the highest-ranked Geadish cleric in the Lutheran Catholic Church, has said that "The Pope has shown true Christian kindness in forgiving those children. This is a radical departure from previous Lutheran Catholic doctrine, where seducing a cleric was considered a terrible crime against God, punishable by burning in Hell in eternity. But Pope Stevan V has shown great forgiveness, just as Jesus did to the tax collectors and whores he met in the Karshev's shop in Danzig." He agreed that the Pope's actions were a sign that he would prove a more liberal pontiff than his genocidal predecessor. "Sooner or later he might actually start reading the Bible."

About me · by **Luziyca** » Thu Mar 14, 2013 7:28 pm

Pope Stephan V elected, first non-white Pope

Stephan V is the first Pope to come from Bulundia, as well as the first black pope.

BETHLEHEM, LUZIYCA - Yesterday, at 1:39 pm, white smoke rose from the chimney, symbolizing that a new Pope has been elected, and at 2:00 pm, Cardinal Robert Kawase (Bulundia) was presented, as Pope Stevan V, at the balcony of St. Luther's Basilica, facing a massive crowd that traveled here to witness the new Pope taking power.

At the age of 68, he was a papabile, slightly below Cardinal Emmanuel Doe, from Kofeiya, who was a contender to become the first non-white Pope in the history of the Lutheran Catholic Church. He gained 66% of the vote, approximately 2/3rds of the vote cast by cardinals. It took twenty rounds of voting, spread over 5 days, at the Church of the Nativity.

In Luziyca, many welcomed the new Pope, and many wished him well in his tenure as Pope of the Lutheran Catholic Church. The President had this to say:

"I fully respect the choice of the Cardinals to elect Stephan V as Pope of the Lutheran Catholic Church, and I sincerely pray, that the Lord will bless him with a long life, and a steady hand to guide this new Pope."

Despite some criticism by white supremacist groups who argue that "it is illegitimate, since niggers are UNABLE to rule as Pope, let alone ANY position of INFLUENCE," a Gallup poll has shown that 71% of all Luziycans approve of the decision to elect Stephan V as Pope of the Lutheran Catholic Church. Another poll, conducted by LRT showed 83% supported the decision to elect him as Pope.

Esquarium Today [Regional News, CLOSED]

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