Esquarium Today [Regional News, CLOSED]

by **The Jahistic Unified Republic** » Tue Apr 30, 2013 1:39 pm

URGENT: JARROD THUMAN TO STEP DOWN AS CHAIRMAN OF JLP

Jahistic Year 10

IN OTHER NEWS
Alicia Wolf sworn in as President of PRN, vows Great Leap Forward, end of Capitalism.
Hitlay delivers letter of friendship to Wolf, expresses concern after the fact
JLF Mobilized due to Peitoa aggression, Thuman resignation
Hitlay promises to complete the Revolution, make Thuman proud

A press secretary from the Jahistic Libertarian Party has told The Firebrand that Our Beloved Leader and Teacher, Jarrod Thuman has been formally diagnosed with liver cancer, confirming Namorese speculation from their official state media outlets early yesterday. The announcement comes after months of speculation from members of the JLP and the JUR. His health has been up and down since the Fourth Party Congress in January, but he had seemed well when he received then President-Elect Alicia Wolf a month ago. He had even went out to an Ambassador concert five weeks ago.

Jarrod Thuman has been ordered by his doctor to retire from politics all together, but he will remain a ranking member of the Standing Committee. He has expressed his desire for Shawn Hitlay to succeed him, and it looks like that will be happening. Despite his doctor's pleas, the JNC and AotP are working together to amend the Constitution to separate the Presidency from the AotP and declare Thuman President of the JUR in what would be a mostly ceremonial role.

The Jahistic Youth Corps and Youth Without Borders have gathered in small crowds in Revolutionary Square, talking to each other. The lingering question on everybody's minds: "What's next?" What is next for the Jahistic movement? Will Hitlay continue the worldwide revolution? Will Hitlay have his own expansion of Voluntarism-Capitalism? The response was mixed among the young people.

A JYC we talked to had an optimistic viewpoint of the entire situation. "Chairman Thuman's revolutionary spirit is still alive. I know he will get better and return to his post. The Revolution needs him. We need him." A YWB, sobbing, had only thanks to give to the Chairman. "I am not a JLP member, but his Theological essays helped me grow in my faith in God. I just want to thank him for making life alot more easier for me!"

Hitlay is expected to take office as Chairman as soon as May Day. He will be leading the annual May Day rally. Chairman Thuman sent out a message via social media, not mentioning his illness. He wished the new Namorese President, Alicia Wolf, luck and wisdom in leading the large nation. Grace Aliah-Thuman is allegedly ready to resign from her political positions to spend more time with her husband. She sent out a simple message saying "Prayers needed, please." Ryan Thuman sent out his first message from an unknown location, saying that he will return to the Capital to see his father for the first time in a couple of months.

As for the JYC and YWB, they sang the New Internationale in honor of Thuman in an emotional show of affection.

Jahistic Handball Federation
Doves def. Phalanx (29-28), Tikis def. Rhinos (33-26), Airmen def. Dockmen (28-21), Seagulls def. Surfers (29-27), Cardinals def. Knights (30-28), Merchants def. Bulldogs (28-24)

by **Peitoa** » Tue Apr 30, 2013 3:37 pm

---BEGINNING OF TRANSMISSION---

THE VOICE OF FREE NAMOR
News brought to you by the fine Republic itself

The Great Chancellor attends International Freedom Day celebrations in Novi Namor

Great Chancellor Jack Lo issued a speech to his fellow Namorese today, saying that "Christ shall not let Alicia Wolf's communist bandits live a long life"

NOVI NAMOR, PEITOA PROVINCE, REPUBLIC OF NAMOR: As the communists occupying the mainland are celebrating the illegal "inauguration" of Alicia Wolf, who will lead the Red Namorese leadership for the rest of her life, true Namorese are turning their attention to Novi Namor in Peitoa, where International Freedom Day is being celebrated by the people of Namor as well as the Government of Free Namor.

International Freedom Day was designated by Eternal Generalissimo Jung To to be on the First of May back in NMR 2291, shortly after the communists betrayed the nation by taking over the mainland. Freedom Day is when the people of the world look back at the atrocities committed by communism, socialism or anything left. It is also a time for all Free Namorese to remember the millions who died under the blood-stained rule of Yunglang Antelope and his successors.

Since the relocation to Peitoa, Freedom Day celebrations have been an annual tradition. This year, it is no different.

The masses cheered as Chancellor Jack Lo and the Central Committee of the Republic of Namor entered the rostrum of the Peitoan Provincial House. The masses are determined to carry forth the struggle against the communists which our Eternal Generalissimo Jung To and the Eternal President Jung Ki started, and that spirit was seen on the looks of their smiling faces. Also attending the ceremonies were the Luziycan, Zokorian and Hippostanian ambassadors to Namor.

The Great Chancellor kicked the ceremonies off by issuing a prayer and a public speech. During the prayer session, he asked for the Lord's assistance in driving off the communists from the country and reinstating a free and democratic Namor. The speech then began with the Chancellor reaffirming the stance of the Namorese people, who are firmly resolute to fight for the freedom their compatriots on the mainland have lost for over sixty years. He gave his prayers for those around the world living under communist oppression as well.

"Christ shall not let Alicia Wolf and her 'government' live a long life," he told the people.

The ceremony then began with the National Army showing off its latest tactics. Show after show, the Chancellor and the masses applauded the Army and its efforts in protecting the dignity of the Namorese nation and doing whatever it can to re-unite Namor under the principles of Callahanism-Jungtoism. People can be seen shouting slogans wishing the Republican Party, State and the Republican Cause a long life, and giving their blessings to the Eternal Generalissimo, Eternal President and, finally, the Great Chancellor.

The Chancellor finished the ceremonies by warning the Communist Namorese authorities that any act of aggression against its own people--or the free Republic--shall be dealt by any neccessary measures. Long live the Republic of Namor! Down with Alicia Wolf and her 'government,' which is only a servant boy to Soviet Russia (up until NMR 2331), and currently Red Swilatia and Iglesiantis! May God destroy the bandits and restore the fine Republic! Liberty and Justice for all!

---END OF TRANSMISSION---

by **Namor** » Wed May 01, 2013 12:44 pm

THE PICKLE
:lol2:

Esquariums' FINEST news source (seriously) :lol2:

"GREAT LEAP FORWARD 2" RELEASED!
Maoists camping out on April 30 to get new video game

President "Canus Lupus" Wolf releases long-awaited sequel to "Great Leap Foward 1," which is "Great Leap Forward 2." The game's caption reads: "ARE YOU READY TO GET HUNGRYYY?"

NAMO, NAMOR - Now that Alicia "Canus Lupus" Wolf is inaugurated as president of Namor, the whole world can now play the rated-R game "Great Leap Forward 2," coming to a commune near you.

Wolf is not only a politician, but a renowned video game designer, famous for her design of "Great Leap Foward," a rated-R game which enabled players to kill Luziycans, Zokorians and Unolians through hunger and starvation, that being done through the communization and militarization of villages and towns. "Great Leap Forward 1," released in 1958, was sold out by 1962. The game was a huge success, and was quickly sold out. Mao Tse-Tung Jr., a Chinese guy, recalled the time when he was informed that he had the highest score in the game---Mr. Mao killed over 45 million people in only four years in his game. That was after Mao purchased "Great Leap Forward" from his mansion in Hunan.

Runner-ups were Jarrod Thuman (who was only two million people short of Mao), Stalin (five million short of Mao), and Mickey Mouse (thirty million short of Mao, damnit!)

Now that Wolf has released "Great Leap Foward 2," Mao is eager to play it.

"Can't wait to starve these mudafucking capitalists to death," said he to the Pickle. "I'm shooting for 100 million people. How 'bout you?"

Outside of Namo's GameStop, hundreds and thousands of Maoists and other enthusiastic gamers camped out to receive the first few versions of "Great Leap Forward 2." The new game, according to President Wolf, enables players to nationalize companies, control the industry and shove all the laissez-faire capitalists into Nanniwan, which she described as a high-security prison.

"It also enables players to play against each other, to see who can kill the most number of people!" cried Wolf in a "Great Leap Foward 2" advertisement. "Get it now!"

The game, according to many newspapers, was what helped Wolf defeat Chen in the NMR 2353 elections. Of course, Chen didn't know how to assemble a video game.

by **Iglesian Archipelago** » Wed May 01, 2013 1:07 pm

Yareva
Informasya

Celebrations of May Day in Iglesiantis

It is 1st May, 2013, a holiday in Iglesiantis, and there it is electoral campaign. Celebrations of the 1st May happen everywhere in Iglesiantis, and also, there have been protests against the austerity measures controversially applied by Yaryna Vyelaya's government, which had much right-wing support for a centre-left government coalition.

Four parties made their meetings Los Vientos on May Day: the Socialist Party, the Anarchist Movement, the Iglesian Democratic Party and the Iglesian Communist Party. The half belonging to the government coalition said that "the Iglesian workers are working hard on countering the problems of austerity" (Yaryna Vyelaya, PS/Socialist Party), while reiterating that "some austerity has had to be applied, otherwise the Iglesian economy wouldn't recover much in the next years" (Ana Terkytsa, PEI/Iglesian Democratic Party). The half belonging to the opposition has not forgiven austerity, and believes that "there should be a new 3rd March" (Mayel Kertykaya, MA/Anarchist Movement) and that "the rise of the workers is about to come" (Meryala Vyeltyna, PKI/Iglesian Communist Party).

The Los Vientos Indignates, a non-partisan movement which was formed after the Yaryna Vyelaya's government announced plans for austerity, protested on 3rd March Avenue in Los Vientos against the measures applied by the government and asked for an alternative to austerity. "When will this end? When will there be an alternative to this pact of aggression?", a protester from the movement says.

The trade unions KGPI (General Confederation of the Iglesian Workers), UGP (General Union of Workers), UPSI (Union of Iglesian Socialist Workers) and FASP (Anarcho-Syndicalist Front of Workers) have all speeched against austerity in Los Vientos, Irana, Helvineya and Akatna, respectively.

The opponents to Yaryna Vyelaya's government have echoed several significant people's declarations, like considering austerity as a "pact of aggression", as said by PKI's Meryala Vyeltyna, and assuming "this government was sold to the right-wing influence", as said by MA's Mayel Kertykaya.

May Day in 2013 has been perhaps one of the most active in Iglesiantis, because it happens during electoral campaign and because it happens in the middle of the austerity controversy.

Comments (1108)

Mayel Nurtensaya
Good luck on May Day! +7 -1

AnarchistLover114
long live the anarchist movement! 5 MAY 2013 WE WILL WIN THE ELECTIONS! +5 -5

Varyvela Kerintaya
The first time an electoral campaign occurs during May Day in Iglesiantis... +9 -2

Mayel Nurtensaya
Wake up, Iglesiantis! All of this is happening days before the elections take place. And I'm terribly indignated that the polls say the Anarchist Movement is leading them with absolute majority! This is outrageous! Why did 3rd March happen, that's what I don't get! Iglesiantis is already an anarchy! Please, people, don't get influenced by those communist terrorists and make your voice heard. The Anarchist Movement is, though indirectly, supporting violence, chaos and destruction. Make your choice, seriously! +4 -15

8infinite8
There are people here who say anarchism is synonymous with destruction... no, that's not true! You seem to support that recent Ebycenian anti-anarchism law which outlaws anarchism altogether, and that generated lots of indignation within Ebycene.

I am anarchist (oh, and I'm from Akatna

), anyway. +11 -5

Yaryna Kyntsa
Long live 1 Maya! May Day is a revolutionary holiday and may we keep it for years to come. +12 -6

ANTICOMMUNISTHIPPOSTANIANWANNABE
These people have the mania of knowing everything, these leftists...! I don't even understand why Iglesiantis is perhaps the country in the world with the largest number of supportives of anarchism! +5 -13

yarel8940
May the people gain power again in Iglesiantis! Yaryna Vyelaya's government was sold to the right-wing, really. +8 -8

See more comments

by **Peitoa** » Wed May 01, 2013 5:56 pm

---BEGINNING OF TRANSMISSION---

THE VOICE OF FREE NAMOR
News brought to you by the fine Republic itself

Namorese Government orders expulsion of Unolian citizens residing in Peitoa Province

The Free Namorese Government has passed a resolution that reveals the true colors of the revisionist Jahistics in Unolia

NOVI NAMOR, PEITOA PROVINCE, REPUBLIC OF NAMOR: Angered by the sudden change of heart within the Unolians, who were formerly one of the freest countries in Esquarium, the Government of the Republic of Namor, under the guidance of the Great Chancellor Jack Lo, has decided that all Unolians in Peitoa be revoked of their trading rights, and be deported back to their communist, leftist homeland.

This announcement was made after Jack Lo condemned Unolia's recent motives that went in favor with the communist bandits illegally occupying Namor since NMR 2290. Three months ago, the sheer motives of the Red Namorese were able to convince "rightist 'revolutionary'" Jarrod Thuman to switch recognition from the Republic of Namor to the bandits.

The Unolians continued to betray the national cause, accepting a state visit from communist "president" Alicia Wolf, agreeing to a "non-agression treaty" and a "cooperation clause," all of which are ulteriorly directed at the Namorese people in their fair struggle against communist occupation in their country.

This proves once again that Jarrod Thuman is a traitor, a traitor who Christ cannot forgive and must destroy. Thuman is not a "soldier of Christ" as the wicked self claims, but rather a communist, a proud communist who uses "rightism" and "revolution" as facades to cover up his connections with Satan, Lenin, Stalin, and Mao Tse-Tung.

All Namorese--as well as the freedom-loving people of this world--cannot forgive Thuman's satanic and barbaric acts, either, for what Thuman had done put over eight hundred million people at a disadvantage. Heaven cannot possibly allow Thuman to defect to the communist camp.

But it is not only the Namorese people that are detesting Thuman's defection. The Zokorian government has also noted the recent revisionist crimes done by Thuman; combined, the number of crimes committed by this wicked "rightist" regime is capable of forming a book consisting of ten thousand pages.

And so the National Government orders that all Unolians be expelled from Peitoa Province, until the Unolians apologize for their satanic and barbaric acts and stop all acts of provocation against the Namorese people. If their 'government' refuses to do so, then the first thing we shall see is Christ returning to earth and bringing that sham rightist to the deepest gorges of Hell.

---END OF TRANSMISSION---

by **Namor** » Fri May 03, 2013 3:14 pm

CULT LEADER SHOOTS HIMSELF WITH FLAMETHROWER
"Crazy Cao" commits suide, last words reported to be: "Wolf is a lesbian, I can't live under her rule"

Cao "Crazy Cao" Ni Ma, supreme head of the Wasabi Temple, flame threw himself to express his distrust of the new administration

May 3, NMR 2353 (Gregorian)
Twenty-third Day of the Third Month (Namorese)
Thirteenth Day of the Grain Rain

SOMAROMA, EAST NOZAMA - Authorities were called in after Cao Ni Ma, referred to everyone as "Crazy Cao," engulfed himself in flames with a flame thrower. The fire department came, extinguished Cao, who was killed right at the spot.

IN OTHER NEWS:
BREAKING: Unolia
invades Peitoa due to ideological split

Wolf spends first day of presidency swimming
in Executive House pool

Pollen levels reach new high across East
Namor, citizens advised to take precautional
measures

According to eyewitnesses, Cao strolled next to a lake with a M2 flamethrower in his hand, and then shouted, "God hates this cruel world, for Wolf is in power. Wolf is a lesbian, I can't live under her rule." Then he engulfed himself in flames.

"Crazy Cao" is the supreme leader of the Wasabi Temple, a religious cult known for its hatred towards LGBTs, women, and anything non-Namorese, founded in NMR 2332 after Cao gave his first speech that attacked gays in a church in his native Sicho.

The Wasabi Temple gained tens of followers, especially from socially conservative communities in Southwest and Xhisin. Since then, Cao has given over hundreds of speeches, preaching that all gays were "inferior" to the "master straight people," and that homosexuality was the act of Satan; moreover, Cao's hate speech has sparked much controversy, as he has been the target of thousands of lawsuits. Fortunately for the 53 year-old cult leader and his adherents, the courts have always found his acts non-aligned with any violation of law, and was released by authorities.

Ever since Wolf won the presidential elections, Crazy Cao has grown verbally threatening as ever. According to Cao's neighbor, Loon Son, "that guy, once hearing that Wolf won, stormed into his house and locked himself in there for 48 hours straight...he looked depressed." After that, Cao headed to the Wasabi Temple's headquarters---a small vacant church in the small town of Somaroma---where he began preaching ridiculous stuff.

"Heaven hates Alicia Wolf, and wants her to burn in Hell," Cao said in one of his recent sermons to his followers numbering around fifty. "The end of Namor and the apocalyse is near with her stepping to power. I just paid a visit to my old science teacher, who said that when she comes to power, the planets will align, and three hundred thousand meteors will collide with the earth, and it'll be doomsday. We cannot have women in power, nor can we have lesbians in power." Despite these claims, Wolf was never a lesbian, for she has a husband and a "proper" family.

In December, Cao wrote an angry letter to the Democratic Socialist Party headquarters, asking Wolf to "step down, repent, or else." Since then, nothing has been heard from the cult leader until now.

---PTH/RTN

by **Namor** » Sat May 04, 2013 6:43 pm

ELECTIONS OF THE 13TH CENTRAL COUNCIL COMMENCE
Close competition between Liberationists, Democratic Socialists and Jahistics projected

All Namorese are now electing their representatives in the 13th Central Council, which will replace the 12th Council on May 6, NMR 2353

May 4, NMR 2353 (Gregorian)
Twenty-fourth Day of the Third Month (Namorese)
Fourteenth Day of the Grain Rain

SPECIAL REPORT

CENTRAL COUNCIL, NAMO - Many Namorese showed up at their assigned polltaking centers across the country to take part in the Elections for the 13th Central Council of the People's Republic of Namor, which always happen shortly after a new president is inaugrated.

Kim Myung-Bak says he is not
accepting defeat in the NMR
2353 Elections.

This year's elections are going to be closely observed, as it is the first time the Jahistic-Capitalist People's Party (JCPP), formed through a merger between the Capitalist Party and the Union of Jarrod Thuman Thought, is entering the election as the head of the opposing Namorese Right.

Kim Myung-Bak, Chairman of the new party, said that this year's elections was "an opportunity that cannot be turned away."

We have to spread the Capitalist Revolution peacefully to a land that has never experienced it before. It is the Central Council or bust. We are going to rock this election and get over with it!

The Jahistics have been staging small-scale rallies across the country, mainly in their "safe areas" in Namo and Mojing. They have been passing out leaflets encouraging everyday people to vote for their own party.

"Do you want a free market?" read a pamphlet issued by the Jahistics, "Do you want more freedoms? An end to a huge government? The Jahistic Party is your party. Vote Yellow on for the 13th Central Council."

Other parties have been preparing for the elections, especially the "endangered" parties: the Communist Party and the People's First Coalition. Both parties are following the Jahistics' lead, staging rallies and giving speeches to citizens. Noah Polinsky, senior chairman of the Communist Party, made his first public appearance since his defeat in the Presidential Elections, speaking to labor unions in Nozama City.

The spirit of the workers are indestructible, not even by elections! We will fight for the Central Council, and break apart the power of the bourgeoisie!

But no other party did as much rallying as the Liberationist and Democratic Socialist Party. President Wolf did not hide her support for the Democratic Socialist party. She tweeted: "Wishing best luck to the #DemSocs! Hopefully they will grasp control of the #13CentralCouncil!"

And so the elections begun, and will close on the 5th of May.

---PTH/RTN

by **The Jahistic Unified Republic** » Sun May 05, 2013 4:39 am

Election Shocker: Jahistic Party in Namor set to Win Big.

Jahistic Year 10

IN OTHER NEWS
Nothing is going on near Peitoa. Nothing at all.
Chairman Thuman's picture to be displayed on AotP
Namorese Election fetches PTHU's highest ratings
Shawn Hitlay yet to comment on sudden war flag change

THE PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF NAMOR-- What is a shocker? Has a true shocker ever really struck the world in the election field? I mean, the occasional landslide has happened, but looking back on it: when was the last real shocker? We may've just seen it in the People's Republic of Namor, as the citizens there went to cast their votes for the Central Council. The Central Council is the main legislative body of the People's Republic.

The voting, although not all the way in, coincided with a sudden popularization of Jahistic ideals, leading to the common conclusion from the polls that the Jahistic Capitalist People's Party would be either the leading Party or the main opposition to an inevitable Democratic Socialist/Liberationist merger. One can explain this with the larger cities' love for Capitalism, and the smaller cities disdain for the Subversive Media Act; the SMA is an ancient law that prevents free expression and freedom of the press. Most of the Jahistic votes has come from large metropolises like Moijing and Namo.

This leaves many international observers, including The Firebrand, are understandably baffled. Not too long ago, they elected a Democratic Socialist-- Alicia Wolf-- to the Presidency. Could public opinion on Jahisticism really change that fast? Is this what the Namorese people really desire? No matter what, we have no choice but to applaud the People's decision in this matter. They know what true freedom is.

Here in Unolia, a giant projector in Revolutionary Square is broadcasting the results from PTH Unolia (Namorese sponsored TV) and The Firebrand News Network. Although showing different results, they both agree that the Jahistic Party is doing extremely well and will have a major position of power coming out of this. Jahistic Youth Corps and normal Unolian citizens watch the results anxiously, but they have soon recognized the victory. They immediately start singing the Unolian JLP anthem. The Anthem, on a separate note, features the line "No movement more liberating" when referring to Voluntarism-Capitalism-Jarrod Thuman Thought. This is considered a slight jab at Namor's Liberation ideology.

As of 7:35 AM (both Unolian and Namorese time of this article) the results are still not official. Nonetheless, a mass Namorese Capitalist Rally is planned.

by **Namor** » Sun May 05, 2013 6:23 am

deat'd

by **Namor** » Mon May 06, 2013 2:30 pm

NAMORESE LEFT TO FORM COALITION?
As Namorese Jahistics take hold of Central Council, Liberationists and DemSocs alike find interests at stake

After a year of a Jahistic-dominated Central Council, the Namorese Center-Left cannot stand it any longer.

May 6, NMR 2354 (Gregorian)
Twenty-sixth Day of the Third Month (Namorese)
Second Day of Summer

NAMO, NAMOR - As the Jahistic Party of Namor dominates 232 seats in the Central Council, compared to the Liberationists' 169 and the Democratic Socialists' 150, the two parties of the Namorese Center-Left now find their own interests at stake. Now, the two parties are engaging in talks that might possibly unite the two parties in a coalition, to combat the sudden rise of the Namorese Right. There were even talks of a party merger.

Such an coalition would put 319 seats under its control, compared to the Jahistics' 232 seats.

Liberationist party deputy Ging Wacho told PTH:

I see no reason...why the DemSocs and us should unite. We have a Jahistic party that controls nearly half of the Central Council. It's about time our two parties formed a coalition and agree on the same stuff, vote yea together or nay together so we can prevent the rightists from getting what they want. There are many benefits to a coalition.

The Communist Party, meanwhile, refused to join such a coalition, as the ideologies upheld by the possible coalition "would not align with the official party line, and would drive us to revisionism."

The Jahistics clearly have a battle plan to dominate the Central Council. The party has already outlined its future plans in affecting Namorese politics: Free the market, reduce government intervention in the economy, and repeal the Subversive Media Act of NMR 2291, which mandates that media sources that contain messages that do not reflect national interests be sold for speculation and circulation at an above average price. Its bold agenda, says Democratic Socialist CCM Hung Xoha (East Nozama), "[is] something Namor isn't ready for....we are not ready to surrender our national economy and our economic stability to all-out corporatism." And with a firm Jahistic unity in Namor's top legislature, as opposed to the lack of unity from the Namorese Left, "what we don't want will happen..something has to be done."

A year has passed since the Elections for the 13th Central Council, the first Namorese parliament in which a right-wing opposition party has the most seats. But if the Namorese Left successfully forms a coalition, then they will still be able to take hold of what was their's.

Iglesian Elections: Anarchists take hold over 53% of Parliament

LOS VIENTOS, IGLESIANTIS - The Iglesian media has reported that the elections in Iglesiantis led to a victory for the Anarchists, followed by the Socialist Party and the Iglesian Democratic Party, taking hold of 53%, 24% and 12% of all seats in the Iglesian Parliament, respectively.

Yareva Infomaysa reported that Mayel Kertykaya of the Iglesian Anarchist Movement will become Iglesiantis' newest Prime Minister, while Adriana Pereira will remain the island nation's president. The new legislature will begin on the 20th of May.

---PTH/RTN

IN OTHER NEWS

People's First stages anti-WA rally in Nozama City
BREAKING: Unolia stages large-scale invasion on Peitoa
Yunglang Antelope's grandson speaks to the public, says that Namor should follow the path of Liberationist Socialism

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by **Namor** » Fri May 10, 2013 1:21 pm

RETCONNED

by **Ainin** » Sun May 12, 2013 10:57 am

Dirty Bomb Explodes in Central Forestia
Mayor Desfleurs Declares State of Emergency over Forestia Province

Footage From A Security Camera Earlier Today

FORESTIA, FO - Disaster struck earlier today as the Samuel P. Enstate Federal Building, also known as the 25 Place-aux-Chats Avenue, housing the Department of Telecommunications and the Federal Police, was ripped apart by a massive explosion, annihilating windows as far as 500 meters away. Forestia Emergency Services, arriving on the scene shortly after, were forced to stay away from the injured in the crippled building as radiation levels went through the roof in the area, forcing HAZMAT units to cordon off around a 3 km² area around the blast radius. Over 1,500 people were in the building at the time, of only 250 are accounted for.

In a second related incident little over 2 minutes ago, a small blast destroyed an inactive ABC broadcasting antenna, which came falling down on One Ainin Airways Drive, the headquarters of the flag carrier. Several windows were shattered, causing no structural damage, and 3 people were slightly injured. The 63-story building and the surrounding finance district was evacuated as a precaution and the FMPD Strategic Response Unit is on the scene. A call was received live on the air by a radio show host seconds before the attack, in which the anonymous caller specified that "two down, thirteen to go". He hung up immediately after.

FMPD spokesman Cst. Henry Remand, in a press conference on the grounds of the Forestia Legislative Assembly building, clarified that the current death toll was at 35, a number expected to explode in the next few hours. The wounded have been moved to Forestia Stadium, repurposed as an emergency medical triage centre, where volunteer staff from the Our Lady of Forestia Catholic Hospital have begun treating them. Mayor and Governor of Forestia Rosalie Desfleurs has declared martial law over the city, authorizing the dispatch of both Forestia National Guard and Aininian Army forces to keep the peace.

Comments (3)

▲ 34 | ▼ 1 Karen B. (Hartly Beach, Linack)
RIP victims may the attacker be brought to justice

▲ 1 | ▼ 18 Jenny C. (Hartley, West-Ainin)
WE DESRVD IT FOR NOT BELIVING IN G-D!!

▲ 322 | ▼ 84 Dan P. (Jasper Hill, Jasper)
May the perp feel the wrath of justice

About me · by **Luziyca** » Sun May 12, 2013 1:15 pm

Congress passes "Normalization of Relations Act, 2013"

Plans for 4 new ports of entry with Namor to be built within the next 3 years

FRONTIERSBURG, UPPER YORK - Today, after 63 years, Congress has passed the Normalization of Relations Act. With 251 ayes and 249 nays in the House of Representatives, and 70 ayes, 3 nays and 1 abstention, Luziyca will recognize the People's Republic of Namor as the legitimate government of all Namor excluding Oteki, Upper Zokoria, and West Chorea.

President Breuvi Shjoraski reluctantly signed the act, stating, "As much as I do not support communists, I feel this act (the Normalization Act) shall help increase our reputation as a country who genuinely cares for the people. However, as I sign it, I must state that their continued occupation over Upper Zokoria, West Chorea and Oteki shall not be tolerated."

The new legislation would switch recognition from the Republic of Namor, to the People's "Republic" of Namor, and within the bill, it states that "West Chorea would be recognized as part of a single Chorean Republic, Oteki as a sovereign state and Upper Zokoria as part of Zokoria." Not all is bad news though, as it announces to construct four new ports of entry and have it operating by 2016, and a reward of Д1,000,000 ($2,000,000) per annum to corporations from Luziyca who support trade with Namor. The new ports of entry will be near Hudson, Lower York (city), Upper York (city), and another port of entry a few hundred kilometers east of the capital of Eastern Luziyca, Salavat.

Quite a lot of people, especially in Greenwich protested, condemning it for "allowing communist propaganda to seep through the Barrier," and some are organizing a boycott to corporations that plan to expand into Namor.

Plans for a state visit to Namor by the President is yet to be determined if it would even happen. We feel that it may start the exchange of ideas: Namor may become free but at a price of Luziyca becoming communist.

by **Yoppa** » Sun May 12, 2013 2:23 pm

Yoppan National News

KILLER RUNS RAMPANT IN BOUROS

BOUROS, F.D.
In the past 4 days, several people have been killed in random shootings that are suspected to have been carried out by the same person.

A murderer has been terrorizing the Bouros, F.D. area for the past four days. He has been shooting seemingly random targets, leaving 12 people dead and 4 more injured. It appears that the attacks have been carried out using a sniper rifle of some sort.

Mayor Beauregard has declared a state of emergency in the city, giving the Metropolitan Police free reign in enforcing their rule.

Following a failed bombing attempt in a school in the city of Santa Maria, it seems as if a crisis is always around the corner. Indeed, one of the largest uncertainties of Yoppan life in the 21st century is that one will not have to wait long for another act of social madness.

President Loyola addressed the nation following the outbreak of these killings. "It is unacceptable that a cold-blooded murderer can be allowed to roam our own capital like this...he must be caught and given justice for his misdeeds."

On May 9, two couples picnicking together in a park were shot dead. A few hours later, another couple was shot in the same park, but they survived.

The next day, over the span of five hours, five more people were shot. In each killing, a single bullet was fired from some distance away. On May 11, four were shot, two of which survived, and the NIA launched a manhunt to attempt to find the shooter. Several suspects were arrested, but the shootings continued today, with one death so far.

Police suspect the man has former military training due to his expert use of a firearm, and citizens have been informed that he is armed and dangerous. Non-trained individuals are advised not to approach suspicious figures.

Schools in Bouros have been put on lockdown, and schools in the adjacent states are recommended to keep students indoors. It is likely that this man is acting alone, although he could be part of a larger organization.

-YNN

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by **Namor** » Sun May 12, 2013 2:47 pm

by **Namor** » Mon May 20, 2013 3:03 pm

Jahistic Movement is not an international movement, but an Unolian one, says Hosing
Kong Jo's challenger in the NMR 2335 Elections details the New Right in his new book

May 20, NMR 2354 (Gregorian)
11th Day of the Fourth Month (Namorese)
16th Day of Summer

SAYEN, THALASSA- Jonathan Hosing, who unsuccessfully challenged Kong Jo back in the NMR 2335 Elections, has seen his book, titled The New Right and its true Motives, published. In the book, Hosing talks extensively of the Jahistic Movement in Namor, as well as in the rest of Esquarium, describing it as a branch of "Unolian ideological imperialism."

Hosing criticized Jahisticism to be "[an] ideology that was thought of by Jarrod Thuman to benefit the Unolian people and the Unolians only," explaining in detail that "when Thuman was planning the coup on the Unolian king back in NMR 2343, he devised Jahisticism so he can win the trust of the Unolian people. Previously, the thought of 'Jahistic International Solidarity' wasn't even drafted, because Thuman didn't care about the rest of the world....to think of Jahisticism as a capitalist ideology that can bind the world together and maintain the individual nations' independence is a really misguided thought."

The Jahistic Movement's calls for international rightist unity, claims Hosing, is merely a ceremonial call, and behind these calls exist ulterior motives, similar to communism. He writes:

The true intents of the Unolian leadership and Jahisticism is to win the constant ideological struggle between various groups of rightists, including the Callahanists and Norsefirists. The Unolians want to see Callahanism and Norsefirism gone, and replaced with an ideology in which its followers would constantly obey Shawn Hitlay. Obey Jarrod Thuman, obey his wife. Simply put, this ideology does not consider what outsiders want: it's just a tool to spread Unolian influence around the world.

Just like Liberationism? Hosing puts it this way:

Liberationism[...] unlike communism or Jahisticism, does not have an international body that tells Liberationists what to do. Therefore, you can't have Namo ordering that a faraway Liberationist regime do this or do that. The ideology--not the Namorese--tells its followers what to do. The communists had their comintern. The Jahistics have their 'Jahistic International,' which is basically a body of Unolians who tell Jahistics worldwide what to do, how to run, how to challenge the establishment. When he was devising Liberationism, Antelope said the establishment of a 'Liberationist International' was not going to benefit Liberationist Solidarity against Imperialism, but rather destroy that solidarity. Therefore, it can be said that ideological imperialism is against the principles of Liberationism itself.

Which is why, said Hosing, the Liberationists have never waged a war in another nation just to spread their ideas and make their people consume these ideas. The Namorese Civil War was not an ideological war, he reminded readers, but a war to free the people from a corrupt Republican establishment. "Had the Liberationists really waged this Civil War to spread Liberationism worldwide or nationwide, they could've transformed Namor into a one-party state. Was it? Is it? Of course not."

Hosing concluded his book by expressing his disappointment in the people's choice to give seats of the Central Council to the yellows. He also claimed that the Jahistics were trying to turn Namor into a "second Unolia."

Go to Unolia and what do you see? Socialists, communists and leftists, even leftist factions within the Jahistic Party being purged for not aligning with Jarrod Thuman or Shawn Hitlay's political compass results. The elections for the 13th Council saw us giving 232 seats not to freedom-loving rightists, but to a foreign entity. Unolia now controls our Central Council.

The book is available in a bookstore near you, for P4.50.

---PTH

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by **The Jahistic Unified Republic** » Mon May 20, 2013 4:48 pm

Jahistic International Abolished, as per Shawn Hitlay

Jahistic Year 10
Unolia-- Chairman Shawn Hitlay of the Revolutionary Jahistic Party of Unolia and the Chairman of Jahistic International, has issued an executive order which effectively makes the Jahistic International as we know it, null and void. This comes as part of a reform campaign launched by the new Hitlay administration. Hitlay justifies this as saying the International was too "corrupt and not international enough."

This effectively strips the largely Unolian-dominated Jahistic National Committee of any real power. This is reflected by the Standing Committee of the Jahistic National Committee having it's named changed to the Provisional Supreme Unolian Jahistic Collective. This reflects the council only being able to govern Unolian politics, rather than International Jahistic politics. The JNC is expected to disband soon, as a result.

Some international watchdog groups have claimed that this is because of a pitiful book made by a disgraced failure of a politician in Namor. The book claimed that the Jahistic Party of Unolia had taken too much control over the Jahistic International and over international Jahistic politics, calling it a form of "Ideological Imperialism." This is not the case, as documents show that Shawn Hitlay had plans to abolish Jahistic International for two weeks, now. He plans to register the Jahistic Republic of Unolia as a member of Capitalist International as a subsequent replacement.

Hitlay assured the members of Jahistic International that their now defunct organization would be back, sooner rather than later. Speaking from beneath a picture of Jarrod Thuman at the meeting, Hitlay claimed that "Our mission is far from over. This is not an abolishment, but a suspension. We will be back, and we will be stronger than ever. We will come back shining in a fresh coat of yellow, so that the world may see us. We will drench all of the region in the glorious Jarrod Thuman Thought. We will be back, and our mission will be completed with the next International"

The delegates disbanded with one last tearful singing of The New International. "Meeting adjourned!" Hitlay said, weakly banging the gavel.

The next time the delegates will see each other in such an environment is the Fifth Jahistic Party of Unolia Congress, where the Second Jahistic International is set to be unveiled. They will have a while to wait, as the Congress is set to convene in a little more than two years. The final tally of Jahistic International saw two Jahistic Parties (Unolia, East Chorea) grow into five nations with active and recognized Jahistic movements. (Unolia, East Chorea, Kugland, Namor, Afalia) With four (sans Afalia) holding major positions of power in said countries. The Jahistic International had succeeded. No doubt about it.

by **Geadland** » Thu May 23, 2013 6:24 am

SÖREN KAIS DIES AGED 82
"The Liberal Party has lost a great hero."

23rd May 2013 Last updated 13:20 Geadish Standard Time

DA HEGNER - It has been confirmed that former Prime Minister Sören Kais died earlier today at his lakeside home in Gelsen, Mearland.

His Royal Highness Prince Andras, Duke of Audholm, served as a spokesmen for Kais' family "It is great sadness that Johannes and Freda Kais announce that the Most Honourable Sören Kais passed away at 10am this morning. Her Majesty the Queen and the Royal Family send their condolences to the family of Mr. Kais, who was to them a great family man and to the nation was a talented politician. A further statement will be released from the palace later today."

Prime Minister Andras Verbåten also responded "The Most Honourable Sören Kais was a talented and skilled politician and economist whom I myself admired and respected during my early years in the House of Representatives. We are sorry to hear of his ill health and death." Liberal Party leader Kjel Hammervik said that "The Liberal Party has lost a great hero."

To commemorate Kais, the flag of Geadland will be flown at half-mast for two days. It will also be flown at half-mast on the day of his funeral, which is due to take place at Da Fugh Orthodox Cathedral in two weeks' time. In accordance to another custom, the Storting (currently dissolved due to an election campaign) will convene in a special session to pay tributes.

Kais was first elected leader of the Liberal Party in 1978 after the retirement of Dennis Haldemann. He formed the famous "Pact of 1979" with Conservative Party leader Gunnhild Måssendal and the Christian People's Party; this created a three-way alliance which won a majority in the election in September of that year. Kais then became Prime Minister from September 1979 until September 1981, at which point he stepped down and was replaced by Måssendal; he then served as her Minister of Finance until the coalition lost power in June 1983. Kais' time in power was short, at just two years, but he was and remains to this date the only Prime Minister to have come from the Liberal Party since 1930.

Kais initially enjoyed a period of high popularity among voters who had become disillusioned with the SDLP's dominance of politics and the country's lack of economic progress. However, his popularity fell as unemployment worsened and the government embarked on unpopular privatisation and austerity programs. In particular, Kais was widely seen as being "controlled" by Måssendal, his Minister of Finance, who was the true architect being the Pact of 1979's economic policies. Although Kais was more popular as a Minister of Finance, the Liberals lost over 30 seats in the June 1983 general election which brought the SDLP back to power.

It was later revealed that Kais had intended to resign after the defeat, but before he could step down, he was forced to conduct another election campaign in November 1983 after the collapse of the Adelvik government. The Liberals recovered most of their lost seats and Kais was persuaded to stay on as leader, though with the Conservatives now much stronger in size, he did not return to the premiership and remained as Minister as Finance. After more losses in 1987, Kais resigned as leader and instead became Minister of Foreign Affairs until his retirement from the House of Representatives in 1991. Since leaving politics, he made a small fortune in public speaking and by publishing his autobiography. Like Måssendal, his reputation has improved in retirement as many of their government's decisions became vindicated by the economic boom in the 1990s.

Kais had been suffering from ill health in recent years, including a case of jaw cancer in 2010 which left him barely able to talk. Finally, he developed lung cancer, which he blamed on his once notorious smoking habit. At one point, he had told hospital staff that his treatment for jaw cancer had been such an ordeal that he would rather let his most recent illness run its course.

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by **Namor** » Fri May 24, 2013 12:36 pm

Wasabi Temple Music Album Sparks Controversy
LGBT(Q) rights advocates call for thorough investigation and prosecution, free speech campaigners call for authorities to let it go

May 24, NMR 2354 (Gregorian)
15th Day of the Fourth Month (Namorese)
4th Day of Grainfull

NAMO- Controversy is flying over a music album produced by the Wasabi Temple, a religious sect infamous for its hatred towards gays, LGBTs, and even straights who support LGBT rights.

Hate Group Wasabi Temple has issued a music
album, in it installed thousandfold attacks on
gays and everything-not-Wasabi

The album, titled "God Hates Rainbows," was done by local musicians who sympathized with the Wasabi Movement. It contains around seven songs, including "Heaven Will Burn Gays to Hell," "LGBTs are God's Enemies," "The Evil in Love," and finally "Alicia Wolf is Satan's Sister."

After "Heaven Will Burn Gays to Hell" was played in a Namo music station, various gay-straight alliances and civil rights groups expressed their concern.

"This is profoundly hate speech," Ying Luck, member of Namo University's LGBTQ Club, "their songs even include personal attacks. You have to be insane not to take this barbaric album away."

"Ridiculous piece of sh*t is how I describe this album," said Lucas Voxing, from a watchdog group. "Who can tolerate a song that talks of a nonexistent god condemning gays to the underworld? We don't want to even see hate speech in this country, it's wrong."

Various organizations have contaced the Communications Ministry, urging for the album to be recalled from store shelves, and press the Wasabi Temple into apologizing for issuing personal attacks. But there were also Wasabi Temple leaders, there to protect their album of verbal hate.

Cao Ta Nainai, a distant cousin of late sect founder Cao Ni Ma, and related to the sect's new leader, Cao Ta Ma, was the guitarist who contributed much to the released album, and called for the authorities to silence the attempts of the opposing side.

"We was just spreadin' God's truth, and gays got a prob with that? Only proves that God hates 'em gays. F*cking Fags. Hates 'em all."

Cao Ta Nainai, in turn, persuaded the Ministry to silence the gay rights advocates.

"Y'all let these God-hatin' bastards who don't attend our services speak their Satanist words, are you serious? The gubment must know that anyone who loves something God doesn't must burn in hell. Like, seriously, don't tell me the gubment hates God too!"

Free speech advocates have also called on the government to let it go. On Han Go, chairman of the Nozama Free Speech Union, "What they say might be hateful and socially unacceptable, but at least they still have their rights, therefore they should be allowed to say whatever they want. The people wouldn't need to worry--all they need to do is to ignore them."

The Communications Ministry has yet to make a decision; until then, the decision shall be left in the hands of district governments on whether or not these hate albums should be allowed to be distributed.

---PTH

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by **Geadland** » Mon May 27, 2013 2:52 pm

PROGRESSIVE CANDIDATE WITHDRAWS AFTER RACIST TWITTER COMMENTS
Matjassen brands comments about Luziycan tourists "a disgrace".

27th May 2013 Last updated 22:50 Geadish Standard Time

DA HEGNER - A Progressive Party candidate has withdrawn his candidacy for the upcoming general election after making offensive comments about Luziycan tourists in a post on Twitter. The party has been forced to replace their single candidate in the Stefaansburgh district (the same district as Christian People's Party leader Dimitrus Klepstein) just days before the polling day.

Martin Nuevald was commenting on the most recent episode of the TV motoring show "Nester Ratsio" [meaning "Next Gear (Ratio)"] which featured a game called "car darts". The presenters on the program took it in turns to operate high-powered hydraulic launchers which could launch cars off the edge of a cliff onto the beach below. Here, a giant "target" was marked in the sand and the presenters aimed to land the cars as close to the centre as possible in order to score points, in a similar manner to a game of darts.

Just watched Nester Ratsio, where they were playing 'Car Darts'! Personally I think they should do it with Hummers while the Luziycan tourists are still inside. It would certainly reduce the number of car thefts around here! #NesterRatsio #AutoDarts

Given the cars were badly crushed in the process, a person inside them would have likely been killed, or at the very least seriously injured.

Hours after the tweet was posted, it was reported on GRK and Dagposten's website, where it attracted widespread condemnation. The Prime Minister called it "reprehensible", the Socialist People's Party warning that "under Matjassen's respectable facade, the party is ridden with closet racists" and the Conservative Party posted a tweet saying "Can't the Progressives do a better job at vetting their candidates?" The Progressive Party had not even had time to react to the affair before Nuevald had announced that he would resign from the party and withdraw his candidacy for the Storting. The police visited Nuevald later that day to search his apartment and computer, though he was not arrested or charged. To cap it all, he has also lost his job at a local health insurance company.

"I apologise to anyone who was shocked and offended by my post on Twitter," said Nuevald. "I did not mean to wish death or injury on anybody. I attempted to crack a joke and got carried away. That's why I did it, and doing it was not acceptable."

The party leader Markus Matjassen said that Nuevald's statment was "A disgrace to our party." He said that "It's not the first time that we've had members saying dodgy statements, but this does not reflect the views of our party members, candidates and elected representatives. The majority of us are tolerant and accepting people and we reject ethnic nationalism."

The local branch of the Progressive Party plans to nominate Katerina Den Boss as a new candidate; Den Boss had been the runner-up in the party's nomination contest. If a party's candidate dies or withdraws after the deadline, the party can nominate a replacement candidate after the deadline for nominations (on Writ Day, which was on the 14th May) but since the printing of the ballots has already began, Nuevald will still be listed as the Progressive candidate, with notices being posting at poling stations informing voters that the actual candidate has been changed. Before the Writ Day, the Progressives withdrew another candidate in the Imphaal district after he posted a rant on Facebook about the SDLP supposedly being "controlled by gays and Jews". He will continue to run as an independent, despite the nomination of a new official Progressive candidate.

Police say they will continue to investigate Nuevald and the incident. Threatening death against someone in Geadland is a crime, punishable by community service.

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by **Namor** » Mon May 27, 2013 2:53 pm

Suicide Bombing in Kusef Municipal Hall kills Governor, Txotai under State of Emergency Once Again
Authorities vow to bring separatist hooligans to justice

May 27, NMR 2354 (Gregorian)
18th Day of the Fourth Month (Namorese)
7th Day of Grainfull

BREAKING NEWS

KUSEF, TXOTAI PREFECTURE, THALASSA DISTRICT- A state of emergency has been declared over Txotai Prefecture for the second time since the last ethnic rioting in NMR 2353 once again, after a female suicide bomber working for the Knights of Saint Luther, the military wing of the "Otekian Independence Movement" terrorist group, successfully detonated the bomb situated within her body. The blast of the bomb destroyed the Municipal Hall in Kusef, killing the Governor of Txotai, Jeffrey Xong, as well as 15 others in the scene plus 25 injured. The perpetrator was also killed in the attack.

The Municipal Hall as it looked through security cameras as it
was bombed

Seconds after the bomb detonated, soldiers rushed into the scene. Governor Xong was carried out minutes later after being located in a pile of rubble, and sent to Kusef No.1 Hospital along with others found for treatment, but it was too late. The Governor had died immediately, along with 15 other people, 3 of them NLA soldiers on duty. The injured are in serious condition, and are receiving treatment in the same hospital.

Immediately following the deadly attacks, the Thalassa District Government issued a state of emergency over Txotai Prefecture once more, the last time being the NMR 2353 riots caused by members of the "Otekian Independence Movement," a terrorist organization that is backed and funded by the Luziycan Central Intelligence Agency (CIA). Thalassa's Governor-General, Tzang Weibo, demanded that the perpetrators and conspirators turn themselves in.

"When there are problems regarding ethnic status, especially in areas like Txotai, terrorism is not the answer. With that, I issue my deepest condolences to Governor Xong's family and friends, as well as the families of those who have perished in that sudden attack."

10 extra regiments of the Namorese Liberation Army are set to arrive in Txotai in the coming hours.

Authorities have recognized the perpetrator of the attacks. The suicide bomber was identified as Mary Ashmaev, ethnic Luziycan, age 29, the mother of three children and lives in the outskirts of Kusef. The bomber reportedly received over P40,000 worth of money from her superiors within the Knights of Saint Luther, the paramilitary of the "Otekian Independence Movement," to go to Kusef and detonate the bomb and kill herself.

At the same time, leaders of the OIM have claimed responsibility, as well as the Knights of Saint Luther; however, they denied that Ashmaev was sent to kill herself against her own will; rather, she was genuinely willing to kill herself---and other civilians. The website of the OIM issued a statement, saying that "Ashmaev is a martyrdom-seeker who, at the guidance of Christ, decided to sacrifice herself for her homeland that is Oteki, and to slay the Red Namorese occupants who control her nation with an iron fist."

The statement added on, claiming that "What inspired Ashmaev to become a martyr was a revelation from her forefathers, and was not inspired by outside encouragement," and that "all Otekians [term used to describe ethnic Luziycans in Txotai] should follow her example, to wage a holy war against outside occupation."

But Ashmaev's family did not seem to approve of her own actions. Her ex-husband, Yosef Ashmaev, told PTH:

"She did not tell me of what she was going to do, like she usually does. There has to be some sort of conspiracy going on."

Yosef went on, telling PTH that if there were any problems between ethnic groups in Txotai, terrorism shouldn't ever be a solution.

"It's a shame. I mean, really. These people are taking us hostage."

---PTH

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by **Geadland** » Wed May 29, 2013 10:56 am

HÄGEN PLANS SENATE COMEBACK
Former Prime Minister to be high-placed Senate candidate

Hägen (right) campaigning in Walen.

29th May 2013 Last updated 18:56 Geadish Standard Time

DA HEGNER - The SDLP have confirmed rumours that former Prime Minister Manfred Hägen will indeed make a bid to a return to the Storting in the Senate election, which is most likely to take place in early July. So far, it is not known what his ranking will be on the candidate list, but the party's deputy leader Angela Harlo said that she expected him to be "a top 10 candidate", meaning he would almost certainly win a seat.

"It will be an honour to return to the Storting once more, yes on a part-time basis. I hope to bring my political and diplomatic experience to the debates in the Senate. I'd like to thank my colleagues in the SDLP for supporting my candidacy."

The former Prime Minister and leader of the SDLP led the party to three election victories and became Geadland's longest serving Prime Minister, before retiring from politics in 2006. Since then he has concentrated on charity work, but has often taken time to campaign for the SDLP in local and general elections. Many political commentaters had initially speculated that he would stand again in this general election in order to help revive the party's support. But Hägen put these rumours to rest in March when he said he would not return to the House of Representatives, as it would "interfere with my charity work". The speculation then moved to suggesting he would become a senator instead; his workload would be much easier as the Senate normally only meets once a week.

The last time a former Prime Minister was elected to the Senate was Torbjörn Smid in 1956. He served for nine years. However, it is relatively common for other retired politicians to be elected to the Senate; about 94 of the current 200 senators previously served in the House of Representatives. The constitution states that politicians can only enter the Senate in the second Senate election held after their departure from the House of Representatives, and vice versa.

Other SDLP senate candidates who have been confirmed so far are former Bondhaven Mayor Kristina Villemsen, former footballer Kurt Kober and businessman Nils Sokker, chairman of the Alekman Group and star of the business-reality TV show Kandidaten.

GARRARD ACCUSES IGLESIANTIS OF RIGGING ELECTIONS
Having anarchists take half the result was not realistic, says outspoken Progressive

29th May 2013 Last updated 19:56 Geadish Standard Time

ESKRAU - The controversial Progressive Party MP Filip Garrard has apparently suggested that the parliamentary elections in Iglesiantis earlier this month could have been rigged, because he believed their results to be unrealistic, in an interview for the Stanhorst Tribune, a local newspaper:

I cannot believe that a backlash against austerity measures could have realistically resulted in a rabble of anarchists taking an absolute majority of the vote in an election. It's ridiculous! After all, by definition anarchists are people who want to abolish all forms of government spending! It's almost as though the elections were rigged, and this is not a joke. It might have happened for real. Iglesiantis is so sloppy at keeping things secure that it probably wouldn't have been that difficult for the anarchists to stuff the ballot boxes. I don't trust anarchists, I think the kind of government they want to force on us sounds totalitarian.

He then added a disclaimer: "Don't take this too seriously. I don't know much about how they actually conduct elections."

Julius Albrechtsen, the Conservative spokesman on foreign policy, took interest in Garrard's statement. Three years ago, Albrechtsen presented a documentary entitled Iglesiantis and the Iglesians in which he attempted to explain cultural and political differences between Iglesiantis and Geadland.

No I don't think they were rigged. If they sound crazy, remember that plenty of things about Iglesian politics may come across to Geadland as being crazy. To explain the results, it's because Iglesians are extremely sensitive about government tyranny - they thought the government was being tyrannical so they went for the party which appeared to be as untyrannical as possible. I think the Iglesians have a fundamental misconception that spending cuts are acts of government tyranny, when in fact they make the government smaller. Another part of the problem is that the Iglesian right is a total farce.

The election in question saw the "Iglesian Anarchist Movement", led by Mayel Kertykaya, win 53% of the vote and seats. It is the first time any party has won an absolute majority of the vote in Iglesian elections, which have traditionally produced highly fragmented parliaments. Kertykaya will now replace Yaryna Vyelaya as the country's prime minister but it is not fully understood what course of actions the party will take while in government. The Anarchist Movement is strongly left wing and consists primarily of anarcho-syndicalists (who believe trade unions should be used to achieve anarchy and an end to capitalism), with some anarcho-communists in their ranks. Their campaign was primarily directed against the spending cuts Vyelaya's government had introduced.

By contrast, no other nation in Esquarium has an anarchist political party of any significant size. In Geadland, the Anarchist Party has been drawing inspiration from the success of their Iglesian counterpart and has spent a record amount of money and stood 24 candidates. However, the movement lacks mainstream support and has generally been absent from opinion polls; on a few polls it pulled in 1% of the vote.

Garrard was originally an MP for the SDLP until he abruptly left the party in 2004, accusing them of relaxing immigration laws and promoting multiculturalism for their own political gain. He joined the Progressive Party, but lost his his seat in Eskrau in the following election. In 2009, he won a new seat in Stanhorst-Nord, where he is currently seeking reelection. Garrard has previously referred to Iglesiantis as "a culture destroyed by lefty multicultural crap". On another occasion, he said that Romanies who live in poverty "need to get a job" and earlier this year was vilified by the press in Delvoir after he criticised their government and ridiculed their fashion sense.

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by **Namor** » Fri May 31, 2013 5:00 am

Tensions Unolia doesn't want you to see
As Jahistic Fifth Congress comes up, tweets reveal ideological differences between Thuman and Hitlay

May 31, NMR 2354 (Gregorian)
22nd Day of the Fourth Month (Namorese)
11th Day of Grainfull

UNOLIA- The long-awaited "Fifth Congress" of the Jahistic Unolian regime is coming up in a few days, and state-sanctioned media in that country is telling its citizens that there is new hope in the country's ideology. But Twitter posts made by Unolian Chairman-President Jarrod Thuman and the current Unolian president, Shawn Hitlay, show that tensions have reached a new high, towards the level of life and death.

Hitlay---formerly coined by Thuman as a "Hippostanian conservative" and jailed by the Jahistic regime---returned to politics after officially being "rehabilitated" by Thuman himself, who then took a bold move to step down as Unolia's leader, and give the position to the 41 year-old Hitlay.

But Unolia's longtime dictator is now showing disgust at Hitlay, as tweets suggest.

@JarrodThuman
(Chairman-President Jarrod Thuman)
I have made a big mistake in trusting Shawn Hitlay. He has increased Socialist Authoritarian Reforms, like the Old Unolia. #DownWithHitlay #FifthCongress

Shawn Hitlay fired back with his own tweet:

@ShawnHitlay
@JarrodThuman is a man known for frail health and senile decisions. The #FifthCongress should amend the Constitution to remove him from office!

Unolia experts are unsure on what would happen next, but one thing certain to many is that in order to win this power struggle, both Thuman and Hitlay would have to manipulate the masses, especially the youth---who were the ones who detained political dissidents at Thuman's order. John Bawashingtse, Namorese ambassador to Unolia, told PTH that the two would have to compete for popular support.

"Thuman can't do anything without the youth, nor can Hitlay. We have seen the Jahistic Cultural Revolution, when the young leader purged socialists, communists and other leftists through the Jahistic Youth Corps. If Thuman wants to purge anybody, he has to get the support of the youth."

Although Thuman has officially stepped down, he still has enough power to stage another "cultural revolution" and remove whom he dislikes from power, and maybe even persecute them. Hitlay, however, could possibly twist the plot by doing everything before Thuman does.

Whatever Unolians themselves think would happen to Thuman and Hitlay, it is clear that there is political power struggle, and such will be displayed in the upcoming Fifth Congress.

---PTH

Who do YOU support, Thuman or Hitlay? Vote now in PTH Unolia: the island's most reliable news source

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COMMENTS
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by **The Fire of God** » Fri May 31, 2013 6:27 am

OOC: Feel free to recognize this or not. You may RP that the terrorists' hack to television stations were failed...

We are strong...we are everywhere...Allah bless us. The beloved Ummah...now on the brink of destruction. And the fault lies between the heretics and infidels...they are none but termites and must be terminated.

Pictures of beheaded unbelievers, rampage across the foreign streets, clerics from all schools murdered and their heads displayed, along with shi'ite mullahs, salafist clerics, Christian bishops, tourists and unidentified skulls.

We are not the Wahhabis, we are not the Shafi'is, we are not the Malikis, we are not the Hanafis, we are not the Ismailites, we are not the Mu'tazilites...we are the descendants of those who betrayed by Ali and Muawiya. Yet now we are no longer the Kharijites..we have changed. Heretics are lesser than people of the scriptures yet they must receive the equal treatment...death.

The videos were popped up randomly, from veiled women stoned to death, Ahmadi mosques filled with pig blood, churches burned and scorch the congregations inside. Next there are foreign troops shooting scared Muslims, Azurandi Inquisitors impale...

Us. Beware all of you. World is our enemy except those who submit themselves under the Imam's benevolence. Together we shall rule the World...we will fix the World. We will return tolerance. We will return Ummah unity. We will return everything as He commands. Capitalists, Callahanists, Communists, Monarchists...they all went astray and we shall fix them too.

We are everywhere. We are near. We are already. Mahdi has return and the Final War shall arrived. Good fights against Evil. Justice against Injustice. Slaves of God against Slaves of Shaytan. Beware...

A man appeared, his face covered in turban. His words were disguised, but it's clear:

Surrender to me, then I have my mercy on you. I am His right hand, I am the Vanquisher of Tyrants. Indeed, I am the Mahdi. I am your Savior...I am your Apocalyptic Ruler. I shall defeat the Dajjal with my own hand. Follow me, Muslims, if you truly are the Slaves of God. Follow me and you are not my enemy...

by **Bleckonia** » Fri May 31, 2013 2:04 pm

The Daily Herald

New Democratic Party Gains a Majority; Prime Minister Crosses the Aisle

MANN— After a day of general elections on 29 May, the voters have spoken: the New Democratic Party is the party that voters feel will solve the economic crisis in Bleckonia. Prime Minister Aaron Blecker, once an avid Social Democratic Party supporter, has become neoliberal and now supports the idea of austerity in order to solve the debt crisis. The leader of the center-right New Democratic Party, William Quesley, became the new prime minister. He appointed Blecker to the Minister of the Treasury, a Cabinet position. Former Deputy Prime Minister Reginald Pierce is the new leader of the center-left Social Democratic Party. Many in the New Democratic Party are criticizing PM Quesley's decision to appoint the Prime Minister to a Cabinet position. David Cameron, an NDP MP, (OOC: no relation to the UK PM), had this to say:

David Cameron MP (NDP) wrote: severely criticized Prime Minister Quesley's decision to appoint the former prime minister, just a week ago the leader of the SDP, to a high-level cabinet position. Mr. Blecker is unreliable to the New Democratic Party, and I am absolutely clueless as to why the new prime minister appointed him to head the Treasury.

In Bleckonia, electoral law works like this: for parliamentary elections, there are two columns; in one, there is a list of names who all are vying to represent the voter's single-member constituency, and in the other, there is a list of parties who have gained enough signatures to be put on the ballot. In each single-member constituency, the candidate receiving the most votes becomes that constituency's representative. The party-list system is a bit more complicated. In each of the 13 provinces, a certain number of MPs are assigned to represent that province based on the province's population. Each party's portion of the vote goes toward how the seats are filled (if 40.8% of voters in Montressor vote for the SDP, then approximately 40.8% of Montressor's 14 seats goes to SDP candidates). Each of the parties choose which candidates will represent each province if elected. 225 MPs are elected from single-member constituencies, and the other 225 are elected from party lists.

The results of the 2012 census resulted in an increase in the number of seats in Parliament from 400 to 450. This election did not result in a hung parliament like the last one; the New Democratic Party won 231 out of 450 seats, a plurality in Parliament. In terms of demographics, we saw more urban constituencies turn against the SDP and toward the NDP. The urban areas, once dominated by the SDP, are now starting to turn against it. Rural constituencies continue to be dominated by the NDP. In the party-list elections, we saw 9 out of 13 provinces have more votes for the NDP than for the SDP.

These election results are truly representative of Bleckonians' turning toward neoliberalism.

Composition of the 44th Parliament

Esquarium Today [Regional News, CLOSED]

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