Your Nation's Fact of the Week

[Lancov]

Famous singer Amélia Vespúcio was found dead yesterday in her appartment under mysterious circumstances. There was a cut in her throat and a concussion in her right feet. A bowling ball was found beside her body and her aquarium found with no water in it, but an empty bottle of ketchup lied inside.There were dead fish found all over the floor. Also, there was a japanese sword in the kitchen, coverd in what seemed to be blood, but turned out to be the ketchup of the empty ketchup bottle inside the aquarium.

Police is considering the possibility of a very complex suicide.

Also, how did she get a concussion in her foot? That is truly a marvel of medicine.

[Coccygia]

Famous singer Amélia Vespúcio was found dead yesterday in her appartment under mysterious circumstances. There was a cut in her throat and a concussion in her right feet. A bowling ball was found beside her body and her aquarium found with no water in it, but an empty bottle of ketchup lied inside.There were dead fish found all over the floor. Also, there was a japanese sword in the kitchen, coverd in what seemed to be blood, but turned out to be the ketchup of the empty ketchup bottle inside the aquarium.

Police is considering the possibility of a very complex suicide.

Also, how did she get a concussion in her foot? That is truly a marvel of medicine.

Wait a minute - a concussion in her right feet? How many feet does she have?

[Fatatatutti]

Speaking of murder, one of the most intriguing mysteries in the annals of Fatatatutian crime began when a brown paper bag was left in the hallway outside the offices of Fatatatutti Five-O. It contained nothing but the frame of a semi-automatic pistol and a note, which explained that all of the other parts of the pistol had been removed and disposed of in separate places.

To this day, despite extensive investigations, nothing is known about the crime - if any - in which the gun was used. A couple of springs and pins have been turned in but can not be directly linked to the frame.

The Bag-of-Gun Mystery is still unsolved.

[Lagniath]

Lagniath, although being a republic, has a dynasty of Presidents.... For the last 800+ years, we've had only "Lindons" in office...

[New Acardia]

Coffee flavored cola is the fraverit softdrink in new acardia.

[12 Virs]

Snagavir, our priestly caste, have a curious taboo about sex. Their males (snagavir) and females (snagavirin) are so similar in appearance that other virs can't tell them apart. Adding to the confusion is the fact that snagavirs are apparently so shy about discussing carnal matters that they often won't admit to other virs whether they're a snagavir or a snagavirin. It's not unheard of for the high "priest" of a local temple to serve for years, ministering to thousands of people, and not one knowing whether their religious leader was male or female.

[Kirhean Tribes]

A common genetic abnormality, resulting from dual procreation rather than the standard triple procreation, causes an allergy to iodine in a number of Kirheans.


Because iodine did not occur naturally on our homeworld, we never thought to check for it or it's effects. As a result, within weeks of intermingling with humans several cases of Kirheans dieing mysteriously at human restaurants cropped up. The issue quickly escalated as fear of humans attempting to poison us ran rampant. Eventually it was discovered that iodine is a common additive to human "table salt," causing a fatal reaction in those with the allergy.

Our nanites would detect the allergic reaction, but could not find a biological reason. However they would detect the Iodine and register it as a powerful antiseptic. They would then internally produce more iodine and release it to help combat the "infection." This, obviously, was not good...as it simply increased the amount of the allergen in the bloodstream. Even in individuals with a minor allergy, the attack would rapidly become worse and kill them.


As a result, all nanites have been reprogrammed to recognize iodine as a harmful chemical. Though the problem has been "solved," a law has been passed prohibiting the import and production of iodine and any product with iodine in it within the Commonwealth.


A humorous side effect, even to us, is that most Kirheans will ask that salt be removed from their table at human restaurants. Causing most establishments to simply not stock the seasoning, to the dismay of many humans.

[Niur]

The most common last name in Niur is Kearu.

[Spicy GUH]

Spicy Guh, although we have a funny name, we have awesome bananas and cool cigars :

[Rodrigues-Alves]

Famous singer Amélia Vespúcio was found dead yesterday in her appartment under mysterious circumstances. There was a cut in her throat and a concussion in her right feet. A bowling ball was found beside her body and her aquarium found with no water in it, but an empty bottle of ketchup lied inside.There were dead fish found all over the floor. Also, there was a japanese sword in the kitchen, coverd in what seemed to be blood, but turned out to be the ketchup of the empty ketchup bottle inside the aquarium.

Police is considering the possibility of a very complex suicide.

Also, how did she get a concussion in her foot? That is truly a marvel of medicine.

Wait a minute - a concussion in her right feet? How many feet does she have?

That was actually the most surprising discovery the police have made. She was born with a very rare desease called Diplodexterpody, she had TWO right feet and NO left foot. She kept that a secret her entire career.

And yes, police do suspect ms. Colombo, but she had an alibi, which the police agreed not to share with the press for being too embarassing.

[Satirius]

One of our most well-known authors is the noted SF writer and paranoid schizophrenic, Philip K. Oyd.[float=right][/float]Mr. Oyd's career received a much-needed boost when the Psychotic Party (currently the ruling party) named him as their Official Writer (although Mr. Oyd is not involved in politics). Mr. Oyd, who also writes under various pen names including Adam Marchpaine, Francis Church (not be confused with Francis Church, a pseudonym of Adam Marchpaine, not to be confused with Adam Marchpaine, a pseudonym of Philip K. Oyd), Andy Royd, and Qing Root, is the author of many novels, including The Three Phlegmata of Edgar G. Ulmer, Ibid, A Daze of Meth, I Can Hallucinate It for You Wholesale, Do Robots Short-Circuit from Having Wet Dreams? and (under the pseudonym Adam Marchpaine) his magnum opus, The Solipsists' Convention, as well as the self-help (?) book You Are Not Real, and his autobiography, I, Android. There is also an an unauthorized biography by fellow SF writer Isidore C. Bass, Pan-Galactic Whack-Job. (Some think that Bass is in fact another of Oyd's pseudonyms, or vice versa.)

Nexus CEO Stephen Byerley is reportedly a big fan of Oyd.

Rumor has it that the Administrator also has a liking towards Oyd, particularly his chilling alternate history, The (Old) Man in The High Porch.

[Techno-Soviet]

In The Soviet Technocracy, everyone owns at least three guns. The most 'gun-controlled' state is the Vella Corporation, a small mining consortium, and it's three small planetoids. The "gun to body ratio" is around 0.13 per person.

[Greater Albion PLC]

BREAKING NEWS!

His Majesty, King Victor III, King of Greater Albion and Emperor of Barrapur, has announced that from now on, free and fair elections for the post of Prime Minister will be held in Greater Albion. This democratisation is the latest in a series of reforms under operation "Being Decent", which also included such leaps forward as the abolition of Slavery and the creation of an organised and government funded fire brigade, moving away from the governments former policy of "Balls to Them" in regards to social issues. Ministers urged His Majesty to exercise care, as the last thing they want is a weak "liberal" government, as the word liberal stems from liberty and liberdad and other such foreign concepts. The people of the slums rejoice however, as they will no longer will be ruled by unelected aristocrats, and will now have the chance to elect which aristocrat they wish to be ruled by.

MORE ON THIS STORY AS IT DEVELOPES!

[Pyara]

Intercourse is permissible at any age in Pyara, condoms are freely distributed, and nudity laws are non-existent.

[Revolvisia]

Technically it is completely legal to train a Forum Lurker to eat babies. Revolvisia doesn't have animal cruelty laws, and the few human rights people have kick in after said person reaches childhood, so there are no written laws against it.

In reality, a policeman would beat you and the Lurker to death though.

[Zarbli]

Polar Zenith has won the Zarblese Soccer League for the first time. The Knights ended up as runner-ups and the Cannibals, who were favourites at the beginning of the season, got only the third place.

[Swartaz]

In Swartaz, all drugs are legal, but the sentance for comitting a crime under the influence is ridiculously big.

[Olivea]

In Olivea, car drive you!

[Euroafrica]

Three thousand people died this week because of their religious beliefs. And five thousand more died in a peaceful demonstration after the police was given orders to "kill every hippie that stands in your way".

[Fatatatutti]

I would like to take this opportunity to dispel the persistent rumours that two or more of my ex-wives are involved in a conspiracy to have me killed. While it may be true that they'd be happy to see me dead, they're all too mean with a dollar to spend anything on killing me. Don't get me wrong. They're eager enough to spend my money but the joke's on them. I haven't got any left. They got it all.

So, to sum up, the threat to my life has been exaggerated. I'd estimate it at thirty to forty per cent. Sixty tops. Certainly not much more than seventy-five.

Thank you for your support.

-- Harlan Escrow, Minister of Foreign Affairs

[Wolfenium]

Earlier today, a mysterious assailant tried to attack Her Royal Highness Princess Füchsin in a national rally in Sankt Olivia. Schild personnel tried to get to the scene but the startled princess had already bitch-slapped the attacker dozens of kilometers/miles out of the stadium, through the stadium stands, several office buildings, a factory, two apartment blocks and into a hospital, where he was promptly apprehended and given medical treatment. Schild officials later revealed that the man's intent was to glomp the petite princess and the man was sent to a "rehabilitation" centre for his bizzare actions to receive mental re-evaluation.

[Revolvisia]

Johannson Ignaseous, the Lucidarch of Revolvisia, failed his first year in the Harrow University of Scientific Achievement due to 'issues' at the time. He caught his sister, who had come to visit him at the time, and his girlfriend, who was (if certain people are to be believed) an illegitimate daughter of Handsome B Wonderful, in bed together, an experience that scarred him psychologically. He spent the next 6 months with a constant nightmare of his sister incestuously raping him. He got over this nightmare, with some professional help, but he has never been able to commit to a relationship since then. (This is possibly also the reason he finds sex repulsive and commands that it be done for reproductive purposes only.)

Regardless of this drawback, he returned to Harrow's most influential university and went on to pass his course on the scientific uses of coffee beans. His paper was one of the most memorable and controversial in Violatarian history, existing of only three words. 'There are none'.

[Kalasion]

The region of islands that contains Kalasion (Kalanesia) hosts only one other nation. This nation is the United Kingdom of the Servants of Sumi.

[Castleclose]

Cabbages legally have the same legal rights as any citizen. This is due to the Emancipation proclamation that was shadow written by Lord Atticus Larkin was still written by Mad King Vidas.

Closians will claim this doesn't exist unless pushed on the matter.

[Station 12]

The E2 line of remodeled Enforcer units have been recalled.

The remodeled Enforcer units had enhanced sensors, they could see individual cells if they needed to, but this somehow led to them misunderstanding the anti-littering laws and executing citizens for "littering skincells".