Den Konstitution - A Reliable Newspaper from Luziyca

[Bojikami]

Why do we not just publish our own newspaper?

Because the opinion column of a Ruro-Boijkami newspaper would be a flame war.

We could divide it into two parts, the Ruridovan part and a Bojikamiian part. (Germany reference.)

[Ruridova]

Because the opinion column of a Ruro-Boijkami newspaper would be a flame war.

We could divide it into two parts, the Ruridovan part and a Bojikamiian part. (Germany reference.)

Or, in the Ruriverse, Dansbruck/Wurtschweig reference. And that would still be crazy.

[Bojikami]

We could divide it into two parts, the Ruridovan part and a Bojikamiian part. (Germany reference.)

Or, in the Ruriverse, Dansbruck/Wurtschweig reference. And that would still be crazy.

Yea, for both sides I guess.

[Ruridova]

Or, in the Ruriverse, Dansbruck/Wurtschweig reference. And that would still be crazy.

Yea, for both sides I guess.

We'd be attacking ourselves and Luziyca.

[Luziyca]

Take the bloody discussion elsewhere, please. *me smacks both o' them with a redneck Sister Sweden*

[Swilatia]

Swilatians respond to "IQ results for 2013 revealed". Replies collected from various online discussions.

- "The guy said he had to give the paper 100%, which is why it has 61%. Really makes you wonder how smart Luziycans really are. Anyway, I would have given it a 45%. There was at least quite a bit of effort put into making it as terrible as it was."

- "There's such a thing as 12th grade? I guess Luziycan kids are so slow they need another 2 years to catch up with the rest of Esquarium"

- "Did they hand out tests to all the little village schools in Bulundia? Only way to be sure..."

- "I'd bet the guy who wrote that paper went on to write aticles of The Pickle."

- "I bet the questions were all about Luziycan imperialism and how the Gage Tax System is the best idea ever. Hint: it isn't."

- "Nope, the constitution simply cannot talk about Namor without mentioning Mojing. Looks like I owe sombody 5sw."

- "I bet we'd have scored better if we let that guy in Wenesia gun down a few more kids. Too soon? Well, they seemed to love the idea of 1600 students being crushed to death under a collapsing buidling."

[Ainin]

-derp-

[Allemonde]

We allow any newspaper to read and widely distributed in Allemonde. Our citizenry is highly educated and call tell the difference between truth and propaganda. Would you like to interview our Council of Ten, who make up the executive branch?

[Bleckonia]

I moved to Esqarium.

PLEASE do an article about our moving. I want to see what Luziycans think about us.

[The Republic of Lanos]

We're not on the list? Sweet.

[Zokoria]

Zokorian response to the IQ article:

"We're surprised why we got low in the test, but we're still better off than those idiotic Namorese, Iglesians, and Radiatians anyway."

[United Provinces of Atlantica]

Does The Constitution accept interviews with Socialist bisexuals? If so, than Prime Minster Matias J. Larson would like to do an interview with The Constitution.

We are quite glad that we were not on the IQ Test, since they would say that we are extremely dumb, which we're not. Luckily we don't have many tests here in Atlantica.

[Luziyca]

---

Secret government documents from Ainin revealed

It had been stored in this vault since 1991

FORESTIA, AININ - Today, an insider source for a government department in Ainin gave us the exclusive on a secret document dating back to the war, which Ainin has plans to reveal in 2059. This document was their strategy in the event that Ainin declared war with East Luziyca, and fought alongside the communists in West Luziyca.

The insider, who shall be known as "Marshal Petain" from hereon forth, gave us the details for the plan, known as "Plan Red," or in French, "Plan Rouge", which has not been updated since reunification of Luziyca in 1997 under a free and democratic regime.

"I," Marshal Petain said, "shall reveal the plan. The first step of this plan is to send bombers ouest de Namor, to bomb the vivre merde out of them. When la défense becomes startled, we then storm la côte nord of Luziyca, Then, when la résistance devient féroce comme un chien casse colère, we then pull back, and establish a naval defense line in le Great Esquarium Ocean. That is what they proposed in 1991, and the reason why they ditched the plan is due to two things. Luziycan reunification, and la révolution nordiquefeu."

When we asked him how he got in, he replied, "It is quite ridiculously easy. If it asks for a password, I just press la barre d'espace, and then I can read the document."

We then asked him what MOTIVATED him to share these plans with us.

Marshal Petain then stated, "I wanted to show the Luziycans that they MAY have sinister motives. They may be strong trading partners, BUT below the surface, it is clear that Ainin wants to impose a communist dictatorship within the freest nation in Esquarium. Thus, I felt a patriotic duty to reveal it to my fellow kin, to let them know that Ainin is secretly a communist dictatorship."

Finally, we asked him one last question, whether he feared being fired.

"I doubt it. I did it tons of times before, nothing happened to me, and I doubt they'd do anything. Maybe give me a warning but that's it."

Thus, in conclusion, these documents from 1991 show that Ainin supported West Luziyca, a communist dictatorship, and thus is likely to support such regimes like Red Iglesiantis, or Red Namor.

[Luziyca]

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First book by Sorna Letivenko released, details life in Swilatia

This book provides an accurate picture of life in Swilatia outside of what they want you to see

BETHLEHEM, LUZIYCA - Today, Communist Hell, a book by Sorna Letivenko, a former police officer who was only fired because the Swilatians were too soft on crime has been released worldwide. Throughout many bookstores and on Kindles, many eagerly got it, whether for their e-readers, or paperback version. It paints quite a vivid picture of life in Swilatia. It is on sale in Luziyca for Д7.49, and in Swilatia for 5,99sw.

This book has six chapters, for a 250 page book, which makes it quite perfect to read at home or for an assignment at school.

Chapter 1: The Immigrant - It details his decision to emigrate Luziyca, to Cernograd, with a goal to depose the communist regime, and taking his family. It also describes the journey.
Chapter 2: Welcome to Hell - It shows them trying to adjust to Swilatian culture. Sorna gets a job as a police officer, his wife becomes a stay-at-home mom, and the children are insular and isolated.
Chapter 3: The Propaganda Machine - It describes the education system as placed in this communist country, and the state of schools. It shows torture of children, including their daughter, Karen, at the school. It shows that schools in Cernograd were worse than schools in Kashui, and even how its economy is IDENTICAL to Commie Land.
Chapter 4: Soft on Crime - This chapter describes the Swilatian "police" system and "judicial" system, and how they benefit criminals, and NOT the victims of the crimes. It also describes his experience in Cernograd's Police.
Chapter 5: Escaping from Communism - It shows that he got fired, and the police began looking for him for he suspected to be a CIA agent. He got his family to escape Swilatia, to their homeland, on time.
Chapter 6: Back Home - It details how he was welcomed as a hero, for trying to remain tough on crime, even when communists refused his noble efforts.

Already, it is topping The Constitution's Bestseller List. So far, it has garnered many reviews, most of them positive.

A 19 year old man said, "This book is great. It tells more of the truth than the propaganda that Swilatia spouts out to the world."
Jacob Kuyumbaye, author of The Truth Behind Empire stated, "It was quite a good read. It exposes Swilatia as a communist hellhole. Quite coherent, it is quite well done, and I feel it will start a revolution in Swilatia."

A Swilatian, clearly brainwashed had this to say, as a police officer had a gun pointed to his head: "It is bad, because it comes from Naziyca. We live in a shiny land of freedom and democracy, full of rainbows and butterflies. Also, it either has to sell for 6,00sw, or it's banned! Oh wait, it's already banned!"

Thus, it has proved that this book is a hit amongst those who support freedom and democracy, and should be read. If you haven't gotten this book, you must get it now, for it exposes the truth of Swilatia.

[Swilatia]

Lena Najranse's Blog
Luziyca's favourite "newspaper" is at it again. Looks like their top "journalist", Jacob Kuyumbaye, has written a book about Swilatia! I guess his article wasn't enough now. Instead of a few sentences about how we tortured him at the airport by making him wait at passports a bit, we now have a whole chapter about it. As far as I know, he has yet to actually visit Swilatia. Except it turns out, Kuyumbaye didn't write this one, he just helped promote it. It was actually written by... Sorna Letivenko. At first I couldn't remember who he was, but it turns out I posted a video of him a while ago. He really seems like a nice, friendly guy.

What makes it really disturbing is that this guy actually has been in Swilatia. He was really terrible at his job, using it as an excuse to beat up homeless people, so we sent him packing. But his book seems more in line with Kuyumbaye's ramblings, than any observeable reality. Kind sad, really. It seems Luziycans are so brainwashed, that even after going out and seeing how things really are, they still prefer to believe what they hear from The Constitution, LRT, and the Lutheran Catholic Church. They can sail around the world, and coming home, say that the world is flat! Kuyumbaye said so!

The Luziycan media seemed to think this book is great for an assignment at school... well, at a Luziycan school, this is pretty much the sort of stuff we had to read in Gijirokastra. The book is "Banned in Svilasja Republika", as the poorly-designed cover proclaims, where it can be bought for 5,99sw - once again, no. You won't find it in any bookstore, but it can be easily bought on the internet, if you really have nothing better to spend 5,90sw on. I'll pass.

[Luziyca]

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Congress passes "Normalization of Relations Act, 2013"

Plans for 4 new ports of entry with Namor to be built within the next 3 years

FRONTIERSBURG, UPPER YORK - Today, after 63 years, Congress has passed the Normalization of Relations Act. With 251 ayes and 249 nays in the House of Representatives, and 70 ayes, 3 nays and 1 abstention, Luziyca will recognize the People's Republic of Namor as the legitimate government of all Namor excluding Oteki, Upper Zokoria, and West Chorea.

President Breuvi Shjoraski reluctantly signed the act, stating, "As much as I do not support communists, I feel this act (the Normalization Act) shall help increase our reputation as a country who genuinely cares for the people. However, as I sign it, I must state that their continued occupation over Upper Zokoria, West Chorea and Oteki shall not be tolerated."

The new legislation would switch recognition from the Republic of Namor, to the People's "Republic" of Namor, and within the bill, it states that "West Chorea would be recognized as part of a single Chorean Republic, Oteki as a sovereign state and Upper Zokoria as part of Zokoria." Not all is bad news though, as it announces to construct four new ports of entry and have it operating by 2016, and a reward of Д1,000,000 ($2,000,000) per annum to corporations from Luziyca who support trade with Namor. The new ports of entry will be near Hudson, Lower York (city), Upper York (city), and another port of entry a few hundred kilometers east of the capital of Eastern Luziyca, Salavat.

Quite a lot of people, especially in Greenwich protested, condemning it for "allowing communist propaganda to seep through the Barrier," and some are organizing a boycott to corporations that plan to expand into Namor.

Plans for a state visit to Namor by the President is yet to be determined if it would even happen. We feel that it may start the exchange of ideas: Namor may become free but at a price of Luziyca becoming communist.

[Jandaria]

Secretary-General, or General Secretary if you prefer, Jordan Hughes has claimed this newspaper "A biased, anti-communist, anti-socialist, and anti-freedom propaganda machine." The Constitution, which was actually allowed into Jandaria thanks to the secretary-general convincing the premier and minister of state made, is now banned and all copies are being hunted down and burned.

[Luziyca]

(Note for IC purposes, it has been placed on November 13th, 2013)

---

Stunning gains for Liberals, loss of seats by almost everyone else

Liberals have a spectacular increase, the Nationalists a spectacular decrease, with nearly every party losing seats to it

BETHLEHEM - At 8:00 am, Bethlehem time (7:00 am Jerusalem time, 6:00 am Gijirokastra time), all the ballots were counted and recounted, to confirm the results for the election of the House of Representatives for the period of 2014-2016, effective January 1st. Something that was unexpected by anyone was that the Liberal Party, with just 2 seats on October 1st(the closure of the 75th session of the House of Representatives), gained 145 seats.

At the eve of election, a Gallup poll surveyed and predicted that the Whigs would win by a 60% margin, plus or minus 3.5%, according to 100 people throughout the country. So it was a surprise and a cause for concern when it was found the Liberals became the second-largest party in Congress, and a sudden upsurge in popularity of said party. The results were that the Whigs got 53% of the vote, and 265 seats, with a loss of 26 seats, the Liberals with 29.5% of the vote, having 147 seats, gaining 145, the National Luziycan Party suffering a major loss, plummeting from 168 seats on Oct. 1st, 2013, to just 57 seats, a loss of 111 seats, and the Christian Luziycan Party, dropping from 39 seats on Oct. 1st, to 31, a loss of 8 seats.

The unexpected Liberal victory, had sparked concern, that despite efforts to keep communism in check, it has went into the defenses. Guy Naharov, representing the riding of Dawson-Vyborg, a key stronghold, stated that "the upsurge in the seat count of the Liberal Party, shows that they are only voting for them, to impose a Stalinist dictatorship, beginning with leaking in socialized medicine and welfare. Before you know, Luziyca shall be full of gulags, like the ones of West Luziyca under the rule of Erov Haclav."

A Liberal representative, first elected in 1998, representing the riding of Novi Bondhaagen, Catherine Bondevik, says that "I am quite proud that so many Luziycans are showing that the Liberal Party is right for them. But we need the co-operation of everyone, to correct past wrongs, to make Luziycan more freer than it is today, so much so that in 20 years time, the rest of the world shall see it as free. We will end our dependence on the dinosaur economy, because at this rate, it'll only last until say, 2150, at most, so we must start changing it now!"

In Greenwich, Greenwich State, protests were held, demanding a "thorough recount," concerned that the Liberals rigged the vote in their favor, especially with an upswing of seats.

The editors of The Constitution, feel that yes, the Liberals forced young people, to vote for them, to "prove their loyalty for a new communist state" that they themselves would like to impose on the free citizen of this Christian Republic. The fact that they gained 145 seats, is concerning, for while the Whigs still have 53%, if the Christians, Nationalists and the Whigs do not put a united front, by 2016, communism would be brought to the forefront again, and we'd be oppressed. If they win the 2016 Presidential Election, then we have done a lot of things that are wrong, and that we need a second revolution, that Huswa Varanken would've loved, to purge this country of communists.

[Luziyca]

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Operation Yewtree to begin, liberating Koyro utmost priority

Speech at Congress condemns Koy action

NAMO, NAMOR - After a terrorist attack, that destroyed the Aininian embassy, and significantly damaged the Luziycan embassy, Operation Yewtree is commenced to begin, as police action against the communist regime governing Koyro since 1994, and in its entirety in 2011.

Suspecting that Koyro did it, President Breuvi Shjoraski issued an ultimatum against Koyro. It did not reply as per the demands, but rather, issued an ultimatum. This ultimatum is what a communist leader would do, to cover up his human rights abuses, and it shows. After Koyro imprisoned diplomats, and now did this, it is clear we have to neutralize Koyro and in particular, clean Koyro of the entire Ohanka clan by whatever means necessary.

Many nations condemned the attacks, but a few commended the attacks. We sympathize with the Namorese here, whether they'd be from Chorea, or Oteki, for they have lost many innocent people. The CIA has estimated that the toll will likely be around 3,000 people.

Operation Yewtree will involve shock and awe tactics, as well setting up clandestine radio stations to inform the Koy populace without the communist propaganda that goes along with it. Three have been confirmed so far. If it is a success, the entire Ohanka clan will find itself sitting next to Satan, between Karl Marx and him, and freedom and democracy will be brought to Koyro.

Thus, we pray that our lads who are taking part in Operation Yewtree return home safe and sound, and may Koyro be truly free!

[Luziyca]

---

Prairie Land Apparel revealed to be operated by the Swilatian Government

Swilatian government behind operation of major
corporation in Eeri who refuses to do business with us

MABINOGI, EERI - After several months, we finally discovered the real reason why Prairie Land Apparel, despite a demand for their products in Luziyca do NOT want to do business with us: the company is owned and operated by the government of Swilatia, and that most of their products are produced in factories in Swilatia.

After our reporter, whose name shall be kept secret, brought several products from Prairie Land Apparel discovered their products were made in Swiliata, she was quite suspicious. Despite them reassuring the clothes were made in Eeri, it clearly says "MADE IN SWILATIA." As a result, we got permission to look at their records which reveals that 95% of their factories are located in Swilatia, of which half of those factories is within 15 km of Rudolice, Swilatia's "poorest" city.

But there was a black hole: who owns it. While they claim to be an Eeri-owned company, knowing most of their factories were in Swilatia, we had to check Swilatian records. When we saw it, it was shocking for it revealed that it was owned by the Swilatian government. Thus, it answered our question, why they refused to do business with us: because it was against Swilatian law, despite claims that it is because of our alleged human rights violations, which is blatantly untrue.

Ergo, the propaganda machine from Vilvek has claimed another corporation which initially seems loyal to the principles of equality, and so charitable, but in reality, is completely false: a total lie.

[Eeri]

LETTER OF RETRACTION

July 06

To the Editor of The Constitution

In regards to your article, Prairie Land Apparel revealed to be operated by the Swilatian Government, published July 02, the legal department of Prairie Land Apparel is demanding you print a retraction to your story due to the lack of basis in fact.

1. At no time has PLA Inc. disclosed any confidential financial records to any of the editorial staff of The Constitution.
2. PLA currently has no business operations in the country of Swiliata
3. All tags and/or lables of our products meet regulations set Eeri Trade and Revenue Commission (ETRC) and the Eeri Stock Exchange (ERSE) to subvert, disobey or undermine the rules and regulations set would be a violation of law and would result in delisting and/or legal action against the company.
4. PLA currently has no overseas manufacturing on it's products
5. PLA is owned by individuals and investors under the masthead PLA Incorporated none of whom are based out of Swiliata.
6. PLA refuses to do business with Luzyica at the insistence of company CEO due to Luzyica's well published and documented human rights abuses.

If you do not retract we will be forced to take legal action.

Marcus Vaughn
Chief Legal Officer
PLA Inc.

[Luziyca]

(Image)
LETTER OF RETRACTION

July 06

To the Editor of The Constitution

In regards to your article, Prairie Land Apparel revealed to be operated by the Swilatian Government, published July 02, the legal department of Prairie Land Apparel is demanding you print a retraction to your story due to the lack of basis in fact.

1. At no time has PLA Inc. disclosed any confidential financial records to any of the editorial staff of The Constitution.
2. PLA currently has no business operations in the country of Swiliata
3. All tags and/or lables of our products meet regulations set Eeri Trade and Revenue Commission (ETRC) and the Eeri Stock Exchange (ERSE) to subvert, disobey or undermine the rules and regulations set would be a violation of law and would result in delisting and/or legal action against the company.
4. PLA currently has no overseas manufacturing on it's products
5. PLA is owned by individuals and investors under the masthead PLA Incorporated none of whom are based out of Swiliata.
6. PLA refuses to do business with Luzyica at the insistence of company CEO due to Luzyica's well published and documented human rights abuses.

If you do not retract we will be forced to take legal action.

Marcus Vaughn
Chief Legal Officer
PLA Inc.

1. The information was obtained by insider agents working for the Eeri Stock Exchange
2. The fact that Swilatia has plans to open PLA stores in the country and that it had been used as an excuse to circumvent an embargo to send Swilatian goods owned by the PLA to Zokoria
3. The tags on the shirts we got from there in Eeri clearly show they are made in Swilatia, since it follows Swilatian regulations, but not those of Eeri
4. Evidence of factories in Rudolice beg to differ, all of which produce clothes to be sold under PLA
5. The evidence obtained by insiders from the Eeri Stock Exchange and the Swilatian government beg to differ, and that both are trying to save face
6. It is just a cover to prevent them from doing business whilst doing business in Zokoria, which according to communist nations, has far worse human rights violations.

Ergo, we have no plans to retract it, for these are the facts, as determined by many an insider, and those who have carefully done their homework and did not buy into your falsehoods. Also, since you do not operate in Luziyca, you technically have no right to file a lawsuit against us considering that we operate under Luziycan law. The evidence is clear that we are telling the truth, and that your attempts to save face have been detrimental to your reputation.

Signed,
Adam Varanken
CEO of the Constitution

[Lamoni]

Luziycan newspaper spreads lies and false accusations against Prarie Land Apparel, legal action expected soon

Maximillian Winterfeld
Staff Writer
Lamoni Today

In a bizzare battle of words, the Luziycan newspaper known as "The Constitution" has been spreading malicious lies and false accusations against Prarie Land Apparel, an Eerian company which is popular in the Free Republic.

This battle of words started when The Constitution lied, stating that PLA's products came from the nation of Swiliata. A check on the matter by Lamoni Today has revealed that all of PLA's products are made in Eeri by Eerian workers, so this claim from The Constitution was quickly found to be a malicious lie.

The second lie that was instigated by The Constitution was that PLA owns businesses in the nation of Swiliata. This allegation has also proven to be false, and in fact is highly suspected of having been started by the government of Luzyica, which is known to have a very poor human rights record. Indeed, the human rights record of Luzyica is the reason why PLA has consistently denied Luzyica the right to any PLA stores or merchandise, and is also the most likely reason why the government of Luzyica would have ordered The Constitution to lie about PLA and its operations in the first place.

Indeed, if The Constitution does not post an immediate retraction to their article of lies and slander against PLA, then PLA has threatened to take legal action against The Constitution. Marcus Vaughn, the Chief Legal Officer of PLA is expected to lead the legal charge against The Constitution, and possibly the nation of Luzyica itself. Lamoni Today will bring you more news about this situation as it becomes available, and is readying our own legal staff, in case Luzyica and The Constitution try to lie about us, or slander us.

[Luziyca]

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Former Embassy in Gusev to reopen after over forty years of inactivity

Embassy of Luziyca, Gusev, has been reopened after 43 years

GUSEV, OTEKI - The consulate of Luziyca, located in Oteki has opened today at eleven o' clock this morning, at the former embassy building of Luziyca, housing its embassy to the Second Republic of Oteki from its completion on June 6th, 1968, until December 25th, 1970, when during the Namorese invasion of Gusev after placing it in siege, it evacuated the embassy in Operation Frequent Wind, to Novi Bondhaagen.

To be styled the "Embassy of Luziyca, Oteki," while it will send ambassadors, ambassadors to this embassy, is a title for consul, and its responsibility will be the same as a consul. Only its salary (Д50,000 per year for an ambassador, or $100,000, v. Д30,000 a year for a consul, or $60,000) will be different, the "ambassador" will be paid the salary of an ambassador.

However, when it was opened, it was announced it will function as an embassy in name: to Namor, until the embassy in Namo has been complete, due to the terrorist attacks which destroyed the temporary offices in a modified RV on the embassy grounds committed by Koyro, as well as damaging the front facade of the embassy.

Having been planned to open in August, the government said that they hope to get the embassy in Namo up and running by the end of the year. Thus, in the interim, the Luziycan Ambassador to Namor has been sent from Namo to Gusev, for the time being, and will also function ex-officio, as the Ambassador to Oteki (the name of the Consul sent to the consulate in Gusev). When the embassy in Namo has been restored, and rebuilt after the attacks, the ambassador to Namor shall be returned to Namo, and a new Ambassador to Oteki (the aforementioned Consul) will be sent to Gusev.

When it opened, the Ambassador of Namor, sent when relations were normalized, Ryov Merkonsov, a Luziycan citizen, born in Lagania on June 5, 1947, and moved to Luziyca in 1950 following the fall of Oteki, said that "I may be an Otekian, but after having witnessed what occurred in Namo, I can say that I do not see the Namorese as monsters needing to be tamed, but rather, as civilized beings. I prefer Namo, compared to Gusev, where there is a lot of ethnic tensions here. But, I shall accept my role, both as Ambassador of Namor, and as an ambassador of Oteki, although I'll really be a consul."

Thus, all Luziycans wishing for assistance from the Luziycan Embassy in Namor should head to Gusev, for the time being, until the embassy in Namo is complete. The earliest date expected is November 1st, but many expect to open around New Year's Day.

[Floribbea]

We will authorize the sale of The Constitution in our nation, but if The Constitution is found to be lying, or is a propaganda paper meant to tell lies to influence people, than we will immediately cease sales in our nation.