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YellowApple National News Network (Open to Commentary)

A place to put national factbooks, embassy exchanges, and other information regarding the nations of the world. [In character]
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YellowApple
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YellowApple National News Network (Open to Commentary)

Postby YellowApple » Wed Sep 21, 2011 3:34 pm



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The YellowApple National News Network (YANNN) is a collection of the best anchors, reporters, and analysts YellowApple, Inc. has to offer, reporting the most important news stories in YellowApplan jurisdiction and beyond.


Studio


The YANNN's primary studio, located in the heart of Manzanopolis Prime, is home to a number of news anchors, analysts, and commentators. The studio features the following facilities:

  • Eight audio/video newsrooms
  • 32 audio-only newsrooms
  • 128 offices
  • 1 cafeteria
  • 4 recreational lounges
  • Reserved landing space for aerospace vehicles

The YANNN also maintains satellite facilities in most major YellowApplan settlements and in foreign nations (particularly ones of significance to YellowApplan affairs).



Staff


Bill Norland (Anchor, Commentator)


Marissa Jonafree (Anchor)


Carl Parkland (Anchor, Reporter)


Madden Hooves (Anchor, Commentator)


Robert Tydeman (Commentator)


Jennifer Akane (Analyst)


Marcus Freyburg (Analyst, Reporter)


Ashley Laxton (Reporter)


Ming Horei (Reporter)


Kamera Shye (Reporter)


Snappy Scoop (Reporter)



Channels


politics.yannn.com.ypl


local.yannn.com.ypl


celeb.yannn.com.ypl


finance.yannn.com.ypl


sports.yannn.com.ypl


music.yannn.com.ypl


cinema.yannn.com.ypl


weather.yannn.com.ypl


obit.yannn.com.ypl


jobs.yannn.com.ypl
Last edited by YellowApple on Thu Mar 23, 2017 9:37 pm, edited 8 times in total.

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YellowApple
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Reporting From the Moon!

Postby YellowApple » Wed Sep 21, 2011 4:00 pm

Reporting from the Moon!

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Lunaville, Project Black - As construction proceeds on Lunaville, the state-of-the-art YellowApplan lunar colony scheduled to be open for civilian habitation sometime next year, the many workers behind the project, in order to combat fatigue and demoralization from the long project, have been encouraged to participate in recreational activities among their respective construction teams.

Image

From impromptu sporting events to musical performances to plain silliness, the workers on the lunar surface are ensuring their mental health by keeping their minds off the pressures of the difficult labor they face daily to have Lunaville's construction completed by the recommended deadline.

Image

The laborers, most of which have Master's and Doctorate degrees from various YellowApplan universities in architectural engineering, are well fed and given private quarters in the Lunaville worksite facilities, in addition to a dozen unique recreation rooms and a communal pool and spa.

"I feel that a bit of luxury will pay off in a quality product," claims Project Foreman Jerry Senshu when inquired about his employees' immense amount of recreational time and activities. "I'm confident that we can still make our deadlines, and taking frequent breaks like this ensures that the work that is done is without distracting thoughts related to stress or fatigue."

The workers also made an interesting discovery of what seemed to be an equine individual on the lunar surface. One worker, upon finding this individual, proceeded to sing for it, which prompted cheerful dancing. The individual then wandered off, and the workers resumed construction of the main colony's life support facility.

Image

Lunaville should be complete by 01 Duary of next year.

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YellowApple
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A Trail of Hope: The Ruffnekian Equine Diaspora

Postby YellowApple » Sun Sep 25, 2011 6:44 pm

A Trail of Hope
The Ruffnekian Equine Diaspora


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Torvaldsville, YellowApple - Yesterday evening, the last wave of equine refugees from the nation of Ruffnekia arrived in the port districts of Torvaldsville, eager to be processed and relocated to their new homes both in and out of YellowApple. Presently, all 35 million liberated equines have been given residence either as YellowApplan citizens, or as residents of multiple other equine-friendly nations, most notably Sol Bella and the Greater Pony Herd.

Volunteers from all corners of the world, including the Greater Pony Herd, Muktar, and of course YellowApple, convened in Torvaldsville upon the arrival of the refugees, immediately going to work distributing home-cooked meals and blankets to the many individuals and assisting the newly-immigrated families as they moved into their residences throughout YellowApple.

Of course, their ordeals in Ruffnekia were certainly scarring, with many of the rescued equines indicating physical and psychological abuse and, in some instances, sexual assault. Although most of the refugees are progressing well with their psychological therapies, some are certainly taking it harder than others, and the psychological scarring may last for years for some individuals. The YellowApple Department of Domestic Relations has nonetheless pledged to stand by those who need the emotional assistance, willing to continue to provide counseling and, if needed, anti-psychotic medicines to treat the symptoms of the various personality and stress disorders that have cropped up from the psychological torture of slavery.


For the most part, however, most families are beginning to acclimate to their new YellowApplan lives, growing accustomed to the vastly different lifestyle of cultural freedom and economic prosperity. Of course, this also requires a significant adjustment to the predominantly urban lifestyle most YellowApplans experience and are already familiar with, but the Department of Domestic Relations is enthusiastic in doing what it can to aid in the refugees' reorientation.

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A large number of individuals have already found work in YellowApplan businesses and with the YellowApplan government, creating an estimated 10 million additional members to the YellowApplan workforce. The most heavily impacted industries are the agricultural, culinary, retail, manufacturing, and multimedia industries, with significant hiring in medical, military, and clerical fields within YellowApple's various governmental departments, including Lemon Hearts, who was hired by the Department of International Relations as a diplomatic representative.


All in all, the reception of the Ruffnekian equine refugees has been a positive one, indicating an evolving new era in YellowApplan society. As a way of celebrating the successes and recovering from the expenses of the immensely expensive operation, the YellowApple Department of Domestic Relations has organized the First Annual International Multicultural Festival, a week-long celebration of cultural diversity and acceptance. The Ruffnekian liberation also marks an official adoption of Ponyist ideals in YellowApplan government policy, with new laws in the works to further improve adoption of more democratic ideals in YellowApple, such as more direct elections and fewer restrictions when petitioning for the enactment of new laws, in addition to making "hoof-friendly" facilities mandatory, rather than optional as they are currently. Tax rates are also expected to drop significantly within the next decade.


In short, the Ruffnekian equine liberation is an indication of good things to come, and although there is certainly much work to be done, the people of YellowApple have many positive events and changes in store for them.
Last edited by YellowApple on Thu Oct 06, 2011 6:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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YellowApple
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A New YellowApple: The Era of Democratic Reform

Postby YellowApple » Mon Sep 26, 2011 11:26 pm

A New YellowApple
The Era of Democratic Reform

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Manzanopolis Prime, YellowApple - YellowApple has certainly faced quite a bit of positive change lately. Harmony, individuality, and creativity are tenets of the YellowApplan education system. Humans and equines work together, hand-in-hoof (or more precisely vice versa), throughout YellowApple's businesses, government, and society on the deepest levels of cooperation. And now, Administrator Amarillo Manzano has announced new policies regarding contractual servitude, declaring that private parties will no longer be able to own servitude contracts.

For the average citizen, the new legal precedent will have little to no effect on day-to-day life. Those convicted of crimes eligible for contractual servitude may still elect to serve, but will be placed exclusively under public ownership, and existing privately-owned contracts will continue to be valid until, of course, terminated by standard means. Thus, criminals will still be granted the same opportunities of redemption, only in a more controlled and easy-to-monitor environment. For those who own servants, this will obviously affect their ability to obtain additional servants, but their existing servants are - again - still their servants until the contract is terminated by normal means.

This is all part of a large reform package introduced today by the Administrative Council, which will take effect on 1 Unuary of next year. As you may have guessed, this is not the only proposed change in YellowApple, although the rest are more aesthetic.


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First up is a new flag. The Old Striped Banner of YellowApple is, well, old. It served its purpose well, but the flag is in need of a revitalization as a new, fresh image of YellowApplan harmony and prosperity. Currently, three proposed designs have become increasingly popular among YellowApplans, two of which (the first and last pictured) are neck-in-neck for the highest public approval rating, and the other in a close third.

The current leader on the hypothetical New Flag Scoreboard depicts the famed equine Applejack alongside the YellowApple itself; the pairing demonstrates the deep bonds between the YellowApplan Human and Equine races, while the presence of Applejack's image is symbolic of YellowApple's tradition of unwaveringly powerful work ethic and the nation's history of economic prosperity. Meanwhile, its direct competitor, which is based on the existing YellowApplan flag, features the YellowApple and two yellow stripes, which indicate YellowApple's rebirth and revitalization as a new version of itself. An additional flag (the second pictured) is similar to the current leader, but uses an image of the legendary Rainbow Dash, considered to be iconic of YellowApple's aerospace superiority in addition to its bidirectional devotion and loyalty between citizen and government.

The second aesthetic change is a new national anthem. Several melodies have been proposed, including those of "A New Argentina" ("A New YellowApple"), "Do You Hear The People Sing?", and the famed "Parasprite Polka". The latter-most is partially inspired by YellowApple's increasingly influential equine population, while also symbolizing YellowApple's creative and outside-the-box solutions to its problems and its heritage of musical expression.

The fourth change is not aesthetic as much as it is functional. That change is a series of new legal modifications bringing the nation of YellowApple and its laws in parallel with many Ponyist ideals, without specifically endorsing the worship of the Celestial Sisters of Ponyist religion over any other religious choice. This move is currently highly criticized by a number of political and spiritual groups, including the YellowApple Unified Association of Christian Welfare, despite the clear statement that the new policies are in line with only a generic and universal form of Ponyism and not endorsement of one religion over another among the YellowApplan public.

Proposed new laws in the package, dubbed the "Ponyist Package", include increased emphasis on creativity, cultural and ethnic tolerance, individuality, and individual success in all tenets of YellowApplan economics, government, and society, in order to help the nation of YellowApple transcend into a new state of cultural and economic enlightenment. Small businesses will receive significant tax cuts and will face less restrictions when entering the market regarding their licenses to sell, being permitted freedom of manufacture, a significant change from the current system of selectively accepting and denying business applications based on supply and demand on both domestic and international levels. The laws also place restrictions on the actions of YellowApplan military forces, including their authority to deploy weapons of widespread damage, such as chemical and nuclear agents, and a pledge to perform only humanitarian duties when abroad, unless in retaliation to an attack on YellowApple itself or said humanitarian deployments.


Also included in the "Ponyist Package" is a new compulsory voting system. The new system introduces direct democracy into the election of city and regional officials and the ability to introduce new city and regional laws and ordinances by public vote. This system also allows Administrative Council decisions to be vetoed by the YellowApplan national voting population with a two-thirds vote if a petition of referendum gains a sufficient portion (one-third or more) of citizen approval and signing.

The new policies are certainly rife with speculation and debate, but for the most part, YellowApple seems to be in agreement that the changes are for the best of YellowApple as a whole. Voting on the new flag and national anthem is set to occur in one week.

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YellowApple
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The Equine Genome Project: A New Understanding of Equine Lif

Postby YellowApple » Wed Oct 05, 2011 6:06 pm

The Equine Genome Project
A New Understanding of Equine Life

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Manzanopolis Prime, YellowApple - Last week, there was little understanding of the genetic properties of equines; despite the equine races being increasingly prevalent throughout YellowApple, there was little documentation on genotypical and phenotypical characteristics of the relatively new demographic.

Now, scientists and students at the University of Manzanopolis Prime, collaborating with students from institutions of advanced education worldwide, seek to remedy this lack of information. Thanks to the Equine Genome Project, there is now at least some basic information on equine nucleic biology.

So far, based on genetic samples from Lubyakian and YellowApplan equine donors, the equine genome is confirmed to consist of 24 XX and one XY chromosomal pair. Initial examinations have indicated that most of the equine chromosomes are similar structurally to those of humanoid species, though they contain characteristics more prevalent to horse chromosomes in several pairs, including the additional two chromosomal pairs when compared against human nucleic contents.

As for the function of the said chromosomes, they appear to correspond to genomes in much the same way as human chromosomes, with the exception of the two additional pairs, one of which (pair 24) seeming to carry the genotypical information differentiating between earth, unicorn, and pegasus equines (seapony equine samples have not yet been collected, as the project has just recently spread to Drop Point, where YellowApple's main seapony population exists, and thus it is unknown what differences seaponies and other equines have on a chromosomal level, or if they are even the same species).

Currently, the emphasis of the Equine Genome Project is gathering genetic samples from voluntary donors worldwide, which will improve sample diversity and make genetic comparisons - and thus genootypical correlation - significantly easier and more accurate. After that, identification of genotypes and their corresponding chromosomal locations will be performed, followed by a full examination of the nucleic codons to determine protein production patterns. Said codon examination will hopefully shed some insight on how equine flank markings and unicorn-specific telekinetic capabilities work on a biological level.

Readers are encouraged to follow the progress of the Equine Genome Project at eqp.ump.edu.ypl.

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Cybus1
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Cybus1 » Sat Jun 02, 2012 9:40 pm

YellowApple wrote:Reporting from the Moon!

(Image)

Lunaville, Project Black - As construction proceeds on Lunaville, the state-of-the-art YellowApplan lunar colony scheduled to be open for civilian habitation sometime next year, the many workers behind the project, in order to combat fatigue and demoralization from the long project, have been encouraged to participate in recreational activities among their respective construction teams.

(Image)

From impromptu sporting events to musical performances to plain silliness, the workers on the lunar surface are ensuring their mental health by keeping their minds off the pressures of the difficult labor they face daily to have Lunaville's construction completed by the recommended deadline.

(Image)

The laborers, most of which have Master's and Doctorate degrees from various YellowApplan universities in architectural engineering, are well fed and given private quarters in the Lunaville worksite facilities, in addition to a dozen unique recreation rooms and a communal pool and spa.

"I feel that a bit of luxury will pay off in a quality product," claims Project Foreman Jerry Senshu when inquired about his employees' immense amount of recreational time and activities. "I'm confident that we can still make our deadlines, and taking frequent breaks like this ensures that the work that is done is without distracting thoughts related to stress or fatigue."

The workers also made an interesting discovery of what seemed to be an equine individual on the lunar surface. One worker, upon finding this individual, proceeded to sing for it, which prompted cheerful dancing. The individual then wandered off, and the workers resumed construction of the main colony's life support facility.

(Image)

Lunaville should be complete by 01 Duary of next year.





An Imperial TASKMASTER Model Five Drone on a scouting run of the newly discovered version of Luna( orbiting Earth Version 15638910 to be exact), had taped this the last occurance, as well as the first two. After it was sent to Torchwood Section 3 for veiwing, it resulted in the first recorded report of a Torchwood Agent laughing out of humor. The holos were soon given to CybusNews for public showing, and has proven rather popular with the public. In fact, a commercial has been with it by CybusCare, promoting daily recreation and stress relief.

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YellowApple
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Postby YellowApple » Sat Jun 02, 2012 9:50 pm

Cybus1 wrote:OOC: This is a comment, as the title says "open to commentry"


OOC: Indeed it is. Now that I remember that this exists, I should actually post some news stories, eh?

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YellowApple
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Postby YellowApple » Wed Sep 05, 2012 10:34 pm

The Gholgoth Embargo and YellowApple, Inc.
How a Potential Global-Scale Economic Crisis Can Affect You

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Manzanopolis Prime - YellowApple, Inc. economic analysts are finally beginning to address the recent embargo declaration against the entire Gholgoth region and how it may affect YellowApple, Inc. According to Dr. Money Speaks with the YellowApple, Inc. International Commerce Division, it's not exactly positive.

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"YellowApple, Inc. does possess some financial interests in the Gholgoth region," Dr. Speaks commented, "particularly with the Empire of Yohannes, within whom several companies exist that have done business with YellowApple, Inc. in the past - and continue to do so presently. YellowApple, Inc. is thus doing what it can to maintain consumer confidence in Yohannesian businesses so as to avoid domestic complications."

When asked about other factors that might come into play with the recent embargo, Dr. Speaks continued to express concern.

"The other issue we may experience is decreased revenues," he stated. "The Gholgoth embargo is negatively affecting global economic strength, and we're therefore already taking measures to ensure that we maintain a consistent revenue, even if we do see a momentary decrease in customers as less global spending is occurring. If we play our cards right, we might actually emerge from this crisis with a headstart over over corporations; though we will regardless encounter some hiccups, this will provide us an opportunity to acquire additional global market share in our key industries - namely, computing, aerospace, electronics, and carbon allotrope materials."

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Other analysts - such as Dr. Edward Cortland of the University of Manzanopolis Prime's Economics Department - express more positive opinions.

"I do not suspect [the embargo] to have any significant negative effects on YellowApplan domestic economies," Dr. Cortland remarked. "Though we do indeed have interests in Yohannes, they are minimal; the Yohannesische Bundesbank has a relatively-scarce market share in YellowApplan markets, with only two-tenths [Editor's note: two-tenths in hexadecimal translates to one-eighth in decimal] of the YellowApplan market actually held by the Yohannesian banking institution. Frankly, they're the only major player in YellowApplan domestic economics that originates from the Gholgoth region at all, let alone Yohannes. The only possible risk is the drop in customers due to foreign economic issues, but that can be made up for both by customers unaffected entirely and by customers diverted from Gholgoth toward YellowApple, Inc. and other YellowApplan businesses. YellowApple, Inc. is best off focusing on maximizing its customer base and global market share at this time, while global economic crisis has the markets shaken up; when the dust settles, YellowApple, Inc. will be the company standing tallest, and I reckon that record highs in profits can be attained."

Regardless of the positive energy - or lack thereof - expressed in the wake of this impending global crisis, one thing is certain: YellowApple, Inc. has an opportunity to solidify and grow its market shares, and the Department of Corporate Operations seeks to do exactly that.

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YellowApple
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Postby YellowApple » Tue Jan 22, 2013 3:31 am



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YellowApple National News Network
International Broadcast | Priority


Administrator Manzano Getting More 'Feisty'
¿Good Change of Pace, or Too Reminiscent of the Beacon Era?

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Manzanopolis Prime - It wasn't too long ago that Administrator Manzano declared the sovereignty of the Holy Britannian Empire 'Null and Void' in response to the recent Britannian legislation restricting the rights of homosexuals, bisexuals, and transgendered persons within Britannia, and now it seems she has entered yet another diplomatic spat, this time revolving around a much smaller monarchy by the name of Kedri. Unlike her correspondences with the Britannians, however, Administrator Manzano has turned to less-than-conventional tactics, threatening to amass YellowApple, Inc.'s technological infrastructure to send "the most homoerotic godzillagram ever transmitted" through Kedrian networks and declaring such an operation to be entitled "Operation: Gay-Man Saves the Day Once Again".

Though the previous assertive response to Britannian legislation was met with mostly positive feedback, YellowApplan citizens are this time reporting more mixed responses. Recent polls have indicated that 35% of YellowApplan citizens feel that the Administrator has become too aggressive, though 30% state that the Administrator's belligerence is a welcome change of pace from her normal calm, and the remaining 35% of polltakers were undecided or neutral regarding her recent change in demeanor.

"There are several reasons why Administrator Manzano may be experiencing this sudden alteration of mood and behavior," Dr. Jennifer Limnio, senior psychologist with the Del Tangerino Institute of Medicine, remarked in response to our inquiries. "There may be a personal conflict she is enduring, which is affecting her ability to maintain rational thought. Her status as the only YellowApplan of the subspecies Equus sapiens regalis may also provide insight; her recent behavioral shifts may be a part of winged-unicorn behavioral development. Historical Equestrian documents indicate that one other Equus sapiens regalis specimen - Princess Luna - experienced a similar alteration of behavior, which resulted in her fabled transformation into 'Nightmare Moon' and her subsequent exile by her sister, Celestia."

When asked about how long such a period may last, Dr. Limnio remarked that "it is difficult to determine such a duration; it took a millennium of solitude (assuming chronological correctness of Equestrian documentation) to bring Luna back to terms with her normal self." Dr. Limnio, however, then mentioned that "given Administrator Manzano's behavioral tendencies, as well as a more developed understanding of equine psychology, it should be possible to significantly shorten the duration of such a phase - and additionally reduce the intensity - if a psychological intervention is initiated next-to-immediately".

According to YellowApple, Inc.'s Information Technology Division, neither a distributed-denial-of-service attack upon Kedrian internet infrastructure (as proposed by Administrator Manzano) nor a potential counterattack from the nation's supporters would have a significant impact on YellowApple, Inc. internet communications as a whole, given the distributed nature of YellowApplan wide-area network topology. However, the Department of International Relations is hopeful that a peaceful diplomatic arrangement can be made in spite of the Administrator's perceived hostility.

Administrator Manzano has not yet responded to inquiries regarding the subject.

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YellowApple
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Postby YellowApple » Thu Feb 28, 2013 3:54 pm



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YellowApple National News Network
International Broadcast | Priority


Smoking Legalization Plan Under Consideration
Designated Smoking Areas May Be Coming To Your Area

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Manzanopolis Prime - According to the testimony of a currently-unnamed source within the Department of Domestic Relations, YellowApple, Inc. may be in the process of legalizing both the import/possession of tobacco and the combustive consumption of both tobacco and cannabis (as opposed to the latter's currently-common incorporation into foods and tea). Other substances with psychological effects - including salvia and opium - will also be affected by the decision-making reported to be taking place within the Administrative Council.

"The DoDR has been examining a large amount of data collected in the wake of the YellowApplan-Angrivantian War and the Astleyville unrest which preceded it," the source said. "One of the reasons why criminal activity was prevalent within Astleyville was the illegality of tobacco products and the black market which revolved around their use. The DoDR is thus collaborating with the rest of the Administrative Council in order to establish a way to legalize combustive consumption of certain substances - including tobacco - without introducing the health and safety hazards to YellowApplans as a whole that the current ban was designed to eliminate."

The source mentions that part of the Department of Domestic Relations' plan involves the establishment of "designated combustive-consumption areas", which, according to the source, "are to operate on atmospheric regulation systems seperate from the rest of a city or settlement component, so as to avoid contamination of general-public atmospheres." This system would not be much different from the current smoking-friendly speakeasies; it would, in fact, likely involve retrofitting said establishments to utilize "contaminant-filtration" atmospheric regulation systems separate from components' main atmospheres, as well as adding an airlock in order to prevent contaminants from escaping the designated smoking areas.

In addition, the source indicates that residence owners would also be eligible for the retrofitting if they desired to consume tobacco within their own homes, and public zones may be constructed in order to service YellowApplans who are not homeowners and reside in locations where tobacco consumption is forbidden. Furthermore, the source has indicated that local jurisdictions would be permitted to institute their own legislation - be it full bands, heavier regulations, or fewer regulations - at their discretion.

We surveyed a selection of YellowApplans here in Manzanopolis Prime regarding the rumored legalization, and the reactions are mixed. While approximately 22% of the individuals are indifferent, 33% feel that the absolute ban on tobacco should be upheld, and 29% would be welcoming of the new law. 16%, meanwhile, felt that the rumored lifting of the ban isn't going far enough, feeling that tobacco laws would still be too restrictive.

The Department of Domestic Relations has yet to respond to our inquiries regarding the rumored legalization efforts.

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Lolloh
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Postby Lolloh » Sun May 11, 2014 4:13 pm

This is actually pretty good. I'll be commenting in the form of opinion articles and letters to the editor, which most newspapers have. The writers will generally be Lollohian expats, equine and human, living in in YellowApple, though I'm confused as to whether you're a corporation or a nation.


Lunaville to Open; Equine Species on the Moon
By: Frederick Tumbleton

Frankly, I can't help but feel that this moon base is a waste of national resources, as there is no real reason for it. Extensive research on the moon has already been conducted, and a much smaller, more economical moon base could be constructed instead for such purposes. Getting people to live on the moon is simply made, unless you plan to terraform it first, which will take upwards of millennia to do.
On the subject of a mysterious equine on the moon, this is much more logical. In 1987, on a second moon mission, Lollohian astronauts reported seeing such an equine creature. And the mission again saw the strange equine, nicknamed "Nightmare," following their ship back to Earth. Such occurrences were again reported on the 1989, 1999, and 2011 space missions, though little information has been gathered on the subject.
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Population is 135 million, plus 3 million in the colonies
National Army: 400,000 active (500,000 reserve)
Air Force: 100,000 active (200,000 reserve)
Navy: 200,000 active (400,000 reserve)
National Guard: 270,000 (all reserve)
Police Corps: 320,000 (paramilitary)
TOTAL: 2,400,000 (5.2/1000 active,17.8/1000 total)

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YellowApple
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Postby YellowApple » Mon May 19, 2014 7:41 pm

Lolloh wrote:This is actually pretty good. I'll be commenting in the form of opinion articles and letters to the editor, which most newspapers have. The writers will generally be Lollohian expats, equine and human, living in in YellowApple, though I'm confused as to whether you're a corporation or a nation.


YellowApple, Inc. is a corporation and a nation :)

All fine by me.




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YellowApple National News Network
International Broadcast | Editorial


Musings of a Minty-Fresh Pony
Minuette Colgate Talks About: Space Exploration

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¡Hey everyone! Minuette here. I want to start by stating the obvious: ¡my blog is now published by the YANNN! ¿Isn't that awesome? I think it's awesome. ¿You know what's even more awesome? ¡I get to respond to people who write in about the YANNN's articles, and I can say pretty much whatever I want! That's exciting. If this ends up being permanent, I could easily picture myself making a career out of this.




Anyway, so to begin, we got a message from a reader of some really old articles, and that message was forwarded to me to respond to, so here's that message:

Frederick Tumbleton wrote:Frankly, I can't help but feel that this moon base is a waste of national resources, as there is no real reason for it. Extensive research on the moon has already been conducted, and a much smaller, more economical moon base could be constructed instead for such purposes. Getting people to live on the moon is simply made, unless you plan to terraform it first, which will take upwards of millennia to do.

On the subject of a mysterious equine on the moon, this is much more logical. In 1987, on a second moon mission, Lollohian astronauts reported seeing such an equine creature. And the mission again saw the strange equine, nicknamed "Nightmare," following their ship back to Earth. Such occurrences were again reported on the 1989, 1999, and 2011 space missions, though little information has been gathered on the subject.


¡Hi Fred! ¿Can I call you Fred?

First, as a YellowApple, Inc. Corporate Representative, I've been to lots of places over the megaseconds. Heck, I've even been to entirely different universes. Pretty fun job. One of the places I've been to was Lunaville, YellowApple, Inc.'s largest lunar city, and I tell you what, since it opened to the general public a few megaseconds back, it's been booming.

For one, the lunar regolith is rich with silicon dioxide and aluminium oxide; mining those two geological resources was among our first priorities - both as a corporation and a nation - when carrying out the legacy of our American ancestors and devising a plan to send intelligent life once again to the moon. Silicon dioxide is a common component in glass, aerogels, and various other products, and can be refined into elemental silicon via carbothermic reduction and molten salt electrolysis for further uses, like in electronics or for the production of silicone products. Meanwhile, the aluminium oxide is typically smelted into metallic aluminium (whether pure or alloyed) for a wide variety of purposes, though it can also be used directly for things like superconductor fabrication and ruby synthesis. Breathable oxygen and potable water can be derived from the byproducts of these industrial processes, helping with the establishment of a self-sustainable settlement.

Combining that presence of useful raw materials with the low gravity on the lunar surface has allowed Lunaville to prosper as a major industrial center, and the population is expanding at a rather healthy pace to keep up with workforce needs. The next phase of construction - which introduces a launch ramp for propulsion of spacecraft, equipment, materials, and personnel into lunar orbit and beyond - is well underway.

Anyhow, on the note of Princess Luna - the pony pictured in the original article - ¿did you know that she's not the only "lunar mare"? Mare - meaning "sea" in Latin - is the term describing the basaltic plains on the near-Earth side of the Moon, or "lunar maria". Not necessarily relevant to the Lollohian observations, but I figured it to be a fun fact.




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Speaking of cool stuff in space, the Extrachronological Observatory - an astronomical facility orbiting in the farthest reaches of the star Concordia's sphere of influence - is almost positioned just right for it to observe the Solar System - and, therefore, Earth. Concordia is a few thousand lightyears away from Sol right now. ¿You know what that means? That's right: it means that for the first time, we have the opportunity to watch Earth's history unfold before our very eyes.

You see, light only travels so fast - ⣸⣸⣻⢿⣾⢹⢺⢽ meters per second (that's 299,792,458 for our non-YellowApplan audience), to be exact - and a "lightyear" is an astronomical term describing the distance light travels in a Gregorian year. Traditionally, this "speed of light" is the fastest anything can travel (even "superluminal" transit - like what YellowApple, Inc. uses to travel between planets, stars, galaxies, and even universes - only shortens distances, leading to the illusion of faster-than-light travel). Thanks to superluminal transit, we're able to beat light itself to its destination - in this case, the Extrachronological Observatory - and wait for light reflected thousands of Gregorian years ago to finally arrive.

Once the observatory is in position, it will begin calibrating a state-of-the-art telescope - the High-Fidelity Interstellar Observation Lens (HFIOL) - for observation of the surface of Earth as its surface reflects sunlight toward the observatory. The HFIOL will capture high-resolution images of the Earth's surface - with a fidelity of approximately one meter per pixel - in an unprecedented direct observation of Earth as it was during the Upper Paleolithic Era. With that kind of resolution, we - as a multiversal civilization - have a unique opportunity to witness firsthand the development of the very concept of civilization as we know it on Earth.

This isn't perfect, of course; the resolution - while very impressive for the distances involved - is still far too coarse to clearly distinguish most living organisms. The light is also subject to scattering and deflection by Oort cloud particles surrounding Sol, making for a very dim image; to compensate, this requires rather long exposures in most cases. That latter issue, however, is being addressed with a rather novel approach of compositing millions of high-speed photographs into one normalized photograph corrected for Earth's rotation, enabling clearer imagery of our own past. The former will be addressed with the proposed "Super-High-Fidelity Interstellar Observation Lens" (SHFIOL), which is expected to be deployed with the Extrachronological Observatory in a distant orbit around another star, Amicitia, sometime in the next 10 megaseconds.




Welp, that's all I have for y'all this time. ¡See you next time!

- Minuette "Head in the Stars" Colgate

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Postby YellowApple » Thu Oct 23, 2014 4:51 pm



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Fresh Look: YellowApplan Cuisine


reporter: Kamera Shye
location: Manzanopolis Prime, YellowApple, Inc.


It's a popular question: ¿just what do YellowApplans like to eat? ¿What foods are iconic? The obvious answer is probably "apples", but we've asked real YellowApplans what foods they really think of when they think "YellowApplan food", and the results might be surprising. Kamera Shye reporting, and we're going to take you on a field trip through YellowApple, Inc. to see exactly what the YellowApplan culinary scene is all about.

Manzanopolis Prime

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Pictured: Manzanopolan bacon-wrapped trout
For our first sampling of what YellowApplan cuisine has to offer, I began my journey in the heart of YellowApple, Inc. Here in Manzanopolis Prime, "La Manzana Grande", I met Head Chef Philippe Ederena at the Bait Bucket Bar and Restaurant, where he was happy to field a few questions about the crowd favorites on his menu.

If there's one dish at your restaurant that you'd consider to be an icon of YellowApplan culture, ¿what dish would that be?

¿Da most iconic? Most definitly the bacon-wrapped trout. 'Tis da ultimat reprezentation of YellowApplan ingenuity and industry; we uze da finest trout raized right here in Manzanopolis Prime, uzing the same techniques da first residents of Manzanopolis Prime uzed to raize their aquatic livestock.


¿But what is it about the bacon that makes it truly an icon of YellowApplan culture?

Da bacon is vital to da iconic YellowApplan flavor. We put our bacon through an applewood smoker to giv it da flavour locals expect and love. In addition, our bacon makes use of YellowApplan in vitro technologies, meaning dat our bacon is suitable for those who abstain from pork for moral reasons, is less expensive than raizing live pigs, and is a good demonstration of YellowApplan ingenuity.


Torvaldsville

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Pictured: Torvaldsvillian ifonjnei ("apple soup")
After having the chance to try some of Head Chef Ederena's delicious (though very heartburn-inducing for an equine like myself) bacon-wrapped trout for dinner, I went through the YellowApplan Superluminal Transit Network and took an aerospace transport to Torvaldsville, where I was treated to a wonderful breakfast with the local mayor, Caffeinated Scribe.

¿So what are we having for breakfast?

Today we're having a traditional ifonjnei - oats and apples, served hot.


So oatmeal, ¿right?

Yes, basically. Ifonjnei literally means "apple soup" in Equestrian, and was a very popular meal among the first wave of equine immigrants during the YellowApplan Equine Influx. Our ancestors had to make use of relatively-inexpensive ingredients while they at first struggled to adapt to the existing YellowApplan culture; subsequent generations had a much easier time after having drawn enough comparisons between YellowApplan and Equestrian lifestyles to thrive in their new home, yet this basic dish - with perhaps a few embellishments, like honey and cinnamon - lives on as a reminder of how far we've come from our humble beginnings. The dish is symbolic on many levels, representing the incredible transformations of and adaptations by the YellowApplan equine community, the city of Torvaldsville, and the multiversal whole of YellowApple, Inc. throughout the new era the Equine Influx ushered in.


Mayor Caffeinated Scribe and I then took a quick sightseeing tour through the Torvaldsville City Park and Torvaldsville Institute of Technology before I was off to my next destination.

Drop Point

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Pictured: beer-battered cod with sliced potatoes
When I landed in Drop Point, I was blown away. As YellowApple, Inc.'s only true city on the surface of Earth, and certainly the largest one to be built on the seafloor of any oceanic planet or moon, I found it to be a place of very unique and awe-inspiring characteristics.

After a very long elevator ride into the heart of the seafloor city, I walked through a spectacular city-scape of so-called "seascrapers" and seafloor tunnels before arriving at the world-famous Aqua Rose Bistro and Wine Bar, where a young girl named Felicia was happy to field some of my questions (with permission from her parents, of course).

¿So what are you having for lunch today, Felicia?

I'm having de cod and potatoes.


¿Are they good? I might have to try some.

¡They're delicious! I get them every time I com here.


¿Do you know the story behind them? ¿What makes them so special to you?

I think persons from Ingland came up with it, and then they came to Drop Point and brought it with them. I just think it's yummy. Lots of places around here have fish and potatoes, but the fish and potatoes here are my favorite.


¿What's the rest of your family having?

My herr is having a tuna salad, and my sherr is having cod and potatoes, ¡like me! My little gærr is having noodles and cheese.


And there you have it: a delightful (and delicious) insight into what foods YellowApplans love to eat. Kamera Shye reporting on the YellowApple National News Network. ¡See you around!

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Postby YellowApple » Sat Nov 22, 2014 2:38 pm



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Armed Brawl in Torvaldsville Saloon Leaves 24 Dead, 44 Wounded

Conflict Between Children of Ilúvatar and Brotherhood of Harmony Suspected as Cause



reporter: Ming Horei
location: Torvaldsville, YellowApple, Inc.

Torvaldsville's Park District has entered a state of lockdown while officials from the YellowApple Domestic Security Corps investigate a firefight believed to have involved members of the Children of Ilúvatar and Brotherhood of Harmony, two organizations with extreme human-supremacist and equine-supremacist ideologies (respectively). The firefight is reported to have started yestercycle at kilosecond 04, when members of a local chapter of the Brotherhood of Harmony entered the Red Hat Bar and Saloon in Torvaldsville's Park District and engaged in a verbal confrontation with members of the Children of Ilúvatar who were already patronizing the establishment. After heated verbal exchanges - including a series of speciest slurs between the two factions - a member of the Children of Ilúvatar brandished a semiautomatic pistol and began firing at the Brotherhood of Harmony members, who responded with fire from concealed side-mounted submachine guns. 8 BoH members and 7 CoI members were pronounced dead on the scene, along with 9 civilians - including the bartender - having been fatally wounded in the crossfire.

BoH and CoI members believed to have been involved in the firefight are currently at-large in the Park District, having fled the scene. Pockets of gunfire are being reported throughout the Linus Torvalds Memorial Park and surrounding areas as members of both the two major factions and various smaller gangs local to Torvaldsville engage one another in skirmishes. The Domestic Security Corps has already instituted a lockdown and curfew, and has begun to dispatch Enforcers to process all civilians in the affected Park District and neutralize any and all threats.

When asked for comment, representatives of both the Children of Ilúvatar and the Brotherhood of Harmony denied any formal involvement in the conflict. However, the firefights serve to punctuate record-high tensions between human-supremacist and equine-supremacist factions throughout YellowApplan jurisdiction, and particularly in cities like Torvaldsville where such factions are in frequent contact with one another. The YellowApple Department of Domestic Relations expects such tensions to continue to rise as human-supremacist and equine-supremacist factions continue to grow in size and number.

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Postby YellowApple » Sat Feb 07, 2015 10:38 pm



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Cat Scratch Fever Epidemic Rages Throughout YellowApplan Jurisdiction

Cannabis and Ted Nugent Record Sales at All-Time Record High (both puns intended!)



reporter: Ashley Laxton
location: Manzanopolis Prime, YellowApple, Inc.

An outbreak of Felidivirus scabere (a.k.a. "Cat Scratch Fever") continues to infect millions of Manzanopolis Prime residents, who are now roaming the streets in Ted Nugent t-shirts while air-guitaring and blasting late-20th-century rock n' roll music in public spaces.

"¡WOO! ¡TED NUGENT 2015!" exclaimed one of the recent victims of the outbreak, apparently even confused regarding which year is the present. "If I were in ðe Rhythm Nation, ye can bet yer ass I'd be votin' for 'im. ¡FUCK PAT BOONE!"

The comment is reportedly in reference to the ongoing presidential election in the Rhythm Nation, in which one of the candidates - none other than Ted Nugent himself, to the pleasant surprise of our reporting staff - currently holds a strong lead over the other four leading candidates. Likely as a result of the Felidivirus scabere outbreak, YellowApplan public support for Ted Nugent has gained a significant majority in our most recent poll, with the next-most supported candidate being Harmonist candidate Harvest Moon.

A vaccine for Felidivirus scabere is in progress, according to a spokesperson representing the University of Manzanopolis Prime's Virology Subdepartment, despite reports of the researchers having themselves being infected, cannabis smoke billowing out of the Virology Subdepartment's laboratory doors.

Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to go party at the University. ¡CAT SCRATCH FEVER!


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I'm so wearing this shirt right now, by the way.

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Postby YellowApple » Sat Feb 28, 2015 10:54 pm



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New Memories of Wellboneland Album Released

"Blood Eagle" Tops This Myriasecond's Charts



reporter: Ashley Laxton
location: Del Tangerino, YellowApple, Inc.


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Memories of Wellboneland - the latest YellowApplan screamo and metal sensation - has released their new full album "Blood Eagle". Unsurprisingly, the eponymous collaboration with YellowApplan norðmetal band Depleted Uranium Battleaxe is the star of the charts this myriasecond, with over ⢺⢸⢸ million downloads since release.

Of course, the eponymous "Blood Eagle" is not the only popular chart; MoW's latest album also includes hits previously released as singles - like "011010000110010101111001" and "¿Ping me, perhaps?" - along with a few previously-unreleased tracks like "Del Tangerino Style" and "Intergalactic Preserves".

Analytics reports from various download sites hosting "Blood Eagle" are indicating profound popularity among Intermediate-Education-age youths and geriatric retirees.

"Dude, ðis music is, like, fuckin' BR00TAL," reports such a geriatric retiree, her curly white hair, wrinkles, horn-rimmed spectacles, and faint odor of ginerbread cookies cleverly distracting passerbys from her passion for the sounds of screaming, melancholic adolescents. "Ðis shit reminds me of my younger days, when boys were boys, girls were girls, and we'd fuck shit up all cycle every cycle." Her remarks were punctuated with her display of a "metal-horns" hand gesture and the inadvertent manifestation of multilingual profanities tattooed all along her arm.

This is Ashley Laxton, headbanging my way through Del Tangerino.

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Postby YellowApple » Mon Mar 02, 2015 9:22 pm



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Musings of a Minty-Fresh Pony

Minuette Colgate Talks About: The White-Balance Illusion Effect



reporter: Minuette Colgate
location: Manzanopolis Prime, YellowApple, Inc.


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¡Hey everyone! Minuette here with yet another of my articles published by the YANNN. So cool, ¿right?

Well today, we're going to talk about something that's very special to me:

Some random fucking dress.

At least, so it seemed way back when, near the beginning of the 21st Century, when a photograph of a blue-and-black dress spurred what's now known two centuries later by a slightly-more-formal name: the white-balance illusion effect (WBIE).

The white-balance illusion effect, demonstrated in the original image above (preserved in its original JPEG-compressed form in the YellowApplan Internet Archive), sparked intense debate at the time among those who viewed it; many believed it to be "blue and black", while others believed it to be "white and gold".

We, of course, now know from other photographs of the same dress that it is indeed blue and black. So why is the above picture so confusing to look at for so many viewers?

Well, the white-balance illusion effect relies on a principle called color constancy, which causes the brains of many animals to recognize the colors of an object to be the same regardless of whether the object is illuminated or in shadow. When contextual information in an image is incomplete, however - perhaps there are insufficient reference points relating to lighting and colors - it becomes unclear whether or not an object is in shadow or being illuminated, and thus we get something similar to the white-balance illusion effect. To demonstrate this with the infamous blue dress, consider the below diagrams:


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On the left, you have the perception of the "white and gold" crowd: those whose brains register the dress to be in shadow (relative to the bright background behind it) and therefore perceive it to be white and gold. On the right, you have the perception of the "blue and black" crowd: those whose brains register the whole image as being excessively bright, and therefore perceive the dress to be blue and black.

For another example of this phenomenon, let's take a look at another pair of pictures:


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Specifically, have a look at the second card from the left (the pink one). Notice how it looks brighter in the blue-tinted image? It might surprise you that they're actually the same exact color. No really, they are. You can even check the color values of the pixels in that image; in both cases, you'll get the color corresponding to the 24-bit color ⣾⣻⣼⢻⣽⣽ (0xEBC3DD for our non-YellowApplan readers). They just look different because your brain is trying to adjust for the hue of the whole image.

Of course, this isn't the whole story in this famous instance of the white-balance illusion effect; other factors - especially the probable poor quality of the camera used to take the original photograph - contributed heavily to anomalous perception as well. However, it's still a solid scientific explanation.

So how is the white-balance illusion effect useful in real life? Well, as a Corporate Representative for YellowApple, Inc., it would be silly of me to not mention at least one product of YellowApple, Inc. that leverages it very well. Active-camouflaged products in YellowApple, Inc.'s military product lines are capable of leveraging the white-balance illusion effect as a visual disruption technique. Color-capable "e-Ink" layers are embedded in armor plating and uniform fabrics in order to allow them to change colors on-the-fly during combat operations, whether it's to better blend in with the surroundings or - in the case of YellowApplan aerospace craft - to confuse those attempting to gauge the vehicle's size, location, and velocity by shifting colors in a way that doesn't match ambient conditions - similar to "dazzle paint" used in early-20th-century warships, but much more sophisticated.

That's all I have this time around. ¡See you later!

-- Minuette "Team Blue-and-Black" Colgate

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Postby YellowApple » Wed May 13, 2015 11:25 pm



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¡Rumour Roundup!

'Cause 'Tis a Good Time as Any



reporter: Snappy Scoop
location: Manzanopolis Prime

Snappy Scoop here with, well, the snappiest scoop!

"Tentacle Monsters" Suspected as Cause of Sanitary Congestion

(Del Tangerino) Statistically-high sewage congestion is now rumored to be the result of "tentacle monsters" living in Del Tangerino's sewer system. The YellowApple Department of Infrastructure is currently investigating, but has yet to find anything suspicious other than graffiti depicting the words "LEAVE US ALONE".

According to rumours among Del Tangerino locals, the "tentacles" are known to infest latrines at random, but a local news reporting agency - the Tangerino Tribune - interviewed multiple supposed victims and established a dietary pattern of "spicy foods". This is consistent with reports that dumping capsaicin-rich substances - such as hot sauce or pepper spray - down a Del Tangerinian latrine or washbasin will result in said fixture being mysteriously clean within several kiloseconds. Neither attacks on persons nor the cleaning behaviours of these "tentacles" have been confirmed, since the reported victims thus far have elected to remain anonymous.

Former Administrator Jonathan Beacon May Have Been Erroneously Elected

(Manzanopolis Prime) After noticing discrepancies between published ballot records and voter statistics during the Second Administrative Election, YellowApplan political and economic watchdog group Infinite Eyeballs reported a 14% probability that Former Administrator Jonathan Beacon was elected into the position of Administrator and Voice of YellowApple due to a network partition forming as a result of the Ambassador Bar and Grill Incident (during which Former Administrator Amarillo Manzano, among others, was assassinated by one or more Angrivantian covert agents). If Infinite Eyes' hypothesis is correct, this network partition may have caused voting in Manzanopolis Prime's Freight District to desynchronize with the remainder of the Online Election System, causing the over 1 million votes - which were expected to be in favor of runner-up Chief Secretary of Transportation Otto Pighlott - to be lost.

An Infinite Eyes spokeperson reports that the organization has requested error logs during that time period related to network infrastructure from the YellowApple Department of Infrastructure's Telecommunications Division. The Department of Infrastructure has yet to comment. A handful of citizens believe that then Chief Secretary of International Relations Beacon - or perhaps some of his staffers - may have bribed Department of Infrastructure technicians into deliberately "failing to notice" the network connectivity issues between the Freight District and the Administrative District, though this particular rumour has yet to be substantiated with even circumstantial evidence.

Remote Outposts on Chiron Believed to be Haunted

(Sunny Mesa) Residents of Sunny Mesa, Chiron, Alpha Centauri have reported instances of "poltergeist"-like occurrences in various buildings, particularly Distillery ⢸⢻ (03) of the Sunny Mesa Brewing Company; a handful of residents claim to have witnessed "shimmering beings" running about the distillery floor and escaping into neighboring buildings. The local hospital has begun an investigation for xenofungal spore contamination in and around Distillery ⢸⢻, suspecting the "shimmering beings" to be hallucinations caused by inhalation/ingestion of airborne xenofungal spores.

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Postby YellowApple » Thu Feb 23, 2017 9:08 pm



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Department of Domestic Relations Reorganized

Two New Departments Now Established



reporter: Marcus Freyburg
location: Manzanopolis Prime
Administrator Fostera Manzano has announced the establishment of two new departments of YellowApple, Inc., to be created as offshoots of the Department of Domestic Relations.

The first newly-formed department - the Department of Information - will inherit the YellowApplan Citizen Database from the Department of Domestic Relations. In addition, the new department will inherit the YellowApplan National Databanks from the DoDR, and will be the primary agency responding to queries and generating Databanks Query Result reports. Administrator Manzano has appointed Halite ⢹⢸⣼⢾ to be the new department's Chief Secretary.

The second newly-formed department - the Department of Justice - will inherit YellowApple, Inc.'s judicial system from the DoDR. Administrator Manzano has appointed Executive Justice Sunnyside Up as the new department's Chief Secretary.

In a statement from the Administrator detailing the reorganization, she remarked that "the Department of Domestic Relations can now focus more exclusively on its primary objective: to ensure that all YellowApplans have the support they need to be productive members of YellowApplan society". The new duties of the DoDR will now primarily revolve around YellowApple, Inc.'s public welfare programs, as well as the coordination of other departments' public welfare programs.

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Postby YellowApple » Fri Feb 24, 2017 2:56 am



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Elections in the Leonorian Federation

Individualists and Eco-Warriors Rejoice for Current Leads



reporter: Ashley Laxton
location: Leonoria-Vysehrad
Elections in the recently-revolutionized Leonorian Federation are now underway as of ⢹⣽⢸|⣽⣾⣽:⢼⣸⢹. According to our sources within Leonoria, the two leading candidates in local polls are incumbent Katharina Polak (Leonorian Democratic Union) and environmentalist Lotte Pawelke (Leonorian Green Party), with approval ratings of 38% and 27%, respectively.

By sheer coincidence, opinion polls among YellowApplan citizens are demonstrating similar results, albeit much more extreme; Polak maintains a larger lead at 47% versus Pawelke's 31%. The numbers are wildly different among YellowApplans who immigrated from Leonoria leading up to the recent revolution, however; while Polak remains the most popular candidate in this demographic (at 57%), National Meritocratic Party candidate Friedrich Schesinger holds the second-place mark at 33%.

The YellowApple Department of International Relations states that YellowApple, Inc. tentatively supports both Polak and Pawelke based on YellowApplan popular opinion and on their respective alignment with YellowApplan ideals, and encourages the Leonorian Democratic Union and Leonorian Green Party to consider forming a coalition should either party fail to reach a majority.

(SYNDICATED)

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Postby YellowApple » Sat Feb 25, 2017 2:21 pm



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Administrator Manzano High as a Motherbucking Kite

But, like, so am I, so ¿who am I to judge?



reporter: Ming Horei
location: Sunny Mesa, Chiron, Alpha Centauri, YellowApple, Inc.
Hey, so like, we're totally having a blast here at the first annual Ligerfest, hosted by the Sunny Mesa Brewing Company here on Chiron. Awesome music, awesome food, awesome booze, awesome... uhh... other stuff. I guess the Administrator thinks so, too, 'cause now she's on stage totally covered in glow sticks and phosporescent paint giving a speech.

Administrator Fostera Manzano wrote:¡Ha-ha-hay Y'allowApple! ¿How y'all likin' Ligerfest?

(pause amid cheering)

Hell yeah, that's what I thought. ¡I haven't had this much fun in my whole damn life! Well, except for that one time I ate these weird pink mushrooms on Chiron... wait, ¡that was a kilosecond ago! Oh man, my head's totally spinning and it's awesome.

Anywho, so ¿can we, like, just be friends and stuff? I mean the world, bromine. ¡Let's just get fuckin' lit the hell up, man! ¿Who needs war and famine and disease and all that other sad shit when we can come together and... ¡hey! Soldier-dude, I'm your Commander in Chief and I'm giving you an order to disregard my previous order of "don't let me get high and do stupid shit in public", ¿capisce? This is goddamn Ligerfest; go have some fun and stop being such a square. Try being a dodecahedron; I fuckin' love dodecahedrons...

(brief arguing off-microphone, followed by a Domestic Security Corps Enforcer leaving the stage while muttering something about the decisions in life that led to this moment)

...sorry about Captain Hardass over there; I know he's doin' his job, but I'm totally fine, ¿see? Alright, well yeah, let's do our part to make this world and stuff a better place, ¿dig? ¡Save the trees! ¡Save the bees! ¡Save the whales! ¡Save the snails! Oh man, I can totally see the Elements of Harmony, man. Loyalty and Honesty and Kindness and Generosity and Laughter and Magic and all that shit, man. ¿Can we, like, apply those everywhere, y'all? I don't care if you're Harmonist or Christian or Muslim or Buddhist or Pagan or Wiccan or Satanist or atheist or whatever the heck you are; there's some good shit in them there Elements, man. Let's be loyal to our friends and families. Let's be honest with each other and ourselves. Let's be kind to our neighbors and generous to those who need our help. Let's laugh at the scary shit in this world and find some magic in our lives. Let's find that Friendship and Harmony the world's been missing.

I, like, totally hereby declare that YellowApple, Inc. shall, uh, totally be friendly and harmonious and stuff, man. Oh, and this band called Magic Smoke is totally going to write our new national anthem, man; they're fuckin' psychadelic.

Oh, and ¿do any of y'all know who this "Molly" person is or where I can find more of that "pay-oh-tea" stuff? Whatever, man; ¡let's keep this party going! ¿How 'bout a round of applause for Magic Smoke?


But yeah, totally surreal and awesome. I don't think I saw her blink through that whole speech. Magic Smoke was pretty awesome, finishing out the first night of this eight-cycle party. Man, I'm so damn high right now.

Anyway, like, Ming Horei here reporting from Ligerfest on Chiron. Stay frosty.

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Postby YellowApple » Thu Mar 23, 2017 9:08 pm



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YellowApple, Inc. to Establish Deputy Administrator Position

Administrator Soliciting Candidates for Impending Democratic Election



reporter: Marcus Freyburg
location: Manzanopolis Prime, YellowApple, Inc.


Continuing what seems to be a wave of upheaval and optimization throughout YellowApple, Inc.'s governmental structures, Administrator Manzano has now revealed her intention to establish a new "Deputy Administrator" position to serve as a second-in-command should the Administrator ever be unable to fulfill her duties.

Administrator Fostera Manzano wrote:In the event that I cannot perform my sworn duties for the people of YellowApple, Inc., there must be a second-in-command to continue to provide leadership in YellowApplan governmental, diplomatic, military, and commercial operations until either I resume fulfillment of my duties or the YellowApplan people elect a new Administrator. This is traditionally the role of the Administrative Council, but in the two cases where the Council actually acted in that capacity - once after my father's death, and again after the death of my predecessor - it has not been an ideal situation; the job of Administrator and Voice of YellowApple, Inc. requires a singular representative of the YellowApplan people, and is demonstrably poorly suited to a committee.

Unlike the Administrative Council positions, the Deputy Administrator will theoretically hold the same power as myself, or any future Administrator for that matter. Therefore, I feel it right for the Deputy Administrator to be appointed by the same power that appoints the Administrator - that is, it shall be a democratically-elected position. Prospective candidates are encouraged to register with the Department of Domestic Relations if they wish to be listed on the ballot.


Less than a kilosecond after the Administrator's announcement, there have reportedly been numerous bids for the newly-established political office. Margrét Sigurðardóttir, currently the mayor of Manzanopolis Prime, is an early frontrunner among the general public, as are Chief Secretary Joleen Areesh of the Department of Corporate Operations, Chief Secretary Benjamin Davis of the Department of Domestic Relations, and Lead Admiral Paul Phia'sa Soban of the Aerospace Defense Corps.

We will continue to provide updates as the election approaches and more candidates emerge from the woodwork.

Mallorea and Riva should resign
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YellowApple
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 13821
Founded: Apr 08, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby YellowApple » Fri Mar 24, 2017 1:12 am



Image


YellowApplans Overwhelmingly Support Vlatko Makapua for President of Nanaka'i

Kalākaua, Jakobi, and Hiroyama Also Popular



reporter: Marcus Freyburg
location: Leikaona, Nanaka'i
SYNDICATED


Our latest polls regarding foreign political offices - this time for the upcoming election for the President of Nanaka'i - have received quite the bombardment of responses from ordinary folks throughout YellowApplan jurisdiction. Interestingly enough, Vlatko Makapua - party leader of "The Bar At The Corner of Every Island Party of Nanaka'i" - has overwhelming support among the YellowApplans polled this time around, with a staggering approval rating of 94% (the highest we've ever seen for any candidate since Ted Nugent's successful bid for presidency in the Rhythm Nation).

When pressed for details, our respondents seemed to have a common theme, said best by a young woman from Trololopolis:

Katarina Antonovka (Trololopolis) wrote:¿Who needs silly political parties anyway? Ðe world needs more real parties. Ðis Vlatko guy knows what's up. ¿Can YellowApplans come to ðose luaus he wants to þrow? If so, ¡ðen count me ðe heck in!


Meanwhile, we've received some positive notes on quite a few other candidates:

Brian Pearmain (Sunny Mesa) wrote:Hiroyama's got ðe right idea; I ain't one for all ðat ecowarrior mumbo-jumbo, ¿but who can say "no" to more parks and electric transport? I sure can't.


Aheahe Hayward (Torvaldsville) wrote:Nanaka'ian way of life needs preserved, and I þink Alea Kalākaua is ðe right choice to preserve it. I might not live ðere anymore, but I agree wiþ my family back home; Nanaka'i might be just an island, but it's a great one - duh! - and I stand wiþ Alealea because I know she's gonna keep it ðat way.


A'raham 'A'es (YAEF ⢸⣿⣺⢽) wrote:Ye know, ðat Sarah-Nina Jakobi lady's got some good ideas. She's got ðe right idea about redistributin' wealþ; it oughtta be a voluntary þing, and the rich folks oughtta actually want to help out ðe poor folks. Jakobi's a good example in ðe right direction ðere.


Meanwhile, the Department of International Relations has tentatively announced support for Vlatko Makapua, Alea Kalākaua, and Kyouko Hiroyama, citing the general opinions of the YellowApplan populace and their respective alignments with YellowApplan ideals as the primary motivations for the informal endorsements.

The Department of Corporate Operations, meanwhile, also notes that - should Kyouko Hiroyama and/or her party rise to significant power - YellowApple, Inc.'s subsidiary AppleDrive is in an excellent position to assist with her mandate for transportation system electrification, recommending the RVS01-series line of rail vehicles and electrical supply systems to fulfill said mandate in a cost-effective way.

Mallorea and Riva should resign
Member of the One True Faith and Church. Join The Church of Derpy today!

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YellowApple
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 13821
Founded: Apr 08, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby YellowApple » Tue Mar 28, 2017 8:34 pm



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Deputy Administrator Elections Underway

YellowApplans Now Able to Cast Their Ballots



reporter: Marcus Freyburg
location: Manzanopolis Prime, YellowApple, Inc.


As previously reported, Administrator Fostera Manzano has pledged to establish the position of Deputy Administrator of YellowApple, Inc. to assist the Administrator with her duties. Per previous reports, the Deputy Administrator position is to be a democratically-elected position (as is the Administrator position).

Now that initial petitions for candidacy have been submitted and approved by the YellowApplan people, the actual election is ready to commence in full. YellowApplan citizens have until ⢹⣽⢹|⢹⣼⣻:⣼⣽⣸ (ed. note: 11 April 2217 20:13:12 UTC; residents of some universes in the multiverse may need to adjust the date based on their universe's respective chronological offset).

Given the importance of this election, we have established a dedicated news feed specifically for election coverage.

Mallorea and Riva should resign
Member of the One True Faith and Church. Join The Church of Derpy today!


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