NationStates

You know you're a Legionnaire when...

-You can buy weed for a lower price than cigarettes
-You lower the salary of politicians when you believe they fucked up
-You assault to near-death anyone who claims to be far-right wing
-You pull out a gun when people say your country reminds them of France
-You spend ridiculous amounts of money on holidays in the other side of the world
-Your poor friends go to corporate soup kitchens, government-mandatory, to eat some delicious remains from a nearby resort for free
-You ride your bike, and carry it around in the subway
-You keep complaining about your country but loving it anyhow
-Every bar has a music stage, and even the crappiest band gets 800 people jumping and screaming all over the place
-Your government allows so many immigrants inside, that it is forced to pass a law saying that the citizens can deal with immigrant criminals in their own way
-You don't care about your house because you almost only use it to sleep
-You can make more money by begging for it on the streets than an agriculture job
-Your government grabs ancient, wrecked buildings from the 1700s/1800s and expands them to skyscrapers, preserving the original design.
-You get bored of living in the same place for two weeks so you trade houses with someone else pretty much for free
-The street in front of your house is filled with dozens of cafés
-You constantly have an urge for caffeine
-Your corporate office has a small casino for when you're bored and have nothing to do
-Your government makes sure the public schools confuse your mind about faith, rendering you unable to pick one, and accepting all their traditions

You know you're from Tuxedo Mark when

- you have sex and then take note of the time, down to the second
- you regularly engage in orgies with total strangers, but you don't seem to enjoy them much
- you regularly engage in giant robot fights, but kicking with one leg is the only combat maneuver you know
- you feel more passionate about pouring detergent inside the washing machine (!) than about the destiny of your member-state
- you're surprised when you meet a girl that's strictly heterosexual
- you eat chicken and mashed potatoes every day
- you know what a "fucross" is and, if you're a girl, you have experienced it

You know you are from New Lyrane when...

- You are female.
- And so is your wife.
- You own no clothes or makeup.
- You can read thoughts.
- Also? You can kill somebody with your brain.
- You have served in the military.
- You have at least one child.
- You are in excellent physical shape.
- You are far more likely to own a bicycle than a car.
- You think 25 °C is cold.

You know you're from Sarcophilys if...

-You're by any chance, above 6 foot 5, extremly lean and unmuscular, and you have a vulture head...

-You are a terrific businessman

-You are greedy, cold hearted, and a true dirtball

-If you're in the lowest class, you have trouble finding food every day, and often you have to pay back the numerous gangs that prowl the streets

-If you're in the middle class, you work long hours for sub decent pay, and often your marriage ends because you slept with another woman (Even though your spouse more than likely had sex with another guy before you had your affair)

-If you're in the highest class, you are classified as beyond rich to any country, but to you in Sarcophilys, you strive for even more, your personal glory pushing down the lowest class even further...

-You own a human slave, usually for both sex and manual labour...

-Carrying a weapon other than a gun in your pocket for obvious protection...

You know you are from Anitgrum
When you don't know how to drive a car
When you are severing has served or will serve in the military
When you remark how adorable a badger the size of Polar bear is , kill it if it is in the legal requirements , then eat nothing but Badger for the next three weeks
When Mandarin ,Cantonese ,English, Spanish, Italian, French are your native languages but you can only write in English and cures exclusively in Spanish
When you can verbal assault a police officer as much as you like and visa versa
When you consider dandelions delicious
When you have never seen a surveillance camera in your life and consider such a thing a violation of civil rights
When you violently assault a tourist for littering in a national park
When you always complain about the weather
When you take shower in nearly boiling water regardless of how hot it is
When you refuse to turn on the air conditioner until you are an inch away from a heat stroke
When you refuse to the turn on the heater until your teeth chatter
When you control the paychecks of politicians
When you resist invaders to your last breath
When you consider suing some on the basis of slander or libel absurd
When you don't give a dam how many people, what sex, or race other people marry.
When you don't give a dam what other people's religious believes are

You know you are from the Branriech if. . .

you love vodka and guns

you think the military is the only carreer option you have or. . .

. . . You are in the military

you know more than 5 people in the military

you have evolved past hating others for what race or species they are

you have been exposed to lethal doses of radiation and survived

you have been in a spaceship at least once

You know you're from Maineiacs if...

Your favorite time of year is hockey finals week

Your second favorite time of year is the day the tax refund checks arrive

The traffic signs in your town are longer than the instruction booklet for your stereo

Your 5th grader is studying quantum mechanics

You smoke marijuana regularly, but never touch tobacco because "that sh*t'll kill ya"

You think Birkenstocks are formal footwear

You suspect every other nation of being facsist

Public nudity doesn't faze you at all

Your favorite website is a 24-hour-a-day hook up to the Space Station

You can proposition someone in at least 3 different languages

YKYAF Osterra if:
-You are used to nudity and weed on a beach.
-You come face to face with a man with a tin foil hat behind a petrol station an buy him a cookie.
-You find school fun.
-You like the teachers.
-You find cohabitation to be better than marriage.
-You spend college days drinking calpol and snorting glitter.
-You feel that your neighbourhood invented ironic shirts.
-You drink natural smoothies all the time.
-You have a hybrid which you drive to the internet cafe bookstore every Saturday.
-You do yoga at the park without caring about others laughing.
-You are so nitpicky that just after midnight you correct those referring to that day as tomorrow.
-You drink wine with every main meal.
-You walk around with 3D glasses with lenses pushed out.
-You find a two- minute tut more satisfying than silence.
-You start a flashmob everywear.
-You wear a lace glove and spend your life talking about how individual you are.
-You don't care about six packs- you just want the ironic shirt.
-You spend all day drawing pandas, unicorns and narwhals.

You know you are one of the Mercatorum if....

-You live in a residential complex several hundred stories high in an apartment as big as a free standing house,
-Your city has an entire street level devoted to pedestrians, then cars, then passenger trains, then deliveries and finally waste, garbage and water.
-You've earned your citizenship, probably through military service.
-You can still recite the Legionary Oath, your name, rank, century number and your Legionary anthem
-You keep a high-powered battle rifle in your home, and a pistol on your person almost all the time.
-You're concept of poverty is having to choose between the tailor and masseuse.
-You have no problems with nudity at the beach or pool, but think it obscene to be wearing a "slogan" t-shirt in public.
-You never leave home in anything less then a full suit and fedora.
-Politics is a fun distraction for some, but you sometimes forget why the government exists.
-You'd refuse to send your child to a government controlled school, if there were any.
-Your a member of a social guild, and your probably just as loyal to it as your Republic.
-You receive regular longevity treatments, and your probably at least 30 years older than you look.
-You need a neural chip installed in your brain that allows you to control most of the technology you encounter by thought and can easily store almost all of your memories inside.
-You've been happily married to the same person for well over a century.
-You've probably been genetically altered at birth.
-You're fear of carnivorous space vikings is entirely valid. Because they're known for their raids.
-Your concept of class warfare is the first Faborum vs. EQVES football match in the annual Guild Sports Tourney.
-You've used barbarian, communist, and foreigner as a slur, but haven't cussed more than once or twice (and never in the presence of a lady).
-You follow the codes of chivalry with dutiful passion not just with women but with everyone.
-You have 2400 television channels and near constant internet access but you'd honestly prefer to read.
-You describe foreign cultures on a sliding scale of disgustingly barbaric to dimly quaint to exotically primitive, with a few lucky ones being called civilized.
-You'd happily give a man the shirt off your back, but if he didn't offer to pay for it (an offer you'd turn down), you'd make a huff about his rudeness.
-You'd do the same thing as the above with your best friend and even your mother.
-You think drunkenness is a sign of weakness and only drink in moderation.
-You own at least a small share of your employer's company.
-You play at least one classical musical instrument and you can swing with it.

You know you're from the FKR when...

...you are a talking kangaroo.
...you are obsessed with football.
...you paint your fur in the colours of your favourite team during football matches.
...you say you're a buddhist, but you really don't give a crap about religion.
...you like to eat grass, a lot.
...you also like to drink grass tea.
...family barbeques mean eating your own backyard to you.
...alternatively, family barbeques mean burning red kangaroos at the stake to you, even though nobody does that anymore since the 18th century.
...you refer to antilopine kangaroos as wallabies suffering from napoleon complex.
...you like to contemplate how red kangaroos would taste with barbeque sauce.
...you think all eastern grey kangaroos are either gay or female.
...you tend to just forget that western grey kangaroos exist.
...whenever you speak your native language, you sound like a drunk Dutchman.
...you celebrate your birthday during summer, even when your birthday is during winter.
...you don't use cycling lanes, you use hopping lanes.
...you find it completely normal to see somebody get raped out on the streets in the west end of Riviruz.
...you occasionally join in.
...you like to make jokes about how many antilopine kangaroos it takes to screw in a light bulb, which is 2, one to donate his nose when he dies, and the other to screw it in.
...you hate Imeriata.
...you hate Imerians.
...you hate anything that's associated with Imeriata.
...you hate communists.
...you hate nazis.
...you think all Asians are automatically Jalanese.
...you hop away in fright at the sight of a chihuahua
...beer is pretty much part of your everyday meals.
...you smoke cannabis all the time.
...you even smoke cannabis in areas where it's illegal.
...you WILL find ways to buy cannabis, no matter what.
...you love swing music.
...you find the latest trend among the youth to listen to punk music outrageous.
...you find the old people hanging on to their swing music outrageous and crank the volume of your radio, which is playing punk music, up to 11 just to piss everyone off.
...you've already been playing video games when you still spent most of your days inside your mother's pouch.
...your mother has a pouch, by the way.

You know you are from The Cutest Bunnies if...

...you are very cute and a bunny.

You know you are from Veceria if ...

... you like the taste of any meat, raw or cooked, fish or any other animal.
... you think nudity is just normal.
... you flirt with every person being nice to you.
... you're curious and sometimes seem naive.
... you talk about gore, sex and weapons quite casually.
... you're totally ignoring how a person looks, and just go after their personality.
... you're sometimes arrogant to other species, and very arrogant to everyone thinking they're better than equal to Vecerians.
... you laugh at somebody saying '60-80' is old.
... you try to talk to animals like you talk to humans, even if you know that they won't answer.
... you're disgusted by people littering, and any non-eco-friendly power plants.
... you can't understand that somebody don't want to be kissed as a greeting.
... you always carry a large combat knife with you after your 21st birthday.
... you like to talk about philosophy for hours.
... you're usually talking in a sarcastic or ironic way.
... you're drinking more alcohol than most other, non-Vecerian people around you, and still won't get drunk.
... you think that an Absolute Monarchy is the only good political system out there.
... you have to cough and get red eyes when somebody smokes cigarettes around you.

You know you are from Albicia if...

-You live in a two room house
-You have no electricity
-You have no running water
-You have 200 calories a day
-You work 18 hours a day
-You have a dozen children
-You share your two room home with 5 other families
-Your clothes are a hundred years older than you
-Your only source of income is selling the feces your children collect
-2 of your children die every year
-That if you show any sign of dissent you are hung up on the wall of treachery
-You die before your thirty

You know you're a Scorpionyte Worker (aka Following Scorpion) when:

-You live in a nauseous cubicle, in a concrete sky rise building, among thirty identical buildings, and you call them your "home" and your "neighborhood" because it's as good as it gets
-You are selected to serve in the army like Americans are selected for jury duty
-You go to school every other year until you're 18; in those six years of education, you spend two of them learning how to be productive, the other two learning to be capitalist, discriminating and agressive, and the final two learning that corporations are your best friends
-Your government doesn't forbid you from leaving the country, but you won't do it because it's too expensive
-Your house's wallpaper and decoration are both made out of cheap advertising
-Today you see a mall with twenty local stores, tomorrow you'll see a mall with three brand new corporations
-Buying corporate products is a legit way to pay your taxes
-You have to drive hours through the desert everyday, in eighteen lane highways, where you pay a shitload of tolls, to get to your mining/extraction post where you work countless hours under little conditions
-You are taught to desperately make any money possible, so you continuously scam people, sell everything you can, and put money over your family
-Every store has a robotic cash register, which allows you to pay with any currency; as long as their pockets are full, that's all they want
-Finding a scorpion is your version of winning the lottery, due to millionaires paying over 5 million dollars just to have a Nyätten Scorpion
-You sincerely believe that Scorpionyte was the first country in the world, and its leader created the rest of it out of compassion for the human race
-You also honestly believe that Scorpionyte is the world's best country, and that every man outside still lives tougher lives.

You know you're from the Harrowlands if...
...you are a farmer
...you have red hair
...you are a farmer with red hair
...you speak in an incomprehensible rural dialect
...you are incessently drunk
...people make rude sheep jokes about you when you are abroad, like "what do they call a sheep tied to a pole in the Harrowlands? A leisure centre!"
...those jokes may actually have a grain of truth in them
...you're not sheepish about it
...you complain about all the bloody foreigners around when you travel abroad

You know you are from CTALNH if....
~You know the red-light district is government owned.
~You visit the red-light district regularly.
~You just saw and said Hi to the peoples militia.
~You just saluted the MP officer that passed in front of you.
~You just got home and saw your companion procreating with 4 men and the the first thing that comes out of your mouth is ''Can I join too''.
~You know there is a local party at 1 am..........
~You just saw someone getting dragged to the streets and getting shot for and accusation of smoking and actually you sympathise with the guys who shot him.
~You just went to the party headquarters for another lecture on how bad capitalists,fascists and Monarchists are.
~You are definitely a supporter if the C.P.O.C because if you weren't you would be sent to Katorga 13 for a long vacation a very long vacation.

You know you're from Tsvarchi if...

- You try to mount a police lion.
- You jump for joy when you see a body of water.
- You carry a bottle of sunblock in your knapsack.
- You're offended when somebody propositions you for sex, because you know you can get it for free.
- You smack your head when you see an ignorant tourist buying drugs from a guy off the street because you know he's being ripped off.
- You get pulled into a conga line several times a day.
- Other people's genitals rubbing against you isn't a big deal.
- You can identify a tourist with 99% accuracy because they're wearing clothes.
- You carry a machete on your person.
- You've just just declared the person you just met an arch nemesis because they tried to shake your hand.
- You consider getting off the train because there's an unoccupied seat, and you think that is a sign it'll explode.
- You think English is a terrible language, but use it more often than your native tongue.
- You see a five year old walking the streets alone, and start to feel bad about yourself because he probably knows how to get from any point in the city without asking for directions.
- You think people with driver certifcates are elitist snobs.
- You attend a party almost every night, but don't remember any of them.
- You're constantly surrounded by sapient non-humans, and you think nothing of it.
- You get really hostile when somebody criticises your royal family.
- You equate people that eat meat to child molesters.
- You think people that mention race, or believe it to be important, as ignorant.
- You consider homosexuals and heterosexuals as 'weird' because they're exclusive to one sex.
- You don't understand it when people make gender-specific jokes.
- When the electricity goes out you scream in terror because the party you're at has just screeched to a grinding halt.
- You cannot accurably describe the currency because you use debit cards for everything.
- You treat your dog better than your children.
- You met your current girlfriend because you grabbed her hand as she crossed the street by herself, as any man should.
- You know avenues go from east to west, and that streets go from north to south, but you always get it mixed up.
- You come across a body of water and there are people sitting in it with lawn chairs.
- You stand in front of a window long enough, somebody will eventually land on top of you.
- Your favorite celebrity walked by and you didn't freak out.
- A dozen machete wielding people come running because you screamed at a spider crawling on the floor.
- You know all the rainbow flags flying about everywhere means 'peace and diversity,' not 'gay pride.'
- There are at least three people in sleeping bags in the elevator.
- There's a massive shower rave party in the bathroom.
- About a quarter of the people you encounter on a daily basis are either drunk, high, or engaging in public fornication. Sometimes all three.
- You don't understand halloween, because dressing up in ridiculous costumes is something you do every single day.
- You can identify employees of retail establishments by the dog tags around their neck, since they're naked.
- Bathrooms are unisex, and you don't understand why they shouldn't be.
- If you forget to tip, you very well may end up on that person or company's 'doesn't tip' list, which is public.
- Never refuse a piece of pie, unless its apple pie, then run like hell.

You know you are from the 4th realm if your dead.

You know your from Legital if:
-you are a Rim
-you have a room dedicated to Science
-you have more than two filled bookshelves of books on medicine and science
-your clothing consists of the same clothing, but in different colors
-your house is built underground

You know your in Yuktova when....

-You see the occasional Communist Party parade in the capital city of Phostmer
-You can have guns in your home, but only as display
-You can often recite poetry from famous poets
-You have a degree in one of the major sciences
-You are a member of the Communist Party
-You shun Republicans and Republics
-You have a slight dark authoritarian side of you, but it is overpowered most of the time by freedom
-You sometimes flip flop on socioeconomic issues
-You have a both a boyfriend and girlfriend, and they are okay with it
-You support scientific advancement at any cost
-You assume other countries besides your allies are not trustworthy and slightly capitalistic
-The government provides food, cloths, housing and water for you
-You don't have to pay anything for a majority of things
-Sometimes you support dictatorships if your in power, and think your incorruptible
-You know you'd be an oppressive dictator and thus support democracy
-You have not used a private sector product in your entire life

You know your are from Pius the Grand when:

-You are heavily Roman Catholic yet you look like a Freman.
-The one book you are allowed to read you can't due to being illiterate.
-You know for a fact Unicorns and monkeys are dangerous.
-There's a ban on seafood,but you've never seen a sea.
-You've had to kill a zombie,even though there shouldn't be any about.
-Culture police are the Army.
-The average Templar knight has modified body armor and drives a walking semi.
-Artillery is small arms.
-Unfortunately your gun is only an automatic rifle.
-Horses are better then cars,and only in the most dire of emergency should be used as food.
-You've never actually seen the Enemy your great leader keeps spouting off about.
-But you'll never say that.
-You're told there's a surplus of steaks,but all you've gotten is canned spam.

You know you are from Antarsia when...

...you learn to fly before you learn to drive

...you have more guns than fingers

...you sleep in a hammock made of a parachute

...there are more trenchcoats in your closet than shirts

...your house smeels like motor oil and gunpowder

...you make your breakfast on a sun-heated egnine block

...you've woken up more times in the middle of the jungle naked and covered with paint than you've woken up in your parachute-hammock

...you keep a shotgun and a battleaxe hanging on your wall

...you have 4 husbands and 7 wives

...you brew alchohol so strong it could be used to launch a man into orbit

...you once wrote a grocery list on a pot leaf because you were out of paper

You Know you are from Neo-Axis Zeon if...

-you're gun collection takes up more space then your front yard

-you've made at least one trip to a mobile suit hanger to "pass the time"

-you're idea of a good day is watching your neighbors get accused of espionage.

-you are too busy reading up on the latest mobile suit frames to make out with your wife or girlfriend

-You're front yard is deep space.

-You can see mobile suits fly over your house in the middle of the night.

-you don't watch sports, you watch massive space battles on television.

-you have a deeply disturbing and possibly unhealthy fascination with war

-you have a deeply disturbing and possible unhealthy fascination with the paranormal.

-you advocate the use of WMD's as a response to school bullying

-You don't just look forward to public executions, you look forward to them and even have the date marked on the calender.

-You know the names of the most up to date mobile suit technical systems, the top pilots of the zeon space flotilla, and the names of the most recent battles, but not the names of the new neighbors.

-Finally, you see paranormal activity as a "good way to bring the family together"

You know you're from Gunner Graves if you have the bullet scars to show for it.