Rule of Penguins

[Greater Penguin]

We, the greater penguins have decided to take over the world and decided to hold a study on what are the world's current attitude to penguins.

Answer the following,

Do you have penguins in your lands?

May we bring mind control devices and launch a full scale invasion religious objects and bring a religious mission to your nation?

How open are you to serve Great Pengu for all eternity and recognize him as the one True God?

[Oceanic Vakiadia]

Do you have penguins in your lands?: Not after a couple massive wars, no.

May we bring mind control devices and launch a full scale invasion religious objects and bring a religious mission to your nation?: Not unless you don't want it to exist anymore.

How open are you to serve Great Pengu for all eternity and recognize him as the one True God?: We're willing to remove his shroud of false divinity and eradicate his brainwashed (even for penguins) followers.

[Senihai]

...
Hmmmmm.... You may have t-r-o llet me think about that.

But we do have penguins on the Southern coasts of Eikasia.

[H-Alba]

Do you have penguins in your lands?
In the zoos, yes.

May we bring mind control devices and launch a full scale invasion religious objects and bring a religious mission to your nation?
You can, but our people do not like religious missions, they feel it violates their native religion as well as it violates the persons right to choose their own religion (instead they are taught about one, and do not learn of others)

How open are you to serve Great Pengu for all eternity and recognize him as the one True God?
I wouldn't, as he isn't.

[Senihai]

Do you have penguins in your lands?
As above, in the wild, south. In zoos as well of course.

May we bring mind control devices and launch a full scale invasion religious objects and bring a religious mission to your nation?
You may open up missionary churches but you may not distribute objects outside of these churches.

How open are you to serve Great Pengu for all eternity and recognize him as the one True God?
Errrr. no.

[Morlago]

Do you have penguins in your lands?: 10 at the National Zoo and more at other zoos

May we bring mind control devices and launch a full scale invasion religious objects and bring a religious mission to your nation?: Yes, you may, but it will not be popular as the majority of the population are atheists. Of those who are religious over half are Christians and Muslims.

How open are you to serve Great Pengu for all eternity and recognize him as the one True God?: We will make him shed blood to disprove his divinity and allow the penguins to be free again.

[Drackonisa]

Do you have penguins in your lands?
Yes, they make good meals.

May we bring mind control devices and launch a full scale invasion religious objects and bring a religious mission to your nation?
No, it is obvious your vile race is attempting to launch some insidious plot in the guise of a religious mission. besides, religion is highly regulated in Drackonisa.

How open are you to serve Great Pengu for all eternity and recognize him as the one True God?
Never! Your Great Pengu shall burn! Drackonisa is atheist to the bitter end! You shall a-- All hail Pengu...

[Urmanian]

Do you have penguins in your lands?
No.

May we bring mind control devices and launch a full scale invasion religious objects and bring a religious mission to your nation?

No.

How open are you to serve Great Pengu for all eternity and recognize him as the one True God?

[The Planet Carpathia]

Do you have penguins in your lands?
They're dead Dave. They're all dead Dave.

May we bring religious objects and bring a religious mission to your nation?
Er, no. We don't really do religion.

How open are you to serve Great Pengu for all eternity and recognize him as the one True God?
Are you still here? Go away!

[South East Europe]

Do you have penguins in your lands? We have a tropical species of Sapient Penguins living in Linistea

May we bring mind control devices and launch a full scale invasion religious objects and bring a religious mission to your nation? No

How open are you to serve Great Pengu for all eternity and recognize him as the one True God? Not at all

[YellowApple]

Do you have penguins in your lands? Small numbers of non-sapient penguins as pets, even smaller numbers of sapient penguins as residents.

May we bring mind control devices and launch a full scale invasion? Although we will not exactly stop you from trying, we imagine that penguin tastes at least somewhat like chicken, sapient or not, and will happily feast upon the abundance of poultry in your nation after utterly destroying your invasion force.

May we bring religious objects and bring a religious mission to your nation? Sure, if registered as a non-profit organization, and as long as no laws are broken in the name of whatever religion you intend to preach.

How open are you to serve Great Pengu for all eternity and recognize him as the one True God? Won't happen. The YellowApplan government enforces religious equality in official matters, and is restricted from aligning itself with specific religions.

[The All Powerful Octopus]

Do you have penguins in your lands?
Yes. They are used as host bodies for younger Octopus Symbionts, to help train them for controlling human host bodies.

May we bring mind control devices and launch a full scale invasion religious objects and bring a religious mission to your nation?
No.

How open are you to serve Great Pengu for all eternity and recognize him as the one True God?
Great Overlord Xaria is the only god.

[Maryginia]

Do you have penguins in your lands? in zoos yes

May we bring mind control devices and launch a full scale invasion religious objects and bring a religious mission to your nation? sure no problem

How open are you to serve Great Pengu for all eternity and recognize him as the one True God? very

[Old Beringia]

Do you have penguins in your lands?
No. Penguins most likely could not survive in Beringia.

May we bring mind control devices and launch a full scale invasion religious objects and bring a religious mission to your nation?
Sentient penguins should not exist, therefor, they will be shot. But overlooking that mind control devices would not be permitted and foreign religion is not permitted either.

How open are you to serve Great Pengu for all eternity and recognize him as the one True God?
No. The Empress would capture this animal and consume his flesh on government sponsored television.

[TurtleShroom]

Hello and welcome to TurtleShroom! Great Pengu missionaries, please refer to our taxation forms to file for tax exemption for your temples and clergymen.


Do you have penguins in your lands? - No. Plus, with our biomes being tropical rainforests, swamps, and deserts... it's way too hot to see any. We haven't had snow in over three hundred years. We were FOUNDED in the 1790s, so that's saying something! Penguins could NOT survive in TurtleShroom.

May we bring religious objects and bring a religious mission to your nation? - Is your faith a parody religion, Satanic, part of Discordianism, part of Scientology, or does it practice witchcraft? ...............what's that? It doesn't?
EXCELLENT! The Holy Republic will be honored for your people to worship here, but remember that we're a Christian nation, so get used to crosses everywhere. As a legit faith, you will not be taxed in any way, and your equivalent to ordained clergy are also completely tax exempt. Remember to obey the laws of the nation, and by the way, you can't use any drugs or alcohol as part of your doctrines.

How open are you to serve Great Pengu for all eternity and recognize him as the one True God? - TurtleShroom is a Christian nation and the official state religion recognizes Jesus Christ of Nazareth as the Son of the One True God (and a part of Him in accordance with the Trinity). However, you can try and win over individual citizens if your faith believes in that. Maybe you'll get yourself some believers. There's a sizable Atheist popualtion in TurtleShroom, and many of them are also Agnostic, and opento hearing you. See if you can snag their souls... -but beware, because evangelical Christians will compete strongly to save them to their God! The odds are stacked for the Christians: the Southern Baptist denomination actually receives funds from the government. They then give surplus to OTHER Christian denominations, so Christianity is very strong. You Pengus will be hard-pressed!

[Legokiller]

Do you have penguins in your lands?
Yes as for wild penguins in our shores and in zoos. Penguins are also a popular pet
May we bring mind control devices and launch a full scale invasionreligious objects and bring a religious mission to your nation?
Umm, thats a No
How open are you to serve Great Pengu for all eternity and recognize him as the one True God?
Never, This religion is false, mind controling device by masterminded penguins and only insane hippies will join this heresy.

[Eladvisio]

Do you have penguins in your lands? They're dead Jim. All of them. We didn't need them anyway.

May we bring mind control devices and launch a full scale invasion religious objects and bring a religious mission to your nation? Penguins are banned from Eladvisio, as well as your "religion".

How open are you to serve Great Pengu for all eternity and recognize him as the one True God? Of course not! For one, you can't come here. For another, most Eladvisians practice Pastafarianism and Compassianism (new form of Christianity), and you wouldn't stand a chance. The citizenry laugh at your "religion". All hail the FSM and Pastafarianism!

[Conoga]

Do you have penguins in your lands? No.

May we bring mind control devices and launch a full scale invasion religious objects and bring a religious mission to your nation? No.

How open are you to serve Great Pengu for all eternity and recognize him as the one True God? No.

[Ruskarkand]

Do you have penguins in your lands?
We do, they are in sealed packets in supermarkets, ready to be bought by any willing Dragonkinian who wants something exotic to eat that night.

May we bring mind control devices and launch a full scale invasion religious objects and bring a religious mission to your nation?
No, we have had enough of religion in this land, who worship their certain Religious Object.

How open are you to serve Great Pengu for all eternity and recognize him as the one True God?
Uh, that's going to have to be a no.

[1337 G4M3R5]

Do you have penguins in your lands?

Not to the knowledge of our government, with the possible exception of zoos.

May we bring mind control devices and launch a full scale invasion religious objects and bring a religious mission to your nation?

You may certainly try, though I warn you that the McDeath Cult is rather deeply entrenched and tends to react violently to heathen blashpemy

...ahem...


We welcome all faiths, our borders are open to the penguin masses.

How open are you to serve Great Pengu for all eternity and recognize him as the one True God?

Does he taste good with bar-be-cue sauce?

That sounds like a truly glorious idea.


On an additional note, we have dispatched several...cruise ships...to your nation. Free cruises for all pengiuns!



*is preparing the bbq sauce now*

[New Zealand Empire (Ancient)]

Do you have penguins in your lands?
Yes, there are several species found in the New Zealand Empire including the Yellow-Eyed Penguin and the Little Blue Penguin. They mostly live in zoos or in the southern regions of the New Zealand Empire.

May we bring mind control devices and launch a full scale invasion religious objects and bring a religious mission to your nation?
Firstly there is no such technology available yet for practical mind control so we do not worry about this. We would let you peacefully allow you to spread your religious views but forcing it on the people of this nation or violating the sovereignty of the New Zealand crown will end with your nation regretting it.

How open are you to serve Great Pengu for all eternity and recognize him as the one True God?
The New Zealand Empire embraces a multi-cultural society, there is no way our secular government can recognize any religious figure over others.

[Hossaim]

Do you have penguins in your lands?
no

May we bring mind control devices and launch a full scale invasion religious objects and bring a religious mission to your nation?
no.

How open are you to serve Great Pengu for all eternity and recognize him as the one True God?
not at all, and you will fail to conquere the world as there are some 80,00 nations here who are bigger than you and you will fight you. a total population of some 1 trillion vs a population of 16 million. not good for you.

[1337 G4M3R5]

Do you have penguins in your lands?
no

May we bring mind control devices and launch a full scale invasion religious objects and bring a religious mission to your nation?
no.

How open are you to serve Great Pengu for all eternity and recognize him as the one True God?
not at all, and you will fail to conquere the world as there are some 80,00 nations here who are bigger than you and you will fight you. a total population of some 1 trillion vs a population of 16 million. not good for you.

Good representative of Hossaim, why would we want to resist him?


Can you not see how the world could benefit from serving the Great Pengu?


*drool*

[-Antarctica-]

Well well, a fellow nation of penguins. We will not be answering any of your questions but I do assure you one thing, if any attempt is made at violating the sovreignty of the United States of Antarctica your penguins will be slaughtered by our automatic weapons and tanks.

[The New Holy Covenant]

One word
Glassing