The Nodsliwian News Board

[Nodsliw]

This is the official, government-funded, news broadcasting system that will report top stories through the United Nation of Nodsliw.

Please do not reply.

[Nodsliw]

Prime Minister Announced

It has been officially announced from the Woldian Palace, home of our beloved Royal Family, that John Pressman is our first and newest Prime Minister. With the acclaimed Tyler Nodsliw II becoming our newest Monarch since his father, King Tyler Nodsliw I. The Prime Minister swore oath from within the Palace and then was driven to Harding Street, where he performed his first speech as Prime Minister.

Prime Minister John Pressman

"Hello ladies and gentlemen, I thank you for joining me here at my new home... and my new office. We say goodbye to President Balonovo and we bid farewell to her Cabinet. Unfortunately the last administration was unable to appropriately deal with the harsh situations that the nation found itself in, but I can promise you that this administration can... and will! During the last administration, we saw multiple terrorist attacks and a dangerous riot just outside our doorsteps, because your elected President could not handle the country properly. I tell the terrorists this; "get out of my country" and I tell the rioters this; "stop acting like the terrorists, and prepare for the law to catch up with you." I have appointed the finest Ministers that I know, and with their help, this country will be restored back to it's great self. May God bless Nodsliw, and may God bless you."

[Nodsliw]

Numerous Raids Authorized

In his first day as the Prime Minister, John Pressman signed several documents that allowed the Nodsliwian Police Department to raid numerous houses of those who were involved in the capital riots. The riots lasted several weeks, and only now has the police been allowed to arrest those involved. The Justice Minister Phillip Smith suggested that the raids take place in the very early hours of the morning, for the best surprise conditions, and his suggestion was good advice. We were told that many of the suspects were still in bed, and by the time the police were in their rooms, they had only just woke up. The Minister and Prime Minister have sworn that these criminals, if found guilty, will serve at least six years in maximum prison.

[Nodsliw]

Parliament Announced

Today the Prime Minister visited the Houses of Parliament, in which he met the first Members of Parliament of this government, many of whom included ex-Congresspeople. He was "pleased" to meet these "intelligent patriots" and knows that they will serve great terms in Parliament. Where the Prime Minister and the Cabinet get four years in office, Parliament get five, making them quite important people in today's government.

[Nodsliw]

Leader of ADN Captured

The leader of the feared "Always Defending Nodsliw" terrorist group, Abdul Kanalowi, was found and arrested today, whilst many opposing politicians were saying that the government were not doing enough to protect Nodsliw. The infamous terrorist was arrested in his Nodsliwian home, off the mainland, on the small island of Pendanski.

A team of skilled operatives from the military, intelligence community and police force were dispatched by the Defence and Justice Ministry to find and capture or kill Abdul Kanalowi. The raid occurred in the early hours of this morning, in a large mansion owned by the feared terrorist. The operatives killed many low-ranked members of the "Always Defending Nodsliw" terrorist organisation, who were guarding the compound, and then moved on to arrest the main leader.

Prime Minister John Pressman announced this arrest at eight o' clock in the morning, a wide smile on his face.

[Nodsliw]

Mailean Declares Independence

The Minister of Mailean, George Stanley, has today announced that he has notified the Prime Minister of Nodsliw that Mailean will become a separate country, and no longer will have any ties with Nodsliw until negotiations take place.

This comes after weeks of negotiations between the Maileanian government, and the mainland of Nodsliw. All of these talks have received little to no media coverage, due to the fact that Mailean have twice before considered independence but decided not to on both occasions.

The island is located south of Nodsliw, and has been under Nodsliwian control since the fourteenth century, when Queen Mary of Salee invaded with an army of five hundred soldiers. The island has not been on the official map of Nodsliw for many years, due to the constant disagreements between the island's government and the national government, but it is the number one holiday resort for all Nodsliwians.

The Minister of Mailean released this statement from outside the Mailean embassy, in Nodsliw City:

"Hello. It has been decided by the Mailean government that we will declare our independence from The United Kingdom of Nodsliw; and by international and national law, they must accept our request. Our island and our people have always protected Nodsliw from incoming threats since the days of King Julius Mallageg, and if the negotiations are successful, we will continue to do so. Once the Prime Minister accepts our request for independence, the people of Mailean will decided whether to move to Nodsliw or stay and become fully pledged members of Mailean. After this, an election will be held, which will be managed by myself - as I am the leading diplomat - and a new leader will be decided. Thank you."

[Nodsliw]

Pressman Accepts Mailean Independence

Prime Minister John Pressman has agreed to, and signed for, the independence of Mailean. He did this just hours after their request, causing much public disgruntlement.

More follows.