The Flaming Wombat

[Esternial]

But you did stab me in the back.

Literally.

Knock it off before I shoot ya both with my P90s.

P90's are Belgian.
I am Belgian.

I am a P90, what up?

[South Asia Minor]

Wanna get married?

Oh my god...

Yes!

...
WHY CAN'T MY LIFE BE THAT EASYQUESTIONMARK

[Dog Bole]

*sighs*

Do I have to show you what happened last time I was shot in the head?

Whoever said I was goin' for a headshot?

Still, it applies:

A week passed when we were in Oklahoma City. We tracked Five and found out that she liked to frequent a sport’s bar, at which her target also regularly attended. Her target was a mutant, this one had the ability adjust the thickness and structure of his skin. I found that to be an invaluable asset, especially on the night we nabbed Five. Five had swords, yes, but didn’t use them. Instead, she had twin Glock 18s. Those little bastards made it damn near impossible to get close to her. It resulted in us being pinned down on one side of the bar, her and her friends on the other. Rover adjusted is new weapon, an automatic 10/22 with an MG-42 type body. He used that, with its MG-42 rate of fire, to keep her head down as I moved in to get a good shot with the Mossberg 12 gauge I had.
`“Shit,” I said as a flurry of bullets whizzed over my head. I dropped to the ground, and fired a round into the table they were using as cover. I think I heard somebody scream, but hell, that could have been me.
I know I did scream when I got shot in…uh…a valuable…place. I also swore in a ridiculously high voice. When it grew back, I managed to get behind the tables (pool tables, the fiends) they had been using as cover. I hit the first goon… (Ha, goon, that’s a funny word). Shut up, you, I am trying to narrate this thing. (So, like I care). Hey, shut up and go back to the inside of my head. (Make me). I will stuff you down a toilet that Michael Moore just used if you don’t shut the fuck up. (Okay, I’ll can it.)
When did I start arguing with my head? I’m not sure, but definitely in the last few minutes.
Anyways, I shot the first henchman in the belly, and then butted him in the head with the stock of my shotgun. (It’s called a “rifle butt”). No it’s not. I used a shotgun, not a rifle. (Whatever).
I am really beginning to hate that voice in my head.
I then realized that the henchman’s head was so hard that it cracked the stock, so I threw the rifle into a different henchman. I then drew my twin katanas and began twirling them at high speed. I managed to block the rain of incoming bullets from my enemies. They seriously must not have liked me. (Shooting your balls off did make you think that)? No, but it strongly hinted to it. (You are as dumber than they say). Who says? Wait, never mind, story to tell.
After I thoroughly flayed the nearest henchman, I turned to Five. How to describe Agent Five to you? She wore a dark blue bodysuit, and she had a cape. (Ha-ha, they didn’t give you a cape). I twirled with my katanas and ruined her pistols. She then drew her own swords (Chinese straight swords, if you are making notes). While we were dueling, the cape kept getting in the way of my swords. It got annoying real quick. I used my swords to gain and opening, and then noticed one on her chest. I went for the stab at the same time she jumped and spun at me. I caught her sword in my side, and she caught mine on her thigh. Completely uneven trade. (You have a healing factor, though). So? It still hurt. (Cry baby).
Anyways, we both went down, and drew back-up pistols. She had hers pointed at my face, I had mine on her face.
“You wouldn’t,” she said.
“You bet your tight ass I would,” I said as I pulled the trigger.
Evidently, she pulled the trigger at the same time I did, because something decided to bite me in the face. (It’s called getting shot). Do you ever shut up? (No).

[South Asia Minor]

Whoever said I was goin' for a headshot?

Still, it applies:

A week passed when we were in Oklahoma City. We tracked Five and found out that she liked to frequent a sport’s bar, at which her target also regularly attended. Her target was a mutant, this one had the ability adjust the thickness and structure of his skin. I found that to be an invaluable asset, especially on the night we nabbed Five. Five had swords, yes, but didn’t use them. Instead, she had twin Glock 18s. Those little bastards made it damn near impossible to get close to her. It resulted in us being pinned down on one side of the bar, her and her friends on the other. Rover adjusted is new weapon, an automatic 10/22 with an MG-42 type body. He used that, with its MG-42 rate of fire, to keep her head down as I moved in to get a good shot with the Mossberg 12 gauge I had.
`“Shit,” I said as a flurry of bullets whizzed over my head. I dropped to the ground, and fired a round into the table they were using as cover. I think I heard somebody scream, but hell, that could have been me.
I know I did scream when I got shot in…uh…a valuable…place. I also swore in a ridiculously high voice. When it grew back, I managed to get behind the tables (pool tables, the fiends) they had been using as cover. I hit the first goon… (Ha, goon, that’s a funny word). Shut up, you, I am trying to narrate this thing. (So, like I care). Hey, shut up and go back to the inside of my head. (Make me). I will stuff you down a toilet that Michael Moore just used if you don’t shut the fuck up. (Okay, I’ll can it.)
When did I start arguing with my head? I’m not sure, but definitely in the last few minutes.
Anyways, I shot the first henchman in the belly, and then butted him in the head with the stock of my shotgun. (It’s called a “rifle butt”). No it’s not. I used a shotgun, not a rifle. (Whatever).
I am really beginning to hate that voice in my head.
I then realized that the henchman’s head was so hard that it cracked the stock, so I threw the rifle into a different henchman. I then drew my twin katanas and began twirling them at high speed. I managed to block the rain of incoming bullets from my enemies. They seriously must not have liked me. (Shooting your balls off did make you think that)? No, but it strongly hinted to it. (You are as dumber than they say). Who says? Wait, never mind, story to tell.
After I thoroughly flayed the nearest henchman, I turned to Five. How to describe Agent Five to you? She wore a dark blue bodysuit, and she had a cape. (Ha-ha, they didn’t give you a cape). I twirled with my katanas and ruined her pistols. She then drew her own swords (Chinese straight swords, if you are making notes). While we were dueling, the cape kept getting in the way of my swords. It got annoying real quick. I used my swords to gain and opening, and then noticed one on her chest. I went for the stab at the same time she jumped and spun at me. I caught her sword in my side, and she caught mine on her thigh. Completely uneven trade. (You have a healing factor, though). So? It still hurt. (Cry baby).
Anyways, we both went down, and drew back-up pistols. She had hers pointed at my face, I had mine on her face.
“You wouldn’t,” she said.
“You bet your tight ass I would,” I said as I pulled the trigger.
Evidently, she pulled the trigger at the same time I did, because something decided to bite me in the face. (It’s called getting shot). Do you ever shut up? (No).

tl;dr

[North Wiedna]

Still, it applies:

A week passed when we were in Oklahoma City. We tracked Five and found out that she liked to frequent a sport’s bar, at which her target also regularly attended. Her target was a mutant, this one had the ability adjust the thickness and structure of his skin. I found that to be an invaluable asset, especially on the night we nabbed Five. Five had swords, yes, but didn’t use them. Instead, she had twin Glock 18s. Those little bastards made it damn near impossible to get close to her. It resulted in us being pinned down on one side of the bar, her and her friends on the other. Rover adjusted is new weapon, an automatic 10/22 with an MG-42 type body. He used that, with its MG-42 rate of fire, to keep her head down as I moved in to get a good shot with the Mossberg 12 gauge I had.
`“Shit,” I said as a flurry of bullets whizzed over my head. I dropped to the ground, and fired a round into the table they were using as cover. I think I heard somebody scream, but hell, that could have been me.
I know I did scream when I got shot in…uh…a valuable…place. I also swore in a ridiculously high voice. When it grew back, I managed to get behind the tables (pool tables, the fiends) they had been using as cover. I hit the first goon… (Ha, goon, that’s a funny word). Shut up, you, I am trying to narrate this thing. (So, like I care). Hey, shut up and go back to the inside of my head. (Make me). I will stuff you down a toilet that Michael Moore just used if you don’t shut the fuck up. (Okay, I’ll can it.)
When did I start arguing with my head? I’m not sure, but definitely in the last few minutes.
Anyways, I shot the first henchman in the belly, and then butted him in the head with the stock of my shotgun. (It’s called a “rifle butt”). No it’s not. I used a shotgun, not a rifle. (Whatever).
I am really beginning to hate that voice in my head.
I then realized that the henchman’s head was so hard that it cracked the stock, so I threw the rifle into a different henchman. I then drew my twin katanas and began twirling them at high speed. I managed to block the rain of incoming bullets from my enemies. They seriously must not have liked me. (Shooting your balls off did make you think that)? No, but it strongly hinted to it. (You are as dumber than they say). Who says? Wait, never mind, story to tell.
After I thoroughly flayed the nearest henchman, I turned to Five. How to describe Agent Five to you? She wore a dark blue bodysuit, and she had a cape. (Ha-ha, they didn’t give you a cape). I twirled with my katanas and ruined her pistols. She then drew her own swords (Chinese straight swords, if you are making notes). While we were dueling, the cape kept getting in the way of my swords. It got annoying real quick. I used my swords to gain and opening, and then noticed one on her chest. I went for the stab at the same time she jumped and spun at me. I caught her sword in my side, and she caught mine on her thigh. Completely uneven trade. (You have a healing factor, though). So? It still hurt. (Cry baby).
Anyways, we both went down, and drew back-up pistols. She had hers pointed at my face, I had mine on her face.
“You wouldn’t,” she said.
“You bet your tight ass I would,” I said as I pulled the trigger.
Evidently, she pulled the trigger at the same time I did, because something decided to bite me in the face. (It’s called getting shot). Do you ever shut up? (No).

tl;dr

Thanks for the warning.

[Frenca]

Hello.

[Dog Bole]

Wanna get married?

Oh my god...

Yes!

*places bet on three hours*

[North Wiedna]

Hello.

.olleH

[Frenca]

Hello.

.olleH

?uoy era woH

[Eliasonia]

.olleH

?uoy era woH

No hablo gibberisheo.

[Izandai]

Wanna get married?

Oh my god...

Yes!

...Well that was unexpected.

[Dog Bole]

Oh my god...

Yes!

...Well that was unexpected.

Not really.

[Izandai]

What's wrong?

Nothing.

I doubt that.

[Esternial]

Oh my god...

Yes!

*places bet on three hours*

I'm sorry it didn't work out, but you don't have to be so bitter about it...

[St George of England]

Oh my god...

Yes!

*places bet on three hours*

[Dog Bole]

*places bet on three hours*

I'm sorry it didn't work out, but you don't have to be so bitter about it...

I'm not bitter about it one bit. As with Aure, I am happier without her, and better off.

I am merely stating that she has had almost as many husbands as I have had wives. Not good odds for you, comrade.

[Planeta de los Muertos]

Knock it off before I shoot ya both with my P90s.

P90's are Belgian.
I am Belgian.

I am a P90, what up?

Oh my god...

Yes!

Lucky bastard.

Still, it applies:

A week passed when we were in Oklahoma City. We tracked Five and found out that she liked to frequent a sport’s bar, at which her target also regularly attended. Her target was a mutant, this one had the ability adjust the thickness and structure of his skin. I found that to be an invaluable asset, especially on the night we nabbed Five. Five had swords, yes, but didn’t use them. Instead, she had twin Glock 18s. Those little bastards made it damn near impossible to get close to her. It resulted in us being pinned down on one side of the bar, her and her friends on the other. Rover adjusted is new weapon, an automatic 10/22 with an MG-42 type body. He used that, with its MG-42 rate of fire, to keep her head down as I moved in to get a good shot with the Mossberg 12 gauge I had.
`“Shit,” I said as a flurry of bullets whizzed over my head. I dropped to the ground, and fired a round into the table they were using as cover. I think I heard somebody scream, but hell, that could have been me.
I know I did scream when I got shot in…uh…a valuable…place. I also swore in a ridiculously high voice. When it grew back, I managed to get behind the tables (pool tables, the fiends) they had been using as cover. I hit the first goon… (Ha, goon, that’s a funny word). Shut up, you, I am trying to narrate this thing. (So, like I care). Hey, shut up and go back to the inside of my head. (Make me). I will stuff you down a toilet that Michael Moore just used if you don’t shut the fuck up. (Okay, I’ll can it.)
When did I start arguing with my head? I’m not sure, but definitely in the last few minutes.
Anyways, I shot the first henchman in the belly, and then butted him in the head with the stock of my shotgun. (It’s called a “rifle butt”). No it’s not. I used a shotgun, not a rifle. (Whatever).
I am really beginning to hate that voice in my head.
I then realized that the henchman’s head was so hard that it cracked the stock, so I threw the rifle into a different henchman. I then drew my twin katanas and began twirling them at high speed. I managed to block the rain of incoming bullets from my enemies. They seriously must not have liked me. (Shooting your balls off did make you think that)? No, but it strongly hinted to it. (You are as dumber than they say). Who says? Wait, never mind, story to tell.
After I thoroughly flayed the nearest henchman, I turned to Five. How to describe Agent Five to you? She wore a dark blue bodysuit, and she had a cape. (Ha-ha, they didn’t give you a cape). I twirled with my katanas and ruined her pistols. She then drew her own swords (Chinese straight swords, if you are making notes). While we were dueling, the cape kept getting in the way of my swords. It got annoying real quick. I used my swords to gain and opening, and then noticed one on her chest. I went for the stab at the same time she jumped and spun at me. I caught her sword in my side, and she caught mine on her thigh. Completely uneven trade. (You have a healing factor, though). So? It still hurt. (Cry baby).
Anyways, we both went down, and drew back-up pistols. She had hers pointed at my face, I had mine on her face.
“You wouldn’t,” she said.
“You bet your tight ass I would,” I said as I pulled the trigger.
Evidently, she pulled the trigger at the same time I did, because something decided to bite me in the face. (It’s called getting shot). Do you ever shut up? (No).

...Well that was unexpected.

Dammit, I was gonna shoot your nads, OK?! You ruined the setup. (He has a healing factor, asswipe.) I'm gettin' sick of you!

*Pulls trigger to own temple.*

[Dog Bole]

*places bet on three hours*

See, I got George laughing about it.

[Esternial]

See, I got George laughing about it.

That's a nice argument, yet it won't stand in court.

[Dog Bole]

Dammit, I was gonna shoot your nads, OK?! You ruined the setup. (He has a healing factor, asswipe.) I'm gettin' sick of you!

*Pulls trigger to own temple.*

*laughs*

(It won't work, you know.) I am getting sick of Bluey here...

[Izandai]

P90's are Belgian.
I am Belgian.

I am a P90, what up?

Lucky bastard.

...Well that was unexpected.

Dammit, I was gonna shoot your nads, OK?! You ruined the setup. (He has a healing factor, asswipe.) I'm gettin' sick of you!

*Pulls trigger to own temple.*

Wow. You totally screwed up the quoting.

[St George of England]

See, I got George laughing about it.

I gather u like superpowers, yesh?

[Esternial]

See, I got George laughing about it.

I gather u like superpowers, yesh?

ADSPAM ALERT!

Commence purging!

[Dog Bole]

See, I got George laughing about it.

That's a nice argument, yet it won't stand in court.

How about instead of babbling you actually grow a pair and stand up for your new woman.

[Happeh Pillzzz]

No.

Yes.

No.