The moon has been destroyed.

[Garimidia]

i was IGNORing the moon blowup, but had to comment on the jokes being made

The comment about the thread burning a hole in your cable wasn't about the jokes though...

[Parthenon]

Really appreciate the effort Slav. Don't worry about pruning the thread, hopefully seeing your response in conjunction with some of the posts it is referring to will do a lot to teach the inexperienced players in II a bit about how petty their reactions to threads that don't conform to the norm actually are. I confess that a lot of this could have knowingly been avoided on my part had I of posted in NS rather than II given the difference in maturity of the user base, however, I honestly wanted see if the younger audience could relate decently enough to a humorous rp rather than the run of the mill nonsensical war thread that pops up every other minute in here.

[Euroslavia]

i was IGNORing the moon blowup, but had to comment on the jokes being made

So posting about 5 times saying "THIS IS SO AWFUL LOL *insert 5 smilies* is contributing to the thread? No.

Hobbes City has recreated all of the air for NSworld!

if anyone says that is a godmod, then blowing up the moon is one too!

This post is a response to the initial post, so yes, you did continue to respond to something that you had previously ignored.

[Nukeobis]

[Super fluffy]

The Dicatorship of Super Fluffy's leader,

Nicholai 'Fluffy' Deabilo

would fomrally like to thank you for making everyone freeze to death over night sense the sun reflects heat off the moon while we're sleeping..epic..

[Profound Darkness]

It is clear to us now that our presence and influence in the universe is already being felt. So, you've destroyed your planet's moon. We would like to have a look at your fusion device....in exchange, our Godking, Dark Force, has given us authorisation to allow you a glimpse into the awesome destructive power of the Black Energy Wave.

[Parthenon]

It is clear to us now that our presence and influence in the universe is already being felt. So, you've destroyed your planet's moon. We would like to have a look at your fusion device....in exchange, our Godking, Dark Force, has given us authorisation to allow you a glimpse into the awesome destructive power of the Black Energy Wave.

We were discussing your proposal at the local Sapphire Tuesday's restaurant when our waitress blurted out "That's racist!" upon hearing the mention of a black energy wave having destructive power. In fear of having my medium steak served to me medium well I assured the waitress that we would turn down the proposal. Tell Dark Force we at the confederation are very sorry for not being able to go through with the arrangement and that we left her a very small tip to make this up to him. That will show her whose boss!

[Kagetora]

The Awesome Land of The Extremely Cool and Hansom Fred greets this announcement with extreme glee, for now no longer will the alien space lizards be able to beam their spacerays into his head. Supreme High Chancellor of Awesome Fred has dispatched Grand General Alfred Alexander Abelson Engelbert Von Humberson III to thank the leaders of Parthenon, however, as Mr. Von Humberson is a cat, this will probably not be as successful as he hopes at improving relations. He does, however, bear a gift of a dead bird.
Chancellor Fred has announced that he will begin a program of construction in order to ready his nation to take the war to the space lizards. A fleet of 500,000,000 Ubar class doomkroozars will be constructed at the shipyards of his mothers backyard. He has also conscripted his entire population of 200 plastic army men for this endeavor and has asked their wives (the dolls of the girl next door, Supreme Secretary Susan, currently on trial on suspicion of having cooties) to be prepared in case they do not come back.

OMG. EPIC POST. I'm putting that in my sig.

(edit) Damn. It's too long.

[Balrogga]

OOC:


You just have to love these parodies. I will make a little FT contribution to it.




IC:


Nearby, one of the Ta’Nar ships was watching. They were here just to scan the Earth they had left so long ago to see if anyone had bothered to destroy the place yet. With the threat of nuclear war happening almost every day, it was decided to leave the suicidal inhabitants behind and strike off for the stars. It was only curiosity that caused the Fallen Empire to send a recon ship to check to see if they all had off’ed themselves yet.

The latest report only showed they were continuing along the predicted and foreseen path. They had obliterated their own moon. The detrimental effects should take out a number of the smaller cannon fodder nations effortlessly and the lasting effects of atmospheric poisoning from the green cheese would eventually finish the remainder. The trouble was to distract them so they did not try to clean up the mess of Cheese Impacts so the green foul stuff could fester in the hot sun until it poisoned the place. Not even the mighty air fresheners would remove the deadly gas, only make it smell prettier.

Nhur-Galladu thought long and hard, about twelve minutes in total before he was struck with an idea. He quickly contacted a couple of his ESUS contacts and made an order to be delivered to the orbit of Earth.

Later, a single huge cargo hauler dropped out of a worm hole. The thing was truly immense and everyone would be able to see it in the night sky. Massive doors slowly opened and a single object was allowed to drift out using heavy industrial tractor beams. After delivering it’s payload, the cargo ship pulled away from the object and closed the doors before returning through another artificial wormhole.

Left floating in the same orbit was a giant muffin the size of a moon.

A chocolate chip muffin.

With frosting.

And Sprinkles.


Written across the white frosting was the message “Congratulations”.

[Bluth Corporation]

Company President Michael Bluth ran into Starting Quarterback Peyton Manning #18's office, wildly waving a sheet of...something...in his hand. "Sir, Sir, the Parthenonians have just destroyed the moon!"

Manning sat for a second, thought, and then replied: "That would certainly explain the rock that just broke my window."

"I thought that was supposed to be bulletproof glass..." said a confused Bluth. This was news to Manning's secretary Tobias Funke, who had followed Bluth into the room. "Bulletproof?" he inquired, "I thought that was a Homefill."

"No, it's bulletproof, real glass, but...ok, ok, Bluth, what does this mean for us?" asked Manning, realizing it was time to get to the point.

"Well, some good stuff. A bit of property damage...shame about the glass...but some of the rock chunks, as you know yourself, were large enough to survive atmospheric entry, and as it happened a good bit of it appears to have landed in Bluth Corporation territory. There's always been talk that moon rocks might be economically useful, and so that might be a point...there's one more thing, too."

"What about the property damage?"

"Well that wasn't it, what I meant was--"

"We'll get to that next. What about the property damage?"

"Most insurance policies will cover it, I suppose. We just found out about it a few minutes ago, we haven't had time to look at it. Obviously, it's not our responsibility either way...maybe we can work out some sort of plan with the Parthenonians."

"No one hurt though?"

"No, not that we know of...nothing serious enough to make any reports, anyway. Anyway, what I was mentioning was: remember that moon base we were planning on building? We were worried about treaties and stuff, even though we hadn't signed them those that had would want to enforce them? Well, with the moon out of the way, and I realize this sounds wildly ludicrous, we might be able to build an artificial base, have it totally under our control, no treaty problems, nothing."

"Nice...look into it Bluth. Is there anything else?"

"Nope, that's it."

"Let me know if the miners and whatnot do anything...I guess I'll have Saturday try to work out some repayment plan with Parthenon. Tobias, put together a press release...say we believe this moon thing is going to be good for us, we applaud Parthenon for taking the initiative, say we're going to work with them to try to work out a plan for paying for the property damage but suggest everyone check their insurance policies to see if this is covered...were you in here for the moon base bit? Don't say a damn thing about that, got it?"

---

PRESS RELEASE
2046 19 APRIL YEAR 76
GOVERNMENT OF THE HUGE MISTAKE OF BLUTH CORPORATION
PEYTON MANNING #18, STARTING QUARTERBACK
DISTRIBUTION: UNLIMITED

Approximately two hours ago, the City-State of Parthenon destroyed the moon. For this magnificent feat of human achievement, the government of the Huge Mistake of Bluth Corporation applauds the Parthenonians.

We realize that there has been some property damage due to debris from the explosion that has reached our planet. While we will soon be sending some diplomats to try and work out a plan with Parthenon to have this damage paid for, in the meantime we suggest that everyone affected check any insurance policies they may have to see if this type of damage is covered; we suspect that in most cases it will be. It does not appear at the moment that anyone was injured by falling debris or its side-effects, and we hope that that remains the case.

Aside from the minor property damage, we believe that this will be a beneficial event for Bluth Corporation, and we once again think the Parthenonians for taking the initiative in this manner. It is widely believed that moon matter has a wide variety of economic uses, and we expect that there will be a very strong market available to anyone who may have found this moon debris. We hope to continue to work with Parthenon for our mutual benefit in this matter.

---

The property damage issue was almost a moot point, as it didn't take long for mining companies, museums, and other interested parties to realize the value of this fallen debris. Within twelve hours of the incident, all over the country mining concerns were announcing that they would pay for damage repair costs, plus a significant finder's fee, for anyone who had moon debris to sell.

OOC: Yes, rock debris from the moon would probably take more than an hour to reach the Earth, and be so spread out...but I don't care. It's more fun this way.

[Palmouth]

Dear Parthenon,

Destoring the moon was not the best idea, it was the worst. Luckily it did not end the world, but how could you do such thing. We therefore annouce that we will not recognize your country until further notice.

Yours unfaithfully,
Queen Mary I
Leader of Palmouth

[Derscon]

Greetings Velisomething long and unpronounceable!

Stock in the Confederation's extensive air freshener holdings is publicly traded on the Parthenese market at 141 penicas a share. If you wish to make a bulk purchase we are willing to issue additional shares at the reduced price of 120 each under the condition that you provide our chief scent creator, Lord Nose Abjork, with exciting new smells from your journeys through space. We have heard great things about the smell of a Tetrillium Icecreambeetle!

Dear Sir,

Space scents may be provided, should the Andropov family be able to purchase enough shares to buy approximately one quarter of your company.

Also, the Tetrillium Icecreambeetle is, in fact, cultivated in one of our colonies. They may be sold to you for a negotiated cost.

Sincerely,

Veliky Kynaz Tarakh Andropov

OOC: So what's the corporation? This is selective canonicy. I'm in ur rp buying ur companiez

You drive a hard bargain Mr. Veli long name!
We agree to the terms of 25% of the Parthenese air freshener conglomerate, Fabrese, transferring to the nation of Derscon at 120 penicas a share under the condition of extra-planetary scents being introduced to the earth market under the Fabrese name. Prior to any negotiations on the importation of Icecreambeetles beginning, Lord Nose would like a juvenile sample of the species for his own personal amusement and the right to brag about being the first person on Earth to own one. If this can be arranged we would be most delighted.

Dear Sir,

The juvenile sample of the Tetrillium Icecreambeetle is now on its way. Also, rather than deal with extemporaneous payments, we would prefer that the Parthenon payment for the first actual shipment of the Icecreambeetle simply be deducted from the cost of the shares of Fabrese.

Sincerely,

Veliky Kynaz Tarakh Andropov

[Derscon]

OOC: lol Bluth, of course the only thing an Austrian cares about is propert damage. XD

[Derscon]

OOC:


You just have to love these parodies. I will make a little FT contribution to it.




IC:


Nearby, one of the Ta’Nar ships was watching. They were here just to scan the Earth they had left so long ago to see if anyone had bothered to destroy the place yet. With the threat of nuclear war happening almost every day, it was decided to leave the suicidal inhabitants behind and strike off for the stars. It was only curiosity that caused the Fallen Empire to send a recon ship to check to see if they all had off’ed themselves yet.

The latest report only showed they were continuing along the predicted and foreseen path. They had obliterated their own moon. The detrimental effects should take out a number of the smaller cannon fodder nations effortlessly and the lasting effects of atmospheric poisoning from the green cheese would eventually finish the remainder. The trouble was to distract them so they did not try to clean up the mess of Cheese Impacts so the green foul stuff could fester in the hot sun until it poisoned the place. Not even the mighty air fresheners would remove the deadly gas, only make it smell prettier.

Nhur-Galladu thought long and hard, about twelve minutes in total before he was struck with an idea. He quickly contacted a couple of his ESUS contacts and made an order to be delivered to the orbit of Earth.

Later, a single huge cargo hauler dropped out of a worm hole. The thing was truly immense and everyone would be able to see it in the night sky. Massive doors slowly opened and a single object was allowed to drift out using heavy industrial tractor beams. After delivering it’s payload, the cargo ship pulled away from the object and closed the doors before returning through another artificial wormhole.

Left floating in the same orbit was a giant muffin the size of a moon.

A chocolate chip muffin.

With frosting.

And Sprinkles.


Written across the white frosting was the message “Congratulations”.

OOC: ...this needs to happen in real life.

[Bluth Corporation]

OOC: lol Bluth, of course the only thing an Austrian cares about is propert damage. XD

er, what?

[Derscon]

OOC: lol Bluth, of course the only thing an Austrian cares about is propert damage. XD

er, what?

OOC...

You. You are an Austrian economist, yes?
Your character seemed to care more about property damage than lives.

...

nevermind :/

[Daiwiz]

We wish to formaly sue the nation of Parthenon for blowign up our moon cannon. We expect 5 dollars.

[Kanuckistan]

David Black stifled a yawn, mug of caffeinated chicken soup in hand as the wolfen biped passed the portrait of his adopted hunam parents, stepping onto the back porch. The sight that greeted him did a far better job dispersing the muzziness of sleep than the mere cool morning air he had been expecting.

The shattered corpse of the moon was hours old now, low on the western horizon, flare of impacts visible against the Halifax Sector Continental Barrier Shield, if he recalled it's name correctly, while the glow of coming dawn tickled the far horizon, ignored for rarer sights.

"Huh," he mused, nonchalantly, neural lace querying Civil Defence - no threat, as expected. The lack of public warning when it happened said as much, but he believed in being through.

Several orbital and planetary defences flashed, then, reducing a particularly large chunk of lunar slag - to distant applause, his sharp ears told, scattered about the rural landscape - as he pulled up a few news feeds in his mind's eye.

"...officials have selected a suitable replacement planetoid. The new moon is larger, but despite this was chosen for it's identical mass to..."

"...requests anyone with an armed orbit-capable car or other vehicle to contact their local militia command..."

"...Parthenon, previously known only for their air freshener exports and rampant email scams..."

"...Secret Nazi Moon Base Condo Futures plummet on news that...

"...currently en route. The new moon's name hasn't been announced, but inside sources are suggesting 'Lunar Memorial Billboardball', which would seem to confirm earlier rumours of it's surface being covered with chromatophoric tarp prior to transport..."

"...militia coordinate with planetary defences to intercept and reduce damage to less fortunate nations, reiterating reassurances that the shields can take anything headed our..."

"...retraction. Nigerian email..."

"...been announced yet, but many entities are known to have holdings on or near the moon. Damage to orbital - to say nothing of terrestrial - infrastructure and personnel is still being calculated, but expected to be massive..."

"...Battleplate Sword of Inevitable Justice arriving in the next few minutes with the officially named 'Lunar Memorial Billboardball'. Advertising rates have yet to be announced, but experts are expecting an auction base-eh? Have word that the new moon has arrived, currently several million kilometers away. According to press and navigation releases, it is now ballistic and will enter orbit in the coming weeks, allowing time for..."

After some quick mental math, David shifted his gaze just in time to catch the light of the new moon's arrival - not quite a dot at this distance - idly licking a bit of broth from fuzzy lip as a ZipMail Alert paged his 'lace.

Work.

'What could the boss want at a time like this?' the lupine mused as he mentally skimmed the text. Seems some nation - Parthenon? Why did that sound familiar? - wanted to "get rid of the night", tossing around silly artificial sun ideas, and she wanted him to throw together an orbital mirror proposal "ASAP!"

Always in a rush, that one. Not necessarily a bad quality, given her responsibilities, but it would take a while to clear the crap out of the orbitals anyway, and noone sane would be putting civvie sats back up until then.

'Prolly some competition thing', he mused, ducking back in for a refill, looking forward to a morning of math, CAD, orbital mechanics, and spectacular fireworks.

[Techno-Soviet]

OOC:


You just have to love these parodies. I will make a little FT contribution to it.




IC:


Nearby, one of the Ta’Nar ships was watching. They were here just to scan the Earth they had left so long ago to see if anyone had bothered to destroy the place yet. With the threat of nuclear war happening almost every day, it was decided to leave the suicidal inhabitants behind and strike off for the stars. It was only curiosity that caused the Fallen Empire to send a recon ship to check to see if they all had off’ed themselves yet.

The latest report only showed they were continuing along the predicted and foreseen path. They had obliterated their own moon. The detrimental effects should take out a number of the smaller cannon fodder nations effortlessly and the lasting effects of atmospheric poisoning from the green cheese would eventually finish the remainder. The trouble was to distract them so they did not try to clean up the mess of Cheese Impacts so the green foul stuff could fester in the hot sun until it poisoned the place. Not even the mighty air fresheners would remove the deadly gas, only make it smell prettier.

Nhur-Galladu thought long and hard, about twelve minutes in total before he was struck with an idea. He quickly contacted a couple of his ESUS contacts and made an order to be delivered to the orbit of Earth.

Later, a single huge cargo hauler dropped out of a worm hole. The thing was truly immense and everyone would be able to see it in the night sky. Massive doors slowly opened and a single object was allowed to drift out using heavy industrial tractor beams. After delivering it’s payload, the cargo ship pulled away from the object and closed the doors before returning through another artificial wormhole.

Left floating in the same orbit was a giant muffin the size of a moon.

A chocolate chip muffin.

With frosting.

And Sprinkles.


Written across the white frosting was the message “Congratulations”.

((OOC: This deserves to be sigged. So badly.))

[Daiwiz]

OOC:


You just have to love these parodies. I will make a little FT contribution to it.




IC:


Nearby, one of the Ta’Nar ships was watching. They were here just to scan the Earth they had left so long ago to see if anyone had bothered to destroy the place yet. With the threat of nuclear war happening almost every day, it was decided to leave the suicidal inhabitants behind and strike off for the stars. It was only curiosity that caused the Fallen Empire to send a recon ship to check to see if they all had off’ed themselves yet...

OOC:We are so screwed....

[Balrogga]

((OOC: This deserves to be sigged. So badly.))

Go ahead, I would be honored if someone did, just be sure to give credit. If you hide it behind a SPOILER button it should fit...

[Bluth Corporation]

OOC: lol Bluth, of course the only thing an Austrian cares about is propert damage. XD

er, what?

OOC...

You. You are an Austrian economist, yes?

No, and not sure why you'd think I would be, especially as Objectivism conclusively refutes the Austrian so-called "economics".

[Trefoilland]

Now billions of humans will die... from laughter

[United Dependencies]

So you destroyed the moon because it gives you seconds of darkness?

So, what do you plan to do about that 12 hours of nighttime?

Plans are being drawn up for the creation of a second sun to combat those wasted hours as we speak. If you would like to contribute a delegate to the discussion we would be more than happy to accept one.

Why make a second sun? Just increase the mass of jupiter untill it becomes a star.

[Spredronia]

Spredonia has the ultimate weapon.

Our cannons fire a fleet of one million Grues at the sun, wearing light-proof suits, who promptly devour it and then disappear when their suits disappears.

We would like our one trillion Monopoly bucks please.