The Rapture Republic wrote:Merasmia wrote:Conveniently, Merasmus himself suddenly rose up from the ground as a small tremor and a ring of hellfire surrounded him.
"Thank the ancient Sumerian circus god Bonzo, this elevator from Hell was taking forever!" Merasmus said with a tone of annoyance. "Where was I... Oh yes! COWER FOOLS, FOR MERASMUS HAS COME TO BRING YOU GREAT MISFORTUNE TONIGHT, AS HE-" He said as he suddenly screamed loudly as his back made a cracking noise. "DAMNIT ALL! Merasmus has once again slipped a disc... BONEHILDA!" He commaned as suddenly a skeleton in a revealing female nurse costume arrived to grab Merasmus and fix his back with a push, making him sigh in relief.
"Oh, good heavens... it's not easy being 5,000 years old... I should really see the magical Chiropractic wizard of the Thalmor kingdom. Now, BEHOLD! THE MIGHT OF MERASMUS!"
VictorNet groaned.
”Hello, Male Stripper, I believe it was the Cowboy here, who requested your lustrous dances upon his fair highed.” He smirked, pointing his finger towards the Cowboy.
"Male stripper!? HOW DARE YOU ADDRESS THE GREAT AND POWERFUL MERASMUS AS A MERE PROSTITUTE!" Merasmus yelled as thunder cracked in the distance, and a magic green aura held Victor in place. "It was only once in high school, and I was CURIOUS! Besides, how does a mere pile of wire and scrap think that it can stand up to the great likes of MERASMUS!? NO TECHNOLOGY CAN COUNTER THE POWER OF-"
Suddenly, the theme to Skyrim blared from his magical smartphone as he reached into a portal and grabbed it out, laying the spell off VictorNet.
"Hello, who is it? Koko, why a- Oh, Sabrina! Sorry, I always get you two mixed up. How's the Wicked Witch of the West going? Oh she- wait... wha... she... she melted? Oh, I'm sorry to hear that... Yes, I'm up to my old Halloween routine with the world again, zombies and so on... No, those bubbly-hearted fools from Valentine Z haven't paid me any sort of challenge yet... Don't worry, hun, I'll bring you some cigarettes and a carton of Hell pale lager... alright, hugs and kisses. Bye." Merasmus said as he then hung up.
"Sorry, it's that teenage witch again. Giving me trouble, as per usual. You know how women are." Merasmus stated before his eyes glowed green. "Now... YOUR FATE WILL COME LATER, TINMAN! I first have to deal with the Cowboy!" He said as he started to float over to the cowboy before his stomach growled. "...actually, I have to deal with the one other weakness of the mighty Merasmus; his appetite... FOR YOUR SUFFERING! And a panini sandwich... you know you actually get 15% off less in a Subway in Hell than in a regular subway? Not bad." He said as he sat down and held up a white orb that turned red as bloodcurdling screams could be heard, then turning suddenly into the aformentioned panini sandwich, which Merasmus started eating.