The Senate Daily Life: Living by Alternative Facts

[Paketo]

Campaign Rally in North Fernão

"Thank you Senator Aldean for your kind words. Another round of applause for my fellow senator please.

Now, as our rally comes to a close, I would like to address one of my votes in the senate. Even though I have already condemned Senator Durand's Islam comments, I have received questions as to why I voted not to push forward a censor onto Senator Durand. As our Senate leader Senator Tamboli said, the vote on the censor was a partisan act by the RGA trying to take advantage of senate rules. Senator Durand had been given a fair punishment already by our honorable president of the senate and I did not see the necessity of further punishment. If he continues such acts in the senate and a censor vote came up again, I would vote in favor of it. I however do not believe Senator Durand to be the kind of man that the RGA is trying to betray him as. I don't believe he intended his comments in a offensive way to the people of Fernão and trusted that he was a better man than that. Whether my trust is well placed or not, we will see.

Thank you, once again for being here tonight. Remember on election day to vote Dannon for a better Fernao."

[Tectonix]

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Dannon Sticks With Disgraced Durand

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THE by-election here in the North of Fernão is heating up, with the Civic Union's Senator Dannon heading out to the campaign trail. He was introduced by failed Senator Draven Aldean, your typical small-government conservative that would be much more suited running a Tea Party convention in Mobile, Alabama than public office in Fernão. Nevertheless, taxes bad, business good, end of story.

Then came the real spectacle: Dannon. This being one of, if not his first campaign rally, Dannon knew that the eyes of the nation were on him. Did he talk about the small-government principles of Aldean? Maybe address the lingering accusations of racism on his character? Well, the latter he may not have assisted that much. Dannon took the stage and defended him voting against the censuring of disgraced Senator George Durand, following his unacceptable anti-Islam comments and accusing the RGA and other left-leaning Senators of being "social Marxists."

What could not be more hypocritical from Dannon is him trying to fit the narrative of his Party's self-described 'Majority' Leader, Indira Tamboli. They comprise two of three of the opposing voters for the vote to censure Durand, so if anyone is partisan, it's Dannon. So partisan, in fact, that he turned a blind eye to the rest of his party to stick with his precious Tamboli. After all, basically his entire party abandoned Tamboli after they were falling over each other to air their disapproval of Durand so as not to taint their party's image — seems like Dannon did not particularly get the memo.

Robert Sanders, Chief Political Correspondent

[Martune]

The Northern Post

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Dannon Puts on Amazing Rally

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As the election nears close, Senator Stephan Dannon hit the campaign trail in North Fernão. He started off with a great speech and introduced Senator Aldean (something other newspapers fail to get right). Aldean echoed Dannon's message of local government, low taxes, and overall help for small businesses. Afterwards, Dannon went on to talk about his vote to not censure Senator Durand. He explained how the censure was a partisan attack on Mr. Durand and how he believed he'd already been punished enough by the President of the Senate, and his own party mate, Emanuel Carvallo.

Just remember folks, when your reading a failing newspaper and it decides to attack someone's personal character, just don't read it. It's not worth your time.

Greg Turner
Senior Editor
The Northern Post

[Soviet Canuckistan]

In front of a factory in Northern Fernão

"My fellow compatriots, I'm Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz of the Union of Anabaptists running for this seat and tonight I'd like to address one of the largest problems facing this nation, division. For far too long, Senator Dannon has preached a dialogue of dividing our nation and breaking down our communities. Whether it be sticking to partisan lines instead of vouching for morality and tolerance, increasing the division of our nation through the extreme devolution of powers or by eliminating our collective responsibilities to our communities and each other as Fernãoese. I promise to strengthen our nation and our communities by funding more schools and clinics for our communities so that Fernãoese have access to services within their own communities instead of having to lose wages and pay extravagant expenses to travel to the big centres.

Another plank of my platform will be extending further rights to the workers that make this nation great. We will work to strengthen our unions so that they can stand up to the large multinationals that prey upon our people. As well, we plan to encourage the development of local small business in Fernão so that money is funnelled back to Fernãoese instead of exported abroad. We plan to introduce tax credits for these small businesses and a grant program to encourage startups and economic growth in our nation. Thank you all and good night, I will now be taking any questions that you may have."

[Tectonix]

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Brzęczyszczykiewicz Stands Up for the Working Class in Powerful Rally

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AFTER the trainwreck that was the Stephan Dannon rally earlier this week, UA State Assemblyman Brzęczyszczykiewicz visited a factory in Northern Fernão, where he said, among other things, the following statement:

"We will work to strengthen our unions so that they can stand up to the large multinationals that prey upon our people. As well, we plan to encourage the development of local small business in Fernão so that money is funnelled back to Fernãoese instead of exported abroad. We plan to introduce tax credits for these small businesses and a grant program to encourage startups and economic growth in our nation."

Brzęczyszczykiewicz proved himself to be a true supporter of the working class, in clear contrast to the Civic Union's Dannon. He voted against the first reading of the Labour Protection Act a few months back, a bill that will, if passed, grant labourers the right to work in safe environments, with the right to participate in unions and banning child labour. On the subject of Dannon, he has been very adamant regarding his support for both recently-censured Senator George Durand and Senator Draven Aldean, both of whom voted against the Labour Protection Act.

New developments arise everyday, so be sure to pick up your daily copy of The Northern Caller, with the special Election Day issue free for all Fernãoans. Politics may be obfuscated or filibustered, but the truth can never be stopped, no matter what others may think or say.

Robert Sanders, Chief Political Correspondent

https://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?p=31523139#p31523139

https://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?p=31522872#p31522872

[FreYhill]

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Politics: Sheep Shagger Brzęczyszczykiewicz
Ramon Montes, Bazar de Fortaleza| Posted: 30 April 2017 16:31 FST| International

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Victim of Brzęczyszczykiewicz

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- (Fortaleza, Fernao) Leaks from North Fernao show Senate hopeful Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz as a sheep shagger, the Bazar de Fortaleza understands. The UA and Red-Green Alliance backed candidate has been caught raping sheep in a paddock within the electorate where Brzęczyszczykiewicz is standing, showing that he has no regards for animals who cannot vote. The Senate race in North Fernao is considered to be close between Brzęczyszczykiewicz and the Civic Union's Senator Dannon.

Citizens in the streets of North Fernao seem to be shocked and displeased, with 5% of the 1000 person sample stating that they have changed their mind on voting for Brzęczyszczykiewicz. More to come.

[Paketo]

North Fernão Post
Delivering Breaking News As It Happens

With permission from school officials, the NFP and other news organizations were allowed to film Senator Dannon's visit to a local private school. The Senator even during this busy election period took the time out of his schedule to talk to the senior class of St. Basil's School about morality in politics. For over a hour, Senator Dannon discussed the responsibilities that people have to each other and how his faith factored into his political life. Afterwards, the floor was opened up for questions and the students grilled Senator Dannon like a seasoned press corp. Here are some highlights.

"Senator, the Northern Caller accused you of being the partisan one and blindly following Tamboli in the censure vote. Are they right?"

"I see several of you read the Northern Caller. To the topic of question, I know the article you speak of and let me point out a few things with it first. The author of that incorrectly stated that was my first campaign rally. He evidently lives under a rock as that was not my first campaign rally. Second, I did not simply vote Nay because Senator Tamboli voted Nay as that article tries to portray. Unfortunately, I vote based on my own conscience. The Senator Durand I have worked with prior to his comments was a man of higher character than the comments displayed. He had already been doled punishment by the senate leader and not made any further comments. I did not see any value in censor since the punishment seemed to work as intended. I guess I should go ahead an reiterate however that I fully condemn Senator Durand's comments."

"Senator, With our government being secular, how do reconcile you faith with trying to keep religion out of politics?"

"To keep someone's faith out of politics is a fools errand in my opinion. Every single person, even if they don't want to admit it, has their faith factor into their decisions. Whether they be Hindu, Christian, Muslim, or even atheist, it will affect their decisions. In fact, our basis of government is that every person has a set of rights that can't be violated. Where does that come from? Without some kind of Higher power establishing that set of rights, we have just arbitrarily set up a bunch of standards. Everyone in our government says they believe in the principles defined in our constitution but where are those principles derived from? A person can't keep their faith out of politics but they have to do their best to not favor a single group over any other in their decisions."

"Senator, at your last rally, you focused on a commitment to states right. Could you expand on that?"

"Yes, well I grew up in a environment where that was a major issue that divided people. Did the federal government have the ability to go past their defined limits or did states have the right to their own sovereignty? We as a federal government are responsible for around 15 million lives while each of our states has a million or less. The million in the states within the constituency Le Pen do not have the needs of the million within the constituency of North of Fernão. The local state governments have a much better grasp of what there people need then the federal government will having to consider 15 times as many people. I think it is a easy thought then to allow the state governments as much power as they are allowed by the constitution so that the people are governed in a way that ill benefit them."

[Maklohi Vai]

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Politics: Goncalves Announces Support for Brzęczyszczykiewicz
Tomas Sousa, Bazar de Fortaleza| Posted: 30 April 2017 17:01 FST| International

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- (Fortaleza, Fernao) Beto Goncalves, founder of the Coalition of Farmers and Workers, has announced his support for Union of Anabaptists candidate Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz (Brzh-eh-chi-schik-i-ev-iks) in the upcoming by-election.

In an official press release, Goncalves writes, "I am proud to announce my personal support to Grzegorz in his race to enter our legislature. We stand side by side for the working people of Fernão, from the factories to the fields. Together, in our shared vision, we can build a better Ferñao, and so I encourage voters in the North Ferñao to consider voting for Grzegorz and his progressive plan for the future of Ferñao."

The by-election pits Brzęczyszczykiewicz against Stephan Dannon of the Civic Union.

[Martune]

Vote for Stephan Dannon posters are put up

[Collatis]

The Most Trusted Name in News™

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BREAKING NEWS: Minority Leader Bloom Encourages Support for Brzęczyszczykiewicz
Alexander Gouda, Fernão News Network | April 30 2017

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David Bloom greets a senile old man at a Fernoan retirement home

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- (Fortaleza, Fernão) David Bloom, Minority Leader of the Senate and Party Administrator of the Red-Green Alliance, encouraged support for the Union of Anabaptists candidate Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz in the upcoming North of Fernão by-election.

With top FNN reporter Wake Snapper on the scene, Bloom said "I sincerely hope that the people of North of Fernão will select Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz as their next Senator. Grzegorz is the absolute best man for the job. He will stop at nothing to help the working people of Fernão, and will always be an independent voice in the Senate. Having worked with the Union of Anabaptists frequently over the past months, I can say that, though I may not always agree with them, the party consistently fights for what they believe in, and demonstrates the utmost integrity. Grzegorz will bring that worthy mindset to the Senate as Senator for North of Fernão." The Red-Green Alliance had previously endorsed Brzęczyszczykiewicz's candidacy two days earlier.

Brzęczyszczykiewicz is currently slightly favored to win over Stephan Dannon of the Civic Union.

[Department of Elections]

Fernão Poll Aggregator
North of Fernão By-Election

Brzęczyszczykiewicz (UA) | 50.67%
Dannon (CU) | 49.33%

Hours before the polls open in the North of Fernão by-election, opinion polls show Stephan Dannon of the Civic Union inching toward closing the gap with Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz. A flurry of endorsements gave Brzęczyszczykiewicz a slight boost, and positive news coverage saved him from certain death after drowning out an infamous goat video that surfaced online. Dannon's continued speaking tour around the constituency and his advertising efforts have proven effective, but it remains to be seen for both candidates how strongly they will push to get out the vote — Dannon's push to younger voters has put him in their favor, but will they show up at the polls? And Brzęczyszczykiewicz is a favorite among the large rural communities in the constituency, but their likelihood of travelling to the ballot box may be up in the air.

BBC World will be covering the election over IRC, because there are no televisions in the global south, starting at 5pm GMT. Tune in then for live results, which will be posted on the forums later.

[Collatis]

The Most Trusted Name in News™

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BREAKING NEWS: "Weird Al" Yankovic releases song in support of Brzęczyszczykiewicz
Alexander Gouda, Fernão News Network | April 30 2017

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Yankovic shows his support for Brzęczyszczykiewicz

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- (Fortaleza, Fernão) Alfred Yankovic, more commonly known by the moniker Weird Al, has released a new song in support of Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz's candidacy in the North of Fernão by-election. Yankovic is a popular parody artist, primarily in the west, who has a surprisingly large following in Fernão.

The song, entitled "Anabaptist Paradise", has already skyrocketed to number one on the Fernoan charts. Yankovic has insisted that the track be distributed throughout North of Fernão free of charge, along with iPods, to allow everyone to enjoy. When asked how he became involved in the North of Fernão by-election, something virtually unknown in the United States, where he currently resides, Yankovic responded "Look, I don't want to get into a history lesson, but Grzegorz and I go way back. He's a great guy, and I know he will serve the people of North of Fernão well. Oh, and make sure to check out 'Anabaptist Paradise'. It really is one of the best songs I've ever made."

The song is not currently available online, and may be limited to a Fernoan release only. However, fans can always listen the song that "Anabaptist Paradise" parodies: "Amish Paradise", another song of Yankovic's.

[Tectonix]

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Brzęczyszczykiewicz Goat Video Faked

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A video regarding State Assemblyman Brzęczyszczykiewicz engaged in an inappropriate action with a goat has been proven to be fabricated in the purposes of derailing his campaign, our investigative reporters have discovered. The video's metadata directs to an IP address based in the United States, and further investigation regarding the scenery involved has concluded that it had been concocted by in a farm in North Carolina, though this remains unconfirmed.

As well, it has been noted that the video suffers from a major lack of quality, and the man in question whom is believed to be Brzęczyszczykiewicz does not share the same skin tone nor construction of the head as the actual State Assemblyman, clearly proving the video to be nothing more but a deliberate attempt to sabotage the election here in Northern Fernão. The political stunt, unfortunately, bears shocking resemblances to the partisan nonsense that was the email scandal that plagued U.S. democratic candidate Hillary Clinton in her bid for the presidency, ultimately sinking it, among other factors.

So, with polls now open, The Northern Caller's staff will be heading out to vote, so when we return, your free election night edition will be made available. Best of wishes to you all, and may only the truth and nothing but the truth guide your hand as it makes its selection on the ballot.

Robert Sanders, Chief Political Correspondent

[Ainin]

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Politics: Local Paper Fooled by Proxy
Roode Maan, Bazar de Fortaleza| Posted: 30 April 2017 23:40 FST| International

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(Fortaleza, Fernao) - In a desperate attempt to justify Assemblyman Brzęczyszczykiewicz's carnal knowledge of a goat, the local paper The Northern Caller conducted a shoddy investigation that claimed to disprove the veracity of the video by tracing its uploader's IP address to the United States. This, the paper claimed, was proof that the video was doctored by foreign interests to tip the election in the incumbent's favour.

However, a quick reverse search reveals that the IP address in question is associated with a server farm owned by a Raleigh-based VPN provider, indicating that the server was simply a proxy for an anonymous uploader. Given the intense and invasive scrutiny that partisan news media have placed upon the uploader, in a malicious and targeted attempt to out the whistleblower, it is little wonder that they have chosen to stay behind the veil of a network proxy.

According to security researcher Mohammad Singh, "[the local news crew] fell for the oldest trick in the book. IPs are a very poor way of identifying an individual's location."

In a statement by the editorial board, the Bazar reaffirmed that it stands by its report of Mr. Brzęczyszczykiewicz's bestiality.

[Paketo]

North Fernão Post
Delivering Breaking News As It Happens

With election day drawing near, Senator Dannon's campaign seems to be doubling down on its campaign to get people out to vote. His campaign has been handing out pamphlets with locations for voting locations in North of Fernão focusing on upper-class neighborhoods and bastions of CU support within the constituency. With this also being one of the first election cycles after the civil war, Senator Dannon's campaign has also made a effort to register voters within the same areas.

A hallmark of Senator Dannon's campaign is his outreach to young voters which are usually seen as a left leaning group. It seems this strategy has worked in his favor though as his poll numbers with young voters seem to be rising.

The most recent stop on the campaign trail, Senator Dannon spoke after visits to local places of worship

"It is important that we make a situation where all Fernãons of all faith can live and prosper. A nation where a Muslim child, a Christian child, a Hindu child, and all the other faiths of Fernão are able to grow up happy and proud to be a Fernãon."

Whether or not these last efforts will push the vote in his favor is yet to be seen.

[Soviet Canuckistan]

In front of a bus terminal in Northern Fernão

"Good evening people of Northern Fernão and thanks for coming out tonight. One of our biggest challenges coming out of this terrible period of civil war and strife is rebuilding our nation's infrastructure. Should you be forced to travel on roads cratered with potholes that haven't been fixed in years, forced to wait hours for a dilapidated bus or for a train that might not even arrive, of course not. This is why I promise to push the government to invest in regional mass transit and transportation initiatives in order to connect our communities to each other and the goods they produce to the world. No more will commuters have to live in crowded and dilapidated apartments so that they can make their commute when trains will connect regional centres with bedroom communities, creating healthier communities and brighter futures for Fernãoese. University students won't have to spend thousands on housing even though they don't live that far from a campus.

Speaking of university students, I'd like to address a rising problem in our nation for our young people, the price of housing in our nation. As Fernão becomes more and more prosperous, housing prices are only going to rise as foreign investors snap up our housing resources as an investment. This is why I'd like to address the problem now, before it becomes a true crisis. I will push for tax credits for first-time homebuyers so that they can create equity and a stable financial foundation for themselves while they're young and keep the hard-earned cash of Fernãoese in Fernão. For those of lower incomes, I'll push for more subsidized housing, so that landlords won't be forcing people out onto the streets with steepening rent costs.

As you go to the polls tomorrow, remind yourself, are we creating a Fernão to be divided and exploited by the rich and people such as Senator Dannon or do we need to rebuild this nation together to create a stronger Fernão? Thank you all so much for coming out tonight and if you have any questions, I'd like to answer them right now."

[Ainin]

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Breaking: Brzęczyszczykiewicz Supported by Isis
Roode Maan, Bazar de Fortaleza| Posted: 30 April 2017 23:40 FST| International

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(Fortaleza, Fernao) - In a recent video, Isis Caliph Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi was heard praising Mr. Brzęczyszczykiewicz for "standing up for our values, like oppressing women and dressing up in clothing that doesn't fit the climate we live in."

A man, who only gave his surname as Doe, told the Bazar that "this is bad" when interviewed about this recent development.

This is a breaking news report. Stay with the Bazar for live updates.

[Collatis]

The Most Trusted Name in News™

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BREAKING NEWS: North of Fernão residents call on Dannon to disavow "Goatgate" attacks
Alexander Gouda, Fernão News Network | April 30 2017

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- (Fortaleza, Fernão) A petition has been gaining traction in the North of Fernão constituency in recent days. The petition calls on Stephen Dannon of the Civic Union, a candidate in the by-election, to disavow and condemn the falsified video of his Union of Anabaptists opponent, Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz, that has been spreading over the past week. The video claims to depict Brzęczyszczykiewicz engaging in relations with a goat, and has been repeatively proven to be falsified by watchdogs.

The creator of the nascent petition, Peter Bonham, has this to say, "I'm not a very political person. It just occurred to my wife and I that the conduct in this race has so far been disgusting, particularly from shady outside forces. I've always considered myself to be more conservative, and I voted Civic Union last election. However, this attack has really gone too far. The video is obviously and provenly fake, and yet the mainstream media continues to report it as fact. I, and many other Fernoans like me, call on Mr. Dannon to disavow this disgusting partisan attack."

Whether Dannon will respond is yet to be seen.

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Update: Some have claimed that it was a sheep. These are lies. It was definitely a goat.

[Tectonix]

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Evidence-Less Proxy Claims Baffle Readers

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IN a surprising turn of events, the self-described 'news organisation' named the "Bazar of Fortaleza" attempted to save face by providing, with no evidence, that a proxy was used in the uploading of the faked Brzęczyszczykiewicz goat video. Unsurprisingly, the paper's desperate attempts amounted to zero evidence being provided, with their 'simple reverse search' only demonstrating their baffling lack of knowledge regarding how proxies actually function.

Not only this, but the article fails to note the other obvious glaring fallacies of the video, like the clear un-resemblance of the man in question to Brzęczyszczykiewicz. Although we do admit that an IP is not outright sufficient to prove the illegitimacy of the video, the other reasonings provided in our investigation are more than enough to disprove the hilariously false video.

As well, the Bazar recently reported that Brzęczyszczykiewicz was supported by ISIS, a claim so fundamentally hilarious in its baffling falsehood that it is unclear how the 'paper' may recover. Once again, no evidence provided for either the ISIS nor goat video—partisan media as always.

Robert Sanders, Chief Political Correspondent

[Socialist Nordia]

Northern Tribune

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Brzęczyszczykiewicz Stands Up for Students and the Working Class in Passionate Speech

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In a widely commented speech given by Senatorial candidate Brzęczyszczykiewicz today, he laid out a vision for the future of North Fernão.

In his impassioned speech, given in public view of his fellow citizens, he called for massive investments in crumbling infrastructure, and intends to champion expansion of public transit.

A particularly resonating point was his recognition of the obscenely high cost of housing for poor and young Fernãoans, something which his opponent has failed to even address throughout the campaign. Instead, big business has been made the emphasis of the Dannon campaign, despite the already massive income gap.

Receptions of the speech were all around positive, with Brzęczyszczykiewicz's base at peak enthusiasm and opponents increasingly weighing there options. Immediately following, he opted to take questions from the public, concerned over the issues affecting them.


Eustaquio Lobo, political correspondent

[Department of Elections]

Fernão Elections Commission
North of Fernão By-Election Results

Votes cast: 856,474
Turnout: 66.5%

Brzęczyszczykiewicz (UA) | 429,370 | 50.13%
Dannon (CU) | 427,104 | 49.87%

Precinct-by-precinct map will come soon.

[Collatis]

David Bloom smiles and nods upon hearing the election results. This was good news.

[Tectonix]

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Senator Brzęczyszczykiewicz - Election Night Special Edition

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AFTER all was said and done, we here in Northern Fernão have a new Senator: Senator Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz. This campaign has been dominated by the false "Goatgate," opposition Stephan Dannon appeal to young voters and elite big business, and Brzęczyszczykiewicz's appeal to the middle-class and rural communities. We here at the Northern Caller were happy to go out and vote, and we were especially happy to see y'all out there, exercising your political right as a citizen of Fernão. This election has shown that Fernão will not stand up to racist demagogues like Dannon, and we will only continue to prosper and better our country with good men like Brzęczyszczykiewicz.

Be sure to watch out for the Bazar, Northern Fernão Post and other such partisan media to downplay this incredible feat by Brzęczyszczykiewicz. It'll be quite fun to watch their partisanship to occlude their judgement.

Robert Sanders, Chief Political Correspondent

[Paketo]

North Fernão Post
Delivering Breaking News As It Happens

Senator Dannon in a short press conference responded to the Goat Gate which people have asked him to address.

"The fact that I am even being forced to address this is quite stupid to me. I have had no part in any such videos of my opponent engaging in any acts of bestiality whether real or fake. In fact, I have not partaken in any attacks on my opponents character unlike Mr. Brzęczyszczykiewicz. He has nearly equated me to being a puppet of the rich that want to divide Fernão which is blatantly false. I want to unite this nation and all of this people so that all of Fernãons can live well and prosper. I want to help our nation recover after our devastating civil war. I reiterate, I have had no part in this supposed Goat Gate and refrained from ever attacking my opponent's character during the duration of this campaign."

[Paketo]

North Fernão Post
Delivering Breaking News As It Happens

We are reporting live at Senator Dannon's first press conference since the results were declared. What will his words to his supports be?

"I would like to thank everyone here for you support during the election. Your faith in me is heartening though the declared results did not go our way. The results were close at less than 2000 votes between victory and defeat. Considering that small margin, after talking to my campaign advisors, I have chosen to not yet concede this election and request a recount of the elections votes. If the recount petition is accepted and my opponent still comes out above myself, then I will peacefully concede this election. This election is the first of the new system we are implementing across Fernão which is why it is crucial that we get this right. Before any opponents of mine attack this move, with such a small margin, errors can occur in counting. I have promised to accept the results of this recount whether in my favor or not. Thank you for your time."