The Liquid Wallaby - Meanwhile, in the East (Closed)

[Barboneia]

Culdranth-Dom stepped into the wallaby, fiddling with his hat. He seemed to have cut holes in it so his ears could fit. He climbed up onto a bar stool and sighed.

Caramehl is sitting on the stool next to him, sipping from a glass of lemonade. She slowly glances down at him. "... Huh. Dom has a Culdranth clone. Who would've thought?"

Dom glanced up at her. "Oh, come on! You are taller than me now? This is ridiculous. I will make Vess pay when I get to my normal size! I mean... I won't really be able to do much more than what I'd be able to do now... But I'll try!" He huffed.

[TotallyNotEvilLand]

Caramehl is sitting on the stool next to him, sipping from a glass of lemonade. She slowly glances down at him. "... Huh. Dom has a Culdranth clone. Who would've thought?"

Dom glanced up at her. "Oh, come on! You are taller than me now? This is ridiculous. I will make Vess pay when I get to my normal size! I mean... I won't really be able to do much more than what I'd be able to do now... But I'll try!" He huffed.

"I mean, we were almost face-level before. You're friggin' tiny anyways." She snickers evilly. "You look so damn silly, to boot! Like, what kind of self-respecting Culdranth wears a fedora? You gotta be more flamboyant about it, Dom. Get like... a shako. Or a wizard hat. Or something. Fancy it up."

Cordus floats overhead. "Y'know, Cara... I think you, Vess, and I should start a prank channel."

Caramhel squints up at Cordus. "That's too low, even for me."

[Barboneia]

Dom glanced up at her. "Oh, come on! You are taller than me now? This is ridiculous. I will make Vess pay when I get to my normal size! I mean... I won't really be able to do much more than what I'd be able to do now... But I'll try!" He huffed.

"I mean, we were almost face-level before. You're friggin' tiny anyways." She snickers evilly. "You look so damn silly, to boot! Like, what kind of self-respecting Culdranth wears a fedora? You gotta be more flamboyant about it, Dom. Get like... a shako. Or a wizard hat. Or something. Fancy it up."

Cordus floats overhead. "Y'know, Cara... I think you, Vess, and I should start a prank channel."

Caramhel squints up at Cordus. "That's too low, even for me."

"But I like my fedora! It gives me good memories. You know, I originally bought this fedora back in Barboneia from some crazy old guy who claimed to have killed the previous prime minister. I only had to give him a tuna sandwich for it! Great deal. And it looks nice with the flowers in it!" He smiled. "Besides, a silly hat wouldn't look good with my suit." He hopped off the stool and spun around, posing, as if he were a fashion model. "See? The hat and suit form a good relationship together. They make me look snazzy, sauve, and charming!"

[TotallyNotEvilLand]

"But I like my fedora! It gives me good memories. You know, I originally bought this fedora back in Barboneia from some crazy old guy who claimed to have killed the previous prime minister. I only had to give him a tuna sandwich for it! Great deal. And it looks nice with the flowers in it!" He smiled. "Besides, a silly hat wouldn't look good with my suit." He hopped off the stool and spun around, posing, as if he were a fashion model. "See? The hat and suit form a good relationship together. They make me look snazzy, sauve, and charming!"

Caramehl resists the urge to burst out laughing entirely. "I mean, yeah, but you gotta think. The suit and hat don't really work with the... Culdranth angle. There's a reason we still wear 18th century shit. That's when Culdranth fashion peaked. I can see you now... you got one of these funny, gravity defying red pom things attached to your head, maybe a frock coat.. oh, and obviously we gotta give you some show-offy gold-encrusted pants. You'll look like a noble."

[Barboneia]

"But I like my fedora! It gives me good memories. You know, I originally bought this fedora back in Barboneia from some crazy old guy who claimed to have killed the previous prime minister. I only had to give him a tuna sandwich for it! Great deal. And it looks nice with the flowers in it!" He smiled. "Besides, a silly hat wouldn't look good with my suit." He hopped off the stool and spun around, posing, as if he were a fashion model. "See? The hat and suit form a good relationship together. They make me look snazzy, sauve, and charming!"

Caramehl resists the urge to burst out laughing entirely. "I mean, yeah, but you gotta think. The suit and hat don't really work with the... Culdranth angle. There's a reason we still wear 18th century shit. That's when Culdranth fashion peaked. I can see you now... you got one of these funny, gravity defying red pom things attached to your head, maybe a frock coat.. oh, and obviously we gotta give you some show-offy gold-encrusted pants. You'll look like a noble."

Dom thinks for a bit. "...That doesn't sound so bad, actually. Do you know any local tailors that could make those for me?"

[TotallyNotEvilLand]

Dom thinks for a bit. "...That doesn't sound so bad, actually. Do you know any local tailors that could make those for me?"

"Pfft. Fuck tailors. Este! Get over here and show this guy the meaning of proper clothing."

The black-furred Culdranth mutters to herself and wanders over with a small wand, swishing it about non chalantly. "Eight years at the South Culdranth academy and the greatest use my skills have is giving clothes to the ill-dressed." She mutters, lightly tapping Dom on the head, giving him the requested clothing... along with a massive, red, fuzzy ball on a string attached to Dom's hat.

"That's a fashion thing. The Iracusians have their kilts, we have our head poms."

[Chaos Crescent]

Dom thinks for a bit. "...That doesn't sound so bad, actually. Do you know any local tailors that could make those for me?"

"Pfft. Fuck tailors. Este! Get over here and show this guy the meaning of proper clothing."

The black-furred Culdranth mutters to herself and wanders over with a small wand, swishing it about non chalantly. "Eight years at the South Culdranth academy and the greatest use my skills have is giving clothes to the ill-dressed." She mutters, lightly tapping Dom on the head, giving him the requested clothing... along with a massive, red, fuzzy ball on a string attached to Dom's hat.

"That's a fashion thing. The Iracusians have their kilts, we have our head poms."

'But who as the feet, tails and whatever else?'

[Barboneia]

Dom thinks for a bit. "...That doesn't sound so bad, actually. Do you know any local tailors that could make those for me?"

"Pfft. Fuck tailors. Este! Get over here and show this guy the meaning of proper clothing."

The black-furred Culdranth mutters to herself and wanders over with a small wand, swishing it about non chalantly. "Eight years at the South Culdranth academy and the greatest use my skills have is giving clothes to the ill-dressed." She mutters, lightly tapping Dom on the head, giving him the requested clothing... along with a massive, red, fuzzy ball on a string attached to Dom's hat.

"That's a fashion thing. The Iracusians have their kilts, we have our head poms."

Dom looked himself over, a bit awed. "...Huh. Thanks, I guess." He grinned at Caramehl. Is this better?"

[TotallyNotEvilLand]

Dom looked himself over, a bit awed. "...Huh. Thanks, I guess." He grinned at Caramehl. Is this better?"

Caramehl looks up. "Yeah. You look less like a dweeb. You'll totally get all the ladies now." She pats him on the head and struts off.

Este crosses her arms and huffs.

[Barboneia]

Dom looked himself over, a bit awed. "...Huh. Thanks, I guess." He grinned at Caramehl. Is this better?"

Caramehl looks up. "Yeah. You look less like a dweeb. You'll totally get all the ladies now." She pats him on the head and struts off.

Este crosses her arms and huffs.

Dom looked over at Este. "Was she lying? Do you think I look like a dweeb?"

[TotallyNotEvilLand]

Caramehl looks up. "Yeah. You look less like a dweeb. You'll totally get all the ladies now." She pats him on the head and struts off.

Este crosses her arms and huffs.

Dom looked over at Este. "Was she lying? Do you think I look like a dweeb?"

"... Nah, you look pretty good. You could use a little... make-up. Y'know, red cheeks and all. Looks youthful, drives the 70-120 demographic crazy, and those are the ones you want."

[Barboneia]

Dom looked over at Este. "Was she lying? Do you think I look like a dweeb?"

"... Nah, you look pretty good. You could use a little... make-up. Y'know, red cheeks and all. Looks youthful, drives the 70-120 demographic crazy, and those are the ones you want."

"S... Seventy year olds to one hundred and twenty year olds? I'm only twenty-nine! Isn't dating, like, people much older than you... Ah... Weird?"

[Torrocca]

"... Nah, you look pretty good. You could use a little... make-up. Y'know, red cheeks and all. Looks youthful, drives the 70-120 demographic crazy, and those are the ones you want."

"S... Seventy year olds to one hundred and twenty year olds? I'm only twenty-nine! Isn't dating, like, people much older than you... Ah... Weird?"

"Well, you wouldn't have a fucking problem with that if you hadn't assaulted your last girlfriend, ya fucking douche-canoe!" a familiar voice shouts from across the bar.

[TotallyNotEvilLand]

"... Nah, you look pretty good. You could use a little... make-up. Y'know, red cheeks and all. Looks youthful, drives the 70-120 demographic crazy, and those are the ones you want."

"S... Seventy year olds to one hundred and twenty year olds? I'm only twenty-nine! Isn't dating, like, people much older than you... Ah... Weird?"

"Not really. It's kind of an acceptable thing in the Thines, since, y'know, you're around much longer than everyone else. Besides, the older ones have their shit together. They've moved past the partying phase, some of 'em have already raised kids... they're wise and stuff. And still young." Este coughs. "My first boyfriend was like 90 years past my age. He was cool... then he drank himself to death on wine."

"Well, you wouldn't have a fucking problem with that if you hadn't assaulted your last girlfriend, ya fucking douche-canoe!" a familiar voice shouts from across the bar.

Vess snerks maniacally. "Oh, he really did that? I think the Culdranth drink was more karmic than I first thought. GOOD LUCK ASSAULTING PEOPLE NOW, SUKI!" She cackles. Kasat twitches with annoyance at her fellow Reil.

[Barboneia]

"S... Seventy year olds to one hundred and twenty year olds? I'm only twenty-nine! Isn't dating, like, people much older than you... Ah... Weird?"

"Not really. It's kind of an acceptable thing in the Thines, since, y'know, you're around much longer than everyone else. Besides, the older ones have their shit together. They've moved past the partying phase, some of 'em have already raised kids... they're wise and stuff. And still young." Este coughs. "My first boyfriend was like 90 years past my age. He was cool... then he drank himself to death on wine."

"Interesting. How old are you now, huh? I like to keep my options open, if you know what I mean." He wiggles his eyebrows.

[Torrocca]

"S... Seventy year olds to one hundred and twenty year olds? I'm only twenty-nine! Isn't dating, like, people much older than you... Ah... Weird?"

"Not really. It's kind of an acceptable thing in the Thines, since, y'know, you're around much longer than everyone else. Besides, the older ones have their shit together. They've moved past the partying phase, some of 'em have already raised kids... they're wise and stuff. And still young." Este coughs. "My first boyfriend was like 90 years past my age. He was cool... then he drank himself to death on wine."

"Well, you wouldn't have a fucking problem with that if you hadn't assaulted your last girlfriend, ya fucking douche-canoe!" a familiar voice shouts from across the bar.

Vess snerks maniacally. "Oh, he really did that? I think the Culdranth drink was more karmic than I first thought. GOOD LUCK ASSAULTING PEOPLE NOW, SUKI!" She cackles. Kasat twitches with annoyance at her fellow Reil.

"You're damn right he did!" Torr replies, "I was watching the security footage from the past few days yesterday! Fucker hit her right in the stomach! No remorse at all."

[TotallyNotEvilLand]

"Interesting. How old are you now, huh? I like to keep my options open, if you know what I mean." He wiggles his eyebrows.

She snickers slightly. "25, and I'll... keep you in mind. Not sure I'm really relationship material... that and my sisters would torment you. Caramehl would just harass you and the other one would beat you up."

"You're damn right he did!" Torr replies, "I was watching the security footage from the past few days yesterday! Fucker hit her right in the stomach! No remorse at all."

"Well, now he's going to be hard pressed to do more than ankle-biting." Vess scratches her face.

Oba very, very slowly looks over to Torr with an unamused expression. "What were you doing with my security footage? You would have to break into my office to get it."

[Chaos Crescent]

"S... Seventy year olds to one hundred and twenty year olds? I'm only twenty-nine! Isn't dating, like, people much older than you... Ah... Weird?"

"Not really. It's kind of an acceptable thing in the Thines, since, y'know, you're around much longer than everyone else. Besides, the older ones have their shit together. They've moved past the partying phase, some of 'em have already raised kids... they're wise and stuff. And still young." Este coughs. "My first boyfriend was like 90 years past my age. He was cool... then he drank himself to death on wine."

"Well, you wouldn't have a fucking problem with that if you hadn't assaulted your last girlfriend, ya fucking douche-canoe!" a familiar voice shouts from across the bar.

Vess snerks maniacally. "Oh, he really did that? I think the Culdranth drink was more karmic than I first thought. GOOD LUCK ASSAULTING PEOPLE NOW, SUKI!" She cackles. Kasat twitches with annoyance at her fellow Reil.

'You know keep that up Vess and it'll bite you. Probably...'

[Torrocca]

"Interesting. How old are you now, huh? I like to keep my options open, if you know what I mean." He wiggles his eyebrows.

She snickers slightly. "25, and I'll... keep you in mind. Not sure I'm really relationship material... that and my sisters would torment you. Caramehl would just harass you and the other one would beat you up."

"You're damn right he did!" Torr replies, "I was watching the security footage from the past few days yesterday! Fucker hit her right in the stomach! No remorse at all."

"Well, now he's going to be hard pressed to do more than ankle-biting." Vess scratches her face.

Oba very, very slowly looks over to Torr with an unamused expression. "What were you doing with my security footage? You would have to break into my office to get it."

"... We should tell anyone and everyone he meets who he really is," Torr says, before turning to Oba and replying, "doing what I do whenever shit goes down in any of these Liquid Wallaby establishments. Watch the chaos with popcorn and vodka! You might've witnessed me kick some serious ass a few days back..."

[Barboneia]

"Interesting. How old are you now, huh? I like to keep my options open, if you know what I mean." He wiggles his eyebrows.

She snickers slightly. "25, and I'll... keep you in mind. Not sure I'm really relationship material... that and my sisters would torment you. Caramehl would just harass you and the other one would beat you up."

"You know, I always dreamed of getting with Caramehl. She really is beautiful. Of course, I was stuck with Ava for the longest time, so pursuing her was never really an option. Of course... She is basically insane and would probably end up killing me, so... I've reconsidered it."

[TotallyNotEvilLand]

"... We should tell anyone and everyone he meets who he really is," Torr says, before turning to Oba and replying, "doing what I do whenever shit goes down in any of these Liquid Wallaby establishments. Watch the chaos with popcorn and vodka! You might've witnessed me kick some serious ass a few days back..."

"... I'm too lazy to go that far."

Oba clears his throat. "This is not a Liquid Wallaby. This. Is my bar. I do not care who you are, if you ever break into my office again I will break into your rib cage." His voice remains deathly serious (and heavily accented) the entire way through. "Do not fuck with me, Mister Torr."

"You know, I always dreamed of getting with Caramehl. She really is beautiful. Of course, I was stuck with Ava for the longest time, so pursuing her was never really an option. Of course... She is basically insane and would probably end up killing me, so... I've reconsidered it."

"Caramehl's... weird like that. Besides this one time back in Melanthine I don't think she's ever dated. Except she was pregnant for a bit. And then the baby disappeared. ... I wouldn't trust her is what I'm getting at." Este hems awkwardly. "You're best off just staying away from the Du'Puis family entirely."

[Torrocca]

"... We should tell anyone and everyone he meets who he really is," Torr says, before turning to Oba and replying, "doing what I do whenever shit goes down in any of these Liquid Wallaby establishments. Watch the chaos with popcorn and vodka! You might've witnessed me kick some serious ass a few days back..."

"... I'm too lazy to go that far."

Oba clears his throat. "This is not a Liquid Wallaby. This. Is my bar. I do not care who you are, if you ever break into my office again I will break into your rib cage." His voice remains deathly serious (and heavily accented) the entire way through. "Do not fuck with me, Mister Torr."

"You know, I always dreamed of getting with Caramehl. She really is beautiful. Of course, I was stuck with Ava for the longest time, so pursuing her was never really an option. Of course... She is basically insane and would probably end up killing me, so... I've reconsidered it."

"Caramehl's... weird like that. Besides this one time back in Melanthine I don't think she's ever dated. Except she was pregnant for a bit. And then the baby disappeared. ... I wouldn't trust her is what I'm getting at." Este hems awkwardly. "You're best off just staying away from the Du'Puis family entirely."

"... Oh." Torr pauses for a second, then shouts, "hey, wait a minute! How the hell do you know my name?!" He seems to have forgotten that he's probably the most famous and controversial piece of royalty in the modern age.

[TotallyNotEvilLand]

"... Oh." Torr pauses for a second, then shouts, "hey, wait a minute! How the hell do you know my name?!" He seems to have forgotten that he's probably the most famous and controversial piece of royalty in the modern age.

Besides Cerril. Or Crysal. Or Cerril's siblings.

"I know a great many things, Mr Torr. It would be wise not to question it." Some mysterious-sounding flutes play off in the distance.

[Barboneia]

"You know, I always dreamed of getting with Caramehl. She really is beautiful. Of course, I was stuck with Ava for the longest time, so pursuing her was never really an option. Of course... She is basically insane and would probably end up killing me, so... I've reconsidered it."

"Caramehl's... weird like that. Besides this one time back in Melanthine I don't think she's ever dated. Except she was pregnant for a bit. And then the baby disappeared. ... I wouldn't trust her is what I'm getting at." Este hems awkwardly. "You're best off just staying away from the Du'Puis family entirely."

Dom sniffed. "Hm. Yes, that sounds like a good idea to me. Perhaps I can find a nice Japanese woman. A massage specialist, preferably." He sighs, a dreamy look on his face.

[Torrocca]

"... Oh." Torr pauses for a second, then shouts, "hey, wait a minute! How the hell do you know my name?!" He seems to have forgotten that he's probably the most famous and controversial piece of royalty in the modern age.

Besides Cerril. Or Crysal. Or Cerril's siblings.

"I know a great many things, Mr Torr. It would be wise not to question it." Some mysterious-sounding flutes play off in the distance.

Not as controversial as an absolute dicktator, though.

"Why bother questioning it when I can handle it through pure, unstoppable brute force?"