A Perennial Tavern - I Think I'm Turning Culdranthine (OPEN)

[Barboneia]

"Oh, well, I'm sure that if they were to attempt anything, our jolly boys in red will come over to aid you and your fellow countrymen!" He grinned. "I always wanted to be in a battle. I was in the army for a while, but I only got shipped out to protect some buildings owned by the East Culdranthine Company in India. Not a single riot occurred. I'm not considered part of the draft, either, since I was in the army already and left it." He shrugged, sadly. "Oh well. I guess any chances for me to be able to fight won't happen any time soon."

"That's a fair point. Though I'm sure the Melanth would be scheming with Ahl Cuhlt if they were up to something. They never fight fair, obviously." Tsengsi coughs, seemingly about to say something profound about warfare before his usually veneer comes back up again. "It's a blast! Cannons and guns going off, sabres rattling, horses trampling people... It's truly an experience."

He frowned. "...That sounds awful. I thought battles were supposed to be gentlemanly? Two lines facing each other, shooting with muskets until they run out of ammunition and charge with their bayonets... Those damned British Americans ruined warfare during their so called "Revolution". They shot at our officers, for God's sake! I'm thankful those savages were put down."

[TotallyNotEvilLand]

Gwen couldn't help but listen in. She leaned in closer.
"So, you are a war hero of some sort, I presume?," she asked, her curiosity piqued.

Tsengsi tenses up slightly from Gwen suddenly reentering the conversation, and looks back at her. "Yes. I'm the person you have to thank for making a musket standard issue on the Tinellian continent. My contemporaries wanted to push magic as an infantry mainstay, instead, but I pointed out it's much faster to make a poor farmer a good shot, instead of making a poor farmer a master wizard. Oh, and I took Kaismenthine from the Melanth. That part is important too."

He frowned. "...That sounds awful. I thought battles were supposed to be gentlemanly? Two lines facing each other, shooting with muskets until they run out of ammunition and charge with their bayonets... Those damned British Americans ruined warfare during their so called "Revolution". They shot at our officers, for God's sake! I'm thankful those savages were put down."

"The idea of a gentlemanly fight is a bit of a stupid one, sorry to say. Why meet at an arranged time and let the enemy prepare? Lure the enemy into traps and ambushes, cover fields with sesame oil and fire a burning arrow into it while they march through... Pshaw. The other nobles might be appalled but my record speaks for itself."

[Barboneia]

He frowned. "...That sounds awful. I thought battles were supposed to be gentlemanly? Two lines facing each other, shooting with muskets until they run out of ammunition and charge with their bayonets... Those damned British Americans ruined warfare during their so called "Revolution". They shot at our officers, for God's sake! I'm thankful those savages were put down."

"The idea of a gentlemanly fight is a bit of a stupid one, sorry to say. Why meet at an arranged time and let the enemy prepare? Lure the enemy into traps and ambushes, cover fields with sesame oil and fire a burning arrow into it while they march through... Pshaw. The other nobles might be appalled but my record speaks for itself."

Desmond looks appalled for a moment. "That's not how me and my fellow soldiers were trained to fight! It seems... Dirty... But, since you're the one saying it, I feel I'll have to change my current opinion so that I agree with you."

[TotallyNotEvilLand]

Desmond looks appalled for a moment. "That's not how me and my fellow soldiers were trained to fight! It seems... Dirty... But, since you're the one saying it, I feel I'll have to change my current opinion so that I agree with you."

Tsengsi puts the word 'spineless' in his internal dictionary for Desmond, and shrugs in a serious, dramatic manner. "It's really quite simple. You lose a lot less people using hit and run attacks than you do standing in a field and taking shots at one another. Not to mention surrounding your enemies tends to lead to a quick surrender. That's always my favorite. 'We've got you kno- where the hell did those guys come from?'. And then they realize they have guns pointing at them from all sides."

[Barboneia]

Desmond looks appalled for a moment. "That's not how me and my fellow soldiers were trained to fight! It seems... Dirty... But, since you're the one saying it, I feel I'll have to change my current opinion so that I agree with you."

Tsengsi puts the word 'spineless' in his internal dictionary for Desmond, and shrugs in a serious, dramatic manner. "It's really quite simple. You lose a lot less people using hit and run attacks than you do standing in a field and taking shots at one another. Not to mention surrounding your enemies tends to lead to a quick surrender. That's always my favorite. 'We've got you kno- where the hell did those guys come from?'. And then they realize they have guns pointing at them from all sides."

"I'd be inclined to say that's quite comical, if it weren't for the fact that they probably end up being shot to death horribly. Or, well, if they surrender, you don't shoot them, right?"

[TotallyNotEvilLand]

"I'd be inclined to say that's quite comical, if it weren't for the fact that they probably end up being shot to death horribly. Or, well, if they surrender, you don't shoot them, right?"

"It depends on how annoyed I am on that day, but generally I don't." He clears his throat as a plate of noodles is brought to him, and he flicks a coin towards Lao, starting to eat. "At least we're more sporting about captives than the Aztecs. Stories of what they did to those captured conquistadores spread all the way over here. In 1540. That's pretty impressive considering the time."

[Barboneia]

"I'd be inclined to say that's quite comical, if it weren't for the fact that they probably end up being shot to death horribly. Or, well, if they surrender, you don't shoot them, right?"

"It depends on how annoyed I am on that day, but generally I don't." He clears his throat as a plate of noodles is brought to him, and he flicks a coin towards Lao, starting to eat. "At least we're more sporting about captives than the Aztecs. Stories of what they did to those captured conquistadores spread all the way over here. In 1540. That's pretty impressive considering the time."

"Really? I've heard of those fellows, they don't seem like the kind who would want to trade-" He stops as he watches Tsengsi receive the noodles and begin to eat them. He seems almost entranced.

[Ava Ire]

Gwen couldn't help but listen in. She leaned in closer.
"So, you are a war hero of some sort, I presume?," she asked, her curiosity piqued.

Tsengsi tenses up slightly from Gwen suddenly reentering the conversation, and looks back at her. "Yes. I'm the person you have to thank for making a musket standard issue on the Tinellian continent. My contemporaries wanted to push magic as an infantry mainstay, instead, but I pointed out it's much faster to make a poor farmer a good shot, instead of making a poor farmer a master wizard. Oh, and I took Kaismenthine from the Melanth. That part is important too."

"Magic?" Her brows furrowed, as if contemplating, before speaking again. "Hmm. I don't think magic should be used for warfare. Too much room for terrible things to happen."

[TotallyNotEvilLand]

"Really? I've heard of those fellows, they don't seem like the kind who would want to trade-" He stops as he watches Tsengsi receive the noodles and begin to eat them. He seems almost entranced.

Tsengsi gives Desmond a strange expression as he continues eating. The kind that screams 'the fuck are you looking at'.

Tsengsi tenses up slightly from Gwen suddenly reentering the conversation, and looks back at her. "Yes. I'm the person you have to thank for making a musket standard issue on the Tinellian continent. My contemporaries wanted to push magic as an infantry mainstay, instead, but I pointed out it's much faster to make a poor farmer a good shot, instead of making a poor farmer a master wizard. Oh, and I took Kaismenthine from the Melanth. That part is important too."

"Magic?" Her brows furrowed, as if contemplating, before speaking again. "Hmm. I don't think magic should be used for warfare. Too much room for terrible things to happen."

"Stay clear of Ahl Cuhlt, then. They're obsessed with it. Magic muskets! Magic swords, magic barriers... admittedly I like the last part. I've neutralized entire cannon volleys that way."

[Barboneia]

"Really? I've heard of those fellows, they don't seem like the kind who would want to trade-" He stops as he watches Tsengsi receive the noodles and begin to eat them. He seems almost entranced.

Tsengsi gives Desmond a strange expression as he continues eating. The kind that screams 'the fuck are you looking at'.

Desmond seems to get the message, and looks away. He glances over at him occasionally, before standing up and straightening his coat. Desmond bowed to Tsengsi and smiled. "It was an honor, Mr. Tzu. I pray that we shall be able to see each other again in the coming days." He cleared his throat, and walked out of the tavern, humming merrily.

[TotallyNotEvilLand]

Desmond seems to get the message, and looks away. He glances over at him occasionally, before standing up and straightening his coat. Desmond bowed to Tsengsi and smiled. "It was an honor, Mr. Tzu. I pray that we shall be able to see each other again in the coming days." He cleared his throat, and walked out of the tavern, humming merrily.

Tsengsi sighs in relief, and starts eating again. "I'm sure I'll see you later." He mumbles with a mouthful of noodles. Celeste gives him a wink on his way out, though it's unclear what she's getting at.

[Chaos Crescent]

Drake sighs drinks heavily then quite possibly passes out cause you know.

[Ava Ire]

"Magic?" Her brows furrowed, as if contemplating, before speaking again. "Hmm. I don't think magic should be used for warfare. Too much room for terrible things to happen."

"Stay clear of Ahl Cuhlt, then. They're obsessed with it. Magic muskets! Magic swords, magic barriers... admittedly I like the last part. I've neutralized entire cannon volleys that way."

"Hmph, deplorable. Magic should only be used aggressively for self-defense. I'd fear for the fate of this world, the day that a wizard army should occur." Gwen clutched the pendant of her necklace, twiddling it between her fingers. "Ahl Cuhlt?"

[Chaos Crescent]

"Stay clear of Ahl Cuhlt, then. They're obsessed with it. Magic muskets! Magic swords, magic barriers... admittedly I like the last part. I've neutralized entire cannon volleys that way."

"Hmph, deplorable. Magic should only be used aggressively for self-defense. I'd fear for the fate of this world, the day that a wizard army should occur." Gwen clutched the pendant of her necklace, twiddling it between her fingers. "Ahl Cuhlt?"

Drake would hear this and snort.

'Magic if used by both fighting sides cancel each out. Then there is holes in the world those that can't be affected by magic.'

[TotallyNotEvilLand]

Celeste, Tsengsi, and Aurelian have an extended conversation about local politics.

Josef attempts to make pasta again. It looks slightly edible.

[Chaos Crescent]

Celeste, Tsengsi, and Aurelian have an extended conversation about local politics.

Josef attempts to make pasta again. It looks slightly edible.

Drake would sacrifice himself to see if it is edible mostly cause he had nothing to do.

[Barboneia]

Celeste, Tsengsi, and Aurelian have an extended conversation about local politics.

Josef attempts to make pasta again. It looks slightly edible.

Desmond stepped into the tavern, and having noticed them, he sat down in a booth near them, smiling at Tsengsi.

The Poste Gentleman stared at the pasta, and sniffed. "Hey, that actually smells pretty good!"

[TotallyNotEvilLand]

Celeste, Tsengsi, and Aurelian have an extended conversation about local politics.

Josef attempts to make pasta again. It looks slightly edible.

Desmond stepped into the tavern, and having noticed them, he sat down in a booth near them, smiling at Tsengsi.

The Poste Gentleman stared at the pasta, and sniffed. "Hey, that actually smells pretty good!"

Tsengsi briefly acknowledges Desmond, and resumes his chat.

"You can try it, if you want! The great Josef always shares his gifts."

[Barboneia]

Desmond stepped into the tavern, and having noticed them, he sat down in a booth near them, smiling at Tsengsi.

The Poste Gentleman stared at the pasta, and sniffed. "Hey, that actually smells pretty good!"

Tsengsi briefly acknowledges Desmond, and resumes his chat.

"You can try it, if you want! The great Josef always shares his gifts."

Desmond held his hand over his heart and sighed. "So dreamy...." he mumbled.

He tries a bit of it, and upon the pasta touching his tongue he begins to wheeze and cough violently, before spitting it up back onto the plate. "Aaaagh! That was fuckin' awful! What the hell kind of pasta is that?!"

[TotallyNotEvilLand]

Tsengsi briefly acknowledges Desmond, and resumes his chat.

"You can try it, if you want! The great Josef always shares his gifts."

Desmond held his hand over his heart and sighed. "So dreamy...." he mumbled.

He tries a bit of it, and upon the pasta touching his tongue he begins to wheeze and cough violently, before spitting it up back onto the plate. "Aaaagh! That was fuckin' awful! What the hell kind of pasta is that?!"

He would probably be very disturbed if he knew what Desmond had just said.

Josef makes a blank, somewhat worried expression. "It's, uh... just regular Melanth noodles." It tastes like raw garlic.

[Barboneia]

Desmond held his hand over his heart and sighed. "So dreamy...." he mumbled.

He tries a bit of it, and upon the pasta touching his tongue he begins to wheeze and cough violently, before spitting it up back onto the plate. "Aaaagh! That was fuckin' awful! What the hell kind of pasta is that?!"

He would probably be very disturbed if he knew what Desmond had just said.

Josef makes a blank, somewhat worried expression. "It's, uh... just regular Melanth noodles." It tastes like raw garlic.

Desmond continued to watch them (mostly Tsengsi), a longing expression on his face.

"Ugh... Learn how to cook you idiot. I've eaten dog biscuits that tasted better."

[TotallyNotEvilLand]

Desmond continued to watch them (mostly Tsengsi), a longing expression on his face.

"Ugh... Learn how to cook you idiot. I've eaten dog biscuits that tasted better."

Eventually, he starts to see Tsengsi naked. Carmel laughs wickedly off in the distance.

He looks down at the floor, excessively depressed, and walks away.

[Chaos Crescent]

Drake when watch any and all the wemmez there.

[Barboneia]

Desmond continued to watch them (mostly Tsengsi), a longing expression on his face.

"Ugh... Learn how to cook you idiot. I've eaten dog biscuits that tasted better."

Eventually, he starts to see Tsengsi naked. Carmel laughs wickedly off in the distance.

He looks down at the floor, excessively depressed, and walks away.

Desmond's face turns bright red, and he runs off to the nearest bathroom.

"Ech..." The Poste Gentleman went over to the bar counter. He looked at Lao. "Hey, barkeep, I need a beer. Or two. Or five."

[TotallyNotEvilLand]

Eventually, he starts to see Tsengsi naked. Carmel laughs wickedly off in the distance.

He looks down at the floor, excessively depressed, and walks away.

Desmond's face turns bright red, and he runs off to the nearest bathroom.

"Ech..." The Poste Gentleman went over to the bar counter. He looked at Lao. "Hey, barkeep, I need a beer. Or two. Or five."

Carmel's reflection appears in the mirror, with her usual smarmy expression. "You know, the Iracusians are pretty chill with that sort of thing."

Lao looks up from his book, and closes it, using a feather as a bookmark. "Sure. Same thing as last time, I'm guessing?"