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Game Mod Olympics: Wet & Wild

PostPosted: Thu May 29, 2014 11:25 pm
by [violet]
And while we're at it: a mod reshuffle!

Game Mod Upgrades
  • Sedgistan joins the ranks of the Seniors in becoming a Senior Issues Moderator.
Forum Mod Upgrades
Gaining new Game Mod powers:
Retired
  • GMC Military Arms slips peacefully into the arms of Real Life. A moment's silence, please.
And now for the Games!


Eighteen months ago, in the last Game Mod Olympics, newcomer Sedgistan blitzed the field to take out a world record 13 gold medals. Yes, he announced himself in a blaze of glory that day, before embarking on an increasingly tacky world tour of sponsorships and self-celebration. For a while there you couldn't walk down the street without being confronted by a picture of Sedgistan advertising something, draped in his gold chains and casual strumpets.

But has the reigning champ kept in shape? That question has set the crowd abuzz, with rumors flying of Sedgistan's shrinking athletic ability and expanding waistline. Sure, he has continued to issue those videos, promising to defend his title, but one can't help but notice they are all carefully shot from the neck up.

Anyway! It's not all about Sedge! There are nearly two dozen mods lining up here today, and every one of them has a shot. Can another newcomer in Transnapastain take the crown? Is this the year Reploid Productions finally gives in to physical reality and admits she can't compete any more at 102 years of age? And what about that NERVUN? He's been everywhere!

This year, the Game Mod Olympics are held in sun-drenched Brasilistan, a delightful venue unanimously chosen after all other candidate nations mysteriously ceased to exist due to mod misclicks. And aren't the Brasilistanians making some noise for the occasion! Some people thought protesters would be a nuisance, but all that screaming is really adding to the ambiance!

And here come the athletes! First into the arena is Frisbeeteria, and... wow! He bulked up for the last Olympics, but now he's clearly decided to go to the next level! His arms are like legs! His legs are like torsos! And his torso is like a whole bunch of arms and legs! It's like there's an orgy going on all over his body; you just can't tell what part you're looking at!

And here comes Katganistan! Like Fris, she's gone for a power-up, but apparently she's gone in a different direction: she's become a being of pure light. As she floats into the arena, people shield their eyes and try to smooth their hair, which floats above them due to the static electricity! Is it legal to compete in the Olympics in non-corporeal form? Who cares!

Scolopendra scuttles in, followed by Kryozerkia a sleigh pulled by two dozen birds, and here comes Dread Lady Nathicana, stepping out of her M1A1 Abrams battle tank and scraping a few protesters off the grille. Haha, you can't park in here, DLN! I mean... yes you can! I didn't mean that! Put me down!

More competitors follow, but everyone's looking for Sedgistan. And look at this! Talk about entering in style! He's arriving in a hot air balloon! What a sense of majesty! What a... wait... I'm just being informed... oh! That is Sedge! He really has let himself go!

Sedgistan takes his place among the other athletes. Crazy girl tries to mop his brow, but there are rivers of sweat coming off that guy. Sedgistan does not look comfortable in this humidity. His purple velour tracksuit is soaked and we haven't even started!

And here we go! Things kick off with a pair of the softer events: Flag Deletions.

The mods prepare themselves. Frisbeeteria appears to be taking the opportunity to administer one last chemical supplement. And .. BANG! They're off! But that wasn't the starter's pistol; that was one of Frisbeeteria's biceps exploding! Oh dear!

--- Nation Flag Deletions ---
293 : Kryozerkia
275 : Katganistan
169 : Dread Lady Nathicana
113 : Frisbeeteria
103 : Scolopendra
55 : NERVUN
46 : Reploid Productions
43 : Transnapastain
38 : Euroslavia
30 : Crazy girl
20 : Sedgistan
10 : Ardchoille
8 : Tsaraine
5 : Ballotonia
4 : The Most Glorious Hack
2 : The Archregimancy
2 : Flibbleites

--- Region Flag Deletions ---
21 : Katganistan
19 : Dread Lady Nathicana
13 : Kryozerkia
11 : Scolopendra
6 : Frisbeeteria
6 : NERVUN
3 : Euroslavia
3 : Reploid Productions
2 : Ardchoille
2 : Crazy girl

Sedgistan gently rolls toward the finish line, aided by a light breeze, but Katganistan, Kryozerkia, and Dread Lady Nathicana are already there, high-fiving! Although attempts to high-five Katganistan pass right through her ethereal form. But you can tell what they mean!

Katganistan: 1 gold, 1 silver
Kryozerkia: 1 gold, 1 bronze
Dread Lady Nathicana: 1 silver, 1 bronze

Hobbling to the finish line, Frisbeeteria encases his entire body in clingy plastic wrap to prevent further leakage. I'm... I'm not sure if that's going to help, Fris. But let's find out with the Regional events!

--- Region Edits ---
95 : Dread Lady Nathicana
86 : Frisbeeteria
63 : Sedgistan
23 : NERVUN
22 : Katganistan
16 : Scolopendra
16 : Reploid Productions
11 : Ballotonia
5 : Ardchoille

--- Region Renamings ---
19 : Katganistan
18 : Dread Lady Nathicana
13 : Frisbeeteria
11 : NERVUN
2 : Ardchoille

--- RMB Deletions ---
468 : Frisbeeteria
227 : Sedgistan
174 : Dread Lady Nathicana
173 : NERVUN
154 : Katganistan
135 : Kryozerkia
74 : Reploid Productions
27 : Crazy girl
11 : Euroslavia
10 : Cogitation

Our Lady of the Dread is flying here! I mean literally flying! She's using an F-35 Lightning II strike jet! DLN banks against the setting sun and circles the arena twice in victory. Nice touch!

Katganistan: 2 gold, 1 silver
Dread Lady Nathicana: 1 gold, 2 silver, 2 bronze
Frisbeeteria: 1 gold, 1 silver, 1 bronze
Kryozerkia: 1 gold, 1 bronze
Sedgistan: 1 silver, 1 bronze

Frisbeeteria's plastic wrap has sprung a couple of light holes, and he appears to be spraying some kind of blood-steroid cocktail into the crowd. But don't they love it! Man, that's showmanship! And possibly a serious health risk!

But what's going on with Sedgistan? He's actually started rolling pretty quickly! Can he defend his title after all??

--- Nation Edits ---
1113 : Kryozerkia
627 : Frisbeeteria
588 : Scolopendra
485 : Dread Lady Nathicana
395 : Katganistan
262 : Reploid Productions
189 : NERVUN
167 : Sedgistan
56 : Euroslavia
52 : Ballotonia
45 : Ardchoille
45 : Transnapastain
31 : Crazy girl
29 : [violet]
12 : Tsaraine
6 : The Archregimancy
5 : Cogitation
4 : The Most Glorious Hack

--- Nations Cache-Flushed ---
29 : Ballotonia
5 : Scolopendra
3 : Dread Lady Nathicana

--- Nations Deleted ---
3168 : Frisbeeteria
2716 : Dread Lady Nathicana
2344 : Ballotonia
1696 : Scolopendra
1308 : Reploid Productions
987 : Sedgistan
881 : Katganistan
754 : Kryozerkia
724 : NERVUN
379 : Euroslavia
199 : Ardchoille
177 : Tsaraine
170 : The Archregimancy
122 : Crazy girl
54 : Transnapastain
38 : Flibbleites
8 : The Most Glorious Hack
8 : [violet]
6 : Cogitation

--- Nations Restored ---
65 : Scolopendra
35 : Frisbeeteria
30 : Katganistan
29 : Euroslavia
21 : Sedgistan
12 : Kryozerkia
9 : Reploid Productions
7 : NERVUN
4 : Dread Lady Nathicana
3 : Ardchoille

It's a solid set of events for the centipede, who's been overlooked so far this Olympics, since he's only two inches long. Has that always been the case? I vaguely remember a towering bronze statue. But make no mistake: Scolo is scuttling like the wind!

Kryo snatches another gold medal, and even new admin Ballotonia gets on the board! I don't actually think admins are permitted to compete in the Game Mod Olympics! But try telling that to Ballotonia! In fact, a steward is doing that right now. He's taking Ballotonia aside... Ballotonia is nodding... and he's pulled a knife! Oh no! Ballotonia! Not in the stomach! Stop that! Oh wow! You have to give it to him, Ballotonia doesn't let other people define his limits!

Katganistan: 2 gold, 1 silver, 1 bronze
Frisbeeteria: 2 gold, 3 silver, 1 bronze
Kryozerkia: 2 gold, 1 bronze
Dread Lady Nathicana: 1 gold, 3 silver, 3 bronze
Scolopendra: 1 gold, 1 silver, 1 bronze
Ballotonia: 1 gold, 1 bronze
Sedgistan: 1 silver, 1 bronze

It's anyone's game as we turn to the World Assembly events...

--- WA Proposals Removed ---
1021 : Kryozerkia
303 : Ardchoille
242 : Sedgistan
187 : Flibbleites
80 : NERVUN
76 : Crazy girl
71 : Frisbeeteria
12 : Scolopendra
10 : Katganistan

--- WA Cheat Checks ---
5221 : Frisbeeteria
4954 : Kryozerkia
3452 : Reploid Productions
1291 : Sedgistan
1059 : Scolopendra
436 : Katganistan
49 : Dread Lady Nathicana
18 : Ardchoille
17 : NERVUN
11 : Cogitation
10 : Euroslavia
9 : Crazy girl
4 : Ballotonia
4 : The Most Glorious Hack
3 : Flibbleites
3 : [violet]
2 : Transnapastain
1 : Tsaraine

--- WA Ejections ---
1269 : Frisbeeteria
1104 : Kryozerkia
390 : Sedgistan
331 : Reploid Productions
89 : Scolopendra
89 : Katganistan
26 : Ardchoille
17 : NERVUN
10 : Dread Lady Nathicana
10 : Flibbleites
4 : Crazy girl
3 : Tsaraine

--- WA Warnings Issued ---
4030 : Frisbeeteria
2931 : Kryozerkia
1547 : Reploid Productions
747 : Sedgistan
108 : Scolopendra
69 : Katganistan
42 : Dread Lady Nathicana
8 : Euroslavia
5 : Ardchoille
4 : Crazy girl
2 : Flibbleites
2 : The Most Glorious Hack
2 : NERVUN

Ardchoille gets on the leaderboard with a shiny silver, and the grand old-timer Reploid Productions picks up two bronzes, just what she needed to augment her replacement hip! But aside from that, it's Kryozerkia and Frisbeeteria jostling for the top places, with Fris snatching 3 gold medals. And isn't he happy with that, spraying his juices high into the air! Make it rain, Fris! Make it rain!

Frisbeeteria: 5 gold, 3 silver, 1 bronze
Kryozerkia: 3 gold, 3 silver, 1 bronze
Katganistan: 2 gold, 1 silver, 1 bronze
Dread Lady Nathicana: 1 gold, 3 silver, 3 bronze
Scolopendra: 1 gold, 1 silver, 1 bronze
Ballotonia: 1 gold, 1 bronze
Sedgistan: 1 silver, 3 bronze
Archoille: 1 silver
Reploid Productions: 2 bronze

Speaking of unnerving discharges of bodily fluids, Sedgistan has output so much sweat that he's now approaching his regular size. Do I smell a comeback, or is that just a foul cocktail of the athletes' various excretions?

--- Issues Processed ---
186 : Sedgistan
8 : Frisbeeteria

--- Issues Accepted ---
59 : Sedgistan
2 : Kindly Professor Hell
1 : Frisbeeteria

Oh my goodness! Just like that, Sedge leaps to third! And can you believe it: we have no fewer than six different moderators with at least one gold medal! Seven, if you include Ballotonia, which he is insisting that I do! Okay, Ballo, I did it! I swear I just did it! And yes, we can count Kindly Professor Hell, too!

Frisbeeteria: 5 gold, 4 silver, 2 bronze
Kryozerkia: 3 gold, 3 silver, 1 bronze
Sedgistan: 2 gold, 1 silver, 3 bronze
Katganistan: 2 gold, 1 silver, 1 bronze
Dread Lady Nathicana: 1 gold, 3 silver, 3 bronze
Scolopendra: 1 gold, 1 silver, 1 bronze
Ballotonia: 1 gold, 1 bronze
Archoille: 1 silver
Kindly Professor Hell: 1 silver
Reploid Productions: 2 bronze

Now it's time for the famous VoMs. When you hear the Voice of Mod, who exactly is that?

--- VoM RMB Posts ---
186 : Frisbeeteria
139 : Katganistan
119 : Dread Lady Nathicana
119 : Reploid Productions
44 : Scolopendra
35 : Sedgistan
25 : NERVUN
8 : Kryozerkia
7 : Transnapastain
5 : Euroslavia
2 : Crazy girl

--- VoM Telegrams Sent ---
3047 : Frisbeeteria
2818 : Kryozerkia
2690 : Katganistan
1825 : Scolopendra
1501 : Dread Lady Nathicana
935 : Sedgistan
801 : NERVUN
624 : Reploid Productions
480 : Ardchoille
170 : Euroslavia
159 : Crazy girl
141 : Flibbleites
131 : Transnapastain
39 : Tsaraine
35 : The Archregimancy
34 : [violet]
21 : Cogitation
15 : Ballotonia

Fris, mostly! But it's a tight one!

Frisbeeteria: 7 gold, 4 silver, 2 bronze
Kryozerkia: 3 gold, 4 silver, 1 bronze
Katganistan: 2 gold, 2 silver, 2 bronze
Sedgistan: 2 gold, 1 silver, 3 bronze
Dread Lady Nathicana: 1 gold, 3 silver, 4 bronze
Scolopendra: 1 gold, 1 silver, 1 bronze
Ballotonia: 1 gold, 1 bronze
Archoille: 1 silver
Kindly Professor Hell: 1 silver
Reploid Productions: 2 bronze

As we move into the final bracket of events, it looks like Fris has the momentum to win it from here. But the Ks are still in it, with both Katganistan's pure-energy form undimmed, and Kryozerkia looking like she's just beginning to spread her wings. I mean that literally. Kryo is unfurling a huge pair of wings. She's flapping them about and... oh! She's caught sight of herself in a mirror! She's... she's bobbing her head up and down! Yes! Who's a pretty girl! You are!

And don't write off Dread Lady Nathicana, who has a remarkable 8 medals all up, plus as an impressive array of military hardware.

Sedgistan, unfortunately has sweated off so much weight, he's becoming hard to see. He really doesn't like humidity.

Here we go!

--- Help Requests Processed ---
5250 : Frisbeeteria
5167 : Katganistan
4100 : Kryozerkia
3527 : Dread Lady Nathicana
3074 : Scolopendra
1780 : Sedgistan
1713 : Reploid Productions
1178 : NERVUN
381 : Euroslavia
311 : Crazy girl
220 : Ardchoille
198 : Transnapastain

--- Help Requests Resolved ---
3441 : Katganistan
3099 : Frisbeeteria
2414 : Kryozerkia
1936 : Scolopendra
1829 : Dread Lady Nathicana
835 : Sedgistan
638 : NERVUN
607 : Reploid Productions
272 : Euroslavia
143 : Ardchoille
117 : Transnapastain
66 : Crazy girl

--- All Moderator Actions ---
72807: Frisbeeteria
44323: Kryozerkia
39296: Dread Lady Nathicana
34419: Katganistan
30133: Scolopendra
28932: Reploid Productions
25909: Sedgistan
10842: NERVUN
5589 : Ballotonia
5112 : Ardchoille
3876 : Euroslavia
2355 : Crazy girl
2333 : Transnapastain
1820 : The Archregimancy
1178 : [violet]
1134 : Tsaraine
910 : Testlandia
890 : Flibbleites
406 : Cogitation
137 : The Most Glorious Hack
128 : Kindly Professor Hell
66 : SalusaSecondus

Frisbeeteria: 9 gold, 5 silver, 2 bronze (last time: 1 gold, 11 silver, 4 bronze)
Kryozerkia: 3 gold, 5 silver, 3 bronze (1-7-0)
Katganistan: 3 gold, 3 silver, 2 bronze (0-1-4)
Sedgistan: 2 gold, 1 silver, 3 bronze (17-2-0)
Dread Lady Nathicana: 1 gold, 3 silver, 5 bronze (0-0-1)
Scolopendra: 1 gold, 1 silver, 1 bronze (0-0-0)
Ballotonia: 1 gold, 1 bronze (DISQUALIFIED) (OVERTURNED ON APPEAL)
Archoille: 1 silver (0-0-0)
Kindly Professor Hell: 1 silver (0-0-0)
Reploid Productions: 2 bronze (0-0-5)

Frisbeeteria brings it! And look at his veins bulge in triumph! That's... that's actually pretty disgusting! But you have to admire his willingness to push his body beyond any sane limit in the pursuit of personal glory!

It was a remarkably even Olympics this time around, with major contributions from over a dozen mods. There were an amazing 312,600 moderator actions, at a rate well over 500 per day. Take a look at NERVUN: almost 11,000 Game Mod actions and not a single medal! That's how hot the competition is these days.

These are the people who keep the site running, and they do it for nothing more than the personal satisfaction of spreading fear wherever they go. They do a lot of work that you see, but a lot more that you don't. And they don't just purge the site of evil; they stand up for people who will never know they did it, and argue the merits of the most difficult cases, in order to arrive at the right policy and the right ruling.

We wouldn't have NationStates without them, so if you appreciate their work, thank a mod today!

PostPosted: Thu May 29, 2014 11:36 pm
by Jeckland
Thankyou to all the mods for the great work you do, and congratulations to those who have been promoted!

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 12:20 am
by Shazbotdom
Frisyboy, you need to lay off those roids, you'll get roid rage if you keep it up. ;)

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 12:51 am
by Alleniana
:clap:
'gratz to the promotees, and a damn good show! Didn't realise there was such a thing as mod Olympics, but this is cool. Applauding [violet] for the hysterical commentary too. :lol:

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 1:11 am
by Reploid Productions
Alleniana wrote:Applauding [violet] for the hysterical commentary too. :lol:

102, REALLY?! Bah! Never underestimate the staying power of cybernetic replacements! :p

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 1:19 am
by Ayreonia
Fantastic show. I laughed my ass off.

Congrats to all winners and promotees!

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 1:24 am
by Alleniana
Reploid Productions wrote:
Alleniana wrote:Applauding [violet] for the hysterical commentary too. :lol:

102, REALLY?! Bah! Never underestimate the staying power of cybernetic replacements! :p

Why, but of course! This is NS after all! :p

I'm recommending rereading the thing; I missed this gem the first time round;
Frisbeeteria's plastic wrap has sprung a couple of light holes, and he appears to be spraying some kind of blood-steroid cocktail into the crowd. But don't they love it! Man, that's showmanship! And possibly a serious health risk!

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 1:25 am
by The Miaphysite Church of Coptic Archism
Excellent show all around, thanks to all of you mods who keep us peasants quivering in our boots!

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 1:28 am
by Normlpeople
Grats on the promotions. And the metal counts. Commentary gave me a much needed laugh.

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 2:12 am
by Port blood
cue 90s porn music?



congrats to the slaves moderators that won :P

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 2:41 am
by Electrum
Well done, oh holy moderators!

*Poofs out of existence due to a misclick*

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 2:45 am
by Estenia
I would like to thank the mods because they gave me some advice.

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 3:27 am
by Bears Armed
:rofl:

I'd been wondering when (and even "if") we'd see another of these contests...

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 3:28 am
by Shaluach
Whooeee! Congratulations to all the medal-earners, and how's about an IRL congrats to the mods who are getting promoted!

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 3:29 am
by Bears Armed
*<checks>*

And I see that somebody actually has created the hosting nation of Brasilistan.

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 3:31 am
by Kelxo
Thank you to all the Mods and Admins at NationStates. You really deserve more recognition, you all do a great job. Thank you guys.

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 4:04 am
by Tuva SSR
Woo Hoo to all the mods who participated!
Ole,Ole,Ole,Ole!

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 4:25 am
by The Blaatschapen
Bears Armed wrote:*<checks>*

And I see that somebody actually has created the hosting nation of Brasilistan.


*coughs* :blush:

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 5:13 am
by Tano
Blaat's a game mod now?

May Max save us all :ugeek:

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 5:21 am
by Exantos
Congratulations to all the mods and all the help they've given us in Nationstates. We sincerely do appreciate you taking the time to stomp us into the earth and showing that we are wrong and you are always right. :D
In all seriousness though thank you. :hug:

Also to [violet] for making an excellent games. Good luck next year Sedgistan. :clap:

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 5:22 am
by Luziyca
I think one of the other mods would want to go the NBC way (total medal count).

NBC-style table
Frisbeeteria: 7 gold, 4 silver, 2 bronze (13)
Kyrozerkia: 3 gold, 4 silver, 1 bronze (8)
Dread Lady Nathicana: 1 gold, 3 silver, 4 bronze (8)
Katganistan: 2 gold, 2 silver, 2 bronze (6)
Sedgistan: 2 gold, 1 silver, 3 bronze (6)
Scolopendra: 1 gold, 1 silver, 1 bronze (3)
Ballotonia: 1 gold, 1 bronze (2)
Reploid Productions: 2 bronze (2)
Archoille: 1 silver (1)
Kindly Professor Hell: 1 silver (1)

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 6:29 am
by Kelxo
What happened to GMC Military Arms? :/

And I forgot, a :hug: for all the mods/admins/cute purple dinosaurs. c:

Kelxo-

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 8:02 am
by Aden Protectorate
I'm rooting for Dread!

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 8:23 am
by Dremaur
Thanks to all the Mods and Admins out there for keeping the peace in the forums. Without you, NS would probably dissolve into crap posts and endless bickering.

PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 8:30 am
by Frisbeeteria
Shazbotdom wrote:Frisyboy, you need to lay off those roids, you'll get roid rage if you keep it up. ;)

* Flexes *

Kelxo wrote:What happened to GMC Military Arms? :/

Inactivity, as is often the case with retired mods.