The Eternal Thread - So NSG, What's Going On?

[FoxTropica]

Are you the Illuminati?
When you make one world government and stuff, can i be a secretary?

I'm not in any sort of World Government group, okay? But if I was, I'd say that you can be a shovel.
*inspects you*

Yes, yes. You have the perfect anatomical build for a shovel.
*nods*

I'd snap in half though?

I Think i still want to do something with paperwork.......If you Were in a world goverment thingy...

[Nationstatelandsville]

I'm not in any sort of World Government group, okay? But if I was, I'd say that you can be a shovel.
*inspects you*

Yes, yes. You have the perfect anatomical build for a shovel.
*nods*

I'd snap in half though?

I Think i still want to do something with paperwork.......If you Were in a world goverment thingy...

Your role was decided five years before you were even born, young one.

(nods)

[The Nuclear Fist]

An ode to Uncle Vlad

I may be odd
Awesome and weird
I may be God
And have a mustache and not a beard

I may have a tentacle or three
And a bag of brown-brown by the door
But above all things I am free
For that is my essence, at the core

My naked puzzle basement will astound and amuse
Me, at least, I don't know about you
As I sit around, shirtless, and muse
Whether tears are supposed to be a red hue

A little scotch, some vodka and whiskey
Is the best medicine for a Romany Jew
For all who meet me it's risky
(But those who survive say it's worth the due)

Happily, above all things one can be said
For of my mistakes, I am free of one sin
I can shout until I'm dead
"At least I'm not Albanian!"

*claps*

[FoxTropica]

I'd snap in half though?

I Think i still want to do something with paperwork.......If you Were in a world goverment thingy...

Your role was decided five years before you were even born, young one.

(nods)

I Can change it though, Right?

I Know quite a few things that were decided before i was born that i plan to change...

[Conserative Morality]

*claps*

I'm glad you liked it.

[Nationstatelandsville]

Your role was decided five years before you were even born, young one.

(nods)

I Can change it though, Right?

I Know quite a few things that were decided before i was born that i plan to change...

No, no, you can not. You always have been and always will be, the Great Shovel of His Holiness, Caesar Nikolai Tesla Vladmir the Uncle.

[The Nuclear Fist]

I Can change it though, Right?

[FoxTropica]

I Can change it though, Right?

I Know quite a few things that were decided before i was born that i plan to change...

No, no, you can not. You always have been and always will be, the Great Shovel of His Holiness, Caesar Nikolai Tesla Vladmir the Uncle.

But I'd make a terrible shovel...
What if vlad retcons it?

I Can change it though, Right?

I'm scared to reply....

[Nationstatelandsville]

No, no, you can not. You always have been and always will be, the Great Shovel of His Holiness, Caesar Nikolai Tesla Vladmir the Uncle.

But I'd make a terrible shovel...
What if vlad retcons it?

His Holiness, Caesar Nikolai Tesla Vladmir the Uncle does not change his mind on matters as crucial to inter-dimensional politics as his Shovel.

[The Blaatschapen]

But I'd make a terrible shovel...
What if vlad retcons it?

His Holiness, Caesar Nikolai Tesla Vladmir the Uncle does not change his mind on matters as crucial to inter-dimensional politics as his Shovel.

Everyday I'm shovelin'

[The Nuclear Fist]

No, no, you can not. You always have been and always will be, the Great Shovel of His Holiness, Caesar Nikolai Tesla Vladislav the Uncle.

Woah, woah, woah. Let's not get carried away, here. In the future NWO of the Shadowy Cabal of Lizardmen, which I must remind you totally doesn't exist and totally isn't headquartered on Europa and under the ocean, he wouldn't be important enough to be used as a shovel by myself. He'd likely be a shovel for some petty bureaucrat's assistant on one of the moons of Mercury.

[FoxTropica]

No, no, you can not. You always have been and always will be, the Great Shovel of His Holiness, Caesar Nikolai Tesla Vladislav the Uncle.

Woah, woah, woah. Let's not get carried away, here. In the future NWO of the Shadowy Cabal of Lizardmen, which I must remind you totally doesn't exist and totally isn't headquartered on Europa and under the ocean, he wouldn't be important enough to be used as a shovel by myself. He'd likely be a shovel for some petty bureaucrat's assistant on one of the moons of Mercury.

And would this fictional bureaucrat take bribes..? If he existed.

[Nationstatelandsville]

No, no, you can not. You always have been and always will be, the Great Shovel of His Holiness, Caesar Nikolai Tesla Vladislav the Uncle.

Woah, woah, woah. Let's not get carried away, here. In the future NWO of the Shadowy Cabal of Lizardmen, which I must remind you totally doesn't exist and totally isn't headquartered on Europa and under the ocean, he wouldn't be important enough to be used as a shovel by myself. He'd likely be a shovel for some petty bureaucrat's assistant on one of the moons of Mercury.

Shh... we mustn't reveal the true identity of your Shovel! Go along with the trick!

[The Nuclear Fist]

Woah, woah, woah. Let's not get carried away, here. In the future NWO of the Shadowy Cabal of Lizardmen, which I must remind you totally doesn't exist and totally isn't headquartered on Europa and under the ocean, he wouldn't be important enough to be used as a shovel by myself. He'd likely be a shovel for some petty bureaucrat's assistant on one of the moons of Mercury.

Shh... we mustn't reveal the true identity of your Shovel! Go along with the trick!

Well, if this theoretical Cabal of Lizardmen existed, you would, theoretically, be the Minister of Information and Silly Walks, so it would, theoretically, be up to you to keep things quiet, theoretically.

[New East Ireland]

Shh... we mustn't reveal the true identity of your Shovel! Go along with the trick!

Well, if this theoretical Cabal of Lizardmen existed, you would, theoretically, be the Minister of Information and Silly Walks, so it would, theoretically, be up to you to keep things quiet, theoretically.

Theoretically speaking, of course.

[Nationstatelandsville]

His Holiness, Caesar Nikolai Tesla Vladmir the Uncle does not change his mind on matters as crucial to inter-dimensional politics as his Shovel.

Everyday I'm shovelin'

...No.

For this joke, the fury of a thousand rabid and horny honey badgers will be cast upon you and your descendants for eleven and a half generations. Each morning, you and the inheritors of your curse will awake to blistering bee-stings and the bizarre smell of wood-rot, boiled whiskey, and the residue of a million million innocent souls being processed by the End-Machine. When you try to shower, in place of water, Diet Vanilla Cherry Dr. Pepper will rain down from the faucet. But it will never hit you. No, it will hit the arthritic and incredibly senile Murder-Koalas that now live in your shower. This will drive them into a maddened rage in which they will eat your left ankle. You will emerge from the shower and try to go to work, only to be mauled by a wild Charlie Sheen. You will try to go to the hospital, when your wounds will magically heal themselves. Relieved, you will try to go eat breakfast at McDonald's, only to find that is already 11:00 AM and you are too late! And all because you couldn't control yourself in making a horrible joke! PITY BE TO YOUR FAMILY, BLAATSCHAPEN, PITY COUPLED WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT JUSTICE HAS BEEN SERVED! THAT COMEDY HAS BEEN AVENGED! THAT I HAVE GONE ON A RANT AND NO LONGER HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE I AM GOING WITH THIS, BUT DAMN IT, I AM GOING SOMEWHERE! PITY TO YOUR SOUL, BLAAT, BUT KNOW THIS! KNOW THAT YOU GOT WHAT YOU DESERVED! "EVERYDAY I'M SHOVELIN'" INDEED! YOU ARE SHOVELING THE DOG-SHIT OUT OF YOUR SINK WHILE THE HOBGOBLINS SPREAD COFFEE BEANS ALL OVER YOUR KITCHEN FLOOR AND SPILL HYDROCHLORIC ACID ALL OVER THEM! AND WHILE THIS HAPPENS AND YOUR BRaAN SLOWLY BUT SURELY CONVERTS TO JELLO PUDDING, REMEMBER THAT YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED ALL OF THIS HAD YOU HAD THE WILLPOWER TO RESIST MAKING A BAD JOKE! REMEMBER THAT YOU MADE ME DO THIS! REMEMBER AND PLEAD FOR THE MERCY THAT YOU KNOW WILL NEVER COME!



...I lost it a bit there... anyhow, funny joke.

[The Nuclear Fist]

And would this fictional bureaucrat take bribes..? If he existed.

Well, in this theoretical Cabal-led NWO, this theoretical petty bureaucrat wouldn't be able to take bribes, as these theoretical human shovels wouldn't able to bribe anyone, because they theoretically wouldn't be paid. But if they, theoretically, managed to bribe a petty bureaucrat and were discovered, they would theoretically be horribly tortured and theoretically sodomized with their own limbs, theoretically, before being placed back into their theoretical position of theoretical 'human shovel'. Although I suppose there would always, theoretically, be a position open in the theoretical Department of Human-based Centipede research, theoretically.

[FoxTropica]

Everyday I'm shovelin'

...No.

For this joke, the fury of a thousand rabid and horny honey badgers will be cast upon you and your descendants for eleven and a half generations. Each morning, you and the inheritors of your curse will awake to blistering bee-stings and the bizarre smell of wood-rot, boiled whiskey, and the residue of a million million innocent souls being processed by the End-Machine. When you try to shower, in place of water, Diet Vanilla Cherry Dr. Pepper will rain down from the faucet. But it will never hit you. No, it will hit the arthritic and incredibly senile Murder-Koalas that now live in your shower. This will drive them into a maddened rage in which they will eat eat your left ankle. You will emerge from the shower and try to go to work, only to be mauled by a wild Charlie Sheen. You will try to go to the hospital, when your wounds will magically heal themselves. Relieved, you will try to go eat breakfast at McDonald's, only to find that is already 11:00 AM and you are too late! And all because you couldn't control yourself in make a horrible joke! PITY BE TO YOUR FAMILY, BLAATSPECHEN, PITY COUPLED WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT JUSTICE HAS BEEN SERVED! THAT COMEDY HAS BEEN AVENGED! THAT I HAVE GONE ON A RANT AND NO LONGER HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE I AM GOING WITH THIS, BUT DAMN IT, I AM GOING SOMEWHERE! PITY TO YOUR SOUL, BLAAT, BUT KNOW THIS! KNOW THAT YOU GOT WHAT YOU DESERVED! "EVERYDAY I'M SHOVELIN'" INDEED! YOU ARE SHOVELING THE DOG-SHIT OUT OF YOUR SINK WHILE THE HOBGOBLINS SPREAD COFFEE BEANS ALL OVER YOUR KITCHEN FLOOR AND SPILL HYDROCHLORIC ACID ALL OVER THEM! AND WHILE THIS HAPPENS AND YOUR BRaIN SLOWLY BUT SURELY CONVERTS TO JELLO PUDDING, REMEMBER THAT YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED ALL OF THIS HAD YOU HAD THE WILLPOWER TO RESIST MAKING A BAD JOKE! REMEMBER THAT YOU MADE ME DO THIS! REMEMBER AND PLEAD FOR THE MERCY THAT YOU KNOW WILL NEVER COME!



...I lost it a bit there... anyhow, funny joke.

I'm really sorry but.......My brain just goes Tl;Dr

Strange, being as i tend to make a lot of TL;DR Posts......

[FoxTropica]

And would this fictional bureaucrat take bribes..? If he existed.

Well, in this theoretical Cabal-led NWO, this theoretical petty bureaucrat wouldn't be able to take bribes, as these theoretical human shovels wouldn't able to bribe anyone, because they theoretically wouldn't be paid. But if they, theoretically, managed to bribe a petty bureaucrat and were discovered, they would theoretically be horribly tortured and theoretically sodomized with their own limbs, theoretically, before being placed back into their theoretical position of theoretical 'human shovel'. Although I suppose there would always, theoretically, be a position open in the theoretical Department of Human-based Centipede research, theoretically.

I'm a fox......

Also, Would this theoretical Department need any paperwork done? ..... just....maybe?

[The Blaatschapen]

...No.

For this joke, the fury of a thousand rabid and horny honey badgers will be cast upon you and your descendants for eleven and a half generations. Each morning, you and the inheritors of your curse will awake to blistering bee-stings and the bizarre smell of wood-rot, boiled whiskey, and the residue of a million million innocent souls being processed by the End-Machine. When you try to shower, in place of water, Diet Vanilla Cherry Dr. Pepper will rain down from the faucet. But it will never hit you. No, it will hit the arthritic and incredibly senile Murder-Koalas that now live in your shower. This will drive them into a maddened rage in which they will eat eat your left ankle. You will emerge from the shower and try to go to work, only to be mauled by a wild Charlie Sheen. You will try to go to the hospital, when your wounds will magically heal themselves. Relieved, you will try to go eat breakfast at McDonald's, only to find that is already 11:00 AM and you are too late! And all because you couldn't control yourself in make a horrible joke! PITY BE TO YOUR FAMILY, BLAATSPECHEN, PITY COUPLED WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT JUSTICE HAS BEEN SERVED! THAT COMEDY HAS BEEN AVENGED! THAT I HAVE GONE ON A RANT AND NO LONGER HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE I AM GOING WITH THIS, BUT DAMN IT, I AM GOING SOMEWHERE! PITY TO YOUR SOUL, BLAAT, BUT KNOW THIS! KNOW THAT YOU GOT WHAT YOU DESERVED! "EVERYDAY I'M SHOVELIN'" INDEED! YOU ARE SHOVELING THE DOG-SHIT OUT OF YOUR SINK WHILE THE HOBGOBLINS SPREAD COFFEE BEANS ALL OVER YOUR KITCHEN FLOOR AND SPILL HYDROCHLORIC ACID ALL OVER THEM! AND WHILE THIS HAPPENS AND YOUR BRaIN SLOWLY BUT SURELY CONVERTS TO JELLO PUDDING, REMEMBER THAT YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED ALL OF THIS HAD YOU HAD THE WILLPOWER TO RESIST MAKING A BAD JOKE! REMEMBER THAT YOU MADE ME DO THIS! REMEMBER AND PLEAD FOR THE MERCY THAT YOU KNOW WILL NEVER COME!



...I lost it a bit there... anyhow, funny joke.

I'm really sorry but.......My brain just goes Tl;Dr

Strange, being as i tend to make a lot of TL;DR Posts......

tl;dr (for both posts)

[New East Ireland]

...No.

For this joke, the fury of a thousand rabid and horny honey badgers will be cast upon you and your descendants for eleven and a half generations. Each morning, you and the inheritors of your curse will awake to blistering bee-stings and the bizarre smell of wood-rot, boiled whiskey, and the residue of a million million innocent souls being processed by the End-Machine. When you try to shower, in place of water, Diet Vanilla Cherry Dr. Pepper will rain down from the faucet. But it will never hit you. No, it will hit the arthritic and incredibly senile Murder-Koalas that now live in your shower. This will drive them into a maddened rage in which they will eat your left ankle. You will emerge from the shower and try to go to work, only to be mauled by a wild Charlie Sheen. You will try to go to the hospital, when your wounds will magically heal themselves. Relieved, you will try to go eat breakfast at McDonald's, only to find that is already 11:00 AM and you are too late! And all because you couldn't control yourself in make a horrible joke! PITY BE TO YOUR FAMILY, BLAATSPECHEN, PITY COUPLED WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT JUSTICE HAS BEEN SERVED! THAT COMEDY HAS BEEN AVENGED! THAT I HAVE GONE ON A RANT AND NO LONGER HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE I AM GOING WITH THIS, BUT DAMN IT, I AM GOING SOMEWHERE! PITY TO YOUR SOUL, BLAAT, BUT KNOW THIS! KNOW THAT YOU GOT WHAT YOU DESERVED! "EVERYDAY I'M SHOVELIN'" INDEED! YOU ARE SHOVELING THE DOG-SHIT OUT OF YOUR SINK WHILE THE HOBGOBLINS SPREAD COFFEE BEANS ALL OVER YOUR KITCHEN FLOOR AND SPILL HYDROCHLORIC ACID ALL OVER THEM! AND WHILE THIS HAPPENS AND YOUR BRaIN SLOWLY BUT SURELY CONVERTS TO JELLO PUDDING, REMEMBER THAT YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED ALL OF THIS HAD YOU HAD THE WILLPOWER TO RESIST MAKING A BAD JOKE! REMEMBER THAT YOU MADE ME DO THIS! REMEMBER AND PLEAD FOR THE MERCY THAT YOU KNOW WILL NEVER COME!



...I lost it a bit there... anyhow, funny joke.

*sips coffee*

... I'm Batman.

[Alexlantis]

Everyday I'm shovelin'

...No.

For this joke, the fury of a thousand rabid and horny honey badgers will be cast upon you and your descendants for eleven and a half generations. Each morning, you and the inheritors of your curse will awake to blistering bee-stings and the bizarre smell of wood-rot, boiled whiskey, and the residue of a million million innocent souls being processed by the End-Machine. When you try to shower, in place of water, Diet Vanilla Cherry Dr. Pepper will rain down from the faucet. But it will never hit you. No, it will hit the arthritic and incredibly senile Murder-Koalas that now live in your shower. This will drive them into a maddened rage in which they will eat your left ankle. You will emerge from the shower and try to go to work, only to be mauled by a wild Charlie Sheen. You will try to go to the hospital, when your wounds will magically heal themselves. Relieved, you will try to go eat breakfast at McDonald's, only to find that is already 11:00 AM and you are too late! And all because you couldn't control yourself in make a horrible joke! PITY BE TO YOUR FAMILY, BLAATSPECHEN, PITY COUPLED WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT JUSTICE HAS BEEN SERVED! THAT COMEDY HAS BEEN AVENGED! THAT I HAVE GONE ON A RANT AND NO LONGER HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE I AM GOING WITH THIS, BUT DAMN IT, I AM GOING SOMEWHERE! PITY TO YOUR SOUL, BLAAT, BUT KNOW THIS! KNOW THAT YOU GOT WHAT YOU DESERVED! "EVERYDAY I'M SHOVELIN'" INDEED! YOU ARE SHOVELING THE DOG-SHIT OUT OF YOUR SINK WHILE THE HOBGOBLINS SPREAD COFFEE BEANS ALL OVER YOUR KITCHEN FLOOR AND SPILL HYDROCHLORIC ACID ALL OVER THEM! AND WHILE THIS HAPPENS AND YOUR BRaIN SLOWLY BUT SURELY CONVERTS TO JELLO PUDDING, REMEMBER THAT YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED ALL OF THIS HAD YOU HAD THE WILLPOWER TO RESIST MAKING A BAD JOKE! REMEMBER THAT YOU MADE ME DO THIS! REMEMBER AND PLEAD FOR THE MERCY THAT YOU KNOW WILL NEVER COME!



...I lost it a bit there... anyhow, funny joke.

[Esternial]

Everyday I'm shovelin'

...No.

For this joke, the fury of a thousand rabid and horny honey badgers will be cast upon you and your descendants for eleven and a half generations. Each morning, you and the inheritors of your curse will awake to blistering bee-stings and the bizarre smell of wood-rot, boiled whiskey, and the residue of a million million innocent souls being processed by the End-Machine. When you try to shower, in place of water, Diet Vanilla Cherry Dr. Pepper will rain down from the faucet. But it will never hit you. No, it will hit the arthritic and incredibly senile Murder-Koalas that now live in your shower. This will drive them into a maddened rage in which they will eat your left ankle. You will emerge from the shower and try to go to work, only to be mauled by a wild Charlie Sheen. You will try to go to the hospital, when your wounds will magically heal themselves. Relieved, you will try to go eat breakfast at McDonald's, only to find that is already 11:00 AM and you are too late! And all because you couldn't control yourself in make a horrible joke! PITY BE TO YOUR FAMILY, BLAATSPECHEN, PITY COUPLED WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT JUSTICE HAS BEEN SERVED! THAT COMEDY HAS BEEN AVENGED! THAT I HAVE GONE ON A RANT AND NO LONGER HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE I AM GOING WITH THIS, BUT DAMN IT, I AM GOING SOMEWHERE! PITY TO YOUR SOUL, BLAAT, BUT KNOW THIS! KNOW THAT YOU GOT WHAT YOU DESERVED! "EVERYDAY I'M SHOVELIN'" INDEED! YOU ARE SHOVELING THE DOG-SHIT OUT OF YOUR SINK WHILE THE HOBGOBLINS SPREAD COFFEE BEANS ALL OVER YOUR KITCHEN FLOOR AND SPILL HYDROCHLORIC ACID ALL OVER THEM! AND WHILE THIS HAPPENS AND YOUR BRaIN SLOWLY BUT SURELY CONVERTS TO JELLO PUDDING, REMEMBER THAT YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED ALL OF THIS HAD YOU HAD THE WILLPOWER TO RESIST MAKING A BAD JOKE! REMEMBER THAT YOU MADE ME DO THIS! REMEMBER AND PLEAD FOR THE MERCY THAT YOU KNOW WILL NEVER COME!



...I lost it a bit there... anyhow, funny joke.

Of all the crazy people here on NS, you really take the cake.

[Nationstatelandsville]

I'm really sorry but.......My brain just goes Tl;Dr

Strange, being as i tend to make a lot of TL;DR Posts......

tl;dr (for both posts)

Oh, read it. I put a lot of effort in that rant.

[The Nuclear Fist]

I'm a fox......

Also, Would this theoretical Department need any paperwork done? ..... just....maybe?

Theoretically, no. But it would, theoretically, need test subjects. The work wouldn't, theoretically, be terribly hard, but it would, theoretically, leave a bad taste in your mouth.