Game Mod Olympics: Electric Boogaloo
Posted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 7:25 pm
Excitement built to fever pitch when word went out that the Game Mod Olympics would be held in a brand new stadium. The Jolterdome had served admirably over many past events, but what, the people wondered, what amazing new structure would they come up with now?
And as they file in to their seats, patrons gasp! It's beautiful! It's sleek! It's gray and green! And, to certain old-timers, it bears an uncanny resemblance to the original, pre-Jolterdome stadium, which had an unfortunate tendency to collapse under heavy use, killing everyone inside! But most patrons are too young to recall such things. And besides, officials have assured everyone that this stadium has been built to the same exacting standards as other buildings throughout the World Assembly and indeed the greater NS Universe! The old-timers quietly begin gathering their belongings and sidling toward the exits.
But who cares about architecture! Here come the athletes! Katganistan, reigning Olympic champion, leads the pack into the arena, and why not!? She's the one to beat. Look at her, glistening with oil, as she runs lightly around the track! And Frisbeeteria! Some claimed he lost his mind after his shock defeat by Katganistan at the last Olympics, but they sure weren't saying that after Fris made a hat from their skin! More big names: Scolopendra! The Most Glorious Hack! Euroslavia! New kid on the block, Ardchoille! Reploid Productions! Look at her, tottering in to the stadium: she may be so old that she's only kept alive by machines, but she's here to play! And Melkor Unchained! He's so ancient that the only explanation for his continued existence is that he has been played over the generations by a series of sons!
The athletes take their positions. A hush falls over the crowd, until the only sound is the gentle creaking of stadium bolts easing free from their welds.
--- World Assembly Cheat Checks ---
2348 : Katganistan
903 : Frisbeeteria
384 : Reploid Productions
105 : Sirocco
94 : Euroslavia
29 : Scolopendra
18 : Melkor Unchained
13 : SalusaSecondus
8 : The Most Glorious Hack
2 : [violet]
--- World Assembly Proposals Removed ---
1003 : Frisbeeteria
457 : Ardchoille
133 : The Most Glorious Hack
53 : Sirocco
21 : Katganistan
5 : Scolopendra
4 : Reploid Productions
3 : Euroslavia
1 : Pythagosaurus
--- World Assembly Warnings Issued ---
528 : Katganistan
185 : Frisbeeteria
29 : Reploid Productions
6 : Euroslavia
5 : Scolopendra
2 : Ardchoille
1 : [violet]
1 : The Most Glorious Hack
1 : Melkor Unchained
--- World Assembly Ejections ---
58 : Frisbeeteria
32 : Katganistan
Katganistan bursts out of the blocks! Before her competitors have finished the first lap of the WA Cheat Checks, Katganistan is relaxing in the stands with a sports drink and a nice book! What a way to assert her authority!
Stung into action, though, Frisbeeteria powers ahead in one of his favorite events: deleting people's stuff! Kat gets him back in WA Warnings, but again Fris responds in the WA Ejections! The crowd lean forward on the edge of their seats, causing alarming cracks to run up the stadium walls! We have a competition!
Frisbeeteria: 2 gold, 2 silver
Katganistan: 2 gold, 1 silver
Ardchoille: 1 silver
Reploid Productions: 2 bronze
The Most Glorious Hack: 1 bronze
As we move on to the Life & Death events, spectators take the opportunity to visit the bathroom and secure dubious-looking hot dogs. Everyone knows how these ones go! Fris always wins the Deletions, and Kat the Resurrections!
--- Nations Deleted ---
1565 : Katganistan
755 : Frisbeeteria
192 : Euroslavia
152 : Sirocco
100 : Scolopendra
99 : Reploid Productions
62 : Ardchoille
52 : Melkor Unchained
16 : The Most Glorious Hack
14 : [violet]
6 : Tsaraine
2 : Pythagosaurus
2 : SalusaSecondus
--- Nations Restored ---
151 : Katganistan
30 : Frisbeeteria
28 : Euroslavia
7 : [violet]
1 : Reploid Productions
1 : The Most Glorious Hack
1 : Sirocco
Wait! Wait! Spectators rush back to their seats, causing the Northern Stand to collapse in an ear-splitting imposion of bone and cement! But there's no time for that now! Katganistan has beaten Fris in his trademark event! Let's check the standings!
Katganistan: 4 gold, 1 silver
Frisbeeteria: 2 gold, 4 silver
Ardchoille: 1 silver
Reploid Productions: 2 bronze
Euroslavia: 2 bronze
The Most Glorious Hack: 1 bronze
Frisbeeteria stares at nothing as his colleagues sympathize. "It's all right," they tell him. "You'll kill more nations next time." But Fris doesn't respond. Even after the arena empties for the day, he's still there. It's getting a little creepy.
But now on to the new day!
--- Issues Accepted ---
39 : Sirocco
1 : Reploid Productions
--- Telegrams Sent ---
3747 : Katganistan
1950 : Frisbeeteria
436 : Ardchoille
298 : Sirocco
99 : Reploid Productions
75 : Euroslavia
62 : Scolopendra
28 : The Most Glorious Hack
18 : [violet]
15 : Tsaraine
13 : Melkor Unchained
10 : SalusaSecondus
1 : Pythagosaurus
--- Warnings Issued ---
5112 : Katganistan
2110 : Frisbeeteria
395 : Sirocco
344 : Ardchoille
279 : Euroslavia
265 : Reploid Productions
145 : Scolopendra
63 : Melkor Unchained
39 : The Most Glorious Hack
15 : Tsaraine
4 : [violet]
4 : SalusaSecondus
1 : Pythagosaurus
As expected, Sirocco grows to four times his normal height to crush all comers in the Issues Accepted event! We really need to figure out how he does that. Kat smashes them in Telegrams and Warnings, although Frisbeeteria offers some competition! Look at him, he's holding his silver medals aloft and crowing! He's... he's claiming they're gold! An official is attempting to suggest otherwise... oh! Fris has deleted him! Yes! Yes, Frisbeeteria, they are gold!
Katganistan: 6 gold, 1 silver
Frisbeeteria: 2 gold, 6 silver-like golds
Sirocco: 1 gold, 1 bronze
Reploid Productions: 1 silver, 2 bronze
Ardchoille: 1 silver, 1 bronze
Euroslavia: 2 bronze
The Most Glorious Hack: 1 bronze
Now for the real heavy-duty events! Can Katganistan continue her run?
--- Watchlist Modifications ---
856 : Katganistan
255 : Frisbeeteria
29 : Melkor Unchained
23 : Scolopendra
14 : Reploid Productions
10 : Pythagosaurus
9 : Ardchoille
5 : Euroslavia
4 : The Most Glorious Hack
4 : Sirocco
3 : [violet]
--- Help Requests Processed ---
7965 : Katganistan
2551 : Frisbeeteria
757 : Sirocco
357 : Reploid Productions
238 : Scolopendra
141 : Euroslavia
122 : Ardchoille
103 : Melkor Unchained
37 : [violet]
37 : The Most Glorious Hack
23 : Tsaraine
23 : SalusaSecondus
9 : Pythagosaurus
--- Help Requests Resolved ---
6034 : Katganistan
1803 : Frisbeeteria
374 : Sirocco
145 : Reploid Productions
100 : Euroslavia
93 : Scolopendra
83 : Ardchoille
29 : [violet]
26 : Melkor Unchained
22 : Tsaraine
9 : SalusaSecondus
4 : Pythagosaurus
3 : The Most Glorious Hack
It's gold, gold, gold, for Kat, Kat, Kat! And... and Frisbeeteria is stripping off and rubbing his silver medals over his naked body! One thing's for sure: this is a gold-class psychotic break! What a great Game Mod Olympics!
And now the final!
--- All Moderator Actions ---
58695 : Katganistan
25919 : Frisbeeteria
7733 : Sirocco
3992 : Reploid Productions
2568 : Ardchoille
2279 : Euroslavia
1585 : Scolopendra
772 : Melkor Unchained
602 : The Most Glorious Hack
501 : [violet]
345 : SalusaSecondus
290 : Pythagosaurus
264 : Tsaraine
1 : Karmabaijan
Katganistan sweeps it! Look at those numbers! It's an incredible performance in this endurance event, and with 10 gold medals overall, a record-equalling performance in Game Mod Olympics history!
Katganistan: 10 gold, 1 silver, 0 bronze (last time: 8-3-1)
Frisbeeteria: 2 gold, 10 silver-like golds (4-8-0)
Sirocco: 1 gold, 4 bronze (1-0-0)
Reploid Productions: 1 silver, 2 bronze (0-0-0)
Ardchoille: 1 silver, 1 bronze (Did Not Compete)
Melkor Unchained: 1 silver (0-0-0)
Euroslavia: 2 bronze (0-1-1)
The Most Glorious Hack: 1 bronze (0-2-0)
But don't forget Frisbeeteria! And you can't, because he's running in and out of the stands, swinging his haul of 12 medals! You have to agree that's an amazing feat no matter which color they are, or how much counselling he'll require afterward!
And look at crowd favorite Sirocco! In addition to the gold medla he always picks up for Issues, he's grabbed himself four bronzes! And isn't it great to see Reploid Productions back in the medals! She may be senile, but can still swing a big sword when it counts! Plus a great performance for newcomer Ardchoille! Definitely one to watch for the future!
The crowd is rushing on to the arena! I'm not sure if they want to congratulate the athletes or escape the stands, which are now collapsing in a cascade, but either way it's uplifting!
Since March 2008, there have been 105,546 game moderator actions performed and 12,365 player and automated requests. Thank you and congratulations to all our mods!
--------------
Edit: Scandal! Reploid Productions lodges a protest about the clearly tampered-with results from the World Assembly Ejections event... and, sure enough, the footage shows that match-fixing Olympics officials staged it with vaguely life-like mannequins while the real athletes competed elsewhere! The true results:
--- World Assembly Ejections ---
866 : Katganistan
433 : Frisbeeteria
74 : Reploid Productions
73 : Sirocco
39 : Euroslavia
10 : Scolopendra
4 : Ardchoille
... and the adjusted medal tally:
Katganistan: 11 gold, 0 silver, 0 bronze (last time: 8-3-1)
Frisbeeteria: 1 gold, 11 silver-like golds (4-8-0)
Sirocco: 1 gold, 4 bronze (1-0-0)
Reploid Productions: 1 silver, 3 bronze (0-0-0)
Ardchoille: 1 silver, 1 bronze (Did Not Compete)
Melkor Unchained: 1 silver (0-0-0)
Euroslavia: 2 bronze (0-1-1)
The Most Glorious Hack: 1 bronze (0-2-0)
--------------
Edit 2: Further scandal! Sirocco politely observes that the "Nations Restored" numbers are way down. There's no footage of what happened this time, but I think we can all agree that Kat probably restored about another thousand nations in there.
And as they file in to their seats, patrons gasp! It's beautiful! It's sleek! It's gray and green! And, to certain old-timers, it bears an uncanny resemblance to the original, pre-Jolterdome stadium, which had an unfortunate tendency to collapse under heavy use, killing everyone inside! But most patrons are too young to recall such things. And besides, officials have assured everyone that this stadium has been built to the same exacting standards as other buildings throughout the World Assembly and indeed the greater NS Universe! The old-timers quietly begin gathering their belongings and sidling toward the exits.
But who cares about architecture! Here come the athletes! Katganistan, reigning Olympic champion, leads the pack into the arena, and why not!? She's the one to beat. Look at her, glistening with oil, as she runs lightly around the track! And Frisbeeteria! Some claimed he lost his mind after his shock defeat by Katganistan at the last Olympics, but they sure weren't saying that after Fris made a hat from their skin! More big names: Scolopendra! The Most Glorious Hack! Euroslavia! New kid on the block, Ardchoille! Reploid Productions! Look at her, tottering in to the stadium: she may be so old that she's only kept alive by machines, but she's here to play! And Melkor Unchained! He's so ancient that the only explanation for his continued existence is that he has been played over the generations by a series of sons!
The athletes take their positions. A hush falls over the crowd, until the only sound is the gentle creaking of stadium bolts easing free from their welds.
--- World Assembly Cheat Checks ---
2348 : Katganistan
903 : Frisbeeteria
384 : Reploid Productions
105 : Sirocco
94 : Euroslavia
29 : Scolopendra
18 : Melkor Unchained
13 : SalusaSecondus
8 : The Most Glorious Hack
2 : [violet]
--- World Assembly Proposals Removed ---
1003 : Frisbeeteria
457 : Ardchoille
133 : The Most Glorious Hack
53 : Sirocco
21 : Katganistan
5 : Scolopendra
4 : Reploid Productions
3 : Euroslavia
1 : Pythagosaurus
--- World Assembly Warnings Issued ---
528 : Katganistan
185 : Frisbeeteria
29 : Reploid Productions
6 : Euroslavia
5 : Scolopendra
2 : Ardchoille
1 : [violet]
1 : The Most Glorious Hack
1 : Melkor Unchained
--- World Assembly Ejections ---
58 : Frisbeeteria
32 : Katganistan
Katganistan bursts out of the blocks! Before her competitors have finished the first lap of the WA Cheat Checks, Katganistan is relaxing in the stands with a sports drink and a nice book! What a way to assert her authority!
Stung into action, though, Frisbeeteria powers ahead in one of his favorite events: deleting people's stuff! Kat gets him back in WA Warnings, but again Fris responds in the WA Ejections! The crowd lean forward on the edge of their seats, causing alarming cracks to run up the stadium walls! We have a competition!
Frisbeeteria: 2 gold, 2 silver
Katganistan: 2 gold, 1 silver
Ardchoille: 1 silver
Reploid Productions: 2 bronze
The Most Glorious Hack: 1 bronze
As we move on to the Life & Death events, spectators take the opportunity to visit the bathroom and secure dubious-looking hot dogs. Everyone knows how these ones go! Fris always wins the Deletions, and Kat the Resurrections!
--- Nations Deleted ---
1565 : Katganistan
755 : Frisbeeteria
192 : Euroslavia
152 : Sirocco
100 : Scolopendra
99 : Reploid Productions
62 : Ardchoille
52 : Melkor Unchained
16 : The Most Glorious Hack
14 : [violet]
6 : Tsaraine
2 : Pythagosaurus
2 : SalusaSecondus
--- Nations Restored ---
151 : Katganistan
30 : Frisbeeteria
28 : Euroslavia
7 : [violet]
1 : Reploid Productions
1 : The Most Glorious Hack
1 : Sirocco
Wait! Wait! Spectators rush back to their seats, causing the Northern Stand to collapse in an ear-splitting imposion of bone and cement! But there's no time for that now! Katganistan has beaten Fris in his trademark event! Let's check the standings!
Katganistan: 4 gold, 1 silver
Frisbeeteria: 2 gold, 4 silver
Ardchoille: 1 silver
Reploid Productions: 2 bronze
Euroslavia: 2 bronze
The Most Glorious Hack: 1 bronze
Frisbeeteria stares at nothing as his colleagues sympathize. "It's all right," they tell him. "You'll kill more nations next time." But Fris doesn't respond. Even after the arena empties for the day, he's still there. It's getting a little creepy.
But now on to the new day!
--- Issues Accepted ---
39 : Sirocco
1 : Reploid Productions
--- Telegrams Sent ---
3747 : Katganistan
1950 : Frisbeeteria
436 : Ardchoille
298 : Sirocco
99 : Reploid Productions
75 : Euroslavia
62 : Scolopendra
28 : The Most Glorious Hack
18 : [violet]
15 : Tsaraine
13 : Melkor Unchained
10 : SalusaSecondus
1 : Pythagosaurus
--- Warnings Issued ---
5112 : Katganistan
2110 : Frisbeeteria
395 : Sirocco
344 : Ardchoille
279 : Euroslavia
265 : Reploid Productions
145 : Scolopendra
63 : Melkor Unchained
39 : The Most Glorious Hack
15 : Tsaraine
4 : [violet]
4 : SalusaSecondus
1 : Pythagosaurus
As expected, Sirocco grows to four times his normal height to crush all comers in the Issues Accepted event! We really need to figure out how he does that. Kat smashes them in Telegrams and Warnings, although Frisbeeteria offers some competition! Look at him, he's holding his silver medals aloft and crowing! He's... he's claiming they're gold! An official is attempting to suggest otherwise... oh! Fris has deleted him! Yes! Yes, Frisbeeteria, they are gold!
Katganistan: 6 gold, 1 silver
Frisbeeteria: 2 gold, 6 silver-like golds
Sirocco: 1 gold, 1 bronze
Reploid Productions: 1 silver, 2 bronze
Ardchoille: 1 silver, 1 bronze
Euroslavia: 2 bronze
The Most Glorious Hack: 1 bronze
Now for the real heavy-duty events! Can Katganistan continue her run?
--- Watchlist Modifications ---
856 : Katganistan
255 : Frisbeeteria
29 : Melkor Unchained
23 : Scolopendra
14 : Reploid Productions
10 : Pythagosaurus
9 : Ardchoille
5 : Euroslavia
4 : The Most Glorious Hack
4 : Sirocco
3 : [violet]
--- Help Requests Processed ---
7965 : Katganistan
2551 : Frisbeeteria
757 : Sirocco
357 : Reploid Productions
238 : Scolopendra
141 : Euroslavia
122 : Ardchoille
103 : Melkor Unchained
37 : [violet]
37 : The Most Glorious Hack
23 : Tsaraine
23 : SalusaSecondus
9 : Pythagosaurus
--- Help Requests Resolved ---
6034 : Katganistan
1803 : Frisbeeteria
374 : Sirocco
145 : Reploid Productions
100 : Euroslavia
93 : Scolopendra
83 : Ardchoille
29 : [violet]
26 : Melkor Unchained
22 : Tsaraine
9 : SalusaSecondus
4 : Pythagosaurus
3 : The Most Glorious Hack
It's gold, gold, gold, for Kat, Kat, Kat! And... and Frisbeeteria is stripping off and rubbing his silver medals over his naked body! One thing's for sure: this is a gold-class psychotic break! What a great Game Mod Olympics!
And now the final!
--- All Moderator Actions ---
58695 : Katganistan
25919 : Frisbeeteria
7733 : Sirocco
3992 : Reploid Productions
2568 : Ardchoille
2279 : Euroslavia
1585 : Scolopendra
772 : Melkor Unchained
602 : The Most Glorious Hack
501 : [violet]
345 : SalusaSecondus
290 : Pythagosaurus
264 : Tsaraine
1 : Karmabaijan
Katganistan sweeps it! Look at those numbers! It's an incredible performance in this endurance event, and with 10 gold medals overall, a record-equalling performance in Game Mod Olympics history!
Katganistan: 10 gold, 1 silver, 0 bronze (last time: 8-3-1)
Frisbeeteria: 2 gold, 10 silver-like golds (4-8-0)
Sirocco: 1 gold, 4 bronze (1-0-0)
Reploid Productions: 1 silver, 2 bronze (0-0-0)
Ardchoille: 1 silver, 1 bronze (Did Not Compete)
Melkor Unchained: 1 silver (0-0-0)
Euroslavia: 2 bronze (0-1-1)
The Most Glorious Hack: 1 bronze (0-2-0)
But don't forget Frisbeeteria! And you can't, because he's running in and out of the stands, swinging his haul of 12 medals! You have to agree that's an amazing feat no matter which color they are, or how much counselling he'll require afterward!
And look at crowd favorite Sirocco! In addition to the gold medla he always picks up for Issues, he's grabbed himself four bronzes! And isn't it great to see Reploid Productions back in the medals! She may be senile, but can still swing a big sword when it counts! Plus a great performance for newcomer Ardchoille! Definitely one to watch for the future!
The crowd is rushing on to the arena! I'm not sure if they want to congratulate the athletes or escape the stands, which are now collapsing in a cascade, but either way it's uplifting!
Since March 2008, there have been 105,546 game moderator actions performed and 12,365 player and automated requests. Thank you and congratulations to all our mods!
--------------
Edit: Scandal! Reploid Productions lodges a protest about the clearly tampered-with results from the World Assembly Ejections event... and, sure enough, the footage shows that match-fixing Olympics officials staged it with vaguely life-like mannequins while the real athletes competed elsewhere! The true results:
--- World Assembly Ejections ---
866 : Katganistan
433 : Frisbeeteria
74 : Reploid Productions
73 : Sirocco
39 : Euroslavia
10 : Scolopendra
4 : Ardchoille
... and the adjusted medal tally:
Katganistan: 11 gold, 0 silver, 0 bronze (last time: 8-3-1)
Frisbeeteria: 1 gold, 11 silver-like golds (4-8-0)
Sirocco: 1 gold, 4 bronze (1-0-0)
Reploid Productions: 1 silver, 3 bronze (0-0-0)
Ardchoille: 1 silver, 1 bronze (Did Not Compete)
Melkor Unchained: 1 silver (0-0-0)
Euroslavia: 2 bronze (0-1-1)
The Most Glorious Hack: 1 bronze (0-2-0)
--------------
Edit 2: Further scandal! Sirocco politely observes that the "Nations Restored" numbers are way down. There's no footage of what happened this time, but I think we can all agree that Kat probably restored about another thousand nations in there.