Writing Discussion

[Nerotysia]

6 soldiers are traveling secretly through enemy territory. One rapes another. 2 want to punish the rapist, the other 2 are more concerned about keeping him to finish the mission, while the raped soldier is confused and grieving, as she had fallen in love with her rapist and was in a relationship with him already and had even had sex with him.

Writers, what happens?

I find a good exercise for writers is to give them premises like these and then see what they come up with to see what kind of writer they are and on what level they are.

This is far too restrictive for my liking. You already have an entire story there, how much more is there to add? You already have a conflict and the backbones of some characters. Unless you want us to actually write a complete story based on this premise, there's not much to do I'm afraid.

This in addition to all of the other problems mentioned. It was a neat idea, I guess. Just try being less specific.

[Vancon]

6 soldiers are traveling secretly through enemy territory. One rapes another. 2 want to punish the rapist, the other 2 are more concerned about keeping him to finish the mission, while the raped soldier is confused and grieving, as she had fallen in love with her rapist and was in a relationship with him already and had even had sex with him.

Writers, what happens?

I find a good exercise for writers is to give them premises like these and then see what they come up with to see what kind of writer they are and on what level they are.

I'd write something, but I don't know how important the mission is nor how far they are from friendly territory. If they can, they should just go back and get a replacement. If they are too far away then need to keep pushing on, as long as the mission is vital.

[Nazi Flower Power]

6 soldiers are traveling secretly through enemy territory. One rapes another. 2 want to punish the rapist, the other 2 are more concerned about keeping him to finish the mission, while the raped soldier is confused and grieving, as she had fallen in love with her rapist and was in a relationship with him already and had even had sex with him.

Writers, what happens?

I find a good exercise for writers is to give them premises like these and then see what they come up with to see what kind of writer they are and on what level they are.

Too much is predetermined and the topic is waaaaaaaaaay too heavy for a simple exercise.

The topic would be fine for an exercise if there was more freedom in how it was handled. The problem is being told what everyone's reactions are. It doesn't allow you to explore the topic in your own way.

[Nerotysia]

Too much is predetermined and the topic is waaaaaaaaaay too heavy for a simple exercise.

The topic would be fine for an exercise if there was more freedom in how it was handled. The problem is being told what everyone's reactions are. It doesn't allow you to explore the topic in your own way.

Perhaps if he had shortened it to;

"A soldier is raped behind enemy lines by a fellow soldier"

It gives you a premise, and a framework for a conflict. Thoughts?

[Conserative Morality]

Perhaps if he had shortened it to;

"A soldier is raped behind enemy lines by a fellow soldier"

It gives you a premise, and a framework for a conflict. Thoughts?

He cradled the rifle in his hands. It made him feel safe again, feel secure. What had he lost?

"C'mon," He said "You aren't a real man until you've had a go at it. Look, it won't take more than a few minutes. We got a few minutes."

He protested. He struggled. And he relented. What could he do? At what point was a blade or a gun the response he wanted, the response he needed? If he screamed, would he have stopped? Or would every guerrilla for miles around have come running to butcher them?

He looked at his sleeping form. Head tucked against his shoulder, as if nothing concerned him. Nothing concerned him. He didn't do anything wrong, not in his own estimation. It wasn't even an... incident worth remembering.

Maybe he had it right. Maybe it wasn't. His hands were shaking and unsteady with the sheer force of his grip.

An officer's uniform emerged from the doorway, and seeing him still awake, motioned for him to follow her outside of the makeshift barracks.

She wasn't much older than him. Just a lieutenant's pips on her shoulder. Young, and bored doing grunt work at O dark thirty. "Specialist Yurich, just a formality, we need your report on the operation." A report. A report. What was there to report? What happened out there, in the middle of enemy territory? Were there any violations of protocol? Any disruption of the unit's cohesion as a whole? He bit his tongue and his eyes darted to the side. The lieutenant had a spike of interest at his reticence. "Specialist Yurich? Is something the matter?"

He took a breath, deep within his chest, and let it out slowly, silently. Silently... "Just nerves. Our objective was completed without incident, ma'am. Nothing to report."

[Zeinbrad]

6 soldiers are traveling secretly through enemy territory. One rapes another. 2 want to punish the rapist, the other 2 are more concerned about keeping him to finish the mission, while the raped soldier is confused and grieving, as she had fallen in love with her rapist and was in a relationship with him already and had even had sex with him.

Writers, what happens?

I find a good exercise for writers is to give them premises like these and then see what they come up with to see what kind of writer they are and on what level they are.

How did you get access to my google drive?

[Vozt Yurkova]

6 soldiers are traveling secretly through enemy territory. One rapes another. 2 want to punish the rapist, the other 2 are more concerned about keeping him to finish the mission, while the raped soldier is confused and grieving, as she had fallen in love with her rapist and was in a relationship with him already and had even had sex with him.

Writers, what happens?

I find a good exercise for writers is to give them premises like these and then see what they come up with to see what kind of writer they are and on what level they are.

I'd write something, but I don't know how important the mission is nor how far they are from friendly territory. If they can, they should just go back and get a replacement. If they are too far away then need to keep pushing on, as long as the mission is vital.

I think the point is to fill in those kind of blanks yourself. It's a prompt.

[Xeng He]

6 soldiers are traveling secretly through enemy territory. One rapes another. 2 want to punish the rapist, the other 2 are more concerned about keeping him to finish the mission, while the raped soldier is confused and grieving, as she had fallen in love with her rapist and was in a relationship with him already and had even had sex with him.

Writers, what happens?

I find a good exercise for writers is to give them premises like these and then see what they come up with to see what kind of writer they are and on what level they are.

Do you want the actual written out version or a summary?

[The New World Oceania]

I'd write something, but I don't know how important the mission is nor how far they are from friendly territory. If they can, they should just go back and get a replacement. If they are too far away then need to keep pushing on, as long as the mission is vital.

I think the point is to fill in those kind of blanks yourself. It's a prompt.

Albeit not a very good one. It has soldiers in a situation they belong, much more a moral dilemma in a book of aphorisms than a story start. Perhaps it's an idea for someone who wants to write it, but a professor telling her grad students to write something so specific would suddenly find an empty classroom before her.

[Nazi Flower Power]

The topic would be fine for an exercise if there was more freedom in how it was handled. The problem is being told what everyone's reactions are. It doesn't allow you to explore the topic in your own way.

Perhaps if he had shortened it to;

"A soldier is raped behind enemy lines by a fellow soldier"

It gives you a premise, and a framework for a conflict. Thoughts?

It's better, but it still has more limited usefulness than Bont's prompt about describing your room. When Bont posted that, it wasn't even intended as a prompt for the whole thread, but it just sort of drew people in and got them writing. This, you can do something with it, but it doesn't suck you in and make you want to write the same way as Bont's did. I guess I kind of see what Laerod was getting at. It depends what you're trying to accomplish with the prompt. If you want to see how people handle emotionally intense subject matter, then it works. If you're just getting started with a writing course, you should probably start with something else.

[The Rich Port]

These were all great points and I will take them into consideration (I've been kinda tutoring some people on writing, hence the prompt), save for two...

Perhaps if he had shortened it to;

"A soldier is raped behind enemy lines by a fellow soldier"

It gives you a premise, and a framework for a conflict. Thoughts?

He cradled the rifle in his hands. It made him feel safe again, feel secure. What had he lost?

"C'mon," He said "You aren't a real man until you've had a go at it. Look, it won't take more than a few minutes. We got a few minutes."

He protested. He struggled. And he relented. What could he do? At what point was a blade or a gun the response he wanted, the response he needed? If he screamed, would he have stopped? Or would every guerrilla for miles around have come running to butcher them?

He looked at his sleeping form. Head tucked against his shoulder, as if nothing concerned him. Nothing concerned him. He didn't do anything wrong, not in his own estimation. It wasn't even an... incident worth remembering.

Maybe he had it right. Maybe it wasn't. His hands were shaking and unsteady with the sheer force of his grip.

An officer's uniform emerged from the doorway, and seeing him still awake, motioned for him to follow her outside of the makeshift barracks.

She wasn't much older than him. Just a lieutenant's pips on her shoulder. Young, and bored doing grunt work at O dark thirty. "Specialist Yurich, just a formality, we need your report on the operation." A report. A report. What was there to report? What happened out there, in the middle of enemy territory? Were there any violations of protocol? Any disruption of the unit's cohesion as a whole? He bit his tongue and his eyes darted to the side. The lieutenant had a spike of interest at his reticence. "Specialist Yurich? Is something the matter?"

He took a breath, deep within his chest, and let it out slowly, silently. Silently... "Just nerves. Our objective was completed without incident, ma'am. Nothing to report."

Speaking of contrived...

I think the point is to fill in those kind of blanks yourself. It's a prompt.

Albeit not a very good one. It has soldiers in a situation they belong, much more a moral dilemma in a book of aphorisms than a story start. Perhaps it's an idea for someone who wants to write it, but a professor telling her grad students to write something so specific would suddenly find an empty classroom before her.

... Are you implying soldiers rape regularly, or that putting them in a battlefield situation is cliched? I would rather prefer the latter.

Writers enjoy a challenge, even the beginning ones; a writer can be poor in skill and still relate a story that has impact if they're authentic and involved.

I remember reading the crappy prompts in my creative writing textbook and finding them impossible to relate to, to the point I inevitably deviated from what the prompt was asking me for... And even then, it was up to interpretation.

[Nazi Flower Power]

These were all great points and I will take them into consideration (I've been kinda tutoring some people on writing, hence the prompt), save for two...

He cradled the rifle in his hands. It made him feel safe again, feel secure. What had he lost?

"C'mon," He said "You aren't a real man until you've had a go at it. Look, it won't take more than a few minutes. We got a few minutes."

He protested. He struggled. And he relented. What could he do? At what point was a blade or a gun the response he wanted, the response he needed? If he screamed, would he have stopped? Or would every guerrilla for miles around have come running to butcher them?

He looked at his sleeping form. Head tucked against his shoulder, as if nothing concerned him. Nothing concerned him. He didn't do anything wrong, not in his own estimation. It wasn't even an... incident worth remembering.

Maybe he had it right. Maybe it wasn't. His hands were shaking and unsteady with the sheer force of his grip.

An officer's uniform emerged from the doorway, and seeing him still awake, motioned for him to follow her outside of the makeshift barracks.

She wasn't much older than him. Just a lieutenant's pips on her shoulder. Young, and bored doing grunt work at O dark thirty. "Specialist Yurich, just a formality, we need your report on the operation." A report. A report. What was there to report? What happened out there, in the middle of enemy territory? Were there any violations of protocol? Any disruption of the unit's cohesion as a whole? He bit his tongue and his eyes darted to the side. The lieutenant had a spike of interest at his reticence. "Specialist Yurich? Is something the matter?"

He took a breath, deep within his chest, and let it out slowly, silently. Silently... "Just nerves. Our objective was completed without incident, ma'am. Nothing to report."

Speaking of contrived...

It might be a little unclear if you showed it to someone without the prompt, but it's not any more contrived than your original prompt was.

[Xeng He]

I just want to cut in by saying that I actually liked the prompt, and will probably attempt to rewrite the thing I'd begun for it that the computer lost. ( )

However, I'm currently posting about something else, more specifically a race list I've begun for this story/RP I'm making, with the premise being essentially a "dreamworld" type place that's based off of our world, but with story tropes and allegory thrown in.

So!

The Archeverse

It’s a world literally composed of human dreams, thoughts, and ideas. Of Zeitgeist. And there are shapes that Zeitgeist typically takes in the nations and peoples of these worlds. Such forms include:

Wolves
Long ago, these beings were considered nothing but mindless beasts, but they’ve since then developed intelligence, society (loosely held though it is) and even a degree of morality. Or at least, a few of them have, for many others have reported that wolves continue to slaver for flesh at the outskirts of their towns. So which mold fits them better? Well, the truth goes something like this: No wolf is born with such qualities as morality and intellect, but by receiving the holy teachings of Occulus and Libra, they can become such. However, it’s possible for a wolf to learn Occulus without learning Libra, and these wolves are some of the most dangerous.

The Blind

These beings are defined almost by their culture, rather than their race—the blindness they possess is not inherited, but rather inflicted in a ritual. It’s viewed as cruel by many, but the Blind see it as a means of purging evil from their society—by making everyone see only as their God sees things, they’ll remove the desire to do so at the source. This doesn’t always work, but it has helped some people, perhaps. They will blind others they view as a threat, also, so be warned.

The Tech-Children

When the Virus initially appeared, it created a good many improvements in the beings it infected—for these were generally people of fairly strong will, or those who were aided by such beings. However, the more recent batches have begun to lose that edge, becoming through sensory and social ineptitude unable to function very well beyond The Network, a web through which all things electronic are connected, including Tech-children. However, the newer batches are especially valuable at the same time, for their ability to access and manipulate the Network and things therein is already proving especially strong. In America, the older ones are currently supplying everyone but the Wolves with their advancements, with the Blind, ironically, being the biggest buyers.


Humans

Trying to hold on against the zealotry of the Blind, the ravenousness of the unenlightened Wolves, and the ravages of the Virus is hard work for the humans of the Archeverse, but they’ve almost always managed to get by. Generally speaking, Humans are found in settlements between the Wolves and Blind, at least here in America, and are divided into two groups—Aristocrats and commoners. The nature of this division tends to vary quite a bit from place to place, but in America recently the line has become much more blurry thanks to a successful revolution against the Old Guard. Wolves that have developed both Occulus and Libra are welcome among humans now, as well, in spite of a long history of hostility—this is mainly the result of Lupine assistance, and the assistance of one heroic Wolf in particular—in the earlier revolution.

There's one more race I haven't detailed yet called The Aware, that will be factoring in prominently in the story I intend to create, but...enh. I did a lot of writing already.

[Nazi Flower Power]

I just want to cut in by saying that I actually liked the prompt, and will probably attempt to rewrite the thing I'd begun for it that the computer lost. ( )

It doesn't bother you that there's a really weak female character dumped in the middle of a military operation for no discernible reason and that these soldiers are all too fucking dumb to consider the possibility of finishing the mission first and having the rapist court martialed after? IRL, there would be no dilemma about punishing the rapist OR having him to finish the mission. They'd do both.

Even if the soldiers weren't all in agreement, military missions aren't democracies. One person is in command, so it still wouldn't take long to settle.

You could maybe do something with it if the rapist is the commanding officer and this is just the last straw in a long line of abuses of power, so some of the others decide to mutiny, but it's not a good prompt when most of the prompt is talking about rape and the only way I can think of to turn it into a decent story is to write something that's not really about the rape. (I originally wasn't sure if it was possible to get a good story out of it at all, but in the process of writing this rant, I kind of stumbled on this idea and realized it might work.)

[Xeng He]

It doesn't bother you that there's a really weak female character dumped in the middle of a military operation for no discernible reason

You think that rape only happens to the weak?

I mean, for all you know the entire rest of the unit, including the rapist, could be female as well, so if you're worried about it from a feminist standpoint there's also that, but...of quicker relevance is the first point.

and that these soldiers are all too fucking dumb to consider the possibility of finishing the mission first and having the rapist court martialed after? IRL, there would be no dilemma about punishing the rapist OR having him to finish the mission. They'd do both.

Emotions get high in a situation like that, some people might not want to wait for the court-martial. Especially if the rapist is a soldier on-loan from another country, for instance, that punishes its troops rather lightly (compared to this country). Or we're in a situation where a testimony from the victim is required, and she won't necessarily give it.

I could go on.

Even if the soldiers weren't all in agreement, military missions aren't democracies. One person is in command, so it still wouldn't take long to settle.

Not necessarily. In my planned write-up, for instance, there'd be a breakout of physical violence. To re-establish control in that situation wouldn't just involve pulling rank.

You could maybe do something with it if the rapist is the commanding officer and this is just the last straw in a long line of abuses of power, so some of the others decide to mutiny, but it's not a good prompt when most of the prompt is talking about rape and the only way I can think of to turn it into a decent story is to write something that's not really about the rape. (I originally wasn't sure if it was possible to get a good story out of it at all, but in the process of writing this rant, I kind of stumbled on this idea and realized it might work.)

I offered some other suggestions.

[The Rich Port]

These were all great points and I will take them into consideration (I've been kinda tutoring some people on writing, hence the prompt), save for two...



Speaking of contrived...

It might be a little unclear if you showed it to someone without the prompt, but it's not any more contrived than your original prompt was.

That's what I meant.

I just want to cut in by saying that I actually liked the prompt, and will probably attempt to rewrite the thing I'd begun for it that the computer lost. ( )

It doesn't bother you that there's a really weak female character dumped in the middle of a military operation for no discernible reason and that these soldiers are all too fucking dumb to consider the possibility of finishing the mission first and having the rapist court martialed after? IRL, there would be no dilemma about punishing the rapist OR having him to finish the mission. They'd do both.

Even if the soldiers weren't all in agreement, military missions aren't democracies. One person is in command, so it still wouldn't take long to settle.

You could maybe do something with it if the rapist is the commanding officer and this is just the last straw in a long line of abuses of power, so some of the others decide to mutiny, but it's not a good prompt when most of the prompt is talking about rape and the only way I can think of to turn it into a decent story is to write something that's not really about the rape. (I originally wasn't sure if it was possible to get a good story out of it at all, but in the process of writing this rant, I kind of stumbled on this idea and realized it might work.)

I dunno if you're at all familiar with behavior analysis and social dynamics, but... There would usually be a serious problem with a rape victim serving alongside their rapist.

In fact, there's a whole movement in our military right now to end that kind of neglect and abuse.

[Nazi Flower Power]

It doesn't bother you that there's a really weak female character dumped in the middle of a military operation for no discernible reason

You think that rape only happens to the weak?

I think she's the only character that doesn't have an opinion of her own.

I offered some other suggestions.

Yeah, make the situation more contrived than it already was or have people acting even more idiotic and unprofessional than the prompt already made them.

[Nazi Flower Power]

It might be a little unclear if you showed it to someone without the prompt, but it's not any more contrived than your original prompt was.

That's what I meant.

It doesn't bother you that there's a really weak female character dumped in the middle of a military operation for no discernible reason and that these soldiers are all too fucking dumb to consider the possibility of finishing the mission first and having the rapist court martialed after? IRL, there would be no dilemma about punishing the rapist OR having him to finish the mission. They'd do both.

Even if the soldiers weren't all in agreement, military missions aren't democracies. One person is in command, so it still wouldn't take long to settle.

You could maybe do something with it if the rapist is the commanding officer and this is just the last straw in a long line of abuses of power, so some of the others decide to mutiny, but it's not a good prompt when most of the prompt is talking about rape and the only way I can think of to turn it into a decent story is to write something that's not really about the rape. (I originally wasn't sure if it was possible to get a good story out of it at all, but in the process of writing this rant, I kind of stumbled on this idea and realized it might work.)

I dunno if you're at all familiar with behavior analysis and social dynamics, but... There would usually be a serious problem with a rape victim serving alongside their rapist.

In fact, there's a whole movement in our military right now to end that kind of neglect and abuse.

You can't really fix that on the spot behind enemy lines. Did I say they were going to just leave them in the same unit permanently and not do anything about it? No.

[The Rich Port]

That's what I meant.



I dunno if you're at all familiar with behavior analysis and social dynamics, but... There would usually be a serious problem with a rape victim serving alongside their rapist.

In fact, there's a whole movement in our military right now to end that kind of neglect and abuse.

You can't really fix that on the spot behind enemy lines. Did I say they were going to just leave them in the same unit permanently and not do anything about it? No.

Maybe, and right, but leaving him in the unit would probably risk not just the psychological health of the other person, but the integrity of the unit as a whole.

What if the guy catches on to the fact he's probably going to be court-martialed when they get back and defect or desert, possibly betraying the unit's mission? Who's to say he isn't done yet and realizes he's in a good position to take advantage of the unit's vulnerability?

Shit, what's to say the victim won't just shoot him the first chance he gets at an inopportune time?

Someone called it right that it would make for a good exploration of an author's handling of difficult situations. It's a personal exploration as well.

[The New World Oceania]

I just want to cut in by saying that I actually liked the prompt, and will probably attempt to rewrite the thing I'd begun for it that the computer lost. ( )

It doesn't bother you that there's a really weak female character

Gender was never specified in the prompt, and I in fact have pictured it the entire time as a male soldier raping a male soldier. If your conceptualization of it as a poor prompt is based exclusively on the practical matters of rape, you'd be limited in your perceptions of gendered issues. Your other points on how it might be resolved, however, I can understand.

I mean, for all you know the entire rest of the unit, including the rapist, could be female as well, so if you're worried about it from a feminist standpoint there's also that, but...of quicker relevance is the first point.

Feminist criticism extends significantly beyond just the rudimentary dynamics of women being oppressed. A feminist standpoint wouldn't be so much focused on the victim or perpetrator so much as the hierarchies and coercion at play, if not outright looking into radical gender studies to consider the situation.

I dunno if you're at all familiar with behavior analysis and social dynamics, but... There would usually be a serious problem with a rape victim serving alongside their rapist.

In fact, there's a whole movement in our military right now to end that kind of neglect and abuse.

It's awful, honestly. Rarely can it be stated that I had to turn off CSPAN because the Senate hearings were becoming too emotionally discomforting.

[Conserative Morality]

Gender was never specified in the prompt, and I in fact have pictured it the entire time as a male soldier raping a male soldier. If your conceptualization of it as a poor prompt is based exclusively on the practical matters of rape, you'd be limited in your perceptions of gendered issues. Your other points on how it might be resolved, however, I can understand.

6 soldiers are traveling secretly through enemy territory. One rapes another. 2 want to punish the rapist, the other 2 are more concerned about keeping him to finish the mission, while the raped soldier is confused and grieving, as she had fallen in love with her rapist and was in a relationship with him already and had even had sex with him.

[The Rich Port]

Gender was never specified in the prompt, and I in fact have pictured it the entire time as a male soldier raping a male soldier. If your conceptualization of it as a poor prompt is based exclusively on the practical matters of rape, you'd be limited in your perceptions of gendered issues. Your other points on how it might be resolved, however, I can understand.

6 soldiers are traveling secretly through enemy territory. One rapes another. 2 want to punish the rapist, the other 2 are more concerned about keeping him to finish the mission, while the raped soldier is confused and grieving, as she had fallen in love with her rapist and was in a relationship with him already and had even had sex with him.

The genders were meant to be left ambiguous.

Again, it's a sample I'm working on. :/

[Xeng He]

I think she's the only character that doesn't have an opinion of her own.

You think being conflicted or afflicted by Acute-stage Rape Trauma Syndrome only happens to the weak, then?

Yeah, make the situation more contrived than it already was or have people acting even more idiotic and unprofessional than the prompt already made them.

Your use of the word "contrived" in that sentence is technically true, but other than that ridiculous. Adding background to a situation does not poor writing make.

As for the idiotic and unprofessional thing...well, raping a fellow soldier is unprofessional. We're past the point where professionalism is relevant, and besides that, not all militaries have US level professionalism.

[The Rich Port]

I think she's the only character that doesn't have an opinion of her own.

You think being conflicted or afflicted by Acute-stage Rape Trauma Syndrome only happens to the weak, then?

Yeah, make the situation more contrived than it already was or have people acting even more idiotic and unprofessional than the prompt already made them.

Your use of the word "contrived" in that sentence is technically true, but other than that ridiculous. Adding background to a situation does not poor writing make.

As for the idiotic and unprofessional thing...well, raping a fellow soldier is unprofessional. We're past the point where professionalism is relevant, and besides that, not all militaries have US level professionalism.

And besides, I object to the implication this couldn't happen.

It has happened already, fer Crissakes. CM's sample, while done to death, is very realistic: they keep it bottled up, and that's what causes the problem of integrity and the horror in writers.

Speaking of metafiction... How often do you guys relate fictional events to your real ones?

My favorite example is Fun Home by Alison Bechdel. She plays around with perspective and agency in terms of literature. It isn't just her story; it's her father's story, her mother's story, her brothers' story.

[Xeng He]

And besides, I object to the implication this couldn't happen.

It has happened already, fer Crissakes. CM's sample, while done to death, is very realistic: they keep it bottled up, and that's what causes the problem of integrity and the horror in writers.

Speaking of metafiction... How often do you guys relate fictional events to your real ones?

My favorite example is Fun Home by Alison Bechdel. She plays around with perspective and agency in terms of literature. It isn't just her story; it's her father's story, her mother's story, her brothers' story.

I generally try to avoid writing myself. That said, I think there are certainly times "I" stood out in a character or someone a character knew.

...actually, what I sort of noticed some time ago is that many characters I create for RPs and things will often have formerly known someone that...doesn't necessarily resemble me, but I always think "myself" when I think of that person they formerly knew.

None of my characters are Mary Sues, but there's often a Sue hidden in their backstory.