Writing Discussion

[Nationstatelandsville]

Hi. I'm Nat. I write stories of any genre, typically of science fiction and high fantasy but I'm currently working on realistic fiction, with a light-hearted tone, packed with my nerdy little references, jokes, and quirks. I have a Writer's Oath, which I may or not be making up right now and plagiarizing from Green Lantern, that signifies my style:

In darkest text, in blandest or frilliest font
No trope nor cliche shall escape my sight
Let lampshades fall upon the tropes that daunt
Beware my power... narrator's plight!

[The Truth and Light]

I'm experiementing with prose intros. I need criticism. Anyone wanna?

First the legs; then the arms. Finally, the head. In this order, I watched from the chair I was tied to as my little sister ripped apart the appendages of my long-time teddy bear. She let out hyena-like laughs and giggles as I a watched the stuffing fall out of the torso and onto the hardwood floor. I was dripping with sweat. My entire body was itching, but I could not move. "How does it feel?" shrieked my sister in her pig-like voice. "How does it feel to see the thing you love most in pieces?"

This was my earliest childhood trauma.

[Alexlantis]

I'm experiementing with prose intros. I need criticism. Anyone wanna?

First the legs; then the arms. Finally, the head. In this order, I watched from the chair I was tied to as my little sister ripped apart the appendages of my long-time teddy bear. She let out hyena-like laughs and giggles as I a watched the stuffing fall out of the torso and onto the hardwood floor. I was dripping with sweat. My entire body was itching, but I could not move. "How does it feel?" shrieked my sister in her pig-like voice. "How does it feel to see the thing you love most in pieces?"

This was my earliest childhood trauma.

I wanna read more. Can't figure out much of what's going on, needs a bit more detail IMO, but that might just be stylistic.

[The Truth and Light]

I'm experiementing with prose intros. I need criticism. Anyone wanna?

I wanna read more. Can't figure out much of what's going on, needs a bit more detail IMO, but that might just be stylistic.

I kinda see what you mean. I had the whole scene in my head as I was writing, but I guess I didn't communicate it as effectively as possible.

[Nationstatelandsville]

I'm experiementing with prose intros. I need criticism. Anyone wanna?

First the legs; then the arms. Finally, the head. In this order, I watched from the chair I was tied to as my little sister ripped apart the appendages of my long-time teddy bear. She let out hyena-like laughs and giggles as I a watched the stuffing fall out of the torso and onto the hardwood floor. I was dripping with sweat. My entire body was itching, but I could not move. "How does it feel?" shrieked my sister in her pig-like voice. "How does it feel to see the thing you love most in pieces?"

This was my earliest childhood trauma.

...The fuck is going on in that girl's head?

[Alexlantis]

I'm experiementing with prose intros. I need criticism. Anyone wanna?

...The fuck is going on in that girl's head?

Normal people don't make for interesting reading unless they're freaking out.

[The Truth and Light]

I'm experiementing with prose intros. I need criticism. Anyone wanna?

...The fuck is going on in that girl's head?

The thing about first-person narrative is that it's very hard to be omniscient.

[The Truth and Light]

...The fuck is going on in that girl's head?

Normal people don't make for interesting reading unless they're freaking out.

So true.

[Astrolinium]

I'm experiementing with prose intros. I need criticism. Anyone wanna?

First the legs; then the arms. Finally, the head. In this order, I watched from the chair I was tied to as my little sister ripped apart the appendages of my long-time teddy bear. She let out hyena-like laughs and giggles as I a watched the stuffing fall out of the torso and onto the hardwood floor. I was dripping with sweat. My entire body was itching, but I could not move. "How does it feel?" shrieked my sister in her pig-like voice. "How does it feel to see the thing you love most in pieces?"

This was my earliest childhood trauma.

I want more, minus that errant letter "a".

...The fuck is going on in that girl's head?

The thing about first-person narrative is that it's very hard to be omniscient.

Not if the first person is the first person.

[Alexlantis]

The thing about first-person narrative is that it's very hard to be omniscient.

Not if the first person is the first person.

I have a feeling that if someone wrote the main character as God, then the main character would be trolling all of the time.

[The Truth and Light]

I'm experiementing with prose intros. I need criticism. Anyone wanna?

I want more, minus that errant letter "a".

The thing about first-person narrative is that it's very hard to be omniscient.

Not if the first person is the first person.

Everyone wants more, eh? Alas, I think this bit is the perfect length.

What definition of first person are you using?

[Nationstatelandsville]

...The fuck is going on in that girl's head?

The thing about first-person narrative is that it's very hard to be omniscient.

Not always.

Not if the first person is the first person.

I have a feeling that if someone wrote the main character as God, then the main character would be trolling all of the time.

I write the Narrator as a rogue god who fucks with his character's puny little heads. The main character often gets into arguments with him.

[Astrolinium]

I want more, minus that errant letter "a".



Not if the first person is the first person.

Everyone wants more, eh? Alas, I think this bit is the perfect length.

What definition of first person are you using?

The other first person in the universe anyone's written about that possesses omniscience: Santa Claus.

[The Truth and Light]

Everyone wants more, eh? Alas, I think this bit is the perfect length.

What definition of first person are you using?

The other first person in the universe anyone's written about that possesses omniscience: Santa Claus.

I'm an Aclausist.

[Nationstatelandsville]

The other first person in the universe anyone's written about that possesses omniscience: Santa Claus.

I'm an Aclausist.

You bastard servant of the Easter Bunny, get out!

[The Truth and Light]

Ah, this makes me want to start writing prose regularly.

[Nationstatelandsville]

Ah, this makes me want to start writing prose regularly.

Do it. Prose is funnererer than poetry.

[The Truth and Light]

Ah, this makes me want to start writing prose regularly.

Do it. Prose is funnererer than poetry.

What about drama though? Nobody seems to have mentioned writing plays or the like.

[Nationstatelandsville]

Do it. Prose is funnererer than poetry.

What about drama though? Nobody seems to have mentioned writing plays or the like.

Never. Again.

[Conserative Morality]

I'm experiementing with prose intros. I need criticism. Anyone wanna?

First the legs; then the arms. Finally, the head. In this order, I watched from the chair I was tied to as my little sister ripped apart the appendages of my long-time teddy bear. She let out hyena-like laughs and giggles as I a watched the stuffing fall out of the torso and onto the hardwood floor. I was dripping with sweat. My entire body was itching, but I could not move. "How does it feel?" shrieked my sister in her pig-like voice. "How does it feel to see the thing you love most in pieces?"

This was my earliest childhood trauma.

A pretty good intro. Minus the lost a. The description fits in nicely and creates a clear image without being distracting. The only problem I have is that 'shrieked my sister in her pig-like voice' sounds a little stunted. I think that's the only place where the description seems a bit heavy, 'in her pig-like voice' seems to tack on unnecessary detail due to the earlier hyena-like laughs that establish a high-pitched and grating tone. Or maybe it's because it's a second use of 'x-like' in a single paragraph. Maybe that's just me, though.

Even so, overall, an excellent introduction.

[Conserative Morality]

Normal people don't make for interesting reading unless they're freaking out.

Oh, I disagree. Normal people are the most interesting to write.

[The Truth and Light]

Normal people don't make for interesting reading unless they're freaking out.

Oh, I disagree. Normal people are the most interesting to write.

It depends on your setting, I suppose. I don't imagine myself wanting to read about the everyday life of a middle-class American; it sounds like torture.

[Nationstatelandsville]

Normal people don't make for interesting reading unless they're freaking out.

Oh, I disagree. Normal people are the most interesting to write.

Normal people are boring.

[Conserative Morality]

It depends on your setting, I suppose. I don't imagine myself wanting to read about the everyday life of a middle-class American; it sounds like torture.

I was speaking more as to characterization. >.>

[The Truth and Light]

It depends on your setting, I suppose. I don't imagine myself wanting to read about the everyday life of a middle-class American; it sounds like torture.

I was speaking more as to characterization. >.>

Then I am left still wondering how you characterize a personage to be "normal".