Elfen High: Don't Fear the Reaper (Arc 3)

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Crowley woke up. It was the weekend, and several students had already arrived at the school. He got off his bed, and put on his clothes, and looked into a mirror, shaving. It was 2041 already. Damn. 30 years had already passed since the discovery of the supernatural. Goddamn, he thought, aware of the irony in that statement, time flies.

He put away his razor, and then then went into his office. "You could have set up an appointment." he commented, seeing Alastor and Calliel sitting in the chairs in front of his desk.

Calliel spoke first. "This school is high-priority, as you know, and-"

"The nerd angel is trying to say that this school shouldn't be destroyed, transported to another Lucifer-dammed dimension, or anything other shit." Alastor cut in. "This school is pretty damned important, and we do not want stuff to happen to it. When things happen to this school, weird shit happens. Like an angel claiming to be God. Or the True Fae reemerging. Or Heavensgate Christmas Party 2027." Here Calliel shuddered and whimpered. The memories.. "Speaking of the True Fae," Alastor continued, "What have you learned?"

"Well, a reason why Morgan was so easy to beat. She was only half-True Fae. And I was hoping that we would have it as easy as we had it with her when the rest of the Fae showed up." Crowley grumbled. "And we had Excalibur, so that helped a shitload."

"Where is Excalibur?" Calliel asked.

"Not telling." Crowley replied. "Now, anything else?" he asked.

Calliel and Alastor shrugged. "Not really." they said in unison.

Crowley rubbed his temples, closing his eyes. "Good. Now let me get to my job-" He looked up, the angel and demon gone. "I hate it when they teleport like that." Crowley muttered.

[New East Ireland]

Malakh woke up in bed, lying next to James. He kisses James' cheek and silently got out of bed and searched through the dresser until he found clothes. He got dressed quickly, and slipped out of the master bedroom. He walked down the hallway until he reached the foyer, and went out onto the balcony.

He sighed and sat down on the railing. Things were a lot different since 12 years ago. Especially living in Damien's private mansion without Damien. Malakh sighed, and closed his eyes to concentrate. In the kitchen, a pot of coffee heated up without the coffee maker, poured the coffee into a cup, and the cup slowly made its way onto the balcony. Malakh grabbed it and took a sip.

I'm getting better at that, he thought. He took another sip. Hm. James' birthday is coming up. Glad he can't read minds. I got him the best present.

[Nationstatelandsville]

Lewis landed with a thud outside Elfen High, his car about three miles back. So he stole a car and forgot to refuel it before driving out to the school, it's not like anyone would miss it. Well... it was a muscle car and looked brand new, so it may have been expensive. Rather, it had looked brand new. While driving it, Lewis had crashed it six times, smashing up the hood, ripping off the bumper, breaking off the driver seat door, shattering both mirrors, and scratching the paint in nearly every place imaginable. The engine was also sort of on fire, like Lewis gave a shit.

Now, our horrendous driver, was Lewis Jameson, the new math teacher at Elfen High. He was relatively tall, just over 6 feet. His red hair hadn't been shaved since his last visit to Elfen High three months ago, so he now had sideburns and a considerable amount of scruff on his face, though not enough to call it a beard. This was coupled with his neatly trimmed handle bar mustache of course. He wore no shirt, exposing his very hairy arms and torso. He looked like the bastard son of Chewbaca and Carrot Top, with some Severus Snape thrown in for good measure. Not that he knew who those people were, he had been living in the mountains for God knows how long. On his ass, which thank the Lord was bare, he wore tight skinny jeans. Now, it wasn't that Lewis was fat, he sure as hell was old. He wore spurred cowboy boots that just screamed "Texan douchebag". Coupled with his boss hat, he looked like he was ready for the asshole rodeo. He bore on his face massive sunglasses with white frames, ones you'd only see on Elvis impersonators. Perhaps the biggest sign that he was a loser was the banjo strapped to his back. Yes, a banjo. His prized banjo. And he played it. A lot.

Lewis hobbled up to the school, resting on his walking stick. He worked his way in and realized he had no fucking idea what to do. To fix that, he approached Aleister's office.

"Crowley!" he called as he rapped his cane against the door.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Lewis landed with a thud outside Elfen High, his car about three miles back. So he stole a car and forgot to refuel it before driving out to the school, it's not like anyone would miss it. Well... it was a muscle car and looked brand new, so it may have been expensive. Rather, it had looked brand new. While driving it, Lewis had crashed it six times, smashing up the hood, ripping off the bumper, breaking off the driver seat door, shattering both mirrors, and scratching the paint in nearly every place imaginable. The engine was also sort of on fire, like Lewis gave a shit.

Now, our horrendous driver, was Lewis Jameson, the new math teacher at Elfen High. He was relatively tall, just over 6 feet. His red hair hadn't been shaved since his last visit to Elfen High three months ago, so he now had sideburns and a considerable amount of scruff on his face, though not enough to call it a beard. This was coupled with his neatly trimmed handle bar mustache of course. He wore no shirt, exposing his very hairy arms and torso. He looked like the bastard son of Chewbaca and Carrot Top, with some Severus Snape thrown in for good measure. Not that he knew who those people were, he had been living in the mountains for God knows how long. On his ass, which thank the Lord was bare, he wore tight skinny jeans. Now, it wasn't that Lewis was fat, he sure as hell was old. He wore spurred cowboy boots that just screamed "Texan douchebag". Coupled with his boss hat, he looked like he was ready for the asshole rodeo. He bore on his face massive sunglasses with white frames, ones you'd only see on Elvis impersonators. Perhaps the biggest sign that he was a loser was the banjo strapped to his back. Yes, a banjo. His prized banjo. And he played it. A lot.

Lewis hobbled up to the school, resting on his walking stick. He worked his way in and realized he had no fucking idea what to do. To fix that, he approached Aleister's office.

"Crowley!" he called as he rapped his cane against the door.

The door opened, swinging outward. though it generally swung inward, and whacked the Texan douchebag in the face. Crowley, sitting at his desk, looked up. "Yes?" he asked.

[Nationstatelandsville]

Lewis landed with a thud outside Elfen High, his car about three miles back. So he stole a car and forgot to refuel it before driving out to the school, it's not like anyone would miss it. Well... it was a muscle car and looked brand new, so it may have been expensive. Rather, it had looked brand new. While driving it, Lewis had crashed it six times, smashing up the hood, ripping off the bumper, breaking off the driver seat door, shattering both mirrors, and scratching the paint in nearly every place imaginable. The engine was also sort of on fire, like Lewis gave a shit.

Now, our horrendous driver, was Lewis Jameson, the new math teacher at Elfen High. He was relatively tall, just over 6 feet. His red hair hadn't been shaved since his last visit to Elfen High three months ago, so he now had sideburns and a considerable amount of scruff on his face, though not enough to call it a beard. This was coupled with his neatly trimmed handle bar mustache of course. He wore no shirt, exposing his very hairy arms and torso. He looked like the bastard son of Chewbaca and Carrot Top, with some Severus Snape thrown in for good measure. Not that he knew who those people were, he had been living in the mountains for God knows how long. On his ass, which thank the Lord was bare, he wore tight skinny jeans. Now, it wasn't that Lewis was fat, he sure as hell was old. He wore spurred cowboy boots that just screamed "Texan douchebag". Coupled with his boss hat, he looked like he was ready for the asshole rodeo. He bore on his face massive sunglasses with white frames, ones you'd only see on Elvis impersonators. Perhaps the biggest sign that he was a loser was the banjo strapped to his back. Yes, a banjo. His prized banjo. And he played it. A lot.

Lewis hobbled up to the school, resting on his walking stick. He worked his way in and realized he had no fucking idea what to do. To fix that, he approached Aleister's office.

"Crowley!" he called as he rapped his cane against the door.

The door opened, swinging outward. though it generally swung inward, and whacked the Texan douchebag in the face. Crowley, sitting at his desk, looked up. "Yes?" he asked.

Lewis rubbed his face and mumbled something about communist liberal doors trying to kill him and hobbled in. He looked at Crowley with a massive smile, revealing his grotesquely yellow teeth.

"Aleister!" he cried happily before running around the desk and pulling Crowley into a massive bear hug, effectively shoving his disgusting chest hair into the mage's face.

[Olthar]

As Nora walked through the halls, she contemplated the fact that this was her last year here at the infamous Elfen High, and for a moment, she was disappointed that nothing horrendously bad had happened during the past three years. She wanted to get involved in one of those "save the universe" plots that this school was so famous for since that would probably be hella fun.

In any event, her time here was already quite enjoyable, especially since the administration didn't seem to care if she whored her way through the school. Over these three years, she'd fucked almost the entire student body and even several teachers, many of them being unwilling to do so. Though there had been several attempts to have Nora arrested for her raping, they all failed spectacularly as she was defended by Mr. Crowley each time, since he was getting some on the side, too.

Wondering just what she should do for this last weekend before school started, she decided to go into the cafeteria to steal all of the lettuce before the chefs arrived.

[Nature-Spirits]

Baelvan woke up.
He shifted his clothes to those suitable for work and walked over to his brother. "Get up," he said.
Lafma stirred and Baelvan groaned. His brother could be so lazy at times.
He sat down and closed his eyes, going into a meditative state.
Suddenly he was staring at his body from outside of it. He was Astral Projecting.
He drifted over to Lafma and yelled, "Wake up!"
Lafma cried out and awoke, Baelvan returning to his body.
"We have to go to work to prepare for the coming school year," he said and walked out of the room, giving his brother some time to change.
When Lafma came out of the bedroom he found some vines holding a piece of toast out to him and he took it, joining his brother at the table while they ate.
Once they had finished eating Lafma grasped his brother's arm and they appeared in the hallway in Elfen High.

---

A taxicab arrived at Elfen High and a girl, brown-haired with blond highlights, tall, with a wonderfully sculpted face and body stepped out.
She carried her one small bag with her so there was no need to wait for the trunk to open, she simply paid the driver and walked into the school.
Unsure whether to go straight to her dorm or report to the principal, she decided that just to be safe (hopefully) she would report to the principal.
She wandered around for a bit until she arrived at his office. There she was surprised to see a shirtless hairy man and squealed in surprise.

[Ameriganastan]

A familiar looking, handsome young man strolled up to the school, an eyepatch over his right eye, his left one sporting an impressive shiner, and two girls who could be his twins following behind him. Laz sighed, remembering back to a few hours ago...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A few hours ago

"Its bad enough you agreed to let them go there, but you don't tell me until the last weekend before school?!"

Laz stood in front of his wife, angrily relaying his point at her.

"That place is insane. Dragons, vampires, time travel to Camelot, the food isn't that great. No. I'm sorry Sayuri, but I'm putting my foot down. Not a chance either one of them are going to Elfen High, and that's that."

A few moments later, he was tossed through the nearest wall, landing face first outside. The neighbors barely took notice. They'd gotten use to it after six years.

"Alright...they can go. But not because you kicked my ass...actually yeah, its because you kicked my ass."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"One of these days, I'm going to beat her in a fight. Just you wait."

The two girls following simply shook their heads.

Lazaria: "No you won't dad."
Sarana: "Everyone knows mom has all four of your balls in her purse."
Both: "Even us."

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

FUCKING REMOVED

[New East Ireland]

"That was a fun party. But our little 'after party' was better," Malakh replied. He kisses James, and tasted the coffee in his husband's mouth. He pulled away and smiled. "I've said this a million times before, but this is a great view, isn't it?"

---

"Kira! Breakfast!"

Kira awoke in her bedroom and tiredly sat up in her bed. The room was gothic, the way she liked it. She was wearing a football jersey and short shorts that squeezed her ass. She got out of bed and searched through the dresser until she found a nice black and purple shirt and tank top. She went down stairs and grabbed the toast that was lying on the table. "Morning mom," she said, in a usual grumpy tone.

"Kira, what did you do to your hair!?" her mom screamed, noticing that Kira's hair was now black with a red strip going through it, instead of light brown. Kira shrugged. "I was bored."

Her mom shook her head. "We'll talk about this another time. You have to get on the train."

Indeed, Kira needed to take a train ride to get to Elfen High, but it wouldn't take that long. Not long at all.

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

REMOVED

[New East Ireland]

Without a word, Malakh teleported just below James, and caught him in mid-fall. He floated in the air, holding James. "Holy shit. Are you ok James?"

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Crowley teleported back to his desk. "Good to see you, Lewis." he said, his expression heavily implying he was mentally thinking of other math teachers. "How was the ride here?" he asked, sitting down in his chair. A soft one, made of fabric imported from Asgard. Supposedly, Odin's chair was made of the exact same material.

[Nationstatelandsville]

Crowley teleported back to his desk. "Good to see you, Lewis." he said, his expression heavily implying he was mentally thinking of other math teachers. "How was the ride here?" he asked, sitting down in his chair. A soft one, made of fabric imported from Asgard. Supposedly, Odin's chair was made of the exact same material.

"Fiery and exploding," he responded, remembering when he accidentally shot the engine and caused it to explode. He couldn't use guns and never would. The self-proclaimed redneck ninja sighed and took a seat in front of Crowley's desk, regardless of whether or not the principal wanted him to. As far as he was concerned, the two were best friends. Yes, he was that deluded. What do you expect from a man who calls himself a redneck ninja?

"So," he began, twirling his mustache, "any news on the old math teacher? Did they uh... find his body?"

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Crowley teleported back to his desk. "Good to see you, Lewis." he said, his expression heavily implying he was mentally thinking of other math teachers. "How was the ride here?" he asked, sitting down in his chair. A soft one, made of fabric imported from Asgard. Supposedly, Odin's chair was made of the exact same material.

"Fiery and exploding," he responded, remembering when he accidentally shot the engine and caused it to explode. He couldn't use guns and never would. The self-proclaimed redneck ninja sighed and took a seat in front of Crowley's desk, regardless of whether or not the principal wanted him to. As far as he was concerned, the two were best friends. Yes, he was that deluded. What do you expect from a man who calls himself a redneck ninja?

"So," he began, twirling his mustache, "any news on the old math teacher? Did they uh... find his body?"

Crowley winced, remembering poor Rob Jones. A good teacher. He didn't deserve what he got. The BBC actually had a studio set up a mile from the school, so that they could be here to report quickly, as did CNN. Crowley was still looking around for the body, and suspected that Nora had something to do with Mr. Jones' disappearance. "Not a sign." he replied, wishing that the fiery and explosive ride here had taken out Lewis. Instead, Lewis was delivered in one piece. Damn it.

[Nationstatelandsville]

"Fiery and exploding," he responded, remembering when he accidentally shot the engine and caused it to explode. He couldn't use guns and never would. The self-proclaimed redneck ninja sighed and took a seat in front of Crowley's desk, regardless of whether or not the principal wanted him to. As far as he was concerned, the two were best friends. Yes, he was that deluded. What do you expect from a man who calls himself a redneck ninja?

"So," he began, twirling his mustache, "any news on the old math teacher? Did they uh... find his body?"

Crowley winced, remembering poor Rob Jones. A good teacher. He didn't deserve what he got. The BBC actually had a studio set up a mile from the school, so that they could be here to report quickly, as did CNN. Crowley was still looking around for the body, and suspected that Nora had something to do with Mr. Jones' disappearance. "Not a sign." he replied, wishing that the fiery and explosive ride here had taken out Lewis. Instead, Lewis was delivered in one piece. Damn it.

"That's too bad," Lewis said, remaining stoic. No one could tell if he had something to do with it, but he'd like if they thought he did. It was a good intimidation technique. In fact, Lewis wasn't sure if he did it. He was a heavy drinker and well... all he knew is that he woke up in the morning, mailing in a resume. A fake resume of course, but it was a damned good fake. Hell, Lewis Jameson wasn't even his real name. It was Steve Borkowitz. But Jameson sounded infinitely better then Borkowitz anyway, he had no qualms about dropping his old identity. After living in the mountains for so long, Steve Borkowitz was legally dead anyways.

"Erm... I'm going to need to know where my classroom is and where I'll be sleeping."

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Crowley winced, remembering poor Rob Jones. A good teacher. He didn't deserve what he got. The BBC actually had a studio set up a mile from the school, so that they could be here to report quickly, as did CNN. Crowley was still looking around for the body, and suspected that Nora had something to do with Mr. Jones' disappearance. "Not a sign." he replied, wishing that the fiery and explosive ride here had taken out Lewis. Instead, Lewis was delivered in one piece. Damn it.

"That's too bad," Lewis said, remaining stoic. No one could tell if he had something to do with it, but he'd like if they thought he did. It was a good intimidation technique. In fact, Lewis wasn't sure if he did it. He was a heavy drinker and well... all he knew is that he woke up in the morning, mailing in a resume. A fake resume of course, but it was a damned good fake. Hell, Lewis Jameson wasn't even his real name. It was Steve Borkowitz. But Jameson sounded infinitely better then Borkowitz anyway, he had no qualms about dropping his old identity. After living in the mountains for so long, Steve Borkowitz was legally dead anyways.

"Erm... I'm going to need to know where my classroom is and where I'll be sleeping."

"Room number 87." he said, throwing him a GPS. "The school is so damn big we've actually given these things out to the students and facility." he explained. Crowley went back to looking at his laptop, supposedly doing important business documents. He glanced up, seeing Lewis was still there. "You can leave now, Lewis." he said, mild irritation in his English accent.

When the math teacher left, Crowley went back to his calculations. "Let me see...in the past century, I've had sex around 47,568 times, give or take. That puts me at slightly above once a day." he said, content.

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

REMOVED

[New East Ireland]

"I'd say," Malakh said. He floated back up to the balcony, and set James down. "Now before you go tumbling to another death, I have a little surprise. Come with me," he said, as he grabbed James' hand and pulled him inside.

[Nature-Spirits]

"That's too bad," Lewis said, remaining stoic. No one could tell if he had something to do with it, but he'd like if they thought he did. It was a good intimidation technique. In fact, Lewis wasn't sure if he did it. He was a heavy drinker and well... all he knew is that he woke up in the morning, mailing in a resume. A fake resume of course, but it was a damned good fake. Hell, Lewis Jameson wasn't even his real name. It was Steve Borkowitz. But Jameson sounded infinitely better then Borkowitz anyway, he had no qualms about dropping his old identity. After living in the mountains for so long, Steve Borkowitz was legally dead anyways.

"Erm... I'm going to need to know where my classroom is and where I'll be sleeping."

"Room number 87." he said, throwing him a GPS. "The school is so damn big we've actually given these things out to the students and facility." he explained. Crowley went back to looking at his laptop, supposedly doing important business documents. He glanced up, seeing Lewis was still there. "You can leave now, Lewis." he said, mild irritation in his English accent.

When the math teacher left, Crowley went back to his calculations. "Let me see...in the past century, I've had sex around 47,568 times, give or take. That puts me at slightly above once a day." he said, content.

"Um... Hello," said Lesana, still standing in the doorway. "I'm wondering... What's the standard procedure for new students? Because I'm new, and, I'm just wondering, do I just pick a dorm room or should I report to you? And..." Lesana trailed off.

[Nationstatelandsville]

"That's too bad," Lewis said, remaining stoic. No one could tell if he had something to do with it, but he'd like if they thought he did. It was a good intimidation technique. In fact, Lewis wasn't sure if he did it. He was a heavy drinker and well... all he knew is that he woke up in the morning, mailing in a resume. A fake resume of course, but it was a damned good fake. Hell, Lewis Jameson wasn't even his real name. It was Steve Borkowitz. But Jameson sounded infinitely better then Borkowitz anyway, he had no qualms about dropping his old identity. After living in the mountains for so long, Steve Borkowitz was legally dead anyways.

"Erm... I'm going to need to know where my classroom is and where I'll be sleeping."

"Room number 87." he said, throwing him a GPS. "The school is so damn big we've actually given these things out to the students and facility." he explained. Crowley went back to looking at his laptop, supposedly doing important business documents. He glanced up, seeing Lewis was still there. "You can leave now, Lewis." he said, mild irritation in his English accent.

When the math teacher left, Crowley went back to his calculations. "Let me see...in the past century, I've had sex around 47,568 times, give or take. That puts me at slightly above once a day." he said, content.

Lewis had left, but barely caught what Crowley was saying.

"Bully for him!" he cried. Yes, he was that ignorant to how social situations that he cried out in joy when his friends had sex. He jogged off to his room happily, the biggest and dumbest grin you've ever seen on his face. It was like Fuzzy Lumpkins rolled around in red paint and snuffed a pound of LSD while injecting himself with booze. Try to erase that image from your mind.

Lewis soon found his way to his room and collapsed onto what he automatically claimed as his bed, completely ignorant to anyone else in the room, if there even were any. He whipped out his banjo, knocking a lampy off of a bedside table while doing so, and began to strum it.

"Oh, I'm a mathematics teacher
Never saw this in a million years, but whatever
I'm here at Elfen High
To mountains I say bye
I'm a teacher at this British school and I'm playing my banjo
I just found out that once a day, Alesteir Crowley bangs a ho!"

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Crowley blinked, and looked at his computer, opening a new tab and recovering quickly. "You didn't receive your papers? What's your name?" he asked. "And, err, how long were you standing there?" he asked, already ready to print out her papers after she told him her name. A quick memory charm could get rid of any unsavory memories. This is why Crowley had absolutely no memories of Heavensgate Christmas Party 2027.

[Nature-Spirits]

Crowley blinked, and looked at his computer, opening a new tab and recovering quickly. "You didn't receive your papers? What's your name?" he asked. "And, err, how long were you standing there?" he asked, already ready to print out her papers after she told him her name. A quick memory charm could get rid of any unsavory memories. This is why Crowley had absolutely no memories of Heavensgate Christmas Party 2027.

"I'm Lesana Hamarr, and I've been standing here since that weird hairy man was hugging you, sir," said Lesana. The principal's insane, great, she thought. Just what I need. "And no, I didn't receive my papers."

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Crowley blinked, and looked at his computer, opening a new tab and recovering quickly. "You didn't receive your papers? What's your name?" he asked. "And, err, how long were you standing there?" he asked, already ready to print out her papers after she told him her name. A quick memory charm could get rid of any unsavory memories. This is why Crowley had absolutely no memories of Heavensgate Christmas Party 2027.

"I'm Lesana Hamarr, and I've been standing here since that weird hairy man was hugging you, sir," said Lesana. The principal's insane, great, she thought. Just what I need. "And no, I didn't receive my papers."

He printed them out, and gave them to her. "All your information should be included here." he said. "Any other questions?" He looked briefly at an email he had just recieved. He'd open it when Lesana had left. Didn't want anyone seeing it, after all.

[Nature-Spirits]

"I'm Lesana Hamarr, and I've been standing here since that weird hairy man was hugging you, sir," said Lesana. The principal's insane, great, she thought. Just what I need. "And no, I didn't receive my papers."

He printed them out, and gave them to her. "All your information should be included here." he said. "Any other questions?" He looked briefly at an email he had just recieved. He'd open it when Lesana had left. Didn't want anyone seeing it, after all.

Lesana shook her head and walked to her dorm room.
What a strange man, she thought. Talking about sex like that. I wonder what my mother would think? Actually... she'd probably join him. After all, she did fuck a random guy and got pregnant. She was referring to her father, who she didn't know the identity of.
She arrived in her dorm and unpacked, which took a very short amount of time. She then laid down and had a nap.