Letters to a younger you

[Antilon]

What has become popular around where I live, my younger brothers yearbooks have a section where you can write a letter to your older self.

I really wish i had that when i was going there, we just had pictures and two pages for signatures however you spell it.

That's a really good idea. I'll suggest something like that to my yearbook committee. Maybe I'll even scan that page onto my PC and post it on NSG.

[Kostemetsia]

He's decent people, I can live with that confusion.

I am primarily a vocalist, with some percussion tinges.

As it happens, I'm a pianist and composer in need of a vocalist. ??? PROFIT!

Dear 13-year-old MOTHERFUCKING JIM,

You think your guardian is an asshole. He is, on the very occasional occasion. Learn to live with it. And he's amusing when he gets drunk (although when he drinks too much it goes from 'verbose Michael Caine amusing, vaguely deep' to, well, 'acting like you amusing').

You just got a new piano teacher. He's male, so you automatically assume he's an asshole. Don't do that shit - he's fully qualified, an excellent guy, and even now you still haven't got over your habit of assuming stuff. It pisses me off to no end, personally.

You're in high school. Approaching the end of eighth grade, if I remember correctly. You don't talk much to your science and maths teacher, while conversing entirely too much with your English and SOSE teacher. Reverse your priorities - the English teacher is still here now, while the science and maths teacher was, or by your time frame will be, transferred to Cairns at the end of 2008.

Speaking of which, the cute girl in your class? The one that's friends with the complete bitch? She doesn't hate you, which is cool. Problem is, she'll move to another school next year. Move immediately to contact her on MSN. Oh, and speaking of cute girls, there's one in your Access who you'll start noticing in early year ten. I'm not telling you who she is, but she's brilliant.

You feel like you're average in your music class - separate from your piano lessons. You're actually quite decent and will end up looking further at that. I'm not sure if music will become your life's work, but I like the way you roll. The guy and the girl you hang out with are damn pro, although you'll only ever get to see occasional glimpses of this.

You're bi. Deal with that and move on. Also, the people who claim you're imitating that other dude who kind of resembles you are talking shit - although you will grow an emo fringe in grade ten, and you'll be better off for it because that straight-edge haircut makes you look like a dick. Look into the two-shirt fashion vibe, too, although only in winter because you'll only ever have a black shirt for some reason.

GOOD LORD, DO NOT FUCKING EVER TRY TO WRITE A NOVEL.

This isn't an immediate concern, but the dark-haired endomorph meme fanatic and the carrot-topped gaijininja? Hang out with them more. From where I stand I'm becoming more and more aware that they are going to leave this place a year before I am, as will most of the people I hang around with - who are most of the people you will fall into the habit of hanging around with.

The trilby-wearer with the karate fetish? Sure, he dicks around, but he's smarter than you estimate him. You will learn things from him. However, he needs to stop dicking around when you're carrying your laptop, and you should make sure he knows this - somehow. You're not physically fit, and I'm not sure you ever will be - although don't lose hope, you might do better than me - so go through administration channels. His sister, by the way, is very, very wise and you should hang on her every word.

By the time you are as old as I, you will note that the newest crop of year eights are, as a rule, cute and female - although between you and me there is this one particular complete bitch who I think both of us will eventually end up confronting at the tops of our voices. Resist the urge to comment on this demographic trend unless you want to be seen as a creep (although I was aiming more for the harmless creep image, and it worked).

Eighties rock is not dead. Eighties pop is decent. 'My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama' will introduce you to a whole new world of musical craziness.

Peace, bro.

14-year-old MOTHERFUCKING JIM

[Czardas]

Dear Czardas,

In your last moments, you're probably wondering why I sent you an envelope full of VX nerve agent from the future. Well, see, doing so would create a quintessential time paradox, and I wanted to see if it would cause the universe to implode. If you're reading this now, of course, chances are good that the universe hasn't imploded, screwing over that particular theory. Well, that's it for now -- have a nice death.

[signed]
Czardas

[Intestinal fluids]

Dear Me 20 years ago.

Its all good, enjoy the ride.

From Me.

[Phenixica]

dear 14-17 self

Still move in with your father, but when he tells you he is moving to England take the offer to move to Perth then and there that way and yes I know your with bianca and she is your true love (blah blah) but you breakup just after you turn 19 and find out a few months later (aka few days ago) she banged another guy during that romantic getaway that you planned. Oh and you were in the next room asleep while he was over and banged her, but she wont mention that little piece of information when yo start flirting with other girls pretty much straight after your breakup.

Maybe actually don't go out with bianca at all, remember Carelle? that smoking hot piece of ass nerd chick. You don't know this now but she has a major crush on you during year 11 and it would be great to go out with her since you have stuff in common, I mean the chick spent a entire day doing nothing but watching Sci-Fi channel with you and she loved watching it and she loved talking about History. I mean only way she could of been more perfect is if she was a Nymphomaniac OH WAIT SHE WAS!!

Dad leaves halfway through year 12 to go to England and leaves you with nowhere to go, I know it's tough and you hate the place you have to stay in to try and finish school but don't let it crush your spirits. Your a really smart guy and could of done so much, now your doing shitty work while waiting to apply for mature age entry into University. Dont let Bianca pollute your mind making you think you were not good enough, she has no vision or aspirations she has no idea what she wants in life and is jealous that you do so she drags you down with her.

Tie and Vest look, it's perfect for you! Stop dressing like a bogon and start smartening yourself up because you look fantastic when you do, you have the perfect build to fill a suit properly and also cut the hair I know you like it down to your shoulders but in reality it just went with the bogon look.

oh and if you toke my first piece of advice, try and get together with Sean's sister. I know she is 5 years older but she is smart, fun and weird which is perfect for you instead of me who is too embarrassed because I think I am not good enough thanks to failing year 12 and all my plans being on hold while she is working towards her dreams as I write this.

Tell your Step-Dad Joe how much you appreciate all he has done for you the moment you get this letter and keep doing it, that man toke you in and treated you like his own and you never really showed respect for that. He is a much better father then your real father and it's sad that by the time you realized this you don't have the time to tell him that.

Yours Faithfully,

Your 19 year old self

EDIT: Oh and learn to play the dam Piano while you can, im getting annoyed that I cant play a instrument

[Krypton-Zod]

Dear 16 year old general Zod,

don't reject a date with the neighbour's neigbour's daughter when she askes you. Say yes because you will regret it for years. And don't lend anybody money that isn't family, you won't always get it back.

And bet all the money you can on the Broncos winning the superbowl 1998 as a wild card team.

thank you from the future

general Zod

[The Parthians]

Dear Parth from 4 years ago:

Buy Google call options, they're ten cents each. You'll make a cool $1.2 mil for each thousand you put in, so take the money you have and spend it, then flip it once the price hits $121 per option. Take half the earnings and put it in oil options, the price will peak at $140 in 2008. Otherwise, keep up the good work, oh, and stop caring about everyone else in high school, yes, you have two more years with everyone else, but you're going to go a lot further than that lot.

-Signed, you, in 2009.

[Soratsin]

Dear 15-year old Soratsin,

Drop the knife, you moron.

-Your future self.

[Antilon]

Dear 16 year old general Zod,
And don't lend anybody money that isn't family, you won't always get it back.

Funny, I always thought that only happened to me? I wish I could've put that in my letter...

[Great Imperium Romanum]

Dear Imperium,

Think less, live for the here and now. There's plenty of time for hindsight in the future.

[Her Royal Crown]

Dear Younger Me,

You're smarter than you think you are, so don't skimp out on the harder classes. And don't bother studying, you don't need it.
I would give you advice on how to make lots of money, but you know it isn't important.
Don't bother trying to see your dad, he's a dick.
Convince your mum to get rid of your step-dad the first time he messes up. Preferably before he makes your mum pregnant.
The Beatles rock, start listening to them.
Being Democratic is alright, but you actually lean more towards the other side.
Your not gay, so get rid of those doubts.
Spend less time on the computer, it will suck up your life and never let you out.
Shorts do not work for you, and neither does smiling. Don't bother with either.
Convince your mum that you do not need so many animals already.
Don't let your uncle help you move, he wrecks your desk.
Your uncle is a dick, convince your mum that his girlfriend is no good.
Don't bother with middle school, home-schooling helps you out more than it does.
High School is fun, don't worry about it.
You'll get horribly bored of video games, don't bother with them.
Help your relatives more, it'll help you in the long run.
Don't get in any fights, you'll always get your ass handed to you.
If you want to cut yourself, get a sharper knife.
Stop changing yourself to suit your friends, your personality will thank you later.
Your attention span is tiny, never start something that will take more than a couple of hours to finish.
You cannot do anything you plan on, be spontaneous.
While telling the truth about people to their faces is admirable, keeping it to yourself demonstrates better willpower.
Your memory sucks, write down anything you need to do and don't worry about the blanks.
And finally, reread this letter as you get older so it doesn't get out of your mind.

Sincerely, Your Future Self.

[Voltairian Prospects]

Dear Younger Me,

You're smarter than you think you are, so don't skimp out on the harder classes. And don't bother studying, you don't need it.
I would give you advice on how to make lots of money, but you know it isn't important.
Don't bother trying to see your dad, he's a dick.
Convince your mum to get rid of your step-dad the first time he messes up. Preferably before he makes your mum pregnant.
The Beatles rock, start listening to them.
Being Democratic is alright, but you actually lean more towards the other side.
Your not gay, so get rid of those doubts.
Spend less time on the computer, it will suck up your life and never let you out.
Shorts do not work for you, and neither does smiling. Don't bother with either.
Convince your mum that you do not need so many animals already.
Don't let your uncle help you move, he wrecks your desk.
Your uncle is a dick, convince your mum that his girlfriend is no good.
Don't bother with middle school, home-schooling helps you out more than it does.
High School is fun, don't worry about it.
You'll get horribly bored of video games, don't bother with them.
Help your relatives more, it'll help you in the long run.
Don't get in any fights, you'll always get your ass handed to you.
If you want to cut yourself, get a sharper knife.
Stop changing yourself to suit your friends, your personality will thank you later.
Your attention span is tiny, never start something that will take more than a couple of hours to finish.
You cannot do anything you plan on, be spontaneous.
While telling the truth about people to their faces is admirable, keeping it to yourself demonstrates better willpower.
Your memory sucks, write down anything you need to do and don't worry about the blanks.
And finally, reread this letter as you get older so it doesn't get out of your mind.

Sincerely, Your Future Self.

This is a great letter... You sound like someone I know though...

[Galloism]

Dear 16 year old Galloism,

Every time you think you have a great idea, do the opposite.

Signed, Older Grumpy Galloism.

[Jenrak]

To my younger self,

August 15's lottery winning numbers are:

5 6 15 31 38 39 Bonus 36

Sincerely,

Your future self.

[Dostanuot Loj]

Dear 12 year old DL,

The Chlorine wasn't fun, don't make it. Trust the books on that one. The doctors in the ER won't be so amused as you.

[Saige Dragon]

Dear 16 year old Saige,

Remember to pop your collar often, faux hawks are the shit and you should find a job at used car lot with the intention of selling Porsche's in like a couple a years. That probably won't work out but you can pretend you're the shit anyways by spending half your paycheck on your Blackberry's bill at the end of the month. Also women measure dick size by how loud your rice rocket sounds. Don't forget your the most important mutherfucker in the room even if you still don't have to shave more than once a week. Go get 'em champ.

Older, wiser Saige


PS Just fucking with you dude, you're on the right track. Remember to drink a lot in Switzerland, it'll dull the pain. And while the snow may suck in Golden, you'll still have a rockin' good time with new friends. Also, you should probably get a new steady bearing on that truck of yours before you leave to go roar around remote roads in the middle of nowhere.

[Ritteland]

Dear 15 year old Ritteland,

The girl sitting in the desk in front of you. The hot looking one. She isn't a girl.

[Call to power]

Stooped thread making me think of what to put all day instead of concentrating on things like driving

Dear 16-year-old Rob

Hai from the future (we have killer bacon kewl huh!)
You should prolly work on your GCSE's you lazy fuck also don't bother with the regular army just join TA which you'll do either way just one option has a shit-ton more work you decide. Pussy.

Figure out what you want to spend the rest of your life doing for me because I still do not know what I want to do. Fuck what everyone at school thinks their losers, you have nothing to prove and the chick you are all lovey dovey with now is a bitch.

Now as for the girl you've just started hanging out with, she’s actually rather soft deep down try to be gentle with her because your going to end up as each others rocks (on that note trying to make someone laugh with heart attack jokes when their bawling on you is not cool). She will give you a marriage proposal at a really really bad time try not to let that fuck with your head too much.