Letters to a younger you

[Brogavia]

Dear me this march,

Don't for the love of god, call your sister when you get drunk! Ever. And have the balls to ask out Amber you pussy.

[Antilon]

I really like this thread. I'm going to draft some things on paper before I post the real thing.

[BunnySaurus Bugsii]

I was struck dumb by Stephen Fry's letter. A lot of the comments focussed on the same passage, but not all of them picked it out of the paragraph quite the same:

[...]Gay people sometimes believe (to this very day, would you credit it, young Stephen?) that the preponderance of obstacles and terrors they encounter in their lives and relationships is intimately connected with the fact of their being gay. As it happens at least 90% of their problems are to do with love and love alone: the lack of it, the denial of it, the inequality of it, the missed reciprocity in it, the horrors and heartaches of it. Love cold, love hot, love fresh, love stale, love scorned, love missed, love denied, love betrayed ... the great joke of sexuality is that these problems bedevil straight people just as much as gay. The 10% of extra suffering and complexity that uniquely confronts the gay person is certainly not incidental or trifling, but it must be understood that love comes first[....]

I'm not going to write that kind of letter. My sixteen-year-old self doesn't know who I am; it would freak him out completely to get a love-letter from the future. I'll keep it practical.

[South Lorenya]

Dear Atma,

Enclosed are an envelope¹ that should be opened in June 2000, an envelope² that should be opened in June 2001, and an envelope³ that should be opened in june 2002. You'll know what to do with them.

PS: The basement'll flood several times, so don't let anything water-damagable stay within four inches of the floor!

--Atma

¹ Contains a dozen news articles on Florida in the 2000 presidential election.
² Contains a dozen news articles on 9/11.
³ Contains a log of the disastrous ending to Atma's last relationship and a warning not to date [good female's name removed] unless [hideously evil female's name removed] is permabanned.

[The Atlantian islands]

*SNIP*

It sounds like you had your share of tough times in your youth and I honestly hope you got through everything alright and things ended up rather well for you and your family.

[BunnySaurus Bugsii]

Dear BSB:

You may be surprised to hear that you live at least to the age of forty-five. Greetings from the future!

Congratulations on your sixteenth birthday. You will forget it eventually, trust me.

You have the remainder of Year 12 to consider my suggestions here. If you do anything differently it will all change after that, so I won't try to clue you up about the crocodile or the

Some of those girls you fancy, fancy you a lot too. They just can't get near you because you stink. Have a shower every day, wash your clothes and lose the beard. I'm not sure if this has happened yet, but when you go up to the darkroom to look at Kathy's enlargements do at least agree to kiss her. You won't get a chance like that too often.

Remember, all your friends are stressed about the exams too. I know its important to you to seem to know everything without studying, you're a fucking smartarse and you'll be that way for a while yet. But you really are stressed, and you don't have to be. You get the mark you need very easily even without studying, and getting drunk for the whole week before the Exams start really isn't necessary. Let alone the solvents. Brother, you know that stuff isn't good for you. Stay away from the solvents.

You'll get into Science easily. You might want to consider doing Engineering instead. You have excellent spatial intelligence, and you're more practical than you realize. You would make an excellent engineer, not so much a scientist.

Try to say something nice to our little sister, when she comes third in the State in English. None of your marks are that good, and the snooty comment about Maths being better than English really hurt her.

I think you should go to university next year as you are planning. I suggest that you take Mathematics (I'm sure we agree on that) but don't do the Computer Science course at all.

Dad was right about the typing, keep practising it. He's completely wrong about computers: you don't need a mainframe, you need your own computer to mess around with. Earn yourself some money after the exams, and buy a PC or a Mac. Play some games, you don't know where that will lead.

Now, I won't tell you what happens at University, because if you've followed my advice your life will already be quite different by then. Just a couple of hints:

1. Those young men and women are not flirting with you to be polite. Play around a bit!
2. You are not a genius. Not compared to some of the people you will meet at Uni.
3. Chess Club is worth a try. See 2.
4. Please try to do the third year of your Bachelor's.

I know you hate Malcolm Fraser. But you still have free university tuition, introduced by Gough. The next prime minister (a Labor PM!) will introduce fees in 1989, so you haven't got forever to get a degree for free.

Both our parents and our little sister are still alive, in good health, and doing well. Nana died earlier this year, in her sleep at the age of 98! I sang hymes at her funeral, if you can believe that.

Best regards and good luck,
your wrinkly, slightly crazy but not unhappy older self, BSB.

[Collectivity]

Well done on a great thread Fass!

Personally, I'd do a little advice giving on use of prophyllactics and some general advice onn visiting old friends and forgiving them before they die.

Tell those that you love that you do indeed love them.

Oh and I'd tell the young me to buy Microsoft shares when they come on the market.

[Kostemetsia]

Dear Younger Alma,

Please, for the love of God, when you get to college, don't fall in love with the tall, dark-haired music dork. He will destroy you.

Love,
Older, depressed Alma

Speaking as a tall, dark-haired music dork, I apologize for that one, and assure you he was an aberration. We're generally good people.

Speaking as another tall, dark-haired music dork, I apologise for Intangelon's apology. As a general rule, we're psychopaths who get our kicks out of destroying others. Trust me, I know - it's part of my daily routine.

By the way, Intangelon - what instrument?

EDIT: Somehow I managed to get Intangelon confused with Wilgrove.

[The Imperial Navy]

Dear younger Carl.

Testicles.

That is all.

-You.

[Ring of Isengard]

Dear younger Carl.

Testicles.

That is all.

-You.

You should have written-

Dear younger Carl.

Don't watch so much Family Guy.

That is all.

[Tiesabre]

Dear young and dumber version of me Tiesabre, yeah I know Tiesabre makes no sense to you but I can't use SliceSabre here,

Anyway...I forgot a central point to writing my past self. You're a fucking egomaniac. No doubt you've thrown those previous letters in the trash and laughed them off.

You'll always make the same mistakes, in fact you've got a strong tendency to make the same mistakes until they jump up and rip your face off, so fuck trying to tell you anything.

Oh I swear to God if you write me back with some smart-ass remark, which no doubt you will I know myself, I'll fucking kill you. Fucking kill you dead. I've got no issues fucking around with the time space continuum.

Oh and when our cousin says that our other cousin fucked us in our sleep, he's lying his pants off, he's been fucking us in our sleep. Get his ass back if you've got the balls.

You're better looking, more solidly built and all round more popluar and future version of yourself.

Tiesabre.

[The Imperial Navy]

Dear younger Carl.

Testicles.

That is all.

-You.

You should have written-

Dear younger Carl.

Don't watch so much Family Guy.

That is all.

I watched it, and I'll never regret a second of it.

[Blouman Empire]

I have occasional sane, reasoned, moments when I answer questions seriously. Luckily they don't happen very often.

[Grays Harbor]

If I could, I would send one to my 30 year old self in 1986

Dear Dumbass;

The woman you met the other night? Remember? You got her phone number?

RUN!!

She's a Psycho and will make the next 11½ years a living hell. Go. Go now. Lose the phone number.

Sincerely,
Your Future Self

[Yootopia]

Dear JB :

- Avoid drugs in powdered form
- Try to be a decent sort at all times, this will pay off
- Don't join NSG, it's academic poison

[Dyakovo]

Well, since I've posted here a couple of times I suppose I ought to actually participate...

Dear Younger Dyakovo,

Don't worry, things turn out fine...

Older Dyakovo

P.S. Pay your damn tickets on time...

[SoWiBi]

Je ne regrette rien.

As someone who habitually writes letters to her future self, I've followed and thought about this thread for a while now. I found it intriguing to think about it "from the other side" than I usually do, and I tried to formulate a letter of my own.

In a sense, I failed. I have absolutely nothing to say to my younger self, in a positive sense.
When I look back, yes, I see quite a handful of shitty circumstances, decisions and actions, but the only thing I have to say about them retrospectively are "I need this to become the person I am" and "This too shall pass", both of which I know I've always been aware of. But more importantly, I see a me I deeply love, a person I cherish and admire (within the given context), and all I'd have to say is "I guess you do have your faults, most of them well-known to you, but you're an amazing person you can always be proud of, and you'll grow with every year", but that I've always felt, too, so there's really nothing to say.

Yeah, my 16-year-old self would make a terrible today's me, but I daresay most 16-year-olds make horrible mid-twens, so that's nothing I'd have to correct my past self about.
Yeah, that hairstyle is ugly as shit (as it happens, I'm currently looking at a 2000er picture of myself), but I'll grow out of it, and there's no need to make poor past me even more insecure about my looks then.

All in all, I'd say I've been rather well-advised by my "contemporary self" throughout the years, and wherever things did get fucked up, I assume I 't have not been ready for "being better" yet, so trying to interfere from "now" could only be futile (best case), cause harm (worse case), or even prevent me from really growing into and internalizing that "better way" (worst case).

So yes, I'll pass on my chance to write that letter. If someone wants my time-travel voucher for a second letter/try, they may have it.

[Saint Clair Island]

As someone who habitually writes letters to her future self,

I did that once. The letter I wrote to my future self was a pretty simple way of judging whether my life had improved: on one side were fill-in-the-blank questions like "How much sugar do you eat per day?" and "How often do you exercise?" and "When was the last time you brushed your teeth?", on the other side the same questions answered a year earlier. Nonetheless, inertia assured that the letter didn't have any effect on guilting me into changing my ways -- and besides I was still doing about as well as I had the previous year in the various categories, so it didn't affect me enough to inspire me to write another one.

[SoWiBi]

I did that once. The letter I wrote to my future self was a pretty simple way of judging whether my life had improved: on one side were fill-in-the-blank questions like "How much sugar do you eat per day?" and "How often do you exercise?" and "When was the last time you brushed your teeth?", on the other side the same questions answered a year earlier. Nonetheless, inertia assured that the letter didn't have any effect on guilting me into changing my ways -- and besides I was still doing about as well as I had the previous year in the various categories, so it didn't affect me enough to inspire me to write another one.

I see.

My way of doing that is a bit different. I don't try to judge or guilt-trip my future self in that way; I just want to primarily keep an "official record" of how I felt about myself and the past year, and if this secondly gives an incentive to my then-contemporary self to positively recalibrate herself in the light of the hopes and expectations she'll be reminded of by the letter from the past, good, but that is neither the main goal nor realistic most of the time.

[Jello Biafra]

Dear 14-year-old Jello:

High school sucks. It isn't the best time of your life. Don't believe people who claim it is. When you stop attending, don't stay enrolled because you think it'll get better. It won't. Drop out and go to college already. You'll get better financial aid because you're younger.
Coming out will suck, but you won't regret it. I suspect you know this already.
Be careful what you wish for. Especially regarding you-know-who. Stop pining already.
You will meet a lot of users and liars in your dating life. Don't trust them.
There will be an asshat in your health class. When he's not with his friends, kick his ass. You'll feel better.
Your life as you imagine it being ten years from now will be basically your worst fears come true. You'll be happier with it than you'd ever believe you could be.

Sincerely,

An Older You (But Not Necessarily the Older You)

Most of the horrible, painful or humiliating events in my life I...wouldn't be the same person if they didn't happen.

But what if you'd be a better person if they didn't happen?

[JuNii]

Dear 6 year old Junii.
Follow your dreams. go ahead and try out for football, Give it a go. also, if you get to High School, try acting, who knows, you might like it. Take it from me, following the path that your parents laid out for you will bring some great friends, but in the end, it's your life to live. oh, and try to ask your parents about taking something like Martial Arts, I think you'd like that better than those piano lessions. oh and if she hasn't already given it to you, look in the Den bookshelf for Mom's copy of Susan Cooper's "Over Sea, Under Stone" I find the end corner of the hall, the one next to the mirror to be the best reading spot... until Dad makes that dining room closet... insist on the red doors. it's awsome on the inside and allows enough light to read by.

ps... except the dream about joining the military... I would put that off since things will happen that will just be nothing but headaches for you later on. but if you do decide to join up... go Navy.

pps... they know about the stuff you have hidden under the pool table. move those things to another location... or better yet, just get rid of em. trust me on this. the less they know... the less will haunt you at your 40th birthday.

[Aelosia]

Dear 12 years old Beatrice:

I bet you are thinking this letter is not directed at you, but it is. I didn't get the name wrong, I am calling you by the name that you and me know you want to be called. Eventually most people around you will call you by that name, with that pronunciation, instead of the name you bear now.

Quite soon from now, one of these days in the school, you will get up relatively ill. Do not go to school that day, no matter what they say, and if they force you, and gets worse during the morning, be a good girl, wait until your brother finishes school, and do not call mom, under any circumstances. You don't want to know what your life will come to be if you call her, so save yourself all those years of solitude and guilt and do not call her. After all, it will be just a simple flu fever.

As long as you do as I said above, everything will be better than it could be, with just a few exceptions. Regarding dad, I know that he can be quite apart and even aloof sometimes, but he is one of the best persons you will ever cross paths with in your life. It is a good thing you won't have to see him sacrificing himself as I did, (remember to not call mom, ok?), but he is a great man, and will take care of you forever, because some day he will hug you and you will find that you always are going to be his little princess. No matter what, do not hide anything from him and always ask him for help, that he will do anything for you.

Your brothers, well... I know you hate boys at this age, but they are not so bad, for boys that is. See Carlos, your older brother now, that annoying bookworm who always seems to think that he knows best in everything and is so bossy around you? Eventually he will soften up, and even hug you and kiss you. And he will grow into a ridiculously smart doctor who will be always right about many things, and will always take care of you when you are sick, and find many doctor friends to help if anything wrong happens to you, or to mom and dad, (it is important for you to not call mom). You do not understand his pain now, because all that is wrong with him is that he, like you, doesn't like girls and wants to love boys and the people around him couldn't understand it. But do not think about it too much, he will eventually be happy and travel all around the world, but please understand and help him in any way, ok? He is just too sensitive even if he looks too tough and demanding perfection for anything you do. Just remember that someday, no matter what happened during your childhood, he will ask if you want to move with him. Do not even doubt it, move with him inmediately, and do not complain anymore because he plays the piano loudly when you are trying to do something else, or because you are studying or watching TV, because one day, you could end crying because you can't hear him playing at the piano anymore. And you will miss that piano sonatas more than anything, I can swear.

This is going to sound pretty weird, but eventually, your younger brother Jesus and you will be friends. It is going to take a while, and perhaps you will fight a lot for many years. No matter what you do in the future, leave him the high moral ground and keep enjoying yourself, because there is nothing wrong with what you are doing. I know you are envious of him now, because he is getting all the attention, but remember that he is sick right now, and needs help, so stop being selfish and help him for a change. He will apprecciate it, and will be generous in his payment years later, so much that if you treat him well now he will be your first confidant and helper sooner. He is going to study engineering, so always remember to give him anything you consider broken. He will fix it and will enjoy every moment of it.

Start to learn cooking from mom now, it will be useful later. (But never call mom from the school, ok?) I was never able to mimic her recipes, specially the filled avocado, the risotto, the callos and the oven chicken, but I am pretty sure you will be. Boys will love it if you manage to improve your cooking. I know that I am speaking about boys now and you do not understand why you should care about that annoying group of pricks, but in a few years you will, and girl, with what intensity you will understand it...Don't you dare to even think to quit your cello classes, you know? You could pretty well end as a talented something with that instrument. you will regret it for years and years.

Once you understand it, there are many things you have to know now. First, boys are not bad, but the problem is the "what for". Remember always what for you want a boy before getting it, ok? Anyway, mom should be around if you have any questions, so never doubt to speak with her about boys. (And never, ever, listen to your brothers about it, at least until they are 25 years old or older). Rely less on your friends, and remember that the prettiest girls aren't going to be the best friends, specially if they are called Carmen and Melissa, and specially if they have been in school with you since you were really little. All girls are potentially venomous snakes.

Oh, never ever laugh at how scared is Carmen of that moth flying around. Believe me, you wouldn't like one of those gigantic moths inside your mouth, and you won't like being even more scared of moths from then on. And let that fight with the history teacher aside, you will see years later that it brought you more problems that it was worth, even although you were right.

Tell Melissa that if she wants a smoking partner she can find it somewhere else, I cannot even tell you how much money I still spend in cigarettes because of that bitch. Soon you will find yourself in college, so that kiss in the rain was perfect as a first kiss, really, you will learn to treasure it eventually, even if you still think he wasn't good enough because he didn't have a shining armor.

And yes, that guy you will like, that Diego, he is no knight in shining armor, although to be quite frank, he is not that bad neither. When he asks you for a special night, give it to him, but force him to make special dammit. Truly special, and he can do it, believe me he can. However, I must warn you, compromise scares him a lot, so never force him too much. And if you do, well, he will run from it.

Forget about journalism. You are not going to make it. You are not going to get fantastic reports about anything, or to get to be a news anchor. You are not good enough or pretty enough for that. Drop it and go for advertising right away, the money is there, and you won't rotten in a desk, or sent to places with shooting and tear gas around for no pay and no privileges. Even better, study something completely different, try languages, it seems that you have a knack for that. Learn french, and so you will be inmune to guys who know it. And about that, avoid guys that know french. They tend to be loud and smell bad the next day.

Lately but no less, during your university years you will have plenty of opportunities to make a mistake and end pregnant. If you ever do, take that chance and have it. Ask mom for help, (DO NOT call mom from school, sweetie), even dad, your brothers, all of them will be willing to help, but do not make the mistake of not having it, because later, honey, you won't be able to, and you will think extremely sad about that.

That is all I know so far. I wish I could know more about us, to warn you, sometimes I think it is not enough. Please never stop to try to be happy and all, because I still cherish the good memories.

Your old sister, 30 years old Beatrice.


(That was extremely relieving inside).

[Neu Leonstein]

-snip-

I'm not gonna ask what happens if she did call mom from school...but isn't it crazy how little things like that sometimes become life-changing events? And you can trace everything back to something random like that?

I've been thinking about this for two days now. Can drive you paranoid.

[Ring of Isengard]

Coming out will suck, but you won't regret it. I suspect you know this already.

Funny if you didn't.

[Aelosia]

-snip-

I'm not gonna ask what happens if she did call mom from school...but isn't it crazy how little things like that sometimes become life-changing events? And you can trace everything back to something random like that?

I've been thinking about this for two days now. Can drive you paranoid.

I've been thinking about this for 18 years. I know that for many maybe retracing life to a single event wouldn't change a lot, but for me it does, completely change everything. And yes, it drives you therapy-wise paranoid.

Actually, the letter got pointless after the "do not call mom" part, I realized that my life would had been entirely different if that little event didn't happen, from that day to this day. I would had resumed it into "do not ever call mom when ill, call dad, ok?", but I guess that retracing it whole half anonymous had its magic.