Awesome/Funny NS quotes (not your own quotes, please)

[The Federal Republic of Simonia]

If a nuclear reactor leaks or explodes, the solution is nuke it until it goes away.

[The Grey Wolf]

In decreasing order of likelihood:

Not really a virgin, lying about that for some reason.
Engaged in a "sex like" act or unprotected anal sex, considers self virgin, but a sperm was particularly determined.
Molested or raped, doesn't remember due to being passed out or drugged
Sat on a sticky bus seat
Raped by God

Well, if the pastor says "let God come into you" some women might take that the wrong way.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

"And I must say, if you truly are members of the Spanish Inquisition, whom I did not expect when I sat down at that bar, then your parents must have hated you, Mr. Verga, or maybe they had enormous expectations for you."

The joke depends on whether you know what "Verga" means.

[Luveria]

So being a libertarian or anarchist should be a crime in your ideal world too?

Yes. Anarchist definitely. The most disobedient of all. Anarchists are a bunch of savages in the first place. They do not know any better unless they have been reeducated.

[Unitaristic Regions]

She had one beer; I keep saying it, it's not an addiction. Hard labour won't lower the rate of drug and alcohol usage effectively.

And then:

She's a drunk. You can't be a drunk and be a model citizen at the same time. She's lucky she's not living in a police state. Life on the streets will teach her a moral lesson by not drinking in the first place.

Sweet Jesus you must be a ton of fun at parties...

[Luveria]

This is a goldmine.

Sweet Jesus you must be a ton of fun at parties...

Mind you, I avoid parties. They're a breeding ground for suicidal behavior.

[Hetalian Indie Rio de Janeiro]

Should be. It can't be for pleasure. I know dolphins have sex for pleasure but leave that to the dolphin society. As human, we should only have sex for procreation only. Nothing else.

[Unitaristic Regions]

And this is why people like you end up in prison for hating authority and order.

Noted.

The US law states that hating authority and order will land you in prison for anywhere from 5 to 15 years, on top of financial penalties.

~TSU, On the US Code, p. 103

[Damanucus]

Excuse the long run-up; I need it to explain the situation in detail.
This one actually comes from the safe-space rape thread, so as you can probably guess, this will sit firmly in Awesome, since...no, I don't need to explain it. But before I explain why it's awesome, I need to explain the situation that lead to this.

Mizrah was confused about something called rape culture. The Genoese Cromatorium provided their definition, which lead to ShelbyvilleHS (formerly Homosexy) responding thusly:

It is a non-existant notion that in first-world countries, the promotion and condoning of rape and sexual assault are everyday fact, whereas in most cases, they are not.

In other places, such as the islamic middle east, or central and southern Africa, however, rape culture is an existant part of everyday life.

This is actually a very common ignorance - let me help you out.

Rape culture is not where people condone rape (although that can be part of it), it is not where people think rape is great. It's a culture where rape is excused away and victims are blamed. Rape culture is in the first world, just like everywhere else with a few examples:
1. Rape is huge. 1 in 4 college girls huge. 1 in 5 girls worldwide huge. And what's being done about it? Rapes aren't being reported because of the attitude police and people have toward victims, so they hide it.
2. 3% of reported rapists are in jail even for a day. Mainly because DAs don't bother to take anycases.
3. College campuses and people in general are hostile to victims. There is blame, questions about what thy were wearing, their rape is excused away by being out at 2am.
4. People think these girls are full of shit. The false reports are about 2 - 8% of all rape cases and even then I think those numbers are too high. But people think that it's upward of 50%.
5. Not to mention the casual way we talk and don't talk about rape in these "first world countries". Well talk about how we just got raped on a test, but no one feels comfortable really sitting down and discussing rape.

All of those and more blatantly point to a rape culture that DOES exist. Please educate yourself

Now, I'm not the only one who thinks this is awesome; in fact, Mushet said it first, and explained why he thought it was awesome, all the point of which I agree with.

[Genivaria]

I'm a Christian but I did notice some strange happenings at school.

In my Social Studies class we learned about Christianity, Buddhism, and Hinduism. However, in my science class my teacher skipped the chapter about the theory evolution because it was "too controversial."

Slap him for being un American!

A true American has balls to spread controversy and a real American gives us food for thought!

God I wanna &$%# a Bald Eagle right now!

[Constaniana]

Well, I don't have any money to get out of South America in the first place *bitch please yao ming meme*

Go to Venezuela, join their military, next time Hugo-wannabe successor decides to rob/liberate their version of Best buy, take some shit, sell it on the side, and buy yourself a ticket, maybe even, two to paradise. but you're gonna have to pack your bags and leave tonight.

[Genivaria]

Your anger pleases me. Good job.

Yes, good, give in to your anger. Use your aggressive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow through you. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.

[Ainin]

Context: A discussion in the NSG Senate about an IC communist guerrilla organisation planning to shoot down a commercial jetliner.

*CEO flies to Sweden to discuss the viability of installing anti-MANPADS Civil Aircraft Missile Protection Systems onboard airliners*

Hey wait until I attack first before you instal them please.

[Tagmatium]

I see no evidence of evolution. Look at the monkeys & apes at the zoo throwing poop, then look at Congress. No sign of evolution at all!

Childish, but still pretty funny.

[The Holy Therns]

QUOTH THE RAVEN: "NEVERMORE"

Quoth the crow: "You say that after every night out and you never mean it."

[DesAnges]

Quoth the crow: "You say that after every night out and you never mean it."

Thank you kindly.

[Anollasia]

What winter sport is the most popular in your nation?

Uphill skiing. We simply love a challenge.

[Luziyca]

Also, there is no need to post the lyrics in the national finals thread. However, since you did so, and it gives off a quality similar to that of Alexandr Land and Lymantatia combined, you have a 100% chance of getting 0 points.

If it was Lymantatia, the first line would be google-translated into every language imaginable

Si c'était Lymantatia, la première ligne serait google-traduit dans toutes les langues imaginables.
Wenn es Lymantatia, würde die erste Zeile sein, in jeder Sprache erdenklichen google-übersetzt.
Si era Lymantatia, la primera línea sería google traduce-en todos los idiomas imaginables.
Если бы это было Lymantatia, первая линия будет Google-перевод на любой язык можно себе представить.

OK, I'll stop now.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

And he's willing to show how tall he stands too.

weiner shows himself for education

[Kouralia]

Not unmanageable, but an upper limit is about 25.

WRONG. I mean. Cars have a higher HP/tonne ratio then that!

Cars aren't on sprockets and treads you wazz.

RE: Horsepower per tonne ratio for tanks. I liked it.

[Constaniana]

Came up in the Elfen High OOC when the increasing membership of the LDS church in Mexico.

We're everywhere.

except the whitehouse.

[The balkens]

Came up in the Elfen High OOC when the increasing membership of the LDS church in Mexico.

except the whitehouse.

mission accomplished.

[Vareiln]

Trust me, I'am a Bulgarian, it could be worse.

[Nation in Memoriam of SlemFu]

I meant to post this a while ago but never got to it

so here. Credit goes to Slembana and Thafoo, organizing credit to Blekksprutia.

viewtopic.php?f=21&t=248060&p=15206315#p15206315

[Beta Test]

A Gendarmeshut the doors of the Senate, to muffle the sounds of explosions, helicopters, WOMBAT anti-tank guns, machine guns, IFVs being destroyed, car crashes, and 'L'International' being played by a still-alive speaker system. "Yeah, could people please use the back entrance. It appears the Gendarmerie, the Intelligencery and the Constabularies are fighting the Communists, the Mafia, the Auca cfg-thing and real estate brokers."

The doors were made of 'FuckOff-ium', a remarkable material that the fighters would be unable to get through, so the non-RP section of NSGS wouldn't be broken by it.

From the NSG Senate.