Awesome/Funny NS quotes (not your own quotes, please)

[Grenartia]

*Searches thread with own name*
*nothing comes up*
*cry*
*finds funny quote*

EDIT: Fixed

1. Toxic in air isn't going to kill people directlly.
2. Tax supporting environment are useless, we can live without it.

That is neither awesome, nor funny. The thread, nay the forum as a whole, is worse off for you having posted it.

[Thafoo]

*Searches thread with own name*
*nothing comes up*
*cry*
*finds funny quote*

EDIT: Fixed

1. Toxic in air isn't going to kill people directlly.
2. Tax supporting environment are useless, we can live without it.

I expected better from fixed.

It's about as remarkable as my renal system, which is not particularly interesting nor remarkable.

[Christmahanikwanzikah]

*Searches thread with own name*
*nothing comes up*
*cry*
*finds funny quote*

EDIT: Fixed

I expected better from fixed.

It's about as remarkable as my renal system, which is not particularly interesting nor remarkable.

Speak for yourself.

[Luveria]

*Searches thread with own name*
*nothing comes up*
*cry*
*finds funny quote*

EDIT: Fixed

1. Toxic in air isn't going to kill people directlly.
2. Tax supporting environment are useless, we can live without it.

That is one of the most mundane posts I have read.

[Thafoo]

I expected better from fixed.

It's about as remarkable as my renal system, which is not particularly interesting nor remarkable.

Speak for yourself.

But... I was speaking for myself. I said my renal system isn't particularly remarkable.

[Christmahanikwanzikah]

Speak for yourself.

But... I was speaking for myself. I said my renal system isn't particularly remarkable.

You'll get that one after you log off.

[Frisbeeteria]

Not a chat thread.

[Vareiln]

It's not odd at all. It's natural to love good artists.

Oh, an artist.

Who's the lucky girl? Bree Olson? Tory Lane? Eva Angelina? Kayden Kross?

[The Grey Wolf]

Can't quote the post because thread is locked. This quote comes from the Jewish comedian of Nation-States.... Menassa.

My levitcal instincts are telling me to depart....

[Damanucus]

Can't quote the post because thread is locked. This quote comes from the Jewish comedian of Nation-States.... Menassa.

My levitcal instincts are telling me to depart....

You actually can; it'll just involve you having to find the post number, which can be done if you hover your mouse over the little letter in the top left corner of the post.

By the way, a little addition to the inanity. Now, take into consideration that, a couple of posts before this in the thread, Ardchoille had berated Eireann Fae and Mesogiria for a...mature plot to their posting (God help me if he catches up to me); this was Meso's response, or at least the first line to it. Again, as with all contributions (mine more so than others), "funny" mileage may vary.

OOC:*crumples up, sets fire to vast tome entitled "Kinky Plot Lines #34-77, Annotated, With Errata" blushing furiously* 10-4, Ghostrider.

[Risottia]

*Searches thread with own name*
*nothing comes up*
*cry*
*finds funny quote*

This one is pretty funny:
viewtopic.php?f=20&t=272565&p=17671491#p17671491

*facepalm*

Lolz. They can't say they weren't warned.

[Flakusorum]

I find it's a good policy.

Apathy: it would make the world go 'round, but it can't be bothered.

[Divair]

where's the change, obama?

In his thongs obviously.

[Regnum Dominae]

Regarding the latest PISA educational rankings:

These people can't even build a tower without having it almost topple over, and yet we're supposed to trust them with our education?

[Anollasia]

Hello. I am pleased to inform you that I have found the perfect suitor for your beautiful daughter.
I have with me a goat. But let me just say that this is no ordinary goat; this is Goatsie, a genetically engineered goat. Goatsie can do many things, like brave temperatures of up to -40 degrees, and has a stomach that can survive up to 10 units of alcohol in one sitting. He can also juggle.
I know, this is a shocker. "Surely, Emperor, this must cost a fortune! And for a juggling goat, too!"
This is a free suitor. Your daughter can have Goatsie as a suitor, absolutely free!
Remember: You can have a normal marriage, or you can have a novelty, yet amazing gift to your daughter.

Juggling goat.

[The Republic of Lanos]

Happy birthday, Reppy!

Aw, he brought me a birthday present!

A fresh target.

On second thought...

[Reploid Productions]

Happy birthday, Reppy!

Aw, he brought me a birthday present!

A fresh target.

On second thought...

See, he's the sort of DOS that's fun, because he has all of the subtlety of a flying mallet. It's like playing Duck Hunt but without the friggin' dog to piss you off!

[Nightkill the Emperor]

You know what's fantastic?

I picked this flag pretty much the exact same minute my name turned green.

When I noticed your name change, I TG'd you.

When the page reloaded after sending the TG, you morphed from Neil Patrick Harris to the Grinch's unhinged Scottish cousin.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

I've been wandering for a long time; not even God knows anymore.

The sun reflected off the cracked windshield of my car - which slowly sputtered its way down the desert road, paint long since chipped by wave after wave of hungry sand into my eyes. Once, I had sunglasses to rectify this problem, but they were broken and lost now, just like everything else.

I glanced up at the sun. I tried not to do that very often, it wasn't a pleasant sight. This was the sun of my childhood, my life no more; this was a burning green flame, splintered across three deep gashes in the fabric of reality. They had come through them, chariots a-light with comet-fire. We thought they would be the end, but we were optimists and fools. They were simply the first, mere harbingers of the new age; not the end of all things, for that would be a mercy.

I am the last of us. One of my kind was with me once, forget his name, but he is dead now. Const. Agritum. Astro. Kevin. All of them gone now. I am the only man on earth, if you can still call it that.

There was a howl in the distance. Perhaps, when I was young, I would've feared an attack - but now, pain was a blessing. It was a distraction from what had grown - what had been planted - inside me. I can still hear the laughing.

How do I send this message back? The physical laws are more flexible; the screams of the Fourth Tide shattered them. We tried to stop them, but there were too many, far too many and with each of us to fall, they grew tenfold. I still pick their tendrils, pulsating, from my body at night. They're dead now, but that's no solace. All that's left of them are the carcasses and the crippled, crawling through the primordial muck they left behind in desperate search of some pity and a stupid fool to fester in. They will never be saved; there is no redemption for what they did, for what they made me do. We're all burn together, like we deserve.

But why do I send this message back? To save myself? Ha! I'm too far gone for that. I don't even look human anymore, let alone feel like one. I can sense it, the ocean of creation, churning and crashing with all the might of the universe. I can feel the Earth rotate on its axis, at a million million millions miles an hour, twisting and spinning around a dead spark. Or I could. Our world is far too cold for that now. The ocean has stopped, turned red with the blood of horrors past. There are no monsters left, only the starving, slobbering penance we created for ourselves and the yawning abyss that our war made.

No, I send this back to save others. There were innocents - the darkness changed them, but they existed. They still live, in a way, but not as man, not even as beast, only whispers. Maybe, this time, they'll listen and they won't fight back. Maybe they'll take What Is To Come with their heads held high.

It's your choice. If you get this, it's too late; you've already given Khan the power. This is only the beginning, the first domino. Do the right thing and die when you are told - living is worse than you can imagine.

[Dakran]

We should build a giant middle finger in space that flips off aliens (both illegal and ET), shoots lasers out of its finger, and if needed, can crash into Canada to halt their imperialistic ambitions of global domination.

[Coffee Cakes]

In other news: fuck all the people getting butthurt over "too soon" Paul Walker stuff.

No I agree.
People being so fast to make jokes about a person's death makes me furious. I'd better be careful this doesn't drift into flaming though.

[Dakran]

No I agree.
People being so fast to make jokes about a person's death makes me furious. I'd better be careful this doesn't drift into flaming though.

Oh that's amazing.

[Len Hyet]

No; the mods did a thing, and now Nightkill can never die.

"The war between the Idiots and the Roleplayers threatens all of NS." said a mod. "You are unfortunately the only hope left."

"It's not my war, I will have no part of it." said the Cunt, looking weary.

"You can't ignore it forever."

"I will help where I can, I will not work!" he barked.

"Because you are an asshole, as you call yourself?"

"I call myself the Cunt."

"It's the same thing in your mind." the mod replied.

"I'd like to think so."

"Then, Cunt, look at this victim." the mod said, as STS was brought in.

The Cunt looked at the rp sadly. "I could have saved it, I could have got it somewhere, they wouldn't listen-"

"Then they were wiser than you. They understood there is no way to avoid the Roleplay Wars. You are a part of this, Cunt, whether you like it or not."

"I would rather die."

"You're dead already. How many would you let join you? The forum stands on the brink. Will you let it fall?" she continued speaking as the Cunt looked tired, accepting of the only choice. "Fast or strong, wise or angry, what do you need now?"

The Cunt grabbed STS' Nat. "Mentor." he declared.

"Mentor?" the mod inquired.

"I don't suppose there's any need for a cunt anymore..." he sighed. "Make me a Mentor now."

"I took the liberty of preparing this one myself." said the mod, handing a potion to him.

"GET OUT, GET OUT!" he roared. "Please, all of you." he whimpered at the end, looking at his potion. "Will it hurt?"

The mod paused. "Yes." she said, before they all filed out.

"EH, AWB, EH2, DW…stories, roleplays I've known, I salute you. And STS... I apologise. Cunt, fuck thyself." He said as he drunk the potion.

The goblet dropped from the Cunt hands and the golden regeneration energy radiated from his hands. He groans in pain and doubles over as it increases. The room is bathed in a bright light that soon fades.

In the aftermath stands a new man, a man looking at the mirror and declaring "Cunt no more."

[Shofercia]

Those old quotes, they can haunt you

bumpity bump

We don't do that here. [/notamod]

[Farnhamia]

Those old quotes, they can haunt you

We don't do that here. [/notamod]

Be assured, I am not haunted by that. After all, I wasn't a Mod then.