Independent Republic of Not My Problem wrote:Ground vehicles are simple and cost effective. My country uses a single pickup truck model that is modified depending on the task required. All trucks are based on the Ford F350, complete with heated leather seats, but no air conditioning, and standardized PRC-E7 radio system. They also come equipped with an 18" lift and 35" mud boggers. All trucks are powered by the Mk 1 Mod 0 PFC, which cuts down on fuel consumption as this motor requires no fossil fuels and runs entirely on dip and Monsters, which are both organic and sustainable. For protection, older model trucks are equipped with ceramic plates and active denial systems. Newer model vehicles are equipped with bright reflective strips adapted from the new PASGT Mk II body armor system, which has demonstrated the superior protective value of reflective strips compared to traditional ceramic armor units.
Truck Variants:
SMLL PNS: the Support, Medical, and Lightweight Logistical Personnel and Naval System is the model used by Naval and Marine forces to provide combat resupply, transport, and CASEVAC duties.
FOBBIT Mobile: Carries rear echelon personnel within earshot of guys shooting guns in training environments so they can get combat action ribbons and bronze stars to brag about when they return home for leave after being deployed to a duty station.
C4I Vehicle: Command, Control, Communications, Computers, and Intelligence Vehicle, provides a real time satellite connection to XBOX live so that SNCOs can build prestige points during field ops. The vehicle also contains FLIR and NVD equipment so that said SNCOs can tell when troops on night duty fail to post sentries, fall asleep, or put their hands in their pockets.
Infantry Assault Vehicle: Currently outfitted with a water cannon, but do to concerns that getting hostiles wet, simulating bath or shower conditions, would violate their religious beliefs, newer vehicles are being equipped with high tech microwave emitters. These new emitters make hostile forces feel slightly uncomfortable, as if being outside on a moderately warm summer day. The emitter will still kill most bacteria and diseases that they may be carrying, but without the added humiliation of inadvertently washing them.
Air Defense Vehicle: Our military is proud to announce that all our air defense vehicles have been upgraded to the new Rafale CXP-RTRT. This unit replaces all AAA and SAM systems with a transponder interrogation system that politely asks aircraft, without a proper Mode 4 reply, to leave the area. Our nation purchased the upgraded Mk 1 Mod 1 version, which still informs the hostile aircraft to leave, but instead of using a computer generated voice, uses the prerecorded voice of a polite English lady.
Power Generation Vehicle: This vehicle uses a Mk 1 Mod 1 PFC, in the shape of a hamster wheel, to generate electricity in the field, so that SNCOs aren't forced to play spades in the dark. A lighter weight generator, the Mk 1 Mod 2 PFC is also currently being fielded, but it is expected to supplement, rather than replace, the Mk 1 Mod 1. The Mod 2 variant has a weight and size advantage, being as compact and lightweight as a standard treadmill.
Anti-armor Unit: Yes, some guy with a bird on his shoulder thought it would be a great idea to cover a pickup truck in reflective tape and use it in an anti-armor capacity. This idea was so well received he was instantly promoted to four stars. Our leadership is unparalleled by anyone, anywhere in the world.
Ker-Splash: Unofficial designation for any vehicle used to hide the corpses of whiny junior enlisted who cried about being hazed, and then threatened to file a complaint up the chain of command. The vehicles are typically filled with the corpses and driven into a river to cover up the cause of death. Since most of the victims are useless, nobody really notices they're gone, except the whiny family members that nobody listens to because civilians have no rank.
Proposals have been made to use this system to get rid of uppity junior officers, but they cry so loud when they're hazed that the Mother's of The Independent Republic's Not My Problem can hear them half way across the country and immediately petition their elected officials to investigate. Though it is commonly recognized by the NCO Corps as necessary, it has been deemed to risky to execute do to the hearing damage caused by, supposed, grown men crying while doing push ups.
Off one of the military consultation/discussion threads in the IC forum.
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